the angst & ennui of the Lonesome i

8/12/2019 the angst & ennui of the Lonesome i

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an apologetic denial

this is another poemI started

to unite it all in one

Sankara has done ithe done it before

this was to be another

poem

there is no duality

it cannot be

it is words

a little weakness

perhaps

malcolm evison



ANTHEM

rejoice people

raise your voices and rejoicewar has been outlawed

by decree of the infallible popei suppose we should all go to church

get downon our knees

chant hail marys in trafalgar squareprofoundlyhe stated to the u.n.

that war is evil this great philosopher

theologianthe world is a marvellous place

such a beautiful place and by decreeof the vatican

we must love one another and i’m game

so long as i start with you

malcolm evison



EPITAPH

A diary is an epitaph,

The words of mine

Do not read sweetly,

But cold.

Corrosive, that’s what they are

I write of the mind’s corrosion,

Write out of fear

Not admiration,

But most importantly

I write to find love.

malcolm evison



Feel The Fear Tighten

Feel the fear tighten

as the manlooks at his freedom

and cannot find a wayto turn.

Feel the releaseas he is told

that things will not change -

and share his disbelief.

Feel the joy

of the man who findswhat he had lost

during the search.

Feel the fear tighten

as they discoverthe man has found himself.

Malcolm Evison



METAPHYSICS

Eternity

with HitlerChurchill and Mussoliniconfirms a hell

heaven standards

are much greaterChrist will bein such

good company

imagine the milleniumwith Lenin and Trotsky

in dialectical debatewith the Almighty

Stalin might be in either camphe’s such a cunning

gentleman just think

of the ways to suppress

the good book

Christ would be exiled

to Hell

malcolm evison



NO FEAR CAN MATCH

There is no greater sorrow

Than that

When one weeps alone -

No fear can match

That of the lonely man.

No fear can match

That which I catch

In my solitary den

malcolm evison



POEM ON ARMISTICE DAY

be queer and proud

of it / if that’s the wayyou feel -

just love your neighbourfly your banners

high;

so high you flytoo

then gently

lay your poppywreaths

on the streetsof the living

dead

malcolm evison



RENEWAL

blood redthe rose displays its silver veins

now – in this empty solitude -

the vibrant easeof song floods out my mind –

her face appears torturedyet in peace -

the windows shine

with night gently stroked

by the last echoesof her song –

splintering

into my heavy eyes –feeling her sorrow yet not seeing

the full depthof her fear

malcolm evison



RESTORATION

A psychiatrist is dutycunningly disguised as man –

defending the historic truthsonce made by mindless menhe views the scapegoat

through a microscopeand the freedom

proves embarrassing –

the victim has the time

to stand and starebut will not say that

these are sheepand those are cows

he has no need

the doctor states it for him.

*************

Enter the clinic as a man

depart as a roleleaving the poem

unwritten.

malcolm evison



spaces of the free

enter the spaces of the freelike tied and structured

sheer fall of the well

break bonds of libertyand set the foot rest

shackles free

from their deformity -

the first noel is mylast heaven

Christ strewn across the soot hillsof the sky

the merry chantsof fiery spiritssing for hima lullaby -

wrapped in the sealed earsof the ploughed and ground down

beasts of dismay

wilting and coolingin the sun drenched

frost parcheddesert of the city

[cont’d overleaf]



[spaces of the free - cont’d]

fearing the feelingfelt of former fun

and city streets full of sun-flowers that sparkle

like daisiesin the cool thighsof the girls

Malcolm Evison



T M

(A poem for Caroline)

Witnessing a frescoIn the chapel of my mind –I could not rest.

My past emblazoned on the walls

Of this my secret hermitage,I wept:

All colours had gone, and only wordsHung there, empty

Empty and cold.

Quietly in the night,I saw eternity decay,And knew my life must change.

I awoke,

You arrived,My transient future.

malcolm evison



THE CALLING

I walked by theresurrected Christand he looked

he looked at me - he saidtake up your cross

and follow me

No bloody fear I thought

no bloody fearI’m a coward

but I supposeit takes a brave man

to be a cowardwhen so summoned

malcolm evison



THE GIFT

Today is all my bygone daysthis evening is the dawn of my eternity,of loving faces, smiling eyesof touching fingerssliding carefree down the mossy slopesof always never.

Only then, will I see you smile,only now, do I feel your tearsgliding down the deitiesand landing on their feetof clay.

Today is mis-spent hourswasting into the gilt and glorythat was youth –no symbols, only words,softly spoken by the pollenfreely given to the bee.

And I receive themgratefully –feeling the touch of your fingersthrough my shroudof fear.



THOUGHT

I often wonder about Godand how he got tangled up

in the thought process

the whole idea

of thinkingbaffles me - just how

could man thinkwithout language

I always thinkin terms of words

like you - me - the world

then I’m no longer puzzled

about God

malcolm evison



To TATTY & G

i hurt you

but then – coldly –

in swift pursuit

yr.tears

hurt me –

i weep too –

inwardly

malcolm evison



untitled - love song (for tatty)

it is because

and only

you areand because you are

only because

i am

happy i am

because you are

and i love you

malcolm evison



Untitled poem – needless

needless to say

christmas came early

that year

and i reached eternity

there

upon cloud nine

i saw my girl

with someone else

i was so happy

because she was functioning

i smiled and thought

i’ll function soon

malcolm evison



Untitled Poem - slightest chance

there’s only the slightest chance

to you it may seem

there’s no chance at all

and you may be right

i hope not

i hope that one day

we’ll feel it together

malcolm evison

the angst & ennui of the Lonesome i

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