Super Saturday 2003

Becoming a Covenant Covenant MarriageMarriage Church

Super Saturday 2003

Why do people marry?

Identify 5 unhealthy reasons people marry?

Identify 5 healthy reasons people marry?

Super Saturday 2003

A Christian Marriage Is…

a total commitment of two people to the person of Jesus Christ and each other. It is a commitment in which there is no holding back of anything.

a school, a learning and growing environment in which (if everything is as it should be) both partners can grow and develop. The relationship grows along with them.

H. Norman Wright

Super Saturday 2003

What Does a Covenant Marriage Church Affirm?

Believing that marriage is a covenant intended by God to be a lifelong fruitful relationship between a man and a woman, we vow to God, each other, our family, and our community to remain steadfast in unconditional love, reconciliation, and sexual purity while purposefully growing in our covenant marriage relationship.

Super Saturday 2003

What does your church believebelieve about marriage?

Super Saturday 2003

What does your church dodo to strengthen marriages?

Super Saturday 2003

A Holistic

Approach

To Marriage

Ministry

Outreach Prevention

EnrichmentIntervention

Health

Super Saturday 2003

Did You Know

The federal government issues thousands of reports on nearly every dimension of American life,…But it provides no annual index or report on the state of marriage.

Americans today tend to see marriage as a couples relationship, designed to fulfill the emotional needs of adults…People now expect their marriages to be a spiritualized union of souls.

The State of Our unions 2003The National Marriage Project

Super Saturday 2003

Did You Know

Marriage is a fundamental social institution. It is central to the nurture and raising of children. It is the “social glue” that reliably attaches fathers to children. It contributes to the physical, emotional and economic health of men, women and children, and thus to the nation as a whole. It is also one of the most highly prized of all human relationships and a central life goal of most Americans. The State of Our unions 2003

The National Marriage Project

Super Saturday 2003

Did You Know

About a third of all children and more than two-thirds of African-American children are born out of wedlock.

Since 1960, there has been an 850 percent increase in the number of cohabiting couples who live with children.

The State of Our unions 2003The National Marriage Project

Roughly a million children each year experience parental divorce and its aftermath.

Super Saturday 2003

Did You Know

Compared to married fathers, men who are not married to their children’s mothers are significantly less likely to be consistently and positively involved with their children during their growing up years.

In reality, marriage is the social glue that holds fathers to their offspring. Marriage encourages regular and routine father involvement.

The State of Our unions 2003The National Marriage Project

Super Saturday 2003

Did You Know

Unmarried cohabiting fathers fail to show as much warmth or put in as much time or money in the care of their biological children as do married fathers.

Cohabiting men who are living with nonbiological children pose a risk of physical or sexual abuse to such children.

The State of Our unions 2003The National Marriage Project

Super Saturday 2003

Consider

…the new soul-mate ideal may create unrealistic expectations for intimacy that, if unfulfilled, may lead to disappointment, estrangement and even a search for a new soul mate.

The State of Our unions 2003The National Marriage Project

Super Saturday 2003

How will your church respond to couples?

•Soul-Mate Ideal

•Biblical Ideal

Super Saturday 2003

The Marriage Ministry UmbrellaRelationship

Skill Development

Premarital Counseling

Marriage mentoring

Marriage Enrichment

and Education

Marriage Strengthenin

g and Rebuilding

Divorce Recovery Ministry

Children’s Ministry

Prepare Inventory

Paring Newlywed

Couple with Mentoring

Couple

Retreats Referral List of Local

Professional Counselors

Divorce Care Video Series and Support

Group

Adolescents FOCCUS Inventory

Outline of Mentor

Qualifications

Workshops and

Seminars

Retrouvaille Retreats

KidsHope Seminars for

Children

Young Adults DISC Personality Inventory

Clear Expectations and Definition

of Mentor Relationship

Enrich Inventory

Marriage Support Groups and Bible Study

Groups

Single Parent Family

Ministry

Adults Series of Focused Couple

Sessions

Prayer Ministry

REFOCCUS Inventory

Sermon Series and

Testimonies

Follow-Up Care

Resources Resources Resources Resources Resources Resources

Super Saturday 2003

Do You

Have a church developed and approved marriage policy?

Provide at least 3 marriage preparation sessions in addition to the ceremony planning session?

Do You

Super Saturday 2003

Do You

Provide any additional follow up sessions during the first year of the marriage?

Provide on-going prayer ministry for nearly and newly married couples?

Do You

Super Saturday 2003

Do You

Provide a marriage mentoring ministry for

nearly and newly married couples

Super Saturday 2003

Do You

Provide at least one annual marriage strengthening retreat-workshop-seminar?

Provide an annual sermon series on relationships, marriage and family?

Do You

Super Saturday 2003

Do You

Provide media resources for individuals, couples and families: books, magazines, tapes, videos?

Provide Bible studies for youth focusing on relationship building, choosing a life partner, handling emotions, marriage and family?

Do You

Super Saturday 2003

Do You

Provide marriage and family testimonies and journey-sharing during worship services?

Have a referral network?

Do You

Super Saturday 2003

Relationship Skill Development

Areas of Focus

CoupleCloseness

Couple Flexibility

Communication

Personality Compatibility

ConflictResolution

SexualRelations

hipLeisure Activities

Familyand

Friends

FinancialManagement

Spiritual Beliefs

Super Saturday 2003

Relationship Skill DevelopmentI am very satisfied with how

we talk to each other.Yes No

We are creative in how we handle our differences.

Yes No

We feel very close to each other.

Yes No

My partner is seldom too controlling.

Yes No

When discussing problems, my partner understands my opinions and ideas.

Yes No

Super Saturday 2003

I am completely satisfied with the amount of affection from my partner.

Yes No

We have a good balance of leisure time spent together and separately.

Yes No

My partner’s friends or family rarely interfere with our relationship.

Yes No

We agree on how to spend money. Yes NoI am satisfied with how we express spiritual values and beliefs.

Yes No

Relationship Skill Development

Super Saturday 2003

MarriageMentoring

Super Saturday 2003

Marriage MentoringPurposes

To guideguide and encourageencourage nearly and newly married couples toward toward healthy, healthy, growinggrowing marriage relationships.

Super Saturday 2003

Marriage MentoringPurposes

To enlist and equip select lay couples to

minister to nearly and newly married couples

through intentional intentional marriage mentoring marriage mentoring

relationshipsrelationships that focus on mutual mutual

support, growth, support, growth, encouragementencouragement and

enrichment.enrichment.

Super Saturday 2003

Marriage MentoringObjectivesTo provide a support ministry to nearly and newly married couples in developing healthy relational skills and in building spiritual, emotional and physical intimacy in marriage.To provide ongoing training to equip select couples to serve as marriage mentors to nearly and newly married couples.To provide regular group meeting experiences that focus on support, growth, enrichment and fellowship for couples participating in the mentoring ministry.

Super Saturday 2003

Mentors are Not

PerfectCounselors or TherapistsExpertsFinal AuthoritiesRescuersParent Replacements

Intruders/MeddlersLong Term

Super Saturday 2003

Mentoring Responsibilities

Super Saturday 2003

Mentoring Responsibilities

Walk alongside the nearly-newly

married couple

Provide healthy, realistic role

modelingIdentity Resources

Super Saturday 2003

Mentoring Responsibilities

Describe their own marital journey

difficulties and solutions discovered

“Normalize” disagreement and

conflict

Provide male and female

perspective

Super Saturday 2003

Getting StartedAsk

What is God saying?

Where is God working?

Super Saturday 2003

Getting StartedAsk

What are the needs?What are our resources?

Super Saturday 2003

Getting StartedAsk

What are our objectives?

How do we invite and involve?

Super Saturday 2003

Getting StartedAsk

What actions are taken by whom and when?

How do we celebrate?

Super Saturday 2003

Getting StartedAsk

How do we evaluate?

Super Saturday 2003

Covenant MarriageCovenant Marriage Resources

Covenant Marriage Sunday is the third Sunday in February

www.covenantmarriage.comCovenant Marriage Congregational Kit AvailablePosters,a 38 page Congregational Booklet with information on how to become a Covenant Marriage Congregation and how to prepare to celebrate a Covenant Marriage Sunday in your congregation, Covenant Certificate, Sermon & Bible study Helps, Covenant Marriage Movement Brochures, Covenant Marriage Couple's Brochures, Facts sheets, Commitment Cards, Bulletin Inserts, Resource Sheet/Order Form

Super Saturday 2003

Becoming a Covenant Covenant MarriageMarriage Church