SUBBING FHM Countdown
2
W O R D S : S I C U N N I N G H A M . P H O T O G R A P H Y : R E X 10 THINGS ALL MEN SHOULD DO BEFORE THEY’RE 30 146 JULY 2015 S e e y o u n e x t m o n t h . . . 09 Join a club From fortnightly five-a-side to the weekly Wetherspoons Curry Club, a bit of male bonding gives your life a sense of purpose. Just don’t accidentally join any death cults – you never know what’ll happen at a Warhammer meet-up. 08 Pose for an iconic pic No Facebook profile is Drive something Cruising through M1 roadworks at a steady 50mph for the first time after passing your test? Hell, you might as well be Vin Diesel. Alternatively , if you really want to get out of control, nick one of the vehicles at your local go-karting club and head out for a spin. There it is, you sticking it to The Man. complete without a snap of you dickishly ‘pinching’ the Eiffel Tower, ‘pushing’ the Leaning Tower of Pisa, or covering your bedroom with photos of your ex. Actually, maybe not the last one. 07 Finish The Wire People are only going to keep on asking you, aren’t they? It’s now more acceptable to be a virgin in your 30s than it is to have never seen any of the major HBO sagas, so get on it. See also: Breaking Bad , Lost , anything else that tit at work keeps going on about. 06 Poach an egg properly Be the master of this one fiddly thing in the kitchen and women will forever think you’re some s ort of Gregg ‘I’m tasting strawberries’ Wallace/ Gordon Ramsay sexbot. Clue: vinegar’s the key (to the eggs, not the sex, obviously). 05 Pretend to be a ladyboy Because tucking your bits inside your legs ‘for lols’ is fairly amusing when you’re young, but not so much when you’re 35 and in the changing area of a council swimming pool. 04 ‘Sleep’ on a beach Be it Norfolk or Ayia Napa, nothing puts you more at on e with the elements than having a rave on a beach that goes on until dog walkers find you the next mo rning and assume they’ve found a washed-up corpse – albeit one covered in a mixture of fluorescent paint and Jägermeister. 03 Try wearing whisker s Whether it’s Guido Fawkes face-fuzz or a full-blown bushy beard, only faff with your facial hair wh ile you’re young enou gh to get away with it. Otherwise you’ll resemble the sort of bloke who rummages in bins for used jazz mags. 02 Be a festival idiot It’s a rite of passage to cause a ruckus at Reading or turn a caravan at Download into an all-night dubstep rave. But do it while you’re young and single: no toddler wants to see their dad dancing with a tree at 7am when Glastonbury finished days earlier. 01 Invent something Steve Jobs was 21 when he founded Apple, so get your skates on if you want to invent something that changes the world. Maybe sit under a tree in the hope you discover a successor to gravity. Or go online and steal someone else’s idea. Easy. 10
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Transcript of SUBBING FHM Countdown
7/23/2019 SUBBING FHM Countdown
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/subbing-fhm-countdown 1/1
W O R D S : S I C U N N I N G H A M .
P H O T O G R A P H Y : R E X
10 THINGS ALL MEN SHOULD DO BEFORE THEY’RE 30
146 JULY 2015
S e e y o u n e x t m o n t h . . .
09
Join a club
From fortnightly
five-a-side to the
weekly Wetherspoons
Curry Club, a bit ofmale bonding gives
your life a sense of
purpose. Just don’t
accidentally join any
death cults – you never
know what’ll happen at
a Warhammer meet-up.
08Pose for an iconic pic
No Facebook profile is
Drive something
Cruising through M1 roadworks at a steady
50mph for the first time after passing your
test? Hell, you might as well be Vin Diesel.
Alternatively, if you really want to get out of
control, nick one of the vehicles at your localgo-karting club and head out for a spin. There
it is, you sticking it to The Man.
complete without a
snap of you dickishly
‘pinching’ the Eiffel
Tower, ‘pushing’ the
Leaning Tower of Pisa,
or covering your
bedroom with photosof your ex. Actually,
maybe not the last one.
07Finish The Wire
People are only going
to keep on asking you,
aren’t they? It’s now
more acceptable to be
a virgin in your 30s
than it is to have never
seen any of the major
HBO sagas, so get onit. See also: Breaking
Bad , Lost , anything
else that tit at work
keeps going on about.
06
Poach an egg properly
Be the master of this
one fiddly thing in the
kitchen and women
will forever think you’re some sort of
Gregg ‘I’m tasting
strawberries’ Wallace/
Gordon Ramsay
sexbot. Clue: vinegar’s
the key (to the eggs,
not the sex, obviously).
05
Pretend to be a ladyboy
Because tucking yourbits inside your legs
‘for lols’ is fairly
amusing when you’re
young, but not so
much when you’re 35
and in the changing
area of a council
swimming pool.
04
‘Sleep’ on a beachBe it Norfolk or Ayia
Napa, nothing puts
you more at one with
the elements than
having a rave on a
beach that goes on
until dog walkers find
you the next morning
and assume they’ve
found a washed-up
corpse – albeit one
covered in a mixture
of fluorescent paint
and Jägermeister.
03
Try wearing whiskers
Whether it’s Guido
Fawkes face-fuzz or
a full-blown bushy
beard, only faff with
your facial hair while
you’re young enough
to get away with it.
Otherwise you’llresemble the sort
of bloke who
rummages in bins
for used jazz mags.
02Be a festival idiot
It’s a rite of passage
to cause a ruckus at
Reading or turn a
caravan at Downloadinto an all-night
dubstep rave. But do
it while you’re young
and single: no toddler
wants to see their dad
dancing with a tree at
7am when Glastonbury
finished days earlier.
01Invent somethingSteve Jobs was 21
when he founded
Apple, so get your
skates on if you want
to invent something
that changes the
world. Maybe sit under
a tree in the hope you
discover a successor to
gravity. Or go online
and steal someone
else’s idea. Easy.
10
