Spiritual Emotional Inventory

8/2/2019 Spiritual Emotional Inventory

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The follow ing diagnostic outlines a bib lical basis for a nev .. paradigm ofdiscipleship; i t includes em otional m aturity , but it is done in a personal way.Emot ional health is not m erely an idea to th in k a bo ut. It is an experience for youwhen you are alone and in your close relationship w ith others. Take a few m inutesto reflect on th is simple inventory to get a sense of ..vhere you are as a disciple ofJesus Christ, both as an indiv idual and at church. It w ill help you get a sense ofw hether your disciplineship has touched the em otional com ponents of your lifeand, is so , how much .It 's natural to feel uneasy or uncom fortable about some of the questions. Try to beas vulnerable and open as possib le. Remember that the inventory w ill rev ealnoth ing about you that is new to God. Take a moment to pray that God w ill guideyour responses and to rem ember that you can afford to be honest because he lovesyou d ea rly w ith out c on ditio n.


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E\'IOTIO~AL/SPIRITVAL HEALTH INVENTOR\'Please answer these questions as honestly as possib le, lise the follow ing scoringmethod:1= not v ery true ', 2= sometimes true: 3""'mostlv true: 4= verv true

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Part A . General Formation and D iscipleship1. I feel confident of my adoption as G od's son/daughter

a nd r ar ely , ifever, questions his acceptance of m e. .2 3 42. I lov e to worship God by myself as well as w ith others, 2 3 43 . I spend quality , regular tim e in the W ord of God and in

prayer. 2 3 44 . I sense the unique ways God has gifted me indiv idually

and am actively using m y spiritual g ifts for his serv ice. ') 3 45 , I am a v i ta l p a rt ic ip a te in a com munity w ith other

believers, 23 46, It is clear that my money, gifts, tim e and abilities are

completely at God's disposal and not my own. 234

7, 1 consistently in tegrate m y faith in the marketp lace andthe w orld , 2 3 4

T otal P oints

Part B . Emotional Components of D iscip leshipI . II 's easy for m e to identify what I am fee ling inside,

(John 11 :33-35; Luke 19: 41 -44), ') 3 4") I am wiling [0 explore prev iously unknown orb l -" l' n . C "n acce pta ....e p al ~ 3 0 1 r;._ 1y seu, 2.. row : ng !lr151 to more

full y transform me(Rom ans 7::1 -:5 : Proverbs 5:18-19:Luke 10 :21 ), ') 3 . :+


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'. I enjo) being alone in quite reflection with God and m~ self.(M ark ] :35; Luke 6: ]2). I ., J - +

4. ] ca n share freely about mv emotions, sexuality, joy, pain.(Psalrn Z l; P ro verb s 5:1819; Luke 10 :21). 2 3 - l

). I 3l~1unable to experience and deal w ith anger in a way thatleads to grow th in others and myself.(E ph esia ns 4 :2 5-3 2). ' ) 3 .: I

6. I am honest w ith myself (and a few significant others)about the feelings, beliefs, doubts, pains, and hUl1Sbeneath th e surface of my life.(Psalm 73:88; Jerem iah 20:718,). 134

Total P oints

Principle 2: Break the Power of the Past7. I resolve conflict in a clear, direct, and respectful way,

not what I might have learned grow ing u p in m y family,such as painful putdowns, avoidance, e sc ala tin g te nsio ns,or going to a third party rather than to the person directly.(Matthew 18:1518). 2 3 4 -

8. 1 am intentional at working through the impact ofsignificant "earthquake" events that shaped my present,such as death of a fam ily member, an unexpected pregnancydivorce, addiction, or a major financial disaster(G en esis 5 0:1 0: Psalm 51). ") 3 4

9 I am able to thank God for all my p ast li fe e xp er ien ces,seeing how he has used them to uniquely shape me intowho I am .(G enesis 50 :20 : R0n13l'!S 8 : 2 8 3 0 I. -,,)4


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10. I can see how certain "generational sins" have been passeddown to me through my family history, including characterflaws, lies, secrets, ways of coping with pain, and unhealthytendencies in relating to others.(Exodus 20:5; compare Genesis 20:2; 26:7; 27:1 9; 3 7:1 -3 3), ') 3 4

II . I don't' need approval from others to feel good about myself(Proverbs 29:25; Galatians 1:10). 234

12. I take responsibility and ownership for my past life ratherthan to blame others.(John 5:5-7). 234

Principle 3: Live in Brokenness & Vulnerability13. I often admit when I'm wrong, readily asking forgiveness

from others(Matthew 5:23-24). 1 2 '" 4J

14. I am' able to speak freely about my weaknesses, failures,and mistakes.(II Corinthians 12:7~12). 2 .. , 4J

15. Others would easily describe me as approachable, gentle.open, and transparent.(Galatians 5:22-23: I Corinthians 13:1-6). 2 "1 4J

16. Those close to me would say that I am not easily offendedor hurt.(Matthew 5:39: I Corinthians 13:5). ') . . . 4. . ,)

17. r am consistently open to hearing and applying constructivecriticism and feedback. that others might have for me.(Proverbs 10:17; 17:10; 25:12) 2 ., 4J

18. I am rarely judgmental or critical of others,(Matthew 7:1-5), ') ., 4J

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19. O thers wouid sav that I am slow to sp ea k, q uic k to l isten,and good at seeing things from their perspectiv e.(James 1:19-20). 234

T ota l P ointsP rincip le 4 : Receive the G ift of L im its20 . I'v e never been accused of "try ing to do it all" or of biting

off more than I could chew .(M atthew 4: 1 -1 1). 7 .. . 4J

21 . I am regularly able to say "no" to requests andopportunities than risk ov erextending m yself.(M a rk 6 :3 0-3 2). 2 . ., 4J

21 . I recognize the different situations w here my unique,God-given personality can be either a help orhin dra nc e in re sp on din g a pp ro pr ia te ly .(Psalm 139; Rom ans 12:3 ; I Peter4 :10). 2 . ., 4)

23. lr 's easy for m e to distinguish the difference betw eenwhen to help carry someone else 's burden (Galatians 6 :2)and w hen to le t it go so they can carry their own burden(G ala tia ns 6 :5 ). 7 .. , 4)

24. I have a good sense of my em oti on al , r ela tio na l, p hy sic al,and spiritual capacities, in tentionally pulling back to restand fill my "gas tank" again .(M a rk 1 :2 1-3 9). 2 . . , . : j .)

25. Those close to m e would say that I am good at balancingfamily, rest, work, and play in a biblical way,(E xo du s 2 0:8 ). ') .. , - 4- .J

T otal P oints

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Princip le 5 : Em brace G riev ing & Loss

26. I openly adm it E1Y lo sse s a nd d is ap po in tm e nts .(Psalm 3 :1 -8 ; 5 :1 -1 2). I ~ ,IJ "'T2 7, W hen I g o t hr ou gh a disappoin tm ent or a loss, I reflect

on how I'm feeling rather than pretend that nothing iswrong.(I I Samue l 1 :4 , 1 7-2 7; Psalm 51:1-17) . 2 .. , 4

28. I take time to grieve my losses as David (Psalm 69) andJesus d id (M a tthew 26:39; John 1 1 : 35 ; 1 2:2 7). ') . ., 4

29. People who are in grea t pain and sorrow tend to seek m eout because it's c lear to them that Im in touch w ith thelosses and 50170\V5 in my 0\\'11 l ife.(I I Corinthians 1 : 3 - 7 ) . 1 2 ' " 4

30. I am able to cry and exper ience depression or sadness,explore the reasons beh ind it, and allow God to workin m e through it.(P salm 42; M a tthew 26:36-46). 1 2 3 4

T otal P oin ts

Make Incarnation Your Model for Loving Well31 . I am regu larly able to en ter into o ther peop le 's w orld

and feelings, connecting deep ly w ith them and tak ingtim e to im agine what if feels like to live in th eirshoes .(John 1 :1 -14; I1 Corinthians 8:9; Phi l ippians 2:3-5). ') 3 4

32 . People close to m e would describe m e as a responsiv elistener.(P rov erbs 1 9: 11 ; James 1 :19) . J 3 4

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33. 1 h ave a healthy sense o f who [ am , where I'v e com efrom , and what are my v alu es, l ik es: p assio ns, d islik es:and so on.(John 13:3). 2 ~ 4

34 . 1 am able to accept m yself just the way [ am .(John 13:1-3; Romans 12:3). I ~ 4

35 . J am able to f 0 1 1 1 1 deep rela tionships w ith people fromd iffe re nt b ack gr ou nd s: cu ltu res, rac es, ed uc atio nal,e co nom ic c la ss es.(John 4:1-26; Acts 10-11). ') ., 4

36. People close to me 'would say that I suffer w ith those whosuffer and rejo ice w ith those who rejoice.(R om ans 1 2: 15). 2 " 4

37. I am good about inv iting people to adjust and correct myprev ious assum ptions about them .(Proverbs 20 :5; C olossians 3 : 1 2-14). 2 ., 4

38 . W hen I confron t som eone who has hur t o r w ronged me,I speak m ore in the first person ("I" & "m e") about howI am feeling rather than speak in b lam ing tones ("you"or "they) about what w as done.(P rov erb s 25 : 1 1; E phesians 4:2 9-32). 2 . , 4

39 . I rarely judge o thers qu ick ly bu t instead am a peacemakera nd r ec on ci le r.(M a tthew 7: 1 -5 ). 2 . . , 4

40 . People would descr ibe m e as som eone who m akes "lay ingwel l" my number one aim .(John 13:34-35 : I C orinth ians 13). 2 3 4

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For each group of questions do the follow ing: Add your answers to get the to tal for that group. W rite your totals on

the top portion of each fraction to tal in th e g ro up .

QuestionsPart A 1-7General Formation & Discipleship

Part B

Principle 1- Look Beneath the Surface 1-6 1 2 4Principle 2- Break the Power of the Past 7 - 12 124Principle 3-Live in Brokenness & Vulnerability 13-19 /2 8Principle 4- Accept the Gift of Limits 20-25 12 4Principle 5- Embrace Grieving and Loss 26-30 noPrinciple 6- Make Incarnation Your Model

fo r Loving Well 31-40 14 0

1 2 8

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Below plot your scores from pans A & B in th e s pa ce giv en below .Connect each dot plotted to access your level of emotional maturity.

EmotionalAdul t

EmotionalAdolescent

Emot ionalChild

EmotionalInfant

A287~_)

17

12

7

P l P2 P4 P5 P6328 24 2 8 24 20 4020 20 j" 20 1 7 30j

15 15 17 1 5 13 23

lO 10 12 10 9 16

6 6 7 6 5 9

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Interpretation Guide: Levels of Emotional Maturity

Emotional Infant: L ike a physical infant, I look for other people to take care ofme m ore than Iook to care for them . I often have difficulty in describing andexperiencing my feelings in healthy w ays and rarely enter the em otional w orld ofothers . 1 am consistently dr iv en . by a need for instant gratification, often usingothers as objects to meet my needs, and am unaware of hO \\1 my behav ior iseffecting/hurting them . People sometim es perceive me as inconsiderate,i ns en si ti v e , a nd s el f- cen te re d .Emotional Children: L ike a physical ch ild , when life is go ing my way and Imreceiv ing all the things I w ant and need, I am conten t and seem em otionally wellad justed. H ow ev er, as soon as disappointm ent, stress, tragedy, or anger enters thepicture, I quickly unravel inside. I in terpret disagreem ents as a personal offenseand am easily hurt by others. W hen I don 't get my way, I often complain, throwan em otional tantrum , w ithdraw , m anipulate, drag m y feet, becom e sarcastic, ortake revenge. I have difficulty calm ly discussing w ith others what I w ant andexpect from them in a m ature and lov ing way.Em otional adolescent: L ike a physical adolescent, I know the right w ays I shouldbehave in order to t'fit in" m ature, adult society. I can feel th reatened and alarm edinside when I am offered constructive criticism , quickly becom e defensive. Isubconsciously keep records on the love I give out, so I can ask for som eth ing inreturn later . W hen I am in conflict, I m ight adm it some fault in the matter, but Iw ill insist on dem onstrating the guile of the other party, prov ing why they arem ore to b lam e. B ecause of m y com mitm ent to self-surv ival, I have trouble reallylistening to another person 's pain, disappoin tm ents, o r needs w ithout becom ingp re oc cu pie d w ith m yse lf.Em otional adults: I can respect and love others w ithout hav ing to change them orbecom ing critical and Judgm ental. I do not expect anyone to be perfect in m eetingmy relational needs, w hether it is my spo\lse, parents, fr iends, boss or pastor . Ilove and appreciate people for who they are as whole ind iv iduals, the good andthe bad , and not for what they can give me or how they behave. I takere sp on sib ility fo r my ow n thoughts, feelings, goals and actions. 'N11en understress, I do not fall into a v ictim mentality or a blame game, I can state my ownbeliefs and values to those w ho disagree w ith m e- w ithout becom ing adversar ial. Iam able to accurately self-assess my lim its, strengths, an d w eaknesses an d freely

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discuss them with others. Deeply in tune with my own emotions and feelings, 1can move into the emotional worlds of others, meeting them at the place of theirfeelings. needs; and concerns. r am deeply conv inced that 1 am absolutely lovedb y Christ that 1 have nothing to prove.

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Spiritual Emotional Inventory

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