Sever by Lauren DeStefano

7/30/2019 Sever by Lauren DeStefano

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i

must

lose myself

in action,


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in despair.

Alfr

ed,

LordTenn

yson

wither

le

sti


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In the atlas he river sill ws. the hinline i carries carg a desinain ha n lnger

exiss. We share a name, he river and I; i heres a rea-

sn r his, i died wih my parens. the river lingers in

my daydreams, hugh. I imagine i spreading u in

he greaness he cean, meling in sunken ciies,

carrying ld messages in bles.

I have wased much ime n his page. Really I

shuld be in Nrh America, charing my way rm he

lrida casline Prvidence, Rhde Island, where

my win brher has jus bmbed a hspial r is pr-

science research n embrys.

I dn knw hw many are dead because him.

Linden shis his weigh reslessly. I didn even knw

yu had a brher, hed said when I ld him where I was

ging. Bu he lis hings I dn knw abu yu is

grwing lnger every day, isn i?


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auren eStefanoDL

Hes bier. Abu ur marriage and he way i ended.

Abu he way is n really ver.

My siser wie lks u he windw, her hair like

ligh hrugh auumn leaves. Is ging rain, she

says quiely. Shes here nly a my insisence. My nce-

husband sill desn quie believe she was in danger in

his ahers, Vaughns, hme. or maybe he des believe

i; Im n sure, because hes barely speaking me hese

days, excep ask hw Im eeling and ell me Ill

be discharged rm he hspial sn. I shuld cnsider

mysel lucky; ms he paiens here are crammed in

he lbbies r a dzen a rm, and has i heyre n

urned away. I have cmr and privacy. Hspializain

his class is reserved r he wealhy, and i jus s

happens ha my aher-in-law wns nearly every medical

aciliy in he sae lrida.

Because here is never enugh bld r ransusins,

and because I ls s much i when I sawed in my

leg in a maddened delirium, i k me a lng ime

recver. And nw ha my bld has regeneraed, hey

wan ake i a bi a a ime and analyze i be sure Im

recvering. theyre under he assumpin ha my bdy

didn respnd Vaughns aemps rea he virus;

Im n sure wha exacly he ld hem, bu he has a way

being everywhere wihu being presen.

I have an ineresing bld ype, hey say. they wuldn

have been able nd a mach even i mre peple dnaed

heir bld r he meager pay he hspial gives.


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Cecily menined he rain disrac Linden rm

he nurse wh has jus serilized my arm. Bu i desn

wrk. Lindens green eyes are rained n my bld as i

lls up he syringe. I hld he alas in my blankeed lap,

urn he page.

I nd my way back Nrh Americahe nly

cninen has le, and even i isn whle; here are

uninhabiable pieces wha used be knwn as

Canada and Mexic. there used be an enire wrld

peple and cunries u here, bu heyve all since

been desryed by wars s disan heyre hardly spken

abu.

Linden? Cecily says, uching his arm.

He urns his head her, bu desn lk.

Linden, she ries again. I need ea smehing.

Im geing a headache.

this ges his aenin because she is ur mnhs

pregnan and prne anemia. Wha wuld yu like,

lve? he says.

I saw brwnies in he caeeria earlier.

He rwns, ells her she shuld be eaing hings wih

mre susenance, bu ulimaely succumbs her puing.

once he has le my hspial rm, Cecily sis n he

edge my bed, ress her chin n my shulder, and lks

a he page. the nurse leaves us, my bld n his car

surgical uensils.

this is he rs ime Ive been alne wih my siser

wie since arriving a he hspial. She races he uline


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auren eStefanoDL

he cunry, swirls her nger arund he Alanic in

andem wih her sigh.

Linden is urius wih me, she says, n wihu

remrse, bu als n in her usual weepy way. He says

yu culd have been killed.

I spen mnhs in Vaughns basemen labrary,

he subjec cunless experimens, while Linden

bliviusly milled abu upsairs. Cecily, wh visied me

and alked helping me escape, never ld him abu

any i.

I isn he rs ime she berayed me; hugh, as wih

he las ime, I believe ha she was rying help. She

wuld bch Vaughns experimens by remving IVs and

ampering wih he equipmen. I hink her gal was

ge me lucid enugh walk u he back dr. Bu Cecily

is yung a ureen years ld, and desn undersand

ha ur aher-in-law has plans much bigger han her

bes efrs. Neiher us sands a chance agains him.

Hes even had Linden believing him r all hese years.

Sill, I ask, Why didn yu ell Linden?

She draws a shaky breah and sis mre uprigh. I

lk a her, bu she wn mee my eyes. N waning

inimidae her wih guil, I lk a he pen alas.

Linden was s hearbrken when yu le, she says.

Angry, bu sad, . He wuldn alk abu i. He clsed

yur dr and rbade me rm pening i. He spped

drawing. He spen s much ime wih me and wih

Bwen, and I lved ha, bu I culd ell i was because


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he waned rge yu. She akes a deep breah, urns

he page.

We sare a Suh America r a ew secnds. then

she says, And, evenually, he sared ge beer. He

was alking abu aking me he spring exp has

cming up. then yu came back, and I hugh, i he

saw yu, i wuld und all he prgress hed made. Nw

she lks a me, her brwn eyes sharp. And yu didn

wan be back, anyway. S I hugh I culd ge yu

escape again, and he wuld never have knw, and we

culd all jus be happy.

She says ha las wrd, happy, like is he dires

hing in he wrld. Her vice cracks wih i. A year ag,

here is where shed have sared cry. I remember ha

n my las day bere I ran away, I le her screaming

and weeping in a snwbank when she realized hw

shed berayed ur lder siser wie, Jenna, by elling ur

aher-in-law Jennas efrs help me escape, which

nly aided his decisin dispse her.

Bu Cecily has grwn since hen. Having a child and

enduring he lss n ne bu w members her

marriage have aged her.

Linden was righ, she says. Yu culd have been

killed, and I She swallws hard, bu desn ake her

eyes rm mine. I wuldn have been able rgive

mysel. Im srry, Rhine.

I wrap my arm arund her shulders, and she leans

agains me.


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auren eStefanoDL

Vaughn is dangerus, I say in her ear. Linden

desn wan believe i, bu I hink yu d.

I knw, she says.

Hes racking yur every mve he way he racked

me.

I knw.

He killed Jenna.

I knw. I knw ha.

Dn le Linden alk yu in rusing him, I say.

Dn pu yursel in a siuain where yure alne

wih him.

Yu can run away, bu I can, she says. thas my

hme. Is all I have.

Linden clears his hra in he drway. Cecily bunds

him and ups hersel n ipes kiss him when she

akes he brwnie rm his hand. then she unwraps

is plasic. She seles in a chair and prps her swllen

ee up n he windw ledge. She has a way ignring

Lindens hins abu waning be alne wih me. I was

a minr annyance in ur marriage, bu righ nw is a

relie. I dn knw wha Linden wans say me, nly

ha his dgeing means he wans i be in privae, and

Im dreading i.

I wach as Cecily nibbles he edges he brwnie and

duss crumbs f her shirrn. Shes aware Lindens

reslessness, bu she als knws he wn ask her leave.

Because shes pregnan, and because shes he nly wie

le wh s genuinely adres him.


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Linden picks up he skechbk he abandned n a

chair, sis, and ries busy himsel lking hrugh his

building designs. I sr eel srry r him. He has never

been auhriaive enugh ask r wha he wans. Even

hugh I knw his cnversain hes iching have will

leave me eeling guily and miserable, I we him his much.

Cecily, I say.

Mm? she says, and crumbs all rm her lips.

Leave us alne r a ew minues.

She glances a Linden, wh lks a her and desn

bjec, and hen back me.

ine, she sighs. I have pee anyway.

Aer she leaves, clsing he dr behind her, Linden

shus his nebk. thanks, he says.

I push mysel uprigh, smh he shees ver my

highs, and nd, aviding his eyes. Wha is i? I ask.

theyre leing yu u mrrw, he says, aking

he sea by my bed. D yu have any sr plan?

I was never gd a plans, I say. Bu Ill gure i

u.

Hw will yu nd yur brher? he says. Rhde

Island is hundreds miles away.

one husand hree hundred miles, I say. Rughly.

Ive been reading up n i.

He rwns. Yure sill recvering, he says. Yu

shuld res r a ew days.

I migh as well ge mving. I clse he alas. I have

nwhere else g.


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auren eStefanoDL

Yu knw ha isn rue, he says. Yu have a He

hesiaes. A place say.

He was ging say hme.

I dn answer, and he silence is lled wih all he

hings Linden wans say. Phanm wrds, ghss ha

haun he pieces dus swimming in beams ligh.

or, he sars up again. there is anher pin. My

uncle.

tha ges me lk a him, maybe inquisiively,

because he seems amused. My aher diswned him years

ag, when I was very yung, he says. Im suppsed

preend he desn exis, bu he desn live ar rm

here.

Hes yur ahers brher? I say, skepical.

Jus hink abu i, Linden says. Hes a lile srange,

bu Rse liked him. He says ha las par wih a laugh,

and his cheeks ligh up wih pink, and I srangely eel

beer.

She me him? I ask.

Jus nce, Linden says. We were n ur way a

pary, and she leaned ver he drivers sea and said, Im

sick hese bring hings. take us anywhere else. S

I gave he driver my uncles address, and we spen he

evening here, eaing he wrs cfee crumb cake wed

ever ased.

Is he rs ime since her deah ha hes brugh up

Rse wihu wincing a he pain.

And he ac ha my aher haes him jus made my


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uncle ha much mre appealing her, Linden ges

n. Hes pr-nauralism r my ahers ase, and

admiedly a lile srange. Ive had keep i a secre

ha I visi wih him.

Linden has a rebellius side. Wh knew. He reaches

u and ucks my hair behind my ear. Is dne u

habi, and he jerks his hand back when he realizes his

misake.

Srry, he mumbles.

Is all righ, I say. Ill hink abu i. My wrds are

cming u as, bumbling. Wha yu said I mean

Ill hink abu i.

Sever by Lauren DeStefano

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