Say It Just Right

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Page 1: Say It Just Right

Say It Just Right

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Say What You Want to Say

With Confidence

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Open-Ended Questions

Whenever I have something to say, I usually what do you usually do? People who always say what they think,

make me. . .how do these people make you feel? Confrontations with others cause me to. . .do

you love conflict or do you shy away?. . .

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Define conflict Distinguish what to

do when Learning Stance—

Three C’s SIJR Model

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Change? Who can you Change? Curiosity—Genuine

stance Compassion—

Genuine concern for the other

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Behavior that TransmitsMeaning from Sender to




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Types of Communication

Visual 55%

Vocal 38%

Verbal 7%

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Vocal Exercise

I didn’t say he stole the money

I didn’t say he stole the money

I didn’t say he stole the money

I didn’t say he stole the

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Openly Aggressive

Passive Aggressive



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Aggressive BehaviorsI’m Okay, You’re Not

Demanding Angry Condescending Threatening Blaming Controlling

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Passive BehaviorsYou’re Okay, I’m Not

WithdrawsWalks Away Holds Feelings Inside Doesn’t Talk Becomes Depressed Suffers

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Passive Aggressive Behaviors

Complains Backstabs Gossips Loud Nonverbals Doesn’t Follow Through PoutsMartyrdom

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Assertive BehaviorsI’m Okay, You’re Okay

Problem Solving Disclosing Information Giving Checking Interdependency/Team Player Negotiating Directing LISTENING!!!!

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Communicate with Confidence

To know what you’re thinking and feeling and to be able to say it just right.

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Say It Just Right™ Model

Decision Points--Costs--Limits--Power

Specify Problem Invite the Other to Talk Join Feeling with Fact Resolve the Problem

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Put-Off Distracting Denying Blaming Joking Reinterpreting

“Poor Me” Negative-vibes Apologizing Threatening Debating Procrastinating

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Ways to Counter Detours

Persist Disagree Emphasize Feelings Agree. . .but State consequences

Dismiss Redefine Answer Fast Question/probe