Sample Copy. Not For Distribution.iii Beyond The Veil The Journey of An Indian Girl Siddhi Palande...
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Beyond The Veil
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Beyond The Veil
The Journey of An Indian Girl
Siddhi Palande
(Prasiddhi)
EDUCREATION PUBLISHING (Since 2011)
www.educreation.in
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Writer’s Note
Moral police might find this novella against their norms
but for a pious soul, who knows the meaning of “being,”
has understanding of spirituality, this is a beautiful love
story. It will redefine the word „soul mate‟
Emancipation of soul may sound like a catch phrase
these days but it holds the understanding of universe
within itself. If you understand it, you not only liberate
your being but many troubled souls will find liberation
through you. I have introduced one such soul in this
novella.
Janhvi will help Ram meet his destiny. It is Divine,
love is. Despite a disrupted life both will find eternity of
peace like you have never seen before.
This book is based on a true incident albeit the
characters have been fictionalized.
o
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Acknowledgment
I took it to heart to write down this novella solely to
forget the grief my father‟s death had caused. I had
delivered a beautiful baby girl and only a few days later
my father's soul found solace in a place far serene. And I
guess his eternal being seems to have guided me to pen
this novel. It was a painstaking task, especially if you
have a month old baby to look after and if your previous
novel writing attempts have turned futile.
I thank my father, Ramesh Palande, because he has
always believed in my abilities and encouraged me
throughout my life. My mother, Pushpalata Palande, has
been my backbone. If it were not for her I wouldn‟t have
completed this novel. My brother, Omkar Palande, who
showed faith in me despite our bitter-sweet quarrels and
also because he has stood solid like a rock for my family
after the tragedy hit us. And I can‟t thank God enough
for bestowing upon me a supporting husband, Prafull
Baing (Patil), who invested in my work despite not
having read the novel. Lastly, I thank my loving family,
Palande and Baing (Patil), this wouldn‟t have been
possible if they hadn‟t motivated me with every article
that I wrote.
Forever and always I will be thankful to my
adorable munchkin Rudrani for having beared me and
my erratic writing schedules.
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PS: My political thoughts are diverse from that of
my father. His political views were fairly and honestly
his.
o
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“I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to
men. They are far superior and always have been.
Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If
you give her sperm, she will give you a baby. If you give
her a house, she will give you a home. If you give her
groceries, she will give you a meal. If you give her a
smile, she will give you her heart. She multiplies and
enlarges what is given to her.”
-William Golding
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Prologue
October, 1998
The October heat was too much to bear. Janhvi sat on her
grandfather‟s lap in the veranda of her ancestral house
basking in the sunny afternoon. Looking up at the sky
trying to make out the shape the passing clouds carved,
she asked her Pappi, dazed and dreamy, “What does
Janhvi mean, Pappi?”
“Why do you ask, beta?”
“My peers tease me that I do not know the meaning
of my name,” said the 8-year-old.
“Your name is very auspicious, Janu. It means our
sacred river Ganga. She is the one who purifies our
souls.”
“But Pappi, Miss Karnad told me that water
pollution is killing Ganga. It‟s poisonous and dirty.”
“Indeed, it is so. She is repenting for our sins, my
child. She keeps taking in all the dirt we throw at her,
just like a mother would. It is, therefore, our duty not to
malign her.”
“Was Ganga ever married, Pappi?
“Yes, she was…but it never worked out. She left for
the better.”
“Better of who?”
“Of the world and the society.”
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“Will I ever get to live like Ganga.”
“Perhaps you will. You will only have to learn to
make your own choices.”
o
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W 15 October, 2014
At age 24, I realize how difficult it can be to make
those choices Pappi had cited when I was eight. I have
been bugged by my parents to find a match for myself.
But it won‟t be my choice. You see I live in India, the
country of age old traditions and customs, where arrange
marriage is revered and where we, independent and
rational thinking women, do not get to choose our mate.
Pre-marital sex is a taboo and so is extra-marital affair.
We are shamed and laughed at if a widow remarries or
doesn‟t give a f**k about societal norms. Sita, Savitri,
Durga, Kali, Saraswati are worshipped but many of us
are burnt alive for dowry. We have no qualms if Kalpana
Chawla or Sunita Williams travels to space, but
travelling alone at midnight is restricted.
Welcome to my world, I live in a double standard
society.
You might think I am venting my anger or showing
off my oh-so-feminist side, „naari mukti morcha,‟ you
say? But no, this just isn‟t about us, women. It is about
multiple things. We are sold every day, burnt every day,
Chapter 1
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Beyond The Veil
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our aspirations are crushed and we are forced to thrive on
the orders of our elders who fail to understand that
perhaps if we change the course of our actions, we can
bring about major changes in the society. You see, I do
not have problem with the society I live in, I have fairly
adapted myself to it, but I sure do have a problem with
its thinking.
Today is perhaps the only day when I will get to say
these things. Because if by chance my fate decides to do
this somersault I might be entrapped in a life-long mess
called „marriage.‟ There are people waiting outside to
judge me. They will ask me to sing, to eat, to smile, to
laugh and walk just to ensure that I am not a defective
piece. Yes, just so that they know that Janhvi Desai, MA,
LLB, isn‟t crippled or perhaps, a mutant. I am not sure if
they will ever know that I am indeed a mutant, well, deep
within, but they can certify that everything else works
just fine with me.
Having done my pleats I walk up to the mirror and
look at my image. No jeans or messy bun, I am decked
up in a zari embroidered red and green bandhini saree,
bejeweled enough to make your eyes sparkle. So very
like a….
“My Princess,” says Mom as she looks on from the
doorway of my room.
“No aama, I look like a Christmas tree,” now that‟s
what I was thinking before my mom interrupted my
thoughts.
“Oh, shut up.” She dismisses my comment with her
signature wave. “They are waiting for you.” She
continues. “Make sure you behave yourself. Even when
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you are alone with Ram. And try your best to woo this
guy. He is a catch!”
“Is he?” I ask.
“Sure. An engineer with TCS. He has fair chances
of flying abroad. Think of the bright future you will
have. Think of the brighter future you can give your
children.”
“Aama, puhlease! I haven‟t even met him yet and
you want me to woo him and envision our children.
What am I? A time traveller?”
“Be done with your brashness, I am warning you,
Janhvi! Be a nice girl. You have to stand up to the
reputation of your family. Think how ashamed your
father will be, the Gurukant Desai. Do you want to spoil
our name in the society?”
What do you say to this? I don‟t know really. I am
forced to do as told.
o
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Beyond The Veil
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W 25 October, 2014
You would have been thinking, whatever happened
after that age-old lecture my Mom gave? Was Janhvi
Desai, daughter of Gurukant Desai, able to reject the
match? Certainly not. Which girl out there has won the
fight against her parents? Which girl out there has won
her fight against society? We have been trampled for
ages, made to do society‟s bidding, how then can a law
graduate escape from the societal pressure?
I did meet Ram that day. He seemed like a pleasant
guy. Yes, he was a total marriage material and agreed to
my conditions. Of course, I put in conditions that my
parents are unaware of. Ram was gracious enough to
hide the same from our parents. Once we came out of my
den, he declared, much like my knight in shining armour,
that he has no issues with me being a working woman.
An eerie hush fell in the room. Faces of my in-laws,
ahem, would-be in-laws, and that of my parents were
forlorn. Disappointment trickled from their face. My
heart did a little victory dance as I saw them. I wanted to
hug Ram then and there but the society!
Chapter 2
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Siddhi Palande (Prasiddhi)
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Damn with it.
So in the next round of meetings it was declared
that I and Ram will be engaged in the month of
December and engagement will be followed by wedding.
Which means, we have no time for courting. But who
cares. I and Ram have become fast friends and I truly
like him. We often talk on Whatsapp, Facebook and
Skype whenever we have time. We understand the
importance of giving space to each other and Ram says
that we ought not to tell our private matters to our
family. What happens between us stays between us. I am
not sure about his feelings for me, I really can‟t decipher
them. He is friendly. Period. I can‟t see a trace of desire
or love when he looks at me. It hurts sometimes but
arrange marriage it is, what can I expect. Things will fall
in place I feel. I dare not rush. So far this chat-phase has
been enticing enough and I hope the next phase is
equally delightful.
Meanwhile, I have been wrapping up my stuff. I
will be shifting base to Mumbai soon. The city is packed
with opportunities that Baroda fails to give. It is,
therefore, I have been applying to various law firms. You
see I simply graduated from law college and landed this
match. I was given no time to think or earn. Earning is a
taboo, independence is a taboo. I guess, being a girl in
this society is equally a taboo. Anyways, my deal with
Ram is final. In fact, he was the one who advised that I
start applying for an internship or trainee program
available in a Mumbai based law firm. It is rather
difficult to find something suitable online but technology
has made matters simple. Why, just this morning I gave
an interview with Innoves Law, I am not sure if it is
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Beyond The Veil
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closer to where I shall be staying but Ram says it‟s in
suburbs and that I should probably try to find something
suitable in SoBo. Whatever does that mean?
Anyway, I am truly excited for my life ahead. Who
doesn‟t wish to marry a mature guy who is willing to
take you as you are. Ram doesn‟t want me to change a
thing about myself. Guess what? He is okay if I wear
jeans and tees instead of Punjabi suits and sarees. Good
Lord bless him! I would have been devastated if I was
forced to give up my avatar. It‟s just so not done. I
wonder how hundreds of girls out there survive these
maniacal practises.
Is kitchen our only world? Do we not have any right
to live? Why then did my Pappi teach me about making
choices? Was Ganga, the only lady to have made a sane
choice? Walking out on marriage is insane? Or is it only
in stories do we find freedom?
o
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Siddhi Palande (Prasiddhi)
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W 1 November, 2014
I am overwhelmed. I am totally overwhelmed with
emotions. As the days turn into nights and nights into
days, my anxiety increases. Mom has been giving me
lessons on being a good wife. So far I have been a brat of
a kid but now, things will change, she says. I will have to
do my husband‟s bidding.
I see a pattern here, do you?
Well, forget it.
Earlier today, Ram gave me a run through of his
schedule in Mumbai. He works in Bandra, he says. It‟s
sort of in suburb but it is “much classier.” That‟s what he
said. He said, I could find a law firm in Bandra and that
will make commuting easier for me as I can leave along
with him. He usually leaves for office at 8:00 am from
Churchgate. He takes a Mumbai local fast and alights at
Bandra, exactly an hour later. But he doesn‟t leave
office early. He says he likes to work late. He often goes
out with his friends.
“The nightlife in Mumbai is rocking,” he told me.
“Of course, our parents don‟t have to know that clubbing
Chapter 3
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Beyond The Veil
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is a part of our social life. We can keep it undercovers. I
have been doing that ever since I was in Pune for my
education.” When I told him I have never been to a club,
he wasn‟t really shocked. He told me, “our system is to
be blamed.” We argued for over an hour that having a
nightlife doesn‟t necessarily mean we are forward
thinking individuals.
Ram thinks having a nightlife is equivalent to
nirvana. I don‟t think so. Skimpy skirts and tees, trance
music, booze and drugs may give you high, it may be
entertaining but it certainly isn‟t nirvana. It‟s one‟s way
of life. Bachelors living in metropolitans think of it as
nirvana as it is their sole solace to socialize. We have
burdened ourselves with stress, the work keeps on piling
and it is difficult enough to lift our head from the heap of
mess surrounding our desks. Well, not that I have
experienced it but the scenario is no different from my
description. In short, life in metros is hectic.
Coming back to present day, Ram told me he has
been dedicating a lot of his time to turn his bachelor pad
into a house fit for couples. He has planned to tear down
the wallpapers and redo the walls. Do some gardening in
balcony. The house is quite spacious compared to the
common Mumbai standards. It is a two bedroom-hall-
kitchen flat in a “posh” SoBo vicinity called Colaba. Its
proximity to the sea, Gateway Of India, Causeway and
other such locations makes it a catch, according to Ram.
Its spread over 1200 square feet and every room has a
balcony. Its extremely scenic. I saw it on Skype. Ram
gave me a detour.
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Siddhi Palande (Prasiddhi)
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I guess, I am falling in love with the city already. And
my house too. And somewhat Ram too…
o
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Beyond The Veil
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W 19 November, 2014
I can‟t grasp what is going on around me. Pops has
been busy gathering money for my wedding. He says we
ought to give the groom‟s family handsome gifts. Our
reputation should not be hampered. We must live upto
our ancestral repute. He means that he is collating money
for my dowry but the word is abandoned in India. Taking
dowry is a punishable offense and yet gifts become an
important part of every marriage. It is like we are sold
but here the sellers have to pay the price for having given
birth to a daughter. This system bugs me every single
minute. But am I able to shit on it? No. I can‟t mess with
it no matter how shitty the situation gets.
Anyway, so Pops told Mom that he would be
withdrawing from his FDs and he has saved up some in
the last sales season. (My father is a partner in our
ancestral saree business, you see.) So my jewelries can
be made out of that money. However, we would need to
buy at least 20 odd sets of necklace for my in-laws‟
family. It will include all the maternal and paternal
relatives of Ram.
Chapter 4
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Siddhi Palande (Prasiddhi)
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