Remember Me as You Pass By

8/9/2019 Remember Me as You Pass By

1/16

"Remember Me As You Pass By"Most people who are familiar with old American gravestones know the old verse,Remember me as you pass by,

As you are now, so once was I, As I am now, so you must be,

Prepare for death and follow me.n my mind, have always associated that verse with the oldest of !ew ngland gravestones# the ones covered with imps and hourglasses and scythe#wielding skeletons$ t %ust seemslike a Puritan#with#a#capital#P sort of sentiment$ &ouglas 'eister, author of Stories in

Stone: A Field Guide to Cemetery Symbolism and Iconography , tells us that this verse,"and its variants are the most common ones found on (olonial !ew ngland gravestones")*+ -$ 'eister is not alone in this opinion$

Yet, have not been able to find this verse on a *.th# or early#*/th#century gravestoneanywhere in !orth America$ 0he oldest American e1ample can find dates from *.. , butthe transcription makes it hard to tell whether the verse appears on a %oint stone erected in*./2 or two side#by#side stones erected in *.. and *./2$ A variant lacking the "prepare for

death" line can be found on the lisha &oane gravestone )*.34- in 5ellfleet, MA)transcription here -$ 0he Ben%amin 6cudder stone in 5estfield, !ew 7ersey, sometimescited as an early e1ample )*.2/-, is actually from *.4/ )see editor8s note here and Ben%amin6cudder8s death record here -$

9ow old is the "remember me" verse really: And when;how did it come to America:

An */32 edition of the !ew ngland 9istorical and rench, but was at some pointtranslated into nglish?

5hoso thou be that passeth by@ 5here these corps entombed lie?

nderstand what shall say, As at this time speak may$6uch as thou art, sometime was ,6uch as am, such shalt thou be$

dward8s epitaph, though it contains some of the sentiments found in the later poem, doesnot e1hort the visitor to, "prepare for death and follow me$" ariations on the "rememberme" verse seem to have been known in *.th#century 6cotland? found one e1ample of a

version from Perthshire, 6cotland in *=== ? As$ ye$ ar$ nou6o$ onc$ vas$ Ay

As$ Ay$ am$ so$ sal Ye$ be$ RemembreMan$ that$ thouMist$ dei$)transcription third#hand via Texas Graveyards -

8ve been puttering around on the internet for days now, and, from what can tell, thatmacabre little rhyme was not known in American mortuary culture before *.32$ Preliminary research indicates that it became popular in the *./2#*/+2 period and was used throughout
http://books.google.com/books?id=PpIZEEqB4y4C&pg=PA132&dq=%22as+you+are+now+so+once+was+I%22+scotland&ei=5FuFS9n5JIyUzgTD0L2iCw&cd=9#v=onepage&q=&f=falsehttp://books.google.com/books?id=PpIZEEqB4y4C&pg=PA132&dq=%22as+you+are+now+so+once+was+I%22+scotland&ei=5FuFS9n5JIyUzgTD0L2iCw&cd=9#v=onepage&q=&f=falsehttp://www.americanheritage.com/articles/magazine/ah/1960/2/1960_2_38.shtmlhttp://books.google.com/books?id=msd4AAAAMAAJ&pg=PA2344&dq=%22remember+me+as+you+pass+by%22&ei=3GGFS77ZK5WizASnwtScCw&cd=4#v=onepage&q=%22remember%20me%20as%20you%20pass%20by%22&f=falsehttp://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GSln=doane&GSfn=elisha&GSbyrel=in&GSdy=1759&GSdyrel=in&GSob=n&GRid=20568271&http://aleph0.clarku.edu/~djoyce/gen/report/rr05/rr05_487.htmhttp://www.westfieldnjhistory.com/files/lr17.htmhttp://www.westfieldnjhistory.com/files/lr17.htmhttp://www.familysearch.org/eng/search/frameset_search.asp?PAGE=/eng/search/ancestorsearchresults.asphttp://books.google.com/books?id=dvTWMOw7QKwC&pg=PA32&dq=edward+the+black+prince+%22remember+me+as+you+pass+by%22&ei=WVeFS5ybNZ-QywTex8zzCg&cd=1#v=onepage&q=&f=falsehttp://books.google.com/books?id=dvTWMOw7QKwC&pg=PA32&dq=edward+the+black+prince+%22remember+me+as+you+pass+by%22&ei=WVeFS5ybNZ-QywTex8zzCg&cd=1#v=onepage&q=&f=falsehttp://books.google.com/books?id=dvTWMOw7QKwC&pg=PA32&dq=edward+the+black+prince+%22remember+me+as+you+pass+by%22&ei=WVeFS5ybNZ-QywTex8zzCg&cd=1#v=onepage&q=&f=falsehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward,_the_Black_Princehttp://books.google.com/books?id=M2M1Nf4u3nMC&pg=PA60&dq=%22as+you+are+now+so+once+was+I%22&ei=KVqFS573FoPkzATexbCXCw&cd=7#v=onepage&q=black%20prince&f=falsehttp://books.google.com/books?id=M2M1Nf4u3nMC&pg=PA60&dq=perthshire+scotland+texas+cemeteries&ei=VGeFS962FIyUzgTD0L2iCw&cd=2#v=onepage&q=&f=falsehttp://books.google.com/books?id=M2M1Nf4u3nMC&pg=PA60&dq=perthshire+scotland+texas+cemeteries&ei=VGeFS962FIyUzgTD0L2iCw&cd=2#v=onepage&q=&f=falsehttp://www.americanheritage.com/articles/magazine/ah/1960/2/1960_2_38.shtmlhttp://books.google.com/books?id=msd4AAAAMAAJ&pg=PA2344&dq=%22remember+me+as+you+pass+by%22&ei=3GGFS77ZK5WizASnwtScCw&cd=4#v=onepage&q=%22remember%20me%20as%20you%20pass%20by%22&f=falsehttp://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GSln=doane&GSfn=elisha&GSbyrel=in&GSdy=1759&GSdyrel=in&GSob=n&GRid=20568271&http://aleph0.clarku.edu/~djoyce/gen/report/rr05/rr05_487.htmhttp://www.westfieldnjhistory.com/files/lr17.htmhttp://www.familysearch.org/eng/search/frameset_search.asp?PAGE=/eng/search/ancestorsearchresults.asphttp://books.google.com/books?id=dvTWMOw7QKwC&pg=PA32&dq=edward+the+black+prince+%22remember+me+as+you+pass+by%22&ei=WVeFS5ybNZ-QywTex8zzCg&cd=1#v=onepage&q=&f=falsehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward,_the_Black_Princehttp://books.google.com/books?id=M2M1Nf4u3nMC&pg=PA60&dq=%22as+you+are+now+so+once+was+I%22&ei=KVqFS573FoPkzATexbCXCw&cd=7#v=onepage&q=black%20prince&f=falsehttp://books.google.com/books?id=M2M1Nf4u3nMC&pg=PA60&dq=perthshire+scotland+texas+cemeteries&ei=VGeFS962FIyUzgTD0L2iCw&cd=2#v=onepage&q=&f=falsehttp://books.google.com/books?id=PpIZEEqB4y4C&pg=PA132&dq=%22as+you+are+now+so+once+was+I%22+scotland&ei=5FuFS9n5JIyUzgTD0L2iCw&cd=9#v=onepage&q=&f=falsehttp://books.google.com/books?id=PpIZEEqB4y4C&pg=PA132&dq=%22as+you+are+now+so+once+was+I%22+scotland&ei=5FuFS9n5JIyUzgTD0L2iCw&cd=9#v=onepage&q=&f=false


2/16

the *4th and into the 2th century$ 0he >ederal 5riter8s pro%ect found the verse used inndiana between */3= and *4*C $

A sample of gravestones with the "remember me" verse? 7emima 'illiam, nfield, (0, *./2

9annah (ole, Dovettsville, A, *.// Betty our, PA, */// 7ohn (orley, Alabama, *4*+

&oes anyone have an e1ample of a pre#*.32 version of this poem in America: 8m not askingthat snarkily # am really interested in finding the earliest possible e1amples and will keeplooking$ At the moment, am leaning toward thinking that this verse is !F0 a Puritan#

American favorite, but rather a gothic;medieval revival favorite$Posted by (aitlin


3/16

&unstable *..C )fide !ason, */..-

&edham, *..+ )fide 6lafter, *///-

t8s also the case that verses in general don8t become common on !ew ngland stonesuntil into the *.22s$ 0here certainly are many early e1amples, but think the percentageof *.th century stones with verses is relatively small in comparison with, say, stones fromthe late *.22s$ But think your sense that this verse isn8t especially "Puritan" is probablycorrect, in the same way that many things people popularly call "Puritan" today are really ictorian$

IR7F

>ebruary C, 2*2 at /?C+ PM

Bob said...0his contains a reported e1ample from *.+ in Frange, !7?

http?;;www$archive$org;stream;narrativesofnewa2*pier;narrativesofnewa2*pierJd%vu$t1t

)search the page for "follow me"-

IR7F

>ebruary C, 2*2 at **?3+ PM

Caitlin GD Hop ins said...t8s so nice to have informed, helpful commentersH

You8re definitely right that the *.th#century stones have very few verses$ 0hat8s what was looking into when came across this une1pected evidence I was trying to see ifthere is any correspondence between what is written on gravestones and what is writtenin printed elegies )answer? rarely-$

8m still working on this, but it looks like most of the non#vital inscriptions are one#linerslike "0he memory of the %ust is blessed" or "fugit hora$" 0here are a few longer verses)like the Fvid-, but not many$

0hanks for the !ew 7ersey reference$ looked up Matthew 5illiams )b$ *=3=, d$ *.+ - I
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4/16

he was born in 5ethersfield, (0$ Perhaps he8s our first real pre#ebruary 3, 2*2 at 4? * AM

Charles Bahne said...0here are at least a couple of e1amples at (opps 9ill in Boston$ n my book "0he(omplete reedom 0rail" Kuote from the stone for 0homas 5illiston,"who e1changed this Dife for a better" in *..3, age .3? "6top here my friend L cast an

ye, As you are now, so once was , As am now, so you must be, Prepare for &eath, andfollow Me$" 6orry, don8t know the dates or names of the other e1amples$

>ebruary 3, 2*2 at *2?2+ PM

Bob said... A *.=C e1ample from 9arvard?

http?;;books$google$com;books:id (pNvAAAAYAA7Lpg PAC/.Limg *LGoom +Lhl enLsig A(f + +e3 b v% #hw/J.t9p Jf( 1v3hgLci +=O (* //O (/C*O (* 2Ledge 2

IR7F

>ebruary =, 2*2 at * ?+* AM

!ori "to es said...8ll %ump in vaguely to say 8m pretty sure there are e1amples at the FB< in Arlington$ 8ll

look through my records$

>ebruary =, 2*2 at /?24 AM

Bob said...9ere8s a reported variant from 6cotland in *=+/?

http?;;books$google$com;books:id J'N9AAAANAA7Lpg PA.4Limg *LGoom +Lhl enLsig A(f + 2 gg'fm#
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5/16

B+r4vk5y27d>h FpG NALci /3O (* 2O (/4.O (C* Ledge 2

A reported variant from 6hropshire in *3/2 )search the page for "so once was "-?

http?;;www$archive$org;stream;notesKueries*2londuoft;notesKueries*2londuoftJd%vu$t

1t

And here is an apparently early variant that is said to have been inscribed at the entranceof a burying ground in dinburgh, although the date is not clear?

http?;;books$google$com;books:id haN# AAAAYAA7Lpg PA*4*Limg *LGoom +Lhl enLsig A(f + 2MM w&*.=opJJvKu aM bRiP.ewLci **2O (*4 O (=/ O ( *3Ledge 2

IR7F

>ebruary /, 2*2 at /?*. PM

Heather Ro#o said...a video of Dondonderry, !9, with a walk through the *.4+ alley (emetery# the narratorstops to read one of the stones which is the verse you are looking for

http?;;www$archive$org;details;AlBrennerD0ownltownaviavi

March */, 2*2 at .?23 PM

$im Blachowic% said...6ee the stone for (apt$ 7ohn >isher )*.+=- in !eedham cemetery on ">ind#a#grave" athttp?;;www$findagrave$com;cgi#bin;fg$cgi:page pvL


6/16

follow me" line and is a little earlier than the *.. or later inscription you cited?

0he inscription on his gravestone reads?

nsign

Matthew !oble 5as born6ept$ 4, *=4/L died Aug$ /, *..*$

Remember meas you Pass by,as you are now 6o once was @

as am !ow 6o you must be,Prepare for deathL follow me$

haven8t yet had the chance to see this stone myself@ my information comes from?

Boltwood, Ducius M$ )*/./- 9istory and genealogy of the family of 0homas !oble of 5estfield, Massachusetts? with genealogical notes of other families by the name of !oble$9artford, (0? Press of the (ase, Dockwood L Brainard (ompany$ /.2 pp$

7anuary , 2** at ? * AM

e'()e*ea+ 'b-+--e +// -+ bcdca*d'a said...!ot sure but believe this is on the stone of a grave at the Phipps 6treet Burial ebruary , 2** at 4? + AM

!isa 0c1enna said... have the tombstone rubbing, which acKuired in *4.3, from the artist who did the

rubbing$ 0his tombstone is from the


7/16

9ere lies Buriedthe body of (ap$ 7ohn &ecoster who died 7any /th*..+$ Aged =$ years

6top here my >riend L (ast an yeas you are now so Fnce was as am now so you must bePrepare for &eath L >ollow me$

have tried to write as it was written$ ery interesting topic$

March ., 2** at *2? * PM

Anonymous said...8m a funeral director in the ' and this 8ditty8 has been around for a few years now and

surfaces once in a while$ 0old to me years ago as a 8%oke8 there was a retort with referenceto heaven or hell?

Remember friend when passing by, As you are now, so once was $ As am now so you shall be,6o be prepared to follow meH

Retort?0o follow you m not content,

ntil know which way you wentH

0erry 6hoobridge

March **, 2** at .?C. PM

Heather Ro#o said...posted one yesterday at this link, but its from *./3$http?;;nutfieldgenealogy$blogspot$com; 2**;2+;michael#stratford#dealton#tombstone$html

March *3, 2** at 3?+C PM
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8/16


9/16

A6$YF $5 5$ t8s a great book$

August 3, 2** at =?2+ AM

Corrina said...0here is the same epitath on a headstone in 0owanda, 'ansas$ Although moved fromthere many years ago, that hauntingly beautiful memorial has always stuck with me$

7anuary /, 2* at /? 2 AM

Anonymous said...0here will be another stone with this inscription in 6tone (hurch (emetery, Ringgold,ebruary /, 2* at +?C/ PM
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10/16

Anonymous said...6o glad to find this articleH My family grave yard in an 0e1as has a tombstone from themid */22s this epitaph$ have told my family that this what want hopefully not for along timeH 0hanks for all the storiesH

alicia an9oose

April C, 2* at **?3* AM

Anonymous said...6o glad to find this articleH My family grave yard in an 0e1as has a tombstone from themid */22s this epitaph$ have told my family that this what want hopefully not for along timeH 0hanks for all the storiesH

alicia an9oose

April C, 2* at **?3C AM

clic ityclun said...0his verse has been bothering me for a while also, remember going to a cemetery in

monroe maryland of a girl that had passed away$ don8t remember much about it e1ceptthat it had an image of her painted on a piece of ivory imbedded in the headstone$ t read"9attie" or "hitty"

April *C, 2* at *2?*3 PM

Anonymous said... read this "poem" when a cousin and found it on a stone in an old grave yard in

Buffalo, 5 $ t is across a creek from the town park there$ 5e were uncovering stones

and found this one under a few inches of dirt$ t had a hand and a rose engraved with thepoem and no name$ Black slate or marble was what the stone was carved from$ have been haunted by these words since because our good friend died the day we found thisstone$ Remember youth as you pass by, as you are now, so once was $ As am now, and you must be, prepare for death and follow me$$$$$$$(hris ./3#/ 4#22.4

7une /, 2* at +? / AM
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11/16

Anonymous said... read this "poem" when a cousin and found it on a stone in an old grave yard in

Buffalo, 5 $ t is across a creek from the town park there$ 5e were uncovering stonesand found this one under a few inches of dirt$ t had a hand and a rose engraved with thepoem and no name$ Black slate or marble was what the stone was carved from$ have been haunted by these words since because our good friend died the day we found thisstone$ Remember youth as you pass by, as you are now, so once was $ As am now, and you must be, prepare for death and follow me$$$$$$$(hris ./3#/ 4#22.4

7une /, 2* at +? / AM

Paul said...(learly very late to the party, but as a long#time lurker wanted to bring to your attentiona purported *. 3 5illiam &are stone in !ewfoundland containing the verse, as reportedhere?

http?;;www$stonepics$com;newfoundlandJcemeteries;oldstone$htm

0he claimed inscription is"9ere lieth the body of 5illiam &AR who departed this life August the +, in *. 3 Laged about C3 years$ As am now so must you be@ 0herefore prepare to follow me@ As youare now, so once was @ 0herefore prepare yourself to die$"

August *., 2* at .?+C AM

burnley blo&s said...recently cleaned monument in Bowmanton Pioneer (emetery, Alnwick;9aldimand twsp$Fntario, (anadaPhilemon >ergusondied dec 3, */33 age /*My glass is run, my grave you see$Prepare in time to follow me$6o friends go home, shed no more tears$>or here lie till (hrist appears$

6eptember *=, 2* at +?2. PM
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12/16

4atalie said... saw this e1act poem today on a gravestone in !isky 9 ll (emetery in Bethlehem, Pa$

0he year old man was named >rank, and believe his date of death was */=3$ 0hiscemetery has eighteenth century graves as well$ will keep an eye out for this poem onolder gravestones$

Fctober *, 2* at .? = PM

Anonymous said...0his was the name of a chapter in one of my father8s books, he also studied head stones$ never knew where it came from but much to my delight while visiting Fur Dady of the(onception of the (apuchins in Rome saw this on a plaKue in among the bones$ 0hiscrypt was built in about *==2, don8t recall the wording, clearly it was not in english, butit was as close as can be wile still being another language$ have been curious sinceseeing this to know where it originated and if we will ever know$

>ebruary 4, 2*+ at * ?2/ AM

!lucchin said... am in Art 9istory class and this "Remember Me As You Pass By" is M (9 M (9 older

than you think$ t is a very ancient Datin Phrase and it became very popular to carve thesaying in gravestones during the *Cth and *3th century$ You can see one e1ample of thisin the art fresco "0he 9oly 0rinity" by Masaccio in taly *C 3$ 9ere it is in Datin? Nuod tues, ego fui, Kuod ego sum )5hat you are, once was@ what am now, you will be$- gotmore info if anyone needs it$ #77

>ebruary *4, 2*+ at **?CC PM

Anonymous said...

http?;;www$findagrave$com;cgi#bin;fg$cgi:page grL


13/16

5andra Graham said... 5owH t truly is amaGing how fantastic the nternet has become for nostalgia andreminiscing about things of the past$ %ust had a conversation with a few people at workabout local urban legends and told the story of the 5itch8s Ball at Myrtle 9ill (emeteryin alley (ity, F9 )do a google search for it-$

also told them of a gravestone epitaph me and a buddy of mine discovered whileinvestigating the urban legend as teens$ 0he epitaph reads )preserving the accuracy ofthe gravestone with punctuation, capitaliGation, and layout-?

n memory of, 5eed >ord, son of Paul L Mary >ord,he died 6ept$, +d,*/ *$ n the 2th yearof his age$6top traveller, stop as you pass by, As you are now, so once was , As am now, soon you must be,Prepare for &eath, and follow me$

have a great photo of this gravestone which will post a link to soon$

As you might imagine, my fellow co#workers were a little freaked out$ 0his prompted meto do a search on the nternet for the origin of this poem$

t is obvious this poem has haunted me and stuck with me all these years$ would like todo further research at the 9istorical 6ociety about this family because of the interestinggiven name and epitaph$ will post back if find anything of interest$


14/16


15/16

than that, but the end of the verse was a bit different?

Remember Man as You Pass By As you are !ow, so Fnce was As am !ow, so you 6oon will Be

0ogether in ternity

8m not positive about the last line# memoriGed the poem on the spot and it8s been many years since then# it might have been " Kuals in ternity", or possible "Partners in

ternity"$ 6imilar sentiment either way$ 0here was another grave in the same cemetery with a partially eroded verse about eKuality, so may be getting the two mi1ed up$

nteresting either way# it8s stuck with me obviously$ do think the variation is intriguing# it has a slightly different connotation than the

)apparently- more common "prepare for death and follow me", although the gist of theline is similar$0hanks for the interesting postH

May */, 2*+ at * ? 2 PM

halfdreamin& said...My father is really into genealogy, so any family road trip has usually been accompanied by at least one side trip to find "old dead relatives" )breaking into cemeteries or hoppingfences is not unusual, much to my mother8s chagrin-$

Fne of the graveyards we visited when was / or 4 had a stone with a variation of thisinscription$ 0he graveyard was somewhere in Appalachia, believe in !( or 0enn$ MaybeMissouri, but think !( is the most likely$ memoriGed the stone on the spot, but it8s been a long time since then, so my memory for the last line might be off$

Remember Man as you pass by, As you are now, so once was As am now, so you soon will be0ogether in ternity

0he last line may have been " Kuals in ternity" or "Partners in ternity" and think it was probably "soon shall be", not 8will be8$ ither way, the sentiment is about the same$ know there was another grave in the same cemetery that had a partially erodedinscription about eKuality, so may be confusing the two$

thought this variation was interesting because it has a different connotation than the)apparently- more common "prepare for death$$$" line, although the basic gist is similar$Perhaps whomever purchased the grave stone found the original last line a bit creepy: 5ho knows$
http://www.vastpublicindifference.com/2010/02/remember-me-as-you-pass-by.html?showComment=1368894000347#c1609538306612287367http://halfdreaming.livejournal.com/http://halfdreaming.livejournal.com/http://www.vastpublicindifference.com/2010/02/remember-me-as-you-pass-by.html?showComment=1368894000347#c1609538306612287367http://halfdreaming.livejournal.com/


16/16

Fbviously the poem has stuck with me for many years, so was interested to see yourpost$ 0hanks for the infoH

May */, 2*+ at * ?+ PM

Anonymous said...0o follow you 8m not content

ntil know which way you went

May *4, 2*+ at /?*2 PM

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Remember Me as You Pass By

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