Make It a HealthySummer

Positive – Powerful – Practical

recHarGe!Issue #9 August 2012

INVESTMENT

POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS

ENERGY

YOU CAN is a book of HOW . . . specifically how to improve your personal performance and achievement.

In this groundbreaking new book, renown peak performance expert John Von Achen walks you through a proven methodology guaranteed to help you reach your maximum potential.

There is no hype in this book, no filler and no excuses. Only solutions for how YOU CAN produce better results in everything you are doing.

Now, you can learn HOWEveryone Wants to Move Forward

One word describes John Von Achen, RESULTS!

John Von Achen is one of the most respected thought leaders and peak performance experts in the world today. He has become a legend when it comes to helping individuals and organizations achieve their maximum growth, performance and profitability.

Known as an inspiring, forward thinking business leader, John Von Achen has consistently provided his clients “real world” solutions they can transfer into immediate results.

Meet the Author

Learn more at www.youcan2012.com/

2012 August І 3

Founder of RECHARGE365.com and RECHARGE! Magazine

John Von AchenEditor-in-Chief helen Bereschinova

Copy Editor oleg VetoshnikovDesigner Lubov Karmanova

Cover story: Dr. Kem Thompson

conTrIBuTors:

Facts&Numbers Juststand.orgMindset Dana Lightman, Paul Kieweit, James Bishop,

Mark harrisonHealth Dr. Kem Thompson, celestine chua, Justin Devonshire,

Daniel PetragliaWealth Todd r. Tresidder, Manisha Thakor, Jon elder

Social scott Dinsmore, Alex Blackwell, Dean Mehrkens, richard skaare

Career Karen Adamedes, Karla Brandau, David Meerman scott, Jean Kelley

Performance robert L. Bailey, hugh culver, Jim MathiscoLuMnIsTs:

ellen rogin, Anne Bachrach

Owned and Operated by cenTe MeDIA, LLc.

Address: 1800 Pembrook dr ste 300

32810 Orlando, Florida

column42 Think right about Your Money Olympic Gold Winners: What’s Their Secret?

wealth32 how My Worst Investment Made Me Wealthy37 The Short and Sweet Guide to Compounding Interest39 Uncle Sam wants to help you with summer camp costs

Mindset16 how to stay Motivated no Matter What happens18 Weeding Out Your Worries20 Meaningful Change is the Result of a Clear Vision22 How to Stay Positive in а Negative World

cover story8 how to enjoy This summer. Make it a Healthy Summer!

Health24 Benefits of having a Good Posture (And 13 Tips to Getting One)28 What’s Your Favorite Snack?30 Weight Loss Lies That Are Keeping You Fat

auGust 2012

4 І August 2012

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Performance62 The Marshmallow Gene66 C.H.A.N.G.E. To Deal With Stress!

67 Take your Daily Vitamins

career54 7 Tips to Keep smiling Whilst You Look for a Job56 Risk. "Don't do that, it's too risky."

58 Seven Calculated Choices to Make Your Career Leap Like a Geyser

60 Link Up With LinkedIn.

44 From Tim Ferriss & Warren Buffett to Tony robbins & seth Godin. How to Create World-Class Relationships

49 Passive Dads Suck

51 Five Ways to Cope When Your Child Returns to the Nest

52 A Primer on Social Networking for Boomers

column69 Accelerate Your results! 5 Ideas to Reduce the Biggest Time Wasters

recHarGe! content

2012 August І 5

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The 2010 American Cancer Society study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology followed 123,216 individuals (69,776 women and 53,440 men) from 1993–2006. It examined the amount of time spent sitting and physical activity in relation to mortality. The alarming results:

94% of women and 48% of men who sat more and were less physically active were more likely to die compared with those who reported sitting the least and being most active.

A January 2010 British Journal of Sports Medicine article suggests that people who sit for long periods of time have an increased risk of disease.

In 2010 the University of Queensland, Australia, School of Population Health reported, “Even when adults meet physical activity guidelines, sitting for prolonged periods can compromise metabolic health.”

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/72534

94The 2010 American Cancer Society study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology followed 123,216 individuals (69,776 women and 53,440 men) from 1993–2006. It examined the amount of time spent sitting and physical activity in relation to mortality. The alarming results:

94% of women and 48% of men who sat more and were less physically active were more likely to die compared with those who reported sitting the least and being most active.

A January 2010 British Journal of Sports Medicine article suggests that people who sit for long periods of time have an increased risk of disease.

In 2010 the University of Queensland, Australia, School of Population Health reported, “Even when adults meet physical activity guidelines, sitting for prolonged periods can compromise metabolic health.”

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/72534

94

Ho

w to Enjoy tHis summEr

make it a Healthy summer!

recHarGe!

cover story

8 І August 2012

A nyway, whatever the weather is doing outside, you’ve got to make sure that the weather on the inside of you is great!

That’s the only way you can truly enjoy yourself this, and every season of the year.so this month I’m going to share with you some tips to help you make it a healthy summer.

1reneW Your MInD! To renew your mind means to accept responsibility

for the way things are in your life right now. This em-powers you to change the things you don’t like, and increase in the areas you do like.

The way things are in your life right now is a reflec-tion of the way you see things on the inside.

The way you see things on the inside affects the way you see things on the outside. The things you think about affect the way you feel on the inside, which in turn affects the way you speak and act. This in turn brings about the results you see around you.

What’s this got to do with your health? Or having a fun summer? Only everything!It means that:a) Happiness is a choice! Whether or not you enjoy yourself today is up to you, not up to anyone or anything out there (unless you give them power over you to affect your mood...) simply make up your mind that today, no matter what comes your way, you choose to be happy.

One sure fire way to help you generate and maintain your decision to be happy, is to think of things you are thankful for in your life – big or small. The more things you think of to be thankful for, the more things to be thankful for will show up in your life.

summer is here! – At least some days it seems like it –

right now it’s pouring outside...

so choose to be happy. Make it a great day as long as it’s called ‘today’! It’s up to you.b) stress is a choice! What is stress, anyway? stress is your (chosen) response or reaction to an event. It’s not the circumstance that makes you feel stressed out – it’s the way you (are choosing to) re-spond to that circumstance or event that makes you feel stressed out.

Your response to any circumstance should either be one of the following: do something about it, to improve the situation or, if there’s nothing you can do about it, then just let it go. stress should not be an option – it doesn’t solve anything, rather if prolonged, it causes your body to release chemicals and antioxidants that make you ill.so remember to react one of two ways to any circum-stance: – (i) do something positive to change the situation for the better. If there’s nothing you can do about it...– (ii) Let it go. refuse to fuss and cuss and stress up about it because that won’t solve anything.

2 eAT The rIGhT FooDs!If you want to have fun this summer you need lots

of energy to do so!However if you’re eating the wrong foods they can

leave you feeling lethargic and sluggish and unable to enjoy yourself.

so what are these ‘right Foods’ you should be eating?

Good carbohydrates- Unlimited amount of vegetables, different colors especially the green leafy ones. Aim to eat at least 3 portions of vegetables each day. If you are

Ho

w to Enjoy tHis summEr

make it a Healthy summer!

2012 August І 9

recHarGe! cover story

overweight or suffer from diabetes, hypertension etc, eat 4 portions of vegetables each day. Fresh is best but for variety you could also stir-fry (in coconut oil), steam (then put a dash of olive or hemp oil just before serving), in addition to your salads (dressed with olive or hemp oil)- Fruit: don’t overdo these though, as the sugar they contain, though natural, could, if eaten in excess, lead to other problems. Aim to eat 2 portions of fruit a day, but if you suffer from diabetes, hypertension or are overweight, limit your fruit intake to 1 portion per day.- Grains and grain-based products: keep these to a minimum, and if you do eat them, eat the wholegrain variety. If you suffer from diabetes, are overweight or suffer from high blood pressure, you’d do well to avoid all grains altogether as they do tend to spike your blood sugar in a hurry, causing you to crash in energy lev-els soon after eating them. These include rice, pasta, bread. eat only the wholegrain varieties of these if you must eat them. Otherwise minimize them. One grain that doesn’t behave like a grain, which you can use to substitute rice, is Quinoa (pronounced ‘keen-wa’). Try it and see how you find it.- Pulses: these are generally low glycemic, meaning they don’t cause your blood sugar to spike as quickly as grains and grain-based products. These include beans and lentils. If you’re worried they’d turn you into a fart-ing machine, here’s what you need to do: either buy the canned variety (soaked in water, not sugary sauce – sorry but that means baked beans are a no-no), or you buy the dry ones and soak them overnight before cooking (with a pressure cooker you could cook them within 20 minutes)

Good Proteins- Vegetable sources of protein are generally superior to animal sources in terms of being easier for you to digest. so aim to have most of your protein sources come from vegetable sources. Most foods contain some degree of protein, however some foods are richer in protein than others. examples include pulses, (fermented) soya, soya nuts, other nuts and seeds, hemp seeds are an excellent, easily digestible gluten-free source of protein.- Animal sources from the right sources are good for you in limited amounts – you don’t want to eat too much of

animal proteins as they get broken down to metabolites that are acidic. Not good as your body prefers a slightly more alkaline environment to thrive. Good sources of animal proteins are meat that’s bred from free-range grass-fed animals free from hormones or pesticide feeds, free range poultry and their eggs, organically raised fish (to minimize mercury exposure)

Good Fats- These keep you feeling full for longer without that slug-gish drained feeling you’d get after a heavy-sugar meal.- They also have numerous other health benefits for you such as anti-inflammatory (the fish oils esp. omega 3), and other immune system boosting and cell mem-brane/regeneration properties.- eg are coconut oil, olive oil, hemp oil

remember To Take supplements!- due to current farming methods and cooking and other methods of preparing food, even the healthiest diet could use some supplementation.- Look for a comprehensive multivitamin/mineral/an-tioxidant combination, and to guarantee the quality, look for one that’s ‘Pharmaceutical grade’ (meaning that they’ve adhered to strict standards to ensure that the exact amount of nutrients stated on the bottle are the exact amounts in the bottle.)eating the right Foods: In a nutshell: choose foods from the above groups to make up your daily meals and snacks. Take daily quality supplements. To find out which proportion to eat them in, listen to your body: how do you feel when you eat a predominantly carbohydrate meal? Or a predominantly protein meal? Whichever of the two that leaves you feeling fuller of energy for longer, is the one your body needs. If you eat the right foods, you’ll also find that your body releases any excess fat it’s carrying around so in addition to feeling good you look great too! Bring on the bikinis!!

some healthy recipes For summerFirst, here’s a list of 5 must-have foods in your summer grocery shopping list: Green leafy vegetables: great sources of fi-ber, calcium, folic acid and vitamin C. Reduce

10 І August 2012

the risk of heart disease, diabetes, cancer and great for weight loss. celery: great for enhancing memory, also a good diuretic. You could shop this and mix it with an omellete, or salads – be creative with this. Or you could eat the sticks with almond butter smeared down the middle. Yum! oregano: great anti-inflammatory spice. Use in soups or other dishes. strawberries: great source of vitamin C, folic acid and antioxidants. Can also reduce inflam-mation. Eat as is or use as part of a smoothie with a banana and some soya or almond milk. Watermelon: fantastic for reducing blood pressure.

There are a great many seasonal foods available for you to choose from in summer. These are at their most nutritious as well, at this time so it’s best to take advan-tage of the season and get as much of these foods into your system, the fresher the better.

Method Whisk the following to taste in a large bowl until they’re all combined: fish sauce to taste, lime zest, lime juice, oil, vinegar and crushed red pepper in a large bowl un-til combined.

Add cucumber, avocado mango and cilantro; gen-tly toss to coat. Add more lime zest if you wish.

Traditionally this contains brown sugar, but omit-ting it makes this recipe even healthier. The fructose in the mango provides sweetness enough.

MethodPlace all vegetables on chopsticks. drizzle in olive oil and balsamic dressing.

Grill for 10-12 minutes or until vegetables are crisp.either of the above recipes goes great with either

grilled chicken breast or salmon.speaking of salmon, here’s one of my favorite

salmon dishes:

Ingredients

3-5 tsp fish sauce

1 tsp freshly grated lime zest,

plus more for garnish

2 tbsp lime juice

1 tbsp canola oil

1 tsp rice vinegar

1/4 tsp crushed red pepper

1 medium cucumber,

cut into 3/4-inch dice

1 avocado, cut into 3/4-inch dice

1 mango, cut into 3/4-inch dice

1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro

Tropical cucumber

salad

Ingredients1 zucchini, 1/4 inch slices1 summer squash, 1/4 inch slices8 baby portabella mushrooms1-2 tomatoes, sliced into 8 wedges

olive oilbalsamic vinaigrette4 chopsticks

summer shish Kabobs

2012 August І 11

recHarGe! cover story

MethodHeat broiler. Place the potatoes in a large saucepan of water and bring to a boil. reduce heat, cover, and simmer until fork-tender, about 15 minutes. drain and remove from pot.

Meanwhile, coat the salmon with 2 teaspoons of the oil and season with ½ teaspoon salt and ¼ tea-spoon pepper.

Broil the salmon 10 to 12 minutes, until just cooked through. Let cool, then flake with a fork.

Meanwhile, place the green beans in a saucepan of water and boil until crisp-tender, about 3 minutes. drain, run under cold water, and set aside.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the herbs, mus-tard, lemon juice, remaining ⅓ cup oil, and ¼ teaspoon salt. set aside.

Cut the potatoes in half when cool enough to handle. Arrange with the lettuce and green beans on plates. Top each with the salmon, eggs, and olives. drizzle with the dressing.

3GeT AcTIVe!regular exercise powers up your body in so many

positive ways that you simply must include some form of it into your daily life.

Apart from helping you lose weight and shape up, regular exercise causes your body to release the so-called ‘happy hormones’ (endorphins) – which make you feel good (your natural ‘high’) and confident.

exercise also has been shown to be better than an-tidepressants for combating mild to moderate depres-sion.

Best part is, you don’t need to join or gym or buy expensive equipment to benefit from a great work-out – using your own body weight as resistant training weight, you can get a cracking session each time.

General principles for regular exer-cise include the following: Start small: if you’re not used to working out regularly, first get the all clear from your doctor, then start small with eg a 5-10 minute brisk walk. Eventually build up to about 30 minutes each day Aim to do aerobics at least every other day. This includes things like brisk walking, running, jumping rope, burpees, swimming, etc Aim to do strength training exercises every other day too – these are vital as part of your healthy lifestyle regime. Always warm up and stretch before and after each exercise session.

some outdoor exercises to Power up Your summer! Jump squats Burpees

Ingredients

1 pound new potatoes,

scrubbed. If you are overweight

or suffer from diabetes or hyper-

tension, leave out the potato. It’s

still a great tasting dish without it.

2-6 ounce salmon fillets with skin

1 tbsp olive oil, extra virgin

kosher salt and black pepper

1/4 pound (200g) green beans

1/4 cup of mixed chopped herbs,

such as parsley, chives, or dill

1 tablespoon dijon mustard

1 tablespoon fresh lemon

juice 1 Large head of lettuce, washed

and dried leaves

2 eggs, hard-cooked, cut in half

A handful of olives

salmon nicoise salad

12 І August 2012

Skipping rope Running/Walking/Jogging Pushups Cycling

4cATch uP on Your zzzzzzs!Adequate sleep is a must if you are to be healthy

and have lots of energy. don’t skimp on this one. Ad-equate in quality and in quantity (of hours).How much is enough for you?However many hours that leave you feeling refreshed when you wake up!If you over-sleep, you wake up feeling sluggish and tired.If you under-sleep, you wake up feeling sluggish and tired.

experts seem to agree that most adults need at least 6 hours of sleep to get the full benefits – but you work with your body and see what works best for you.To ensure the quality of sleep you get is a good one, do the following: Sleep at night, at about the same time each night Make your bedroom pitch dark when it’s time for you to sleep: because we have longer days in summer, you need to help your body along by using blinds or curtains that black out the light once it’s your bedtime. Your body actually needs for you to sleep in the dark because that’s what triggers the release of melatonin from your pineal gland. Melatonin is an important hormone that regulates other hormones in your body and helps your body maintain its own sleep-wake cycle. Melatonin is released in the dark and so any-thing that disrupts the production of melatonin, disrupts your body’s patterns – things like lights on in your bedroom at night, electronic gadgets on eg TV or clock displays, or shift work. This disruption has far-reaching adverse health effects including contributing to diabetes and obesity. Melatonin is also a powerful antioxidant and has been suggested to play a role in boosting your im-munity. Low levels of melatonin have been found in

people suffering from breast and prostate cancer so it appears its benefits are more far-reaching than just a good night sleep – and in summer it’s essential that you optimize your body’s melatonin production by sleeping in pitch dark. Switch off all electromagnetic gadgets in your room (phones, PC, TV, etc) Don’t watch the TV at least an hour before bedtime, so your brain can start winding down Eat your last meal about 2 hours before bed time. Don’t exercise within 2 hours of bedtime Don’t drink any stimulating drink (eg coffee, tea) within 3 hours of bedtime Eliminate all distractions once you’re in bed. Aim to wake up at the same time each morning.

5 BreAThe AGAIn!Adequate oxygen levels make you feel alive!

so get into the habit of taking the time to breathe prop-erly several times a day. Things you could do to boost your lungs’ oxygen intake levels include: Exercise regularly Laugh daily – find good reasons to have a proper belly laugh at least once a day. Apart from improving your oxygen levels, laughter also causes you to release the ‘happy hormones’ – endorphins, which make you feel all good inside.

Take some time out (just a few minutes) 3 times a day, to breathe in deep (such that your tummy is pushed out... and hold for a count of 4) and breathe out slowly.Here’s a simple deep-breathing exercise you can do, best done out in the fresh air.It’s called the ‘4-7-8 method’ made popular by dr An-drew Weil. Sit up straight Place the tip of your tongue up against the back of your front teeth. Keep it there through the entire breathing process Breathe in silently through your nose to the count of four Hold your breath to the count of seven Exhale through your mouth to the count of eight, making an audible “woosh” sound

2012 August І 13

recHarGe! cover story

That completes one full breath. Repeat the cy-cle another three times, for a total of four breaths Do this at least 3 times per day. Keep your posture right – stand straight, don’t slouch. Bad posture squishes your internal or-gans so they don’t function as well. This includes your lungs – the organs of oxygen exchange with carbon dioxide.

6 hYDrATe YourseLF!Water is the most important fluid you could ever

drink.Your body needs water to convert food to energy,

among other important functions. Not tea or juice or coffee or alcohol. And certainly

not sodas or other fizzy drinks.This is not to say you can’t drink the others (apart

from sodas – nobody should drink sodas, as they’ve got zero health benefit.) The other drinks you can take in small amounts, and they don’t count as ‘water’ as far as your body’s needs are concerned.

To find out how much water you should be drinking, multiply your body weight in kg by 33mls. That tells you how much water you should be drinking each day.

If it sounds like a huge amount, simply split it up into smaller units and drink that across the day.

And if you worry that you’ll live in the loo because of your increased water intake, don’t be – as you stick to the right amount, your bladder adjusts to it and you don’t have to go as often eventually.

Ideally you should minimize drinks that dehydrate you such as caffeine-containing drinks and alcohol (as dehydration will make you feel sluggish, tired, with headaches and other symptoms) – but if you do drink them, be sure to drink an extra glass of water for each glass of dehydrating drink you take.

7 eVerYBoDY LoVes The sunshIne!

The morning sun is the best for getting your dose of Vitamin d. This wonderful little vitamin has been

Dr Kem is a practising Family Doctor and Heath Coach based in London, England. She’s pas-sionate about empowering you to take control of your health so that you can enjoy a life free from chronic diseases such as obesity, diabetes and hypertension.Visit her blog today over at www.healthylifestyleclinic.co.uk for more articles with practical advice you can use today, and do be sure to download the FREE Food & Activity diary while you’re there!

Dr. KeM ThoMPson

found to be a great immune system booster, energy booster, been implicated in preventing certain can-cers, it’s great for your bones and teeth – it’s ben-efits list keeps on growing as more research is done into it.

Low levels can also make you feel tired and unable to enjoy your summer.

so if you feel tired get your doctor to do a blood test to find out your vitamin d levels. Ask for the ‘serum 25(OH) Vitamin d’ blood test. Based on the range used by the lab at your doctor’s, if your level is insufficient you either try or get as much sunshine as possible or you take supplements (Vitamin d3 supplements) to make up.

so get cracking to optimize your vitamin d levels.remember to use sunscreen if you are going to be

out in the sun for more than 20 minutes especially in the midday sun. sunscreen prevents you from making vitamin d from sunshine though so you would probably need to top up with supplements.

8 FrIenDs! eVerYBoDY neeDs TheM!

Healthy relationships make for a healthy, fun, life.Nurture the relationships you’ve got, make time

out to hang out with friends just for the fun of it. Go out, does something fun with your friends and loved ones.

Having a support system in place in your life is a great health boost. Living in isolation eats at you from the inside and is not the way you were designed to exist.

Having a confidant, or a close friend or partner you can share your challenges with and vice versa, helps lighten the load so you don’t have to carry it all alone.

so go on, talk to someone today. Invite them out for lunch or a movie or a walk in the park!

Live life to its fullest and have a happy, enjoyable, healthy summer. remember, it’s your choice!

by Dr. Kem Thompson

14 І August 2012

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Mindset

16 І August 2012

How to stay motivated no

matter what Happens

During the break at one of my recent seminars, a participant

approached me with a question. she had been trying to find

a new job, but after going on many interviews, she still hadn’t

found what she was looking for. she went on to say that she felt

like giving up, but realized from my talk that quitting would not

get her what she wanted. she asked me for some advice on

how she could stay motivated.

W hether you are looking for a new job, a new house or a new mate, the key to staying on course is the interpreta-

tion you bring to the process. Your interpretation of the experience will either make you feel discouraged or energized. remember, the choice is yours be-cause you always get to choose your interpretations. so, let’s focus on two POWer Optimism strategies that will enable you to create conditions for success by generating motivating and energizing perspec-tives to keep you going.

The first strategy, setting and Achieving Goals, is from the Proactive Practice. One major obstacle to achieving your vision lies in the way you interpret the inevitable setbacks along the course. First and fore-most, you need to expect setbacks to occur. do you have some number in your head that says you should achieve success by then? In others words, how many job interviews are really too many? Yes, you may get tired or discouraged, and you may even want to take a break, but the truth is that the job you want may be the next interview you go on. Check in with yourself to see if you have some faulty belief system that is caus-ing you to want to give up. remember, successful peo-ple all experience setbacks before they get what they want. Here are a few examples to help you keep things in perspective (from The Joy of Working: The 30-day system to success, Wealth and Happiness on the Job, by denis Waitley and reni Witt): Even the greatest quarterbacks only com-plete six out of ten passes. Top oil companies, even with the consultation of expert geologists, find oil in only one well in ten. A successful television actor is turned down

29 out of 30 times after auditioning for roles in commercials. Winners in the stock market make money on only two out of five investments.

The next time you come back from a disappointing job interview (or date or house search), don’t let it become a personal failure. Instead, tell yourself that this is just part of the process, and keep working towards achiev-ing your goal.

The second strategy, searching Out Possibilities, is from the Open-minded Practice. The fundamen-tal question to ask yourself is, “Am I operating from a scarcity mentality or from an abundance attitude?” If you are basing your experience on the former, you believe that there are only a limited number of jobs to go around. However, if you have an abundance atti-tude, your interpretation is that there are plenty of jobs and that you can find what you want. In other words, to keep going, you need to be able to trust that what you want is actually there. Here’s a story that illustrates my point. “In 1950, Florence Chadwick set a world record when she swam across the english Channel from

Even the greatest quarterbacks only complete six out

of ten passes

2012 August І 17

recHarGe! Mindset

France in 13 hours and 20 minutes. The follow-ing year, she swam from england to France, making history as the first woman to swim the channel from both shores. In 1952, she accepted the challenge of swimming the 26 miles from Catalina Island to Palos Verdes, California. Although the waters were frigid and sharks trailed her, Chadwick’s resolve was shattered by something else. After 15 hours of rough swimming, she couldn’t see any sign of the coastline because a heavy fog shrouded the area. With her goal out of sight, Chadwick lost the will to continue and climbed aboard an escort boat not realizing she was less than half a mile from shore. When asked why she stopped, Chad-wick explained: “It was the fog. If I could have seen land, I could have finished. But when you can’t see your goal, you lose all sense of progress and you begin to give up” (from The Toastmaster, August, 2005).

How about you? does the fog of your scarcity men-tality or limiting beliefs prevent you from trusting that the end is there, even when it isn’t in sight yet? Or do you know that your vision or your goal is waiting for you at the end of your journey? Check in with yourself. Learn to operate from an abundance attitude and trust that what you want to attain is available.

Curious about what happened to Florence Chad-wick? A few months later she made another attempt at the same swim. With the sun shining and her goal clearly in sight, this time she succeeded, setting yet another swimming record!

by Dana Lightman

Dr. Dana Lightman is an accom-plished motivational keynote speaker and trainer specializing in the field of optimism and positive psychology. She brings over 25 years of experience as a presenter,

psychotherapist, coach and educator to a wide range of audiences at conferences and conventions, corporations, hospitals, non-profits, universities and schools. As the founder of POWER Optimism in 2001, Dana published her first book, POWER Optimism: En-joy the Life You Have…Create the Success You Want in 2004, followed by the No More Difficult People Series in 2011. Learn more at: www.danalightman.com; www.NoMoreDifficultPeople.com

DAnA LIGhTMAn

wEEding out your worriEs

depression brings with it plenty of worries.

Worry gives a small thing a big shadow.

~ Swedish proverb

I like to think of worry as a weed. Unless it is dealt with, it can infiltrate every aspect of thinking and be all consuming. Chronic worry can paralyze the ability to make decisions, produce fear about the future, about health, relationships and other peoples’ perceptions of you, and cause pro-longed periods of stress. It is a common feature of depression, and also the basis of anxiety dis-orders that are separate from, and also coexist with, depression. Worry, anxiety and depression are close friends.

18 І August 2012

James Bishop is the founder and a director of Optimism Apps, a Sydney based-company that focuses on developing technology for people to use in improving their mental health. James has an actuarial background, giving him a natural interest in anything quantitative. More specifically he understands the power of monitoring, measuring and using feedback to make incre-mental improvements. He writes a popular, award-winning blog on mental wellness that he started in early 2007.

This applies just as well in developing personal wellness strategies, as it does to calculating insurance premiums. It is from this technical background, and an understanding of mental health from the patient side, that he has put his mind towards developing mental health applications. The applications are focused on helping people improve their health through better understanding of their lives and the various factors that affect their well-being.He writes a popular, award-winning blog on mental wellness that he started in early 2007.

JAMes BIshoP

Love looks forward, hate looks back, anxiety has eyes

all over its head. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

Worry predicts the bleakest results, the least desirable outcomes. And sometimes worry is a mind-set without a target; we’re not really sure what there is to be so un-easy about.

Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.

~ Author Unknown

The positive news is that you can challenge worry. A good technique is mindfulness.

during the day our minds constantly make deci-sions and weigh up options – everything from the mundane to the most important. A good healthy thought in response to an option empowers us; worry-ing about the option is unsettling. Worries aren’t nor-mally realistic but powered by imagination and fear. We imagine ourselves in all sorts of unpleasant situa-tions, like being rejected by someone we respect, not measuring up, fearing that someone we love will be in an accident, or that our work is not up to scratch. This is worry, and needs to be identified as such.

Being mindful of worry simply means that we realize it is there, it is affecting our thoughts, and influencing our actions.

Challenging worry is what we do once we are mind-ful of it. This is when we take our thoughts back – you can’t cut out worry from your thoughts without first challenging it. As with anything in life, from riding a

bike, to cooking, to any kind of hobby – challenging worry takes practice. When you feel your thoughts being led by worry, begin to imagine all the millions of times that things worked out okay, when you succeed-ed at what you tried.

Do you remember the things you were worrying about a year ago? How did they

work out? Didn’t you waste a lot of fruitless energy on account of most of them?

Didn’t most of them turn out all right after all?

~ Dale Carnegie

If “what-ifs” are all you can think of, challenge those thoughts too. You can begin to actively “what-if” into the positive realm, where things are okay. What would it look like if things went the most ideal way? How would you look and behave?

Identifying your worries and challenging them will help you reclaim your mind, cutting out the weeds one worrying thought at a time.

It ain’t no use putting up your umbrella till it rains.

~ Alice Caldwell Rice

re by James Bishop

2012 August І 19

recHarGe! Mindset

meaningful Change is the result of a Clear

Vision

this one thing is clear. Change happens. Like the current of a river, it flows – sometimes lazily, sometimes rapidly, and sometimes crazily. We

live in times of chaotic change and humans have al-ways done, we must adapt with it. We must flow with it.

To flow with the changes, we must know where we want the currents to take us. This requires a vision. There is a big difference between a vision and a view. If we allow the currents of change to sweep us along, we will have a view along the way, but we won’t have a vision of where we want to go.

Creating meaningful change requires that we live consciously and have a clear vision of what we want

to experience along the way. so many of us have experienced the negativity of knowing that what we have is not what we want. Adding to the frustration is the unawareness of what it is that we want. A life well lived is a life of intention and life of vision. Clarify your vision of what you want in this life, in this mo-ment.

Clarify your vision and you become the director of meaningful change in your life. Take some time with yourself to explore deeply six areas of your life. Be honest with yourself about where you are com-pared to where you want to be in these six areas of your life:

Change. It can be frightening. Change. It can be exhilarating.

Change. It can happen to us. Change. We can be the instigator.

We can ignite change or we can be extinguished by change.

20 І August 2012

1Professional – this concerns your delivery of val-ue to make yourself better, to make your world better, and to attract abundance and prosperity

into your world. Yes, that was a fancy way of saying this is your job. I contend that if your job is just a job, you may need some help in this area. What do you love do-ing? What are you good at? When you combine pas-sion and skill, the world will find you. When you can make a living and make a life, you never have to work another day in your life.

2Financial – what is your relationship with money and wealth? do you worry about

money? Are you living within your means? Have you reached a place where the things you own no longer own you? What is your vision for yourself if the financial aspects of your life were exactly where you wanted them? set sMArT (specific, Measureable, Achievable, realistic, Timely) goals around this area of your life and you’ll take the first step to reaching them.

3 spiritual – your religious beliefs or lack of them need to be a part of your vision. Are you at peace with yourself and the source of your energy, your

values, your purpose and sense of meaning? This ex-ploration is the deepest, most personal and in my view, most important.

4 emotional – how is your emotional state? Are your thoughts controlling you? All negative emo-tions are the result of believing untrue thoughts.

Have you explored where your emotions are coming

from? do you have mechanisms in place to help you find emotional balance and inner peace? do you have a picture of where you would like to be? This needs to be a part of your vision in order to create positive and meaningful change.

5relationship – how are you doing with the im-portant relationships in your life? Are you still actively writing a love story with your signifi-

cant other? How’s the family? Have you got a best friend? Life is a more pleasant journey when we share it with those we love. Loving those we want in our lives requires a vision as well. They are ex-

periencing this chaotic change as well. You can enjoy the journey with those you love.

6Health and Well-ness – your physi-cal body is the

vessel that you have to take with you on this amazing trip called life. Your body changes too. You need to make wise choices every mo-ment to care for your body and mind. Choosing healthy foods in the right amounts. Choosing to exercise the body to give you the strength and vitality you need to accomplish and experience your life goals. Wise food choices and commitment to exercise will also relieve stress and create positive emotions that self-perpetu-ate good habits.

Clarify your vision for what you want your life to look like in these six areas and you will be well on your way to orchestrating positive and meaningful change in your life. Be well, my friend.

by Paul Kieweit

MAS, CIP, Professional Development and Personal Growth. Paul, a former chairman of the Pro-motional Products Association International, is an international speaker, writer, coach and facilita-tor. He earned the Master Advertising Specialist from PPAI and the Certified Incentive Professional designation from the Association of Incentive Marketing. Paul is also a Certified Life Coach from Fowler Wainwright International Institute of Professional Coaching. He's the winner of six Golden Pyramid Awards from PPAI for creativity and results and has received two ASI Spirit Awards includ-

ing Marketer of the Year. His magazine articles were recognized with the EXCEL Award from the Society of Non-Profit Association Publications, a Golden Key Award from the Incentive Manufacturers Representatives Association, Presi-dent's Award from National Premium Sales Executives, and has been inducted into the Michigan Promotional Profes-sionals Association Hall of Fame. Learn more about Paul at www.create2bgreat.com

PAuL KIeWeIT

Are your thoughts controlling you?

2012 August І 21

recHarGe! Mindset

How do you control your thoughts? Your feelings? What experiences make up your day? Are they mostly posi-tive, or do you go through the day with your head in the clouds, never thinking good thoughts about anything? discover how living a more positive life is better and benefits your health.

The best way to secure future happiness is to be as happy as is rightfully possible today.

~ Charles W. Eliot

When life hands you a lemon, are you prepared to make lemonade? Try staying positive when everything around you is negative. It is essential for your health and wellbeing. More importantly, the way you think, feel and act determines the outcome of your experi-ence. so, why not make it a great experience by guid-ing your attitude toward one that is positive.

With the media always reporting doom and gloom all over the world, it is often difficult to see the good. so many times life puts you into such unexpected surroundings that must be dealt with to the best of your ability. It is never easy.

However, your feelings and thoughts are what de-termine whether you get through the day by having a positive experience, or a negative one. Your attitude is the key. Positive thoughts, feelings and actions may help you through many stressful situations.

When dealing with unexpected incidents, express-ing a positive attitude would be more beneficial than a displaying a depressing one. Additionally, a positive attitude also initiates and builds up your confidence so that you can get through the difficult situation.

To offset a bad day, look inside yourself for the strength, courage, and energy that is necessary in dealing with any problems. Two of my favorite quotes by Noah st. John, Chief Instructor rich Life Formula and the success Clinic, fit perfectly here. They are,

1When your opinion of your past, present and future tends to be positive, you will be happy. And,

2 When your opinion of your past, present and future tends to be negative, you will be unhappy.

Keeping these two quotes uppermost in your con-

sciousness may help you to develop, or bring about more positive feelings. This is a good test to use so that you can live your life with happier results.

enthusiasm and improving your physical, mental, and emotional spirit are big ways to boost your positive energy. staying well, keeping your health, your mind, and your body in the best shape are other ways. They all have a lot to do with how your day goes.

For example, when you wake up with a low spirit and low energy from lack of enough sleep, it shows in your work – and your attitude. so take the opposite route and get the required number of hours of rest and sleep. Then your day becomes a more positive experience for you.

Never let challenging situations and problems ef-fect you in a negative way. Negativity only adds fuel to the problem, heightens the difficulty, and makes the situation worse. Instead, maintaining an upbeat at-titude creates major harmony and tends to help you through difficult or upsetting situations.

Three other negative behaviors that steal your time and energy, and cause harmful outcomes are worry, fear and anxiety. Never let either one take over any part of your thoughts. Instead, give your subconscious mind positive goals and successful images to work on.

Maintain an attitude of gratitude, and remember to thank God for all that you have now, and all that is to come. Your feelings and thoughts are what matter. And keeping a positive spirit works wonders.

re by Mark Harrison

Mark Harrison is a freelance writer and educator. He writes for a number of self-improvement websites and is the author of several books. His writing covers a wide range of self-improvement topics, but especially

focuses on increasing productivity while reducing workload, and managing change. Visit him at www.harrisonfreelance.com

MArK hArrIson

How to stay PositiVE in a nEgatiVE world

22 І August 2012

BEcomE A FAN! Like Tweet

recHarGe!

Health

BEnEfits of HaVing a good PosturE

(and 13 tips to getting

one)

24 І JuLy 2012

Do you have a good or bad posture? As you are reading this, how

is your posture right now? Are you sitting upright? Are you slouch-

ing your back? Have you totally sunk into your chair?

W hen I was a small kid, I was very conscientious of keep-ing my back straight the whole time, because my parents and

teachers were constantly reminding everyone to do so. My back was so straight that there was a time when my teacher commended on my posture and told the other students to follow me as an example, much to my embarrassment.

However, things changed when I was 15, where I had my own computer and started spending copious amount of time in front of it. My posture became pretty bad. I would generally alternate between slouching over my desk, curling my whole body into my chair or sinking into my seat. It was as if my spine turned into jelly. The fact that I was (still am) taller than most girls around me (I’m currently 5ʹ 7ʺ (170cm), 4 inches taller than the average singaporean girl at 5ʹ 3ʺ (160cm) ) didn’t help me in maintaining a good posture too.

Initially I didn’t care too much about improving my posture, because I figure I could just switch back to a good posture whenever needed. However, after a few years, I began to recognize the value of maintaining a good posture at all times.

WhY hAVe A GooD PosTure?There are 5 key benefits from maintaining a good posture.

1 Facilitates breathing: A good posture naturally enables you to breathe properly. I started

appreciating this after I started meditating regularly a few months back, coupled with a good posture. I found a really a huge difference in the amount of air I could inhale between sitting up straight and slouching. This is why yoga, pilates and meditation exercises pay so much attention on getting your posture and sitting po-sitions right.

2 increases concentration and think-ing ability: When you are breathing properly,

you increase your thinking ability too. Our brain re-quires 20% of oxygen to do its job properly. More air, more oxygen. More oxygen, more brain food. More brain food leads to more thoughts and ideas.

3 iMprove your iMage: People with good postures look smarter and more attractive. Have

you ever seen someone with a bad posture and felt the person seemed unkempt, even though the person has not said or done anything yet? On the flip side, some-one with a good posture naturally exudes an aura of assertiveness and appeal.

4 Feel even better about yourselF: When you have a good posture, it helps to make

you feel more self-confident, without even doing any-thing else different. Try sitting in a bad posture now for 30 seconds. Now, switch to a good posture for 30 sec-onds as well. Is there any difference in how you felt?

5 avoid health coMplications: A bad pos-ture results in several complications over time,

such as increased risks of slipped disc, back aches, back pain, pressure inside your chest, poor blood cir-culation. When I was studying in business school, I had a professor back who suffered from a slip disc when he was younger. Unfortunately, he can’t straighten his back ever since the incident and he now walks with a permanent slouch.

so, WhAT Is A GooD PosTure?Contrary to popular belief, a good pos-ture does not mean keeping your spine to-tally straight. I used to have that misconception and it deterred me from keeping a good posture since it was just so tiring hav-ing to keep my back so straight

2012 August І 25

recHarGe! Health

head aligned with the string while relaxing other parts of your body. Usually people end up tensing all other parts of their body when trying to keep a right posture. What this does is it keeps you focused on keeping your back straight and loosening your other muscles.

3 set a re-Minder

to check in on your posture: Many of us may have the intention to keep a good posture, but we usually forget about it after like 5 minutes! A reminder in the form of a post-it note, item in your calendar, alarm, etc., defi-nitely helps. The frequency is up to you, from once a day to as frequent as every 15 minutes. With sufficient reminders, you will start kicking into a good posture naturally soon.

4 get a head, shoulder and back Mas-sage: If you have always been in a bad posture,

you will find that it’s hard to change your posture due to the hardening of your joints. I found that getting a massage loosens up my joints, which makes it easier for me to get into a better posture afterward.

5 eliMinate bad habits that cultivate bad postures: This includes watching TV/

reading while lying down, working under dim light (which results in slouching), sleeping on your stomach (apparently 7% of people do that!).

6 get a good quality chair: A good chair will be one that has a sufficiently firm and dense

cushion with back support. For me, I prefer the back of the chair to run up to at least my shoulders so I can place them against it.

7 place your butt at the innerMost edge oF the chair: This seemingly benign tip

actually helps set the right base for your posture. Many people have bad postures because they place their butt on the middle or toward the end of the chair. This causes them to lean/slouch forward and hunch since there is no support behind their backs to press against.

all the time. If you feel it is exhausting whenever you try to maintain a good posture, it’s probably because you are trying to keep your back fully straight. Trying to keep your back/spine fully straight is actually as detrimental to your back as a slouched posture. By constantly tightening your back muscles, you end up straining it in the process.

A good posture means maintaining the two natural curves at your back – (1) the concave curve from base of your head to your shoulders and (2) the concave curve from your upper back to the base of your spine. It’s like the shape of 2 C’s on your back. refer to the image on this page for an illustration.

When you are in the right posture, it should feel almost effortless to maintain the position. When you stand, your weight of your body should be evenly dis-tributed across the balls of feet (not the heels or the front).

Take a minute out now and examine your current posture in front of a mirror (full-length if possible; oth-erwise get one that allows you to see at least the up-per half of your body). does it fit the description of a good posture? If not, spend a few seconds to adjust your posture to the right one before you continue to read the article.

hoW To IMProVe Your PosTureHere are 13 tips which can improve your posture and keep it that way. I’ve tried all of them (except #13, since I don’t have back problems) and they work great in maintaining a good posture for me.

1 identiFy your key Motivation For having a good posture: Why do you want

a good posture? Is it to improve your breathing? To boost others’ perception of you? Feel more confident about yourself? To avoid health problems? Be clear on your underlying desire so you can remind yourself of it whenever you feel lazy to do anything about your pos-ture.

2 pretend your body is held by a string: This is an analogy I read somewhere before which I find helpful. It might sound weird, but it’s pretty effec-tive. Pretend that your spine and head is held up by a string from the ceiling all the

time. If you are lying down, pretend the string is held in a direction

parallel to the ground. Focus on keeping your spine and

26 І August 2012

Celestine Chua is the founder of Personal Excellence, community for people passionate about achieving excellence in life. On top of running Personal Excellence, she also does keynotes/speeches where invited. Celes speaks at events and conferences and has worked with Whar-ton Business School (University of Pennsylvania), Kimberly Clark, The Asia Business Forum, de Baak, Ministry of Defense (Singapore), JobsCentral, NUS Global Alumni Network, People’s Association, National Library, Singapore Institute of Management, and more. Her blog is now one

of the top personal development sites in the world with over 1 million pageviews every month. Learn more about Celestine at www.personalexcellence.co/about .

ceLesTIne chuA

8 get a back cushion: This was pretty effec-tive for me when I first started improving my pos-

ture. Buy a seat cushion and put it at the back of your chair. Whenever you sit, make sure your back is wedg-ing the cushion against the chair. Whenever you lean forward, the cushion will fall down, which will act as a reminder to shift back into your proper posture.

9 ground both your Feet when stand-ing or sitting. This means having both feet

planted flat on the floor and not resting your weight on a particular foot, which is a very common habit. While sitting, try not to cross your legs. This helps to keep the upper part of our body straight.

10 invest in a good bed and pillow: Get a mattress that is firm and not too soft. The soft mat-

tresses where you sink into may feel nice and comfy ini-tially, but is not good for your back/posture. In the hotels I’ve stayed in before for my past business trips, some of the hotels had really soft mattresses and pillows which just left my back and neck aching in pain the next day! For your pillow, consider investing in an orthopedic pillow. There are quite a few different designs in the market now. The most common is contour pillows, which are pillows that arch and support your head – I have been using one since I was 17. Another type is the neck pillow, a horse shoe shape pillow which is great for traveling.

11avoid carrying heavy iteMs: Just the act of carrying heavy items is bad for our shoul-

ders and back. Attempting to do so over an extended period of time gradually leads to hunched shoulders and backs. If you are a student, you probably do this every day with all the books for classes. For profes-sionals, it might be your laptop and work materials which you have to lunge around to and fro. If it’s not possible to reduce the load of things you carry around, you can consider getting a trolley bag or roller bag –

Ground both your feet when standing

or sitting

these are really convenient and are becoming com-mon place.

12engage in exercises which strengthen your back: These include

pilates, yoga, exercise balls and simple stretching. If you do sit-ups or crunches, ensure you are using the right technique (click on the link for more details) – otherwise, you will end up hurting your back instead.

13get a proFessional assessMent: If you have an extremely bad posture and a history

of back injuries or back aches, it will be good to visit a chiropractor or physical therapist for a professional assessment. He/she can advise you on how to better take care of your back.

Today, I’m back to having a good posture, be it when exercising, using the computer, sitting, walking, etc. Try the tips out for yourself as you work on improving/main-taining your posture and see if they work for you.

by Celestine Chua

recHarGe! Health

2012 August І 27

Let’s let the cat out of the bag today. I’d like to share with you all my favorite snack. This has been my #1 for at least a decade now. some things you

just can’t help right? Others you can though, like bad snacking habits. When it comes to food, will have our little pet peeves, and of course those devilishly won-derful guilty pleasures. But the more I read up on snacking, the more I find out that it is actually recom-mended versus being discouraged. Modern day nu-tritionists and dietitians all over the world suggest that smaller meals broken down into smaller increments throughout the day have proven to be more beneficial to ones diet than lesser and larger meals in a day. This might sound more tedious, but better as I think it can be at the very least tolerable.

so my favorite snack is chips and salsa! How child-ish I know. You’d think it’d be something more along the lines of some sort of fruit arrangement knowing me right? Well aren’t I just full of surprises? To me I’ve al-ways had an affinity for south Western / Mexican food. sure enough, 10 years later my favorite snack is still this cultures most recognizable side helping. We all

get hot and cold though with even our most favorite of foods. I must confess I actually haven’t eaten any chips or salsa in months. But I’m confident I’ll be back on that spicy band wagon in the not too distant future.

At this point you’re probably wondering why con-fess this sort of personal news? Isn’t he supposed to be talking about healthy dieting practices? Well in a sense, eating chips and salsa has taught me a lot about dieting. The first thing I learned is that snack-ing is encouraged by most, even if on the surface it doesn’t always seem too healthy.

There’s a large difference in a more organic based nacho than a greasy commercial brand potato chip. I’ll try not to mention any names (one almost just slipped right there). I’ve never been particularly fond of potato chips, yet corn and flour based tortilla chips have al-ways been much more easily digestible for me. Many of these flour and corn chip products can be found to have far less sodium. even more importantly, they can contain much less fat (polys, mono, sat).

Try to now think about your favorite snack. If you don’t think you have one, just think of one or two that you could chomp on right now without a moment hesi-

tation. some people like cupcakes, others like

carrot sticks in onion dip. There’s huge

scale in the snack world I think.

what’s your favorite snack?

28 І August 2012

based, unsalted, whole grain type of nacho. They were on the expensive side, I’ll surrender that, but they were not only delicious, but really healthy.

- TrIMMInG DoWn PorTIonsThe older I got, the smaller of portions I prepared. Not just because I’ve become more educated in all this, but because I realized there’s no need for glutenous behav-ior in this lifetime, ever again. Here’s a good concept to hold onto. don’t eat until your stuffed, but do eat when you’re hungry (even if it means something small).

Once I got my head wrapped around these 3 things, snacking became more enjoyable and less worrisome.

If I had to pick one snack now to have for the rest of my life, it shockingly enough wouldn’t be nachos with

salsa. I’d pick fruit as my snack of choice simply because of how it makes me feel. I get energy from all those natural sugars, and I get all the nourish-ment I need, without the fat. Nachos and salsa were good to me over the years, but I’m not as hardcore of a nacho eater as I used to be. I’ve grown and learned the snack scale all the way

from healthy to junk snacking. Now I am much more careful in my chip and dip selections.

so I encourage everyone to try and lock down one or two of your most favorite snacks. Learn about them further as I did with mine. You might be surprised in your findings. really just ask yourself, what’s your fa-vorite snack?

by Daniel Petraglia

Unfortunately, some of us just uncontrollably and uncon-ditionally love and woof down the worst kind of junk food.

Others that may only understand dieting on very ba-sic level can actually do very well in regards to their reg-ular snacking consumption. Then there are those of us who went from the naughty end of this scale to highest and most educated side being the person going from the cupcakes all the way up to the carrot sticks.

But cupcakes taste way better than carrot sticks don’t they? I admit, they do. But aren’t both serving vir-tually the same exact purpose? satisfying a hunger can be done either way, the choice is up to you. I say, find something in the middle of the snacking scale that you know you can warm up too. Carrots are pretty bland, but who’s to say you have to eat them alone? Find a dip that isn’t too fattening to enhance a snack like this one. The key is in find-ing something that isn’t nutritionally hurting you, maybe not entirely help-ing you, and mostly just satisfying you!

Here are 3 things to be weary of as I must bring them to your atten-tion.

- eATInG LATeThis is a no no. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before. It’s hard when the hunger strikes so abruptly and late at night. especially when your favorite snack is staring you in the face just sitting there on the top of the fridge (well my case at least). If you absolutely must, then go for something really whole or organic just to fix the pain or growl. I’m sure your absolute favorite snack(s) in the world isn’t 100% healthy, and if it is, I tip my hat to you. After all, mine isn’t. But if you can work your way up to getting used to having a super healthy snack on the regular, then you’re in the clear.

- VArIATIonsso with nachos and salsa I learned that I don’t nec-essarily need to have the same type all the time. I’ve tried probably over 50 different kinds of salsa in my lifetime and dozens of different flour and corn based chips. The commercial brand companies make imita-tion nachos. I distinctly remember having nachos from one of these major labels (which will go unnamed) and recall them tasting like butter and machine oil. About a month prior to eating that nonsense, I had an organic

carrots are pretty bland, but who’s to say you have to eat

them alone?

Webmaster, Fitness Enthusiast, Diet & Nutrition Researcher, Healthy Lifestyles Coach, Mental Health Strategist, Fútbol Fan for Life! Learn more about Daniel at www.twitter.com/#!/DanPetraglia, www.face-

book.com/fitnessandweightlosscentral and www.fitnessandweightlosscentral.com.

DAnIeL PeTrAGLIA

recHarGe! Health

2012 August І 29

In my years as a fit-ness coach I’ve seen fad diets and gim-micky workout routines come and go. Most people eventu-ally get bored of these fads and ditch them for the lat-est ‘magic bullet’ secret where they hope it will make them lose 50lbs and get 6-pack abs get 6-pack abs within days.

Yet, disturbingly there are a few myths that don’t seem to budge. There is definitely a reason why 90% of people who take up fitness classes never get the results they want, and even more reasons why most people who start any weight loss program usually fail.

right now I am going to expose some of the biggest lies the fitness in-dustry has ever told you…

Big-Fat Lie #1: “Weight Loss is All About calories In vs. calories out”I love this one. Whenever I tell people this is a myth all I see is astounded faces. It’s so deep-rooted in tradition that it seems it MUsT be true. Well, let’s apply some common sense and put it to the test shall we?

Let’s say I have twin sisters come to me to get in shape and transform their bodies. They are identical in age, ability, fitness, size, eating habits – everything.

Conventional wisdom would say that they should cut their calories by 500 and eat around 1,200kcals per day (this is the usual rec-ommended amount).

wEigHt loss liEs tHat arE KEEPing you fat

Now, twin A goes home and indeed eats only 1,200kcals per day – but she gets to that amount with nothing but chocolate, cakes, and

junk food.Twin B on the other hand gets her

1,200kcals from lean meats, fruits, veg-etables, eggs and drinks water.

After a month on this diet, do you really think they will have both lost the

same amount of weight?I can tell you from experience – when

someone eats junk food all day, they don’t lose much weight.

The truth is, weight loss comes down to hormones in the body. Controlling

your blood sugar with fibrous foods such as vegetables, and reduc-

ing everyday stress will kick-start your fat-burning enzymes.

Forget the quantity of food and calories. Focus on eat-

ing good quality food and the calories take care of

themselves.

Big-Fat Lie #2: “You need to run to Lose Weight”

This is a cracker! (Before go on, I’ll just state for the record that NONe of my clients in my 8 years’ experi-ence have ever used a treadmill, bike, or any form of aerobic exercise machinery, and they have dropped massive amounts of fat)

doing the miles is inefficient for losing weight for a few key reasons. Firstly, exercise at an aerobic level

30 І August 2012

does not significantly increase your metabolic rate (the amount of energy burned each day).

In contrast, resistance training – such as body-weight circuits – done in the right manner has been shown in studies to elevate your metabolism for up to 38 hours following a workout. so if you did a 30 minute circuit workout on Monday morning, you could still be burning fat while resting on Tuesday afternoon.

This is because fast-paced, high-intensity training in this way uses all your body’s muscle groups. repairing these muscles then takes the body a couple of days and requires a huge load of energy. You can find out more about boosting your metabolism here.

secondly, jogging gives you a far higher chance of getting injured. runners routinely experience back, hip, knee and an-kle pains as a result of putting so much impact through their joints.

The last reason I’ll site as to why you shouldn’t be running to lose weight is that most people find it… bor-ing (that’s why they put TVs in front of the cardio area in gyms).

If you’re not motivated to continue and don’t enjoy your exercise routine, it won’t be long until you throw in the towel and look for the next fad diet.

Big-Fat Lie #3: “You Must elimi-nate Fat From Your Diet”The confusion here – that led to the original low-fat revolution – comes from the fact that many years ago when the low-fat recommendations were first made, we had very little understanding of fats.

More specifically, when the low-fat recommen-dation was made in the 1950s we had no idea there were ‘good’ and ‘bad ‘fats. Fats get a bad reputation because they have more calories per gram than do carbohydrate and protein foods. Although, as we’ve already seen, the amounts of calories in foods are not the determining factor in losing fat we once thought.

Isn’t it strange that in this decade we eat far less fat than ever before, yet obesity is still rising? Fat isn’t – and never was – the main problem.

Another thing that we didn’t realize years ago is that excess sugar can also be turned into fat by body.

Indeed the reason most people are overweight is be-cause of excess sugar in their diets, not excess fat.

In fact, most people need to include more healthy fats in their diets – even though they are higher in calo-ries! But here’s the thing that many people don’t un-derstand: There are more calories in fat because fat is broken down to perform more tasks within your body.

For example, healthy fat is required for brain power, memory, and mood; it’s used to regulate hor-mones (and produce tes-tosterone in men), and it also boosts metabolism and gives you healthy skin, nails and hair.

Because of all these functions, those 9 calo-ries per gram are easily broken up and used for energy. Therefore, eat-ing a higher calorie in-take from healthy fats will

not end up around your waistline.I hope this article has helped you see that when

some common sense is applied, many of the tradi-tional myths about fitness and weight loss simply don’t hold up. Most guidelines on fitness where created decades ago. since then science and understanding of how the human body works has come leaps and bounds – unfortunately this information rarely makes it to the mainstream.

don’t be left spinning your wheels! Take on board these tips to shed fat and get lean and toned faster than ever before.

by Justin Devonshire

Focus on eating good quality food

and the calories take care of themselves

Justin Devonshire is a women’s fat-loss & body-toning expert. He is the owner of Bodyshape Fitness – Personal Training & Bootcamp, which is run in both the UK and Cyprus. For more free quick tips

on weight loss, toning & motivation for women, visit the Bodyshape Fitness Blog. Go here right now for a FREE copy of Justin’s “Little Black Dress Trans-formation Guide”

JusTIn DeVonshIre

recHarGe! Health

2012 August І 31

How my worst inVEstmEnt madE mE wEaltHy32 І August 2012

recHarGe!

wealth

M y first investment was a complete loss. I know that doesn’t make for ego pleas-ing, cocktail party conver-

sation, but it’s the truth.In this article I’m going to tell you the whole story

about how I lost 100% of my invested capital many years ago and the investment mistakes I made to cre-ate this disastrous result. But first I want to tell you why I’m doing it.There are two points to this story:

1 losing investMents can be great teachers. You will learn from every investment

mistake you make, and you can also learn vicariously from other people’s investment mistakes so that you don’t have to make the same error yourself. each in-vestment lesson learned can help you avoid a loss in the future which can turbo boost your lifetime invest-ment performance.

2 losses are a natural and norMal result oF Making investMent deci-

sions, and the key to long terM suc-cess is what you do when they occur. You must learn from your investment mistakes so that you don’t repeat them. You must also cut your losses once the mistakes are recognized so that they don’t grow to unmanageable proportions.

The truth is I’ve made more investment mistakes and incurred more losses in my investment career than this web site has space to share – that’s why I’m such a great teacher.

It is also why I’m a successful investor today.Below is my personal story of my first investment

– a total loser. Go ahead and laugh at the foolish-ness. We all start somewhere and this story is proof positive that I was not born a great investor. Invest-ing is a learned skill and the lessons contained in this story can help you avoid the same mistakes I made so that you can become a more profitable in-vestor.

one BIG InVesTMenT MIsTAKeThis story begins shortly after graduating from college when the book “In search of excellence” was a nation-wide bestseller.

How you Manage Investment Losses Will ultimately

Determine your Profits. Learn Which Investment strategy

Makes the Most Of A Bad situation…

The most important thing in life is not to capitalize on your gains. Any fool can do that. The really

important thing is to profit from your losses. That

requires intelligence; and it makes the difference between a man of sense

and a fool. ~ William Bolitho

since each person's financial needs are different, it makes sense that there are different

types of credit cards. Before you apply for a credit card, become familiar with the various

kinds of credit cards to make sure you're choosing the best credit card for you.

what card is right for you?

2012 August І 33

recHarGe! wealth

value was because of my superior stock picking skills – wrong! I had no clue that new issues are of-ten supported by the offering company during the initial distribution phase to attract investor interest. I didn’t know that rising prices and hype are frequent-ly used as tools to distribute stock to naive investors like me. INvEstmENt mIstAkE 7: Don’t play a game you don’t understand fully.

I knew nothing about the new issue game and was gambling rather than investing. I had no competitive

advantage and there was no mathematical expecta-tion to my investment strategy.soon the stock hit its all time high and I was making good money. I had visions of becoming the next Peter Lynch or Warren Buffet as I labored under delusions of my financial intelligence. INvEstmENt mIstAkE 8: Don’t confuse brains with a bull market. even the dumbest investments can create temporary gains when the wind is at your back.

Immediately following on the heels of the all time high was a rapid descent in price that swallowed all previ-ous price gains. I was in despair as the position went from a winner to a loser in a short time.

Magically, just as I began to worry I got a call from my broker. It seemed as though he could read

I had been hired by Hewlett-Packard, which was featured in the book, and placed on the fast track to success. My business background was extensive for a zitty-faced, college graduate, and I had aced my GMAT test scores in preparation to begin an MBA de-gree program at business graduate school.

In short, the future looked so bright I had to wear shades.While at Hewlett-Packard I befriended some-one in the credit department who knew about this “hot new tech company” that was buying HP mainframe computers to run its business. Its stock was listed in the NAsdAQ pink sheets and my buddy had the inside scoop because of his job doing all the credit analysis for financing the computer purchases.

Well, being a brand new investor with zero experi-ence or savvy, I plunged all the money I had saved for graduate school into the stock. This decision proved to be one big mistake from the beginning. Below are a few of the more obvious mistakes I made with this investment: INvEstmENt mIstAkE 1: I bought on a “hot stock tip”. INvEstmENt mIstAkE 2: I risked money I could not afford to lose. INvEstmENt mIstAkE 3: I had no buy or sell disci-pline – no investment strategy. INvEstmENt mIstAkE 4: I bought a story rather than business fundamentals. INvEstmENt mIstAkE 5: I had no risk management plan to control losses. INvEstmENt mIstAkE 6: I put money at risk with-out an exit strategy in place first.

FroM ProFIT To Loss WITh no InVesTMenT sTrATeGYAt first all appeared well as the stock nearly doubled in price. The problem was I thought this growth in

very experience is a lesson, every loss is a gain.

~ Sri Sathya Sai Baba

If you have made a mistake, cut your losses as quickly as possible.

~ Bernard M. Baruch

1zero-or-low interest rate

best for: Anyone willing and able to pay

down existing credit card debt relatively quickly.

Pros: Most cards offer the bargain rate on

balance transfers from other cards. The lower

rate can save you a bundle on your current

interest costs.

Sometimes your best investments are the ones

you don’t make. ~ Donald Trump

what card is right for you?

34 І August 2012

my mind and knew about my worries. duhh!! He ex-tolled the virtues of the company and told me all the good news about “big developments soon to be an-nounced” and how the price was “certain to make new highs and create enormous profits.”My greed glands began working overtime as I swallowed all of the broker’s bull – hook, line and sinker. Not only did I hold my losing position in the stock, but I even added to it by buying additional shares.

(The gulping sound you hear in the background is me swallowing my pride as I write this.) INvEstmENt mIstAkE 9: Bought based on news. INvEstmENt mIstAkE 10: Let good money chase after bad: averaged down. INvEstmENt mIstAkE 11: Didn’t understand the incentives of the advisor and the biases it cre-ated in the advice given. INvEstmENt mIstAkE 12: I didn’t protect my prof-its, and I didn’t control my losses while they were still manageable – no risk management.

I could add even more mistakes to this list, but I think you get the point.

The punch line to this story is the stock never looked back and went straight to zero. I lost 100% of everything I invested which was most of what I had at the time. Ouch!

I never did go to graduate school. I decided to get an education investing instead, and I’ve never regret-ted that decision.

InVesTMenT sTrATeGY: ProFIT FroM Your LossesThis first investment was the first of many tuition bills I paid to the school of hard knocks during my journey to investment success, and it was also one of the most painful.

What made it so painful was that I had no idea what went wrong. All I knew was that all the money I had worked for and saved for graduate school was gone, and I had made the decisions that caused it to happen. I was confused and hurting.

My question for you is: how many of the above investment mistakes are you making? How much are these mistakes costing you? One of the key factors to my investment success is that I try to always learn

from my mistakes. I constantly improve my invest-ment skills by studying each losing investment to understand what went wrong with my strategy, and then I set up disciplines to assure I never make the same mistake again. Over time the investment les-sons learned from this process of dissecting invest-ment losses has paid returns many times in excess of what the losses cost.

In other words, I took the pain of this financial catas-trophe and used it as motivation to learn what works in the markets, what doesn’t, and why. That is knowledge you can benefit from.

I didn’t just say “oh well” and write off the loss to bad luck, tough market conditions, or faulty invest-ment advice. I didn’t labor under the false premise that it wouldn’t happen again or the market would come back. I never deluded myself into believing more of the same investment strategy might make me a lucky mil-lion by finding the next Microsoft or IBM.

What about you? Are you using any of these excus-es to dismiss your investment losses as not reflect-ing a fundamental flaw in your strategy? Instead,

The worst mistake investors make is taking

their profits too soon, and their losses too long.

~ Michael Price

The willingness to accept responsibility for

one’s own life is the source from which self-respect

springs. ~ Joan Didion

cons: The low rate usually lasts for only

six to nine months, then reverts to some-

thing higher, usually around 14 percent to

16 percent. One late payment and the card

will revert to the higher rate immediately. If

you transfer a large balance but don't pay

it off during the favorable rate period, you

may end up with a higher rate than you had

to begin with.

recHarGe! wealth

2012 August І 35

I took responsibility for the loss. The reality is if it happened once then it could probably happen again. The only solution is to figure out what caused the problem in the first place so that it can be avoid-ed in the future. Taking self-responsibility for your investment losses is the first step to improving your investment strategy so that you can become a con-sistently profitable investor.

Nobody starts out as a great investor. Proper investing is a learned skill. You now have indisput-able, written proof that I began life as an investment idiot. Few people make more mistakes on their first investment than I made. You can’t do any worse than lose everything. Yet, I am a successful investor to-day, and it is largely because I have learned from my mistakes.

InVesTMenT rIsK MAnAGeMenT Is The KeYThe final mistake on the list, Investment Mistake 12, is probably the most crucial mistake to avoid. You must always invest with a risk management discipline. This is critical. Never violate this rule.If you make all of the other investment mistakes you might still recover over the long-term if you don’t make Mistake 12. The key to a consistently profit-able investment portfolio is to control the losses for each individual investment. The way you do that is

through risk management. I violated this principle by allowing the stock to go from a winner to zero.

Controlling losses in each investment lowers the risk profile of your portfolio, reduces its volatility, and can increase its return. This is not opinion but is math-ematically provable. I’ve spent decades researching investment strategy and have not found an exception to this rule. That is a big statement so please read it carefully.

Controlling losses when you make an investment mistake should be your primary concern. Learning from your losses should be your secondary concern.

Four QuesTIons so ThAT You cAn ProFIT FroM Your LossesBelow are four questions to ask yourself when an investment loses money so that you can turn a bad situation into something that creates a long-term benefit.

1 what is the Flaw in your investMent strategy that caused the loss?

(Hint: Blaming the loss on market conditions, bad investment advice, or bad luck is not acceptable because that’s not self-responsibility. You must de-termine what you did to cause the loss because ul-timately you are at fault.)How are you going to limit the amount of loss so that it doesn’t become cata-strophic? What is the exact mechanism and process?

2 what changes are you iMpleMenting in your investMent strategy so that

this loss serves as a spring-board to greater, More reliable proFits in the Future?What is your basis for believing this investment strategy change is valid? What studies, research

2rewardsbest for: People who

make the majority of their purchas-

es on a credit card and pay off the balance

each month.

Pros: Cards offer cash back, airline miles

or points toward purchasing select merchan-

dise based on the amount you spend. Some

rewards cards, for instance,

The first step in the risk management process

is to acknowledge the reality of risk. Denial

is a common tactic that substitutes deliberate

ignorance for thoughtful planning.

~ Charles Tremper

Cut your losses and let your profits run.

~ American Proverb

what card is right for you?

36 І August 2012

Todd R. Tresidder is a retired hedge fund manager who built his net worth through investing – not marketing investment informa-tion like some other financial gurus. He now works as a money

coach and enjoys writing about advanced per-sonal finance and investment strategy. When he's not creatively pounding on the keyboard you'll find him backpacking or carving a telemark turn in the mountains. He's an avid runner, cyclist, and swimmer who gets his adventure through travelling – not investing

ToDD r. TresIDDer

Who wants to work forever? No, I didn’t ask who wants to live forever, but who wants to work for-ever. When I got out of high school I said there’s no way I’m going to work till I’m old. Then I started working and wondered how I was ever going to get to stop working if they didn’t pay me enough to save for it. And there’s the kicker. You may not get paid enough, but you can most definitely save… at least some or hopefully more.

But should you invest in a roth IrA, Tradition-al IrA, 401k, 529 plans or maybe become a day trader? Good question, but one thing all of these have in common is they work off the principal of compounding interest. so before you learn about those investment options you must first learn and understand how compounding interest works. And by learning this you will want to seize the day and be on your way towards financial freedom.

and market history can you cite as evidence show-ing your conclusions are factual and will lead to more consistent profits in the future?The answers to these four questions could be worth a fortune to you over your lifetime. They can turn each tempo-rary loss into a long-term profit as you improve your investment skills and knowledge with every mistake made. These questions can springboard your in-vestment performance by focusing your attention on what works, what doesn’t, and why.

It is important that you ask these questions after every investment loss because what you do with your losses will ultimately determine your wealth. I’m living proof of that truth.

by Todd R. Tresidder

currently offer as much as 5 percent

cash back on select purchases with no

annual fee.

cons: Some cards have high inter-

est rates and annual fees that cancel out

the reward benefits. Other have compli-

cated and unfavorable redemption policies.

Always read the offer carefully.

…life is change, and a lot of that is loss. It’s what you

gain from that loss that makes life.

~ Thomas Jane

recHarGe! wealth

2012 August І 37

Jon-the Saver-Elder is a personal finance nut who runs a growing blog over at www.freemoney-wisdom.com. He has a passion for transforming people's financial lives and helping Americans stay

out of debt. In his free time, Jon loves to go to the gym and play scrabble with his wife.

Jon eLDer

Consider this:If you started today, putting aside $100 every month and it compounded annually at a 7% rate of return (this is conservative), after 30 years you’d have $121,287. Or you could lock that up in a box under your floors and in the same amount of time it’ll total up to a whopping amount of only $36000. see the difference? (If you want to put in your own values, Google compounding interest calculator and try it out.)still not sure how compounding interest works? don’t worry, I didn’t get it the first time I heard about it.This example helped me wrap my brain around it.First year: $1200 ($100 month) x 7% = $84 in interestsecond year: $1284 (1st yr) + $1200 (2nd yr) x 7% = $173.88

At the end of the second year you’ll have $2657.88 total when you only put in $2400. Follow this for 30 years and you’ll have $121,287…..don’t save early and in 30 years compounding interest will no longer be an option. This is a simplified example. In reality there are other options like monthly, quarterly, bi-annually com-pounding that you’ll need to consider. But the goal is to understand compounding interest and make it work for you.

Want to know how long it’ll take for your investment to double? It’s called the rule of 72. All you have to do is divide the rate of return (aka interest rate) into 72. The result is an estimate of how long it’ll take to dou-ble your value. For example 72 divided by 8% (interest

rate) equals 9 years to double whatever amount you started with.

so what’s the deal? Why does it sound so sim-ple yet all I hear is how everyone at retirement age hasn’t saved enough for retirement. Is the problem compounding interest or that people aren’t saving enough? Well, it’s a bit of both. The biggest catch to compounding interest is that the younger you start the more years your interest compounds and the more you have saved in the end. so you really do want to start now.

According to standardandpoors.com, from Janu-ary 1970 to december 2009 (30 years), the average annual compounded rate of return for the s&P 500, in-cluding reinvestment of dividends, was approximately 10.1%. The s&P 500 is a good example because it is an INdeX fund that’s comprised of the top 500 leading companies in leading industries of the Us economy.Here’s a little fun fact:Warren Buffett, the founder of Berkshire Hathaway, started with only $9800 in 1955 and today is worth $44 billion.

In the April issue of ForbesLife magazine he said, “The thing is, when I got out of college, I had $9,800, but by the end of 1955, I was up to $127,000. I thought, I’ll go back to Omaha, take some college classes, and read a lot–I was going to retire! I figured we could live on $12,000 a year, and off my $127,000 asset base, I could easily make that. I told my wife, “Compound interest guarantees I’m going to get rich.”

by Jon Elder

3securedbest for: Someone with has gotten into trouble with credit

cards in the past.Pros: Most secured cards report to the three credit bureaus, so using one

responsibly can be a way to establish or repair your credit rating.cons: The secured part means

what card is right for you?

the goal is to understand

compounding interest and make

it work for you

38 І August 2012

uncle sam

wants

to help

you with

summer

camp

costs

you put down a deposit, usually between $200 and $250, with your application. Many secured cards

have high interest rates and an-nual fees. Read the fine print very carefully. 4student

best for: College students who can handle money responsibly.

Ask a working parent how they feel about sum-mer and you may be surprised. Thoughts of beaches, barbeques, and balmy days at the

ballpark are often overshadowed by something much less exotic – concerns about childcare.

If you have children under the age of 13, and you need childcare so that you can work, look for work, or attend school full-time, you are in luck. dependent care flexible spending accounts (“FsAs”) can save you up to 40% on a wide range of childcare-related costs.

I’m continually amazed at how many people have access to this valuable benefit at work, but don’t utilize it. The three most common reasons I hear for people not taking advantage of this employee benefit are: (1) A belief that dependent care FsAs only cover a few scenarios, (2) A perception that the cost savings aren’t

that great, (3) A feeling that there is too much paper-work involved to make participation in a dependent care FsA worthwhile.

That’s why I’ve teamed up with WageWorks on a na-tionwide campaign to help hard working employees bet-ter understand this valuable workplace benefit. so let’s take a look at each of these three common concerns.

1 what exactly is covered by a depen-dent care Fsa? You can use these funds for

before- or after-school care or special programs, a babysitter or nanny, and even the cost of day camps during the summer or other school holidays for any children under the age of 13. For a full list of eligible dependent care expenses, click here. And since it’s the rare family who isn’t feeling a tightening of the wal-let, it’s worth noting that there are summer camp

recHarGe! wealth

2012 August І 39

Pros: Students can qualify for these cards without an established credit rating. Many offer extra benefits such

as cash back or bookstore discounts.cons: Some companies charge higher interest rates for students. It's easy for

students who are inexperienced with han-dling credit cards and finances in general to rack up unmanageable debts quickly.

Manisha Thakor is on a mission to help American women learn how to live their lives from a posi-tion of financial strength. Manisha’s financial literacy advocacy work has been featured in national publications such as: The New York Times, BusinessWeek, US News & World Report, Glam-our, Real Simple, and Women’s Day. Manisha’s national TV appearances include CNN, CNBC, and NBC Nightly News. In addition to blogging about personal finance for The Huffington Post, Manisha is a bi-monthly contributor to the NPR show "51% – The Women’s Perspective," monthly

columnist for Military.com, and periodic web contributor for NOW on PBS. Prior to this Manisha spent 15 years working in the financial services industry as an analyst, portfolio manager, and client service executive. Manisha received her BA from Wellesley College in 1992, her MBA from Harvard Business School in 1997 and is a Char-tered Financial Analyst (CFA) charterholder. Manisha and her husband split their time between Houston, TX and Santa Fe, NM. To learn more about Manisha, visit her website, www.ManishaThakor.com.

MAnIshA ThAKor

options in almost all budget ranges. According to the American Camp Association fees for a full week of day camp can start at as little as $75 while the upper end can be in the $800 plus range (note: overnight camp fees are not FsA eligible expenses). On top of this, over 90% of camps offer some form of financial assistance (“camperships”) while others offer discounts for things like multiple enrollments from one family. Combining all available discounts with a dependent care account can make summer childcare much more affordable.

2 how Much Money you can save by us-ing a dependent care Fsa? Let’s start with

a quick review of how these accounts work. As with pre-tax accounts for healthcare and commuter costs, a dependent care FsA allows parents to select a spe-cific amount of money during their firm’s open enroll-ment period to have deducted from their paycheck throughout the year before taxes. This lowers both your taxable income and the amount of income taxes you owe. And the money you withdraw from your FsA for eligible expenses is not taxed either. Or said slightly differently, using an FsA to pay for qualified expenses is like being handed a coupon for up to 40% on a pur-chase you were going to make anyway. (Click here for a nifty calculator you can use to assess the cost sav-ings of your particular situation).

3 are Fsas too Much work? FsA participa-tion is a simple three-step process. First, review the

list of eligible expenses and estimate how much you will be spending in the coming year. second, during open

enrollment season (typically during the fall) you decide how much you want to contribute to your dependent care (and/or healthcare and commuter) FsA. In the case of dependent care FsAs, the maximum amount that can be contributed at present is $5,000. Note, healthcare and commuter FsAs are subject to different contribution limits, you can read more about all types of FsAs at SaveSmartSpendHealthy.com and FSAFeds.com). Also note that if you have what is called a “qualify-ing life event” such as getting married, divorced, wid-owed, birth or adoption of a child, or if you experience a significant rate hike in the cost of your childcare… you can adjust what’s called your “FsA election” or how much you are choosing to contribute. Third, you pay those dependent expenses and then simply submit a claim with supporting receipts – and you will get those funds reimbursed back to you (and many firms allow you to receive those funds via direct deposit).

If you’ve already signed up for a dependent care FsA, this is a great time of year to ensure you are mak-ing the most of those FsA dollars. And if you haven’t enrolled yet, let this article inspire you to talk to your Human resources department ahead of this fall’s open enrollment period so you are in the best shape possible to maximize the fun and sun of summer.are you making the most of your dependent care Fsa?

by Manisha Thakor

what card is right for you?

40 І August 2012

straightforward, practical and positive, soLD TV is a web television show for sales professionals, sales executives and anyone interested in mastering the art and science of selling.

Hosted by John Von Achen, each week soLD TV delivers original ideas, relevant strategies and invaluable inspiration to add power and results to your sales career.

And, most probably, you will start closing more sales more often (even in the tough times)

Watch soLD TV today!www.soldlab.com/tv

WILL YOU CLOse MOre THIs YeAr?MAYBe soLD TV CAN HeLP?

Meet John Von AchenKnown as one of the most respected sales experts in the emerging markets of europe, Asia, russia and the C.I.s., John Von Achen has become a legend when it comes to helping individuals and organizations achieve their maximum performance.

Through his thought provoking seminars and ex-ceedingly popular books, John Von Achen reaches an audience of tens of thousands from around the world every month.

Because of his record for enhancing corporate and personal achievement, small progressive compa-nies, medium sized enterprises, Fortune 500 com-panies and multinational organizations regularly turn to John Von Achen for their sales training, coaching and consulting needs.

www.johnva.com

olympic gold winners: what’s their secret?W

hat if you think you are doing all the

right things but are miss- i n g the most important strategy for success? Maybe you are someone who uses the latest technology to fol-low your investments, you regularly balance your checkbook and you schedule an annual review of your financial situation. But what re-ally boosts your prosperity? Your inside game – working on the mental conditioning needed to be financially successful.

The United states Olym-pic Committee (UsOC) has 4 full-time psychologists on staff to help their elite athletes with mental conditioning. Here’s what they say on their website: “Both re-search and our experi-ence strongly suggest that as athletes move up into the elite ranks, mental training skills become as im-portant as the physical side of the sport.”

recenT TrAInInG reseArch dr. david Hamilton (Institute of Sports Science research)

writes about recent research carried out at the Institute of sports science

at the Justus Liebig Univer-sity Giessen in Germany. They

compared 5 different groups of people. The first group did 100% of a

training program physically, the next group did 75% of the training physi-

cally and 25% of the training in their minds, the third group did 50% physically and 50% mentally, the fourth group did

25% physically and 75% mentally and the last group did not train.

ready for this…there was only a very small difference in physical im-provement between the group do-ing 100% of the training in the gym and the group only doing 25% of the work in the gym and 75% of the train-ing mentally. It is important to note

that mental training must be done the same amount of time as the other groups’ physical training to achieve these results, but WOW you might actually be able to do your workout while lying around on the couch! Our

minds are so incredibly powerful.

PIcTure Your FInAncIAL GoALs AnD see oPPor-TunITIesThis type of mental training is not just effec-tive for physical activities. We can use

42 І August 2012

think right about Your Money

recHarGe! columns

mental training for our financial suc-cess as well.

There is a small part of the brain called the reticular activating system (rAs) which acts as a filter for important information between your conscious and subcon-scious mind. This is what helps us to hear our name being called across a crowded room, but ig-nore the background noise of glasses clinking. We have the ability to actually help to program our rAs. The more you program your rAs with thoughts and pictures of your goals, the more likely you are to be open to seeing the opportuni-ties to help create these goals.

3 KeYs To Pro-GrAMMInG Your rAs

1choose a Time When

You Are calmsome of the best times to picture your goals are right when you wake up in the morning and right before you fall asleep at night. Another wonderful time is right after meditation or during exercise when your mind is calm.

2 Focus on What You Want It is crucial that you focus on what you want to

have happen as opposed to what you don’t what to happen. Your rAs is not very discriminating. If you focus on what you don’t want, for example if you say to yourself, “I don’t want to have to worry about

Ellen shows people how to be great with money. Through over 20 years as a successful entrepreneur in the financial services industry and as a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNERTM professional, Ellen understands that many people have an uneasy and complicated relation-ship with their money. People undergo great anxiety as well as great joy in their financial lives. Ellen is hired by corporations, women's initiatives, organizations and associations to take the complex area of money and make it easy. Learn more about Ellen at www.ellenrogin.com

eLLen roGIn cPA, cFP®

money,” your rAs will focus on worry-ing about money. Instead, focus on “I have financial freedom.” Create a specific mental picture of what fi-

nancial freedom looks like to you. For example: Where do you live? How do you spend your time? Who is with you?

3 Feel the sensation of success

Here’s another crucial part of the formula. As you are pic-

turing your goals, make sure to feel the emotion you will

feel when your goal happens. If you are not sure how you will feel, before you start the visualization process think back to a time when you felt very suc-cessful. How did you feel then? Happy? ex-cited? Calm? Actually feel this emotion as you are creating your men-tal picture of accom-plishment.

This visioning pro-cess will train your mind for success. It is so easy in today’s economy to focus on volatility and problems. stop it! If this is what you focus on, you will find lots of evidence to support your experience of problems. Instead, if you look for the opportunities that arise in times of change, you will find those. As Henry Ford said: “If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right”

by Ellen Rogin CPA, CFP®

If you think you can do a thing or think

you can’t do a thing, you’re right

2012 August І 43

recHarGe! columns accelerate Your results!

from tim ferriss & warren Buffett to tony robbins & seth godin

How to CrEatE world-Class rElationsHiPs44 І August 2012

recHarGe!

social

W hat do Warren Buffett, Tim Fer-riss, Tony robbins, Leo Ba-bauta and seth Godin have in common?

Other than being bad asses, the common thread is I’ve spent time and con-nected with all of them. some have even become good friends. I had no special introductions or existing re-lationships to make this happen. It comes down to a process and philosophy, and it’s all repeatable.

I’d like to tell you how I did it.

IT’s noT ALL ABouT The InTerneTIn the last 10 months I’ve grown my blog from 114 to over 3,300 subscribers. Contrary to popular web mar-keting jargon, the Internet was not the cause of this snowballing.

To be honest, the web was required to gather my audience, but it’s not why it happens.

Technology was simply one of my means. But the key to my traction was what happened offline.

I did all the bootcamps and took all the courses. diligently tested all of the suggestions and worked my ass off to create the best content I could. But this doesn’t necessarily ensure the audience mushroom effect everyone hopes for. There’s plenty of blogs out there that get nowhere despite doing the above and often much more.Why?

In TWo WorDs: PersonAL connecTIon.It’s easy to forget such an ancient art in an era where everyone can hide behind a flashy blog banner and tiny laptop. But remember that the web, a blog, cell phones, twitter and all the other trinkets that weren’t around 5, 10 or 15 years ago are nothing more than

modern day tools. While you can do plenty of things with these tools, more than anything they are here to help us better connect.

Unfortunately for most of us, they’re doing the op-posite.

Behind every post, every comment, every tweet and every page view is an actual set of eyeballs inside a brain that makes up a unique human being.

This is not something to be taken lightly.I have met more rock stars in this space and others

because I keep that close in mind (Tim Ferriss, Leo Ba-bauta, Tony robbins, Chris Guillebeau, richard Leider, seth Godin, Keith Ferrazzi (I credit his book, Never Eat Alone, with a lot of the connections mentioned in the post), Rolf Potts and Warren Buffett to name a few). Most importantly I care about the genuine connection more than anything.

so I propose we take a step back from social me-dia, headline writing and keyword optimizing and look at the big picture.

9 WAYs To recLAIMInG GenuIne connecTIon

1be genuinely interested. It all starts here. The person and connection come first. don’t

have another agenda. so many people go to network-ing events or send emails and notes asking for one thing or another. That’s not what it’s about. Only go for a connection if you actually care about making that person a part of your life.

2 pay attention. Notice the things they do. What they like. What they write about. The adven-

tures they have. Birthdays or other big life events. Only follow a few people on Twitter and subscribe to a few blogs. The ones you really want to learn from and the writers with whom you want to spend time. Take note

3 stand out and connect. sadly this is eas-ier than you’d think, because so few people

In all this technology we get lost from the fact that life still revolves

around one thing and one thing only – genuine personal connection.

~ Unknown

2012 August І 45

recHarGe! social

on the web are doing it. don’t ask for anything in return. Just write a short two sentence email or Tweet thank-ing them for their work or something specific they did. You could even specifically mention you aren’t asking anything of them. You just wanted them to know you appreciate their work.

4 give with no intention oF receiving. Most people think they have nothing to give to a

famous entrepreneur, blogger or other high profile person. Wrong. If nothing else, just say thank you. And mean it. A big time writer and mentor of mine came to town recently and I spent two hours writing up a list of activities and restaurants for him and his family to check out. Why? Because I would have appreciated the same if I was new to town. In the past months he’s become one of the better like-minded barefoot run-ning crossfitting buddies I have in town. Giver’s high is awesome. Get out and experience it.

5 link to theM. Links are the ultimate form of giving online. And they’re free. If you like some-

thing, be sure to call it out in your work and link to them. Then send them a Tweet mentioning your call out. They probably won’t respond but I as-

sure you they’ll see it. david Garland’s recent article How to Interview and Build Relationships with Influ-ential People is a killer resource on using your blog to make connections.

6 create experiences. People love mem-ories and stories. That’s what makes life real

– I don’t care how famous you are. Two years ago I wrote Warren Buffett a letter asking for help in pick-ing out an engagement ring for my girlfriend. I had paid attention over the years and knew that Warren owned a jewelry shop, loved good looking women and held marriage as the most important thing to get right. so I sent him a note and a picture of us. I did not expect a response. I just thought it’d be fun. One day later I got a letter back from Warren. Yes, the letter was postmarked one day later. He set me up with the CeO of his jewelry company and rolled out the red carpet. My engagement story just got a few notches better…

Later that year at his Annual Meeting in Oma-ha I found myself at the who’s who cocktail party of

the weekend (I had told my engagement story to someone, which helped get me in the door). every big time author and investor in the space appeared to be there. At least five name tags had Buf-fett on them. Then out of nowhere, as I walked up to a group of people to say

hello, a woman gave a scream and

make a note of where your favorite people are around the world

46 І August 2012

embraced me with a huge hug. It was debbie, War-ren’s assistant of 30 years. she thanked me for making them a part of my engagement and said Warren and her were loving seeing the story unfold.

Not only had I created a rockin experience for my-self, but I had created one for Warren and those close to him. How cool is that? I have since made 30+ mean-ingful connections as a result of that night. And it didn’t stop there. The next day Becky Quick of CNBC got wind of my story and gave me a 30-second impromp-tu interview. My mind was blown.

7 take pictures. People love this. Post them, email them, Tweet them or even better yet, snail

mail them. It’s my favorite way to quickly connect and it keeps your name and face in the front of their mind. I always carry a camera and follow up on any meeting with pictures. The giving continues.

8 get Face to Face. This is the holy grail. It’s difficult when across the country but if you care

enough you can usually make it happen. Make a note of where your favorite people are around the world. When are they off traveling, in town for a talk or when might you be on their turf? Offer to buy coffee or even better, get out for a workout or walk. Be different and give them something fun to do.

If you will only have a minute or two to make an im-pression after a speech or event then have your intro ready. Take it seriously. do it before they get on the stage if possible – much fewer people will be clamor-ing for their time.

It’s so easy for an email or Twitter connection to get lost in the sea of thousands of followers. You stand out as soon as your name turns into a face, a voice and a personality. Go to any length you can to make this hap-pen. start with skype if you must.

9 be vulnerable. Be open. sharing something un-comfortable or non public with someone about your-

self has an amazing way of creating a deeper connection. rapport will appear almost out of nowhere. But don’t do it just to do it. Pick something you know that person would appreciate or could help you with. Lay yourself out there. It will likely be reciprocated. I just watched a killer Ted talk on Vulnerability if you need some inspiration.

Be PATIenTrelationships do not happen overnight. And if they do they are likely unnatural. Friendships and bonds build over time. If you show interest and care enough, the connection will happen at some point. don’t rush it. Without patience you will likely stop short of most of what I’ve mentioned.

PATIence In AcTIon WITh TIM FerrIss:For years I had wanted to hang out with Tim Ferriss. His book, The 4-Hour Workweek, had dramatically changed my life (and that of about 22 friends and counting) and I thought we’d get along well. I had no agenda, just interest. I started to comment on his blog and Twitter as well as get to know his assistant pretty well and helped her with a few things as time went on.

Then randomly a few years ago when I was in Omaha for Warren Buffett’s annual meeting I ran into Tim and we got to chat for 5 or 10 minutes. sweet. Afterwards I tried to keep in touch but since he doesn’t technically use email, I didn’t have much luck (other than a bit of blog and twitter chatter).

I continued doing my thing and just a few months ago a good friend was going on a workout with Tim and knew how much I respected his work so he asked me to come along. The experience was freakin’ awe-some (and exhausting–kettlebells will do that to you). I’ve even seen him a bit since. My guess is that won’t be the last time as we now have a number of friends in common. That was 4 years in the making.

PATIence In AcTIon WITh TInA su:Another example started about 3 years ago when I first started reading blogs. I came across Tina su’s Think-SimpleNow and absolutely loved it. I saw that we had read similar books and I decided to write her an email to say thanks and congrats on what she’d built (I love writing random notes of congratulations to people). I didn’t even have a blog back then so I clearly had no second agenda in mind. Over the years I sent her a short message here and there.

Then I began to build this site and realized how awesome it would be to write for her and her 18,000+ readers one day. soon after, I noticed she hadn’t been posting very frequently anymore. so I wrote a short note asking what was going on and if I could help with an article. It turns out she had recently had a baby (which I knew from paying attention to her work) and being an overwhelmed new mom, was grateful for my offer. That guest post acceptance started 3 years be-fore I knew a guest post even existed.

WouLD You rATher LInK To A FrIenD or A sTrAnGer?While there’s no question that getting big guest posts on A Listers’ sites and as many high quality links to your site is the formulaic way to create a massive following,

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2012 August І 47

to fully execute on that requires a genuine connection. I routinely link to great sites in my work and they rou-tinely link back to me. And while the connection may start online, the magic tends to happen in person.

Just think, would you rather link to a cool site that you don’t know the author or a cool site where the au-thor is a friend? Obvious. The last 15 guest posts I’ve pitched have been accepted on sites with between 12k and 250k+ followers. I had a connection with all of them first.

did you know that Tim Ferriss had over 63 blogs and sites link to him or offer him interviews and guest posts within the same few days/weeks of the launch of his new book The 4-Hour Body?! And these were all the most highly traffic sites on earth. That’s unreal. do you think he “sold” all of them on it? No way. He’d been building these friendships for years.

It’s not magic. It’s not just about crafting the perfect email pitch. sure, all that helps, but without a human connection behind the black and white text, you’ll be nowhere. I don’t care if you run a blog, the local yoga studio or a multinational. The world runs off human connection.

surrounD YourseLF WITh exceLLence.While it’s quite possible to create world class connec-tions on your own, it can help tremendously to become part of a group. This is the biggest benefit I see in busi-ness school. But you don’t have to spend $150k in tu-ition to meet a group of cool people who will help you change the world. There are groups everywhere. Many are free and some may cost a few hundred or even a few thousand dollars to join. They’re worth every pen-ny if you use the above and go at it with authenticity.

Our standards and expectations are a direct func-tion of those of our peer group. There’s no question about it. surround yourself with people who will test your limits and your limits will expand. But no one’s go-ing to do it for you.

Here’s a very small taste of some groups to get you started (I budget about $2-4k a year on communities like these): Summit Series for the global business builders of tomorrow World Domination Summit for bloggers and online entrepreneurs Entrepreneurs Organization membership for early stage entrepreneurs Young Presidents Organizations membership for more developed leaders

South by Southwest is where all kinds of peo-ple out to change the world get together (wish I were there right now!) Blog World says it all in the name – Any entre-preneur-minded person welcome. A-List Blogger Club membership for every blogger from brand new to pro Burning Man for all non-conformists and in-teresting folks around world (I plan to “burn” this year…no, not like that) Toastmasters Clubs membership of all kinds of people who care about communicating NameSake is a community for people who love to create. See comments below for an invitation. Berkshire Annual Meeting and Value Investor Congress for pros and amateurs serious about value investing

connecT BecAuse You LoVe IT. no oTher reAson.The second you attempt to connect with some other agenda, is the second you will be seen as a fraud. Hu-mans have relatively good sensors for this, especially if they are humans with big followings.

For me there is nothing more valuable to my life than genuine connections and relationships. I love making friends. so that’s why I connect. If one of them decides to promote my business or to link their massive follow-ing to me then awesome. But that’s not the goal. For me, winning is making the friend. Any other bonus as a result is welcomed buy not expected.The web is nothing more than a tool. don’t forget that.It all comes back to connection.so who’s on your list?

Who do you commit to connecting with in the next month? Make it someone big and famous. share your connection goal in the comments below. The results will blow your mind.

by Scott Dinsmore

Scott Dinsmore is the founder of LiveYourLegend, where he writes and helps people discover pas-sion & purpose and do work they love. Check out his latest articles or download his free Epic Work Toolkit.

scoTT DInsMore

48 І August 2012

Life Coaches tend to use positive, encouraging words to motivate clients to action. sometimes they use a golf club to the frontal lobe. This post is more the latter than the former. Hang on, because this is going to be fun for some and miserable for others.

Are you a dad who plays ball with his sons and teaches his daughter how to ride a bike without train-ing wheels? Or are you the dad who sits on the couch watching sports Center or checking your email yet again, too “busy”?

Passivity has become a sport among some groups of men. They let others make all the decisions for them and for those they care about. They’re all too quick to step back and let others take the lead; too afraid to actively pursue those relationships. And because of it these men are utterly useless.

Here are four reasons to start taking an active role in your family, and a little encouragement to get you started.

Passive Dads can’t LeadLeadership takes many forms, but passive dads fail at all of them. They don’t cast a vision, don’t set a plan, don’t take steps to achieve the goal they nev-er bothered to set, and don’t motivate others to-wards action.

Passive dads don’t realize the impact they have on the ones they care for the most when they fail to act. sitting back and letting life happen will not re-sult in good things. read or listen to any interview from a person you respect. Go ahead, do it now. Just Google “[your hero's name] interview” and see what comes up.

Or I can save you time. The punchline is nobody you admire or respect has earned your admira-tion and respect by letting life happen to them. You shouldn’t either.

Passive Dads create Passive sonsA son’s primary resource for learning what a man is supposed to be (good or bad) is his dad. A dad’s char-acter traits are replicated in his sons.

It’s born into a boy to want to be like his dad. f his dad yells, he yells. If his dad drinks, he drinks. If his dad avoids confrontation, he avoids confrontations. Not every time without fail, but more often than not you can see a man’s character through the actions of his boy.

When a father is passive, he trains his son to be pas-sive also. some boys see this trait in their father and react against it, overcoming passivity only to become boorish brutes who try to take control rather than lead. Both are sad outcomes.

PassiVE dads suCK

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2012 August І 49

Passive Dads create Weak Daughtersresearch shows a daughter’s sense of self-worth is closely related to her relationship with her dad. If he values her, she feels cherished. If he neglects her, she’ll feel discarded.

Little girls take comfort in knowing their dad can and will protect and provide. It’s like having a brick house during a thunder storm rather than a Coleman tent.

When dad shies away from conflict, it places doubt in that little girl’s heart as to if her dad will slink away when she need protection. It doesn’t take kids long to realize that while we dads may say we will love our girls and will keep them safe, what we say and what they see don’t always match up.

Passive Dads Inspire nobodyAlexander the Great didn’t become great by sitting back and playing his X-box 360B.C. He became great by setting a goal, setting a plan, and setting out to make that plan a reality.

This kind of action inspires people. It makes men’s hearts bleed with passion. It’s the sort of active mind-set that convinces others to build pyramids, construct floating cities, and travel into the ether of space.

Passivity can never inspire others to action. It can only irritate others to act on your behalf. That’s not the same thing.

so What’s a Guy to Do?Want to start stepping up but not sure how? Here are a few tips to get you started.

start smallTake the initiative to plan a date with your wife, take a walk with your daughter, or play ball with your son.

expect to FailOf course you’ll fail. everyone does, but nobody is go-ing to laugh at you for it. They’ll be too thrilled to see you engaging your family to even care if you don’t get it right straight away.

Don’t over Do ItTaking the lead doesn’t mean being a controlling jerk. Think servant leader, not dictator.

GrowIt won’t feel natural. don’t expect it to. But often the things that stretch and grow us are the very things that feel most uncomfortable.

Are or were you a passive guy? Are you married to one? share your story in the comments.

by Dean Mehrkens

Dean is a husband and father of eight who is dedicated to help-ing families identify, clarify, and achieve their goals of lasting happi-ness and fulfillment. His passion for family success drives him as a life

coach, author, and human being.

DeAn MehrKens

It’s born into a boy to want to be like

his dad

50 І August 2012

However, she has already informed her mother and me her car will be packed and she will be ready to pull out of Lawrence, Kansas and head

back home as soon as she completes her last exam.While Mary Beth and I are looking forward to spend-

ing the summer with our daughter, we just hope her re-turn to the nest will be equally successful.

In anticipation of her return home, my wife and I have been discussing how to embrace this change to our rou-tine. We want the next few months to be happy and pro-ductive ones for the sake of the entire family. We have settled on these five ways to cope when our daughter comes home, again. I hope you will find these useful too:

1establish soMe ground rules. The first place to start is with establishing, and communicat-

ing, the house rules have not gone away, even though Caitlin has been away from the house for the past 10 months. Things like curfew times, noise levels, keep-ing up with assigned household chores and friends coming over will all be redefined and enforced.

Being part of a family is a privilege. The ability to enjoy a comfortable home, food in the fridge, cable television and a computer with a fast Internet con-nection all come with responsibilities. The most fun-damental of these responsibilities is to be account-able and to follow the family-approved rules. No one is exempt for these and there are no exceptions.

2 set boundaries. I have resigned myself to the fact that the peace and quiet Mary Beth and have en-

joyed since last August will be interrupted over the sum-mer months. This is not an indictment or criticism about Caitlin’s behavior; it’s just being honest to say our house has a lot more energy in it when our daughter is here.

With that said, my wife and I still have a right to pri-vacy and to our personal space. It’s important for all of

us to have some personal space to retreat to when the need arises.

3caitlin’s contributions. In addition to respecting the house rules, there is also an ex-

pectation our daughter will contribute to the family in other ways, too. Helping with dinner, getting emily, our younger daughter, to and from where she needs to go, and pitching in with the laundry will all be expected contributions.

When children return home, they should not be considered as invited guests, but as fully engaged and productive members of the family. Their contributions, however, are not limited to how they can help their par-ents; their presence, spirit and love are all valuable contributions as well.

4 cultivate an adult relationship. It’s very fulfilling watching our children grow up and

grow in to becoming mature and responsible adults. An expectation Catlin may have this summer is to be treat-ed as an adult – I can’t wait to meet her expectation.

five ways to Cope when your Child returns to the nest

Final exams at Kansas university are only a few weeks away.

My daughter, Caitlin, has been working very hard and

will successfully complete her freshmen year in very good

academic standing. Caitlin has learned a lot about being on

her own and other important life skills, too.

When children return home,

they should not be considered as

invited guests

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2012 August І 51

a PrimEr on soCial

nEtworKing for BoomErs

We invest some much time and effort in our chil-dren when they are young. This investment yields very, very favorable returns when we get to experi-ence them as adults.

The years of reading bedtime stories and believ-ing in santa Claus are indeed magical. The time spent talking about who should win the next presidential election over a cold beer can be just as delightful. Gradually, and without much notice, our children be-come our friends.

I’m looking forward to finding out more about the reasons behind Caitlin’s choice for president. I’m look-ing forward to nurturing an adult relationship with my daughter this summer.

5create an exit strategy. As the August days begin to get shorter, so will our time with Cait-

lin. With every homecoming, there is also a farewell.When my daughter pulls up into the driveway in a

couple of weeks, no one will be thinking about the day she will need to back out and head for Lawrence. It will be important to drop-in reminders of the inevitable de-parture along the way.

Within a few days of her return home, we will quickly develop a new routine and grow accustomed to her new-found presence in the house. We will also need to help transition her back to her college life.

shopping for new items for her apartment, gradu-ally giving her more autonomy as the summer wanes into the fall, and planning the Thanksgiving holiday de-tails when we will unite as a family again, are all things we can do to help with the transition from the nest and back into her independence.

Thomas Wolfe may suggest “you can’t go home again,” but you can welcome your child home again and begin building a new relationship that can be sus-tained for the rest of your lives together.

by Alex Blackwell

Alex Blackwell is the Founder of The BridgeMaker. His book, How to Love Consciously, is now available as a free download here. Join Alex and The BridgeMaker community on Facebook and don’t

forget to get your free subscription to receive up-dates and exclusive content.

ALex BLAcKWeL

While sifting through old photos at her mother’s farm last week, my wife uncovered one of those pictures worth a thousand words. It was a photo of a social network from 1951.

The phrase “social network” seems so easy to understand. Yet, whenever I bring it up with folks 45+, including business clients, and even some 20 year-olds, I get glazed looks. My tone assumes that they know what I’m talking about, but they don’t, yet they think they should so they look like they do.

For those of us who are trying to evangelize and profit from this social networking stuff, we need a simple illustration to explain to the unwashed why we obsess over this concept and why they should as well. It could be a chart or an infographic or a story. Just make sure the illustration is less com-plicated than the phrase.

I think I’ve found my explanation in this vintage photo.

Think of the circular, defined space of the pool as a networking site. What draws the kids there is a combination of experiencing something novel, hav-ing fun with other kids, and the possibilities of what each of them can do with the water – splash, learn to swim without fear, see what floats. The content of the pool is critical: no water, no community.

The kids picked up the buzz about the social event from overhearing their parents at supper and from the pool’s young owner, who talked it up at the playground. Plus, kids back then were always scanning for something to do, something surprising, and spent lots of time moving around. As baby-boomer author Bill Bryson remembers: “Kids were always outdoors– I knew kids who were pushed out the door at 8 in the morning and not allowed back in until 5 unless they were on fire or actively bleeding.”

The pool crowd in the photo came from the same neighborhood, had similar interests, knew all of the kids on their block well, and occasionally played

52 І August 2012

Richard Skaare, of SkaareWorks LLC, consults and coaches on communication, change, and or-ganizational development. Learn more at www.skaareworks.com

rIchArD sKAAre

with children on other streets. They were nice to each other mostly, were okay with the kids who didn’t join in the group regularly, disagreed with each other at times, and always came back to the group for more of what-ever glued them together.

Like social websites, they shared school pictures, loved to twitter endlessly with best pals about their ex-periences, told about their favorite books and disney movies, and talked about what they wanted to be when they grew up (sound familiar?).

Like any reputable site, navigating to the pool site was easy: the kids walked– with older siblings at this age but later alone. everyone knew shortcuts to their friend’s house, skipping through neighbors’ sites, slip-ping under holes in fences. Lots of links to get there.

At this pool-site, everyone was welcome. It was crowded but there was always room for one more. Once there, you didn’t have to all do the same thing. You could take a dip in the water or sit above the others along the edge and watch. You could bring toy phones and other playthings if you wanted, but who would want those things when you had cool people with whom you could gab or just be silly.

Notice the kid on the far right with the dark hair who seems to be leading the discussion. The boy in the back left with his tongue out is listening and prepar-

ing a response. The blond child at the front right who is staring at the camera is a future job-hunter trying to look good. The somewhat shy, serious girl behind her is glad to be there but doesn’t feel compelled to participate. The dark-haired girl picking her nose in the back is wondering if there is another pool elsewhere that she would enjoy more. The toe-haired boy on the left also looking at the camera is thinking what kind of pool he might want that would be bigger, better, and more diverse and inclusive.

And the adorable, curly-haired girl at the far left is dreaming about a handsome and wise knight in shin-ing armor that she will marry some day. Her dream came true: she married me.

by Richard Skaare

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2012 August І 53

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career

tiPs to KEEP smiling wHilst you

looK for a joB54 І August 2012

A dd to this the extra stress and worry if you aren't working and the whole thing can be quite challenging to stay smiling

and upbeat through the process.And it can be lonely without people with a common in-terest to talk to throughout the day, bounce your ideas off or even be able to express your frustrations or share your experiences with.

It can take a lot of optimism and positive thinking to keep smiling whilst you are looking for a job.

Yet staying positive, focused and proactive is es-sential to find opportunities and then be able to put your best foot forward.

A planned approach to your time and activities can make a big difference to the experience you have whilst you are looking for work. Here's 7 Tips to help keep you positive, focused and on the right track.

1get up, get dressed and get out– it's not hard to fall into the habit of hanging out in your paja-

mas for a few extra hours in the morning, sneaking in a quick game (Tetris, Angry Birds anyone?) and the day slipping away from you. Not only do you lose valuable job search time – it can become really demotivating and energy sapping.

This can take a bit of planning but make sure you have somewhere you need to be every day.some ideas include: Book in networking catch ups– they are part of the job search process anyway. Attend networking or other events in your industry or area of interest. Sign up for a course to develop or improve a skill set (you'll learn something and have people to talk to!) Have a coffee date with a friend, mentor or someone in your networkWhen you have somewhere you have to be it keeps

you in a 'working' routine and gives your day purpose. Not to mention you are much more likely to uncover

Looking for a job can be a demotivating experience –

frustration when you don't get responses to your applications,

angst about 'finding the right thing' and concern for your future.

And that's even when you still have a job you want to move on

job opportunities when you are about out and about talking to people than when you are sitting at home.

2 do what you'd regret you didn't do iF you had the tiMe. What I mean by that

is – Imagine that you have your shiny new job and you're happily heading off to work. You think to your-self, "If only I'd known that I would get this great role, I would have used some of the time I wasn't working to..." Whatever... is for you – go to the gym, take up photography, cook more, go and see your Mum, reor-ganize your closet – whatever it is – work out how to work it into your routine.

Work on the basis that you are going to be suc-cessful in your job search. Give yourself permission to spend time on what you want.

3 approach your job search like you would your work.Use the skills that you are

good at in a job to use in finding your next role. Wheth-er it's 'to-do' lists, mind maps, project plans – however you do your best work – use these to look for a job. When you can get into the zone where you excel at what you do – you will be much more productive than if you try and approach it in a way that is different from your usual working style.

4 set Milestones to achieve your plan. Know what you want to achieve in a day,

do it, tick it off and be satisfied that you are working towards your goal. If your only measure of success is getting a job – the process is not going to be much fun along the way. Have your own personal reward and recognition program and acknowledge when you've reached goals or achieved what you set out to on a daily or weekly basis.

5 do a task and Move on. If you have a planned set of activities– review job boards, check

LinkedIn, search Twitter, look at some preferred em-ployer websites for opportunities – do them and move on. doing extra searches or obsessing on a particular website is not going to make opportunities that aren't there appear.

2012 August І 55

recHarGe! career

6 work work hours. When you conduct your job search efficiently and with a plan – you don't

have to be preoccupied every hour of every day with looking for a job. Take time off and pace yourself. You don't want to get a new job and be so exhausted by the process of finding it that you can't be your best when you start.

7 talk about what you are doing. Look-ing for a job is nothing to be ashamed about. Talk to

your family/whoever you live with/or would talk about work with – about who you are meeting with, talking to, how many calls you have made – whatever it is you are doing. Let them know your routine and how you are approaching your job or looking for a job.

This can help others understand your job of looking for a job and that your time to do this is valuable. It can also help avoid falling into the trap of being asked to pick up the dry cleaning / get the car serviced / buy the groceries just because you don't have somewhere you have to be (implement Tip 1 and you will have some-where you have to be!) – as these tasks can really eat into your time. Be proud of what you are doing!

Have you got any tips that you've used when looking for a job? Let's chat!

by Karen Adamedes

Karen Adamedes is the author of “Hot Tips For Career Chicks” has been featured in Notebook, Cosmo-politan, Cleo, Madison and Working Women’s magazines. She has also appeared on national TV on 9 am

with David and Kim on Channel 10 and has been a panellist on a CareerOne Women’s forum. Karen is an experienced business executive, leader, speaker and author. She began her career in the back-office of a bank, earned her degree as a part-time student and progressed to a sales career. Working for market-lead-ers in Australia, Karen has pursued a successful ca-reer in sales, marketing, operations and management. Karen’s experience has provided her with insights into what works and why for women in the development and management of their careers and the realization of success. Read Karen’s blog: Career Chick Chat, Fol-low Karen on Twitter: @KarenAdamedes, Facebook Page Updates: Hot Tips For Career Chicks

KAren ADAMeDes

In business, people spend

a great deal of time and

money evaluating risk. It's one

of those things they teach in

MBA school.

"Don't do that, it's too risky."

risK

56 І August 2012

In business, people spend a great deal of time and money evaluating risk. It's one of those things they teach in MBA school. But are we looking at risk in the right way?

According to the American Bar Association, there were 1,143,358 resident and active attorneys in the United states in 2007 (the most recent data I could quickly find). That's over a million people, many of them advising businesses on what to avoid because it is risky.

They lawyers say things like: "don't let people blog and tweet because they may say something that gets the company in trouble." As I wrote last week, lawyers clamping down is especially true in highly regulated industries.

From the legal perspective, saying "no" might make sense (it avoids lawsuits). But thinking about risk in totality (instead of just what the lawyers think) is say-ing no the right way to do business? Frequently the businesses and the people saying "yes" to risk are the ones that succeed.

When the perceived risk is low, we tend to do okay evaluating a situation. Yes, it is risky to fly to the busi-ness meeting (the plane may crash) but we figure the risk is worth taking.

But when the risk seems high (starting a business or quitting your job to go freelance) we are unable to accurately evaluate the risk.

I think this is because we humans fail to evaluate the risk of staying the course. We don't evaluate the risk in *NOT* starting the business or keeping the job at the big company.

how's that big stable company working out for you?Perhaps your parents advised you to get a degree from a good university and then work for a nice, stable, well-known company. We're told that is the least risky path. But is it?

If you worked for Lehman Brothers or Washington Mutual or enron or your company had to downsize or your division was acquired or manufacturing moved to Laos or your boss thought you were too smart and

therefore a threat or the company moved to Atlanta or you hit 50 years old or any number of other scenarios – BOOM – you were out of a job. Unemployed.

When you put yourself at the mercy of an employer, you have significant risk. When you work in an industry in decline, you have significant risk.

The flip side of riskIn my experience, people fail to evaluate the risk of taking the opposite course. They look at risk without thinking the problem all the way through. What is the risk of *not* starting your business this year?What is the risk of *not* letting your employees com-municate via Facebook?What is the risk of *not* taking a few years off to travel with your rock band?What is the risk of *not* learning that new skill?What is the risk of *not* quitting your job and going freelance?Consider the opening line of this blog post again: "don't do that, it's too risky." Maybe the better statement is: "You had better do that, because it's too risky not to."

by David Meerman Scott

David Meerman Scott is a marketing strategist, keynote speaker, seminar leader, and the author of seven books published in more than 30 languages. David's book The New Rules of Market-ing & PR opened people's eyes to the new realities of marketing and public relations on the Web. Six months on the BusinessWeek bestseller list and published in more than 25 languages from Bulgarian to Vietnamese, New Rules is now a modern business classic.

DAVID MeerMAn scoTT

When you put yourself at the

mercy of an employer, you have

significant risk

recHarGe! career

2012 August І 57

Nature in its various manifestations is the man's greatest teacher. The eruption of desire to achieve success in human heart finds its paral-

lel in a geyser. Here are various tips to drill through the rock of inertia and make your life leap like a geyser for your success.

Life leaps like a geyser for those

willing to drill through the rock

of inertia. ~ Alexis Carrel

When I was 10 years old, our family vacation was to Yellowstone Park in Wyoming. I remember watching in awe as the Old Faithful geyser of its own free will and choice erupted out of what appeared from a distance to be solid rock, sending hot water and steam high in the air.

seven Calculated Choices to make your Career leap like a geyser

This experience made it possible for me to visualize the above quote by Alexis Carrel, "Life leaps like a geyser for those willing to drill through the rock of inertia."

Inertia is that quality keeping us at rest, or at the same level of achievement you had last month. To go from rest to action, to go from lethargic to energetic, to go from procrastination to productive work, requires an external force.

Just like Old Faithful, the desire for more success and achievement can erupt inside of you. When it does, take the time to reevaluate, reexamine, rethink, and re-organize – all activities geared to help you drill through the rock of inertia and heat tepid attempts at success into the sizzling, boiling actions that will send your ca-reer dancing like a geyser, erupting by its own free will and choice.

These seven calculated choices will help you drill through the rock of inertia to the success you have always wanted. Be bold and choose to:

1reevaluate and reexaMine your pur-pose. By reevaluating and reexamining your life will

you receive the gut feelings, the inspirations, and the rev-elations to take you to the next level you long for in your soul.

2 believe in your abilities. You are not hu-man if you have not had the desire to do, then

58 І August 2012

immediately had distinct feelings of inadequacy. For some strange reason, we doubt ourselves before we believe in our abilities. As your true potential is un-known, keep discovering who you are by unwavering belief in yourself.

3 plan, visualize, iMagine, and "pictur-ize" your Future. The majority of individuals

want success but expect it to come through the hoping and wishing process. However, the attainment of your personal dreams with great triumphs over the rock bed of inertia do not happen without detailed planning.

With detailed visualization, your subconscious mind becomes an efficient partner in your quest for such a property. For instance, instead of thinking, "I want a new home" visualize an estate with a 6,000 square foot house and a view from the top of a mountain that can't be dupli-cated anywhere in the world.

4 use ink, the Missing link. After your visu-alization process, you may wonder why you are not

on target. Your visualization process no doubt had you reaching the goal in record time. You may have omitted the "inking" part or the writing component of the planning process. By "inking" the goal, you embed permanent pic-tures in your subconscious mind for you to access any time you choose, permitting you to renew your passion and energy.

5 Move into Motion. individuals often miss op-portunities because opportunity is disguised as

work… work that requires exertion and perspiration. American Industrialist and founder of Getty Oil, J. Paul Getty said, "rise early. Work late. strike oil." You can't read that statement without envisioning hard work and the rewards of persistent toil.

6 be resolute and deterMined. As you work through the year, you will hit snags, have setbacks,

miss promotions, lose sales, etc. Your personal resolve is more important than any New Year's resolution. re-solve is the personal power to follow through on the goals you committed to mentally and emotionally, to continue to pursue the purpose and objectives you visualized and

"picturized" when the New Year dawned. It is the personal power to stay the course in spite of opposition or resis-tance.

7 do it daily! As a teenager, I remember reading that the key to self-mastery was to do something you

didn't want to do every day. If you counted going to bed at night, then I could check this off daily. In achieving any worthy objective, there must be consistency in the amount of hard work you put in; an hour here and a day there just isn't going to do it. even a week of sustained ef-fort doesn't bring results. You need months and years of daily, sustained sweat equity.

One of my greatest irritants is to have worked hard on a project that didn't bring me the results I visualized. It is very painful to me have spent precious time on tasks that have no effect on my success. If you have felt the same sense of despair, then follow closely these seven calcu-lated choices which will focus you on what is of the utmost importance to you both personally and professionally. As you make these calculated choices on a daily basis, you will drill through the rock of inertia and life will leap like a geyser for your success!

by Karla Brandau, CSP

Karla Brandau is an internationally known speaker, author and consultant, Karla Brandau inspires individuals to take charge of their careers, give life 110% and make a difference in their orga-nization. A thought leader with a clarion voice in an often ambiguous environment, Karla marks a clear path to individual and organizational successas she challenges leaders to proactively remove organizational obstacles to productivity and employee engagement. Karla works consci-entiously for your success. For a complimentary consultation on how Karla can help you and your

team stay competitive and be more successful in the 21st Century, call 770-923-0883

KArLA BrAnDAu, csP

Your personal resolve is more important than any New Year's

resolution

recHarGe! career

2012 August І 59

linK uP witH linKEdin

Before you dismiss the idea of using LinkedIn because you only know it as that "bland" social media site where people go when they're looking for a job, realize that currently there are 90 million LinkedIn users worldwide. One new user joins every second of every day. And unlike social media sites like Facebook where many people use the site for entertainment, all LinkedIn us-ers are business minded. That means the connections you develop on LinkedIn are more likely to positively impact you or your company in some way. Therefore, if you want better or more professional business rela-tionships, LinkedIn is the place to be. even if you have a business profile on Facebook and Twitter, LinkedIn makes a perfect addition to your personal or business branding efforts.Visit our LinkedIn page here.

An essential Business resourceThe key to making LinkedIn work for you and your company is to use the site regularly. That means post-ing something, either an update or a question/answer, every 7 days at a minimum. Why? Because the more you use any social media site, the higher your "Google Juice" will be – in other words, Google's algorithm will notice your regularity and you'll get a higher ranking with Google than you would otherwise. Additionally, the more you interact and post on LinkedIn, the more prominent you'll become within your network– your name recognition will grow.

Fortunately, staying active in LinkedIn and being a regular user is simple when you understand how LinkedIn can benefit you professionally. Use the fol-

Build relationships and gain new information on people and topics

lowing ideas and suggestions to make the most of your LinkedIn account. show oFF your skills. It's as easy to set up your profile in LinkedIn as it is in Facebook. Make sure your profile is well written and that it highlights what you currently do, what you have done, your strengths, your talents, your key attri-butes, and your education. remember that people will access your profile for many different reasons (recruitment, background information, profes-sional contacts, etc.), so be thorough and always make your profile public. Because your LinkedIn profile is essentially a dynamic mini resume, keep it updated, tasteful and accurate at all times. Addi-tionally, you have an opportunity to display recom-mendations for you. As a point of etiquette, when you ask someone to write a recommendation, you must reciprocate. say soMething MeaningFul. By post-ing status updates that contain valuable content, you show your network that you are a team player and you care about other people's success. re-member that status updates are not the place to advertise your company's products or services, nor is it a conversation group. A better idea is to share a best practice, announce a seminar/event you've been to or are going to, or give a quick tip. If you can't think of anything to post, it's perfectly acceptable to post a meaningful or motivational quote. The key is to post something interesting and relevant to your network. And always remem-ber that what you post stays on the Internet

Mention the phrase "social media" and most people automatically

think of Facebook and twitter. But if you have any dealings in the

business world, you'll want to take a closer look at LinkedIn. you

will find it a useful tool to make your business relationships more

meaningful... and more profitable.

60 І August 2012

forever. so if you wouldn't want your comment on the front page of your local newspaper, don't post it on LinkedIn. uncover conversation starters. LinkedIn is a great place to get an inside glimpse of people. For example, you can look up potential clients or vendors on LinkedIn and see what kind of books they read, where they went to school, what their main interests are (based on the groups they belong to), and so much more. Now you'll have more to talk about when you meet the potential client, potential vendor or potential networking friend. Think of LinkedIn as a gateway to have a professional relationship with someone much quicker. In fact, some estimates show that by using LinkedIn to research the people you plan to interact with, you can have a 6-month head start on the rela-tionship. spot trends and hot topics. There's an amazing amount of real-time information available on LinkedIn. By being a member of various groups that interest you, you can see what people are thinking on a certain topic by the questions they're posting and the responses they're getting. so if you want to know what the current trends or best practic-es are in coding, for example, you could join several coding groups on LinkedIn and track each group's activity. You can then use the information you dis-cover in your own department. get an "in" with top coMpanies. Whether you're looking for new clients, new vendors or even a new job, with LinkedIn you can search the companies you want to work with and see who in

your network has connections there. You can then ask that person – your connection – for an intro-duction to a decision maker who can help you. even if you find that no one in your network has connec-tions with a particular company, perhaps someone in one of your groups works there. That's why it's important to belong to every group that interests you. Continually build your LinkedIn relationships and make those key connections before you actu-ally need them. As Harvey Mackay says, "dig your well before you're thirsty."

The Missing Link to Your successeven though 82 percent of people use some kind of social media regularly, social media itself – includ-

ing LinkedIn – is much like the Wild West. It's not tame yet, and best practices are still being formed. With that said, if you've spent much of your time on other social media sites and feel they aren't working for build-ing professional relation-ships, then it's time to give LinkedIn a try.

The key to making LinkedIn work is to work it regularly. Commit to spending at least 30 min-

utes per day on it, posting your ideas in updates, asking and answering questions, participating in groups, and reaching out to potential connections. Yes, it's one more thing to schedule in your calendar, but by building re-lationships and gaining new information on people and topics, it's also something that can make your job easier and your company better positioned.

by Jean Kelley

Jean Kelley is president and founder of Jean Kelley Leadership Consulting and Jean Kelley Leadership Alliance. She works with corporate leaders all over the world to achieve their highest potential. With her Alliance, Kelley has helped more than 500,000 businesspeople enhance their careers. She is the author of Dear Jean: What They Don’t Teach You at the Water Cooler, and Get A Job; Keep A Job Handbook. For more information, please visit www.jeankelley.com

JeAn KeLLeY

Don’t discuss your salary

and obligations from an employee

point of view

recHarGe! career

2012 August І 61

recHarGe!

Performance

62 І August 2012

tHE marsHmallow gEnE

Of the many keys to achieving your personal

goals and accomplishing great things in life, one

characteristic rises above all others.

I call it the Marshmallow gene.

this is not a hereditary unit that depends upon selecting the right

parents. It’s an advantage that can be developed by anyone

who has extraordinary desire and determination to accomplish

ambitious objectives in life.

I t is based on a 1972 study at stanford University conduct-ed by Walter Mischel. The study involved four and five

year old kids. each child was given a marshmallow and was told that, after 15 minutes, if the marshmallow had not been eaten, the child would be given a second marshmallow.

As the researchers watched and filmed through a one-way mirror, about a third of the kids ate the marsh-mallow immediately. Another third ate the marshmal-low in about seven to eight minutes. Only one of three was able to wait the full 15 minutes and earn the reward of a second marshmallow.

The critical part of the experiment came several years later when the kids were young adults. The kids who had not eaten the marshmallow were consistently more successful. They had average sAT scores 210 points higher than the kids who ate it immediately; they were less likely to drop out of college; they made far more money; they were less likely to go to jail; they suf-fered from fewer drug and alcohol problems; they had good jobs and were involved with successful careers; they had excellent relationships with others and were outstanding members of society.

stanford called this the “art of delayed gratifica-tion.” I call it the Marshmallow Gene. The study is ex-plained more thoroughly in a book titled don’t eat the Marshmallow Yet by Joachim de Posada.

simply stated, its self-discipline. self-discipline provides the inner drive to accomplish something that’s important to you. If the boss asks that a certain

project be completed by a specific date, the person with self-discipline does it, regardless of problems or obstacles along the way. self-discipline provides the willpower to complete a college class, get a degree, read a book, finish a home improvement project, get a promotion, or accomplish another task on your “to do” list.

everyone needs discipline. And I do mean every-one – adults and children alike. For the most part, we don’t get it.

The most severe form of reprimand most children get today is a time out, which may consist of two min-utes sitting on the stairway, or being sent to their rooms, furnished with a TV, every computer game ever invented, and enough toys to stock a new Toys-r-Us store. Now that’s torture.

In school, discipline generally comes in two areas – music and sports. When the conductor raises the ba-ton, every young musician sits up and pays attention. In sports, athletes respond to their coaches. If they fail to do so, they will likely be cut from the team.

Otherwise our environment doesn’t subject us to very much discipline. It’s pretty much a free-for-all. Those who get the short end of the stick think they are victims and scream about how badly they are being treated and insist “there should be a law.” If there al-ready is a law, they call their lawyers. Therefore, if we get much-needed discipline, it must be self-imposed.

Back in my corporate life, one of our employees gave me a little piece of granite with several words in-scribed. “You’ll like this,” she said. And I did. And I still do. I read it nearly every day.

2012 August І 63

recHarGe! Performance

daily, you will be drawn closer to the ultimate objective. That is, dreaming the dream tends to create the self-discipline necessary to accomplish the goal.

Now, break that big goal down into smaller bite-size pieces. For instance, what skills must you develop to accomplish your mission? What do you need to learn about the market you intend to enter? What financial requirements or other constraints must you over-come? Break these points down into smaller bites as well. Be specific.

It rEADs: Real leaders are ordinary people with extraordinary determination. A vArIAtIoN mIGht rEAD: Successful people are or-dinary people with extraordinary determination.

If this is true, and I believe it is, there are only two criteria we must meet to become successful. The first is to be ordinary. Most of us meet the ordinary stan-dard. If you are extraordinary, you have an advantage. But most very successful people are simply ordinary, which certainly includes myself.

The second requirement is to have extraordinary determination. This is a little more difficult, but it‘s not beyond the reach of any reader of this magazine.

start with a dream. A big dream. Write it down. read it when you arise every morning and again just before retiring for the night. When you close your eyes, visualize it as being so real you can touch it. The clearer the picture, the more likely you will be able to achieve your dream.

By creating the mental image, and by reinforcing it

there are not many overnight success stories

64 І August 2012

every day take one small step toward accomplish-ing your mission. Generally the progress will be slow. This is why so many people don’t succeed. They be-come impatient. They want overnight success. Keep in mind there are not many overnight success stories Not many projects will duplicate the rapid success of Facebook. Many overnight success stories require many years to accomplish.

ray Kroc, the father of the Mcdonald’s chain, lied about his age and at age 15 accepted a job as an am-bulance driver for the red Cross. Later he tried his hand at several odd jobs, including selling paper cups. He convinced the inventor of the five-spindle multi-mixer to give him marketing rights for all U. s. sales. He successfully sold he milk shake mixer for 15 years, even after he started his first Mcdonalds restaurant. ray Kroc had a dream.

sam Walton, founder of Walmart and sam’s Club, was raised on an Oklahoma farm. His family owned a cow which sam milked. This provided milk for the family’s use, and sam bottled the excess to deliver to customers. sam delivered newspapers. In college he waited tables to pay for college expenses. After grad-uation he became a management trainee at J. C. Pen-ney in des Moines, Iowa, earning $75 a month. sam had a dream.

Les Brown’s life is an inspiration. Les was born into poverty and was adopted at six weeks of age by a 38 year old single woman who worked as a cook and do-mestic worker. He worked in radio, TV, politics, and is now a successful and popular author and public speaker. Les says, “everyone’s born the same way: dumb, naked and speechless… The world doesn’t consist of haves and have nots but rather wills and will nots.” Les had a dream.

It’s best to learn the skills of self-determination ear-ly. Help your kids learn to apply self-discipline by set-ting goals and objectives and insisting they stick with them. stand behind teachers who insist lessons and homework be completed on time. Insist that school work be completed, and make sure they complete

their work assignments at home, which may include cleaning their rooms, washing dishes, washing the car, mowing the lawn and similar tasks.

some people can accomplish two times, five times, ten times more than others even though everyone has the same 24 hour day available. It’s because they have self-discipline. self-discipline helps a person set pri-orities and pursue dreams passionately.

successful people have learned to make use of their wasted time. It’s easy to get comfortable, hit the easy chair as soon as we get home from work, turn on the TV, and avoid doing the things we know we should do. successful people pursue worthwhile objectives fervently.

Another important factor is to associate with peo-ple who pull you up rather than pull you down. Many around you don’t want to make the investment of time and effort that success requires. They don’t want to feel inferior if you succeed and they don’t. They don’t want to be shown up.

While visiting fishermen’s wharf in New england, a man noticed that some crab buckets had lids and oth-ers didn’t. “Why is that?” the man asked. The fisher-man answered, “The buckets with lids have only one crab in them. When there is only one crab in the buck-et, it can climb out. The buckets without lids have two or more crabs in them. When one crab tries to get out, the others pull it back into the bucket.”

That same principle holds true with people. Too of-ten others tend to pull you back into the bucket.

It all comes back to self-discipline – the very thing we all need to achieve great things in our lives. Al-though it is often difficult to get started, you will soon find your pursuit of worthwhile personal goals and ob-jectives will become a habit – a habit that will produce significant personal satisfaction, increased self-es-teem, and meaningful financial goals.

The second marshmallow is worth the wait. by Robert L. Bailey

Robert Bailey is the retired CEO of a major company. Under his leadership the company he headed became one of the top performing property and casualty insurance companies in the United States. Now he is the author of six books, writes columns for several magazines, and is a professional public speaker. This article is a condensation of one chapter of his book The Poverty Advantage. For additional information about the author, visit www.bobbaileyspeaker.com or contact him at bobbailey1@comcast.net

roBerT L. BAILeY

recHarGe! Performance

2012 August І 65

recHarGe! Performance

No one will argue that we live in a stress-filled soci-ety. Is it more stressful on this generation than any before? Hard to tell, but each individual thinks their problems are worse than most others'. studies have always indicated that Air Traffic Controllers have the most stressful jobs, but many people feel their situ-ation is the worst. so what do you do under stress? How do you deal with tense situations? How is your coping ability? To deal with stress we need to focus on four areas: Problem solving,Communication, Closeness and Flexibility. How is your problem solving ability? Do you put things off, separate people from the problem, separate out emotions, have a desired outcome? How well do you communicate under stress? Do you actively listen, blame others, focus on the message received, speak with a purpose? The amount of close-ness we feel with others greatly affects our ability to cope. Do you make relationships a prior-ity? Do you find qual-ity time with others, share your personal feelings, and give praise? How flexible are you? Are you open to diverse ideas? These four areas will help you

deal with stress you are under, but what can you do to prepare for the future? Is there a key to dealing with stress that you can use effectively to consider making new goals and positive changes in your life?

Below is an acrostic using the word "CHANGe" to help you develop an action plan to deal with stress. The six letters in CHANGe anchor six important steps for mak-ing and maintaining positive movement in your life.

For the six steps to "c.h.a.n.g.e. to deal with stress" go to the link below.

c ommit yourself to a specific goal. set an attainable goal that helps you deal regularly with the stress-

ors of life that lead to tension and anxiety. For instance, you might want to improve your

communication skills at work by us-ing reflective listening. This involves

paraphrasing the speaker’s ideas to the speaker’s satisfaction. “I hear

you saying that…”

h abits… break old and start new. decide today that the

habits of the past are just that; the past. For instance, focus on future goals instead of dwelling in the past. Of-ten we are diverted from

our goals by problems in the present. Keep both

eyes on your person-al, work and fam-

ily goals. don’t let anything deter you

from focusing on them.

A c t i o n... take one

step at a time. do

s o m e -thing…t o d ay !

66 І August 2012

C.H.a.n.g.E. to dEal witH strEss!

Jim Mathis, CSP is an inter-national Certified Speaking Professional, executive coach and trainer. To subscribe to his free personal and profes-sional development newsletter,

please send an email to: subscribe@jimmathis.com with the word SUBSCRIBE in the subject. An electronic copy will be sent out to you every month. For more information on how Jim and his programs can benefit your organization or group, please call 888-688-0220, or visit his web site: www.jimmathis.com.

JIM MAThIs

Any doctor worth their salt

will tell you to take vitamins

daily. It’s the simplest way to

compensate for a crazy-busy

lifestyle and vagaries of life.

so, what about daily vitamins

at work? What disciplines do

you have that ensure you are

always progressing and not just

treading water?

Do you find yourself battling away at a bulging In-Box, forcing a smile through unannounced drop-ins by staff to talk about what they think so and so

said about so and so’ shoveling a sandwich down between meetings and rushing to get some paperwork completed that no one is going to read and that you should have del-egated to someone else years ago.

The 10/3/1 daily Vitamins are my solution to “the day is over and I have no idea where the time went” feeling. Take these everyday and you will be healthier, happier and have the smug feeling that you are the only one making progress in your office.

take your daily Vitamins

Take “baby steps” with your actions but start your new action plan right away. For instance, read a book on self-improvement, start your new habits now, take a friend, colleague or family member out to eat and practice your new plan.

N ever give up… lapses might occur. every book I’ve ever read about marketing says to never

quit on your marketing plan. When we back off from our direction or goals, we forget and apathy sets in. If you don’t succeed today, try again tomorrow. Winston Churchill gave a speech at t commence-ment exercise that is widely quoted: “Never, never, never, never give up”

G oal-oriented…focus on the positive. Look at ways you have advanced your plan, not the

ways you have failed. For instance, get a close friend to affirm your actions. Keep the eventual goal in sight. start praising yourself for what you can do, not what you can’t. Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics said, “If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you’re right.”

E valuate and reward yourself. Once a week, do something for yourself to mark the progress

you’ve made. Treat yourself to something that is special. do an activity that brings you great feel-ings for the goals you have accomplished. Give yourself a “bonus” for a job well done.

The CHANGe model format is appropriate for developing Action Plans in each area of life. re-fer to it as an on-going guide for creating positive change, and keep looking up!

by Jim Mathis

2012 JuLy І 67

67recHarGe! Performance

ating progress. rather than waiting until year end to debrief and seek im-provement, do this every day and you will see huge wins!Here are some examples of system improvement: Delegate a routine

task that someone else could do at least 85% as well as you Learn a new keyboard shortcut or time saving tip for MS Outlook Take a typing lesson Create a better system for recording your commitments from meetings Create templates for routine tasks Limit your visits to email to four times/ day Audit your time for one day and notice where you could be more effective Help someone else to do their job better Set up MS Outlook Tasks to hold your Boul-der Plan Organize your office to handle paper better Communicate to other staff your need for uninterrupted time in the AM

by Hugh Culver

Everyday find a better way to do some part of

your work

10 MInuTes oF PLAnnInG:Nothing is more important than planning for gaining focus and building your confidence. This is your time to assess what needs to be moved forward from your long term goals and to assess what is already on your Action Plan for the day. There are two planning periods in the week: every afternoon before leaving work to plan the next day, and every Friday afternoon to plan the next week. Allow at least 10 minutes for each of these sessions and really assess each task before automatically transferring it to the next day/week.

3 IMPorTAnT PeBBLes coMPLeTeD:When I interview high performing people they repeat-edly tell me that every day they focus on getting at least three high priority tasks completed every day. The objective is to always find at least three items to complete that move your Boulders forward. do this every day and you will feel like and appear like a hero!

1 sYsTeM IMProVeMenT:everyday find a better way to do some part of your work (or help someone else to do the same). In the spirit of continual improvement, this is crucial for cre-

Hugh’s adventure exploits have taken him from the arctic to the Antarctic, from moun-tain peaks to the rapids of some of the wildest rivers. While his business adventures have included a private airline, real estate, tourism and consulting to leading organizations like: Imperial Oil, Shoppers Drug Mart, Royal Bank of Canada, Suncor, Telus, and the Red Cross, as well as four universities and four colleges. Hugh is a passionate advocate of the enduring power of vision, personal choice and constant improvement. Learn more about

Hugh’s keynote presentations and resources at www.HughCulver.com

huGh cuLVer

68 І August 2012

Have you ever thought to yourself: “If only I had more time?” You may even long for the old days when you were young and didn’t have many or

any responsibilities. You have the whole world waiting for you. You can do anything you set your mind to – even the things that that you think you don’t have time for!

How is this possible? By scheduling time for what’s important as well as what is fun. Of course, along with this schedule, you have to take certain steps to elimi-nate time wasters. What are time wasters? Time wast-ers can be anything, from an inanimate object to a full living and breathing person. It is important that you first learn how to identify a time waster and then learn how to stop this person, place, or thing from distract-ing you. Let’s start by listing some of the most com-mon time wasters.

1There’s no question that computers and a high-speed Internet connection can provide many valu-

able services to you. However, these tools are among the worst time wasters in existence. some companies have actually banned Internet usage during working hours. If banning the Internet is not an option for you, then at least make it a rule that you will not open any computer programs that are not directly related to your work. If you catch your hand slowly approaching your mouse with the intent to surf, catch yourself and get back to work. This fasting from interactive entertain-ment also includes avoiding blogs, email, and instant messaging services. What can you do about impor-tant emails? If you have a problem with time-consum-ing emails then you might consider creating a separate email account for all your professional contacts. That way, you won’t be distracted by any forwarded mes-sages or alerts from friends. even better, ask your

friends to not include you in the personal emails they like to send to other friends. You may even choose to only check email one or two times during the day, and for a specific period of time – one time not being the first thing in the morning when you arrive at work.

2 Interruptions from phones, team members, or pop-in visitors can be very distracting. Human beings

have a natural inclination to sit around and chat. There’s certainly nothing wrong with this pastime, and there is no need to be rude with your peers, associates, friends, and neighbors. However, you do need to set some rules down and inform everyone who adores your company that during certain working hours you are unavailable. This applies to team members also. You create set meeting times when others can meet with you.

3 Unless you work on the phone, you may choose to unplug this device since telephone conversations

can easily take up a lot of time. Once again, explain to family and friends that during working hours the phone is not an option. You also might want to tell them that it’s only appropriate to call during a life and death situation, since an “emergency” can be liberally interpreted.

4 The next time waster is to consider is not actually a tangible object, but a lack of time management.

When there is no time management or scheduling taking place, then a person tends to be unfocused in his or her approach. A person may not prioritize their tasks, or in the opposite case, try to take on too much responsibility. Along with the threat of procrastina-tion, a lack of time management makes for a poten-tially devastating time waster. The use of a calendar for time management will lead to more efficient and ef-fective behaviors that produce even better results and increases your overall success.

5 ideas to reduce the Biggest time wasters

2012 August І 69

accelerate Your results!

recHarGe! columns

5 One of the most often reported problems with office employees is the lack of education that

newcomers are given. This takes up more time having to explain procedures and demonstrate how to work various systems. You could apply this les-son as well, whether you own your own company or work independently of others. Try to learn new systems or new information on your own time, so that by the time you start working you are not wast-ing any time reading over instructions or surfing for help resources online. Creating procedures manu-als for all positions in the firm can have a huge im-pact on productivity and reduce wasted time. Cre-ate a goal to create one or more procedures each week for each position in your firm and put them into procedures manuals for each person and their position.

Making the Most of Your DayOther time wasters include stress, burn out, and sickness. stress and burn out are often times linked, so if you sense that the quality of your work is suffering because of this, it may be “time” to take some time off. sickliness is a tricky issue, because

some businesses prefer employees to come in sick, while others only want to pay workers who perform at prime level. If you work at home then you also have to find a compromise. You obviously wouldn’t disturb others if you work alone, but are you so ill that the quality of your work is suffering? It may be wise to take a sick day and regroup when you can mentally be at your best.

Keep in mind that the more you incorporate health and fitness into your life, the more it impacts and re-duces stress, burnout, and sickness.

These are some of the most common time bust-ers. If you sense that you are losing a lot of time, take steps to eliminate the source of the distraction or dis-tractions. This may include sacrificing some items al-together or at least making it more difficult to access such fun, time-wasting activities. Your office produc-tivity will improve and you will be better off!

Calendars never lie. They

are 100% accurate and visible

indicators of your priorities.

~ Tom Peters

Anne M. Bachrach

Anne M. Bachrach is known as The Accountability Coach™. She has 23 years of experi-ence training and coaching. Business owners and entrepreneurs who utilize Anne’s proven systems and processes work less, make more money, and have a more balanced and suc-cessful life. Anne is the author of the book, Excuses Don’t Count; Results Rule!, and Live Life with No Regrets; How the Choices We Make Impact Our Lives. Go to http://tinyurl.com/7na68k8 and get 3 FREE gifts including a special report on 10 Power Tips for Getting

Focused, Organized, and Achieving Your Goals Now. Join the FREE Silver Inner Circle Membership today and receive 10% off on all products and services, in addition to having access to assessments and resourc-es to help you achieve your goals so you can experience a more balanced and successful life (www.accountabilitycoach.com/coaching-store/inner-circle-store/).

Anne M. BAchrAch

You create set meeting times

when others can meet with you

70 І August 2012