Reading and “stealing” like a writer: Academic templates for writing close analysis

Margi WaldCollege Writing ProgramsUniversity of California, Berkeleymwald@berkeley.edu

TESOL 2011Friday, 18 March New Orleans, LA, USA

The First Assignment• Sustained Attention to Written Text

o [The essay] should reveal the student’s ability to:

interpret the written text in a meaningful, arguable way that is stated or implied as a thesis or main idea. The thesis or main idea is assertive enough so that the student takes a position on the text and does not merely summarize,

elaborate without merely repeating ideas, and

reflect on the text in an insightful way, not merely critiquing the writing quality, but engaging with themes from the reading.

One Possibility• Close Reading or Analysis

elaborate without merely repeating ideas,

reflect on the text in an insightful way, not merely critiquing the writing quality, but engaging with themes from the reading.

Look specifically at the language and structures the author uses to extend a theme and create tone, an effect on the reader -- wording, images, illustrations, allusions, rhythm, contrasts, representations

The Pre-Draft Sequence (1)

• Read and re-read text.

• Pull out relevant passages.

• Model close analysis idea creation (whole group).

• Practice close analysis (small group).

Close Analysis: Group Modeling An accident of geography sent me to a school where all my classmates were white, many the children of doctors and lawyers and business executives. All my classmates certainly must have been uneasy on that first day of school--as most children are uneasy--to find themselves apart from their families in the first institution of their lives. But I was astonished. The nun said, in a friendly but oddly impersonal voice, 'Boys and girls, this is Richard Rodriguez.' (I heard her sound out: Rich-heard Road-ree-guess.) It was the first time I had heard anyone name me in English. 'Richard,' the nun repeated more slowly, writing my name down in her black leather book. Quickly I turned to see my mother's face dissolve in a watery blur behind the pebbled glass door.

Textual Evidence/ Information                     Commentary / Analysis / Explanation

accident of geography feels unworthy, mistake to be at

the school

The Pre-Draft Sequence (2)

• Discuss “PIE” arguments/paragraphs• Point, Information/Illustrations, Explanation • Claims, Evidence, Analysis

• Examine model paragraph containing close analysis for rhetorical moves. o See handout (Rose, Close Analysis Moves)

• Write first draft.

The First Draft (1) To show his feelings of weakness, Rodriguez also tells the story of going to a gasoline station with his father. He describes his dad’s English: “At one point his words slid together to form one long word—sounds as confused as the threads of blue and green oil in the puddle next to my shoes.”(345) “Slid” shows that his dad has no much control of his tongue. The “blue and green oil” show that his dad’s English is in fact very poor and Rodriguez actually feels uncomfortable about it. Not only his dad, but also himself feels weaker in front of Americans. Rodriguez also describes one time in class, he was being asked, “silent, waiting for the bell to sound, I remained dazed, diffident, afraid.”(347) “Silent” shows that he did not want to answer; he refuses to learn this public language. “Waiting” shows that he is passive, doesn’t want to take a step. “Remained” shows that he had no confidence, no pride and that he was feeling nervous about his public identity. He had no pride in himself before learning English. Feeling weak actually gives Rodriguez the desire to be strong, to gain public identity deeply inside his heart and that leads to his reaction later on when he was pushed to learn English.

The First Draft (2)

"This-Shows" Trap 

Like Rodriguez, Anzaldúa writes of her inner turmoil. She too feels a need for acceptance by the Anglo educational community. She describes feelings at school: “faceless, nameless, invisible, taunted with ‘Hey cucaracho’ (cockroach). Trembling with fear, yet filled with courage, a courage born of desperation” (p. 326). This shows that, school was uncomfortable but Anzaldúa’s need for acceptance by whites gives her courage and motivates her to gain an education. 

The Approach

• Model and Noticeo Student Textso Professional Textso Whole Groupo Small Group

• Create o ‘Noticing’ Listso Substitutions / Expansion

• Practiceo Small Groupo Revisiono Peer Response

The Theory• Genre-based

o Derewianka, 2003; Hyland, 2004 & 2009); Tardy 2009

• SFL-informedo Schleppegrell, 2004; Schleppegrell & Colombi,

2002)

• Corpus-inspiredo Not based on frequency, but teaches students the

value of noticing / modeling the language / structures used in written texts.

Step 1: Modeling & Noticing (1)

• How do writers craft sentences of close analysis?o From a handout of tips on close analysis: “Pull out and echo

the actual words from the quotation. Expand the discussion of those words to show how they work to help support your claim.”

• Look at modelso Student: CWR1A essays, MICUSP, NAFWiC, BAWE,

Viking corpus o Internet samples: close reading, textual analysis o Professional: Published articles, COCA

Step 1: Modeling & Noticing (2)

• Whole Groupo See handout (Rose, Close Analysis, Language)

Step 1: Modeling & Noticing (3)

• Small Groupo Examples from MICUSP, online samples o Additional essays from CWR1A students

Noticing: A Sample

He depicts the space in which the characters interact as a type of theater, likening the two to “actors in a play.” Naipaul’s use of this metaphor has implications for how one should interpret the forces of colonialism at work in the novel as a whole. 

http://engl200e.wordpress.com/2008/03/09/two-excellent-example-of-close-reading/

Step 2: Creating templates (1)Share findings • MICUSP -- upper division

o a reader can't help but note the abundance of euphemisms– “1,” “2,” “3.”

o By using the term “power” in an unconventional wayo the sense of comfort that the text creates by using "Be cheerful,

sir."o Also, the text refers to the spirits as “our actors,” which indicates thato The imagery invoked by the melting spirits reminds the reader ofo The passage's inclusion of the "globe" along with the fantastical

images of the "towers" and "palaces" also indicates

• CWR1A student essayso By using the images of a “dam” and a “reservoir” to describe border

regulation, he depicts how immigration is restricted except for when labor is needed by U.S. manufacturing companies.

o By focusing on “whole families” rather than individuals as the subject, he

o Moreover, his description of families getting run over as “mowed down” further depicts the scene as horrific and appalling.

Step 2: Creating templates (2)• Create substitutions

• By using the term/phrase/word/adjective/noun o The author uses the phrase/word/term/adjective/nouno The author’s use of the phrase/word/term/adjective/noun

• By using symbols/repetition/imagery o The author’s use of symbols/repetition/imagery

• A reader can't help but note/notice the abundance/long list/repetition/repeated use of euphemisms/images/metaphors/adjectives/slanted language

Creating Templates: Samples

• See handout (Close Analysis Templates)

Step 3: Practicing with templates• Small Group

o Anzaldua discusses her rejection by the dominant Mexican culture as well, presenting the negative view Spanish speakers have of Chicanos:

Pocho, cultural traitor, you’re speaking the oppressor’s language by speaking English, you’re ruining the Spanish language,’ I have been accused by various Latinos and Latinas. Chicano Spanish is considered by the purist and by most Latinos deficient, a mutilation of Spanish. (76-77)

• Individual Work

• Peer Response

The revised paragraphBeing different than Americans caused Rodriguez and his family act uncomfortably in front of the Americans. Rodriguez tells the story of going to a gasoline station with his father. He describes his dad’s English in a negative way: “At one point his words slid together to form one long word—sounds as confused as the threads of blue and green oil in the puddle next to my shoes.” (345). By using the verb “slid”, Rodriguez suggests that his father has no much control of his tongue. The simile of “blue and green oil” further suggests that his dad’s English is in fact very poor and confused. Also, Rodriguez’s use of oil in the puddle implies that his dad or his family could never mix with the American society. This image hints that Rodriguez did not affirm his dad’s English but actually felt uncomfortable, ashamed about it and that led to Rodriguez’s desire to be shameless. Not only his dad, but also Rodriguez himself felt weaker in front of Americans. Rodriguez describes his reaction when he was in his first day of class at school, noting “silent, waiting for the bell to sound, I remained dazed, diffident, afraid” (347). He was “silent” because he did not want to answer; he refused to learn this public language. He was “waiting” passively, didn’t want to take a step. The fact that he “remained” in a negative state until the end of class indicates that he had no confident, no pride and that he was feeling nervous about his public identity. Before learning English, he had no pride in his public self. Feeling weak actually gave Rodriguez the desire to be strong, to gain a public identity and this led to his reaction later on when he was pushed to learn English.

References• Derewianka, B, (2003). Trends and issues in genre-based approaches. RELC Journal, 34

(2). 133-154.• Graff, G. & Birkenstein, C. (2006) They say, I say: The moves that matter in academic

writing. New York/London: Norton.• Hyland, K. (2007). Genre and second language writing. Michigan Series on Teaching

Multilingual Writers. Series edited by Diane Belcher and Jun Liu. Ann Arbor: University of Michigan Press.

• Hyland, K. (2009). Teaching genre in the disciplines—How applied linguistics can help. Second Language Writing / Applied Linguistics Intersection, TESOL. Denver, CO.

• Michigan Corpus of Upper-level Student Papers (MICUSP). (2009). Ann Arbor, MI: The Regents of the University of Michigan.

• North American Freshman Writing Corpus (NAFWiC). (2009). Compiled by Gena Bennett

at the Department of English, University of Birmingham, UK. • Schleppegrell, M., & Colombi, M. C. (Eds.). (2002). Developing advanced literacy in first

and second languages. Mahwah, NJ: LEA.• Schleppegrell, M. (2004) Language of schooling. Mawah, NJ: LEA• Tardy, C. (2009). Plagiarism vs. legitimate textual borrowing. Workshop presented at The

Symposium on Second Language Writing, Tempe, AZ. • Viking Corpus of Student Academic Writing, Portland State University, USA.

http://web.pdx.edu/~conrads/online_corpus.html