QUESTIONS for our Tool

Kits

Dr. Becca C. Johnson

WHY ask Questions?Facilitate the relationship: let them see that Facilitate the relationship: let them see that

you genuinely care for/about him/heryou genuinely care for/about him/herFacilitate personal growth: encourage Facilitate personal growth: encourage

him/her to share, to develop their thinking, him/her to share, to develop their thinking, values, opinions, likes/dislikes… helping to values, opinions, likes/dislikes… helping to increase self-esteemincrease self-esteem

Facilitate healing: by your unconditional love Facilitate healing: by your unconditional love and acceptance, encouragement, care,…and acceptance, encouragement, care,…

Self Esteem increases because…

We feel ‘heard’ and understoodWe feel validated &/OR gently challenged“Someone cares about ME”Talking about things often helps us figure out what we think and feel

WHEN and WHERE?

Deuteronomy 6:5-9

1.During activities

2.Between activities

3.Rest hour in cabins

4.Bedtime

5.ANY TIME!

Asks Questions about…

SchoolActivitiesAnimalsFavoritesSelfHome

SchoolActivitiesAnimalsFavoritesSelfHome

Responding to the Answers Naturally Reflecting the emotions/feelingAsk follow-up questions such as:

“What were you THINKING when that happened?” “How did that make you FEEL?” “I might have felt _____ or _____. What did you feel?”

Asking Questions Try not to ask questions

that can be answered with a “yes”, “no”, “fine” or

“okay”

Try to ask questions naturally OR as a game

Questions can be put in a hat/bowl and chosen

A Question Game could be developed to encourage

thoughtful responses and facilitate sharing.

* How People Feel * How We Respond

1 Happy, comfortable, glad2. Awkward, uncomfortable3. Angry, uncomfortable, violated

1.Oblivious2.Plow ahead3.Ask with awareness4.Stop asking

1.Oblivious2.Plow ahead3.Ask with awareness4.Stop asking

* Becca’s“Question

Game”

* Trauma Counseling

model

Depth of QuestionsThoughts/Opinions - - - > - - - ->Feelings/Emotions

Relationship LevelNew - - - - - - > - - - - - - > - - - - - - > Close (Intimate)

PersonalImpersonal - - - - - > - - - - - - > - - - - - - > Personal

Emotional LevelNot emotionally vulnerable - - - - -> Emotionally vulnerable

IntensityFun - - - - - - - > - - - - - - - > - - - - - - - > Serious

Thoughts/Opinions - - - > - - - ->Feelings/Emotions

Relationship LevelNew - - - - - - > - - - - - - > - - - - - - > Close (Intimate)

PersonalImpersonal - - - - - > - - - - - - > - - - - - - > Personal

Emotional LevelNot emotionally vulnerable - - - - -> Emotionally vulnerable

IntensityFun - - - - - - - > - - - - - - - > - - - - - - - > Serious

IF you could… AND why?

…FLY, where would you fly?…TALK to the President, what would you say?…HELP someone/the world, who would you help/what would you do?…had a $million, what would you do?…could travel anywhere, where…?

If you were… what would you be AND why?

… an ANIMAL…?… a FLOWER, what type & color…?… FURNITURE…? (chair, sofa, table, chest, rocker, lamp, bed,drawers,…)… a BOAT, what type of boat…? (sail, motor, canoe, cruise, tow,…)... MUSICAL INSTRUMENT…?

If _______, then how would you feel AND why?

…math was you favorite subject…?…you were not chosen for a team…?…your art won the school contest…?…your team won because of you…?…you get blamed & it’s not your fault…?…your Mom & Dad say horrible things when they’re mad…?

WHEN you’re here at camp… AND why?…what do enjoy doing?…what do you like about camp?…do you wish someone else could be here? Who?…is there anything you wish was different about camp?

WHEN you wake up in the morning, what do you……think about?…look forward to each day?…dread doing each day?…wish was different?

WHEN you go to bed at night, what do you…

…do before getting in bed?…think about?…say to God?…wish could be different?

Types of Question

1.Yes – No

2.Choose (multiple choice)

3.Open-ended

1.Yes – No

2.Choose (multiple choice)

3.Open-ended

What would you rather do AND WHY?

Swim in a pool, sit and read, ride your bicycle, or play a game?Eat ice cream, cake, cookies or pie for dessert?Go fishing early in the morning, sleep in, or sleep over at a friend’s house?Have a pet dog, cat, rabbit, pig or goat?Have a surprise present, a present you pick out, or one you already know about?Be a fire-, police-, or mail- man/women?

What would you rather do AND WHY?

Play the guitar, piano, drums, or violin?Dust, do the dishes, sweep, or take garbage out?Clean your room or eat something you don’t like?Be President, famous athletic or movie star?Be smart, pretty, or strong/athletic?Be a teacher, a student, or a principal?Read, write, or listen to a story?

What do you prefer (like best) AND WHY?

Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall?Christmas, Birthday, or Easter?Beach, mountains, dessert, city?Honesty, loyalty, or kindness?Drawing, singing, or dancing?Baseball, basketball, soccer, skating, or gymnastics?

QUESTION GAME

1.Develop a list of questions or TO DOs2.Write them down and cut to separate 3.Tell the child that they will receive

1-2 points for every item they answer,3 points if they answer with a lot of

detail4.Tell the child they can “pass” if he/she

feels uncomfortable5. Take turns and keep score

QUESTION GAME

Examples: (in addition to all previous questions)

1.Tell me four things you like to do.2.Describe your house to me.3.Share one of your big dreams or wishes.4.What do you like/don’t like about school.5.What was your family like when you were younger? What is your family like now?6.If you had a secret, who would you tell?

QUESTION GAME

Variations: TIMETo encourage details and more sharing 1 point = 1-10 seconds; 2 points = 11-20 seconds; 3 points = 21-30 seconds; 4 points = 31+ secondsEx: Do you or anyone you know wear glasses? “I do” or “my friend” or “My Mom & Dad” all = 1 point“I do. I first started wearing them in 2nd grade when I… It was hard to adjust at the beginning b/c…” = more points

More Questions… (general)

Do you like to sing? What music do you like?Do you like sports? What sports do you like?If you were a staff member here at camp, what would you want to do/be? (counselor, coach, music leader, lifeguard, director, drama team,…) WHY?

More Questions… (spiritual)

Do you go to church? Is it boring or fun and why?Do you believe that God really loves you? Do you sometimes find it hard to believe it? When?Do you believe in God? That He exists?The Bible says that God wants to show His love to you. What has God done for you that shows His love?This week’s theme is ____. What do YOU think about it?

More Questions… (emotional)

What makes you happy? What makes you sad?Do you have a quiet place you can go when you want to be alone?Are you afraid of the dark? Earthquakes? Teachers? God? Something/someone else?Are you good at keeping secrets? Have you ever had a secret that you know you SHOULD tell – a ‘bad’ secret? Did you ever tell anyone? (Would you like to tell it to me, now?)

Story: “I wish someone had asked me…”

“About it. About me. About my family.About how I was feeling.About what I thought about what happened.

Instead, it wasn’t talked about so I felt worse – like it was so horrible no one could talk about it. I think that’s why I developed a lot of wrong thinking about so many things.”

Table Discussion

How might you incorporate this information

into your staff training?

QUESTIONS for our Tool

Kits

Dr. Becca C. Johnson

RESOURCES

Values Clarification by Simon, Howe & Kirschenbaum, Hart Publishing Co. 1978

Games, Games, Games compiled by Mary Hohenstein, Bethany House Publishers, 1980

“About Me”

Sharing OR Activity (with paper & markers)

1.Full name and birthday, age2.Describe yourself (color hair/eyes,…)3.Describe yourself (characteristics & likes)4.What do you like about yourself? 5.Family members (list names & ages)6.School name, grade; favorite things7.Hobbies & Activities/Friends/Pets