The Power of Listening

Chris Carter, Training CoordinatorOffice of Human Resource

Employee Development Center

What is Listening? listening (ILA, 1996): the process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages; to hear something with thoughtful attention Effective communication is 2-waydepends on speaking and listening

Listening vs. HearingHearing- physical process; natural; passive

Listening- physical & mental process; active; learned process; a skill

Listening is hard!You must choose to participate in the process of listening.

Fast FactsWe listen at 125-250 wpm, think at 1000-3000 wpm75% of the time we are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful20% of the time, we remember what we hearMore than 35% of businesses think listening is a top skill for successLess than 2% of people have had formal education with listening

Percentage of Communication

Mode of CommunicationFormal Yearsof TrainingPercentage of Time UsedWriting12 years9%Reading6-8 years16 %Speaking1-2 years30%Listening0-few hours45%

Why Be A Good Listener?Needs of the Customer

To be recognized and rememberedTo feel valuedTo feel appreciatedTo feel respectedTo feel understoodTo feel comfortable about a want or need

Listening is the most powerful form of acknowledgment a way of saying, You are important.

Listening builds stronger relationships

creates a desire to cooperate among people because they feel accepted and acknowledged.

Listening promotes being heard Seek first to understand, then be understood. - Stephen Covey

Listening creates acceptance and openness conveys the message that I am not judging you.

Listening leads to learning openness encourages personal growth and learning

Listening reduces stress and tension minimizes confusion and misunderstanding, eliminating related stress and tension

Listening is CRITICAL in conflict resolution much conflict comes from the need to be heard. Successful resolution depends on being a non-anxious presence.

Barriers to ListeningEquate With HearingUninteresting TopicsSpeakers DeliveryExternal DistractionsMentally Preparing Response

Listening for FactsPersonal ConcernsPersonal BiasLanguage/Culture DifferencesFaking Attention

Bad Listening HabitsCriticizing the subject or the speakerGetting over-stimulatedListening only for factsNot taking notes OR outlining everythingTolerating or creating distractionLetting emotional words block messageWasting time difference between speed of speech and speed of thought

When Are You Listening?Non-Verbal Encouragers

Verbal Encouragers

Active Listening Allows you to make sure you hear the words and understand the meaning behind the wordsGoal: go beyond listening to understanding

Active Listening RequiresDefinite Intent to ListenFocus on the SpeakerVerbal and Non-Verbal EncouragersFeedback Loop to Insure Accuracy

Active Listening (4 Steps)ListenQuestionReflect-ParaphraseAgree

Step 1: ListenTo Feelings As Well As WordsWords Emotions -- ImplicationsFocus on SpeakerDont plan, speak, or get distractedWhat Is Speaker Talking About?Topic? Speaker? Listener? Others?Look At SpeakerUse Verbal & Non-Verbal Encouragers

Step 2: Question3 PurposesDemonstrates you are listeningGather informationClarificationOpen-endedTell me more?How did you feel?Then what happened?

Step 3: Reflect-ParaphraseReflect What Is Said (In your words)Reflect FeelingsReframeCapture the essence of the communicationRemove negative framingMove toward problem solving

Step 4: AgreeGet Speakers Consent to Your ReframingSpeaker Has Been Heard and Knows It!Solution Is Near!

ActivitySpeaker talk for 2 min.Listener listen using the skills weve discussedObserver observe the application of the skills and take notes