HOW I WISH BANKINGWOULD STOP SUCKING

I’M MOVING IN TO LONDON!YAY! Congrats on being a Londoner

“That’s not me. I just picked a random photo”

NEED MY IBAN NUMBERTo transfer money from a French bank to a UK one

NEED TO CHANGE MY ADDRESS

Browse the website“So exiting”

STEP 1

Login using a number I never remember so I have to check the secret place where I put it“Fortunately I love hide and seek"”

STEP 2

Then I have to type in a password on the page and 1 on the little machine + press a bunch of buttons“I love that tiny box. It’s got this nice Gameboy feel to it”

STEP 3

Sadly I don’t carry it around in my pocket.Fortunately I have my phone! Then I have to type TWO passwords just to get the one I actually need... Phew!“This is giving me proper exercise. Great”

STEP 4

No matter where I look I can’t findmy IBAN number. Hmm“This is giving my brain proper exercise. Great”

STEP 5

let’s check the F.A.Q. Where is the F.A.Q?Tells me about sending money overseas but I just wantmy IBAN number to receive some!“Losing the will to live here”

STEP 6

Not in the FAQ. No problem! Let’s try a search!“Oh search is just to decorate. It doesn’t actually find stuff”

STEP 7

Pick up the phone“That’s really how my phone looks like btw!”

STEP 8

If you’re calling for X,Y OR Z. Please press 1,2,3.

For anything else press 4.“Aha! It’s like those old command line role playing games! FUN”

STEP 9

If you’re calling for A,B,C. Please press 1,2,3

For anything else press 4“I’m level 2 BRO! ”

STEP 10

If you’re calling for E,F,G,H. Please press 1,2,3,4

TO Talk to an advisor press 5“Final round. Fight!”

STEP 10 Bis

Wait“All is not lost... They've got Rick Astley to keep

me company while I wait (shoot me now)”

STEP 11

Wait some more“A bit of teasing never killed anyone... did it??!!”

STEP 12

Talk. BUT BEFORE!Need to give address, name, DOB

and 2,3rd and last letter of my password“Thank goodness I got all the answers right. YESSSSSSSS!”

STEP 13

THE ASK!ME: “Where can I find my IBAN number?”HER: “Oh! Easy it’s on your chequebook”

MY MOUTH: “Oh great, have a nice day ;-)”MY BRAIN: “I never use them cheques!

I don’t even know where those are?!I’ll have to wait when I get home and turn

my flat upside down.ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHH!!!!”

STEP 14

STEP 15

HELL TO THIS!THIS IS HOW

I’D LIKE TO INTERACTWITH MY BANK…

Why banks make it so hard when it could be that simple?