PART II - cctmweb.net file · Web viewTears filled my eyes uncontrollably as I read Brother Joshua...

The Cross and Suffering 0

The Cross and Suffering

INTRODUCTION

Tears filled my eyes uncontrollably as I read Brother Joshua Yu’s book, The Narrow Way of the Cross (from which this book is excerpted). Captivated and constrained by the Lord’s profound love, some of God’s children followed Him on the way of the Cross, vowing to sacrifice their all at any cost – distress, poverty, afflictions, persecutions, starvation, sword, mockery or even to be slaughtered as sheep. However, in an actual situation of raging furnace or lion-den, whether one could be as composed and prepared for martyrdom as Stephen was is quite another matter. Even the brave and strong-minded Peter had the painful experience of denying the Lord thrice. This is because, in actual fact, the way of the Cross is not only a narrow way but is also a way of suffering, of thorns, of blood, or of death. We can easily be caught up in the billow if only we are slightly off-focused.

Satan, our enemy, is not only like a roaring lion prowling around looking for someone to devour but is also a disguised angel of light who beguiled the innocent just as the crafty serpent did in the garden of Eden. God’s children who are just slightly off-guard will fall prey.

For this reason, the Lord Jesus repeatedly warned His followers to be on constant alert against the enemy’s craftiness and attacks. He said:“If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. So likewise,

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whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple.” Luke 14:25-27,33

Let us forsake what we should forsake and strive to attain what we should attain as we imitate Christ and take His yoke, following Him all the way to Calvary.

For 21 long years, Brother Joshua Yu endured an indescribably hard life of numerous persecutions, all for his steadfastness of faith in Christ. His only desire was to hold fast with a clear conscience as he sought to please the Lord in all he did, allowing God’s will for him to be fulfilled. When the appropriate time did arrive, the hand of God delivered him from the pit of death and made him a God-glorifying witness before the public.

Brother Yu’s testimony is truthful and credible. In these end-times of suffering, Satan is rampant; yet our God always sits on the eternal throne and the Cross is always the only path to victory for God’s children. Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!

Brother in Christ, Elisha Wu September 27,2005

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PROLOGUE

Shortly after China came under Communist rule in 1949, the government initiated a political movement within the country’s Christian church. This movement, called the “Three-Self Renovation Movement”, was later renamed “Three-Self Patriotic Movement”. On the surface, its aim was for the churches to break off relations with overseas missions and to practice “Three-Self” – self-governing, self-supporting and self-preaching. In reality, however, the movement was a means to manipulate the churches with the aim to ultimately eradicate Christianity in the nation.

From the spiritual standpoint, this was a rigorous battle: a case of a group of atheists setting out to replace Jesus Christ as the Head of the Church and to place their own policies, ordinances and documents above the Holy Bible. This was something that we who fear God could not bring ourselves to compromise with or to withdraw from. Instead, we were prepared to pay any cost necessary to maintain that Christ was the Head of the Church and that the Holy Bible was the supreme basis of Christian living and service. Whereas we followed the teaching: “Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God (Rom. 13:1)”, we also knew better that we were “to obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29). We held on to our belief that no authority was absolute apart from that of the Most High and Ever-living God, and that the authority of men was only relative; no one, not even apostles and elders within the Church, had any right to demand absolute submission from anyone.

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The “Elimination of Counter-Revolutionaries Movement” that began in the latter half of 1955 sparked off a series of Christian persecutions that spanned from July 1955 to the spring of 1957. Starting with the arrests of brothers Zhen-qing Hu (in Zhejiang) and Ming-dao Wang (in Beijing), the persecutions reached their peak by mid-1956.

We bow down before the Lord and worship Him - “the Most High who rules in the kingdom of men” and whose authority reigns over all; the Almighty Creator who, in His superb wisdom and perfect will, allowed these unprecedented, fiery trials to befall the desolate and disorderly churches in the vast continent of China. Through a prolonged period of seeking His enlightenment and studying His words, as well as constant reflections, we have all the more come to the following realizations.

The Lord’s return is drawing near, and the fire before the judgment seat of Christ will appear. “The fire will test each one’s work (I Cor. 3:13)” to reveal whether it is gold, silver and precious stones or merely wood, hay and straw. Oh, it will be too late and too tragic if we do not find out until that day that all our work is but burnt wood, hay and straw, and that our salvation is “as through fire.” Worse yet, the consequences will be eternal!

We are thankful to our gracious Father for having allowed the test of fire to befall China prior to the actual arrival of the Judgment Seat fire. As though put through “an imitation test”, our poverty, blindness and nakedness were revealed beforehand. Thus, we were awakened in advance, called to repent and to become purified. In addition, through the testimonies of Christians in China, an alarm is sounded for the global Church to hasten the readiness of the Bride (Rev. 19:7; Matt. 25:4).

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Still of greater significance is the fact that, through the fiery trials, the Spirit of God has revealed the genuine path of life – the way of the Cross. It was when we realized that our work was merely, or essentially, wood, hay and straw that we asked ourselves which was the genuine path. Only one path is pleasing to the Lord – the narrow path of the Cross which He Himself trod.

Oh, dear brothers and sisters, this is what the several decades of bloodshed and tearful experiences in China have unveiled: few were “gold, silver and precious stones” who withstood the test of fire whereas numerous others turned out to be wood, hay and straw! Even more heartbreaking is the fact that the end-time is a time of chaos when “fish-eyes are mingled with pearls1. Many Christians cannot distinguish fish-eyes from pearls, or wood, hay and straw from gold, silver and precious stones, and are consequently misled (Matt. 24:4). You will be shocked to learn, or find it hard to believe, the miserable condition of most of God’s servants in China during the fiery trials. Oh, may we often bow down in the ashes, look up to the light before the Judgment Seat, and constantly examine ourselves as to what our work is really like!

The primary purpose of this book is to concretely and vividly illustrate, by the Lord’s mercy and grace, the “path of life” through some typical testimonies, both positive and negative. It has been proven that, in the “perilous times” and “the year of drought” of the last days, only those who are “like a tree planted by the waters which spreads out its roots by the river” will flourish

1 ? An old Chinese saying meaning: the counterfeit is passed for the genuine.

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with green leaves and never cease from yielding fruit (Jer.17:7,8 – “waters” and “rivers” symbolizing Jesus Christ and His Cross).

All is mercy and grace! Yes, all is mercy and grace! May all glory be to the merciful God on the throne of grace! “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble (I Pet.. 5:5).” May the Lord help us grow in humility until the day we see His face.

I thank the Lord for His wonderful leading. After my return to Shanghai from the Labor Camp in 1979, I taught in a university and at the same time served in the House-Church*. At the time, most of the elderly servants of the Lord had already gone to be with Him; so I personally had no intention of leaving the country. Later, however, I was clearly directed to do so by the Lord. Flying over the Pacific Ocean on my way to the United States, I asked the Lord what His will was for bringing me over. I then had a deep conviction: to make known to overseas Christians, according to what I had received, of what God had done in China. This book is part of such an attempt.

Praise the Heavenly Father for His magnificent and boundless capacity and for His infinite love and wisdom! Though I am destitute, He is Lord of all - He could use the colt of Paran and Pharaoh Necho to speak for Him (II Chr. 35:22). For His own glory, may the Lord condescend once more in this end-time to disclose part of His will through this humble, incapable and unworthy servant of His. Let us sincerely and humbly look up to Him for mercy, enlightenment and encouragement. Meanwhile, may He bind up Satan so that I will not be impeded from acting as the Lord has commissioned. May honor and glory be to God, forever and ever, Amen!

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Joshua YuLos Angeles, U.S.A. October 1996

*House-Church:In mainland China, there is no freedom of belief. The

official churches are the so-called “Three-Self Churches” established and controlled by the government. They are forced to accept the atheistic government’s policies and regulations as the highest authority and are, therefore, not real Christian churches. For instance, the preaching of some biblical truth is prohibited – such as: the second coming of the Lord Jesus; do not love the world, etc. Also, young people below 18 are not allowed to attend church meetings.

The House-Churches hold Jesus Christ as the Head of the Church and the Bible as the sole authority of Christian living and ministry. Christians of these underground or semi-underground churches usually assemble in their homes, mostly in small groups. They have long been subjected to trials and are in urgent need of fervent prayer support.

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PART I

Bible Verses:“Now great multitudes went with Him. And He turned and

said to them, “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. …… So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple.” (Luke 14:25-27, 33)

“For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (II Cor. 4:17-18)

“… if children, then heirs – heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” (Rom. 8:17-18)

Let Us Pray:

Our Loving Heavenly Father, our God whom we adore and serve:

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We thank you that, by the blood of your Son Jesus and His life, we can gather here to recount your gracious blessings. Our Father and our God, in this age of difficult, evil, lustful and corrupt times, how we need Your grace! We deeply feel that we need Your grace and mercy far more than we are aware of.

Oh Father, be gracious to us today! Before you, all creation is naked and exposed. You are the Lord who searches our hearts and minds, and You know what is deep down in our soul. You know the real condition of our life and service. Father, shine on us - enlighten us with Your intensive light. In this crooked and perverse age, we pray that You will make us as shining lights in the world that hold forth the word of life. May Your grace and Your presence be with us; take away our pride and grant us a humble and teachable heart.

Our God and Father, we commit this brief moment into Your hands. We know that men can do nothing – men are destitute and mere nothing. You alone are the Lord of life and the source of life. We therefore fix our eyes on You. Oh Lord, for Your own glory and Your own name’s sake, fill us with Your grace, that You may gain some dedicated followers who will do anything to please You. Our God, please listen to our prayers! Our days are numbered; in these remaining days, let us learn to “redeem our time because our days are evil.”

Our Loving Father, we earnestly look up to You, and solely depend on You in our earthly days. Hear us pray, Father, in the holy name of Jesus Christ, Amen!

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We Shall All Come Before the Judgment Seat of Christ

Dear brothers and sisters, one day we shall all come face to face with the Lord. What will we be like on that day when we stand before the Judgment Seat of Jesus Christ? This is an extremely important question; one that concerns not only the millennium but also our eternity. On the day we see the Lord, He will differentiate “good and faithful servants” from “wicked and slothful servants,” as well as “wise virgins” from “foolish virgins.” When the fire appears before the Judgment Seat, the works of some people will be revealed as wood, hay and straw and be burned. As for those who have followed the Lord faithfully and pure-heartedly in their life-span, their works will be revealed as gold, silver and precious stones in the fire before the Judgment Seat; not only will they be able to withstand the fire, they will even shine forth.

Have you ever thought about which type of person you actually are? Have you asked yourself what your genuine spiritual condition before God is like? What a crucial question this is! When we preach, we say to the unbelievers (gospel friends), “this night your soul will be required of you; then whose will those things be, which you have provided?” (Luke 12:20) “For what will it profit a man, if he gains the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?” (Mark 8:36, 37) We tell them that one day they will face the righteous and holy God of all creation, and we ask them what they will do then. Yet it is to us believers that the Lord’s servant Apostle Paul

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said, “Do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is” (Eph 5:17). Our days on earth are very short; what is it that we live for during this short period? Do we live for the glory of God or do we live for ourselves, our families, our careers and our wealth? Please remember, on the day when we stand before the Lord’s judgment seat, He will bestow a crown on those who love Him wholeheartedly (II Tim. 4:7-8). This crown is the symbol and measure of our love for the Lord.

The Lord’s Faithful Followers Will Experience Suffering

It has been eight years since I left China (in 1986). Having visited some churches in the Free World, I gained a deep feeling that, were it not for the enormous grace of the Lord, very few will, on the day we see Him, be called by the Lord as faithful and loyal servants, or wise virgins, whose life and service will be like gold, silver and precious stones. Without going through a prolonged period of trials, it is not easy for us to realize our true spiritual condition - which is why many co-workers (ministers) in China fell in the trials. I do not say this to discourage us; but rather to speak the truth in love - sounding the alarm to pre-awaken us to re-dedicate ourselves, while at the same time “forgetting those things which are behind, reaching forward to those things which are ahead, and press toward the goal” (Phil. 3:14).

The Lord’s disciples testified to us that they had seen the resurrected Lord. Some had even seen the transfigured Lord in the mountain. Paul had encountered the Lord on his way to Damascus

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and had even been caught up to the Paradise. These disciples informed us of an absolutely real spiritual world. Faced with the sacrificial love of Christ and the eternal glory ahead, they cast away all things unpleasing to the Lord, just as Jesus had “for the joy that was set before Him endured the Cross, despising the shame and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Heb. 12:2).

Paul said, “… Jesus Christ my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ (Phil. 3:8).” He also said, “I go bound in the spirit to Jerusalem, not knowing the things that will happen to me there except that the Holy Spirit testifies in every city, saying that chains and tribulations await me. But none of these things move me, nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I might finish my race with joy, and the ministry, which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God (Acts 20:22-24).” Why was Paul so absolute and single-minded in his walk that he even suffered all costs? That is because he knew that if he followed the Lord faithfully in his earthly days and suffered for His name’s sake, some day such light and transient afflictions would bring him far greater eternal glory. Also, constrained by the profound love of Christ as demonstrated on the Cross, Paul was certain that it was only appropriate for him to live faithfully in the Lord’s will. May the Lord have great mercy on us, that we may imitate Paul just as he imitated Christ.

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Few Are Willing to Give The Lord Their All

Have we ever thought about the meaning of “eternity”? I remember that at a gospel meeting I attended when I was young, a senior Christian brother tried to explain what “eternity” meant. He said that there were about 200-300 c.c. of water in his cup, with each c.c. containing about 20 drops. He also had a funnel for the water in the cup to flow through. Presuming it would take 10,000 years for one drop of water to go through the funnel, then how many years will it take for all the water in the cup to go through? That would take 40 million to 60 million years. How many years will it take then for water in a pond or a swimming pool to pass through the funnel? That would be an enormous figure ending with many zeroes. Now then, how many years will it take for all the water in the Pacific Ocean to go through the funnel? That would be an even more enormous figure. Yet, compared to eternity, that length of time will be just like an eye-wink!!

We must understand that eternity is a serious matter. How do we actually live and function in this world? Are we self-centered or God-centered? This is a matter that not only affects whether or not we shall have a share of the glory of the Kingdom of God and the millennium, but of the eternity as well (I John 2:17; II Cor. 4:17). The eternal glory is something God has prepared for those who love and honor Him wholeheartedly. They have drunk the cup that He had drunk and are baptized with the baptism with which He was baptized (Mark 10:35-40). This is why in past history numerous saints sacrificed themselves and offered their all to follow and love the Lord.

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Thank and praise the Lord! During the several decades I was in China, I encountered many Christians who followed the Lord pure-heartedly. Even though they represented only a small percentage of Christians, they were, nevertheless, a group of pure-hearted followers of Jesus of Nazareth. Despised by the world and regarded as “the filth of the world and the offscouring of all things” (I Cor. 4:13), they were also referred to by Paul as “If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable”. Brothers and sisters, are both you and I more pitiful than the rest of the world? Are we regarded as “the filth of the world and the offscouring of all things” for the sake of Jesus Christ? Or, are we regarded as people of outstanding status in the secular world?

What I have observed during my several decades in China (from 1949 when China came under Communist rule, up till my departure in 1986), is the message that I am bringing to brothers and sisters in the United States (the Free World). Or, to be more exact, it is an alarm or warning that there are not many who really know the Lord, not many who really love the Lord, and not many who are truly spiritual. Those whom we used to regard as spiritual were those who preached well and had eloquence as well as sound biblical knowledge. That was fine; but let me tell you: among such people very few really knew the Lord and shone in the trials. Oh, it is useless to be praised by men and be regarded by men as spiritual and great! On the contrary, it does not matter if we are despised. That is because on the day when we shall all appear before the Judgment Seat of Christ “the Lord will bring to light the hidden things of darkness and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts; and then shall every man have praise of God.” (I Cor.

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4:5). What really matter are the Lord’s final words at the Judgment Seat – that is, the Lord’s “evaluation.”

Thank God for allowing the Chinese Christians to experience decades of fiery trials even before the advent of the fire before the Judgment Seat. It let us realize our true spiritual condition in the fire, leading us “through the fire and through water … into abundance” (Ps. 66:12).

The Lord’s Followers Must Truly Deny Themselves

Let me testify to brothers and sisters. During the several decades in China we noticed what type of people shone for the Lord in the trials. We know that the Bible uses “fire” as an analogy for “trials.” Fire can light up; it can also burn and purify. It can show us what we do not usually see, revealing those remnants and impurities in us which are not from Christ; it will then burn and purify them. During the fiery trials, those Christians who shone forth were not the ones who were intellectual, knowledgeable, famous or capable but, rather, the humble ones who loved the Lord pure-heartedly and who abided in Christ. They were genuine and practiced a life of dying to the world and to self. They did not depend on their own capabilities, wealth or intelligence. Rather, they learned to solely depend on the Lord and to follow Him humbly, and were willing to bear the cross, to experience affliction and to suffer loss.

In times of peace and freedom with the absence of trials, we, as well as others, may think quite well of ourselves even when we are not daily following the Lord. However, as soon as trials

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come, we immediately fall. In the gospel of Luke, Chapter 12, there was a multitude of thousands who followed the Lord – “even stepping on each other”. I think that the number of people mentioned in Chapter 14 was no smaller. The Lord was not like certain preachers nowadays who became proud as their church congregation grew in size to hundreds and thousands. What was Jesus like? He turned his head around and told all the people following Him that only those who loved God more than their wives, their children and themselves could be His true followers – in other words, only those who were willing to take up the cross daily, to deny themselves and to sacrifice their all could be His true followers. He mentioned three “not’s”.

What we experienced in China for several decades has proven how true the Lord’s words are! Thus, we need to look up to the Lord for mercy and to love Him not only in words as said in the Bible: “This people honors Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me, and in vain they worship Me” (Mark 7:6,7). We need to ask the Lord for mercy that we may truly love Him and be willing to sacrifice our all, even our lives, to follow Him. Otherwise, not only will we not be able to withstand the fire at the Judgment Seat, we will not be able to go through the fire of trials in our earthly days.

I was deeply touched by the testimonies of a few brothers and sisters during the trials in China, some of which I am going to share in this book.

There was a sister, named Pearl Dong, whose testimony is very precious and inspiring (see Part II Chapter 3). Were it not for this instrument of the Lord, I would have died long ago and not be here today. How I thank and praise the Lord for His mercy

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towards me through this sister! She was neither well-educated nor doctrinally sound. Let me tell you the following regrettable incident. When she was in Shanghai, she asked to join in the communion of the assembly that I attended. Two elders in the Shanghai Christian Assembly opposed as they considered that she did not clearly present her born-again experience. Only one elder said that she had the life of a born-again Christian and should therefore be allowed to join in the communion. It was this ordinary-looking and unimpressive sister, who was considered unqualified even for joining the communion, that the Lord had used to save me. As to how many more people she had saved, I never heard her mention. From her, we can grasp an idea of what is meant by bearing the cross and denying oneself. It is easy for us to sing hymns and to pray; yet what will we be like when it comes to offering ourselves truly to the Lord??

Oneness in Christ

I admit that our church was very proud, probably the proudest among all churches in China. This was because we had a very intelligent and brilliant leading brother who knew the Bible by heart, had studied many spiritual works, and was a very knowledgeable and eloquent preacher. In the church history of China, he was perhaps the first to introduce the recovery of the basic Truth for the global Church since Martin Luther’s time. He had a remarkably rich knowledge of the Bible and could be called a true professor of theology. Regrettably, the members’ acts and

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love in Christ did not measure up, for “knowledge puffs up, but love edifies” (I Cor. 8:1).

There is an old Chinese saying: “An overturned cart in front is a warning for those following behind.” It is true that the knowledge of biblical truth is very important (“add to virtue… knowledge- II Pet. 1:5”; and “my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge – Hos. 4:6”). However, with only biblical knowledge in the brain but no love, one becomes puffed up with conceit. There should be a combination of both, as said in the Bible, “… that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment; … that you may be sincere and without offence till the day of Christ” (Phil. 1:9-10; I Cor.8:1).

It was due to our pride and exaltation of men instead of Christ that we, with the exception of a few, failed tragically. “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6).

We praise the Lord, though, for teaching us many valuable lessons during the trials. One of these was: all those whom the Lord Jesus has redeemed with His precious blood are all our brothers and sisters, and they are all precious. The day will come when “it was fitting for Him, for whom are all things, and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons to glory” (Heb. 2:10). Therefore, ever since leaving the Labor Camp after many years of Reform, we dare not divide or strive, or despise among ourselves (I Cor. 3:1; Titus 3:10; Eph. 4:3). All being children of God, we should serve the Lord in one accord.

After I came to the United States, there were brothers and sisters concerned for the churches in China who sometimes entrusted me with money (I never asked for donations), with the request that I arrange to pass it on to trustworthy leaders of House-

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Churches for the Lord’s work and for distribution to needy ministers imprisoned or sent to Labor Camps, as well as needy ministers preaching in remote villages and mountain regions. I then arranged to pass the money to the faithful and mature saints in China for distribution to all who were faithfully preaching in accordance with the biblical truth, irrespective of their denominational background. It is very important that we do not have prejudice (I Tim. 5:21).

In the past, we claimed that ours was the church of Philadelphia (Gr. brotherly love) and that other churches were Sardis, Thyatira, or Laodicea. We condemned denominationalism, not knowing that our own concept of denomination was actually deeper and our line of denomination sharper. Yet, when trials hit, we were no stronger than others, and there was no testimony characteristic of the church of Philadelphia. Of those brothers and sisters who shone amid the trials, a great percentage did not have our church background. Sister Dong was a more typical one who, despite our refusal to let her join in the communion, was forgiving and generous enough to reach out her loving hand to save our lives at her own risk. The Bible says, “If one loves God, he is known by God” (I Cor. 8:3). In the book of Revelations, there were calls to conquerors in each of the seven churches in Asia, and there were conquerors in each of them.

Here, I am reminded of my encounter with a very respectable, elderly sister after I left the Labor Camp in 1979. Sister Grace Zheng had a different denominational background

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from mine, but her testimony2 of following the Lord with courage, dedication and high cost is most impressive. She told me that one day when she was critically ill in the Labor Camp, a sister in the team passed an offering packet to her. It contained the amount of 10 yuan, which at that time was a considerable sum as the average monthly allowance per person was about 2 or 3 yuan. Sister Zheng asked the sister, “I know that the offering is actually for the Lord and that the Bible teaches ‘do not let the left hand know what the right hand is doing.’ But today I’m moved by the Spirit to ask where this money came from?” The sister replied that it was from a Catholic priest. Oh, dear brothers and sisters, do you see? During trials and suffering, the concept of denominations weakens and vanishes; and there will be no place for it in the future Heavenly Kingdom. Regrettably, once all was calm, the flesh became active again and division and strife recurred (I Cor. 3:1-3).

The Path of Knowledge & Gift

Over the past ten years since my arrival in the so-called Free World, I have visited quite a number of churches. Allow me to say candidly before the Lord: what most churches today generally advocate are merely scriptural knowledge and gifts (the latter including the so-called “tongues,” “divine healing,” “baptism of the spirit” etc. that are not biblically based), rather than true spiritual experiences (ref. II Cor. 11:23-12:10, etc.).

2 Autobiography of Sister Grace (Huiduan) Zheng: A Masterpiece of God’s

Amazing Grace, published by Chinese Christian Testimony Ministry.

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Some preachers have become so accustomed to preaching mere scriptural knowledge that the more they preach the more profound their sermons become. They may even assume that the more “spiritual” books they read the more spiritual they will grow, and that the more “spiritual” they become the more books they should read. Meanwhile, the audience, being accustomed to the teaching of knowledge, become inapt or indifferent to the genuine word of life and the related spiritual pursuit, challenges, growth and experiences, etc., which to them seem superficial and boring (ref. Eph. 4:13; Phil. 2: 1-11, etc.).

A number of God’s servants, however, mistake mere brain knowledge and gifts for true spiritual life. Where “life, life” is preached, what is the real spiritual condition? Just as the Lord Himself has said, “few” are those who find the narrow path of life (Matt. 7:14, 21-23). Still fewer are those Lord’s servants who themselves walk the path of life and are leading brothers and sisters on the same track. Unworthy as I know I am to speak these words, I feel obligated as commissioned by the Lord.

Before China came under Communist rule, there were indeed some outstanding ministers, both male and female, who were rich in biblical knowledge and spiritual gifts and who often preached about “spirituality” and “life”. The sad thing is (and I speak with a humble and God-fearing heart): very few actually shone in the trials. Rather, quite a number turned out to be stumbling blocks that caused great disappointment and discouragement. Our jealous God had, by exposing the true conditions (ref. I Cor. 4:5), crushed the deeply rooted idolizing concept of brothers and sisters in exalting God’s servants rather

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than the Lord Himself. These lessons of “overturned carts ahead” paid for with blood are noteworthy for us all.

We know for sure that the knowledge of biblical truth is extremely vital. However, it is a most disturbing fact that in the generally bleak state of today’s Church, many Christians do not even study the Bible but are devoted to Mammon! However, if biblical truth merely stays in the brain and is not received by faith with the Holy Spirit to become the reality of our life and service, then we are not building the house on the rock. It “will fall, and great is the fall of it” when “the rain descends, the floods come and the winds blow” (Matt. 7:24-27)! Oh, how far apart “to speak of faith” is from “to live by faith”, and “to speak of the cross” is from “to truly bear the cross”!

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus spoke of two “gates” and two “ways” (Matt. 7:13-14), one wide with a broad way and one small with a narrow way. In the past many Christians who knew and were close to God called the former the “outward way”3

and the latter the “inward way”. There is a world of difference between these two ways. Briefly, only the way that leads to the life of Christ (the inward way) is the one that pleases God – one that is in accordance with God’s Word, lived out of the love of Christ, together with a life and service anointed with the Holy Spirit. “For he is not a Jew who is one outwardly; nor is circumcision that which is outward in the flesh; but he is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is that of the heart, in the Spirit, not in the letter; whose praise is not from men but from

3 The word “destruction” in Matt. 7:13 refers to believers having no part in

the kingdom of heaven, because it was the disciples that Jesus was addressing in the

so-called Sermon on the Mount (Matt. 5:1).

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God” (Rom. 2:28, 29). God does not look at the appearance but at the heart. The path of a God’s servant cannot be determined by his fame, or his academic and social backgrounds, or the size of his church and congregation. Outwardly, the ways that Christians pray, worship and serve may all look alike; inwardly, however, they may be entirely different. Some may act merely outwardly while some act from the depth of the spirit (Luke 18:9-14; Matt. 15:8; Rom. 16:19; Matt. 13:1-16).

Some members have natural virtues and are generous, helpful, modest and gentle, etc. Yet, in the eyes of God and godly people (I Cor. 2:14, 15), such acts of natural virtues are essentially different from the kind of love, humility and meekness, etc. that flow from the life of Christ. Natural virtues are self-initiated, self-dependent and self-centered. They need to be subjected to the cross (ref. I Cor. 13:3). Spiritual virtues originate from God, are empowered by the Holy Spirit, and glorify the Lord Jesus Christ alone.

In itself, suffering has no eternal value unless it is solely for the sake of the Lord and the gospel (I Pet. 4:14; Mark 10:29). However, it does not necessarily go to say that the more one suffers for the Lord the more spiritual insights he gains. In the past and present, countless saints all over the world have suffered for the Lord, but the degrees of benefit thus reaped may all vary; though it is true that those who have gained great spiritual benefits have gone through great suffering (Acts 9:16; II Cor. 4:17). Suffering and other amazing and unique experiences, such as that of Paul being caught up into Paradise, may even turn out to be spiritual burdens (Heb. 12:1), forming grounds for pride and self-exaltation (II Cor. 11:23-33; 12:6,7). However, by the work of the

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Holy Spirit, suffering can make a Christian humbler, more trusting, holier and more righteous. Therefore, we need to constantly look to the Lord for mercy and grace and to put behind us the past (regardless of success or failure, honor or humiliation), diligently pressing on towards the goal.

A brother once wondered why it was that Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit during Pentecost, had led 3,000 and later 5,000 people to Christ, whereas Steven, also filled with the Holy Spirit, invited only a shower of stones to become the first martyr. The instruments used by God to write the gospel of Luke and Acts, namely Doctor Luke and Apostle John, avoided talking about themselves but skillfully concealed themselves. J.N. Darby, a servant of God in the last century, forbade the writing of his biography. Apostle Paul, however, publicized his experiences and deeds. Others, like George Mueller (a servant of God in the 19 th

Century) and James Hudson Taylor (of the China Inland Mission) also left behind their autobiographies. The Holy Spirit’s lead for each one varies; as long as it is from the indwelling Holy Spirit, it is pleasing to the Lord.

The Narrow Path of Life

The Lord Jesus says, “without Me, you can do nothing (John 15:5).” This is the main dividing line between the path of life and the path of knowledge and gifts.

This is what we have seen with our own eyes and have personally experienced: all that which was done without the Lord is but wood, hay and straw. On the surface, it could appear to be

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very great, prosperous, active and successful; yet, it had no real spiritual value and could not withstand trials. That was why even Satan did not care to pay any attention (Job: 1:8; Dan. 10: 12-13).

I encourage and alert myself and others in the Lord with the following facts. Those on the path of knowledge and gifts depend on their own wealth of intelligence, competence, knowledge, methods and skillfulness to accomplish a great deal through their own enthusiasm, planning, thinking, goal-setting, funding and “recruiting”, etc. All these they do without seeking the Lord’s will. Nor do they constantly humble themselves with fear before the Lord to seek His grace. Outwardly, they also pray and seek, all but routinely. In reality, however, they are motivated by their own desires and ambitions, their own goals and their own strength, eventually attributing glory and success to themselves (see Rom. 11:36). How tragic it is that this is the type of people who will claim before the judgment seat, “Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in your name? And cast out demons in your name? And done many wonders in your name?” In return, the Lord will rebuke, “I never knew you; depart from Me, you that practice lawlessness” (See Matt. 7:21-23). May the Lord have mercy on us.

Thank God that during the trials we also noticed some brothers and sisters who, despite numerous failures, were gradually enlightened by the Lord through His grace and mercy. (Fire can light up and burn up or purify.) In the midst of persecution and trials, they humbly knelt down before the Lord’s feet for Him to open their eyes. Why was it that certain well known preachers with sound biblical knowledge, eloquence and sizable churches and congregations fell? … and fell so badly as to cause many

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others to stumble? On the contrary, why did some, who were simply ordinary servants or maids with no impressive academic and social backgrounds, fame or high ideals and who had never written any books, were able to remain faithful throughout the trials and to shine through, despite torture and life-risks? What is the deciding factor? Thank God that those members eventually realized that it was the type of path they had been taking. In other words, some took the wide gate and the broad way while some took the small gate and the narrow way of life.

We need the Lord’s grace because no one can follow the Lord on his own. To walk the narrow way of life, we need to depend on the Lord every step of the way. If we depend on ourselves, we are bound to fail. Were it not for the mercy and grace of the Lord, those who were accustomed to depending on themselves (their power, talents and money, etc.) would not have let go of their hands to instead depend on and trust the Lord. When all is well, it is easy for us to speak of trust and dependence. However, once confronted with difficulties and trials, we immediately lose our peace and fail to depend on and trust the Lord (Luke: 8:24-27).

The Bible tells us, “I can do all things through Christ which strengthen me” (Phil. 4:13); “in all these things, we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us” (Rom. 8:37). To trust and depend on the Lord is the most important lesson for Christians. It is the Christians’ lifeline and the substance of abiding in Christ. We need to practice it constantly, and be led by God to the realization that, apart from Him, we can do nothing (John 15:5). It is regrettable, however, that churches nowadays

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have so many ways, tactics and capabilities that they are doing things apart from the Lord!

May God have grace on us that we may know how to truly and humbly depend on Him daily in this crooked and perverse age. Blessed are those who trust in the Lord, for they shall not be put to shame. We need to accept what Jeremiah said, “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes, but its leaf shall be green; and shall not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit” (Jer. 17:7-8). May we, by God’s grace, be like this tree rooted by the river. May God bless all brothers and sisters. May these words of sharing provide not merely knowledge of the Truth but rather practical lessons in looking to God’s mercy. With the Lord’s words deeply implanted in our hearts, may we, from now on, know how to seize every moment to follow the Lord.

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PART II

LIFE IN EXILE

In China a series of political movements took place from 1949 to 1958. All the people arrested in the movements, with the exception of those who were imprisoned, were ordered to undergo “Labor Reform.” This was the Communist government’s punitive measure of forced labor in Labor Camps for exiled prisoners.

In 1958 (nine years into the Reform), the government announced regulations for the implementation of “Labor Education” - a course of action almost unknown to foreigners. Basically, “Labor Reform” pertained to the sentence for criminal offences whereas “Labor Education” pertained to the highest disciplinary action for dissent of government policies. Legally speaking, they were different in nature; yet both types of offenders were subject to forced labor and were governed by the same Bureau.

In the early stage of carrying out Labor Education, the sentence term was not fixed - ending only when the reform was deemed complete and successful. For instance, in a Labor Camp in Fujian Province between 1958-1962, less than 1% of those on Labor Education were considered to have been well-reformed, while more than 50% had died during the reform. Generally, on completion of the reform, they would still be detained in the Labor Camp but allowed home visitations of two weeks each year (except

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during the Cultural Revolution – special permit required). Such visitations were usually charged with mixed feelings, mostly sorrow rather than gladness.

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CHAPTER 1

Sent to Labor CampFor Holding Fast The Truth

In 1952 I graduated from Soochow University which was founded by the Wesleyan Denomination. All the graduates in my class, totaling 16, were assigned to work in the Chinese Academy of Science with most promising prospects. I, however, was the only one assigned to work as a high-school teacher, a relatively unpromising position in the Chinese society at that time. I was singled out because I was a minister and the government had derogatorily labeled me a “Ring-leader of Little Flock.” (Little Flock was a derogatory name of a Christian group formally called The Christian Assembly4 or The Local Church.)

My fiancée was a 1951 graduate of Nanjing University Medical School (oral department). At the time the nation was staging a “contra-America and pro-Korea” campaign. My fiancée

4 The Christian Assembly was founded by a world-famous Bible scholar,

Brother Watchman Nee, in Shanghai around 1922. Since then, it had grown very

rapidly. After Brother Nee’s arrest in 1952, it had gone through great changes.

Personally, by God’s mercy, I, too, have changed drastically – first of all, I no longer

broke off fellowship with Christians of any denominational backgrounds but gladly

fellowship with all who are members of the Body of Christ, treasuring the Oneness in

Christ (John 17:20-23; Eph. 4:3; Acts 10:34-35).

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was first assigned to work in the Second Military Hospital in Qiqihaer, Helongjiang Province, and was transferred to the Military Rear-service Medical Clinic in Beijing in 1952. In accordance with government policy, because of my fiancée’s relationship, I was to be given preference over my fellow graduates to work in Beijing. In addition, my fiancée’s personnel supervisor, being very trusting of her, had even let her send, by registered mail, the Military Health Bureau’s request for my work transfer to Beijing. Despite all this, I was detained in Suzhou as a high school teacher for being a “Ring-leader of Little Flock.” From man’s perspective, my future as a high school teacher was simply unpromising; yet it was actually a wonderful arrangement of God, a “blessing” rather than a “misfortune.” In high school and in the university, I learned physics in the English language and my educational foundation was good. That was why I rarely needed to prepare for my high school physics lessons, and it took me only 30 minutes to correct the study-work of my 50 students. That left me with plenty of time for spiritual devotion and gospel work - this would have been impossible if I had been sent to Beijing for the endless scientific research and study.

I was young and had a clean personal file with no unfavorable records – what the Communists called “without braids or tails” (meaning: with no political issues); in other words, I was hard to find fault with. Why then was such a person exiled for Labor Reform, and for so many years too? It was all because, in addition to my belief in Jesus Christ, I refused to participate in the so-called “Christian Three-Self Renovation Movement.” The “church” controlled by the “Three-Self”, commonly called The Three-Self Church, was not a true church. It replaced Jesus Christ

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with the Communist Party as the head of the Church, and held Communist religious policies and stipulations rather than the Bible as the basis for Christian living and ministry. Since the beginning of the Three-Self Renovation Movement in 1950, the government had exerted greater and greater pressure to enlist Christians to join and support the Three-Self.

At that time the government imposed that preachers who joined the Three-Self must preach according to the outlines set out by the authorities. The outlines were extremely ridiculous. For instance, there was a case regarding the parable of the “prodigal son” in Luke Chapter 15. I remember clearly what they said, “The prodigal son is symbolic of the proletariat (working class); the fattened calf his father ordered to be killed for the celebration feast is symbolic of the blessed life in a socialist society.” This was the way we were told to preach.

I contended that in the slavery society in which Jesus lived almost 2,000 years ago, there was no such thing as a “proletariat”, that the industrial revolution had not yet taken place and that machines had not yet been invented; whence came the proletariat? I added that even if their outlines were correct and conformable to biblical truth, I could only preach according to what the Holy Spirit had burdened me with rather than what they had outlined, because I was a servant of Jesus Christ, not of them. Consequently, they considered me very rebellious and adamant and ordered me to undergo intensive ideological reform. I was then sent to Nanjing for brainwashing in 1954. At the time, the government stipulated that each church in Jiangsu Province had to send one person (a pastor, minister or preacher) to Nanjing to participate in the Three-Self Renovation Movement program. I was chosen because I had

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strongly refused to join the Three-Self. At the time, I was teaching physics in a high-school. Unable to find a qualified substitute, they would rather settle for an unqualified one and insist that I go.

There were about 200 participants in the program. The Minister of Propaganda of Jiangsu Province, Mr. Yu, made an opening address entitled “Christianity as the Imperialists’ Tool for Cultural Invasion.” He urged all of us preachers to admit that Christianity was a tool used by imperialists for cultural invasion of China to poison the minds of the Chinese people, and that all missionaries were actually imperialists under the cloak of religion. Under the political pressure, the 200 or so preachers present all consented, “Yes, we’ve been used by the imperialists. Our headquarters are abroad (hence, not self-governing), we receive foreign funds (hence, not self-supporting), and we have foreign missionaries (hence, not self-preaching). We therefore choose to support and join the Three-Self Renovation Movement. We’ll practice anti-imperialism along with patriotism and will make a clear break from imperialism and foreign Christian missions.”

How I thank and praise the Lord! Throughout this period, the Lord’s Spirit filled, strengthened and touched me, and I retorted, “Imperialism has nothing to do with Christianity. True Christianity cannot possibly be used by imperialism. Though neither imperialism nor capitalism existed when Jesus was walking on earth, we find in the Bible that the righteous God condemns and judges oppression and exploitation of the poor, the orphaned and the widowed. Moreover, numerous facts in church history have proven that true Christianity and imperialist invasion are not related.”

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“Cultural Invasion by Imperialism”Not related to True Christianity

I went on to illustrate: “In recent Chinese history, there was an incident in Shandong Province in 1897, in which two German missionaries were killed. Using this incident as a pretext, the German government deployed warships to occupy the Gulf of Jiaozhou. In March the following year, the Chinese government (Qing Dynasty) was compelled to sign an unfair treaty with Germany. This was recorded in history as the Incident of the Gulf of Jiaozhou. When the two missionaries were martyred for the Lord, their wives were also in China. They clarified their positions to the German government saying that their husbands were martyred for the gospel of Jesus Christ and that the government should not have used this incident as a pretext for the invasion of China. What is a true Christian church? Look, this is one! These missionaries were true servants of Jesus Christ. In obedience to the Lord and in submission to the leading of the Holy Spirit, they had left their own country, families and friends to preach in a foreign land. For the name of the Lord and for preaching the gospel, they had endured a great deal of sufferings and difficulties in respect of lifestyles, language, habits and social systems, willingly laying down their lives in the end. Except for those Christian churches or Christian members who have fallen away from the Word of God and the leading of the Holy Spirit, Christianity cannot be used by imperialists as a tool for invasion.”

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I gave another illustration, “In the early 17th Century, a huge and well-known Company in India, named East India Company, was a private joint- venture of Portugal, the Netherlands and Britain. After a long period of internal strife, the British merchants took over control of the Company. The British Government then exercised economic invasion of India through the East India Company. They purchased raw materials at low prices and, after simple courses of processing, sold the products at considerably higher prices. Consequently, the country of India became poorer and poorer. Some missionaries who were preaching in India at the time pointed out to the British government that such were mean acts of exploitation. When the East India Company learned about this, they were enraged and declared that their ships would cease carrying missionaries to and from India. Given the poor transportation systems of the 19 th

Century, such an act of retaliation resulted in great hindrance to the mission work of the British churches. Not only did the journey take as long as half a year by land, it was very dangerous and difficult. It is clear from this illustration that those Christian churches and missionaries who truly obeyed the Lord and walked in His light have nothing to do with cultural invasion. Quite the opposite, a number of missionaries have brought into China, besides the gospel, certain western technologies - an early example being Matteo Ricci (1552-1610) who translated the books The Principles of Geometry and The Basics of Astronomy.”

In short, because of my persistence, I was regarded as a diehard. (This was also why I was later labeled as “counter-revolutionary” and taken under escort to the Labor Camp – see Chapter 2.)

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Let me reiterate one point here: In both the New and the Old Testaments of the Bible, we are told time and again that we, as children of God, are opposed to oppression and exploitation of anyone, whether it be our neighbor, a foreigner, the orphaned, the widowed, the poor or the afflicted - God forbids us. Here are some biblical verses in this regard: “you shall not be like a money-lender to him; you shall not charge him interest” (Ex. 22:25); “… the man to whom you lend shall bring the pledge out to you … you shall not keep his pledge overnight; you shall in any case return the pledge to him again when the sun goes down …” (Deut. 24:11-13); “you shall not oppress a hired servant who is poor and needy; … each day you shall give him his wages, and not let the sun go down on it” (Deut. 24:14, 15); “if a … man … is sold to you and serves you six years, then in the seventh year you shall let him go free from you. And when you send him away free from you, you shall not let him go away empty-handed. You shall supply him liberally from your flock, from your threshing floor, and from your winepress. From what the Lord has blessed you with, you shall give to him” (Deut. 15:12-14). True Christians and churches act according to God’s words and have absolutely nothing to do with “imperialist invasion.”

Interview with Religious Affairs Chief

January 1956 was a time of turbulent wind preceding a torrent; all Christian churches in the nation were immersed in an atmosphere of unprecedented terror. It was shortly after the arrests of brothers Zhen-qing Hu (in Zhejiang) and Min-dao Wang (in Beijing), and sweeping persecutions were about to break out. One

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day in late January, I received a phone call from Mr. Wang, the Religious Affairs Chief of Suzhou Special District, instructing me to go for an interview. Riding on the bicycle on my way there, I pleaded for the presence of the Lord and begged Him to give me appropriate words of wisdom just as He had promised (“When they deliver you up, do not worry about how to speak; or what you should speak. For it will be given you in that hour what you should speak.” (Matt. 10:19).

The interview took place in a long and narrow reception room, with Chief Wang and I sitting on the east side and a listener on the west. (I found out a few days later that the listener was the Deputy Chief of Public Security who later charged me with being “counter-revolutionary”.) Chief Wang spoke in a straight-forward manner, “I’m very busy and have no time to waste. Tell me right away whether you’re joining the Three-Self or not. If you do, we’ll bear with you; you’ll be cleared and can go on teaching; but if you don’t, you’ll have to suffer all the consequences.” Most literate Chinese people understood what the word “consequence” meant – it was either Labor Reform or imprisonment, or “political death” as the Communists called it - something greatly dreaded by most people. The family of a “politically dead” person had to suffer enormously: all friends and relatives made clear breaks from him, and his wife and children were despised and had to endure all kinds of unfair treatments, including political and financial, educational and development opportunities, job placements, wages, etc. Therefore, these “politically dead” persons were mostly divorced by their wives - who knew that even if their spouses were released later, they would still remain socially inferior and be subject to mistreatment, the worst jobs and the

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lowest wages (in short, they would have no future). They were commonly called “Released Elements of Labor Reform” or “Released Elements of Terms Served,” and the unfavorable entries in their personal files would remain for life. One Communist judge once boasted, “Before me in my court, even the toughest and bravest person will collapse and cry like a child.”

How I thank the Lord that, through His gracious support, I did not have the slightest concern for my personal interests even when confronted with such harsh judgment. I only knew that, being God’s servant, I could not go against my conscience nor could I depart from biblical teachings. At that moment I was totally calm, clear-minded and humble before the Lord when I stated, “Chief, I’m a Christian and can’t disobey the teachings in the Bible. The Bible says, ‘Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except from God.’ Therefore, as long as there’s no contradiction with God’s words in the Bible, I’ll not be anti-government, anti-Party or anti-revolution. However, the Bible also says, ‘We ought to obey God rather than man.’ No man can make me disobey God and violate the principles of the Bible; this has to do with my faith, not opposition to the Party and the government. With regard to joining the Three-Self Church, I consider it a violation of biblical principles; therefore, I can’t join. I’ll appreciate your consideration and understanding.”

Chief Wang shook his head and did not say a word. The interview ended.

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Stormy Days

About a week later, on January 29th, some ministers and elders of the nearby Shanghai Christian Assembly were labeled as “elements of counter-revolutionary gang” and were arrested. Following this, other co-workers and elders, of whom my father was one, were gathered at the Assembly’s meeting-place located at 145, Nanyang Road for closed-door interrogation, isolated from the media and their families. The cadres exerted great pressure on them, coercing them to disclose each other’s faults and to confess their own crimes of “conducting counter-revolutionary activities under the cloak of religion.” Soon afterwards, on February 1st, the leading media in Shanghai, as well as other parts of the nation, reported with exaggeration and distortion of facts on the Christian Assembly’s “shocking counter-revolutionary activities under the cloak of religion.” Some authorities concerned also arranged “accusation meetings” in an effort to destroy the Christian faith. We must admit, though, that such activities did expose the hidden sins of certain church leaders, resulting in deep feelings of hurt among brothers and sisters.

In mid-February, some brothers and sisters (including my father) who were earlier interrogated in confinement, were also arrested and locked up in the Shanghai Tilan Bridge Prison. My father had been ill with cirrhosis and had been working as usual until the arrest. Fifty days later, on April 13th 1956, unable to withstand the torture of sleepless interrogation, he died a martyr5.

5 For details, please read The Path of Life (Drawing Near to God), published

by the Chinese Christian Testimony Ministry.

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I was in Suzhou at the time and was accused of being a “young core member of the counter-revolutionary gang under the cloak of religion” as well as being a representative of the gang’s “chief culprits” in Suzhou. I was ordered to attend a series of accusation meetings (I was the target) held in the largest theatre in Suzhou, and to denounce “from a higher plane of principle” with exaggerated, distorted and even fabricated criticisms and “down with xxx!” slogans. Meanwhile, I was ordered to teach as usual, to correct student assignments and to prepare lessons. In addition to my responsibilities as a physics and chemistry teacher in a senior class of a prominent high-school, I had to report to the Public Security office every night to “deal with my issues”, returning home no earlier than 11 p.m.

Yet, praise the Lord! No matter how weak and pitiful a man is, the Lord is merciful and His grace is always sufficient. Whoever trusts in Him will not be put to shame. During this time, the Lord gave me an experience of “when they deliver you up, do not worry about how or what you should speak. For it will be given to you in that hour what you should speak; for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father who speaks in You” (Matt. 10:19-20). How wonderful that the Lord truly rules over all; He made me experience “the preparations of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord” (Prov. 16:1; Ex. 4:12). How amazing that God not only taught me what to speak but also controlled the questioning of my interrogators! Therefore, those who honor God need not be afraid, for He will never permit “lords and kings” to drive His children to despair. God will make our enemies forget, or not think about, what we cannot submit

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(such as betraying brothers), and will also teach us to be “wise as serpents and as harmless as doves (Matt. 10:16).”

Walking Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death

Dear brothers and sisters, actually what we had to endure during those days of violent storm was nothing like the situation of martyrdom that Daniel and his friends were in. If we were to become martyrs for faith, I believe quite a number of brothers and sisters would be willing to sacrifice themselves. Nor was it like the sudden, inevitable calamity that Job found himself in, though that certainly was a typically vigorous trial. What we were faced with was the kind of extremely frightful and treacherous political pressure that we had never before heard of or read about. In addition, there was the kind of betrayal and stamping from those like Judas who sided with the enemies, as well as traps with twisted definition of “submitting to governing authorities.” All these caused us to give up our principles, to ignore God’s words and to unconditionally submit to the atheists. Apart from this, even more heartbreaking was the exposure of the dark side of the church during the process. Oh, how the righteous God had used the fiery trials to subject sinful acts to harsh judgment! Such riveting pain was too great for mortal beings. With experience accumulated over some 6,000 years, Satan had expended all his evil tricks. Brothers and sisters were perplexed, terrified and “cursed their days” (Job 3:1); many stumbled, fell and even abandoned their faith. Thanks be to our Heavenly Father who knew how to carry those who honor Him through the valley of the shadow of death (II Chr. 16:9), safeguarding their faith by His

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grace and the precious blood (Luke 22:32). Meanwhile, through these trials, our jealous God had harshly judged and destroyed the deeply rooted inclination of many believers (especially those with The Christian Assembly background) – the great sin of exalting men instead of Jesus Christ our Lord.

In the climax of the “Elimination of Counter-revolutionary Movement,” I suffered heart problems as a result of great pressure from work and from the horrifying darkness. Yet, even if my illness were more serious, I could not have obtained sick-leave to free myself from the denunciation activities. I was not even permitted to return to Shanghai to see my father when he was very ill. On April 12th, around noon, my father was in a critical and semi-conscious state, and the prison physician determined that he had less than 24 hours to survive. It was not until then that permission was given for my father “to be released on bail for medical treatment.” At 9 p.m. my younger brother Chong-xin, my brother-in-law Zu-guo Chen and my mother took my father (on life support) in an ambulance from the Shanghai Tilan Bridge Prison to the emergency ward of Hongren Hospital where my brother Chong-xin was an intern. It was not until just a few hours earlier, when he was on the brink of unconsciousness, that I was permitted to leave Suzhou for the hospital emergency ward. He opened his eyes for just a few minutes. With great earnestness, I said, “Dad, I’m Chong-en (Joshua). You must cling to the Lord.” I spoke in our hometown dialect for fear that others in the ward would report on my “sympathizing with a counter-revolutionary element.” My father uttered his acknowledgement. He went to be with the Lord at 7:10 a.m. the next day.

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Support from Godly Members

How I thank the Lord for two very devout and loving elderly sisters! They were my neighbors in Suzhou. It was by the great grace of the Lord that these two adorable senior sisters were there to lovingly support and pray for me during the days of my trial. One of them was nine years my mother’s senior. Every night she waited to ensure my safe return from the Public Security office, checked my complexion and asked a couple of questions. Only then did she feel relieved and retire to bed.

I remember that one time my pregnant wife, a kind-hearted and honest person who would never harm anyone, made a special journey from Shanghai to Suzhou to see me. Because of increasing political pressure and not wanting to involve her, I only let her stay for two to three hours. I could only commit her and our unborn child to the loving Father and pray that He would keep her with peace beyond understanding. At the time I had to report regularly to the Public Affairs Office and to notify them of my visitors; it was therefore better for her to cut short her stay to avoid any trouble. Since I had not committed any crime but had simply refused to join the Three-Self, I was considered to have ideological problem which was not subject to immediate arrest under the existing policy.

In 1957, three years into our marriage, the government announced its policy to honor spousal relationship, and I was consequently transferred from Suzhou to Shanghai. It was not until the latter stage of the “Anti-Rightist Struggle” in May 1958 that I was labeled as a “counter-revolutionary” and exiled under escort to the Labor Camp.

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CHAPTER 2

Labor Camp In Semi-Virgin Forest

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In Northern Fujian (1958-1962)

On May 3rd, 1958 I was escorted from my home to the detention center at 723 Wangbin Road where I stayed for the next 2 months. Every morning we were required to jog around the drill-ground to render ourselves physically fit for the hard labor awaiting us. The rest of the day was spent on political study and on the writing of confessions and the reporting and disclosing of offenders. Around midnight on July 3rd, we were suddenly awakened by the whistle for assembling. The cadres ordered us to immediately pack up our stuff, assemble in the drill-ground and get ready for departure. Awaiting us were a number of big, red police cars from the Public Security office6 and many fully armed soldiers of the People’s Liberation Army (PLA) in motorcycles. As if those undergoing labor reform were unqualified to use railway stations, we were taken to a deserted area about 0.6-0.9 miles away from the station to get on the train.

As the train had to give way to all other passenger or cargo trains, it took us 2 days and 3 nights of rough ride (normally around 15 hours) before arriving at Shaowu in Fujian Province. We were each given some loaves of coarse bread and became very thirsty for lack of drinking water in the summer heat. Arriving at Shaowu, the PLA alighted first and mounted their machine guns to prevent escapes. Right after we had alighted, we were each given a ladle of thin porridge before leaving for the coach-stop. The distance between the train station and the coach-stop was about 3

6 The Public Security Office was equivalent to the Police Department in the

United States or in Taiwan.

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miles. We had to carry our own luggage, about 85 pounds per person, which included all the basic necessities for the four seasons. Until then, I had been a teacher with heart problem. I usually made 10-minute walks to school and occasionally even hired a rickshaw. Now, how could I solve this big problem? Some of us were forced to abandon a portion of their luggage; but I could not. For how could I afford to do so? My father had only just passed away, leaving nothing behind. After his burial, my family had to sell the old furniture in order to make ends meet. Under those circumstances, how could my family afford to provide me with another set of daily needs? Thank God! What a wonderful God He is, for He even moved an escort cadre, named Cecil Xie, to volunteer, “I’ll carry your luggage for you!” Oh, how could this be possible? The Communist Party definitely did not allow anyone to show sympathy towards us “counter-revolutionaries,” for Chairman Mao Tse-tung7 had proclaimed, “compassion for the enemies equals cruelty towards our own people.” For over 20 years of my Labor Reform, I had never again heard of or seen another such case. It was proof that “The king’s heart is in the hand of Jehovah; as the rivers of water, He turns it wherever He will” (Prov. 21:1).

As there were not enough canvassed trucks provided for our use, we all had to stand in the rear of the trucks with our luggage piled up in the front. The trucks were so fully packed that we could not even stand up straight. After a rough ride of 3 hours on the winding mountain roads, we eventually arrived at Jiangle County in northern Fujian Province. There, we switched to small

7 Mao Tse-tung - Chairman of People’s Republic of China 1949-1976.

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wooden boats and sailed upstream until we arrived at the village of Jiang Creek. It was July 6th. The Labor Reform team that I belonged to was to stay temporarily in Zou Village here in Jiang Creek.

Jiang Creek Village was nestled in a lofty semi-virgin forest in northern Fujian Province, on the banks of Golden Creek, by the source of the Min River. It had the setting of a picturesque and poetic tourist retreat. Sparsely populated, backward, primitive, remote and with high mountains and winding paths, it was totally devoid of any means of transportation. Some women in their 60’s had never been farther away from home than 10 miles and had no idea what an automobile looked like. However, their living conditions were rather favorable as compared to other mountain dwellers in China, especially so for the bamboo and lumber workers who used the waterways to transport their goods from this inexhaustible forest (lush with trees and bamboo groves) to the government-run purchasing center. Most of the townspeople lived in wooden houses with tiled roofs, unlike most people in the countryside who lived in huts with thatch roofs and earthen walls.

The farmers had absolutely no modern equipment. Perhaps because of the poor geographical condition, their farming methods were not even as advanced as those of 722-481B.C. in China when plows were first introduced. I had never seen the use of cows for

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farming8 here. The farming tools here were more primitive than the ones in Jiangsu and Zhejiang Provinces - a tool shaped like a clamshell instead of hoe and rake; a spade used in the paddy rice fields to control water supply (to let out excessive water during the rainy season and to block water passage in drought conditions); also, a sickle for cutting and a barrel for threshing. The threshing barrel, about 85 pounds in weight, was small and light compared to the ones used in Wuhu, Anhui Province, which weighed about 275 pounds. Most of the hay was burned in the fields and used as fertilizer while the rest was used as cooking fuel. Other tools were choppers for cutting bamboos and saws for felling trees.

There was plenty of farmland but, because of shortage of manpower, productivity was low. Owing to poor means of transportation, it was hard for the grain for agricultural tax to be transported to State storage stations and it had to be stored up in the local barns. These barns were probably much simpler and cruder than the ones that Joseph (1770 B.C.) built for the Pharaoh. Constructed of wooden boards, a barn looked like a cottage smaller than a garage, with 4 supports at the base and the flooring raised two to three feet above the ground for ventilation. The main task of the Labor Camp was the chopping down and transporting of bamboos. Our food was supplied by the government and we were to fetch the stored grain from the barns. Each time, each of us was

8 The Bible records that cows were used for farming in the time of Job, a

contemporary of Abraham (around 1800 B.C.). At the time of Moses (1500 B.C.) the

law forbade the simultaneous use of cows and donkeys for farming. Even in areas of

Wuhu in Anhui Province, there was no sight of cows working in pairs as in the time of

Elisha.

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to carry back for the team no less than 70 pounds of grain filled in a pair of clean trouser-legs.

There was only one ancient stone-arched bridge in Jiang Creek Village. A historical remnant, it stood above the Golden Creek at the village entrance, like a shining pearl of the village. It denoted the superb architectural standard of our ancestors and could be compared to the Treasure-Belt Bridge in Suzhou (even though it was not as long and had only one arch of about 18 feet in diameter). As firm as a rock, it had withstood countless torrential mountain floods over hundreds of years. Several small cottages were erected on the bridge, one of which once housed the headquarters of our Sub-Camp.

The cultural level of the natives was rather low and schools did not exist. Life was monotonous and primitive, with hardly any social activities. A clause in their “Patriotic Pledge” in the year 1958 was: “men must not kill; women must not commit adultery.” Before 1949, some gangsters and kidnappers hid their victims in the mountain caves and, failing receipt of ransom, killed them at a spot known as the “Pit of Head Sacrifice.”

A “Labor Camp” Beyond Imagination

Life in the Labor Camp was extremely hard. The 20,000 inmates sent here had no place to live (not even tents) and had to build cottages from scratch. Even so, we had to labor first before we could build. Many inmates, therefore, lived under the tall and huge trees from which they hung mosquito nets. They spread mats over hay and rolled up some belongings for use as pillows, placing the rest of their belongings (basic needs for all seasons) at one end

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of the mat. My squad was allotted temporary living space in an old, dilapidated cottage in Zou Village. With 3 walls, no window, no ceiling, shattered roof-tiles and droppings of wild cats, squirrels and birds, it was in an awfully filthy condition. We had to clean it up well to make it more “livable.” On rainy days, the cottage was flooded with dark-brown foul water. I was reminded of Jesus’ words, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man has nowhere to lay His head” (Matt. 8:20). My fellow inmates consisted of murderers, hardened thieves, rapists, swindlers, snatchers, gangsters, beggars and “historical counter-revolutionaries9.”

More than a dozen times a year this coastal semi-virgin forest was hit by typhoons, with rainstorms occurring every week in the summer. For almost half a year before we had finished setting up our simple cottages, our luggage was soaked through in just a few minutes when rainstorms hit.

There was never a day here in northern Fujian that we had a full meal (in fact, I was not even half-filled, including days of festivities.) I had somewhat experienced what Paul said, “We both hunger and thirst, and we are poorly clothed and beaten, and homeless” (I Cor. 4:11). Therefore, many died of hunger, starting with those who were physically strong. That was because they exerted more energy than others but ate the same portion of food; thus, they died for under-nourishment and over-exertion. Some of the inmates who stayed near the mountain-tops also died of cold. Within 4 years, just before the Camp moved to Anhui Province in

9 Members of the Kuomin Party (the former government) who had served in

political, military, intelligence, and administrative positions.

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1962, more than half of the inmates had died (including those who died of illness, suicide, etc.).

Inability to Acclimatize; Burial

The mountain forests of northern Fujian were very humid. Many inmates who were unable to acclimatize were stricken with edema. Contagious diseases were rampant. Insects such as mosquitoes, flies, white ticks, bedbugs and gadflies “worked shifts” day and night; especially so with flies and mosquitoes that attacked our faces at night. For the 4 years in northern Fujian, we did not have a toilet. Instead, we used a simple latrine made of a large clay container lowered into the ground, with 4 bricks as footrests and a cone-shaped straw cover as a rain-shelter. Users of the latrine at night were inevitably bombarded by mosquitoes.

The main task of our Labor Camp was to provide Shanghai with bamboos for use as scaffolds in construction work. One summer day, our squad was sent out to cut fir trees for making raft helms10. The cadre told us to bring along as little belongings as possible as we were expected to return in just three or four days. Not doubting his words, we did not even bring our mosquito nets, only to find out later that we had to stay there for three months. We slept inside a spacious, dilapidated temple and were badly attacked by thousands of mosquitoes. Thank the Lord! Even

10 The helm of a raft was simple to make: Pick a straight stem or trunk of 1.3

feet in diameter and chop it down. Then trim about 6.6 feet of the lower segment to

make it look like a long blade. Affix it to the rear of the big raft, allowing some room

for movement. It could then function as a helm.

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though I had not brought a mosquito net, I had brought a bed-sheet with which I covered myself up. Even though the air was stuffy under a bed-sheet and the big mosquitoes could still pierce their needles through the sheet to draw blood, it was far better than to be openly attacked. After the day’s exhaustive labor, we quickly fell asleep despite empty stomachs and rampant mosquito bites.

On the 4th day of my arrival in Jiang Creek, on July 10th

1958, a cadre suddenly died of meningitis B (conveyed by mosquitoes). Ten members of my squad were ordered to carry his coffin halfway up the mountain for burial. Unable to make a coffin for the rushed burial, the Camp purchased one from a native.

Oh, how pitiful it is for a man to live in the world “without hope and without God” and to have to prepare, even while still alive and years before his death, his own coffin for his anticipated departure without the hope of return. History records that the powerful and awesome Emperor Qin (259-210 B.C.) ordered the building of his tomb while he was only 19 years of age. Today, his tomb has been excavated and provides nothing more than a tourist attraction. If one does not believe in the Lord Jesus, life is but vanity of vanities!

There was little wood-crafting skill in such remote mountain areas. The coffin was very simple and crudely made; only the bottom plank was flat while the other sides were simply split trunks. That was also why the coffin itself weighed as much as 330-440 pounds; together with the dead and his belongings, the total weight came to 550-660 pounds. With the 10 of us divided into 2 teams taking turns, each of us had to carry a weight of roughly 165 pounds. There was no level land to walk on. At first we had to wade in the paddy fields as the field ridges were too

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narrow to walk on. Once on the mountain slope, there was but one narrow and winding path that was extremely difficult to tread. Such a chore was surely too much for a man with heart problem, so I naturally turned to the Lord for help. Bravely, I asked the cadre for special consideration. Thank God for causing the supervising cadre to let me carry only the coffin-bearers’ water-bottles and the clothes they shed because of heat; so my load was much lighter.

Fleas were rampant in the winter while bedbugs and mosquitoes were rampant in the summer. We were quite helpless at first. A man named Boucher Feng once caught more than 200 fleas on the sweater that he took off. Already hunger-stricken even in the winter, how could we let these fleas suck up so much of our blood? The cadre then obtained a huge metal pot, around 6 feet in diameter, filled it with water, brought it to a boil and ordered us to drop our clothes into the boiling water. There were clothes of all colors; even the white ones came out multi-colored afterwards. For a while, the number of fleas decreased but rapidly increased again. It was not until the cadres brought in some ‘666’-brand insecticide that they finally disappeared.

Soon after arrival in this semi-virgin forest, there was a terrible outbreak of dysentery. Having no antibiotics, we simply cooked some leaves of phoenix-tail fern in hope of cure. They were, however, ineffective and many died. As it was summertime, we drank from the stream. Since the inmates living upstream and downstream all washed their clothes and utensils in the same waterway, the disease was easily spread. Also, because those who fell sick and died had not received proper care and were buried and handled without proper hygiene, they soon became the source of infections.

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Besides mosquitoes at night, white fleas in the winter and bedbugs in the summer, there were the very annoying small, black, winged worms only half the size of an ant. Since we had never seen them before and did not know what they were, we simply called them “little black worms”. They appeared in swarms of several hundreds at dusk and at dawn, and disappeared before sunrise and after sunset. Just one sting from a little black worm was enough to cause rash and terrible itch. There were also gadflies in the daytime. They were swift fliers and blood-suckers; by the time you noticed their attack, it was already too late for you to slap it.

Dear brothers and sisters, the foregoing true accounts were written especially for those who are willing to answer the Lord’s call to preach the gospel in remote areas with unfavorable living conditions, such as some under-developed and poverty-stricken areas of Africa, South America and Southeast Asia. Quite a number of missionaries of the China Inland Mission had also experienced such hardship. I recall that Brother David Brainard, at age 24, served as a pioneer missionary among the American Indians, enduring language problems, environmental problems and awful living conditions. The first two years were fruitless. Everyday he prayed very earnestly for two hours, so hard that his clothes were often wet from perspiration. Two years later, the Holy Spirit did mighty works and there was a breakthrough with the Lord’s blessings pouring down. He was very young when he went to be with the Lord (only 29 years old), finishing the good race. May the Lord’s grace be with us, that we may be determined to endure persistent hardship for the Lord and for the gospel (I Pet. 4:1,2; Mark 8:35).

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Starvation

Our stay in northern Fujian lasted for 4 years (1958-1962). During those years, food was rationed. The ration for our Labor Camp was about half a pound per person per day. It was not known whether the cadres had embezzled any portion or how much the kitchen staff had taken in excess of their rationed portions. The provision for breakfast was 2.2 ounces, for lunch 4.4 ounces and for dinner 2.2 ounces. As for vegetables, for the first few months we were given each a bowl of onion soup with only 1 spoonful of onion. Later, a sideline production team was formed to grow vegetables, mainly those species that were fast-growing and highly productive, such as eggplant, mustard, cabbage, water spinach, cucumber, and large pickling cabbage. For each meal, we had only a small quantity of just one type of vegetable that was often over-ripe. Sometimes we had the leaves of sweet potatoes and half a piece of preserved bean-curd. There were 10 of us in a squad, and we took turns everyday to bring the food back in a basin for sharing. As we were starved, we all wanted more, even if it was just a tiny bit more; so we all kept our eyes wide-opened when food was being divided. For dinner, we had sweet potatoes as a substitute for grain; based on the conversion ratio of one to six, we each had 13.2 ounces of sweet potatoes. When the inmate on duty brought back the sweet potatoes, we followed 3 steps of action: first, turned them into 10 piles of similar size; then, with our self-made scale, ensured equal weight for each pile; finally, we cast lots. Even so, every one felt that his own pile was the

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smallest, and it took quite a while for us to overcome this psychological feeling.

The food costs were announced every month. The highest, for the month with Spring Festival, was about 7 yuan ($4.67 US) per person. I remember clearly that the lowest was 4.44 yuan (about $3 US). The official price was 0.11 yuan for each catty of grain, 0.01 yuan for each catty of sweet potatoes, and 0.02 yuan for vegetables. Oil provision was 2.2 ounces per person per month; however, after being ripped off by the kitchen inmates, there was little trace of the oil by the time the food reached our hands.

As for monthly allowance, there were 4 categories: 3.5 yuan ($2.38 US) per month for those who made the top grade in labor and ideological reform; 2.5 yuan ($1.7 US) and 2 yuan ($1.36 US) for lower grades, and 1 yuan ($0.7 US) for those opposed to reform. I was graded to receive 2.5 yuan. There was nothing for me to buy to ease my hunger nor was I free to shop in the small town. Since it was a time when everyone was financially tight, I twice saved up the money to send to my mother.

Hunger drove everyone to try every possible means to find things to eat. The daring and hardened thieves risked stealing food from the natives. One time around the Dragon Boat Festival (on the 5th day of the 5th lunar month), someone stole more than 100 rice dumplings from the natives and ate them up. Of those who picked wild fruits to eat when they were laboring on the mountains, some had died of food poisoning. We then learned that only those fruits that birds ate were edible. A patient named Tao had heard that there was a small shop situated along the way to a hospital eight miles away, which sold snail sauce (snails preserved in very salty sauce). He then made an excuse to go to the hospital

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and bought 21 ounces of snail sauce for about 0.5 yuan. Being starved, he ate the sauce as he walked. Like most others, he had been sick with edema as a result of malnutrition. After eating the very salty sauce, he dropped dead11 about half-a-mile away from the shop. Yet another inmate, like the well-known “White-haired Lady”12 of ancient times, was unafraid of tigers, boars, snakes and the like; he ran away and hid himself in a far-off cave for 3 months. Everyday around 3 a.m. or 4 a.m. he slipped into the kitchen after the cooks had finished making breakfast13 and stole five or six bamboo tubes of rice to bring back to the cave. Finally, some inmates who were chopping down wood for making a raft rudder noticed the smoke of the runaway’s campfire and reported on him. He was arrested, shackled and locked up, and suffered miserably.

Many hungry inmates took their clothes and other personal items to the natives to exchange for food, though such acts of “associating with natives” was a breach of discipline in the Labor

11 It is probable that the high content of sodium ion in the salty snail sauce

might have worsened his edema condition with excessive water accumulation in the

cells.

12 A character in a well-known movie – A poor peasant girl who was ill-

treated and raped by a landlord, she escaped and hid in a far-off mountain cave for

years. Gradually her hair turned white for lack of proper food.

13 We had steamed rice as meals throughout the 4 years in Fujian. We each

had our own bamboo tube into which the cooks put the rationed rice and water. The

cooks woke up in the midnight to steam the rice and returned to sleep again after it was

cooked, around 2-3 a.m.

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Camp. One inmate traded his sweater with a native for 4 pounds of roasted soybeans. Not daring to bring them back to the Camp, he ate them all up as he was walking back to the Camp. After he returned, however, he suffered great abdominal pain. Fearing disciplinary action, he dared not report it until the pain was too great for him. But then it was too late, for the soybeans had expanded and he died of burst stomach. How true these sayings are: “a hungry person is not picky or choosy of what to eat” and “hunger and desperation are torturous.” Perhaps that is why “the hands of the compassionate women have cooked their own children; they became food for them in the destruction of the daughter of my people” (Lam. 4:10).

A group of women in my team were assigned to grow vegetables. There was one inmate named Renee Fu whose husband was also in our Ditch Pond Sub-Camp but in another team. Unfortunately, he had passed away and everyone around her could only secretly feel sorry for her. A person on Labor Reform was treated worse than dogs and pigs; the dead man’s body was buried in the riverbank opposite the Camp instead of the usual burial site “No. 5 Trench.” At the burial, no one other than the wife and several assisting laborers were present. Because of starvation, she had no time to mourn and soon married a kitchen worker in the Sub-Camp just for an additional mouthful of food! How indescribable the hidden agony must have been! Anyway, who would care about the agony of someone on Labor Reform?

At that time, I asked the Lord, “Lord! How have I arrived at such a plight?” Thank God that He is “the God of all comfort!” In my distress and despondence, He told me that “He also was numbered with transgressors.” That was the first time since my

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reform in northern Fujian that the Lord had spoken to me. As the prophet Isaiah prophesized, Jesus was “also numbered with transgressors”(Isa. 53:12). Oh, the Holy One of God, the glorious Creator, numbered among transgressors for to save us! On Mount Calvary He was nailed on the cross between two thieves. So, does it matter whatever would befall me?

Salvaging Bamboos in a Thunderous Night

One night in July shortly after my arrival in Jiang Creek, there was thunder, lightning and heavy downpour. We were awakened from our sleep by the rain dripping through the roof-tile cracks. Hastily, we rolled up our belongings and bedding. Before we had time to find ourselves a dry spot, we heard the blowing of whistle for emergency gathering. Except for the lantern carried by the cadre, it was totally dark in the rain. As ordered, the 150 inmates gathered in front of our dilapidated cottage. None of us had any rain gear on; in a matter of a few minutes we were all soaked through and trembling in the chilly rain. The team leader ordered us to take immediate action to salvage the bamboos (national property) being washed away by the mountain flood.

In the daytime, we chopped down bamboos on the slopes, trimmed off the branches and then carried them to the riverbanks. With our chopping knives, we made a hole on each side of the base of the bamboos. We then stuck a small stem about 3.5 cm in diameter (called the “green wood”) through the bamboo holes. Thin strips of bamboo were then used as rope to fasten the ends of the “green wood” to 15 bamboos together (8 in the lower layer and 7 in the upper layer). This was how a small bamboo raft was

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formed. These rafts were poled downstream by designated persons to the wider part of the river. The small rafts were then combined to form big rafts. Usually, by the time we stopped working, there were many bamboos that had not yet been made into rafts, or small rafts that had not yet been poled down the stream. With the sudden rise of water level during rainstorms and mountain floods, the bamboos and small rafts would be washed downstream. The emergency call was for us to salvage the bamboos that were being jammed at the abrupt turn-off points by risking our lives in the water.

Only one lantern was provided for the 120-150 inmates of a medium-sized team. The narrow paths were paved in the middle with large and smooth stones measuring about 1.5 feet in diameter, with smaller muddy cobblestones on the two sides. The stones were good for bare-feet walking on fine days; but on rainy days with the mud turned into “lubricants”, they became very slippery. With over 100 people walking in single file on the narrow, winding path and just one lantern in the very front of the line, most of us could see nothing in the rain except for a few moving black shadows. By the time we arrived at the worksite, most of us had fallen three or four times. To pull bamboos out of the cold torrents of a mountain flood was extremely dangerous, as one could easily be washed away if not careful enough. One teammate was lost in the torrent, and everyone figured that he must have drowned. He was washed away for a distance of 4.5 miles to a place near Yellow Pond Town. Fortunately, he had been trained as a marine in the military and was able to save himself, returning to the Camp three days later.

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One time, we were in the river moving a big raft made up of 1,200 bamboos when a dead body with red underpants emerged from underneath the raft. It was already badly swollen and decayed, and a soft-shelled turtle weighing 40 pounds was gnawing on his flesh. Pan, who was formerly a primary school teacher, pulled the turtle out of the water and presented it to the cadres for a special treat. The dead body was obviously a victim of drowning. It had swollen so much that it was not easy for it to be squeezed into the coffin. Just when would the deceased’s relatives learn about their loss?

Save Me, Oh Lord!

In the early days of my stay in northern Fujian, my main job was the poling of small bamboo rafts. To pole a raft, one had to stand on the raft and row with a slender bamboo pole; and chances were one could easily fall into the water. As there were quite a number of big rocks above the water surface, especially around the bends, the small rafts often bumped into the rocks, and the person standing on the raft would then loose his balance and fall into the water. If one sat on the raft, the pants would most likely be ripped, as the raft was tied in the front but not in the rear. Of the four underpants that I had brought along, three had been ripped. Fortunately, here one could bare the upper body and the feet, as hardly anybody else was present besides the inmates in this remote, desolate semi-virgin forest.

One time, the small raft that I was poling was going very fast down a rapid stretch of water when I noticed a very thick bamboo with both ends resting on the two riverbanks just about a

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foot above the water surface. Yet it was then too late to do anything. The small raft was about to speed under the bamboo and my chest would definitely be heavily struck by the thick bamboo, leading to death. At this critical moment, I immediately leaned back and fell flat on the raft. Shouting “Lord,” I lifted my leg and gave a strong kick. To my surprise, I had kicked away bamboos weighing at least 130 pounds! It turned out to be merely a scare without real danger! Thank God for saving me in a life-threatening situation!

“You called in trouble, and I delivered you” (Ps. 81:7).

Heartbreaks &Tragedies

Some inmates’ families, learning that their loved ones were starving on the verge of death, tried their best to send them food. It was then the time of the so-called “Three-year Natural Calamities” when the families themselves were going through hard times. Moreover, the Shanghai postal service did not permit the mailing of food to the countryside where it originated. Even so, loving relatives tried every means to sell their belongings in exchange for food to be mailed to the Labor Camps. There were, for instance, lotion jars filled with lard; sausages inside candle wraps. However, parcels had to be checked by cadres when they reached the Labor Camp. If food was found, not only would they be confiscated but the person concerned would be denounced for cheating the government.

There was a father, already in his 60’s, who was a worker with good health. Worried that his only son in the Camp had to labor and starve, he tried hard to save up enough money to buy

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about 75 pounds of food and even made a long journey to personally deliver it. Things were very expensive at that time – a regular worker’s pay was only 50-60 yuan per month, and even an egg cost 0.5-0.8 yuan. Having saved up quite a sum of money for the food, he made the long, painstaking journey on rough, winding mountain paths (20 miles alone from the Camp to the nearest bus-stop). With as many as 20,000 inmates divided into many teams and stationed at several Sub-Camps far apart from each other, it took him quite a while to locate his son. By the time he arrived at his son’s Sub-Camp with the food, he was told by the cadre, “Your son is sick in the hospital.” It was another 13 miles of hilly paths from the Sub-Camp to the hospital. This elderly man then used all his strength to bring the heavy load to the hospital. On arrival, he was told by the doctor, “Your son died two days earlier.” Just imagine how this father responded to the news! He collapsed, totally broken down in despair.

Most inmates, except for those who were elderly or with exceptionally good spousal relationships and grown-up children, were already divorced. Not wanting their wives and children suffer for their sake, most men had acceded to divorce their spouses. Very few young or middle-aged couples still stayed married. One time, an inmate’s wife spent all she could afford to buy a big load of food in order to save her husband from starvation. It was just too hard for a city woman to make such a long and difficult journey with a heavy load through winding, rugged paths. She therefore paid a villager with money and food

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coupons14 to carry the load to the Labor Camp, herself following behind. Unfortunately, she had hired a wicked person who, seeing that she was exhausted from treading the mountain paths, quickened his steps and disappeared with the load. It was so hard for this woman to have brought the stuff with the hope to save her husband’s life, and her husband had hoped in vain for her to save him. How could she have imagined ending up empty-handed before her husband! How disappointing, disturbing and miserable it was for this couple!

Making the Horse Race Without Letting It Graze

Since many people had died of starvation, the chief cadre called on us to “demand food from the mountains.” In the mountains of northern Fujian, there was a tuber plant, called “stone pork-liver,” that grew on the part of the mountain hidden from sunshine. It had leaves shaped like fern and a root that was greenish, massive, bitter and shaped like several pork-livers stuck together. After it was washed and cooked, it was smashed with a wooden hammer and rinsed in water to wash away some of the bitterness. It was then mixed with a little flour and baked into “stone pork-liver cakes.” Not everyone could have a share of the “cakes” though, as they were only meant for those engaged in extra-hard labor. We later learned from some traditional Chinese doctors that this plant was actually not everyone’s food and could cause miscarriages in pregnant women. Another plant used as

14 Under the system of food rationing at the time, food could only be bought

with food coupons.

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food was the Chinese banana. Its roots were dug out and also made into cakes. Though not as bitter as the “stone pork-liver” cakes, they were as coarse as wheat bran or chaff. In addition to these, there were wild greens such as felon herbs, wild spinach and the like, which some of us were ordered to pick.

One time, as never before, the authorities allocated to our sub-team a fat piglet weighing about 85 pounds and instructed us to “wait till the Spring Festival to slaughter it, and treat yourself to a lavish meal.” When the Spring Festival did arrive six months later, the pig’s weight dropped to just 65 pounds. After it was slaughtered, we each received a slice of pork that was too tough to be chewed. Why did the fat piglet grow to be so skinny? That was because the pig-feeders had stealthily eaten the small portions of feed. In order to save the poor piglet from dying of starvation, they figured out an “advanced formula” by mixing cooked human waste with weeds as the pig’s feed.

Even in such stressful living conditions, labor was hard and strenuous. For a time, we had to go without breakfast every morning to a slope 2 miles off to carry back on the shoulders logs weighing no less than 65 pounds. There were many logs lying around in this mountain forest, probably left behind by natives who sawed and chopped down the trees. Yet, it was not easy to find logs weighing around 65 pounds each. That was because the young men, being stronger and able to walk faster, arrived there earlier, had chosen the logs and carried them away. As for the heavier logs, one could hardly lift it up to the shoulder for carrying. After bringing back the logs, all that we had for breakfast was just a bowl of porridge with 2.2 ounces of rice. Right after breakfast, we had to leave for work again. Moreover, on nights with full

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moon, we had to work extra hours, a practice known as “night battle with a hanging lantern.” On special days such as the National Day, we had to increase our production as a “tribute” to the nation. With such a beastly lifestyle of over-exertion and torturous labor, my body weight (for my height of 5 feet 10 inches) dropped to only 100 pounds.

Turning Nothing Into Something?

The cadres, of course, were aware of the starving situation. Perhaps out of kindness, someone suggested a ridiculous “rice production rate” contest. It was a contest in respect of the weight of cooked rice that one could make with a fixed weight of uncooked rice. It was based on the idea that the greater the amount of cooked rice, the more feeling of fullness the person eating it would have. This actually was a trick. Everyone knew the Chinese proverb that “even the cleverest housewife could not cook a meal without rice.” In science also there is the law of conservation of mass. Nevertheless, as the Chinese saying went, “When an attractive reward is offered, brave fellows are bound to come forward.” In an effort to win earlier release from the Labor Camp, everyone tried hard. Then an inmate working in the kitchen came up with an “advanced formula”: first, roast the rice until it turned yellowish brown, then pour the rationed quantity into each person’s bamboo tube and add water before steaming. When cooked, the outcome looked like rice. The sad thing was: as soon as it was stirred with a spoon, it immediately turned into gruel. Such silly contests lasted for a while before they were silently put to an end.

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“Black Flags”, “Black Entries”, Cancellation of “Welfare”

The life, labor and political study of inmates were all under mutual surveillance. Those who did well received a small red flag under their names on the blackboard. As for those who did not finish their assignments, or who grumbled or sneered, or made reactionary remarks, they were reported to the team leader. They were then given a black entry and a black flag under their names and were punished with “cancellation of welfare” the following day. Even though the so-called “welfare” meant just a bowl of gruel, the cancellation of such “welfare” was a very harsh punishment in those days of starvation. Besides, even one black flag and one black entry over a period of one month was regarded as reform failure, causing great mental stress. That was like the command Pharaoh gave to the taskmasters and officers: “You shall no longer give the people straw to make brick as before. Let them go and gather straw for themselves. And you shall lay on them the quota of bricks which they made before. You shall not reduce it” (Ex. 5:6-8).

Long Days in the Freezing Winter

As mentioned earlier, the main task of the Labor Camp in northern Fujian was to provide Shanghai with bamboos for scaffolds. Bamboos were plentiful in the forests. The big rafts made with bamboos were berthed by the river bends where the flow was slow. With risen water level on days of heavy rain, the big rafts were taken with the flow all the way to the railway station

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where they were then dissembled and loaded into the train for transmission to Shanghai. On other days when the water level was low, bamboos could not be transported this way as the waterway was too narrow and rocky, causing the person on the raft to fall off when the raft hit the rocks.

It was bitterly cold in the mountain regions of northern Fujian in the winter, because the duration of sunshine was very short, usually from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. The overnight frost on the bamboos was over an inch thick. There was a time when we had to stand bare-footed on the icy, frosted rafts with trousers rolled up to the knees, as none of us had any boots during our four years there. We all shivered in the cold with tears, runny noses, chattering teeth and numb hands and feet. All we had for breakfast was just a bowl of gruel, made of 2.2 ounces of rice, and half a slice of preserved bean curd. The suffering of hunger and cold was almost unbearable. Fortunately, these days did not last too long; otherwise, more inmates would have died, and died more quickly.

Later, with improved indigenous methods, in winter we were allowed to build the rafts on land instead. The workload, however, was increased and we had to “fight by torchlight” on days with bright moonlight. I remember that, one night, after a long day’s work, we were instructed to work an extra shift to carry the chopped bamboos from the mountain slopes to the riverbanks. We started at 7 p.m. but were still working by 12 midnight! Even though we were totally exhausted, we were not allowed to take a moment’s break; for there was an overseer keeping an account of the number of bamboos carried. We worked until 2 a.m. and were rewarded with only a ladle of gruel. Under such awfully torturous conditions, more and more inmates died. Their dead bodies were

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piled up inside a rundown morgue, as there were too many of them for quick disposal.

Was It Merely Cold & HungerThat He Suffered on Calvary?

The Lord Jesus said, “The disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above his Lord.” The Lord commanded His followers, “You shall drink My cup, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with.” I recalled that it was also in the winter when the Lord was nailed on the Cross. The night before His crucifixion, in the court of the high priest’s house, “a fire of coals” was made “for it was cold” (John 18:18), and Peter and the servants and guards of the high priest were standing and warming themselves. As He was “brought as a lamb to the slaughter” to the hill of Calvary, it was cold and windy, yet the four cruel executioners stripped off and divided His garments. Well, if each of them took one, the Lord would have been wearing at least four garments! Moreover, the executioners went on to take off His tunic so that He was stripped to the waist as He was nailed to the Cross, “wounded for our transgressions and bruised for our iniquities.” Nor had he eaten or drunk anything since eating the Passover the previous night up till His death, and in Gethsemane He had “sweat, as it were, great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” Right after that, He was brought to the high priest for questioning and humiliation. Early the next day, after a whole sleepless night of mistreatment, He was brought to the court of Pilate for further questioning and humiliation. He was later sent to

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Herod to be mocked and humiliated, and finally brought back to Pilate again. Oh, how the Lord of heaven and earth, the God of glory, was treated all for the sake of redeeming us! Those sinners, who deserved eternal death, beat Him, slapped Him, hit His head with a reed, ridiculed Him with a crown of thorns and a scarlet robe and made Him carry His own cross. On the cross, He was cold, starved, bruised and wounded, totally exhausted, forsaken and alone. His disciples had dispersed, except for John and several women who were distressed and perplexed. The entire principality of darkness expended all its power and rage to put Him to death. At this time, the holy and righteous God, in order to fulfill His eternal will and His plan of salvation, “caused the iniquity of us all to fall on Him” (Isa. 53:6). He cried out loud, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me!” No one could fully understand and comprehend the judgment of the righteous God as borne by the Lord for us sinners. Oh, dear pilgrims, as we recollect “Christ has suffered for us in the flesh,” shouldn’t we likewise “arm ourselves with the same mind” (I Pet. 4:1)? How could we then pity and think so much of ourselves, and even complain, at times of affliction?

The above analogy is fine and essential, but not enough; and we should not stop there. Unfortunately, many Christians failed because they stopped right there. Analogy is not lasting, because it is mainly in the mind and feelings - still in the external realm of the soul rather than the inner spirit. For it to last, we need to be incessantly connected with God who is the “fountain of living waters” (Jer. 2:13), “for in Him dwells all the fullness of the godhead bodily” (Col. 2:9). In other words, Jesus is the fountain for all men. Those of us who truly learn to follow the Lamb must

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abide in Him, constantly coming to Him for grace and for the strength and light required for self-denial. We need to see, beyond afflictions, the hand of God that rules over all. Such is what the decades of fiery trials has led me to realize as the most evident, the most fundamental and yet the most lacking essence among Christians. (Please read with reverence: Luke 10:42; I John 2:28; Jer. 17:7-8) I have watched with my own eyes and heard with my own ears the falling of numerous famous preachers and theologians amid fiery trials, as a tall tree withering and toppling “in the year of draught” – all for lacking this “only one good part” (Luke 10:42). Thank God for safeguarding the few who shone and were like trees planted by the waters with roots spread out by the river, and who therefore “will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit.”

A Christian must abide in the Lord in order to be able to obey His Word, thereby building his house on the rock (Matt.7:24). One who does not build his house on the rock cannot have the kind of intimate fellowship that results from abiding in the Lord. Praying ceaselessly and abiding in the Lord; taking up the cross and abiding in the Word – like the two wings of a bird, they must go together.

To abide in the Lord is to abide in the “Word” (John 8:31), because the “Word is God” (John 1:1). To abide in the Lord is to abide in His love (John 15:9). Therefore, that kind of “abiding in the Lord” without the abiding in His Word or manifestation of the love of Christ is merely a form of doctrine, a form of idealism and/or a form of knowledge – not life. Oh Lord, how we need Your grace and mercy! More and more, I have come to realize that

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the bottom line is: all must depend on the grace and mercy of the Lord (Rom. 9:11-18; Eph. 2:8).

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CHAPTER 3

The Lord Was DeterminedTo Preserve My Life

Soon after my arrival in the Labor Camp, I was assigned to the transportation team of the Ditch Pond Sub-Camp. My main job was to pole small rafts down the stream, to fasten big rafts, to carry bamboos on the shoulders from the mountain slopes, to make holes on bamboo poles and to chop “green wood” used for making big rafts. The work was physically exhausting and extremely strenuous.

Two years into the reform, the leader one day announced that three members of the transportation team, namely Lou Zhou, Xing Yang and I, were to be transferred to the subsidiary team, the main task of which was to grow and provide vegetables for all teams of the Sub-Camp. Its members consisted mostly of the physically weak, including patients who had just been discharged from the hospital after surgery. At that time, I had not yet learned, through personal experience, that the Heavenly Father “ruled over all“ and caused “all things to work together for good to those who love God”; nor did I “thank God in everything” (Ps. 103:19; Rom. 8:28; I Thes. 5:18). Therefore, I was very upset when I learned about the transfer and did not sleep well for a few days. I kept wondering if my transfer was due to poor attitude on my part during the reform. Later I dismissed the idea since my performance was rated as fair and above average and I was not

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ranked with “counter-reform elements.” Yet, neither did the transfer seem like a special consideration for my health, for my duodenal ulcer had already been healed by the Lord and I was only occasionally bothered by irregular heart-beats. Besides, there were many others weaker and older than me. Failing to see the reason, I became disgruntled. I did not understand until later that it was due to the wonderful hand of the Heavenly Father preserving my life. Not only was my new task lighter and less physically demanding (as it was designed for the weak), but the clinic was also close by and convenient for medical treatment. That was why the number of deaths resulting from over-exertion in our team was much lower than all others.

Like a Straw, an Inmate’s Life WasWorth Less Than Those of Dogs and Pigs

There was an inmate named Jintang Zhang whose performance during the reform was rated good and was nominated as a group-leader (10 people in one group). As I was labeled a “counter-revolutionary” not deserving trust, I had never been nominated as a group-leader. Instead, I was led and supervised by group-leaders who were gangsters15. One day I happened to be standing near Zhang, who was critically ill, and heard him ask the cadre, “Team-leader Guo, I’m dying; may I be excused from work today?” The cadre sneered, “What! Dying? Just go ahead and die! What if you die? Who’s going to feel sorry for you? We’ll care if

15 Gangsters and hooligans were labeled as “contradictory among the people”

whereas “counter-revolutionary elements” were regarded as “self-contradictory”.

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a dog dies; but who cares if you do.” Zhang died in less than a month. Later, during the Cultural Revolution, inmates with “counter-revolutionary hats”16 who died were not provided with coffins.

At the time of the Cultural Revolution, our Camp had already moved to Anhui Province. One time, I came down with a high fever that lasted for several days. The clinical physician, Dr. Cheng, was out and only one nurse was on duty. Afraid that I was dying, she sent me to the hospital. The patient right next to my sickbed, Jeff Chen, was sent to the Labor Camp for having worked, in his youth, as a translator for the Japanese during the Sino-Japanese War. He and his wife had been divorced for some time; even so, he wrote to request her, based on previous years of spousal relationship, to be by his side before he died. This kind-hearted woman then came to the Labor Camp hospital to care for him until his death a short while later. A cadre named Jon Du, who was the chief steward of my team, dashed in and, with a stern face, told the woman, “Jeff Chen is a counter-revolutionary member and is not provided with a coffin after death.” The woman wept. For us Christians, it does not matter whether or not coffins were provided, but this woman felt differently and cried bitterly. She requested permission to use her own money to buy a coffin. The cadre turned down her request saying that coffins could not be sold to counter-revolutionary elements, as it was then the time of Cultural Revolution. Then a few people came to wrap

16 “counter-revolutionary hat”: the word “hat” means a breach of law –

completion of labor reform does not necessarily mean the taking off of “counter-

revolutionary hat.”

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up the corpse with an old bed-sheet and took it to the burial site on the slope behind the hospital. Though given permission to attend the burial, the woman did not do so as she could not bear the sight of such a burial.

An inmate in Team 7 of our Camp, surnamed Song, had suffered numerous denunciations and continuous self-criticisms for having criticized Jiang-Ching (wife of Chairman Mao Tse-tung). One day he committed suicide. Even then, the hatred of the authorities did not subside, and they called a meeting to denounce him, saying that he “deserved to die a thousand times.” They dressed a scarecrow in Song’s clothes and called a meeting with over 1,000 attendees. After the chairman of the meeting ordered that “Song” be brought in, three men seized the scarecrow by the collar and brought it up the stage. The denunciation then started. Some people took turns accusing how wicked “he” was. Who was to know that, shortly after this incident, Jiang-Ching and her political gang (known as The Gang of Four) fell from power, and Song had already been robbed of his life.

An inmate’s life was mentally stressful and worth less than those of dogs, pigs and cattle. On hot and sunny summer days during the farming season, we had to be engaged in the “three rushes,” which meant rushed reaping of the “early rice,” rushed planting of the “late rice” and rushed field care for the “mid-season rice.” Cows were allowed to rest and graze between 12 noon to 3 p.m.; yet we had to toil non-stop everyday until it grew all dark and mosquitoes filled the air.

Faking Mental Sickness -Hoping to be Allowed to Return Home

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To the inmates, days passed like years. Everyone tried all he could to gain release to return home. One day a lunatic, surnamed Chen, shouted all day long, “Bring me some fried eggs stealthily!” He must have liked fried eggs, though eggs were out of sight and out of talk during these years of reform. For acting wildly, he was locked up in a small hut, which made his condition even worse. He smeared feces on his face and on doorposts, messing things up. Concluding that the Camp would be better off without him, the cadres released him and sent him home.

This provided incentive for some inmates who started to pretend to be mentally ill also. Yet, acts of pretense were not easy for a normal person. An inmate, named Russ Sun, pretending to be mentally ill, jumped into a frozen pond one winter mid-night. The night guard, hearing a loud, strange sound, searched around with his flashlight. Finding Sun in the pond, he dragged him out, cold and dirty. If he had been found feigning madness and acting like an idiot, he would have been labeled a “counter-reform element” and would have suffered miserably for it. Fortunately, the Camp doctor was not well trained enough to detect his true mental state. For quite some time, he was allowed to cease laboring even though he was not allowed to return home.

A teammate, named Dylan Zhou, was quiet by nature and hated the daily 2-hour duration of extremely boring and senseless “political study.” He found the flattering talks in discussion meetings most disgusting, and yet he was afraid that he would be denounced for “grumbling and sneering, and speaking in opposition.” For some time, therefore, he had wanted to simply stay silent. However, silence could also be interpreted as

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“opposition in silence.” One time he heard that a man could lose his ability to speak after bumping his head in a certain direction. One day, gathering all his courage, he made a report to the team leader by handing him a piece of paper on which he wrote that he had lost his ability to speak after falling off a cow while pasturing it. There was no ear-nose-throat specialist in the Camp and the truth was not disclosed. For two years he had remained silent but the truth was finally known. Then he was made to appear in the public to conduct his own self-examination and self-criticism, enduring a great deal of extra suffering.

In addition, my roommate Sean Chen had severe myopia. He learned that severe myopia could cause blindness under certain conditions. One day, pretending to be blind, he refused to work and asked others to bring him his meal. Unfortunately, the eye doctor found out that he was feigning blindness.17 He became so frightened that he committed suicide by poisoning himself. He was rushed to the hospital in a cart and saved from the brink of death.

Thank God that we who trust God are not like that! I was reminded of David when he fled to Achish, king of Gath, in the land of the Philistines. He was greatly afraid that he would be recognized as the killer of the Philistines’ hero, Goliath. At the critical moment, “he changed his behavior before them, pretended madness in their hands, scratched on the doors of the gate, and let his saliva fall down on his beard (I Sam. 21:13).” The ruling hand

17 This female doctor was actually a famous eye doctor in Haerbin. She had

volunteered to work in the Labor Camp hospital in order to be around her beloved

husband who was there on Labor Reform.

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of God had let David gone through the depth of storms and waves, and David was able to write the beautiful Psalm 34, testifying through his personal experience that “blessed is the man who trusts in Him.” Right after he was anointed and had killed Goliath, David, a man after God’s heart, was faced with distress and forced to flee for refuge and to hide himself from Saul who wanted to kill him. Before David was crowned king, the ruling hand of God had used various forms of cross and suffering to break him, purify him, and edify him. This way, God taught David to be humble and submissive, to trust Him, look up to Him, love Him and fear Him so that he could become a king after His own heart. Regrettably, we often do not learn our lessons seriously, just as the spoiled vessel of clay in the hand of the potter that had to be remade into another vessel (Isa. 64:8; Jer. 18:4).

“Living in the World With No Hope, No God”(Ephesians 2:12)

In the midst of such dark torture, two of my teammates poisoned themselves and died consecutively. Yet another one hanged himself to death. They had all died and “freed” themselves from despair and sorrow. Yet since they had no God, they were without hope – how sad! (See Eph. 2:12).

One time, after our Camp had moved to Anhui Province, every team began preparing for the National Day celebration almost a month ahead of the date (October 1st). Teammate Kehong Guo was assigned to sing a song of praise, the first verse of which was:

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The sun is bright, the sun is red,The sun is Mao Tse-tung;Great thoughts are bright,The earth and the sky are red in the light. (2 x)

Surprisingly, just a few days before the celebration, Guo committed suicide by hanging himself in the duck shed. A graduate of the Beijing People’s University, he was intelligent, capable and fluent in English. He had worked in a prominent position in the Committee of Political and Legislative Affairs in Beijing. Because of political reasons18, he ended up in a Labor Camp like the others did. His wife, labeled as a “Rightist,” was often abused and received a living allowance of only 18 yuan a month. This couple had a very good relationship. Feeling despised, pressured and devastated, they had earlier contemplated ending their lives at the same time in different locations. At the time Guo left for the Labor Camp, they promised to correspond with each other weekly. One day in Shanghai Guo’s wife committed suicide with coal gas. The telegram her brother sent to Guo was detained by the team-leader and did not reach him. Not having heard from his wife for weeks, Guo suspected something wrong. He, too, decided to commit suicide. The team leader, fearing another loss of life, assigned someone to keep a close watch on Guo. One drizzling morning, Guo’s group was assigned to work in the fields. Having watched him over a long period of time, the guard and others around him were somehow off their guard. The group leader, too, indiscreetly allowed Guo to be

18 He was charged with being a “historical revolutionary” or as a “Rightist” –

I do not remember clearly.

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excused for not feeling well. At lunch-time, Guo was nowhere to be found, though he had made his bed and had placed on it two packets of cigarettes and a small knife. A thorough search in the tea grove, ordered by the group leader, was in vain. That evening, Cheng, the duck caretaker, led over 200 ducks back to the duck-shed. As he entered, he looked up to find a man hanging on the ceiling beam. He immediately ran to inform the leader. Trembling and too shocked for words, he signaled with his hands. The cadre leader followed him and found Guo hanging on the beam, dressed in clean, transparent plastic raincoat and long rain-boots. Guo was already dead with his tongue sticking out very long. It then dawned on us that the two packets of cigarettes were Guo’s token of thanks for his buriers and that the knife was meant for cutting the hanging rope.

Guo’s body was finally carried out and buried in a slope about 0.3 mile away, his name written with a writing brush on a wooden board. If sharp-sensing hounds should pass by, the corpse would be gone. After a few months of rain and sunshine, the wood board would rot, and memories of him would soon be wiped out also. For everyone around, such scenario inevitably provoked chilling and miserable thoughts and feelings.

Alas, every human life has an end! “Lazarus died” and “the rich man died” (Luke 16:22). For every human life, the degrees of fame or shame and poverty or wealth vary. How and when each man ends his life also varies. Death, however, fairly befalls every descendant of Adam. This is because “all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23). How sad it is that those who do not believe in Jesus will not only die

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physically but will also experience the second death - the eternal death of the spirit! This is the absolute truth.

Xiang Wang had lung disease and was a long-term user of the specialty drug Rimifon. He was assigned to lighter chores in the Camp and was responsible for mimeographing during the time of the Cultural Revolution. One time when he tested the printing ink, the newspaper he used happened to bear the photograph of Mao Tse-tung. In those days, photographs of Mao Tse-tung always appeared on the front pages of newspapers and were considered as sacred. Unfortunately, someone made a report to the cadres, following which Wang was denounced numerous times, forced to self-criticize and to disclose his hidden motives. Unable to withstand such terrible mental stress, anxiety and fear over a long period, he finally killed himself by taking an overdose of his lung medication. It was a terrible death. Nevertheless, his suicide was described as “suicide for fear of criminal charges”. If there were no hope of eternal life, how does a man’s death differ from that of a dog?

As recipients of the Lord’s grace, we are different. We have the Holy Spirit within us. Therefore, though we are “hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed – always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body” (II Cor. 4:8-10). Paul was “burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life. Yes, we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead” (II Cor. 1:8-9). We thank the Lord that even when we are “against hope” we “believe in hope”.

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We need not despair because the one we believe in “gives life to the dead and calls those things which do not exist as though they did” (Rom. 4:17,18). Dear brothers and sisters, for those of us who constantly receive grace at the throne of mercy, times of affliction are actually opportunities for us to practice faith and trust in God as well as self-denial.

John Bunyan, author of The Pilgrim’s Progress, said it well. The fact that the Lord does not save us from trials does not mean that He is powerless or does not love us. Rather, he wants to test our faith and our love for Him to see if we will follow Him faithfully to the end, so that He may reward us accordingly. Things of this world, even life or death, are all temporary. We are not too mindful whether or not we are spared trials, because we look forward to the day when Jesus will come in all His glory.

Oh, may the Lord expand our territory, that our faith will be deeply rooted in the Lord Himself and in His Word; so that the peace and calmness within us will not be turned into anxiety and distress by the tempest surrounding us (see Matt. 8:25).

On the Verge of Death

By this time, more and more inmates had died. I remember what a fellow inmate, Yong-tao Feng, once said to me, “Yu, your days are numbered! I figure you’ve about half a year left.” In those days, one could more or less predict the approach of his death. As a result of prolonged starvation and subsequent malnutrition, the body began to swell from the feet up; when the swelling rose up to the level of the navel, that was about it.

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At that time, the thoughts of us “intellectual elements” (university graduates, etc.) were regarded as filth, and we were therefore frequently assigned filthy jobs meant to speed up our reform. There was a period when I was ordered to bury the deceased. Parcels of their belongings were stacked up in the storage for periodic shipment to Shanghai for onward transmission to their families. The parcels were small, containing hardly any wearable clothes. One time my group was ordered to carry the parcels from the storage to a small wooden boat. I thought to myself: it would perhaps be better for the families not to receive them; for how shocking it would be for them to see just a few clothes remaining of their loved ones who were alive and well when they left for reform just a short while ago! Watching the parcels being shipped out, I could not help wondering how my aged mother, as well as my wife and daughters, would react if they were to receive a parcel of my belongings! I was overwhelmed with sadness.

There were numerous examples of how we had passed our fate on to our younger generation. Chico Li’s daughter was clever and pretty, a few years older than my elder daughter. She did well in school and was a “three-good19 student.” However, since Li had been exiled on Labor Reform, this poor girl was immediately ill-treated and bullied by her teacher and schoolmates. Very soon, she suffered from depression and mental disorder with abnormal and dangerous behavior such as cutting holes in her clothes with scissors. Consequently, she had to quit school. Yet, with passing

19 “three-good”: all-round development of morality, intelligence and

physique.

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years, her condition did not improve. What then could be done for her? After careful consideration, it was decided that the only thing left to be done was to arrange for her to be married to a Labor Camp inmate, a Fujian native also surnamed Li, and the Labor Camp leader provided them with a very small hut. One could imagine the tragedy that followed.

Thus, I prayed before the Lord, “Lord, if I had no family, no wife and no daughter, it’d be justifiable for me to die here alone because, after all, I was sent to this Labor Camp for Your name’s sake. But it’ll be too pitiful for my two daughters if I died. At the time I left for reform, one was barely two and the other was only five months old. They’d be labeled as “daughters of counter-revolutionary element” for the rest of their lives. Also, my wife, a very kind-hearted woman who’s been working hard in the hospital for many years would, because of me, also suffer for life as a “family member of counter-revolutionary element,” despised and deprived of a decent living.” I then pleaded to the Lord, “Lord, please remember me and don’t let me die here!”

Here, the burial of the deceased was carried out casually. As everyone who buried the dead was hungry and not strong enough to dig a pit deep enough (government standard was 2 meters deep), a coffin was carelessly lowered into the pit and covered with just a thin layer of soil, and its top would be exposed once the rain came down. When coffins were not well nailed, people would come at night to strip off the deceased’s clothes and put them on themselves.

The Snare Was Broken and the Bird Escaped

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(Psalm 124:7)

Something amazing happened soon after I prayed. God really listens to prayers, especially those of us who are suffering for His name. Less than two weeks later, I suddenly received a very large parcel by mail. It had been opened, apparently inspected. To my surprise, it contained nutritious food items such as milk-powder and cod-liver oil. Actually, the mailing of food or health supplements to Labor Camps was prohibited; and if found, the parcel would be confiscated. Surprisingly, at the time my parcel arrived, the authorities changed their policy in view of the high mortality in the Camp. They felt it was not good for so many inmates to die during the reform, since the purpose of the reform was to alter their thinking rather than to take their lives. They thought that since the food parcels had already arrived, they might as well let the addressees have them rather than let them starve to death. It was right at this time that my parcel came.

Actually, the Bible tells us, “Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots? Then may you also do good who are accustomed to do evils” (Jer. 13:23). Men cannot be changed by labor reform; God alone can save and deliver a sinner and change him.

I inspected the handwriting on the parcel wrap but had no clue of the sender. It was not until much later that I found out who the sender was. It was a saint I had never met before, namely sister Pearl Dong whom I later called Aunt Dong. It was very risky for her to send me food, as she could be punished by the government for showing sympathy towards a counter-revolutionary. Yet, by

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following the guidance of the Holy Spirit and in obedience to the Lord’s command of “love your brother,” she had sacrificed herself with determination to reach out to save a dying brother. In fact, I was not the only one she had sent food to; for I once found another brother’s name on the back of the parcel wrap. I have no idea how many people she sent food to as she never made mention of it. She was a vessel of God’s love!

Naturally, I was overjoyed to receive the parcel. Yet, right away, I had a problem. For if I shared food with those around me, I could be charged with “bribing others with the intent to form a small counter-revolutionary clique.” Also, if I could not finish the food all at once, I had no safe and secure way to store it. If not well stored, it would all be stolen right away. I remember that, during the first four years when we were each provided with 13.2 ounces of sweet potatoes at night as a substitute for 2.2 ounces of grain, right after getting one’s share, one only had to turn his head and be distracted for a second, and his food would be stolen. There was also the case of a teammate whose poor family had done all they could to send him some toasted bread and biscuits from Shanghai. Owing to the high humidity in northern Fujian, the food had molded; so he spread it out to dry in the sun. Returning after work, he found it was gone. Those sick inmates who did not leave for work had eaten it. The cadres then called a denunciation meeting, forcing Zhi-cheng Li, the lead stealer, to confess. They hung a urinal pail filled with stones around his neck. Since, before the Cultural Revolution cadres were not allowed to hit Labor Camp inmates, they suggested the inmates hit him, and then left the scene. The receipt of a parcel could, therefore, be a problem.

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Surprisingly, something incredible again happened to me. Our wonderful and awesome God had caused a cadre, named Rueben Zhou, to say to me, “Yu, put your parcel in my office and come for it once a week.” Do you see his point? He had already given the matter careful consideration. The parcel would be stolen if left unattended; the food, which could not be consumed at once, would last longer and be of greater health benefit if I came for it once a week; also, the food would be safe from theft in his office as entering a cadre’s office without permission was a breach of discipline subject to punishment. Chairman Mao Tse-tung had said, “Compassion for the enemies (such as counter-revolutionaries) equals to cruelty towards our own people.” That was why cadres dared not sympathize with or help us. Yet, thank God, as “the king’s heart in the hand of the Lord” (Prov. 21:1), leader Zhou secretly helped me.

Since then, I received at least one parcel every month from Aunt Dong. It was due to the love and sacrifice of such a member in Christ (Ref. Judges 5:9) that I survived those years of starvation in northern Fujian when more than half the inmates had died. How I thank and praise the Lord!

“Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones” (Matt. 18:10). Sister Dong, the parcel sender, was the one I had mentioned earlier20 whom two of the four church elders rejected for joining the Communion. Through this incident, the Lord had opened my eyes and let me see that, being all receivers of mercy and grace at the same throne of mercy, none of us has the right to

20 See Part I – The Lord’s Follower Must Truly Deny Himself (last

paragraph).

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reject another. The Lord also gave me a glimpse into the true meaning of oneness in Christ (see John 17:20-23) – no one should despise another member of the Body, wherever he/she may be.

“It is Good for Me that I Have Been Afflicted”(Psalm 119:71)

Before harvesting sweet potatoes in the autumn, we cooked their leaves and ate them as vegetable. In those days of starvation, the tender leaves tasted unusually delicious and we all wanted more of them. But as the people assigned to collect them were weak from starvation, they were unable to bring in more. When the sweet potatoes were being pulled out during harvest, pupae could be found right beneath the tubers. It suddenly struck me that during my childhood my young neighbors used to eat deep-fried silkworm pupae. In my hometown, New Prosperity (Zejiang Province), many people, including my uncle and grandmother, reared silkworms, though I had never tasted the pupae because they looked so repulsive. In the circumstances though, I was no longer mindful. I thought that just as silkworm pupae were edible, so must be these pupae which fed on edible sweet potato leaves. I then quietly picked them up, put them into my pockets and brought them back to my quarters. I dared not eat uncooked pupae that would wiggle in my mouth and cause itching and vomiting. I happened to have a small piece of salted fish in the parcel sent by Aunt Dong, so I placed it on top of the pupae in a bamboo tube. The kitchen worker agreed to steam the tube for me when he steamed the rice. I hesitated before eating the cooked pupae.

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Then, with eyes closed, I took a bite. To my surprise, the pupae tasted extremely delicious, like droplets of cream. Thank God that for quite some time afterwards, I ate plenty of them.

I recall what brother T.E. Li told me after his release from the Labor Camp. Though he was not in my Camp, he, too, had experienced starvation. One day, assigned to pull large rocks with a cart, he became so hungry and exhausted after 10 a.m. that he felt he could not endure any longer. He pleaded for the Lord to either receive his spirit or to give him something to eat. Right at that moment, a swarm of locusts fell around him. Instantly, he remembered that John the Baptist fed on locusts and wild honey, so he quickly picked up the locusts and filled his pockets with them. After pulling out their legs, wings and heads, he feasted on them. I asked him how they tasted and was told that they tasted just like peanuts.

I remember that when the Lord’s disciples were hungry, they also plucked and ate heads of grain; also, during the days of famine in Elisha’s time, people ate wild herbs, wild melons, donkey heads and dove droppings (II Kings 6:25 – according to some scholars, dove droppings were tiny beans used as coarse grain at the time).

According to the ancient Chinese sages, such trials and sufferings are Mother Nature’s way of cultivating and training a great man – through the strengthening of willpower and the drilling of the body for the endurance of hardship. Our Heavenly Father, however, had allowed such trials and sufferings to befall us with the purpose of cultivating in us the spirit of Jesus Christ the Lamb – a “meek and lowly” spirit that is persistent and undaunted, firm

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and unyielding, yet totally submissive, focused entirely on the will of God.

The Spirit of Jesus Christ the Lamb

The Apostle John recorded the beautiful witness of John the Baptist for the Lord - “Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!” and “Behold, the Lamb of God!” The Old Testament uses the lamb to symbolize Jesus Christ (Ex. 12, for instance). Regarding the Lord’s work of salvation on the Cross, the great prophet Isaiah described in Chapter 53, “He was led as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so He opened not His mouth” (Isa. 53:7). The Lord’s prophets were also “like a docile lamb brought to the slaughter” (Jer. 11:19). The Lord’s faithful servants are the triumphant ones “who followed the Lamb wherever He goes” (Rev. 14:4).

While on earth, Christ manifested and lived out the spirit of the Lamb. As for us, we look to the working of God’s grace to gradually cultivate the spirit of the Lamb in us – or, as described by ancient saints, “to help us exercise the spirit of the Lamb in all we do.” This is a valuable life-long lesson of learning, by God’s grace, to be humble, meek, patient, forgiving, harmless, loving and gracious. The Lord manifested the spirit of the Lamb not only in Gethsemane and in Calvary but also throughout His short life on earth. It was only towards Satan and the principality of darkness that He was like the Lion of Judah, conquering again and again (Rev. 5:5).

The Apostle John also wrote about the glory that follows the slaughter, resurrection and ascension of the Lamb – the Lamb

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was worshipped by all the creatures until He reached the New Jerusalem of eternity (Rev. 5:1-4; 7,8). The Bible says, “The Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are its temple … the throne of God and the Lamb shall be in it” (Rev. 21:22; 22:3). This throne lasts forever – how amazing! The God on the throne is dignified, awesome, mighty, powerful, holy, righteous and glorious. In addition, on the throne of the New Jerusalem, there is a docile and humble Lamb! How glorious! The spirit of the Lamb is eternal. The spirit of the Lamb is also the symbol of a victor.

Our Heavenly Father Is the Potter,We Are the Clay (Isaiah 64:8)

Regrettably, many brothers and sisters fail to see that “we are the clay and You are the potter and we are the works of Your hands” (Jer. 18:1-10; also ref. Eph. 2:10). Many do not understand “it is good that I have been afflicted that I may learn Your statutes” (Ps. 119:71). In our walk of life, the Heavenly Father allows us to face all kinds of difficulties such as trials, sickness, as well as financial, family and career problems. Behind all these are His hands that mould and place us on the “spinning wheel” and into the kiln. He causes all things to work together for our benefit. He turns us into vessels with the character of His Son the Lamb, transforming us into His image (Rom. 8:29).

Regrettably, we often use every means we can to free ourselves from the working hands of the potter. As a result, we are still babies in Christ even years after accepting Him. Madame Guyon, the ancient saint, said that, while many Christians tried to

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break the “teaching rod” of the Heavenly Father, she accepted it with thankfulness and kisses.

Just one year into his imprisonment, an elderly brother gave up his originally held principle that Christ was Head of the Church. In order to gain release from prison, he compromised and indicated his willingness to join the Three Self Church. Another brother used his own means to gain release after a few years of Labor Reform. Yet another gave up his faith after five years of Labor Reform. Regrettably, their spiritual losses were perhaps too great to be made up for. It is our nature to avoid the cross and afflictions. When the intensity and duration of hardship increase, it is only by the Lord’s grace that we do not forget this: in our earthly days, the cross makes us more like Him; in our eternal life, the cross will be our crown!

Thank God, though, that there were saints who were willing to be jailed for life for His sake! One such sister, Grace Zheng, said it well, “Ever since my imprisonment, I’ve never expected to be released.” She had left excellent testimonies in both the prison and Labor Camps. She had demonstrated her fearlessness of suffering and of death, leaving no ground for Satan. Another sister, Sonny Wang, who remained celibate for the Lord (I Cor. 7:8), refused to join the Three-Self Church when she was in her 20’s and was consequently sent to the extremely torturous Labor Camp in the Qinhai highlands. After 20 years of Labor Reform, as a result of certain policy changes, she was allowed to go to England to be with her old father. Yet she did not accept the offer, saying, “Brook Cherith has not dried up” yet (Ref. I Kings 17:3-6). To her, the Lord’s time had not yet come because she had not fulfilled her gospel responsibility! She stayed in the Labor

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Camp for another 10 years. How touching this spirit of the Lamb is! And how splendid! Thoughts of such saints often make me feel ashamed of my own inadequacy and falling behind.

Allow me to say this with a humble and reverent heart: it is regrettable that, in this so-called Free World, quite a number of brothers and sisters used their own (even wicked) ways to divorce spouses they were not happy with or to solve problems relating to life, church and career without submitting to the hands of the “Potter.” As a consequence, they spoiled the vessel of the Potter and suffered great hindrances in their spiritual growth.

Dear brothers and sisters, do you know the magnitude of such spiritual loss? I am afraid that those brothers and sisters have seriously rejected “the best” that God has lovingly designed for them. Though they may still be zealous Christians or even well-known preachers, they may have lost one thing – that is God’s best, as originally planned and willed by Him. This is like “the vessel that He made with clay”… “marred in the hand of the potter; so He made it again into another vessel” (Jer. 18:4).

In situations arranged by God, we need to depend on His grace as we learn to be submissive, patient, humble, meek and “silent”, pleading the Lord to create and cultivate the spirit of the Lamb within us. Let us not complain or wait passively for a resolution, or even rebel or escape. Brothers and sisters, I say these words as mutual encouragement, for I do not feel worthy to deliver such words of high attainment.

On the first day Paul accepted Christ, the resurrected Lord spoke to him through Ananias, “I will show him how many things he must suffer for My name’s sake” (Acts 9:16). This is an experience every follower of the Lamb must go through (Acts

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14:22). When Paul was advanced in age, he told Timothy, “all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution” (II Tim. 3:12). We need not create our own cross. The path of the cross is a path we must take, and take all the way to the end. However, let us not forget the advice of St. Augustine: to attain sanctification, there are three requirements – first, be humble; second, be humble; third, be humble; for God gives grace to the humble. Let us remember that it is on God’s grace that all is based, for it is “by the grace of God I am what I am” (I Cor. 15:10).

The Example of My Late Father

At the peak of the “Elimination of Counter-Revolutionary Movement”, my late father, Chen-hua Yu, died a martyr21 by the grace of the Lord on April 13th, 1956. Many brothers and sisters in Shanghai at the time who witnessed the political situation can still recall the unprecedented brutality of the trials and the countless number of Christians and co-workers who fell and came short of the glory of God (among them were those who compromised, those who betrayed the Lord and others, those who were despondent, those who abandoned their faith, and those who committed suicide).

My father was an experienced and distinguished ophthalmologist who led a blameless and godly life. The people’s government had wanted and expected to persuade him to be the

21 For details, please read The Path of Life (Drawing Near to God), published

by the Chinese Christian Testimony Ministry.

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Christian representative at the Chinese People’s Political Consultative Conference or in the people’s congress. Despite all kinds of threat, inducement and torture, he did not give in but maintained that Jesus Christ was the Head of the Church. He neither betrayed his co-workers nor acted against his own conscience. Without going into the details of his testimony, let me share some encouraging words he wrote on July 2nd, 1938 in the preface of The Sweet Smelling Myrrh (his Chinese translation of the autobiography of Madam Guyon):

“To be a truly God-loving person, to fully do God’s will, to sacrifice all, and to desire an absolutely selfless life, one must focus wholeheartedly on the Cross. God has also shown me that the Cross is the only way that pleases Him. Therefore, I always adore that life – the life through the Cross.”“It is impossible for one to love God without loving the Cross.”Besides the Bible, the books that benefited my father the

most throughout his life were those written by Madame Guyon, Brother Lawrence and Archbishop Fenelon - which he translated into Chinese. He earnestly and diligently practiced abiding in Christ and accepted the mortification of the Cross. The Lord Himself became the source of strength for his life and service. Thus, he emerged from the path of knowledge and gifts to pursue the narrow path of life. I myself have gained enormous help from the books translated by him, such as Sweet Smelling Myrrh and The Practice of the Presence of God - though I know very well that, as far as life practice is concerned, I am still quite infantile.

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While studying in the Nanjing Central University, I became acquainted with Dr. Ding, an elder of the Nanjing Christian Assembly. His splendid living testimony commanded my great respect. After the political upheaval (Liberation) in China, we dispersed in different directions and had lost contact with each other. Thank God that we reconnected 40 years later. In my first letter to him, I asked, “How did you make it through the decades of hardship?” With praises for the Lord, he replied that, reading the book Abide in Christ by Andrew Murray soon after he was saved, he earnestly practiced what he read and then gradually learned to depend constantly on the Lord for His grace. Safeguarded by the Lord, he went through “the great and terrible wilderness (Deut.1:19; 8:15).”

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CHAPTER 4

Labor Camp In Anhui Province (1962-1979)

It was bitterly cold in early 1961. In order to reduce mortality resulting from starvation22, the kitchen workers were ordered by the team leaders to cook and deliver a large pail of gruel to our quarters at 12 midnight and to give each of us a ladle for warmth. One night when the porridge arrived, the man sleeping next to me did not take his portion. He was found dead the following day. Someone else then came to fill his space; he, too, died shortly after. In just a few months, 3 men by my side had died. I was very frail myself - a man in his 30’s, 5 feet 10 inches tall weighing only about 100 pounds, who had to walk with a cane.

The Service of Sisters Amid Persecution and Hardship

A sister in the Lord I called Aunt Susan, a villager of Zhejiang, once worked as a house-maid for my relative in Shanghai. She was simple, kind, tender, courageous and physically strong. She belonged to the social class of “poor peasants” which the Communist Party regarded as the most

22 Deaths in Labor Camps had to be reported to the high authorities. The

influence of such deaths was bad on the Camp, and much worse on the families,

relatives and the whole society.

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reliable people’s group. Thank God that in the summer when hardly anyone in the society would be willing to visit Labor Camp inmates, Aunt Susan offered to bring me the food that my family had saved up and collected for saving my life amid wide-spread starvation. Carrying the load of food, she traveled great distances of winding, difficult paths in high mountains to the remote and dangerous forest to visit me.

Her visit helped me realize the precious role of sisters in the Body of Christ – the serving of the saints. There were many such examples in the Bible. For instance, in the Old Testament it was a widow who received Elijah; a Shunammite woman who received Elisha; sisters who provided for Jesus and his disciples (Luke 8:1-3), Martha and Mary who received and served the Lord; and sisters were also the ones who “lodged strangers, washed the saints’ feet and relieved the afflicted” (I Tim. 5:10).

There was a Lord’s servant in the Labor Camp whose family members had left him and was in a very awkward situation. A young sister, who claimed to be his daughter (in Christ), ventured to visit him in the Camp and brought him some daily necessities. This touching story was often retold later.

Sisters like Aunt Dong, the parcel sender, and Doctor Qiu, Brother Chen’s Labor Camp visitor, deserved our special love and respect. Of course, brothers, too, have the responsibility and blessed gift to host and serve others (Titus 1:8; Heb.13:1). However, especially at times of persecution and trials, sisters are more blessed in this respect, perhaps because their actions draw less attention and are not as closely watched. Also, the percentage of women imprisoned or sent to Labor Camps is comparatively

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much lower. It is, therefore, easier for them to serve in times of trials.

I remember that day when Aunt Susan arrived safely in my Camp. What an arduous journey she made! She went from Shanghai to Shaowu by train before taking a long coach-ride to Jiangle County. Then, carrying a load of about 60 pounds, she walked another 18 miles of dangerous, unfamiliar, winding and steep mountain paths before arriving at the destination. Even more precious was the sincere love in the Body of Christ!

I was notified by the Sub-Camp to go to the reception room to receive a family visitor. With thanksgiving in my heart, I made my way there with the aid of a cane. At noon, we had for lunch a vegetable known as “cow-hide cabbage”. A very productive plant, its outer leaves were picked for food; when fully grown, the whole plant would be pulled out, cooked and eaten. I let her try some, but she did not eat it because of its bitterness. Yet we only wished we had been given more of it! She told me that she had thrown away some boiled eggs that had gone bad in the summer heat. How regrettable, I thought. “Perhaps the yolk part could have been taken out for eating!” I said. How very precious food was at times of famine! In those days, common moaning in the Camp could be heard; such as: “Oh, I’d be contented to die if only I’d fill my stomach with sweet potatoes (the cheapest food in the rural areas)!” “Oh, plantain roots, stone pork-liver, pumpkin, rice gruel … just when could I eat them to my heart’s content!”

After resting for a day in the Camp’s guest-house, Aunt Susan picked some wild herbs not commonly found in mountain areas, and returned to Shanghai on the third day. With the aid of a walking cane, I walked her to Jiang Creek Village to see her off.

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Afterwards, with tearful eyes and overwhelming emotions, I returned to the Camp.

The food that I received was actually saved up and accumulated by my wife, mother and sister who themselves often went hungry. My wife told me that when the hunger became unbearable she took a drink of water; even so, it was not as hard for her as for us who had to labor even in hunger. The food was life-saving; once again, I was saved from the brink of death.

Oh! Holy sisters, partakers of the heavenly calling, may the Lord remember your toil on that day! It is due to your gifts of love that today I am still alive to serve the Lord. May I prove worthy of your expectations and of the grace of our Heavenly Father.

Growing Our Own Pumpkins on Wasteland

In the early spring of 1962, more and more inmates had died of starvation, and the labor force that remained had declined drastically. In order to preserve some laborers for heavy duties, the leaders increased the food ration for the hard laborers with food taken from the regular ration of other inmates. To make up for the food shortage, everyone was encouraged to find his own piece of wasteland in the vicinity of our living quarters to grow pumpkins. This was how it was supposed to work: pumpkins harvested would be weighed; 30% would go to the government whereas the remaining 70% would be kept for the grower’s own consumption after being cooked by the kitchen workers. So, quite a number of inmates had their own tiny plots. For the purpose of fertilizing, they swept up ashes left over from mountain fires and, as the

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leaders did not allow excrement in public latrines to be used as fertilizer, they excreted on their own plots. Unfortunately, most of the pumpkins had not yet fully grown by the time we were relocated to Anhui Province, and we did not get to eat our own pumpkins.

Several forest fires broke out during our stay in the northern Fujian mountain forest. Some were caused by cigarette-ends while others by lightning. Some fires lasted for several days or even weeks. With no fire-fighting devices in such primitive forests, it had to take rainstorms for the fire to be put out. However, every time a fire was detected, we were ordered to put it out by beating the fire with a long branch. Most of us acted casually, though there were a few who took risks fighting the fire with the hope of earning early release. Inmates working against the wind could get burned, sometimes even seriously. After the fire had died down, we swept up the ashes and put them into bags for use as potassium fertilizer.

Relocation of Labor Camp to Anhui in 1962

By 1962, of the 20,000 inmates under reform in northern Fujian, more than 11,000 had died. I watched those around me dying one after another. Parcels of their belonging were shipped to Shanghai. The burial site at Number 5 Trench was overcrowded. A fraction of survivors went to extremes by committing suicide or hiding in mountain caves. An inmate surnamed Tao managed to run away to a far-off place, Smooth Prosperity, where he boarded a

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train. Halfway through the ride, he got off the train23 for a meal at the train station. There, he was caught and brought back. It was easy for the Police to identify him because of his clothes, as cotton coats provided by the Labor Camp were black with white coarse lining and were uncommonly styled.

Some inmates stole fruits and vegetables from the villagers. Tomato plants were not grown in the Labor Camp, but one day tomato plants sprang up in the field. Someone had stolen and eaten the villagers’ tomatoes, and the indigested seeds in the fertilizer (excrement) had grown into plants.

There was rumor at this time that the Camp would be relocated. The information was kept secret. We heard about the relocation without knowing why or where we would move to. There was plenty of speculation. We expected to move to the Green East Labor Camp in Shanghai suburb, as we figured that the proximity of a big city might be of greater advantage to us, such as in respect of living condition, food, etc. (It was not until after we had moved to Xuan City in Anhui that we found out the reason for the relocation. It was because President Chiang Kai-shek of Taiwan announced his intention to launch a counter-attack in Mainland China, and the Communist government of China was concerned that we in Fujian, fronting Taiwan, might rise up against the government to side with Taiwan’s military.)

The kitchen workers were busy grinding rice and soybeans, roasting them day and night, preparing them as dry food for the

23 A train ticket at the time was valid for 2-3 days, depending on the distance

of the trip. Within the time limit, one could get off the train and board another to finish

his ride.

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journey. Strangely, the aroma from the preparation could be smelled almost a mile away. It reminded me of the wonder of God’s creation. A man’s sense of smell is especially sharp when he is hungry; beasts, too, have sharp sense of smell probably because they do not feed regularly and oftentimes have to go hungry for days.

When we left northern Fujian in mid-June, we brought along our basic needs. To prevent us from escape, we were not allowed to carry cash. The rest of our belongings was packed up and turned over to the workers who were the last to leave. They then gathered and escorted our belongings to the new location (Anhui Province).

We lined up before departing and were each given two cucumbers for quenching our thirst. The cucumbers differed in size, and we all felt that our own share was the smallest. Such psychological problem was perhaps the result of years of starving. Since there was no lodging for the night during the long journey, we sat in a small, dirty and dilapidated hut throughout the night feeding mosquitoes.

We arrived at a train station the next day and boarded a freight train carrying pigs. It had no seats or windows but only several small ventilating holes. Probably because the steel wheels were defective and not completely circular, the train ride was unbearably bumpy. As I suffered from irregular heartbeats, I could not stand or sit on the floor and could only squat on tiptoe to minimize the jolting. Fortunately, our train had to yield to all other trains, and the frequent stops gave me some breaks. We finally arrived at the Shanghai station, but the train moved on again after a brief stop. Our hope of moving to the Green East Camp in

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Shanghai was shattered. For each meal, we each had a small bag of rice powder mixed with a little soybean powder. When the train arrived at the Wuhu terminus, the escorting team of People’s Liberation Army first alighted and, as usual, mounted their machine guns. We were then each given a ladle of gruel to quench our thirst, for it was hot.

Once Again Building Our “Home” from Scratch

Compared to Jiangle County in northern Fujian, Wuhu was quite a different world. At the train station there were many items of food for sale, such as spiced beans, vegetable soup, buns, pancakes and deep-fried bread-sticks costing 10 cents each. They were all priced about two to three times higher than usual. Sadly, I did not have a penny on me.24 With mouth watering, I could only watch other inmates heartily feasting with the cash they did not turn in for safekeeping. An eight-cent stamp was all that I had. With that, I exchanged for eight cents in cash with which I bought 30 or more spiced beans. It dawned on me that there was a price to be paid for being a law-abiding and disciplined Christian (see I Pet. 2:13).

Later, we took several trucks from Wuhu to Lake Juntian with a group of villages about 6 miles from Xuan City. That was a hilly region with many terraced fields that were actually desolate and weedy. The field-ridges were ruined by hole-drilling eels and mudfish. Scattered all around were piles of soil which were

24 As a measure to prevent escapes, the carrying of cash by inmates was

prohibited.

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actually tombs. What a pitiful sight! Such was the aftermath of the so-called “Three-year Natural Calamities” in Xuan City in which 130,000 people died of starvation.

The County’s Party Committee Secretary was partly to blame for the high death toll. He falsified production reports in order to earn recognition. As a result, very little food was left after paying the government its dues. Those who were labeled as “reactionary elements” were the first to die of starvation. They were the landlords and the rich peasants and their families, except for one landlord who was the only doctor of Chinese medicine left behind for saving lives. Finally, many “poor and lower-middle” peasants and most of their family members, except for one or two survivors, were also starved to death. To appease the public’s intense agitation, the Committee Secretary was executed.

Oh, just how many wronged deaths there were and how tragically the dead descended to hell! And who knows how many of them had accepted Christ? How I wish the gospel had reached them, even if it was done over the radio! Indeed, some people were saved through radio broadcasts. May the Lord bless and purify the gospel broadcasts that they will be pure and powerful. May the Lord also provide radio receivers to the poverty-stricken areas. The reception for overseas gospel broadcasts is especially good after 9 p.m.

Here, the few thatched huts remaining were in ruins and out of repair. We slept under a large rectangular piece of green canvas supported by bamboo poles in the middle. We dug a ditch around the canvas, spread straw on the ground and put our mats on top. We later found centipedes and snakes under our mats. Thus, once again, we started to build our “homes in exile” from scratch.

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There was a kind of white, long-legged bird that often strolled along the field-ridges. They cried like babies with the depressing sound “Ku-ah! Ku-ah!” (resembling “hardship! hardship!” in Chinese). We could not help feeling sad and despaired as we perceived ourselves sharing the same fate as Suwu (100 B.C.) who was exiled to the North Sea (now Lake Baikal) and tended sheep there for 19 years.

Our baggage arrived about half a month later, with many of the neatly wrapped ones missing. Thank God that mine was there, probably because it was casually wrapped with a worn-out blanket - not a deliberate act of mine. It was the Lord who had helped safeguard those worn-out things that I could not afford to lose.

Once the dust had settled, a new round of reform began. Wei, Secretary of Party Committee for the Reform Camp, announced the long-term planning for the next 18 years. The 18-year plan entailed, besides increased grain productivity, the planting of tung-trees, fruit trees, tea groves and tea-oil trees as well as the building of factories and roads, etc. In the four years of reform in northern Fujian, more than half of those on Labor Reform had died; just how many more of us had to die in another 18 years! Many of us were outraged but had to hold our tongues. Occasionally in the lavatory, when no third person was around, I was told, “Yu, we’ll be reformed for the rest of our lives - until we die! … 18 years!”

There was no grain when we first came, and life here in Lake Juntian was hard. We fed on biscuits from Shanghai made of “Number Four Flour” (ingredients unknown) which were as hard as tiles, as well as dried vetch (a kind of edible grass) sent from the Shanghai Green East Labor Camp. Noting the quality of our food,

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the villagers exclaimed, “A pack of hungry wolves have come from Shanghai! The time has come for us to make money!” Before we knew, a small market was set up on a piece of flat land halfway up a hill 1.5 miles from our Camp. It was named the “Merry Wood.” Food items for sale were barley cakes, ham, cooked sweet potatoes, and even noodles and dumplings. Those who had money could find excuses to go or simply sneaked out. One could also take advantage of the half-day for laundry on Sundays to go there. As my money for safekeeping by the cadres had not yet been returned to me, I had no money to spend. However, I decided to go for a look and to share the gaiety and fun. That day I brought along a lady’s handkerchief that was used as a parcel wrap and exchanged it for a barley cake from a woman. The trip to the market was worth the while, after all.

The above was an account of events during the first several months of the relocation to Anhui in 1962.

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CHAPTER 5

My God-Given Wife

Timely Delivery from My Wife

Just over a month after moving to Anhui, my wife made a surprise25 visit all by herself. Despite the long and arduous journey, she made the visit without concern for her own safety and the social humiliation. One afternoon as I was resting under the large canvas shade, I heard a call, “Yu, your wife is here to see you!” I stuck my head out and found that indeed it was no joke! Not caring how I looked, I dashed out, overwhelmed.

Most inmates were forced to part with their wives and children. I remember that in the detention center in 1958, the bride of a couple married for only 5 days came crying and wailing, demanding a divorce. It was a well known fact that the wife and children of one who was on Labor Reform would share 80% to 90% of their suffering. Besides, their relatives made clear breaks from them, and they were humiliated wherever they went. For the peace and safety of the family, it was only reasonable for divorce requests to be granted. Therefore, very few couples remained married; fewer still were spouses who made visits to Labor Camps. A visit to the Labor Camp was a very humiliating act. Moreover, how could a career woman, a physician, from the city walk more

25 I later learned that she had sent a couple of letters which I did not receive,

probably because there was no postal service in such bleak and desolate areas.

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than 7 miles of country roads with no means of transportation in addition to 2 miles of winding, desolate paths and field-ridges? And how could she carry the load of 66 pounds? And traveling all that distance in the last phase of the so-called “Three-Year Natural Calamities” too? Thank God for His spirit that compelled her to do so; “for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure” (Phil. 2:13).

The Lord Was Her Constant Help

She said, “After Aunt Susan returned from visiting you in northern Fujian, she told me about the terrible starvation. Ever since then I’ve relied on the Lord’s grace to try my best to overcome hardship so as to save up some food to bring to you in the Labor Camp. But I had to wait for the opportunity as well as the right conditions. Thank God, for He soon gave me the opportunity. For the first time, in August 1962, the Hospital laid down a rule granting workers 10 days off each year, and mine was from August 6th to 16th. I had earlier bought some flour with food coupons saved from my ration26. Your mother roasted some bags of flour to which she added sugar and lard. We also bought some soybean powder and compressed biscuits like those supplied to the army. With the meat coupons we save up, we bought pork and made it into dried, shredded pork. Some sisters in the Lord who knew about my visit also sent some dried food they had saved out of loving care. All these things made up the load of almost 66

26 Actually, during the “Three-Year Calamities”, even most citizens had to go

hungry at times.

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pounds, enough to fill one traveling bag and a kerosene tin measuring 1 foot x 1foot x 1.5 feet.

She continued, “Your two brothers Chong-jia and Chong-yao carried the two pieces of luggage for me to see me off. They stopped at the entrance of the wharf as they were not allowed to enter the ship. I made my way to the cabin seat all by myself after pausing for rest a number of times and becoming breathless. I prayed for the Lord to prepare a reliable person or two to help me27

with my load. The passengers around me looked like strong male and female students and had little luggage. The ship reached Wuhu in the evening. I prayed for the Lord’s protection from wicked people. The Lord answered my prayers, and two male students offered to help carry my luggage to the inn by the wharf. I followed them anxiously, watching the food to ensure no one walked away with it. It was a long night at the inn; despite my fatigue, I could not sleep all night. Thank God that in the morning, to my surprise, a local youth offered to carry my luggage to the nearby bus-stop. I took a bus to the coach-stop where I then boarded a coach to Xuan City. The coach did not take off until noon, and by the time it reached Xuan City it was all dark. After getting off, I found myself totally helpless in a strange surrounding. I walked and rested, and walked and rested until I eventually found a small inn that looked like a residence. I had to register my identity and to disclose the places of origin and destination of my journey. When the innkeeper learned that I was going to Lake Juntian Labor Camp, he knew the purpose of my trip. In the small village-like town of Xuan City that was heavily

27 My wife was young at the time, only 34 years old.

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infested with mosquitoes, how could I go to sleep! I kept guarding my load of food - for though the food is dried and of crude quality, it’s to be a life-saver.”

“Early next morning, I left the inn and carried the luggage to the roadside. Not knowing the area and the directions to Lake Juntian Labor Camp, I asked around. Thank God that He had prepared a kind elderly workman who was still strong despite his age. He was on his way to visit his son in a different Sub-Camp. This kind man gladly helped me carry the load for quite a distance, from the city to the suburb. As he had to go in a different direction, he left my luggage by the roadside. Already exhausted, I waited by the roadside for the next opportunity.”

“Thank God! A truck came by, and I waved the driver for help. Seeing a woman by herself, he stopped. I told him where I was heading and gave him two packets of cigarettes28. He drove me for a distance and, after showing me which way to take to Lake Juntian Labor Camp, he drove off in another direction. After getting off the truck, I looked in the direction I was heading. I saw a range of hills, and had no idea what to do next. Again, I asked the Lord for help. Just then, I saw two men carrying a large wooden box not too far away. When they drew near, I asked them where they were going and found that it was exactly where I wanted to go. I told them whom I was going to see, and they said that they belonged to your Camp and that they knew you. I then asked if they could help me carry two small baggages (an easy job for them). Being inmates themselves and very sympathetic

28 The cigarettes were packed for the journey as it was the custom then to use

cigarettes as small gifts for services rendered.

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towards family visitors, they readily agreed. They walked very fast while I walked fast behind, thanking the wonderful Lord and keeping an eye on my load of food and the baggages. The walk was very difficult for me as the ground was barren and hilly and the field-ridges were badly damaged. It was already noon by the time we reached our destination. One of the men shouted, ‘Yu, your wife’s here to see you!’”

It was past our lunchtime. Extending special treatment towards inmates’ family members, the cadre offered her a bowl of rice and a small dish of soybeans in soy sauce which was usually meant for cadres only. Exhausted from the journey of two days and nights, she did not have an appetite and said, “I can’t eat, thanks!” I immediately said, “Do eat, do!” and finished eating the food. That night the cadre arranged for her to stay in a nearby villager’s home. After a night’s rest, she cooked me some pumpkin and, by permission of the cadre, bought a game hen and cooked it for me.

On the morning of the 9th, she was prepared to return home. I had to take her to the Xuan City coach-stop. It was a seven-mile walk through remote and unfamiliar areas and a vast stretch of fields. Besides, there would be hardly anyone around from whom she could ask for directions should she lose her way. The stone-hearted instructor turned down my request. Despite this, I decided to accompany her, prepared to face any resulting punishment. I walked with her and, when we came to the two bridge passes damaged probably by mountain flood, I carried her. All the way, I said nothing other than to encourage her to depend on the Lord should difficulties arise. Having bought her a ticket at the coach stop, I immediately took off without waiting for her to board the

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coach. After walking a total of 14 miles (roundtrip), it was past sunset by the time I drew close to the Labor Camp. Darkness began to fall and there was no lighting around (electricity not yet available). Soon there was total darkness, and I had no way of knowing which way to go or to turn. With no one else around and the fear of wolves in the hills, I became nervous and cried out, “Lord Jesus! Lord Jesus!” Thank God that there happened to be guards on night duty at the reservoir29 some distance off. Hearing me, they came towards me with flashlights and showed me the turn leading to the Labor Camp. By the time I arrived at the Camp, it was already 10 p.m.

My Kind-hearted and Honest Wife

Thank God! “A prudent wife is from the Lord” (Prov. 19:14). As far as marriage is concerned, I have been greatly blessed by the Lord for having exalted Him in this matter. As a youth, instead of following secular standards for choosing a lifetime companion, I fasted and prayed seven times. I asked the Lord to help me weigh this matter carefully. I then laid down three requirements: first, she must be a born-again and devout Christian; second, she must be healthy with no chronic disease, so that I could devote more time to serve the Lord; third, she must have a career and be self-supportive. Strangely enough, even back then I had considered the possibility of being imprisoned for the Lord’s

29 The rice fields in hilly areas were irrigated with water from the reservoir.

There were guards on night duty to prevent the theft of water by peasants in the

vicinity.

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sake and preferred a wife with a career, so that the children would not be starved should I not be able to support them. I was also aware that, with the weakening economy, it would not be easy to live by faith and rely solely on the Lord for provision, not to mention that in the end-time “lawlessness would abound … the love in many would grow cold (Matt. 24:12)” as “men shall be lovers of their own selves and covetous (I Tim. 3:2).” Even Apostle Paul had to work as a part-time tent-maker. When he could no longer hold the job and was imprisoned at an old age, no church provided for him other than the Church of Philippi (Phil. 4:15). Though the Corinthian Christians were willing to do so, Paul declined again and again, explaining that he did not want to be their burden as they were carnal and judgmental behind Paul’s back (II Cor.12:16; 11:19).

The loving Father gladly listened to prayers that exalted His holy name, and blessed me with a virtuous wife. For more than 20 long years of my Labor Reform in exile, she had to put up with numerous temptations and difficulties, enduring each political movement. When I was sent into exile, my elder daughter was barely two years old and my younger daughter was only five months old. Besides the hardship of life, she had to remit to me 16 yuan every month30. Because of our relationship, she, an oral specialist, was first transferred to Shanghai’s suburban town of Green Cattail to treat blood-fluke patients (unrelated to her specialty) and later transferred to the mountain ranges of Qimen in

30 Checks were not used in China. The postal office provided a special

envelope into which no more than 16 yuan in cash could be enclosed. It would then be

sent by registered mail.

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Anhui Province, climbing hills searching for medicinal herbs. She had to put up with a great deal of abuse, despise, hardship, misery and poverty! An athletic sprinter in her college days, she had over the years developed high blood pressure and coronary heart disease.

As a young child, our elder daughter, Ruby, used to stand still in front of a certain bakery when she became hungry, but her mother had no money to buy anything from the shop. Even as a child, Ruby’s artistic talent was evident. Her teacher thought highly of her and helped to develop her talent, publishing her drawing in the Children’s Pictorial. However, because her mother could not afford to buy her the painting needs, like watercolor and brushes, she was often disappointed. During the Cultural Revolution, the teacher ceased coaching her for fear that she would be implicated because the student’s father was in the Labor Camp.

(In recent years, Ruby made use of her spare-time to study the art of “Pressed Flowers.” Some of her works were on display in Japan and England and were published in a book in Chinese – The Art of Pressed Flowers.)

The Sister Who Shared My Wife’s Load

My two daughters were in Suzhou before I left for Labor Reform. My elder daughter was born in Shanghai and her permanent residence was registered in Shanghai. My younger daughter was born in Suzhou and her permanent residence was

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registered in Suzhou31. As my wife and I were very busy, our two daughters were cared for by a devout sister, Mrs. Sun. We called her Granny, an address which in Suzhou was for someone intimate. Granny had no children of her own, and her husband had long passed away. When my elder daughter came of school age she returned to Shanghai, while my younger daughter all along stayed with Granny. When Granny grew old, my younger daughter cared for her until she rested in the Lord on July 16 th, 2000 at the age of 87.

Right after I was taken to Labor Camp, my monthly salary of 83 yuan was immediately stopped. At the time, my father had died a martyr for two years, leaving behind no inheritance (he never bought any property). The Nanyang Hospital in Shanghai where he had worked did not even pay the pension he had earned, as “counter-revolutionaries” were not allowed pensions. After his burial, our family was stricken with poverty. Thank God that my wife had a loving heart and offered to send 16 yuan each month to me in the Labor Camp. The financial condition of our small family had therefore drastically declined, and we could no longer afford to pay Granny for taking care of our children. To save on living expenses, my wife then decided to go to Suzhou to bring the children back to Shanghai (90-minute ride by train). But as a despised family member of a “counter-revolutionary” as well as a hospital teaching physician responsible for treatment, teaching and research, how could she take care of the children in Shanghai? She

31 China’s system of residence registration was quite uncommon: it was easy

to convert one’s residence from a city to a village, but not vice versa. It was almost

impossible to convert it to large cities like Shanghai and Beijing.

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was at a loss as to what to do. At barely two years’ old, our first-born needed care, and our younger child, only 5 months old, had to be nursed. My mother was already 58 years old at the time, and her youngest son was only 13. She could not afford to help my wife because of her own heavy housework. Coupled with the difficult financial situation, my wife had no alternative but to bring the children back from Suzhou.

Praise the Heavenly Father for His love and faithfulness! He knew about my wife’s predicament and had not forgotten His loving promise: “God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able, but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” (I Cor. 10:13). Thank “God who comforts the downcast” (II Cor. 7:6)! When my wife went to Suzhou to bring the children back, Granny said, “Our brother is undergoing Labor Reform for the Lord’s sake, and your burden is too heavy. I’ll share your load!” My wife insisted on bringing the children back to Shanghai, “With your present age and qualification, you’d have no problem finding a job that will earn you a pension when you retire. You’ll be paying too great a price for not going to work and just caring for my children. My family has no future because the children’s father has an indelible record of being a ‘labor reform released element.’ To be honest with you, I can’t afford to pay your wages and the children’s living expenses.” With loving kindness, Granny comforted my wife, “You needn’t pay me. As for the children’s living expenses, just pay according to your ability; we can all look up to the Lord in case of shortage - our God is a living God.” Seeing Granny’s persistence and failing to dissuade her, my wife returned to Shanghai alone with a grateful heart.

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Granny was 45 years’ old at the time. Though she never received any education, she was skillful with her hands. To earn a little extra to cover the expenses, she brought home some sewing work from garment factories, such as embroidery and button-sewing. Everyday she worked tirelessly until midnight. To save on the electricity bill, she placed a five-watt light-bulb right before her eyes as she worked, consuming only half a unit (Kwh) each month on a shared meter. At times when she could not make ends meet, she secretly sold some of her limited old possessions.

During the so-called “Three-year Natural Calamities” (1959-1961), the government food rationing amount was greatly reduced. The children, too young to understand the situation, often cried when they grew hungry. Granny often reduced her own food intake in order to save up coupons for cakes for the hungry children. When the children were sick, she took them to seek medical treatment, carrying the younger child in one arm and leading the other child with the other hand. She waited until the children had recovered before asking someone to write32 to inform my wife so as not to distract her from work. On New Year’s Day or other festive days, my wife went to Suzhou to share with them the food she had saved up. When she learned from the neighbors that Granny fainted on the street as she was lining up to buy rice, she knew that it was due to hypoglycemia caused by hunger. Granny never told my wife of matters such as this that would cause her to worry.

32 Granny had never been educated. She learned to read the Bible after

accepting Christ.

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Granny’s love was deep and hidden, poured silently over the Lord. I truly thank and praise the Lord for this wonderful and God-loving sister who shared my wife’s heavy burden and who helped raise my two children. Oh Lord, please remember on that day the pure and selfless love this sister had manifested for Your holy name’s sake!

When my wife returned to work in the hospital after visiting me, her colleagues noticed the tanning of her skin and knew that she had been to the Labor Camp. They talked behind her back. During the time of the Cultural Revolution, her Camp visit was one of the issues raised in the denunciation of her.

Were it not for the Lord’s grace and the intercessory prayers of godly members in Christ, my family would have broken up long ago under those trying circumstances.

CHAPTER 6

The Precious Words Of God

Reading the Bible in a “Tiger-Den”

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One spring morning in 1966 during the early stage of the Cultural Revolution, we had just finished transplanting rice seedlings when we heard an unfamiliar whistling. Everyone in the Team left the fields for the shabby mess for emergency gathering. Terror reigned over the whole camp as though something disastrous had happened.

The Team-director solemnly announced, “In the name of the Revolutionary Committee of the General Camp, I officially declare the inception, right here in this Team, of the unprecedented Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution led personally by Chairman Mao Tse-tung. Today, the first step of action is the wiping out of “the four olds” (old ideas, old culture, old customs, old habits). From this moment on, no one is allowed to leave the mess without permission, or to whisper to each other, or to throw anything from his pocket out of the window, and permission must be obtained for using the toilets. You’re all “four elements” (i.e. landlords, rich peasants, counter-revolutionaries, evil-doers who were morally corrupt criminals). Without exception, all of your belongings will be thoroughly searched.” A deadly silence filled the air.

Then, one by one and in the order of our bed spaces, we were taken from the mess to the dormitory for searching purpose. Though everyone had to be searched, there were special targets in each Team. I was one of the three special targets, as I was characterized as one of the most stubborn and questionable in the team - a “granite-head” unwilling to give up his belief, who just lately (in 1965) was punished by the Labor Reform Bureau for carrying out counter-revolutionary and counter-reform activities (preaching) within the Labor Camp, and who “was still wearing

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the counter-revolutionary hat”33 (a sentence that was not revoked until 1987, by which time I had already left for the United States).

The search was vigorous and thorough. A landlord, Chiron Wu, was found to have national food coupons34 hidden in the brim of his hat and in his old and heavily patched quilted coat. A few secret diaries and hidden books found were confiscated (all books were illegal except for those by Communist leaders Marx, Lenin and Mao Tse-tung). It was absolutely ridiculous that the following things were also targeted as “the four olds” subject to confiscation: empty cans of KLIM brand milk-powder imported from the United States; a private bronze seal with an engraved lion on its handle; and my used safety-razor made in Britain. A long time later, the razor was returned to me after the label “Eveready” was filed off, thus “wiping out the four olds”!

God Preserved My Precious Pocket Bible

When it came my turn to be searched, I became very nervous. My heart was beating very fast as I stood beside my bed, for I had a hidden Bible. I worried that if it was discovered, not only would my eight years of Labor Reform be wasted, but worse yet I would have no Bible to read. A cadre conducted a very thorough search, examining even the stack of toilet paper under my mat sheet by sheet.

33 Counter-revolutionary hat: “hat” represents “crime.” In September 1962

in Anhui, I had completed “Re-education through Labor” – however, that did not mean

the removal of the “counter-revolutionary hat.”

34 During those years, people could not buy food without food coupons. A

person who escaped from the Labor Camp could hardly survive without food coupons.

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My pocket Bible was my treasure. Though of the smallest print, it was still too big to be easily discovered. As a man of caution, I had earlier taken it apart into five booklets. I wrapped one of them with plastic paper to protect it from sweat and carried it in my pocket, reading it whenever the opportunity arose. I kept the other four booklets in the most inconspicuous spots in my luggage, and replaced the section that I had finished reading with one of them.

To make a long story short, the Lord had wonderfully guarded them so that none of the booklets was discovered. After the cadre had searched my bed, I let him search two large traveling bags with no Bible inside. The things that had been searched were placed on one side. One booklet was hidden inside a pair of socks in the small travel bag. When I noticed that the cadre was getting a bit tired and listless, I kicked the small bag to the side of the searched items. That way, I evaded one raid. Another booklet was hidden among the national food coupons which were given to me by an elderly neighbor in Shanghai, sister Gui-zhen Ni (sister of brother Watchman Nee). The cadre asked if I had any national food coupons, and I immediately answered, “Yes! Yes! Let me count them for you.” As I was counting, I secretly thrust the booklet into my pocket. Another booklet hidden in the interlayer of my wallet was not discovered – thank God for blindfolding him!

Reading the Bible in the Labor Camp was a very dangerous act that definitely required the Lord’s protection. There was little time for reading the Bible, only 15 minutes during the morning and afternoon breaks. When others whiled away the time, I stayed away from them as I read and memorized the verses of the Bible that I held in my palm. In the summer nights, I sat inside the

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mosquito net and, in the very dim electric light, read the Bible hidden in between the leaves of the books written by Marx and Lenin. In the winter, I read it in bed under a quilt with the help of a flashlight, limiting the reading time to only 15 minutes each night as I could ill afford to buy the batteries (a pair of batteries cost 52 cents and lasted only 14 hours). Occasionally I took the opportunity on night duty to study the Bible. One time I committed to memory the whole book of Jude. There were few opportunities other than these to read the Bible.

Trembling At the Words of God

Oh, dear young brothers and sisters, it is crucial to study reverently and to obey the words of God. Such building of the house on the rock is a crucial matter of eternal concern (Matt. 7:24-27).

Ezra, the scribe and priest, grew up while exiled in captivity in the land of Babylon. Many in captivity felt they were plunged into darkness and helplessness, totally despondent and disheartened. However, Ezra “trembled at the words of the God of Israel.” Known as “a ready scribe in the law of Moses, which the Lord God of Israel had given,” he was even regarded by Artaxerxes, king of the gentiles, as “the scribe of the law of the God of heaven.” In the land of the gentiles, away from his own country, he had, with great effort and determination, studied as well as obeyed the laws of God, while at the same time taught the people of God (Ezra 7:6-21; Neh. 8:1-18; also Isa. 66:2,5 for reference). He felt so bitter towards the sins of the Israelites for marrying gentile women as against God’s laws that he “tore his

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garment and his robe and plucked out some of the hair of his head and beard, and sat down astonished (Ezra 9:3,4).” Refusing food and drink, and with a heart that “trembled at the words of the God of Israel,” he heartrendingly repented, confessed and dealt with the problem. In so doing, he exerted a great spiritual influence that caused the people of God to turn back, thus saving them from the fierce wrath of God (Ezra 9:5-10:15). Ezra had set an excellent example for us.

The Second Search After the first search, I became even more cautious when

reading the Bible as I was afraid that there would be a second search. It turned out as I had expected. Winter had come and it had been quite some time since the first search. I needed to re-think how I should hide the five segments of the Bible. I did not think it expedient to hide them in five places, which would not only make it inconvenient for reading but would increase the chances of being discovered. I knew that once one segment was discovered, the others could easily be traced, and my years of Labor Reform would then be all in vain. I had come up with many ideas (such as inside a hay-stack or on the roof of the latrine) but none seemed ideal. Finally, I decided to sew a small pocket under the “quilt-protector”35. Except for the segment to be carried on the body, I

35 In most households in Shanghai, “protectors” were sewn on quilts. The

“quilt protector” was a long, rectangular piece of cloth added along the edge of the

quilt closest to the head (the part of the quilt that got dirty most easily). It could be

easily removed for washing - without the need to wash the whole quilt.

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hid the other four segments inside the small pocket that had a tiny opening to prevent the contents from falling off easily. At night, after the lights went out and everyone was asleep, I read it under the quilt with the help of my flashlight.

The cadre isolated and confined me and two other teammates who were considered to have the greatest and the most complicated problems. A “Study Class on the Thoughts of Mao Tse-tung” was set up. Together with seven others who were considered more successfully reformed as the “driving force” to assist us, there were altogether ten people in the study class. As we had to share one wide bed, we slept like a pack of sardines. The team was temporarily relieved of labor to allow for the whole day’s studies.

Of the three targeted, there was one person besides me who was rather extraordinary. A native of Jiangxi, he was re-arrested 10 years after his escape from another Labor Camp, and was sent to our Camp for continued reform. He was a man of few words, and all we knew about him was that after his escape he worked as a laborer in a quarry factory in a remote area of Jiangxi Province. There, workers’ identities were not checked as, apart from the homeless and the jobless, very few people were willing to make that kind of living. The wages were paid weekly and were barely sufficient for living expenses. After suffering poverty for some time, he decided to leave for Guandong Province to find a better job. Unfortunately, he was arrested after his identity was disclosed, and was sent to our Camp for continued reform. Having no shoes and no clothes to change into, he requested an allowance. He was granted an advanced payment of 4.5 yuan for a pair of rain-boots. Unexpectedly, on a drizzling night, he escaped again.

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Thus, with only two targets left in the study class, the attacks were even more concentrated and intense.

A surprise search was conducted one day when everything I (a special target) possessed was thoroughly searched. However, the searcher did not suspect my cotton quilt. Soon afterwards, a stout inmate named Yao, supposedly more well-reformed than the rest, came forward and grabbed the middle part of the quilt, lifted it up and said, “Nothing!” Thus, I evaded a disaster again. Praise the Lord!

The wiping out of “the four olds” was still in full swing. I finally decided to put the five Bible segments in a double-layered plastic bag and to hide it in a very tricky spot until the threat had gone: I chose one particular rice seedling in a field near our living quarters. Keeping in mind its exact position, I pulled it out, placed the waterproof Bible where the roots lay, placed a clay tile on top to prevent it from floating and, to help me locate it later, replanted the seedling on top of it (this way the plant would not be found missing). When the threat no longer existed, I secretly took it out to read again.

Oh, during the 10 years of Cultural Revolution (1966-1976), numerous Christians had tried every possible means to hide the Bible in many different ways, such as under the eaves, inside tree holes, inside sofa seats and buried in the ground. Some were discovered and their owners were subjected to various forms of torture. These occurrences reminded me of the Dead Sea Scrolls.

The Dead Sea Scrolls

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In 1947 the world-renowned Dead Sea Scroll was found inside a mountain cave south of Jericho. Consisting of approximately 600 parchment scraps of the Bible, it was written in Hebrew and Aramaic. Scientists determined they were dated from 175 A.D. to 225 A.D. They had been guarded by the Lord over the ages and through ravages, including the period of Roman persecution of Christians in the years 70 A.D. to 313 A.D. Even today the scrolls are of great referential value. We thank and praise the Heavenly Father for His wonderful guidance of those courageous saints in the clever hiding of the precious scrolls.

The Collection of Vital Biblical Truth

One day in late 1979 (by this time, I had already returned to Shanghai from the Labor Camp), brother Chang, a co-worker in his 30’s from a small village in northern China, came to see me. His testimony, filled with praises and tears, was extremely touching.

After the Cultural Revolution, the Bible was an extremely rare and precious possession. In his thirst for God’s words, he enquired and found that an elderly sister living about 3 miles away possessed a Bible consisting of both the Old and the New Testaments. Since it was a family heirloom, she refused to lend it to anyone. Therefore, to read the Bible, everyday brother Chang had to walk a total distance of 6 miles before and after working in the people’s commune. Some time later, he proposed a deal with the sister – he offered to care for her “private lots”36 and to grow

36 After the country had adopted the policy of “collective agriculture,”

peasants were allotted small pieces of land (about 133 m² for their private farming.

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vegetables for her in exchange for borrowing the Bible. With her feet bound37 since childhood, the elderly sister found it hard to work on the land, such as growing vegetables, weeding, digging, carrying human waste and fertilizing. Therefore she agreed to the proposal. Brother Chang then studied God’s words with great thirst and effort, finding them more precious the more he read, realizing “more to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold: sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb” (Psa. 19:10).

Later on, he wondered if something could be done to share the words of God with the many co-workers who had no access to the Bible. He then had an idea. He copied down those Bible verses he considered vital and then sorted and compiled them into The Collection of Vital Biblical Truth. He asked some Christian youths who came from the urban areas38 to assist with the preparation of wax stencils and the mimeograph printing. The printed material was then distributed to co-workers who hungered for God’s words. Everyday he worked hard until midnight. His wife, though a believer, considered his work too dangerous; for once the Public Security Bureau found out about it, the consequence would be disastrous. She was, however, unable to stop his burning desire to sacrifice for the Lord.

They were allowed to keep the produce.

37 Feet-binding of women was a bad custom in ancient China.

38 During the Cultural Revolution, middle-school graduates were dispatched

from the urban areas to the countryside in order to receive the so-called “Re-education

of The Poor and The Lower-Middle Peasants.”

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Eventually, after a great deal of dedicated effort, brother Chang finished preparing the work that was to be stenciled and printed by a young sister. Yet his wife became more and more worried and nervous, fearing that if the finished work should end up in the hands of the Public Security officers, the whole family would be victimized. She decided to take the matter in her own hands by cold-heartedly thrusting all his manuscripts into the furnace. With an aching heart and unable to change the situation, he set out to redo the work all over! To make a long story short, his wife burnt up his manuscripts each time they were ready for printing. This happened three or four times! Thank God, though, for brother Chang’s unyielding spirit!

One night, as he was sharing God’s words in a meeting with brothers and sisters in a cellar not far from his home, the police were informed and they rounded up the meeting place. They later released everyone except brother Chang. He was then hanged up and beaten until he fainted. The police then left. In the mid-night chill, he came to but was unable to move because of his bad wounds. Thinking that his wife would be worried about him and knowing that God was “a very present help in trouble” (Psa. 46:1; Heb. 4:16), he pleaded for the Lord to give him strength to return home. He did eventually make his way home by crawling but collapsed right at the front door. With anger mixed with pity, his wife carried him into the house. His blood-soaked clothes had adhered to the wounds all over his body and could not be taken off until his wife washed away the blood with warm water from the kitchen. Thank God that it was during those several hours that night that the Holy Spirit worked within her and touched her. She realized that she was Satan’s accomplice in the destruction of

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God’s work, thus seriously sinning against God. She then confessed her sins with great repentance “in sackcloth and ashes.” Indeed, when death worked in the brother, life worked in his wife (see II Cor. 4:12). Since then, the couple worked together until the book, The Collection of Vital Biblical Truth, finally came out in print (mimeographed).

On the day brother Chang and I met, he showed me the book. I could not help marveling at its production – thousands of words with essential Bible verses that were particularly noteworthy in those days, compiled by a young co-worker with only middle-school education, without the aid of any reference book. We can only bow down before the Lord for providing this book that has greatly helped many co-workers in promoting the spread of the gospel and in the nurturing of believers. Oh, how great the blessings were that the Lord had given through the several fishermen - “unlearned and ignorant men” like Peter, James and John who gave up their all to follow the Lord!

False Alarm

Brother Li, a servant of the Lord, was on Labor Reform in another Camp. During the wiping out of “the four olds” in the early stage of the Cultural Revolution, his team was also searched over. At the time, most of the brothers in prison or in Labor Camps did not possess the Bible. Thank God that, like me, he too had a small Bible. By nature, though, he was not as cautious as I was. Every time he finished reading the Bible, he stuck it under his pillow. During the surprise search, he was also extremely nervous. He figured that he could not evade a disaster and that his years of reform would definitely be in vain. Standing by his bed

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and watching his things being searched, he could not believe that his Bible was not discovered. Later on, his roommate who slept next to him patted his shoulders and said, “Don’t be nervous; I have it.” Thank God! Actually this roommate had earlier noticed brother Li secretly reading the book. Out of curiosity, he had taken it to read in brother Li’s absence. He had done so a number of times, and had read it through more than once. By the Lord’s wonderful arrangement, the roommate happened to have taken the small Bible, thus protecting Brother Li from a possible disaster.

Oh, may the Lord implant our faith more firmly in Him and in His words, that we may learn to depend on Him and to trust Him more; so that when storms suddenly hit, we will not lose the indwelt peace and tranquility – Luke 8:25.

“Roman Soldiers Could Go ThroughWithout Any Hindrance”

A brother, who was suddenly arrested, received a heavy sentence and was imprisoned. He did not, of course, have the Bible with him; yet he yearned to have one. When his wife came to visit him, he asked her to do all she could to bring him Chapters five to eight of the book of Romans. This was a very risky thing to do which would bring dreadful consequences if detected. After praying about it, his wife came up with an idea. She went to a pickled food store and bought a mustard tuber the size of a fist. In

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Shanghai, preserved mustard-roots were usually wrapped with old newspapers to keep the hands dry in handling. After she returned home, she wrapped the root first with plastic, then with pages of Romans Chapters 5 to 8, and finally with old newspapers on the outside. It passed the prison inspection.

The most important section of the book of Romans is contained in Chapters 5 to 8. There was an ancient, well known church saying with dual meanings: in the time of the Roman Empire, the saying “a Roman soldier could pass through without any hindrance” was also used to mean that a Christian who had truly learned this portion of the book of Romans could go through the path of life without any hindrance.

CHAPTER 7

Sacrificial Love

The Sister Who Willingly Sacrificed Herself(Psalm 110:3)

After I had gone through 21 years of Labor Reform, the

Lord’s time had finally come. With His mighty and wonderful

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hands, He led me out of the Labor Camp. That was, in fact, nothing short of a miracle.

After my release in 1979, an American Chinese brother visited me. We had known each other since our youth prior to 1949, and were both past our 50’s when we reunited then. He said that in 1956 when overseas Christians learned about brothers and sisters in China being thrown into prisons and Labor Camps, they wanted to extend their loving care by sharing the burdens of persecuted Christians and their families. However, there was no way they could transmit the love offering to China. Later, they remitted the money to Hong Kong which was close to China, and awaited the opportunity to dispatch and distribute it to needy members in China. For years, though, no one in China dared to accept the large sum of money. Thank God that later a sister named Pearl Dong (mentioned in previous chapters), was willing to receive it despite the implicated risk and difficulty. Oh, thank God that in His hand there was such a fitting vessel who was willing to sacrifice herself (Ref. Psa. 110:3).

Brothers and sisters, if only you had a little knowledge of China’s social condition at the time, you would understand that whoever accepted the money from abroad would immediately be suspected of being an imperialist “spy” or “secret agent”, and would be questioned by the “highly skeptical” Public Security Bureau – for instance: “Where did the money come from?” … “What’s your relationship with the senders?” “How’s the money going to be used?” The outcome would definitely be dreadful.

There were almost 4,000 registered church members in the large church which I attended in Shanghai, yet none of them dared accept the Lord’s offering – this was understandable in view of the

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dangerous circumstances then. After sister Dong had bravely received the Lord’s offering set apart for divine work, she spent time every day buying food and sending parcels. Thank God that she did not discriminate respecting denominations! She sent parcels to brothers and sisters whom she knew were in prisons and Labor Camps for the Lord’s sake, regardless of their denominational backgrounds. It was the time of the so-called “Three-year Natural Calamities” when the post office prohibited the mailing of food, especially to Labor Camps - rationalizing that it did not make sense to send food produced in the countryside back to the countryside. It was very difficult to mail food, as parcels had to be inspected by the post office before being mailed out. Every time sister Dong went to the post office, she had to bring two parcels of the same color, shape, size and weight. Of these two parcels, one was prepared for postal inspection and did not contain food whereas the other one containing food was intended to skip the inspection. She kept the food parcel in a bag as she allowed the postal worker inspect the parcel without food. As she was doing the wrapping and sewing up after the inspection, she then secretly substituted the inspected parcel with the food parcel. As the post office was often very crowded, she was able to do so without being noticed. That was how she succeeded in sending the food parcels to the prisoners. She did not mind the trouble of sending the parcels one by one, taking the risk many times each month and using different post offices for fear of being suspected. Do you see how hard she labored? Finally, during the Cultural Revolution, she was caught sending food parcels to prisoners. She was arrested for “sympathizing with counter-

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revolutionary elements” and was sentenced to seven years in prison.

When she was sentenced to prison, it seemed like the Lord knew that her mission had already been accomplished, for by that time our Labor Camp had already moved to Anhui. About two years later (in 1964), with the recovery of rice production, the living condition in Labor Camps had improved and hunger was no longer a threat. It was then that sister Dong was imprisoned.

Did sister Dong “commit a fraud” by “cheating the government,” thus sinning against God? In answer to this question, I think we should look at it in the following manner. In the Bible, two Hebrew midwives disobeyed Pharaoh’s command by refusing to throw the Hebrew newborn sons into the river. God then treated them well and made them houses (Ex. 1:17-21). Here, God showed us a principle: when a governing authority acts against God’s principle (“for the punishment of evildoers and for the praise of them that do well” - I Pet. 2:14) by killing and mistreating the innocent, God delights and appreciates whoever steps forward, despite risks, by standing on God’s side and suffering persecution for righteousness’ sake. When the mortality rate is high and a brother’s life is threatened by starvation, but the evil government does not allow relatives to extend a helping hand, then we should not be bound by the evil power. Rather, we should bravely stand up as sister Dong did, especially if the person concerned is an innocent brother sentenced for the Lord’s sake. Blessed is the person who is sentenced and persecuted for the sake of righteousness for, as the Lord says, the kingdom of heaven is his (Matt. 5:10).

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Denying Self & Taking Up the CrossOut of Love for the Lord

It was only by God’s miracle that I was released from the Labor Camp. Since I neither gave up my faith nor accepted Marxist-Lenin Atheism, I was actually not “reformed” and should therefore not have been released.

After my release from the Labor Camp, I should, of course, visit elderly Sister Dong, who was imprisoned for us, and should try my best to help her. However, each prisoner was allowed visit by the closest relative only once a month, and the time of the visit was fixed. Having learned that Sister Dong’s visitor was her elder sister, I packed up some of the things she would need and asked her sister to bring them along on her next prison visit. One month later when I revisited her sister, I was surprised to learn that Sister Dong had already been released from prison and that a sister, Mrs. Zhu, had received Sister Dong into her home. On hearing this, I was filled with joy, thanksgiving and praises for the Lord! Immediately, I went to the sister’s home to see Sister Dong. I was very excited to see her, and the first question I asked her was, “Aunt Dong, how did you feel when you were sentenced to seven years of imprisonment for our sake? Weren’t you regretful and upset?” To my surprise, she answered, “I’ve no regret at all. I told the Lord that I didn’t care how long the prison term was and that I was willing to even die in prison.” Oh, how precious an absolutely loyal heart for the Lord is! Today how few are those who sacrifice themselves for the love of the Lord and brothers-in-Christ! May the Lord have mercy on us!

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Originally sentenced to seven years in prison, Sister Dong was actually locked up in the Shanghai Tilan Bridge Prison for over eleven years! She said that other prisoners who had fulfilled their term all pressed for release from the prison39. As for her, she simply carried on with her prison life without pressing for release. Life in prison was not the same as in Labor Camps - it was very monotonous. Throughout the 365 days of the year, the women prisoners were mostly engaged in dull and boring jobs such as gluing matchboxes and recovering threads from discarded textiles to be used as cleaning rags by mechanics. As they were also required to attend political classes and meetings, they had little time left for personal activities.

Having lost all her possessions since her imprisonment, Sister Dong really experienced having the Lord as all of everything. Her original residence had been occupied and her clothes and furniture were all gone. As Paul said, “I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ” (Phil. 3:8). Having been imprisoned for the Lord’s sake, Sister Dong, who remained celibate for the Lord, had nothing other than the few things she had brought with her to the jail. Thank God that on the day of Sister Dong’s release from prison, a sister Mrs. Zhu, offered to receive her! This was a very extraordinary hospitality at the time because people generally stayed away from “counter-revolutionaries” as if they were lepers, for fear of being labeled as “showing sympathy towards counter-revolutionary

39 During those days in China, completion of prison term did not necessarily

mean release from the prison; many who were released from prison were sent to Labor

Camps for continued reform.

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elements.” With the poor living condition in Shanghai at the time40, Sister Zhu’s home was already over-crowded with her husband, her daughter, son and daughter-in-law. In order to receive Sister Dong who had lost everything for the Lord, Sister Zhu managed to set aside a small space for her. Her hospitality for the ailing and elderly sister spanned over ten long years!

Dear brothers and sisters, have you ever received brothers and sisters? Have you received them for a week or two weeks? Receiving an elderly person means preparing her food, washing, mending and buying her clothes, taking her to the doctor when she is sick, attending to all her needs – the list goes on. The Bible tells us that love “suffers long” or, to be exact, “is long-suffering.” Sister Dong sacrificed herself for us and suffered for a long time; Sister Zhu who received her also suffered for 10 long years. To the world, they were “the filth of the world and the offscouring of all things. (I Cor. 4:13)” In the eyes of the Lord, however, such people are extremely precious, and their lives and services will last throughout eternity.

The testimonies of these sisters led me to reflect on the present state of churches in general. Today there are quite a number of well-known ministers serving grand churches as well as huge congregations with gifts of eloquence and knowledge; yet how common are acts of internal strife and discord, as well as power struggle for personal gain? There are those who acted in an underhand manner, who are proud and boastful or dogmatic, who devised their own schemes and ways to mistreat brothers and

40 For over 30 years (1949-1979), there was basically no housing construction

for the common people. Meantime, the population had increased two to three folds.

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sisters who disagree with them, who “developed” the church in a fashion that is worldly, carnal and self-centered. They do these without the fear of God and without committing themselves to the dealings and discipline of the Lord. How would they feel when they are faced with pure-hearted followers of Christ like the above-mentioned sisters?

When Jesus reappeared before His disciples after His resurrection from death, He asked Peter, “Do you love Me more than these?” “Do you love Me?” “Do you love Me?” (John 21:15-17). Perhaps one day when we appear before the Judgment Seat of Christ, the Lord will ask us, “Have you loved Me?” “In what ways have you loved Me?” Have we ever shed any tears for the Lord? Suffered for Him? If we haven’t, then we may be very poor when we see the Lord’s face. The Lord said to the angel of the church of the Laodiceans, “I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire,” “white garments” and “eye salve” (Rev. 3:18). With a humble and God-fearing heart, let us ask ourselves if we have ever “bought.” Have we ever paid a price? Oh, many Christians are living so comfortably in the Free World that they are unwilling to take up the cross to follow the Lord or to suffer! Would we be like the rich man “clothed in purple and fine linen and fared sumptuously every day” who one day found himself in torments in Hades only to be reminded by Abraham, “Son, remember in your lifetime you received your good things” (Luke 16:19, 25). Everyone who desires to live in a godly way has his daily cross (II Tim. 3:12; Luke 9:23), even though it may not be heavy. We have the opportunities daily to deny and sacrifice ourselves; for instance, in every word we say and in whatever we do, whether we are in the United States, China, Taiwan, or

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elsewhere. His grace is sufficient for us, and His mercies “are new every morning (Lam. 3:23).” Our God of love and wisdom purifies and edifies us as He transforms us to the image of His Son (Rom. 8:29).

A Brother Who Lived in the Heart of God

In 1989, in a section of a dilapidated house in Wuhan lived Brother Zhi-yi Lan who was released from the Labor Camp in Qinghai Province41. The furniture, old and worn out, comprised only a table, a chair and a bed. The other half of the house, rain-damaged because of roof-tile leaks, was left unused. On March 8th, returning home after preaching to some relatives, Brother Lan suddenly experienced heart discomfort. His neighbor took him to the Wuhan Hospital, where his son worked, for emergency care. Early the next morning, he rested in the Lord at age 81. Thank God that he passed away so serenely, without bothering anyone. It was indeed a great blessing.

I became acquainted with Brother Lan in the 1940’s. Prior to 1950, Brother Lan founded and operated an orphanage of small scale in Suzhou. In a society that was poor and at a time when most Christians were spiritually weak, the operation of the orphanage relied solely on the provision of the Heavenly Father rather than on the provision of men - the orphanage could be called a shining pearl of faith. In the circumstances following the change of political power in China, Brother Lan was compelled to close down the orphanage and to become a minister in the church in

41 This province is situated in the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau.

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Shanghai. (The Communist government in Mainland China did not allow the common people, especially Christians, to operate orphanages in order to prevent the so-called “seizing of the next generation”.)

In 1956, Brother Lan was arrested and sentenced to ten years for the Lord’s holy name. He was exiled to the Labor Camp in Qinghai Province and was there during the “Three-Year Natural Calamities” (1959-1961). The highest national mortality resulting from starvation occurred in Labor Camps, and there were many deaths in the Qinghai highlands where the temperature was as low as -30ºC in winter. There was a time when Brother Lan was assigned to manage the warehouse in which were stored many baskets filled with shelled peanuts. Brother Lan said that, even when many in the team were starving to death in the famine with he himself also fighting hunger all day long, he had never stealthily eaten a peanut. What an honest, righteous and faithful man he was!

Brothers and sisters, such a spirit of suffering willingly for the Lord is one of the virtues very much lacking in the Global Church, particularly in developed and affluent countries (see I Pet. 4:1,2). Actually, raw peanuts are edible, delicious and nutritious, and it was only reasonable for someone dying of hunger to eat the state-owned peanuts – for, after all, they were the harvest of the whole team’s hard labor. Perhaps this plum job of managing the warehouse was intentionally assigned to Brother Lan because of his past good deeds as an orphanage director!

After his release from the Labor Camp, he was dispatched to Wuhan where his son lived. There, he was assigned to clean street sewers, the filthiest and foulest job that pays barely enough

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for a living. In cities like Shanghai and Wuhan, old sewers were laid underground and had an opening with steel lid in the middle of the road. When sewers were clogged, the lid was lifted and a long split of bamboo splint was used to clear the pipes. During the process, the awful stink of accumulated foulness filled the air.

In sorting out her father’s possessions after his death, Brother Lan’s eldest daughter found a five-cent coin – all the money he possessed. When news of this was accidentally spread, all the brothers who heard it were stunned. The image of Brother Lan suddenly became loftier. Oh, he was a brother who truly lived up to “suffer the loss of all things and counted them but dung” and a saint who had truly sacrificed his all to follow the Lord! How could it be that only one coin was left behind? The brothers in Shanghai were especially taken by surprise. How could it be? For it was only in January that year that Brother Lan had remitted 100 yuan (or 1,000 cents), which amounted to one-and-a-half month’s pay of the general worker at the time, to a seventy-year-old disabled Sister Wang? At the time the brothers in Shanghai thought that Brother Lan was not short of money; otherwise why would he have remitted so much money to Shanghai! That was why they had left him out of the care-list when they distributed the Lord’s money. The brothers not only felt that they had fallen short but had guilty feelings!

Speaking of Sister Wang, one of her legs had been amputated at an early age and, as a result, she suffered great physical pain and inconveniences, especially on rainy days. She was also burdened with financial difficulty but seldom asked for help. She had time and again begged the Lord to receive her weary soul. When Sister Wang unexpectedly received the 100 yuan from

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Wuhan, it took her quite a while to figure out that it was remitted by Brother Lan under his daughter’s name.

This tiny coin had evoked many thoughts. It made one wonder how the faithful Lord had led Brother Lan through the most desolate times. How much could a street-sewer laborer earn each month? He lived in the provincial city of Wuhan and was not well-known in the church he had served. Even after the country opened to the world (in 1978), how many overseas Christians would, by common sense, have thought about him, sought him out and cared for him? It was true that the Heavenly Father who cared for every lily of the field and every bird of the air knew how to provide for his daily bread, but how could he have remitted 100 yuan without considering his own needs? Oh, he did not offer merely a tithe, or double tithes! He was a loyal servant in every sense of the word. Though he had little, only “two mites (Luke 21:2),” yet what he had belonged to God. He had given what God wanted him to give and had lived by God’s faithfulness, allowing Him to take charge of how much to leave for himself.

In the United States or in Taiwan, are there wealthy brothers and sisters who spend money lavishly while traveling or purchasing expensive clothes but who are reluctant to make a small offering for divine work and needy Christians? Allow me to be frank, it is impossible for such Christians to attain spiritual growth (Matt. 19:16-26; I John 3:16-18).

The New Testament does not stipulate the tithe amount but rather “God loves a cheerful giver” (II Cor. 9:6-9). In the presence of Corinthian Christians, Paul praised the Christians of Macedonia, “How that in a great trial of affliction the abundance of their joy and their deep poverty abounded unto the riches of

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their liberality. For to their power, I bear record, yea, and beyond their power they were willing of themselves. Paying us with much intreaty that we would receive the gift, and take upon us the fellowship of the ministering to the saints” (II Cor. 8:2-4). The Lord Jesus was rich but became poor for our sake. In other words, we were bought at a high price and everything we have belong to God (please read reverently I Kings Chapter 29, with emphasis on David’s excellent example in verses 14 and 16). We are merely stewards, and “it is required in stewards that one be found faithful (I Cor. 4:2).” Brother Lan was a faithful servant of the Lord.

That Brother Lan left behind only one coin when he passed away does not necessarily mean that every loyal servant has to leave behind so little. Everyone’s situation and God’s guidance differ, and even every country’s economic system differs. For instance, some may set aside reasonable amounts to “lay up … for the children” (II Cor. 12:14), as ants that save up their food in the summer (see Gen. 41:36; Prov. 30:25). Or, the Lord may guide differently. The basic principle is to love the Lord following Brother Lan’s example as a faithful steward with a clear conscience and a pure heart. Oh, those who shone during the trials in China were the ones who loved God at any cost!

Let me add a few more words here. The end-time is a time when “men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous ... lawlessness abound and the love of many will grow cold (II Tim. 3:2).” Mammon is becoming more and more powerful over many Christians, even taking the Lord’s place as their master! Faithful stewards are becoming fewer and fewer nowadays; even in the Old Testament times, there were not many who willingly offered their tithes. As the rapture and the return of the Lord draw near, may

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the Lord grant us abundant mercy and grace, so that we will watch and pray always rather than “heaping up treasure in the last days (James 5:3)” as we wait to meet the Lord. May He endow us with the wisdom and power of discernment as we learn to follow the Holy Spirit’s guidance in directing the money set aside for the most worthy and urgent divine work.

The Fragrance of Christ

In Wuhan Hospital there was a small room by the morgue for use by relatives of the deceased for memorial meetings. Hanging horizontally inside the room was a scroll bearing these words: “Meek, humble, godly, modest, gave up his all, held fast the truth.” They described the impression left of Brother Lan. In addition, two sentences were displayed, one on each side of the scroll: “finished the good race” and “fought the good fight.” These words formed his epitaph.

His firstborn spoke on behalf of his six children, “We regret to say that we didn’t care enough for our father. For not having fulfilled our filial duty, we’re burdened with a guilty conscience. However, our father had devoted all his energy, his mind and loving care to the orphans. We hardly experienced his fatherly love; in fact, we can’t even recall him ever hugging us.”

An elderly sister in the Lord stood up and said, “God is ‘a father of the fatherless (Psa. 68:5).’ Your father had accepted from the Lord the burden of caring for the orphans. Being faithful to the Lord, he had painstakingly cared for many helpless and unloved orphans, bringing them to the Lord. Who doesn’t love his own children? But the orphans needed love more than you did.

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Your father turned you over to the care of the Heavenly Father. Even though you were labeled by the Communists as “children of a counter-revolutionary” and, as such, had suffered much abuse and despise, haven’t you, by God’s wonderful hand, all graduated from universities? Perhaps no other family present can compare with you! Don’t you believe that’s due to the gracious hand of God?”

A brother in the Lord added, “I’m an orphan who was raised by Uncle Lan about 40 years ago. One time he took me along to Shanghai to purchase merchandise. It was daybreak when the train reached the Shanghai station. We entered a small noodle restaurant and ordered two bowls of noodles, one with soup only and the other with shredded pork and soup. He insisted that I take the bowl with pork while he took the other. For the past 40 years, he had loved us more than he loved himself. This is something we’ll never forget.”

A co-worker of the orphanage also spoke, “As the bird of the air that depends entirely on the Heavenly Father’s provision, our orphanage did not receive any fixed provision from any church or member. We frequently experienced the miraculous provision of our Heavenly Father who’s true and living, faithful and kind. I used to share a bed with Brother Lan, and in the winter we shared one quilted blanket. Whenever I went to bed before he did, I’d wake up to find him sleeping in his day clothes, leaving the whole blanket for me.”

Then, Brother Lan’s firstborn related two more incidents. The first incident occurred not long ago when he took his father to the hospital dormitory for a temporary stay because of necessary repair on Brother Lan’s leaky roof. Late one night, when Brother

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Lan returned to the dormitory after using the toilet, he found that the dormitory door was shut by the wind. Being thoughtful and careful not to wake up the workers in the dormitory, he sat alone in the work-station until daybreak. He was always more concerned for others than for himself. The second incident also occurred recently and was regarding Brother Lan’s youngest daughter-in-law. Not quite recovered from childbirth, she had to report for work after expiration of her childbirth vacation. Maintaining a “clear break”42 with her father-in-law who was a “counter-revolutionary,” she would not let him take care of her child but insisted on bringing her child to work. Even so, Brother Lan followed her at a distance for fear that she might collapse on her way to work. He followed her as she boarded and alighted from the bus. Only after making sure that she had safely arrived at her workplace did he return home. Later on, when she found out what he had been doing, she was both ashamed and touched.

Another co-worker also spoke. “When I first met Brother Lan, he was praying on his knees. I also knelt down beside him and prayed with him. Since then, whenever we met, we’d first pray on our knees before we talked. Brother Lan was a Christian who lived on his knees. That was the secret of his victory.”

Thanks to the wonderful Lord! Through the testimonies of this memorial service, the Holy Spirit did great works; the children who formerly did not believe Christ accepted Him and those who were already Christians were spiritually revived and became more zealous.

42 Communist policy demanded everyone to maintain a clear break with the

so-called “counter-revolutionary.”

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Some Christians compare “praying ceaselessly (I Thes. 5:17) to the breathing of a whale. The whale, a mammal, breathes with its lungs and floats to the water surface to inhale fresh air every few minutes, an act also known as “touching the sky.” Some Christians compare abiding in Christ to the two brass rods on top of a trackless trolley. They are continuously connected with the power source – God, the fountain of spiritual life and power. Some Christians compare abiding in Christ to being engaged on the phone with God, leaving the line of communication open during sleep and picking it up again the next morning after waking up to carry on with the worship, praise, prayer and fellowship. David, a man of God in the Old Testament, said in his psalm, “Blessed is the man whom You choose and cause to approach You, that he may dwell in your courts” (Psa. 95:4). All who believe and are born again are “in Christ.” However, we can easily neglect to “abide in Him.”

Satan cannot separate us from Christ (John 10:28-29) but can easily lure the branch away from the vine. Strictly speaking, such a departure from the vine is our failure. Satan does not necessarily make us sin explicitly in words or in acts; his goal is achieved as long as we give up “praying ceaselessly.” This is the core of spiritual warfare; it is a pity that we often neglect the one most needful thing (Luke 10:38-42). Brothers and sisters, this is the secret of building the house on the rock (Matt. 7:24-27) and of being cedars planted by the waters with roots spread by the river (Jer. 17:7-8; Num. 24:6; Psa. 1:3). This has been the secret to becoming triumphant Christians throughout the generations.

In recent years, a handful of overseas Christians are beginning to advocate, learn, and to teach and practice “abiding in

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Christ.” But he who truly abides in Christ is like Paul and Brother Lan – who always “triumph in Christ, and make manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place. For we are unto God a sweet savour of Christ, in them that are saved, and in them that perish” (II Cor. 2:14-15). Please note that the spreading of Christ’s fragrance involves the price of dying to oneself. In this regard, we thank our God! This is because such price can be paid through the unfathomable grace that can be drawn ceaselessly from His throne of grace. In other words, we cannot in any way afford to pay the price; the price is actually paid by the Lord Himself – how we should thank the Lord without ceasing!

Brother Lan’s testimony is a living example that is well worth our self-reflection, perusal, meditation and imitation (just as he had imitated and abided in Christ).

Another Testimony of Self-Sacrifice

Not long ago, a sister in the United States passed away with an impressive testimony as her legacy. Having exhausted western medicine resources for treatment of her terminal breast cancer, the American sister went to see a Chinese acupuncturist for pain relief. It was this acupuncturist, Sister Zhou, who told me about this testimony.

Before the American sister was diagnosed with breast cancer, her husband had already divorced her (in recent decades divorce was a common practice in the United States). After the divorce, the sister led a lonely, difficult and heartbroken life. Later, she found out she had cancer. Several years later, she learned that her ex-husband had become paralyzed with no one to care for him. While most people are not concerned about their

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divorced spouses who have ill-treated them, this sister understood the meaning of the cross, the seeking of God’s will, and the necessary cost of discipleship. She felt that she ought to take her ex-husband into her home to care for him. All her relatives and neighbors warned her, “Why would you do it? See how he has ill-treated you; does he deserve it from you?” The sister gave a very touching response, “Though he’s no longer my husband, he’s my brother still.” Thus, she cared for him until he died. By that time, her cancer condition had deteriorated to the point that the physicians had exhausted treatment for her. That was when she came to Dr. Zhou, a sister in Christ, for acupunctural pain-relief treatment. In a latter examination, Dr. Zhou found that her breast was so badly deformed it looked like a cauliflower. Her condition was terrible. Even so, every time she visited the acupuncture clinic, she always carried with her joy and gratitude, giving warmth to the other patients with her radiance of life in Christ. Though on the brink of death, she did not depend on herself to live, nor did she live by herself or for herself with self-love and self-pity. She lived before the Lord by His power of resurrection. Consequently, even in her great suffering, she was able to be joyful until the day she went to be with the Lord.

Love the Lord Above All Else

In our daily life, are we aware of the various forms of cross that the Lord has arranged for us? They may not be very heavy or huge. For instance: “Is it right or proper for me to say such words?;” “Will these words bring glory to God or not?;” “Will they edify brothers and sisters?;” or “Should I do this?;” “Should

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I purchase this?;” “Do I treasure and hold tightly the things of the world?;” “As far as earthly matters are concerned, am I worldly?;” “In dealing with money, am I a servant of Mammon?” This is by no means an insignificant issue.

During the “Elimination of the Counter-Revolutionary Movement” in China in 1956, we clearly noted that none of those who served Mammon, loved themselves and lived for themselves was able to withstand the trials. All of them, including quite a number of preachers, fell during the trials. If you are like them, then no matter how zealous you are in the church, how great your work is, how well you preach or how well-known you are, you are bound to fall on that day. As Jesus said, the only kind of person who can follow Him is: one who loves the Lord above all things and is willing to deny himself and sacrifice his all for the Lord (Luke 14:25-33). Only such a person can shine during fiery trials and be safeguarded and carried through by the Lord.

A well-known preacher in China once compromised with the power of darkness during the great trial. What was the reason? This was what he told me from his own lips,43 “I thought of my wife who’d been with me since the days of our youth. We complemented each other, served together and had a loving relationship. Who’d care for her if I were imprisoned? Besides, as the only son-in-law of my wife’s aging mother, I also worried that she’d die sorrowfully if I were imprisoned. Haunted by such concerns, my heart simply melted; I fell and even denied the Lord.” The fall lasted for a length of eight years. He added,

43 In 1979, we left the Labor Camp successively. He, too, took up residence

in Shanghai. For almost a year, I visited him and his wife twice a week.

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“Nevertheless, I’m Peter, not Judas.” Thank God for giving him the strength to repent (Acts 5:31; Lam. 5:21), confess and return to Him.

Such realities of life show us that we cannot be followers of the Lord if we do not love Him more than our parents, our spouses, our children and even our own lives. All is well in quiet and peaceful times; but as soon as trials hit, all is exposed. Therefore, we need to seriously search our hearts before the Lord to see if we can truly declare, “Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire beside You” (Psa. 73:25). Can the Lord testify that my heart has arrived at that state? May the Lord show us His deep grace and mercy.

None other than The Lord is the most lovable. God has loved us without any reservation; He has loved us as He has loved our Lord Jesus (John 17:23b). This is clearly demonstrated by His giving us freely His only Son, as well as all things together with His Son Jesus our Lord (Rom. 8:32). Moreover, God Himself abides in us through the Holy Spirit. The Lord Jesus has loved us so much – He descended to this humble world of indescribable darkness. The Bible says, “the light shines in darkness; and the darkness comprehends it not” (John 1:5.). It was for our sake that he experienced all kinds of human suffering and was at last crucified on the cursed Cross in Calvary, receiving the judgment of the holy and righteous God. Actually, the Lord has the right to demand our whole-hearted love for Him. We, however, love Him halfheartedly, or love ourselves first. We are told in chapter 3 of II Timothy, “in the last days, perilous days will come.” In the original text, the word “love” was used four times: love of oneself, love of money, love of pleasure, rather than love of God.

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Lawlessness will abound and the love of many will grow cold. In time, people will love only themselves. Look around us and at ourselves; aren’t we like that too? Do we love ourselves, money and pleasure rather than love God? If we do, then we shall be in a most pitiful state when we appear before the Judgment Seat of Jesus Christ. Our knowledge, eloquence and good sermons will all be wood, hay and straw that will be reduced to futile ashes.

May the Lord’s mercy be on us. If we do not presently love the Lord above all things, may He encourage and constrain us with His love (II Cor. 5:14), so that we may dedicate ourselves to Him and, by His work of grace, love Him above all else.

EPILOGUE

In closing, let me add a few points: The Bible tells us that the glorious and almighty God

“works all things after the counsel of His own will;” “and He does according to His will in the army of heaven, and among the inhabitants of the earth; and none can stay His hand, or say to Him, What have You done?” “the Most High ruled in the kingdom of men, and that He appoints over it whomsoever He will” (Eph. 1:11; Dan. 4:35, 5:21). We also firmly believe that God’s “word is settled in heaven” and that “His kingdom rules over all” (Psa. 119:89; 103:19). His promises never fail, and His will shall ultimately be done. He promised Abraham, “…in your seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed” (Gen. 22:18). He also commanded the disciples, “Go therefore and teach all nations…” (Matt. 28:19). For thousands of years, the development of human history has continuously fulfilled God’s will and promises.

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Universally and over the past and present times, countless Christians of all nations have been blessed to become The Lord’s disciples.

China’s trial of over 40 years was an extremely crucial event of the 20th Century. It took place in a vast continent occupied by no less than one-forth of the world population. Here, Satan, the ruler of the world, blatantly persecuted God’s children and tried to destroy the testimonies of our Lord Jesus Christ. He further destroyed this world as he did in Noah’s time (Matt. 24:37; Gen. 6:5).

Generally speaking, the fiery trial has revealed four types of people:

Firstly, God revealed the ones in His Church who were mature and magnified Christ in their bodies, whether by life or by death (Phil. 1:20). Some of them have died as martyrs and have set good examples for us. They provide us with a configuration of works of gold, silver and precious stone. We see their shining example of following the Lamb wherever He went.

Secondly, through afflictions, discipline and chastening, God has accelerated the maturity of a group of witnesses who spread the gospel to the end of the earth and prepare for the rapture and the Lord’s return (Matt. 24:40-44; Luke 17:34, 35).

Thirdly, with regard to the iniquities, corruptions and backsliding within the Church, God carried out judgment, rescue and restoration.

Fourthly, through afflictions, the Holy Spirit prepared and guided those whom God had predestined

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before the creation of the world to be saved by the only God.“For You, oh God, have proved us; You have tried us, as

silver is tried. You brought us into the net; You laid affliction upon our loins. You have caused men to ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water; but You brought us out into a wealthy place” (Psa. 66:10-12). Through the long period of agonizing trials, God has opened our eyes to the path of life, bringing many brothers and sisters to maturity and to be His useful instruments. This accounted for the explosion of gospel work in China over the past couple of decades. For over 100 years prior to this (from the start of evangelical pioneering in 1865 to the year 1949), the number of Christians resulting from the preaching of God’s servants in China (including God’s greatly used servant Hudson Taylor who established China Inland Mission), amounted to 700,000. (In 1950, more than 300,000 registered to join the “Three-Self” Church.) Within merely 10 years or so since China opened to the outside world in 1978, the number of Christians increased to 60-70 million (estimated figure, not proven exact), which is almost 100 times of that a century ago44. This is a clear indication that the kingdom of God is expanding in accordance with His will and promise at a speed faster than ever before. That one prayer of the Church throughout the ages – “Our Father who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven” (Matt. 6:9,10) – is becoming a reality at an accelerated speed.

44 From the time this book was first published in 1997 up to 2005, the

estimated figure has risen to around 100 million.

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The Tiananmen Square Incident of June 4th, 1989 in China shocked the whole world. It has also awakened many Chinese intellectuals as well as cadres of all ranks, who sought refuge in the name of Jesus Christ. The name of God was highly exalted and His glory manifested. The bitterness of winter only helped the killing of more pests, deepening the tree’s roots and adding more and denser annual-rings to its trunk in preparation for more fruits in the spring. Satan may be fierce, but God is forever victorious. God says, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts” (Isa. 55:9). Let us worship Him in spirit and in truth.

The world history is developing at a faster pace. In the past we used to say, “The wheel of history is rolling forward”; now at these end-times, we say, “History is like a soaring eagle with wings spread!” It was God’s ruling hand that used Gorbachev45 to strikingly shatter the Soviet Union, the over 70-year-old massive figure that had killed and exiled countless Christians. God, too, was behind the Berlin Wall46 that collapsed in just an instant. After the removal of barriers and iron-gates that prevented the spread of gospel, gospel workers rapidly swarmed in. Like the downpour of rain after a long drought, the radio network covered the whole

45 Gorbachev, Mikhail S. – leader of the USSR (Union of Soviet Socialist

Republics) from 1985 to 1991. He was the key figure in the liberalization and

subsequent disintegration of Soviet and Eastern European Communism.

46 Built in 1961, the Berlin Wall was a fortified wall surrounding West

Berlin. It was maintained by the former German Democratic Republic (GDR),

commonly known as East Germany. It was torn down in 1980 when East Germany

reunited with West Germany as one nation.

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world; and churches sprang up with rapid increase of believers, like bamboo shoots after the spring rain. Meanwhile, happenings such as famines in Africa, the outbreaks of wars, conflicts, riots and terrorism in various parts of the world, together with moral and economic decline in the United States and other affluent countries, are all “for to do whatsoever Your hand and Your counsel determined before to be done (Acts 4:28).”. Concealed in the world trends of history is always an aspect pertaining to the kingdom of God - though most people fail to apprehend the spiritual world. Actually, “The Lord sat enthroned at the flood, and the Lord sits as King forever” (Psa. 29:10). Hallelujah!

Brothers and sisters, when will the number of people to be saved be fulfilled (Rom 11:26)? Are you and I prepared? As prophesized, “prepare to meet your God!” (Amos 4:12). How can we neglect or ignore the amazing and awesome works of God in China as well as the very costly testimonies of those godly Chinese brothers and sisters! Now that the hour of the glorious rapture is imminent, let us together turn to and look up to the God of grace and mercy. May He alert and draw each of us to Him, so that we shall be like Paul, seizing every moment and opportunity to “follow after …toward the goal, forgetting these things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal” (Phil. 3:12,13,14). Let us prepare daily for the rapture and the return of the Lord (Matt. 24:32-44).

Brother Lawrence said it well, “If I do not love the Lord today, then I have lost this day forever.”

Let Us Pray:

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Our Heavenly Father, the great and awesome true God: We lay all these words under the precious blood of Your

Son Jesus Christ - may you cleanse them with the blood. Lord, if You will, please bless these words, that each of us brothers and sisters may truly know how to follow You, knowing that one day we shall all stand before You. May the way we live and serve today be able to withstand the fire on that day. May You be able to say to us, “You, my good and faithful servant, you may enter and feast with Me as the five wise virgins do.”

Oh Lord! We pray that you deliver us from all vanities and all sins. Deliver us also from the love of the world and of ourselves. May we truly be blessed with Your grace so that in these end-times – the most trying time – we may have a heart that loves you. May we wholly love You, serve You and follow You; and may Your name be glorified.

We pray in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen!

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