Oatmeal the My Dog the Paradox

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My Dog:

The Paradox


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Introduction

Every pet is a tiny tragedy waiting to happen.

George Carlin

Several years ago, I adopted a small bearlike creature and named him Rambo. This

lovable, impulsive animal soon became quite precious to me, and I got to work right

away on convincing myself that he was immortal and would live for many thousands of

years. I couldnt stand the idea that my dog had an expiration date that was roughly the

equivalent of three and a half presidential terms.

It just occurred to me that my dog has no idea what my name is, a friend once told me.

I thought about this for weeks. A dog is mans best friend, but what is man to a dog?

What does he think of me, this towering apelike mammal who showers him with snacks,

massages, and love? Are our feelings mutual? Does he like me as much as I like him? I

tried asking him once and he responded by licking his balls.

My dog is not afraid of grizzly bears, but the vacuum scares the crap out of him. He

wont eat broccoli, but hell happily feast on dried cat turds. He trembles in fear if he

sees me holding a bottle of dog shampoo, but hed fearlessly sprint across the freeway ifthere was a squirrel on the other side.

These thoughts all culminated into My Dog: The Paradox, and they lived in my

notebook for several years as a jumbled collection of ideas and scribbles about mans

best friend. I originally wrote this comic as a funny look at the illogical fears of dogs, but

it ended up becoming a meditation on their reckless, impulsive, and completely lovable

mortality.

This book is dedicated to all the dogs Ive owned (or lived with), including Rambo,

Beatrix, Arnold, Teddy, Nanuk, Donald, Bubba, Rosie, Lori, Chip, Barbara Walters, and

Coconut.

But mostly, its dedicated to Rambo.


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My Dog: The Paradox copyright 2013 by Oatmeal, LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this

book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission

except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews.

Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC

an Andrews McMeel Universal company

1130 Walnut Street, Kansas City, Missouri 64106

www.andrewsmcmeel.com

ISBN: 978-1-4494-3771-8

ATTENTION: SCHOOLS AND BUSINESSES

Andrews McMeel books are available at quantity discounts with bulk purchase for

educational, business, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail the Andrew

McMeel Publishing Special Sales Department: [email protected]
mailto:specialsales%40amuniversal.comhttp://www.andrewsmcmeel.com/


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MATTHEW INMAN is the author and artist behind the one-man comedy operation

known as The Oatmeal. Matthew lives in Seattle, Washington, with his dogs,

Rambo and Beatrix. He enjoys sushi, snowboarding, and drawing overweight

mammals.


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Oatmeal the My Dog the Paradox

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