Nurture North/West

AUGUST 2010 NORTH/WEST EDITION nurture | 1MPR:QUVNTH

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1 | nurture MAY 2010 SOUTH EDITION nurture.com.au

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2 | nurture AUGUST 2010 NORTH/WEST EDITION

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WELCOME! Here atLeader we are proud toannounce the arrival of ournew baby Nurture.

Forget celebrity mumswith teams of nannies andstylists, Nurture will focus onreal-life mums and dads inMelbournes suburbs.

We have designed Nurtureto be compact, easy to read and visuallyappealing and its free.

The editorial team behind Nurture are allparents with young children and we understandthe issues that matter when it comes tonavigating the weird and wonderful world that isparenting. Our expert journalists will explore thetough issues, but well focus on the fun stuff too.

This month we examine the best childcareoptions for families including the growing trendto set up nanny jobshare arrangements, talkto a psychologist about dealing with problembehaviour in children and look at the cars mumslove to drive.

There are also recipes for babies andmelbourneplaygrounds.com.au help us revealsome of the best playgrounds in your patch.

Each month well also feature a sectionfocusing on dads and how they cope with familylife and talk with mums whove started their ownsuccessful businesses using ideas borne out ofhaving children.

Experts from the Maternal and Child HealthLine will answer curly parenting questions andyou can use our family-friendly events guide toplan fun things to do each month.

Our aim is to make Nurture the essentialguide for Melbourne parents and wed love toget your feedback on our new baby.

Visit nurture.com.au to see where you canpick up your copy and tell us what you think.And while youre there, dont forget to enter ourfabulous competition to win a $9500 Fiji holidayfor a family of four.

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Reporter Laeta Antonysen and herhubby Dean got a shock when theydiscovered they were expectingtwins. With a toddler and a pre-schooler at home already, they knewthey were in for a major adjustment.This month Laeta tells how shecopes with her beloved big family.

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6 CHILDCARE CHOICESWhat type of childcare is best for you?

8 PLAYING AROUNDThe top 10 playgrounds in your patch

10 CHILD PSYCHOLOGYParents at their wits end are paying experts for help

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in care

Leaving your child in care can be very difficult so its importantto choose the style of childcare that best suits your family

DID YOU KNOW There are 923 long daycare centres across Melbourne

glanceChildcare at aWhile the debate continues torage over the pros and cons offormal childcare, many workingparents simply have no choice when itcomes to caring for their children.

According to the Federal Government,more than 870,000 children from birth tove years now use approved childcare inAustralia.

But parents exploring childcareoptions for the rst time often nd thatchoosing the right type of care can be achallenge.

According to Roxanne Elliott,founder of careforkids.

com.au, navigating thechildcare maze can

be confusing andoverwhelming,particularly for rst-time parentswho may alreadybe anxious aboutleaving their child

in care.Ms Elliott says

she was motivatedto launch her website

to help parents after ndingit incredibly difcult to ndsuitable care for her daughter

back in 2003.Affordability and availability

were the big issues for me and,unfortunately, seven years down the

track, I think we are still grappling withthose same issues, she says.Another potential complication for

parents is the rising cost of formal care.The childcare industry is facing

major regulatory reforms which centreoperators say will increase costs andeven force some families out of thesystem.

Frank Cusmano, chief executive ofthe Child Care Centres Associationof Victoria, says the changes includeboosting child-staff ratios and requiringcarers to hold a minimum Certicate III inChildcare, a TAFE quali cation.

Each centre will also have to employ aqualied kindergarten teacher by 2014.

Quite clearly centres will have toincrease their workforces which willincrease the cost of delivering care, MrCusmano says.Our concern has alwaysbeen that if you increase the cost of theservice you are harming the very familiesyou are trying to help.

Mr Cusmano says governmentestimates indicate it will cost up to $13extra per child a day to implement thefull raft of changes, but the associationbelieves the gure is more likely to be ashigh as $39, which will make childcaretoo expensive for some working families.

The association wants the means-tested Child Care Benet doubled fromthe current $3.60 an hour fee discountand the Child Care Rebate, which coversup to 50 per cent of out-of-pocketchildcare expenses up to $7500, paidweekly instead of every three months.

The concern in the sector is whetherthese changes needed to be made and, ifso, they should have been appropriatelyfunded (by government) and theyre not,Mr Cusmano says.

Ms Elliott also questions the push forreforms, saying a survey by careforkids.com.au of 2000 Australian parentsrevealed that 75 per cent were happywith the quality of childcare.

While long day care is still the mostpopular option for most working parents,Ms Elliott says some families are nowmore inclined to create their ownchildcare solutions.

People are getting in to a nanny sharesituation where they are sharing a nannywith a friend. Children from both familiesusually gather at the one house and thenanny looks after them all to make itcost-effective.

By choosing a nanny who isgovernment accredited, parents areeligible for childcare rebates.

It really depends on your budget andthe child themselves some childrendevelop and grow really well in a long

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in care

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CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: Children build strong bonds in family daycare; Nanny share is becoming a new choice for families; James, 4, serves up a cuppa to Benjamin, 2, at Future Kids Child Care Point Cook. Picture: Glenn Daniels.

Choose a centre where the atmosphere is relaxed and happy.Make sure you feel welcome and staff seem interested in your child. Its good to hear laughter and the sounds of children playing. Check if the reception area is tidy and rooms wellorganised.

A centre should feel safe and secure. Did a centre employeegreet you and sign you in?

Check if there are proceduresin place to document accidents.Ask if there is a sun protection policy and inspect the rooms where children sleep and nappy changing stations for cleanliness.

Centres should have operating policies and procedures that are communicated to you. Ask how you will receive feedback about your childs day and check if

there are regular newsletters to keep you informed about whats going on in the centre.

Ask about child to carer ratios at the centre and staff turnover.Its also good to check how staff deal with behavioural issues and whether children are supervised when they go to the toilet.

Ask about the type of food served at the centre and if water is readily available. Is there a weekly menu on display and does it look interesting and varied?

Make sure there is plenty ofspace for children to play and an outdoor area with shade.Ask about the frequency ofstructured activities such as painting, water play, collage making and playing in a sand pit.Are children allowed to watch TVand, if so, how often and what sorts of programs?

CHILDCARE CHECKLIST

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daycare situation but others may bebetter off in a home-based environment,such as family daycare or a nanny, MsElliott says.

Here Ms Elliott outlines the mostpopular childcare options for families:LONG DAYCARECentre-based long daycare is the mostpopular type of formal childcare.

Childcare centres provide regularfull-time or part-time care and may berun by private operators, local councils ornon-prot organisations. Centres usuallyopen from 7am to 6pm weekdays andcater for children from birth to ve years.

Costs vary depending on whereyou live, how much care you need andwhether the centre provides essentialssuch as nappies and food.

Some centres charge less for shorterdays but others may charge a at dailyrate regardless of how many hours yourchild attends.

The Federal Governments ChildCare Benets are available for eligiblefamilies using approved centres, whichare regulated and must meet certainstandards.

There can be long waiting lists forpopular centres, or centres in high-demand areas such as inner citysuburbs. Put your name down on waitinglists before you need care and try to havea few options.FAMILY DAYCAREFamily daycare is probably the mostaffordable option with childcare providedin private homes, usually by women withtheir own children.

A key difference between family daycare and childcare centres is the very lowchild to carer ratios (usually a maximumof four or ve children with age limits),which allow carers and children todevelop strong bonds.

Most services are run by local councilswhich support carers with training andregular visits to ensure governmentstandards are met.

Fees range from $4.50 to $7.50 anhour and parents are eligible for the Child

Care Benet and tax rebateif using approved carers. There aremore than 12,000 carers and 100,000children in family day care in Australia.Check with your local council for detailsof services in your area.OCCASIONAL CAREOccasional care is short periods of carefor children under school age. Familiescan access occasional care on a regularor casual basis. It can be a good optionfor shift or part-time workers and is alsohandy for respite care, or to do shoppingor attend appointments. Check with yourlocal council for details of local services.PRE-SCHOOL OR KINDERGARTENPre-school (also called kindergarten)is a planned educational program forchildren aged three to ve in the lead upto school. Four-year-old kindergartenprograms in Victoria are governmentsubsidised and run by councils, usuallyfor around 10 hours minimum a week,either through two long or three shortsessions. The Federal Government hasnow ruled that by 2013 all four-year-oldsshould get 15 hours of kinder a week theyear before they are due to start school.Early childhood experts recommendfour-year-old kinder for all children tohelp prepare them for the challenges offormal schooling.NANNIESA nanny is employed on a live-in orlive-out basis and duties are generallyrestricted to childcare and relateddomestic tasks. Nanny share involvesthe nanny working for two families eitherat different times or caring for both setsof children at the same time. Nanniesprovide consistent care with individualattention for your child. Hours areexible, depending on your agreementand children can stay in their own familiarenvironment. You will need back-up careif the nanny is ill or takes leave. Thereare nanny agencies or you can advertiseyourself. Costs vary but generally rangefrom $10-$25 an hour live-in to $14-$35an hour live-out (plus agency fees whereapplicable). Government rebates apply ifthe nanny is accredited.

More than 870,000children frombirth to fi ve yearsnow use approvedchildcare inAustralia


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PRESIDENTSLAKE PARKMcGrath Rd,Wyndham Vale(Melway 205 C4)Fantastic adventure playground includingwave slides, climbing walls, chain bridges,stepping stones, tunnels, ladders, largebeetle springer, music-making activities,balance beams, ride-on tyre bull, woodentrain, large cubby house and swings.Barbecues, sheltered tables, toilets and awater tap.

GALAXY LANDBelleview Drive,Sunbury (Melway 382C8) Huge playgroundwith vast array of colourful equipment.

Theres a toddlers area plus medium andhigher ramp structures. Heaps of ramps, slides, tunnels, panels, climbing mats,remans poles, walkways and barbecues.

NAVAN PARKADVENTUREPLAYGROUNDCentenary Ave,Melton (Melway 336H5) The biggest structure has the bowof a ship with panels and a ramp, tunnelslide, scrambling wall, high balancebeam, bridge, monkey rungs, ying foxand climbing wall. Another structure hasa tunnel and wave slide, steps, walkway,bridges, spiral ladder, climbing mat andremans pole. There is a toddler areawith a shop front plus a large sandpit with

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Kaitlyn, 4, on the swings at Presidents Lake Park.

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parksa castle and lots of equipment. Shelterwith barbecue, table and toilets.

MALAHANGRESERVEcnr Oriel andSouthern roads,Heidelberg West(Melway 19 F12) Malahang Reserve hasa great range of equipment across a largearea including a new skate park and BMXtrack. Includes huge double pyramid ropeclimbing frame, swinging basket, familyseesaw, small slides, springers, hugestructure with a paddle steamer theme,spinning cup, stand-on spinners andswings. There is a separate structure fortoddlers. Shelter with barbecues, tablesand toilets.

TENTERFIELDPARKTenterfi eld Drive,Burnside Heights(Melway 13 B9)A super playground set next to a lakewith a town theme. Features a big rampwith fun panels, tunnel and curved slides,cubby, spiral ladder, climbing wall, abacus,tic-tac-toe, music instruments, stairs anda wave slide. Also bird houses, seesaw, stand-on spinner, swings, woodencarvings of vehicles and cups to sit in andspin. Shelter with table, unshaded seats,barbecues and water tap.

VICTORY PARKLangs Rd, Ascot Vale(Melway 28 F11)Huge woodenadventure playgroundwith an array of slides and walkways,multiple towers, sandpit, bronco tyre andsuspended platform rides, monkey bars,ying foxes and swings. Mostly fenced.Barbecues, unshaded tables and watertap. Toilets and kiosk available next doorat the tness centre.

HANNAH WATTSPARKHigh St, Melton(Melway 337 D9)Spiral, straight andwave slides, walkways, steps, ladder, ropeclimbing wall, spinners, swing, abacus,telescope, panels with Old Mill theme,shop front and remans pole. Thereis also another play area nearby. Largeshelter with barbecue, tables and toilets.

BRAYBROOK PARKChurchill Ave,Braybrook (Melway41 C1) Huge woodenaeroplane completewith fuselage, wings,propellers, cockpit and tail. Has walkways,tunnels, curved ladders, wave, spiral andsteep straight slides, musical equipment,chain ladders, scrambling wall, swings,

springers, and wooden crocodile.Barbecues and unshaded tables.

MARIBYRNONGPARKThe Boulevard,Moonee Ponds(Melway28 D8)This adventure playground overlooks theMaribyrnong River. The main structurehas shade sails and features dual waveslides, climbing wall and net, cubby,monkey bars, ying fox, steering wheelsand equipment to make sounds. Theresalso a rocking boat, seesaw, horizontalbars, stand-on spinner and swings. Ahighlight is an interactive sculpture area.Water tap, seats and a caf nearby.

PACKARD PARKTaylors Rd, KeilorDowns (Melway 14 A8)Nicely landscapedplayground with afunky modern climbing frame with slideand another structure with curved slide,shop front, ladder with square rungs,steps, abacus, climbing mat, clock, tic-tac-toe, block steps and chain traverse.Family seesaw, wooden statues, springer,wooden bridge and swings. Shaded andunshaded seats. Barbecues, table andtap.

Alexis, 3, playing with her dad Sam in Navan Park Melton.

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Playgrounds nominated bymelbourneplaygrounds.com.au


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psychology

zoneWhen homes a battleChild psychology is becoming increasingly

popular as parents struggle to deal without-of-control kids

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When psychologist Dr Grace Couchman rst met mother-of-two Penny(not her real name) she was struggling to cope with behaviour problems in her four-year-old and feeling increasingly hopeless as a mother.

Dr Couchman, co-ordinator of Monash Universitys Clinical

Psychology Centre, says Penny sought help at the Notting Hill centre for escalating daily battles with her pre-schooler who refused to co-operate with even basic tasks such as eating and going to bed.

Penny was feeling increasingly angry and

frustrated and worried about how much she was yelling and being punitive and none of it was working.

Her husband was often away for extended periods for work and she was left with the task of parenting alone for much of the time.

As a child Penny had experienced a difcult relationship with her mother and she now lacked condence in her own ability to loveand nurture her children.

The more inadequate she felt,the more inconsistent she became when dealing with her difcult but normal four-year-old.

Penny would say no then feel guilty and backtrack. Her child was

getting mixed messages, which only added to his testing behaviour.

As he reacted against her, Penny started thinking this is my fault,Im a terrible mother.

A vicious and damaging cycle had set in.

Dr Couchman says Pennys caseis fairly typical of about one third ofparents who seek counselling at the centre.

Ive rarely met a parent who doesnt feel theyre not at fault for their childs behaviour, she says.

A lot of referrals are people saying theyre not sure if anything is wrong and needing reassurance that their difculties are just things that every family has tolearn to handle. Good parents can get dragged down by a lack ofcondence, particularly if they had difcult childhoods themselvesand are worrying about making the same mistakes.

Parents will often say Im not going to be like my parents but that can leave them really under-assertive.

You need to be consistent and rm and not take things personally.You have to remember that children


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Hume Anglican GrammarA Co-educational Anglican Community School

Sunbury Campus, Circular Drive, Sunbury 3429.Contact Registrar: Mrs Dawn Gordon on 9305 7900

to book a tour or for further information

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Relocating in 2011 to new permanent siteat Mt Ridley Homestead

Hume Anglican Grammar is a community school established to provide additional choice for quality independent educationin Craigieburn and regional communities.The School commenced in 2008 and is growing rapidly with over 300 students this year. In 2011 we will continue to grow with classes from Prep to VCE. The School will grow to provide all classes Prep to Year 12 by 2012. Initially located on the St Peters Anglican Church site in Craigieburn, the school has relocated to Victoria University Sunbury for 2010 pending construction of our new permanent site at Mt Ridley. DISTINCTIVES Affordable fees with concessions to second and subsequent children. Base fee around

$700 per term. Dedicated, highly qualifi ed staff - each teacher is committed to the Christian ethos of

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Curriculum at all levels informed by the Victorian Essential Learning Standards (VELS). A broad and comprehensive Primary Years Program, strong in literacy, numeracy and

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Strong Middle Years Secondary Program designed for the needs of the emerging adult.

VCE Years Program providing appropriate pathways for Yr 11-12 students and their individual skills and achievements (VCE and VCAL)

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Scholarships available Before and aftercare program

psychologyare not little adults and have a very different way of thinking.

Dr Couchman says the key is to be assertive but not aggressive.

A parents response can sometimes make little problems worse and you can get into a habit where you perpetuate the problem, she says.

Sometimes children are just different from their parents you might have a very extroverted child and a shy, quiet mother and that creates a bit of a mismatch so theyre both looking at each other and saying: Whats wrong with you? Counselling can teach parents how to adjust and accept their childs style.

Penny was able to turn the tables with her son through short-term counselling including some one-on-one to deal with her grief over her own upbringing, learning some basic strategies for being assertive, talking to her husband about getting more support and taking a much needed holiday with her family.

Dr Couchman says its also important to trust your own instincts when problems arise and seek help if youre struggling.

Parents having problems get a lot of advice and its not always helpful,

but you can really bene t from sitting back and taking support from people who are constructive, she says.

Sometimes parents can trust themselves a lot more than they think and its important to tap into your own instincts and feelings.

Ask yourself: How do I want to be with my child? And dont let fear and anxiety get in the way.

Dr Couchman says both parents should be on the same wavelength when it comes to dealing with problem behaviour. She says it can be dif cult for fathers who are not primary carersbecause a child will exhibit problems to the person they feel closest to and its usually mum.

Men often say its not really a problem because they dont see it,she says. But, unless its dealt with, a child with difcult behavioural issues can cause problems in the parentsrelationship.For details about Monash Universitys Clinical Psychology Centre see cpc.monash.org or phone 9501 2428.

Ive rarely met a parent who doesnt feel theyre not at fault for their childs behaviour.

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Childrens clothing designer andmum-of-four Kristine Lempriereadmits running her own businessis very much a second priority to caringfor her young family.

But that hasnt stopped thisenterprising Malvern mum from turningher love of sewing into a successfulonline business with a six- gure annualturnover.

Kristine gave up a high-poweredmarketing career to pursue her passionand create townmouse.com.au, anupmarket online childrens clothing store.

With a name inspired by BeatrixPotters genteel Johnny Townmouse,Kristines home-based business startedafter she enrolled in an RMIT fashioncourse in 2000, the year her rst son Maxwas born.

Finding the right work-and-familybalance started early when Max, nownine, used to snooze through Mumsclasses in a baby sling.

Three more childrenlater and both familyand business arethriving.

I describe it as ahobby that makesmoney, Kristine says.

My motivation is toput my energy into somethingthats stimulating and enjoyable.

Im a bit of a night owl and I often domy best designs at one in the morning.

But, apart from the design work, thejob has other demands, includingmanaging seamstresses, dealing with anoffshore manufacturer, sourcing fabrics,handling payments and posting orders.

Kristines all-natural range includes hersignature baby bodysuit, personalisedcrche bags and cashmere winter coatswith prices from $25 to $180.

So how do you juggle a large youngfamily and a demanding business with aloyal following of 3000 customers?

I have very dened work and familytime and when the children are aroundI dont work, Kristine says.It would benear impossible if I didnt love it but myfree time goes into the business becauseI enjoy it.

Over the years Kristine has usedchildcare a couple of days a week andrelied on help from her mother Carolyn,who has enjoyed time caring for Max,Tom, 8, Henry, 5, and baby Adelaide, 1.

Kristine, whose husband William

is involved in wool exporting andprocessing, now employs a nanny ninehours a week for Adelaide.

Shes also pulled back on thebusiness since Adelaides birth andbelieves shes striking a better work-lifebalance.

Comparing it with my old job I usethe analogy that it was like swimmingupstream and as soon as I changed it waslike turning around and swimming withthe current, Kristine says.

Kristine Lempriere turned a love of sewinginto a successful online business

Clothing designer Kristine Lempriere with her youngest child Adelaide, 1.

Creative movemums at work


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cover story

Four children under four. Its enoughto strike fear into many parentshearts. Mine included.Twelve weeks into my third pregnancy,

my familys lives changed forever.Our scan showed two babies. Twins.

Intense shock set in. Fear even.It wasnt part of the plan, as sel sh as

that sounds. How could we afford fourchildren? Where would they sleep? Andjust as crucial, would my husband and Iever sleep again?

Id love to say that joy soon replacedthe shock, but it was a long timebefore we came to terms with our newcircumstances.

Everybody else, however, wasextremely excited for us. And whywouldnt they be they could love themand leave them.

After nding out we were having boys(I needed to prepare myself), our rstmission was convincing our three-year-old daughter Eboni and 18-month-old sonRiley that sisters were over-rated.

Next on the check-list was the need toupgrade our car. No sexy, sporty numberfor us no, a people mover became ournew black. We also had to fast-track Rileyout of his cot and into a bed in Ebonisroom, double up on baby essentialsand prepare ourselves mentally for thechallenge ahead.

But when our sons Kalan and Jordanwere born in February all of our fears,doubts and concerns dissipatedimmediately. They were perfect.Two forthe price of one, we joked. How luckywere we?

Coming home was a shock to thesystem as the days and nights blurredinto a tiring cycle of feed, play and sleep.

Consider these daily stats: up to 24nappies (including six for our toddler); atleast one load of washing; 16 breastfeedsand 16 supplementary formula bottleswashed, sterilised and made up; and, ofcourse, endless cuddles.

With each feed taking 1 hoursinitially, I had just 1 hours betweenfeeds to eat, sleep, shower and survive.

But as tiring and all-time consumingas it was, not only did I survive, I feltincredibly empowered.

As a self-confessed control freak Iwas in my element, operating on autopilot, managing to not only get out of mypyjamas by lunchtime, but also maintaina reasonably clean and orderly house.

I couldnt have done it without the helpand support of my family and friendswho ensured I had a freezer full of pre-prepared meals, endless play dates forEboni and Riley and help with the babies.

I also employed a fortnightly

housecleaner for the rst time in mylife and took up any other offers of helpextended to me.

Planning ahead was the key to mysurvival with something as simple asa trip to the shops requiring militaryprecision. Not only did it have to t inbetween feed times, I also had to factor inan extra 20 minutes for the mostly well-meaning comments from passersby.

No, theyre not identical and Yes, it isbusy with four kids became my standardresponses.

Multi-tasking also proved a must, as didestablishing a routine early for the twins.And I quickly learnt to survive on littlesleep, snatching catnaps when and whereever possible.

Fortunately Eboni and Riley adjusted toand accepted their new brothers quickly,proving invaluable in entertaining thebabies and, in the process, entertainingthemselves.

Coping with a newbornis hard enough for mostnew parents, but howdo you handle fourkids under four? LaetaAntonysen reports

While ensuring each child gets the one-on-one time they deserve and stretchingthe budget are ongoing challenges, wewouldnt swap our lives for anything.

Yes it is hard and yes it is tiring, but yes,it is worth it.

Recipients of Family Tax Benefi tsmay qualify for a large familysupplement, while parents oftriplets or more may receive amultiple birth allowance.Go to centrelink.gov.au

Some parents with hardshipsmay also qualify for a government-funded nanny for up to 13 weeks.

Families of multiple babies canalso contact the Multiple BirthAssociation for help and support. Go to amba.org.au

HELP!

Laeta Antonysen with Eboni and Riley, and

twins Kalan and Jordan.actJuggling


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on the road

Mums have been going up inthe world for more than 15years as SUVs have becomeAustralias favourite motoringchoice.

Riding high for good visibility intrafc and having plenty of space inback for the family has turned SUVsfrom off-road battle wagons into 21stcentury family cars.

Old-school stations wagons areout, people mover vans have neverreally clicked despite the qualitiesof vehicles like the Honda Odysseyand Toyota Tarago and school runs

and suburban shopping trips arenow SUV territory.

Picking the best people moverusually comes down to price andsize, but there is something foreveryone on the sliding scale fromthe Toyota RAV4 at $28,990 to thePorsche Cayenne for as much as$281,400.

Mums with an unlimitedbudget go rst to BMW and Audishowrooms to investigate the X5 andQ7 SUVs, which set the standard,but here are ve real-world choiceswhich get the job done.

Choosing the perfect family car canbe tricky. News Limited motoringeditor Paul Gover nominates histop five choices for mums

Cost: From $30,990Best features: Compact and car-likeDrawbacks: Showroom waiting listEditors comment: Developed from thecompact Subaru Impreza, the Forester isbest in class and the most car-like SUV todrive. Its also about to get a frugal dieselengine.

Mums verdict: Cheltenham mum-of-twoTanya De Haan (pictured with Jasper, 4, andTyrus, 6,) loves her 2004 model Forester.When I took it for a test drive it felt reallysafe to drive and this was backed up by myhusbands research. It handles well and Imup a bit higher, which I like. Its still easy topark and theres plenty of room for the pram.

MCBDEiwtaMPhrltsaapa

driveCars mums

MODEL: SUBARU FORESTER


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MODEL: HYUNDAI IX35Cost: from $26,990Best features: Nice design, great valueDrawbacks: Too new to rate onreliabilityEditors comment: More proof thatHyundai has its nger on the family-carpulse, with a combination of size, styleand nice price that works for Australia.Mums verdict: Point Cook mumCynthia Anderson and her children,Chloe, 11, and Nathan, 14, love theirHyundai. Cynthia says it was boughtas a second car but now the BMWX3 is more likely to sit in the garage.Itdrives really well and being diesel itslight on fuel. Its great to zip around inand theres heaps of room in the backfor the kids. Its got all the fan-dangledthings including a big sunroof andheated seats. I think my husbanddrives it more than I do!

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MODEL: TOYOTA KLUGERCost: From $40,990Best features: Size and qualityDrawbacks: Boring designEditors comment: The Kluger iseffectively the replacement for theCamry wagon, and even comes witha money-saving front-drive system.Seats for seven works but not astrendy as others.Mums verdict: Berwick mum-of-two Zara Vukelic bought her Klugerthis year and she loves it. She likeshaving seven seats and being high up.Zara, who has two boys, Luke, 4, andChristian, 3, says the car has plentyof leg room and is responsive.The rear parking camera is also greatbecause it gives condence to reverseand manoeuvre the car. We also likedToyotas reputation for quality, whichoptimises re-sale value.

MODEL: FORD TERRITORYCost: From $39,890Best features: Size, locally madeDrawbacks: Fuel economyEditors comment: The new-ageFalcon wagon is ideal for big Aussiefamilies, although it has a Falcon-style thirst. Also good for towing andavailable with seven seats.Mums verdict: Busy mum-of-twoAnita Inglis, of Lyster eld, lovesrunning around in her Territory withher children Claire, 3, and Ethan, 4.We bought it because of the room inthe back and we can have seven seatsand take the kids friends with us. Ialso like being higher up. And the bestfeature for a mum with screaming kidsis the reversing sensor and camera.

MODEL: MAZDA CX-7Cost: From $33,990Best features: Great looks, great driveDrawbacks: Fuel economyEditors comment: There is lots to likein the CX-7, which drives like a sportswagon. The CX-9 is for big families andthe only drawback is fuel economy anda diesel thats only a manual.Mums verdict: Jenny Gaudry, ofPort Melbourne, traded an Audi forher top of the range Mazda and shereckons it has all the prestige of aluxury car for half the price.Its easyto drive and gives a smooth ride. Its asmart-looking car and has every belland whistle including GPS, Bluetoothand a sunroof.Jenny says the CX-7 isperfect for school trips for Isabella, 6,and Bradman, 9.

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BEDTIME STORIESKids pop on your PJs,bring your pillows andparents for an eveningof tall tales and strangestories at ComoHouse, cnr Williams Rd andLechlade Ave, South Yarra, onFriday, August 27, from 6.30-7.30pm. Comois offering bedtime stories by candlelightin the ballroom to celebrate National BookWeek (August 21-27). New stories and oldfavourites will be read to children aged 5-12.Bring your rug and a mug for some hotchocolate and marshmallows. Entry: $5 forchildren, accompanying adult free. Bookingsrecommended. Details: 9827 2500.

HUBBLEJoin the crew of the Space Shuttle Atlantisand experience virtual star travel at Hubble3D, showing at IMAX Melbourne Museum,Rathdowne St, Carlton, from August 12.Tickets $17.50 for adults, $12.50 for childrenor $50 for a family (two adults and twochildren). Details: imaxmelbourne.com.au

MODEL TRAINSYoung Thomas the Tank Engine fans mightlike to visit the Australian Model RailwayAssociations exhibition at Caulfi eldRacecourse, Station St, Caulfi eld, onSaturday, August 21, from 9am-6pm andSunday, August 22, from 9am-5pm. Tickets$10 for adults and $5 for children aged 5-15.Details: amra-vic.org.au

AMAZING BODIESThe Amazing Bodiesexhibition is on until August31 at the Waterfront Pavilion,Docklands Drive, Docklands.Not for the fainthearted(and possibly not youngchildren), it showcasesa variety of bodies thathave been plastinated, which allows theinternal organs, muscles and body partsto be shown. Includes a human body andanimals including a whale and giraffe. OpenSaturdays to Thursdays from 10am-5pmand Fridays from 10am-8pm. Entry: $25 foradults, $17 for children (aged 7-14) and $75for families (two adults and two children).Details: amazingbodies.com.au

CERAMICSThe Victorian HobbyCeramics Associationsannual show has a butterfl y theme this year. It is on atthe Polish Club, 1325 Stud Rd,Rowville on Saturday, August 28, and Sunday,August 29. Details: vhca.org.au

FESTIVALJoin in the fun and celebrate Ukrainianculture with Cossack dancing, folk art,embroidery demonstrations, exhibitionsand traditional cuisine at Federation Square,cnr Flinders and Swanston streets, onSunday, August 22, from 11am-4pm.Details: fedsquare.com

GAMES FESTIVALExplore the creative side of games anddigital culture at the Freeplay IndependentGames Festival at the State Library ofVictoria, 304-328 Swanston St, Melbourne,on August 14 and 15, from 9am-6pm. With

the theme Play is Everywhere, playerswill be able to get their hands on locallydeveloped independent games, chat one-on-one with their creators, play board gamesand see game-inspired artwork.Details: freeplay.net.au

OPEN GARDENStop to smell the fl owersat Cruden Farm, DameElisabeth Murdochsbeautiful garden atCranhaven Rd, Langwarrin(Melway 103 G5). The garden willbe open on Sunday, August 29,from 10am-4.30pm. Entry: $12adults, children free.

THEME PARKGalactic Circus is Australias largest indoorinteractive theme park. Based at CrownEntertainment Complex, Southbank, thepark features hundreds of the latest arcadegames, ticket and prize games, indoor laser

skirmish, bowling and carnival favouriteslike fairy fl oss, popcorn and showbags.Open from 10am-2am weekdays and9am-2am weekends. Free entry.Details: galacticcircus.com.au

MARKET DAYSLooking for somethinga little bit different? Mathildas Marketfeatures handcrafted andlimited production babyand childrens goodsincluding original clothing,accessories, homewares and toys. Its onSunday, August 22, at the Hawthorn TownHall, cnr Glenferrie and Burwood roads,Hawthorn, from 9am-1pm. Bookworms of all ages will love the cityslargest weekly book market in The Atriumat Federation Square every Saturday from11am-5pm. Immerse yourself in more than5000 new and pre-loved titles, includingliterature, history, gardening, travel, art andchildrens books. Free entry.

NGV KIDSThe National Gallery Victorias NGV KidsCorners Light Play exhibition is on now untilNovember 2. Sparkling crystals, fi sh thatrespond to shadow and views through akaleidoscope are all part of this interactiveexhibition for young children. Visit on aSunday during August between 10.30am-noon for storytime. Kids Corner is open daily(except Mondays) from 10am-5pm at thecnr of Flinders and Russell streets.Details: ngv.vic.gov.au.

DORA THE EXPLORERSee Dora the Explorer live inperformances of Search for theCity of Lost Toys at theClocktower Centre,Moonee Ponds, onWednesday, August 11(bookings 9243 9191),the Plenty RangesArts Centre, SouthMorang, on Friday, August20 (bookings 9217 2317),and Darebin Performing ArtsCentre, Preston, on Saturday,August 21 (bookings 8470 8280).Details: nickjr.com.au

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MELBOURNE AQUARIUM Wonder at sea creatures from all over the worldat Melbourne Aquarium. Open daily from 9.30am-6pm at the cnr Flinders andKing streets, Melbourne, on the Yarra, opposite Crown. Tickets: adults $31.50,children (3-15 years): $18. Details: 9923 5999.

BEN 10 Ben Tennyson and his alien heroes will come to life on stage inMelbourne in BEN 10 LIVE: Power of the Omnitrix, a show filled with stunts,action and special effects. With a cast of 26 actors and professional stuntperformers, the 95-minute show is on at Hisense Arena, Batman Ave,Melbourne, on September 21 at 11am and September 22 at 11am and 2pm.Ticket prices start at $23.90. Bookings 13 2849 or ticketek.com.au We are giving four lucky Nurture readers a chance to win family ticketsto the show. See nurture.com.au to enter.

SCIENCEWORKSScienceworks iscelebrating NationalScience Week fromAugust 14-22 withexhibitions, scienceprograms and dailyLightning Room and Planetarium showsthroughout August. Scienceworks is at2 Booker St, Spotswood, and is open dailyfrom 10am-4.30pm. Entry is $8 adultsand children are free. For full details ofspecial events phone 9392 4800 or visitmuseumvictoria.com.au/scienceworks

MELBOURNE WRITERS FESTIVALBookworms will love the Melbourne WritersFestival, from August 27 to September5. Events for children aged 6-13 will runat ArtPlay, at Federation Square, on thefestival weekends (August 28 and 29 andSeptember 4 and 5). Each day pass toArtPlay includes workshop sessions withtop illustrators, storytelling events andthe chance to meet some of Melbournesfavourite childrens authors. There will alsobe advice for parents and teachers on howto select the best reading material for kids.Details: mwf.com.au

FILM FESTIVALThe Melbourne International Film Festival ison now until August 8 and features a seriesof films for young people in the Next Genscreenings at the Australian Centre for theMoving Image (ACMI) at Federation Square,Melbourne. Details: melbournefi lmfestival.com.au/nextgen

OPEN DAYVisit historic Labassa

Mansion, oneof Australias

mostoutstanding 19th century homes,

on Sunday, August 15, from 10.30am-4.30pm. Internal tours of the opulentinteriors will be held at 11am and 2.45pmwhile an external tour of the architecturalfeatures will be held at 1pm. Self-guidedtours are also available. Labassa is at 2Manor Grove, North Caulfield (Melway 58H11). Entry: adults $8, children $5.50 or$20 for a family.

Details: 9527 6295 or 9509 6596.

TALENTCheck out the talentat Highpoint ShoppingCentre, 120-200Rosamond Rd,Maribyrnong, on Saturday,August 14, at noon, 1pm or 2pm to seeperformers in the semi finals of Star Search,a talent search that has been running for 22years. Details: highpoint.com.au

MELBOURNE DAYCelebrate Melbourne Day on Monday,August 30. The date marks the day thefirst European settlers landed on the northbanks of the Yarra. This years celebrationincludes a three-day events program to markthe 175th anniversary of the landing, withweekend activities for families, culminating incelebrations on the day, including an offi cialflag raising ceremony and entertainment.Details: melbourneday.com.au

CHILDRENS GARDENMelbournes Royal BotanicGardens Childrens Garden isa unique and interactive placefor children to explore and enjoy.Open Wednesday to Sunday in

school terms and all week during schoolholidays at the Royal Botanic Gardens,Alexandra Ave, Melbourne. Free entry.

SHICHIDAShichida Australia,an early childhoodprogram for six-month-olds tosix-year-olds, ishaving open days atits centre at 91 Canterbury Rd, Canterburyon Saturday, August 14, from 1-2.30pmand Saturday, August 28, from 1-2.30pm.Shichida is designed to encourage childrento use the right brain to help nurture innateabilities such as photographic memory andperfect musical pitch. Details and bookings:9888 6886 or shichida.com.au

TITANICSee an array of relics from theworlds most famous ill-fatedpassenger ship at Titanic:The Artefact Exhibition. Thisblockbuster exhibition is on nowat Melbourne Museum and runsuntil October 17. To pre-book goto titanicmelbourne.com or phone 13 1102.

CHILDRENS FARMCollingwood ChildrensFarm is open dailyfrom 9am-5pm at theend of St Heliers St,Abbotsford. See thecows being milked at 10am and 4pm. Entry:$16 family, $8 adults and $4 children. Carparking is $4 all day. Details: 9417 5806.

MOVIESMums and bubs are welcomeat baby movie sessions onWednesday mornings at VillageCinemas at Airport West andSunshine. Check your localcinema for movies and sessiontimes (no sessions during schoolholidays). Tickets: $10 for adults, childrenunder three are free.

KIDS GALLERYThe Childrens Gallery at MelbourneMuseum is aimed at three to eight-year-olds,and consists of three spaces: The Big Boxexhibition gallery, The Learning Environmentand the Tattersalls Childrens Garden. Opendaily from 10am-5pm at the museum, 11Nicholson St, Carlton. Tickets: $8 adults,kids free.

EUREKA SKYDECK See amazing viewsfrom Eureka Skydeck,Level 88, RiversideQuay, Southbank, openfrom 10am-10pm. Tickets: $16.50 adults, $9children (4-16). Details: 9693 8888.

ZOO ENCOUNTERPre-schoolers can become mini zookeepers for the day in this fun 90-minutetour including face-to-face encounters withmeerkats, frogs, snakes and possums.Special highlights include abehind-the-scenes giraffeencounter. Tours run everyTuesday at Werribee OpenRange Zoo. Tickets: $40a person. Bookingsessential on1300 ZOOSVIC(1300 966 784).

visit nurture.com.au to tell us about your event

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Quitting work to be a stay-at-home dad was a simplechoice for father-of-threeClint Greagen and wifeTania. But others dontalways see it that way

my story homeDads at

DID YOU KNOW Playgroup Victoria can help find a playgroup for dads in your area or give tips for starting your own. Phone 1800 171 882

I was having a few drinks to celebratemy transition from full-time work tofull-time dad when a male colleagueslapped me on the shoulder and said:Youre a kept man now, mate, beforelaughing and adding,just kidding. Id loveto stay home and take the kids to the parkall day.

As he wandered out I felt a little stingfrom my dominant male ego but at thesame time I was excited by the suggestionof all that leisure time for stay-at-homeparents.

Nearly four years later and now aseasoned, battle-hardened SAHD toPictures: Eugene Hyland

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three boys under ve, I have a goodunderstanding of the joys and hardshipson both sides of the domestic fence.

I can see that his comment, and myacceptance of it, was typically nave,highlighting how undervalued the stay-at-home parent is and underestimatingthe relentless pressure and workload ofraising young children.

My wife Tania is a physiotherapist in herown practice and works as an academiclecturer and researcher. We have beentogether for 15 years and in that time hererce desire to pursue a rewarding careerwith a substantial nancial return hasbeen matched only by my equally ercedesire to pursue a more artistic vocationthat, unfortunately, promises far less nancially.

My previous 10 years of paid work wereexactly and only that paid work thatI had little else invested in. So once wedsettled on the fact that we didnt wantour kids in childcare several days a week,deciding who was to be the stay-at-homeparent was simple.

Thats why I nd it strange toencounter those who think we shouldforgo the plan most likely to bring ourfamily happiness in order to goose-stepalong the path of traditional gender roles.

As time went by I was also able to pickup a constant societal whispering thatsuggested that what we were doing wasnot just unusual but wrong.

Generally, the message is delivered in asubtle, almost subliminal way, housed inthrow-away lines like my ex-colleagues,or reinforced by media and advertising.

I only have to walk down the babyproducts aisle of the supermarket to seethat 99 per cent of the items Im buyingare marketed to women. I turn on theTV to see advertisements and programsportraying the dumb, incapable dad whoneeds mum to rush in with a frown and ashake of her head to save the familyfrom his child-like bumbling.

On an online forum for newparents I was chastisedfor insulting God, beingunmanly and notproviding for my family.

I was forcing my wife towork while I was living thehigh life. Men provide, Iwas told, and womennurture. Simple asthat.

I nd theseassumptionsfrustrating and belittling.Were all conditionedby society and eventhose prepared to thinkoutside the squareare susceptible to itsconstant pressure.

What is happeningat our house is what Id hope is

happening at most others. Were lookingafter each other and making sure wevegot money coming in while we maintaina (reasonably) clean and functioninghousehold.

Were working to provide our kids withthe best environment in which togrow and at the same time weregiving Mum and Dad the chance

to pursue goals as a coupleand as individuals.

And what a ripper rideits been. I rememberholding three-month-oldLewis with two-year-oldArchie standing beside me

as we waved Tania goodbyeand I started my rst of cial

day as a stay-at-home dad.We went back inside, the door

clicked shut and we waited for amoment. Nothing happened.Looking back, I get the feeling

that I was standing in a bombshelter without realising I washolding the bomb. Lewis started

pooing and crying and eating andthrowing up. Archie started raiding

cupboards and throwing tantrums.I started patting bums and

talking in alanguage thatrelied moreon facialexpressions

than words. I began cleaning soconsistently that, during my most sleep-deprived moments, I was almost certainmy left arm extended into a vacuum hoseand my right hand was a large yellowsponge.

Life for this SAHD is very good and therewards are many Archies recent leapforward in reading skills, Lewiss masteryof the football and his fat-bodied drawingswith stick-gure arms, and Tysons rstword and infectious giggle are only a fewrecent stand-outs.

I could write a book detailing nothingmore than the frequent highs anddaily joys this role has offered. Tania isconstantly enthused and excited by herprofession and weve organised things toallow her heaps of time with the kids.

Some days are tough, of course, andwe still get stressed out and pushed toour limits but, to tell you the truth, I thinkweve nailed it. This life works for us.

One thing I know for sure is that menand women are not cardboard cut-outs.Were all capable of being both carers andnurturers regardless of whether wereat home or working. Accepting this canprovide more options for families and agreater chance at happiness for everyone.Check out Clints blog atreservoirdad.com

-e

my story

ve ark

on


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Come along and bring the kids to enjoy the brand NEW Playroom

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recipes

bestFresh isCommercial baby food may beconvenient, but fresh is best whenit comes to weaning and feedingin the early years, according to healthexperts.

National Health and Medical ResearchCouncil consultant Professor KatrineBaghurst says processed baby foodmust meet strict dietary guidelines inAustralia and is ne for quick mealson the go, but making your own food ispreferable.

Fresh is always best, ProfessorBaghurst says.In the canning processsome nutrients are susceptible to heatand if you can prepare your own freshfood youve probably got a better chanceof encapsulating nutrients.

Professor Baghurst says babiestastebuds are still developing so itsimportant to avoid using salt and sugarin food so they dont develop a cravingfor the taste later on. Homemade foodalso offers some variety in taste andconsistency, which is good for babies asthey learn to chew.

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