3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

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Search

C R I T I C L A W Y E R S C I T E C H E N D I N G S

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

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Critical Choices

Record Of The Week

Father John Misty ndash lsquoI

Love You Honeybearrsquo

RuPaulrsquos Drag Race Recap And the Rest is

Drag

Album Review lsquoWhat a

Terrible World What a

Beautiful Worldrsquo ndash The

Decemberists

Learning To Love The

Grind With Monster

Hunter

Review ndash Hacker Hoaxer Whistleblower

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 319

Not All Dr Seuss Books Are ClassicsTrust Us Naomi Kritzer March 4 2015 Critic 2 Comments

Therersquos a new Dr Seuss book coming out in the summer unearthed (fully

illustrated even) from his home The new book is called What Pet Should I

Get and I find the excitement a little surprising given all the obscure Dr

Seuss books out there that most parents have never seen This isnrsquot going to

be the next Green Eggs and Ham although it might possibly be the next Foot

Book But it might also be the next Hunches in Bunches Some of his obscure

books are obscure for a reason

Anyway Allow me to point the way to a few volumes of Seuss you might be

less familiar with perhaps with good reason

I Had Trouble in Getting to Solla Sollew

Spy The Many Faces of

Anonymous

Irsquom A Bitter

Critic

Lawyer

SciTech

Endings

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 419

Explore Bitter Empire

10 Things You Will Do While Studying for theBar

Five Godawful YouTube Video Depositions

Dear Bitter Butch How Do I Tell If Its FlirtingFor Fun Or Flirting For Real

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 519

This is the cream of the crop what I was looking for when I dove into this

project a genuinely excellent undeservedly obscure classic Seuss book It

has rhyme meter plot amusing illustrations and a useful life lesson baked

in

The narrator has troubles Fuzzy feathered and nasty little troubles So he

sets out for Solla Sollew where allegedly they never have troubles (or at

least very few) Of course the trip is utterly disastrous he gets exploited by

a lazy manager (ldquoThis is called teamwork I furnish the brains You furnish

the muscles the aches and the painsrdquo) washed away in a flood drafted

abruptly into an army where hersquos abandoned by his supposed comrades

after being sent up against a pack of Poozers armed only with a pea-shooter

trapped in traffic and then turned away from Solla Sollew because the one

trouble they do have prevents them from opening the gates He finally

returns home arms himself with a big stick and decides hersquoll handle his

troubles himself

In a sense this book reminded me of the (non-Seuss) childrenrsquos classic

Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No-Good Very Bad Day in which after

each bit of misery Alexander informs us that hersquos going to move to

Australia That bookrsquos about the troubles this onersquos about the process of

trying to escape them both wind up with the message that sometimes all

you can do is suck it up and try to handle what life sends you

Irsquoll note that Irsquom not kidding about the big stick Well ldquobig batrdquo according to

the narrator it sort of looks like a club Therersquos a distinct ldquoviolence Violence

is the solutionrdquo tone to the ending which some parents may find off-

putting I suppose if you have a preschooler whose ldquotroublesrdquo are his newly

mobile twin siblings you might not want him solving those troubles with bat

Americarsquos Next Top Model Cycle 22 Episode6 The Models Get Their Possession On

Seven Women You Sleep With in Law School

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 619

Anyway I think most kids grasp that the stick can be a metaphor but just as

a public service I figured I would mention it

McElligotrsquos Pool and Scrambled Eggs Super

These are both silliness with almost no plot In McElligotrsquos Pool the boy

(Marco from Mulberry Street) is fishing in a tiny little puddle fantasizing

about all the wildly exotic aquatic creatures he might somehow catch In

Scrambled Eggs Super the boy narrator tells his sister about an omelet he

made from a bunch of fantastically exotic eggs Basically both books were

an opportunity for Seuss to draw whimsical creatures and then give them

bizarre names If you like On Beyond Zebra these will probably be up your

alley too

There are parents who complain about Scrambled Eggs Super on the grounds

that it teaches environmental irresponsibility because the kid is stealing

eggs from endangered species Irsquom going to go ahead and suggest that if you

are truly worried about this you might want to get a grip before your kid is

old enough to pick out his or her own books console yourself in the

knowledge that itrsquos clearly a kid telling tall tales to his sister and the fact

that the Long-Legger Kwong is not on the endangered species list Irsquom rather

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 719

more bothered by the fact that the book talks about Wogs (theyrsquore ldquothe

worldrsquos sweetest frogsrdquo in this case not humans being referred to with a

racial slur but still)

Hunches in Bunches

The narrator canrsquot decide what to do his various impulses (do homework

Visit a friend Oil his bike) are personified as goofy Seussian monsters

ordering him around

This one is lesser-known for a couple of reasons The rhymes donrsquot run quite

as smoothly as in some of his books But mdash and this is actually way more of a

dealbreaker for most parents I know than the violent implications of the

club in Solla Sollew or the environmental disrespect in Scrambled Eggs

Super mdash the words ldquodumbrdquo and ldquostupidrdquo get used multiple times (ldquoIrsquom not

that dumb a duncerdquo ldquoAnd then I heard an Up Hunch laugh lsquoYou are a stupid

schlupprdquo) If yoursquore a non-parent you may be rolling your eyes right now

and wondering why I would make fun of the parents who think Green Eggs

and Ham will make their kids try heroin but sympathize with the people

phobic of the word ldquostupidrdquo Itrsquos any three-year-old who hears the evocative

phrase ldquoyou are a stupid schlupprdquo is almost guaranteed to try it out within

24 hours and therersquos very little quite as irritating as hearing siblings scream

ldquostupidrdquo

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 819

at each other

Back when my older kid was six I once had four kindergartners in my

minivan and one of them loudly announce ldquoI know the bad S-wordrdquo To my

relief she meant the word ldquostupidrdquo (The bad f-word was ldquofatrdquo) Anyway if

yoursquore one of the parents who seriously treats the word ldquostupidrdquo as a swear

word you definitely donrsquot want to read your kid this book and even if yoursquore

mellower about it you might want to avoid it And yoursquore not missing out on

all that much for a better book about a kid dragged randomly from task to

task by someone elsersquos impulsive whims grab If You Give a Mouse a Cookie or

any of the sequels

I Can Lick 30 Tigers Today And Other Stories

This is so obscure hardly anyone I describe it to even recognizes it I also

think it may be the single worst Seuss book every published Plot rhyme

misogyny and poor messaging all in one convenient package

There are three stories packaged together here The ldquoI Can Lick 30 Tigersrdquo

one involves the Cat in the Hat slowly disqualifying all thirty tigers from the

fight hersquos offering (theyrsquore too small they look tired their fingernails are

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 919

dirtyhellip) and is reasonably amusing although it lacks a good rhythm and is

sort of clunky ldquoKing Looie Katzrdquo has a bunch of cats carrying each otherrsquos

tails around until the guy on the end quits (itrsquos a little reminiscent of Yertle

the Turtle but shorter and not as good)

The longest story by far is ldquoThe Glunk That Got Thunkrdquo a bizarre and

unfortunate little horror story The setup of summoning a horrifying

creature that you canrsquot banish is a staple in TV and movies but usually the

summoning requires at least a little bit of deliberate effort The narratorrsquos

sister does it just by imagining

A thing my sister likes to do

Some evenings after supper

Is sit upstairs in her small room

And use her Thinker-Upper

She turns her Thinker-Upper on

She lets it softly purr

It thinks up friendly little things

With smiles and fuzzy fur

Of course she gets tired of the cute little fuzzy things and decides to speed

up her Thinker-Upper and see what she can come up with She thinks up a

Glunk which is a large green stinky nasty-looking monster (ldquoI have

thunked up quite a methrdquo the sister says which is supposed to be a lisp and

not a drug reference Although if you re-read this and pretend that the

Glunk is supposed to be a symbolic representation of amphetamine

addiction the story is somewhat improved)

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 719

more bothered by the fact that the book talks about Wogs (theyrsquore ldquothe

worldrsquos sweetest frogsrdquo in this case not humans being referred to with a

racial slur but still)

Hunches in Bunches

The narrator canrsquot decide what to do his various impulses (do homework

Visit a friend Oil his bike) are personified as goofy Seussian monsters

ordering him around

This one is lesser-known for a couple of reasons The rhymes donrsquot run quite

as smoothly as in some of his books But mdash and this is actually way more of a

dealbreaker for most parents I know than the violent implications of the

club in Solla Sollew or the environmental disrespect in Scrambled Eggs

Super mdash the words ldquodumbrdquo and ldquostupidrdquo get used multiple times (ldquoIrsquom not

that dumb a duncerdquo ldquoAnd then I heard an Up Hunch laugh lsquoYou are a stupid

schlupprdquo) If yoursquore a non-parent you may be rolling your eyes right now

and wondering why I would make fun of the parents who think Green Eggs

and Ham will make their kids try heroin but sympathize with the people

phobic of the word ldquostupidrdquo Itrsquos any three-year-old who hears the evocative

phrase ldquoyou are a stupid schlupprdquo is almost guaranteed to try it out within

24 hours and therersquos very little quite as irritating as hearing siblings scream

ldquostupidrdquo

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 819

at each other

Back when my older kid was six I once had four kindergartners in my

minivan and one of them loudly announce ldquoI know the bad S-wordrdquo To my

relief she meant the word ldquostupidrdquo (The bad f-word was ldquofatrdquo) Anyway if

yoursquore one of the parents who seriously treats the word ldquostupidrdquo as a swear

word you definitely donrsquot want to read your kid this book and even if yoursquore

mellower about it you might want to avoid it And yoursquore not missing out on

all that much for a better book about a kid dragged randomly from task to

task by someone elsersquos impulsive whims grab If You Give a Mouse a Cookie or

any of the sequels

I Can Lick 30 Tigers Today And Other Stories

This is so obscure hardly anyone I describe it to even recognizes it I also

think it may be the single worst Seuss book every published Plot rhyme

misogyny and poor messaging all in one convenient package

There are three stories packaged together here The ldquoI Can Lick 30 Tigersrdquo

one involves the Cat in the Hat slowly disqualifying all thirty tigers from the

fight hersquos offering (theyrsquore too small they look tired their fingernails are

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 919

dirtyhellip) and is reasonably amusing although it lacks a good rhythm and is

sort of clunky ldquoKing Looie Katzrdquo has a bunch of cats carrying each otherrsquos

tails around until the guy on the end quits (itrsquos a little reminiscent of Yertle

the Turtle but shorter and not as good)

The longest story by far is ldquoThe Glunk That Got Thunkrdquo a bizarre and

unfortunate little horror story The setup of summoning a horrifying

creature that you canrsquot banish is a staple in TV and movies but usually the

summoning requires at least a little bit of deliberate effort The narratorrsquos

sister does it just by imagining

A thing my sister likes to do

Some evenings after supper

Is sit upstairs in her small room

And use her Thinker-Upper

She turns her Thinker-Upper on

She lets it softly purr

It thinks up friendly little things

With smiles and fuzzy fur

Of course she gets tired of the cute little fuzzy things and decides to speed

up her Thinker-Upper and see what she can come up with She thinks up a

Glunk which is a large green stinky nasty-looking monster (ldquoI have

thunked up quite a methrdquo the sister says which is supposed to be a lisp and

not a drug reference Although if you re-read this and pretend that the

Glunk is supposed to be a symbolic representation of amphetamine

addiction the story is somewhat improved)

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 819

at each other

Back when my older kid was six I once had four kindergartners in my

minivan and one of them loudly announce ldquoI know the bad S-wordrdquo To my

relief she meant the word ldquostupidrdquo (The bad f-word was ldquofatrdquo) Anyway if

yoursquore one of the parents who seriously treats the word ldquostupidrdquo as a swear

word you definitely donrsquot want to read your kid this book and even if yoursquore

mellower about it you might want to avoid it And yoursquore not missing out on

all that much for a better book about a kid dragged randomly from task to

task by someone elsersquos impulsive whims grab If You Give a Mouse a Cookie or

any of the sequels

I Can Lick 30 Tigers Today And Other Stories

This is so obscure hardly anyone I describe it to even recognizes it I also

think it may be the single worst Seuss book every published Plot rhyme

misogyny and poor messaging all in one convenient package

There are three stories packaged together here The ldquoI Can Lick 30 Tigersrdquo

one involves the Cat in the Hat slowly disqualifying all thirty tigers from the

fight hersquos offering (theyrsquore too small they look tired their fingernails are

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 919

dirtyhellip) and is reasonably amusing although it lacks a good rhythm and is

sort of clunky ldquoKing Looie Katzrdquo has a bunch of cats carrying each otherrsquos

tails around until the guy on the end quits (itrsquos a little reminiscent of Yertle

the Turtle but shorter and not as good)

The longest story by far is ldquoThe Glunk That Got Thunkrdquo a bizarre and

unfortunate little horror story The setup of summoning a horrifying

creature that you canrsquot banish is a staple in TV and movies but usually the

summoning requires at least a little bit of deliberate effort The narratorrsquos

sister does it just by imagining

A thing my sister likes to do

Some evenings after supper

Is sit upstairs in her small room

And use her Thinker-Upper

She turns her Thinker-Upper on

She lets it softly purr

It thinks up friendly little things

With smiles and fuzzy fur

Of course she gets tired of the cute little fuzzy things and decides to speed

up her Thinker-Upper and see what she can come up with She thinks up a

Glunk which is a large green stinky nasty-looking monster (ldquoI have

thunked up quite a methrdquo the sister says which is supposed to be a lisp and

not a drug reference Although if you re-read this and pretend that the

Glunk is supposed to be a symbolic representation of amphetamine

addiction the story is somewhat improved)

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 919

dirtyhellip) and is reasonably amusing although it lacks a good rhythm and is

sort of clunky ldquoKing Looie Katzrdquo has a bunch of cats carrying each otherrsquos

tails around until the guy on the end quits (itrsquos a little reminiscent of Yertle

the Turtle but shorter and not as good)

The longest story by far is ldquoThe Glunk That Got Thunkrdquo a bizarre and

unfortunate little horror story The setup of summoning a horrifying

creature that you canrsquot banish is a staple in TV and movies but usually the

summoning requires at least a little bit of deliberate effort The narratorrsquos

sister does it just by imagining

A thing my sister likes to do

Some evenings after supper

Is sit upstairs in her small room

And use her Thinker-Upper

She turns her Thinker-Upper on

She lets it softly purr

It thinks up friendly little things

With smiles and fuzzy fur

Of course she gets tired of the cute little fuzzy things and decides to speed

up her Thinker-Upper and see what she can come up with She thinks up a

Glunk which is a large green stinky nasty-looking monster (ldquoI have

thunked up quite a methrdquo the sister says which is supposed to be a lisp and

not a drug reference Although if you re-read this and pretend that the

Glunk is supposed to be a symbolic representation of amphetamine

addiction the story is somewhat improved)

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1019

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1119

The Glunk takes physical form and promptly makes a long-distance phone

call to his mother 9000 miles away in Texa-Kota-Cutt costing the family

$10minute as he gives her his favorite recipe (Gosh remember when long

distance phone calls were outrageously expensive You must be my age and

not my childrenrsquos age) The sister tries to un-think the Glunk with no

success eventually the brother comes to her rescue and the two are able to

banish it together Chastened the girl sticks with fuzzy things thereafter

I have a friend who will make a strong case for the much-better-known Cat

in the Hat as a horror story the Cat invades the house threatens the fish

makes an enormous mess etc But the Cat is drawn in a playful and friendly

way the Glunk is a straight-up scary monster

Therersquos also the fact that the Glunk is summoned by the sister banished by

the brother (and the sister but shersquos clearly dependent on him) and that the

moral of the story is apparently that girls should stick with thinking about

cute and fuzzy things lest they bring disaster to us all Therersquos actually quite

a bit of misogyny in Dr Seuss mdash Mayzie the flighty irresponsible mother

who leaves her egg with Horton the elephant is probably the best-known

example but therersquos also Gertrude McFuzz who nearly kills herself with

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1219

vanity in one of the other stories in Yertle the Turtle Most of the better

Seuss books are simply devoid of female characters entirely and just donrsquot

ask where baby Sneetches come from Anyway this one truly puts Seussrsquos

weird misogyny in high definition

Horton and the Kwuggerbug and More Lost Stories

This just came out last year so even if yoursquore itching for the truly lost-and-

rediscovered Seuss you still donrsquot have to wait for Which Pet Should I Get

Itrsquos a collection of four stories all of which were published in Redbook

magazine in the 1950s

Part of the appeal to this collection is the familiarity of the characters and

settings Horton is the same elephant who sat on an egg and heard a Who in

this short story hersquos conned into giving a greedy bug a lengthy ride with the

promise of a share of Beezlenuts (If therersquos one consistent moral to the

Seuss books itrsquos that you should never ever pick up a hitchhiker) Marco

the hero of McElligotrsquos Pool and To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street

tells a tall tale to explain his tardiness at school

A police officer on Mulberry Street ldquosaves the whole townrdquo by swatting a fly

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1319

and therersquos even an appearance by a Grinch though seeing the Grinch

working as a small-time irritating salesman will probably disappoint most

Grinch fans

The weakness of this book is the amount of text on the page With some

kids you need pretty frequent page flips to keep their interest and since

this was originally printed in a magazine there are fewer illustrations for

each block of text

The Kingrsquos Stilts

This is seriously old-school Seuss one of his very first books and not

narrated in rhyme (The other non-rhyming Seuss books most people are

somewhat familiar with are The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins and

Bartholomew and the Oobleck This one is similar to those but with a king as a

hero rather than antagonist)

The moral of this story is ldquoall work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and

also causes him to totally shirk his responsibilities so people who are overly

invested in Royal Dignity should suck itrdquo I thought it was a bit anvilicious but

my younger daughter spotted it on my desk and read it and she thought it

was great so clearly mileage will vary

The Seven Lady Godivas

So here we are the secret lost Seuss book the only one to fall out of print

(and be brought back only to fall out of print again) This was Dr Seussrsquos

attempt to write a dirty book mdash kind of Itrsquos full of the tamest funniest naked

lady pictures yoursquove ever seen

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1419

Families that are unbothered by the little boy dangly bits in Maurice

Sendakrsquos In the Night Kitchen will find nothing particularly shocking here

other than the fact that the breasts donrsquot have nipples the legs are

proportioned wrong and the ladies go naked while rowing boats riding

horses attending funerals and climbing out of buildings

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1519

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1619

The premise of the book is that there were seven Godiva sisters all of whom

routinely went naked they lost their father in a tragic horse-riding accident

and honored his memory by swearing not to marry (the seven Peeping

brothers) until they could discover some useful facts about horses

Seuss was apparently trying to make the ladies sexy but he really did not

succeed Every picture is hilarious The story is unrhymed and whimsical Itrsquos

hard to find and not particularly cheap used but if yoursquore lucky you might

be able to check it out of your local library (thatrsquos where I found it)

You May Also Like

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3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1119

The Glunk takes physical form and promptly makes a long-distance phone

call to his mother 9000 miles away in Texa-Kota-Cutt costing the family

$10minute as he gives her his favorite recipe (Gosh remember when long

distance phone calls were outrageously expensive You must be my age and

not my childrenrsquos age) The sister tries to un-think the Glunk with no

success eventually the brother comes to her rescue and the two are able to

banish it together Chastened the girl sticks with fuzzy things thereafter

I have a friend who will make a strong case for the much-better-known Cat

in the Hat as a horror story the Cat invades the house threatens the fish

makes an enormous mess etc But the Cat is drawn in a playful and friendly

way the Glunk is a straight-up scary monster

Therersquos also the fact that the Glunk is summoned by the sister banished by

the brother (and the sister but shersquos clearly dependent on him) and that the

moral of the story is apparently that girls should stick with thinking about

cute and fuzzy things lest they bring disaster to us all Therersquos actually quite

a bit of misogyny in Dr Seuss mdash Mayzie the flighty irresponsible mother

who leaves her egg with Horton the elephant is probably the best-known

example but therersquos also Gertrude McFuzz who nearly kills herself with

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1219

vanity in one of the other stories in Yertle the Turtle Most of the better

Seuss books are simply devoid of female characters entirely and just donrsquot

ask where baby Sneetches come from Anyway this one truly puts Seussrsquos

weird misogyny in high definition

Horton and the Kwuggerbug and More Lost Stories

This just came out last year so even if yoursquore itching for the truly lost-and-

rediscovered Seuss you still donrsquot have to wait for Which Pet Should I Get

Itrsquos a collection of four stories all of which were published in Redbook

magazine in the 1950s

Part of the appeal to this collection is the familiarity of the characters and

settings Horton is the same elephant who sat on an egg and heard a Who in

this short story hersquos conned into giving a greedy bug a lengthy ride with the

promise of a share of Beezlenuts (If therersquos one consistent moral to the

Seuss books itrsquos that you should never ever pick up a hitchhiker) Marco

the hero of McElligotrsquos Pool and To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street

tells a tall tale to explain his tardiness at school

A police officer on Mulberry Street ldquosaves the whole townrdquo by swatting a fly

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1319

and therersquos even an appearance by a Grinch though seeing the Grinch

working as a small-time irritating salesman will probably disappoint most

Grinch fans

The weakness of this book is the amount of text on the page With some

kids you need pretty frequent page flips to keep their interest and since

this was originally printed in a magazine there are fewer illustrations for

each block of text

The Kingrsquos Stilts

This is seriously old-school Seuss one of his very first books and not

narrated in rhyme (The other non-rhyming Seuss books most people are

somewhat familiar with are The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins and

Bartholomew and the Oobleck This one is similar to those but with a king as a

hero rather than antagonist)

The moral of this story is ldquoall work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and

also causes him to totally shirk his responsibilities so people who are overly

invested in Royal Dignity should suck itrdquo I thought it was a bit anvilicious but

my younger daughter spotted it on my desk and read it and she thought it

was great so clearly mileage will vary

The Seven Lady Godivas

So here we are the secret lost Seuss book the only one to fall out of print

(and be brought back only to fall out of print again) This was Dr Seussrsquos

attempt to write a dirty book mdash kind of Itrsquos full of the tamest funniest naked

lady pictures yoursquove ever seen

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1419

Families that are unbothered by the little boy dangly bits in Maurice

Sendakrsquos In the Night Kitchen will find nothing particularly shocking here

other than the fact that the breasts donrsquot have nipples the legs are

proportioned wrong and the ladies go naked while rowing boats riding

horses attending funerals and climbing out of buildings

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1519

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1619

The premise of the book is that there were seven Godiva sisters all of whom

routinely went naked they lost their father in a tragic horse-riding accident

and honored his memory by swearing not to marry (the seven Peeping

brothers) until they could discover some useful facts about horses

Seuss was apparently trying to make the ladies sexy but he really did not

succeed Every picture is hilarious The story is unrhymed and whimsical Itrsquos

hard to find and not particularly cheap used but if yoursquore lucky you might

be able to check it out of your local library (thatrsquos where I found it)

You May Also Like

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3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1219

vanity in one of the other stories in Yertle the Turtle Most of the better

Seuss books are simply devoid of female characters entirely and just donrsquot

ask where baby Sneetches come from Anyway this one truly puts Seussrsquos

weird misogyny in high definition

Horton and the Kwuggerbug and More Lost Stories

This just came out last year so even if yoursquore itching for the truly lost-and-

rediscovered Seuss you still donrsquot have to wait for Which Pet Should I Get

Itrsquos a collection of four stories all of which were published in Redbook

magazine in the 1950s

Part of the appeal to this collection is the familiarity of the characters and

settings Horton is the same elephant who sat on an egg and heard a Who in

this short story hersquos conned into giving a greedy bug a lengthy ride with the

promise of a share of Beezlenuts (If therersquos one consistent moral to the

Seuss books itrsquos that you should never ever pick up a hitchhiker) Marco

the hero of McElligotrsquos Pool and To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street

tells a tall tale to explain his tardiness at school

A police officer on Mulberry Street ldquosaves the whole townrdquo by swatting a fly

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1319

and therersquos even an appearance by a Grinch though seeing the Grinch

working as a small-time irritating salesman will probably disappoint most

Grinch fans

The weakness of this book is the amount of text on the page With some

kids you need pretty frequent page flips to keep their interest and since

this was originally printed in a magazine there are fewer illustrations for

each block of text

The Kingrsquos Stilts

This is seriously old-school Seuss one of his very first books and not

narrated in rhyme (The other non-rhyming Seuss books most people are

somewhat familiar with are The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins and

Bartholomew and the Oobleck This one is similar to those but with a king as a

hero rather than antagonist)

The moral of this story is ldquoall work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and

also causes him to totally shirk his responsibilities so people who are overly

invested in Royal Dignity should suck itrdquo I thought it was a bit anvilicious but

my younger daughter spotted it on my desk and read it and she thought it

was great so clearly mileage will vary

The Seven Lady Godivas

So here we are the secret lost Seuss book the only one to fall out of print

(and be brought back only to fall out of print again) This was Dr Seussrsquos

attempt to write a dirty book mdash kind of Itrsquos full of the tamest funniest naked

lady pictures yoursquove ever seen

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1419

Families that are unbothered by the little boy dangly bits in Maurice

Sendakrsquos In the Night Kitchen will find nothing particularly shocking here

other than the fact that the breasts donrsquot have nipples the legs are

proportioned wrong and the ladies go naked while rowing boats riding

horses attending funerals and climbing out of buildings

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1519

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1619

The premise of the book is that there were seven Godiva sisters all of whom

routinely went naked they lost their father in a tragic horse-riding accident

and honored his memory by swearing not to marry (the seven Peeping

brothers) until they could discover some useful facts about horses

Seuss was apparently trying to make the ladies sexy but he really did not

succeed Every picture is hilarious The story is unrhymed and whimsical Itrsquos

hard to find and not particularly cheap used but if yoursquore lucky you might

be able to check it out of your local library (thatrsquos where I found it)

You May Also Like

Around The Web

4 Stages to a Heart Attack- Are You at Risk

Wedding PhotographerCaught the MostUnbelievable Moments

Men Dont Need Viagra ifThey Do This (Once Daily)Kills ED

New Sleep Aid TakesWalgreens by Storm

1 EyeLash Tool EveryWoman Must Try

Why Online Dating Worksso Well for OlderAmericans

3 Foods Surgeons Are NowCalling Death Foods

Why Women Are Flockingto This Incredible NewShopping Site

Spons ored Spons ored Spons ored Spons ored

Spons ored Spons ored Spons ored Spons ored

Paid Content

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1319

and therersquos even an appearance by a Grinch though seeing the Grinch

working as a small-time irritating salesman will probably disappoint most

Grinch fans

The weakness of this book is the amount of text on the page With some

kids you need pretty frequent page flips to keep their interest and since

this was originally printed in a magazine there are fewer illustrations for

each block of text

The Kingrsquos Stilts

This is seriously old-school Seuss one of his very first books and not

narrated in rhyme (The other non-rhyming Seuss books most people are

somewhat familiar with are The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins and

Bartholomew and the Oobleck This one is similar to those but with a king as a

hero rather than antagonist)

The moral of this story is ldquoall work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and

also causes him to totally shirk his responsibilities so people who are overly

invested in Royal Dignity should suck itrdquo I thought it was a bit anvilicious but

my younger daughter spotted it on my desk and read it and she thought it

was great so clearly mileage will vary

The Seven Lady Godivas

So here we are the secret lost Seuss book the only one to fall out of print

(and be brought back only to fall out of print again) This was Dr Seussrsquos

attempt to write a dirty book mdash kind of Itrsquos full of the tamest funniest naked

lady pictures yoursquove ever seen

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1419

Families that are unbothered by the little boy dangly bits in Maurice

Sendakrsquos In the Night Kitchen will find nothing particularly shocking here

other than the fact that the breasts donrsquot have nipples the legs are

proportioned wrong and the ladies go naked while rowing boats riding

horses attending funerals and climbing out of buildings

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1519

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1619

The premise of the book is that there were seven Godiva sisters all of whom

routinely went naked they lost their father in a tragic horse-riding accident

and honored his memory by swearing not to marry (the seven Peeping

brothers) until they could discover some useful facts about horses

Seuss was apparently trying to make the ladies sexy but he really did not

succeed Every picture is hilarious The story is unrhymed and whimsical Itrsquos

hard to find and not particularly cheap used but if yoursquore lucky you might

be able to check it out of your local library (thatrsquos where I found it)

You May Also Like

Around The Web

4 Stages to a Heart Attack- Are You at Risk

Wedding PhotographerCaught the MostUnbelievable Moments

Men Dont Need Viagra ifThey Do This (Once Daily)Kills ED

New Sleep Aid TakesWalgreens by Storm

1 EyeLash Tool EveryWoman Must Try

Why Online Dating Worksso Well for OlderAmericans

3 Foods Surgeons Are NowCalling Death Foods

Why Women Are Flockingto This Incredible NewShopping Site

Spons ored Spons ored Spons ored Spons ored

Spons ored Spons ored Spons ored Spons ored

Paid Content

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1419

Families that are unbothered by the little boy dangly bits in Maurice

Sendakrsquos In the Night Kitchen will find nothing particularly shocking here

other than the fact that the breasts donrsquot have nipples the legs are

proportioned wrong and the ladies go naked while rowing boats riding

horses attending funerals and climbing out of buildings

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1519

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1619

The premise of the book is that there were seven Godiva sisters all of whom

routinely went naked they lost their father in a tragic horse-riding accident

and honored his memory by swearing not to marry (the seven Peeping

brothers) until they could discover some useful facts about horses

Seuss was apparently trying to make the ladies sexy but he really did not

succeed Every picture is hilarious The story is unrhymed and whimsical Itrsquos

hard to find and not particularly cheap used but if yoursquore lucky you might

be able to check it out of your local library (thatrsquos where I found it)

You May Also Like

Around The Web

4 Stages to a Heart Attack- Are You at Risk

Wedding PhotographerCaught the MostUnbelievable Moments

Men Dont Need Viagra ifThey Do This (Once Daily)Kills ED

New Sleep Aid TakesWalgreens by Storm

1 EyeLash Tool EveryWoman Must Try

Why Online Dating Worksso Well for OlderAmericans

3 Foods Surgeons Are NowCalling Death Foods

Why Women Are Flockingto This Incredible NewShopping Site

Spons ored Spons ored Spons ored Spons ored

Spons ored Spons ored Spons ored Spons ored

Paid Content

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1519

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1619

The premise of the book is that there were seven Godiva sisters all of whom

routinely went naked they lost their father in a tragic horse-riding accident

and honored his memory by swearing not to marry (the seven Peeping

brothers) until they could discover some useful facts about horses

Seuss was apparently trying to make the ladies sexy but he really did not

succeed Every picture is hilarious The story is unrhymed and whimsical Itrsquos

hard to find and not particularly cheap used but if yoursquore lucky you might

be able to check it out of your local library (thatrsquos where I found it)

You May Also Like

Around The Web

4 Stages to a Heart Attack- Are You at Risk

Wedding PhotographerCaught the MostUnbelievable Moments

Men Dont Need Viagra ifThey Do This (Once Daily)Kills ED

New Sleep Aid TakesWalgreens by Storm

1 EyeLash Tool EveryWoman Must Try

Why Online Dating Worksso Well for OlderAmericans

3 Foods Surgeons Are NowCalling Death Foods

Why Women Are Flockingto This Incredible NewShopping Site

Spons ored Spons ored Spons ored Spons ored

Spons ored Spons ored Spons ored Spons ored

Paid Content

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1619

The premise of the book is that there were seven Godiva sisters all of whom

routinely went naked they lost their father in a tragic horse-riding accident

and honored his memory by swearing not to marry (the seven Peeping

brothers) until they could discover some useful facts about horses

Seuss was apparently trying to make the ladies sexy but he really did not

succeed Every picture is hilarious The story is unrhymed and whimsical Itrsquos

hard to find and not particularly cheap used but if yoursquore lucky you might

be able to check it out of your local library (thatrsquos where I found it)

You May Also Like

Around The Web

4 Stages to a Heart Attack- Are You at Risk

Wedding PhotographerCaught the MostUnbelievable Moments

Men Dont Need Viagra ifThey Do This (Once Daily)Kills ED

New Sleep Aid TakesWalgreens by Storm

1 EyeLash Tool EveryWoman Must Try

Why Online Dating Worksso Well for OlderAmericans

3 Foods Surgeons Are NowCalling Death Foods

Why Women Are Flockingto This Incredible NewShopping Site

Spons ored Spons ored Spons ored Spons ored

Spons ored Spons ored Spons ored Spons ored

Paid Content

3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1719

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3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

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Dear Bitter Butch How Can I Convince MyFour-Year-Old That Gender Binaries AreArtificial4 comments bull 4 months ago

Amber mdash My little gem (now 6) went throughthis phase too Keep offering choices Read

Just One Energy Drink Is Probably NotGoing To Murder You Dead1 comment bull 3 months ago

American Beverage Association mdash Exactly rightthat this study does indeed have numerous

ALSO ON BITTEREMPIRE

2 Comments bitterempire Login1

Share⤤ Sort by Best

Join the discussionhellip

bull Reply bull

Ambignostic bull a year agoI was surprised by how much I dislike 1984s The Butter Battle Book I appreciate that Geisel inthe throes of nuclear panic that gripped so many of us back then tried to take a public standagainst the futility of the arms race But I find it a little bit preachy and simplistic to suggest that theantipathy between communist and capitalist empires was analogous to a disagreement betweencultures about which way to hold your bread The worse problem though is that the narrativeshifts voice in a really jarring way near the end

1

bull Reply bull

Naomi bull a year agogt Ambignostic

I didnt write about the Butter Battle Book in this piece because I think most people haveheard of it but youre absolutely correct that its pretty terrible

Theres the super-simplistic politics for starters I kind of liked the depiction of the futility ofan arms race but ITA that the butter side updown metaphor was deeply problematic Hisother political books simplify but in a less X symbolizes Y kind of wayplus being aracist bigot is stupid is a legit simple message in a way that theres no real differencebetween the US and the USSR is not

The rhymes and rhythm have places where they just dont work -- he was in a hurry to getit out so he didnt stick with it as long as he should have -- and the timing and narrativemake no goddamn sense just in terms of whos telling the story and how Its just a badlydone book If you want a peacenik hippy book about how escalation doesnt work as wellas peacemaking The Three Little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig by Eugene Trivizas is amuch better take on the theme

2

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3132016 Not All Dr Seuss Books Are Classics Trust Us - Bitter Empire

httpbitterempirecomnot-dr-seuss-books-classics-trust-us 1919

this phase too Keep offering choices Readbooks that reinforce those choices Mydaughters daddy wears lots of pinks and hellip

that this study does indeed have numerouslimitations ndash and its conclusions are inaccurateand misleading Most energy drinks have hellip

Snow In The Mountains1 comment bull 3 months ago

Truly Madly Derply mdash Beautifully written theending was simple and superb Just onequestion how exactly did you get inside my

A Very Murray Christmas and the Death ofWallpaper Entertainment1 comment bull 3 months ago

marxalot mdash Netflix would be the perfect serviceto deliver moving wallpaper an endless

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