NATURAL HISTORY OF RELATIONSHIPS Communication as a developmental continuum.
-
Upload
arnold-simmons -
Category
Documents
-
view
217 -
download
0
Transcript of NATURAL HISTORY OF RELATIONSHIPS Communication as a developmental continuum.
![Page 1: NATURAL HISTORY OF RELATIONSHIPS Communication as a developmental continuum.](https://reader036.fdocuments.us/reader036/viewer/2022062409/56649ebc5503460f94bc55a3/html5/thumbnails/1.jpg)
NATURAL HISTORY OF RELATIONSHIPS
Communication as a developmental continuum
![Page 2: NATURAL HISTORY OF RELATIONSHIPS Communication as a developmental continuum.](https://reader036.fdocuments.us/reader036/viewer/2022062409/56649ebc5503460f94bc55a3/html5/thumbnails/2.jpg)
Stage 1: INITIAL ATTRACTIONINITIAL ATTRACTION
• STEP 1: Becoming aware of the other– Is X attractive?– Attend to the novel/unusual– See physical attributes– Drawn to the non-threatening– See behavior next– Draw Inferences about person
![Page 3: NATURAL HISTORY OF RELATIONSHIPS Communication as a developmental continuum.](https://reader036.fdocuments.us/reader036/viewer/2022062409/56649ebc5503460f94bc55a3/html5/thumbnails/3.jpg)
• STEP 2: Deciding to Talk• Will they find me attractive
• STEP 3: Exit or continue• Search for similarities
• STEP 4: Make Behavior pleasing to partner– Buoy up the other’s Self-esteem
• compliment them, attend to them
– Render them favors showing your desirability or power– Agree with others– Ascribe positive characteristics to self either directly or
indirectly– But, might have to live up to “false” information later
![Page 4: NATURAL HISTORY OF RELATIONSHIPS Communication as a developmental continuum.](https://reader036.fdocuments.us/reader036/viewer/2022062409/56649ebc5503460f94bc55a3/html5/thumbnails/4.jpg)
Stage 2: GROWTH STAGEGROWTH STAGE
• STEP 1: Commitment to future interaction– Increase proximity =s increased
commitment/talk/positive feelings
• STEP 2: A Reciprocity norm– Tit for Tat initially– Time for repayment increases over time
• STEP 3: Turning points– Greater interaction =s escalators– Decreased interaction =s de-escalators– Accept or reject escalation
![Page 5: NATURAL HISTORY OF RELATIONSHIPS Communication as a developmental continuum.](https://reader036.fdocuments.us/reader036/viewer/2022062409/56649ebc5503460f94bc55a3/html5/thumbnails/5.jpg)
• Acceptance of escalator has two consequences– Differentiation - other social group
begin to see you as a couple - External result
– Identification - you identify yourself as a couple - internal result
![Page 6: NATURAL HISTORY OF RELATIONSHIPS Communication as a developmental continuum.](https://reader036.fdocuments.us/reader036/viewer/2022062409/56649ebc5503460f94bc55a3/html5/thumbnails/6.jpg)
Stage 3:
MAINTAINING A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPMAINTAINING A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
• STEP 1: Constraining relational tensions– Competing demands and
simultaneous competing tensions affect communication patterns
![Page 7: NATURAL HISTORY OF RELATIONSHIPS Communication as a developmental continuum.](https://reader036.fdocuments.us/reader036/viewer/2022062409/56649ebc5503460f94bc55a3/html5/thumbnails/7.jpg)
TensionsTensions
• OPENNESS VS PROTECTION– Want to protect our own
and their vulnerability, yet want self disclosure that sustains relationship
• HONEST VS VALIDATION– To be honest or to
support the other person
![Page 8: NATURAL HISTORY OF RELATIONSHIPS Communication as a developmental continuum.](https://reader036.fdocuments.us/reader036/viewer/2022062409/56649ebc5503460f94bc55a3/html5/thumbnails/8.jpg)
• AUTONOMY VS INTERDEPENDENCE– The need to be together & need to be apart
• PUBLIC VS PRIVATE FACE OF A RELATIONSHIP– Pressures to maintain dichotomies of
expectations
![Page 9: NATURAL HISTORY OF RELATIONSHIPS Communication as a developmental continuum.](https://reader036.fdocuments.us/reader036/viewer/2022062409/56649ebc5503460f94bc55a3/html5/thumbnails/9.jpg)
Predictability vs. NoveltyWe want to be able to predict out partner’s
ways, yet also want “new experiences.”
• Passion vs. Stability• Seek passion in a relationship, but
stability keeps it from burning out as well
![Page 10: NATURAL HISTORY OF RELATIONSHIPS Communication as a developmental continuum.](https://reader036.fdocuments.us/reader036/viewer/2022062409/56649ebc5503460f94bc55a3/html5/thumbnails/10.jpg)
• STEP 2: Rejuvenating a relationship
– Being too certain, non-spontaneous, feel need to spice it up
– Rejuvenation strategies
Threats: get excited or get a divorce
Use outside events to pep it up
![Page 11: NATURAL HISTORY OF RELATIONSHIPS Communication as a developmental continuum.](https://reader036.fdocuments.us/reader036/viewer/2022062409/56649ebc5503460f94bc55a3/html5/thumbnails/11.jpg)
Stage 4: RELATIONAL DECAYRELATIONAL DECAY
• STEP 1: Intra-psychic stage– Person grapples
privately with dissatisfaction
– Reach threshold , “I can’t stand this anymore”
– Breakup starts with negative, evaluative focus on partner
• Based on Steve Duck’s work
![Page 12: NATURAL HISTORY OF RELATIONSHIPS Communication as a developmental continuum.](https://reader036.fdocuments.us/reader036/viewer/2022062409/56649ebc5503460f94bc55a3/html5/thumbnails/12.jpg)
• STEP 2: Dyadic Phase– Begin to talk only when
relationship is in trouble--communication phase
– Talk assess joint costs of withdrawal and decreased intimacy--negotiate dissolution
– Protracted when negotiation done via avoidance
![Page 13: NATURAL HISTORY OF RELATIONSHIPS Communication as a developmental continuum.](https://reader036.fdocuments.us/reader036/viewer/2022062409/56649ebc5503460f94bc55a3/html5/thumbnails/13.jpg)
• STEP 3: Social Phase– Public presentation of dissolution to friends/social groups
– Tell your story/Gossip in Social networks– Not gossip about relational distress, outside your group; about kin to non-
kin; not become too moral/slanderous; be selective
– Men offer Sociological reason - “Her friends drive me nuts”
– Women offer Interpersonal reasons - “He was oblivious to anything I did”
![Page 14: NATURAL HISTORY OF RELATIONSHIPS Communication as a developmental continuum.](https://reader036.fdocuments.us/reader036/viewer/2022062409/56649ebc5503460f94bc55a3/html5/thumbnails/14.jpg)
• STEP 4: Grave Dressing Phase• Retrospection about final Attributions - market
your account• Go back to one another and endlessly go over it• Narratives important:
to develop understanding rehearse with persons also dissolving to re-establish own identification
• e.g., “I married the wrong person”
![Page 15: NATURAL HISTORY OF RELATIONSHIPS Communication as a developmental continuum.](https://reader036.fdocuments.us/reader036/viewer/2022062409/56649ebc5503460f94bc55a3/html5/thumbnails/15.jpg)