N E W V E N T U R E S W E S T€¦ · mountain, a river, or a tree. (For simplicity’s sake,...
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distinctions T HE Q UARTERLY N EWSLETTER FOR C LIENTS AND F RIENDS OF Autumn 2009 Can you go someplace without a driver? by James Flaherty E veryone in the modern West has taken up Freud’s vocabulary, even if they’ve never studied psychology. We ask, “what is driving me to do this?”—usually not realizing that the origin of this way of explaining things is the Viennese originator of psychoanalysis, who said that we had within us certain drives (for example, a sexual drive) that maneuver us around. We claim, with this question, that there are these forces within us, both known and unknown, that are having us take action (or in some cases refraining from taking it). Yet no one has ever seen “a drive.” That’s okay because no one has ever seen “happiness” either. We grew up learning these words in a particular culture, and when we observe certain behaviors, including how people speak and describe their experience, we say that a “drive” or “happiness” is present. The trouble begins when we forget that these words are descriptors and are not pointing to freestanding phenomena such as a mountain, a river, or a tree. (For simplicity’s sake, let’s say that these three naturally occurring objects are there, not simply because they are socially constructed – birds, fish and goats take them into account as well, something that’s never happened with a “drive” or “happiness.”) Since drives are socially constructed we might readily ask, what does using the term accomplish? For whose benefit does it exist? Is the term necessary? Does it cause more suffering than benefit? We have a choice here, you see – quite different from our relationship with, say, rivers, that will drown us whether we think they are necessary or not. (By the way, you could do the same kind of analysis with any abstract word or concept. Many people have done this. What would happen if you stopped taking some- thing like “profit” to be anything more than a made-up value?) In sum, I’m reminding us that the way we talk can facilitate our life projects, assist our unfoldment and bring us wide-ranging freedom. Or it can do the opposite. Please start to notice when you begin speaking in a way that ties you up in knots, that leaves you with few options for action, that leaves you estranged from others, that leaves you distraught. Naturally it may be easier at first to see other people doing this – wasn’t the Hundred Years’ War on this very topic? Still, see what happens when you begin to catch yourself in the middle of speaking this way. 1 N E W V E N T U R E S W E S T
Transcript of N E W V E N T U R E S W E S T€¦ · mountain, a river, or a tree. (For simplicity’s sake,...
distinctionsT h e Q u a r T e r l y N e w s l e T T e r f o r C l i e N T s a N d f r i e N d s o f
Autumn 2009
Can you go someplace without a driver?by James Flaherty
Everyone in the modern West has taken up Freud’s vocabulary, even if they’ve never studied psychology. We ask, “what is driving me to do
this?”—usually not realizing that the origin of this way of explaining things is the Viennese originator of psychoanalysis, who said that we had within us certain drives (for example, a sexual drive) that maneuver us around. We claim, with this question, that there are these forces within us, both known and unknown, that are having us take action (or in some cases refraining from taking it).
Yet no one has ever seen “a drive.” That’s okay because no one has ever seen “happiness” either. We grew up learning these words in a particular culture, and when we observe certain behaviors, including how people speak and describe their experience, we say that a “drive” or “happiness” is present. The trouble begins when we forget that these words are descriptors and are not pointing to freestanding phenomena such as a mountain, a river, or a tree. (For simplicity’s sake, let’s say that these three naturally occurring objects are there, not simply because they are socially constructed – birds, fish and goats take them into account as well, something that’s never happened with a “drive” or “happiness.”)
Since drives are socially constructed we might readily ask, what does using the term accomplish? For whose benefit does it exist? Is the term necessary? Does it cause more suffering than benefit?
We have a choice here, you see – quite different from our relationship with, say, rivers, that will drown us whether we think they are necessary or not. (By the way, you could do the same kind of analysis with any abstract word or concept. Many people have done this. What would happen if you stopped taking some-thing like “profit” to be anything more than a made-up value?)
In sum, I’m reminding us that the way we talk can facilitate our life projects, assist our unfoldment and bring us wide-ranging freedom. Or it can do the opposite. Please start to notice when you begin speaking in a way that ties you up in knots, that leaves you with few options for action, that leaves you estranged from others, that leaves you distraught. Naturally it may be easier at first to see other people doing this – wasn’t the Hundred Years’ War on this very topic? Still, see what happens when you begin to catch yourself in the middle of speaking this way.
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N E W V E N T U R E S W E S T
With all that as background, let’s return to our main topic: “drives.” My claim is that this concept doesn’t help us very much and in fact makes many people’s lives worse. It keeps power in the hands of experts who can most readily conjure a story about where/how the drive arose and how best to deal with it. Like all concepts, it brings forward a world of interlocking contexts and, in this case, a world where the best we can do is come to a truce with these powerful drives, find socially constructive (or at least minimally destructive – see American football) ways of express-ing it and hope that it doesn’t come out at the wrong moment. Much more harm than good, in my view. Note well how closed down many people are. I think this is because they are afraid of being taken over by these forces, these drives.
Let’s give up the whole idea of drives. Yes, many people might say, but what about my drive to be good or kind or generous? Any type of drive will bring us the same trouble as the sexual or aggression kinds. They come and go as they will and always remain separate from us. Not much different in fact from saying, as the early Greeks would, that I have been visited by a god, which accounts for my wanting to sleep with you or kill you.
In both of these ways of talking we people are mere robotic creatures being inhabited by something that animates us. Is that how you want to explain your-self? Why would you go for that explanation?
Here’s my offer of a better explanation. We are drawn into the world by “affordances” (here is a place where you can begin to understand what they are). We are drawn to help a crying baby, we are attracted to food when hungry, beauty pulls us in.
Affordances eliminate the separation between us and the world, between our inside and outside, between action and motivation. In other words, they can be a brilliant integrating move.
Check it out for yourself. Notice what happens when you begin to pay attention to how the world is drawing you out to be who you are at a given moment. Are you dif-ferent at a disco then at a dinner party?
Maybe one of the reasons people at-tempt to control their surroundings so much is so that it does not draw from them a response, a feeling or even a thought that’s uncomfortable or in opposition to their self-image. Do the nuns visit Chippendales?
To go back to the title of this article for just a moment, how did you really get to work today? Were you drawn or driven? And what are the consequences for who you take yourself to be, or what you say the world is and what possibilities exist for you, by how you answer?
More on this topic in the poetry that follows, the book of the quarter and the practice of the quarter.
Take care of yourself.
© New Ventures West™ 2009
PO BOX 591525 • SAN FRANCISCO • CA • 94159 • 800.332.4618 • WWW.NEWVENTURESWEST.COM
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P R A C T I C E O F T H E Q U A R T E R
© New Ventures West™ 2009
Focus: Driverless Driving
Please do this practice for 60 days.
Please stop three times a day and ask yourself the following questions. It’s important that you write down your responses, so that you can begin to observe yourself beyond your ideas of yourself and begin to notice patterns as they emerge.
During this period of time:
• Who/what drew me out into activity?
• What did this drawing forth tell me about myself? About my concerns? And about interests I didn’t even know I had?
• Whom did I draw out? How did I do that? Or was it simply a matter of being present?
• What aspect of me do I want drawn out going forward? How can I cooperate with that happening?
• What action(s) will I take from what I observed in this exercise?
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Questions/Places/Voices/Seasonsby Norman FischerSinging Horse Press, 2009Paperback, 179 pages
Here’s an extraordinary collection of poems—their range is barely pointed to by the book’s title—that will inspire, enchant, befuddle and instruct you in deep ways, many of which are hard to describe, but nonetheless are somehow felt.
Mr. Fischer—Norman to everyone who knows him—is a father and husband, Zen teacher, former abbot of the San Francisco Zen Center, founder of Everyday Zen, and the author of many books of poetry—but this is his best one.
Norman understands the twists and turns of the human psyche, the beauty, wonder and tragedy of life, the power of language to reveal and conceal, and the unknow-able mystery that holds us all (and that we ignore all this on most days).
He writes with all of this, not so much explaining but evoking, drawing us in the same way our everyday life does and somehow finding a way to remind us that we have been drawn in. (For example, if you read the poem “Questions” a few times out loud, you will laugh and awaken from the spell cast by how we talk.)
Take a few months of your life and read one of these poems each day–read it two or three times—and start to notice how everything is different, including you.
B O O K O F T H E Q U A R T E R
© New Ventures West™ 2009
––James Flaherty
Summary
Scale 0-5
Usefulness
Accessibility
Rigor
Potential toChange Reader
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P O E M S O F T H E Q U A R T E R
excerpt from Poem on the Suicide of Lucas Carlson, November 2006, Brooklyn, New Yorkby Norman Fischer
9Waving over them, the white rocks, the sea’s foam commencesTo foster life everlasting but never the sameFrom one wave to the next, why flutterOr utter any word but it’s not words I utterNor matter’s significant syllables but the sea’s breath’sIn me too & also in you—see the wheelingBirds, figments of the uber-mind, or it’sFragments of them, in one grain of an eye,One atom’s breadth’s the crooked path the thread runs onDown the corridors of essential time & end of time or bendOf time on slow sound’s turnings—well I’mNot so sure I can make sense of that but strawCan be baled, twine entangled, buttonsSewn upon a jacket
10I heard a sound it was the sea I knew it wasThe sea for eye saw & mind knew memory of seas gone byBut how did he know those seas were seasOutside a structure of distinctions, a stack of booksOr nooks where strong impressions lurk—I couldn’t hear those words, so perfectWas their music, so much fit into a mold,A language that, understanding, I foundUtterly, inescapably, confounding, yet the seaSwirled anyhow about me, birds wheeled, stars twinkledBoats bobbed & stones fell from the heavens—Can I now assign meaning to any one of themAnd can I not? Limits limit the limitless& even the limitless by virtue of thatLimits itself to that
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P O E M S O F T H E Q U A R T E R
excerpt from Charlotte’s Wayby Norman Fischer
Who’s talking is me, I’s, he’s talking, she’s, you’re talking, it’s, we’re talking, they’reTalking to themselves to each of us the talking upended casually or causallyTalk making more talk, talking about the talk of talkMess of ideas, motley stew, readings of the meters of the soul, songs without words,Term demeanors, philosophically oriented, just as cows outstanding in their fieldsEndlessly chew—Philosophical cows pondering the meaning of hay (“there is” Hispanically)Noting this, the butcher goes quietly out of business, out of his mind into mineFor blood will have its day, we all kill to live so are killed to dieI’m talking about the day this picture was takenHow young we were back then in the days of hairThe dates of when the fearless times of promises of lightI’m nobody, who are you, are you nobody tooOn an ordinary evening in New Haven?If so then how do we recognize each other or decide whereWe two shall meet—isn’t it all always about writingAfter all, it’s not the “text” it’s “writing writing writing” quite a different storyAs those who belabor the point will surely recognize—When someone says my writing’s “cerebral” what does this mean?That it’s writing: but you knew thatThough you long pretended it wasn’t so, that the sun I mentionedWas scorching the grass fragrant, even the cows pooped real pooBut I do it for the life I suppose, the life of play and symbol, life of flesh and bloodTo maybe for a second if lucky bump temporarily into what is whatHere in the majesty of the rhyme between word and worldAlways surelyWhat
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COACHING TO EXCELLENCETwo interactive days on the foundations of coaching.
Boston March 23–24Chicago December 1–2San Francisco January 12–13 March 9–10Seattle February 10–11
Cost: $695
PROFESSIONAL COACHING COURSECertification program for independent and corporate coaches. Year-long programs begin:
Chicago September 2010San Francisco March 2010 June 2010
Cost: $9,500
COACHING ROUNDTABLESOne-day free seminars for graduates and guests.
San Francisco November 21 February 20 May 8
Cost: Free
STUDY GROUP WITH JAMESMonthly conference calls with guest authorsapplying current texts to coaching cases.Quarters begin January, April, July, October.
Cost: $375/Quarter
INTEGRAL COACHING PRINCIPLESThree days for experienced coaches from other schools and disciplines.
San Francisco April 13–15 August 3–5
Cost: $1,275
COACHING FOR EMBODIMENTExperiential excercises, powerful distinctions and guided practice sessions.
Boston November 13–15Chicago July 30–August 1Portland, OR February 5–7San Francisco April 16–18
Cost: $585
MASTER CLASS“Taming the Inner Critic”Continuing education for PCC graduates.
San Francisco December 10–11Cost: $475
COACHING REUNION WEEKEND“Power: Cultivating Focus, Intentionality, & Goodness”Continuing education for PCC graduates.
San Francisco January 29–31 Washington, DC February 12–14Cost: $750
C O U R S E S C H E D U L E
Cours de coaching en français! Coaching classes in French!
Renseignez-vous sur nos programmes de formation en coaching en français à Ottawa et à Montréal.
Principes de coaching et développement intégral (3 jours)• du 17 au 19 novembre à Ottawa• du 9 au 11 février à Montréal
Formation des coachs professionnels (1 an)• À Ottawa à partir de mai 2010• À Montréal à partir d’octobre 2010
Pour en savoir plus, rendez-vous à www.convivium.com.
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Too many of us have stopped—or never started—culti-vating power because we took to heart Acton’s famous
quote: “Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolute-ly.” Yet only a very powerful person could have written those words and done all that was necessary to bring them to the world. And what is the alternative? If we don’t act powerful-ly—with clarity, precision, and persistence—our lives readily become random, our dreams remain unrealized, and the good we could bring to the world remains eternally dormant.
Besides that, if we don’t speak up, step in, and take things on, others will (as they always have). We experience every day the consequences of goodness being absent or greatly diminished in important institutions, large and small. Even on the most personal of scales, if we don’t completely live our lives, other people will attempt to live through us or live for us. All of you have seen this and you know exactly what I mean.
Power does not mean domination, selfishness or insensi-tivity. The shape it takes is fully determined by the level of personal cultivation (level of development) of the person who employs it. Interestingly enough, we must have power to cultivate ourselves; so it’s probably best to attend to both ele-ments simultaneously: becoming powerful while at the same time strengthening and deepening the roots of our goodness.
That’s exactly what we will do at our upcoming Coaching Reunion Weekend.
We will together become more focused, more able to generate and sustain our intentions, and more able to reveal and express our basic and inexhaustible goodness.
Teleclass Option
For those who want to continue studying after the weekend, we’ll have a teleclass combining the east coast and west coast folks. Also, if you can’t attend the workshop, you can partici-pate in the teleclass only (you’ll be asked to do some reading and listen to some recordings of part of the workshop).
T h e 1 8 t h A n n u a l C o a c h i n g R e u n i o n W e e k e n dw i t h J a m e s F l a h e r t y
Power: Cultivating Focus, Intentionality, and Goodness
PrerequisiteYou must have completed the Professional Coaching Course or Integral Coaching Principles.
RecertificationParticipation in either the workshop or the teleclass (or both!) counts for Integral Coach® recertification.
Workshop ScheduleSan Francisco: January 29–31Washington DC: February 12–14
Friday, 7:00 pm – 9:30 pmSaturday & Sunday, 9:00 am – 6:00 pm
Teleclass Schedule5:00–7:00 pm Pacific Time (8:00–10:00 pm Eastern Time)on these Wednesdays:2/24, 3/31, 4/28, 5/26, 6/23, 7/28
TuitionWorkshop only: $750Teleclass only: $450Workshop plus teleclass: $1,100
To RegisterCall 415.221.4618 or 800.332.4618
800.332.4618
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N V W G R A D U A T E D E P T
THE GRAD BLASTfor graduates of the Professional Coaching Courseby Devin & Stacy Flaherty
Hey there, Grads!
It’s mother-daughter team Stacy and Devin here taking over for Maryellen this quarter. As your guest columnists, we’ve decided to hijack this section to talk about our current pet project, the light of our lives, the one-and-only reason we get up in the morning: the newNVWwebsite. This is a project that has been in the works for many months, and now that Devin is on board, it’s about to spring into fruition under the sheer power of daughterly willfulness bolstered by near-infinite motherly support.
Integral Coach® Profiles on the Website
There are many exciting things about the new site, but one of the MOST exciting is the new Find-a-Coach section. Now potential clients will be able to find you by searching by name, geographical area, or keyword to access our database of certified Integral Coaches® anywhere in the world. You will be able to update your own contact information, post a bio of any length, and upload a picture. Also, you will be completely in control of key words that can be used to find you. Basically, it’s totally, absolutely, and incontrovertibly fantastic.
Many of you got an e-mail about this feature last week, and some of you have already signed up. For those of you who haven’t made a profile yet, get your tooshes in gear and create a profile! For those of you who didn’t get the e-mail, this means your certification isn’t up to date. But, never fear! In order to post a profile to the Find-a-Coach section, all you have to do is get recertified.
Coaching for Embodiment, with Steve March Boston, November 13–15 or Portland, January 15–17 $585
In this course, you will learn a powerful way to observe the six dimensions of embodiment and a simple methodology for using somatic practices to create last-ing shifts in your clients’ lives. Steve is a Certified Somatic Coach and has been trained in Somatic Bodywork from Strozzi Institute. Join us for this enlivening 2 ¼-day course to rediscover your body as a source of transformative power.
Great Ways to Get Recertified in the Coming Months
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N V W G R A D U A T E D E P T
Master Class with Sarita Chawla Generating Creativity and Resilience Under Pressure: Pushing Back the Inner Critic ADDED CLASS! San Francisco, December10–11 $475
Returning to a life of joy, meaning, creativity and fulfillment is possible. And on the horizon. In this Master Class we will work to tame and dis-mantle the grip of the inner voices of our critic that rob us of our self-es-teem and vigor. We will learn ways to free up this misdirected energy and use our imagination and inner resources towards manifesting a life worth living for ourselves, our families and our clients.
Coaching Reunion Weekend with James Flaherty Power: Cultivating Focus, Intentionality, and Goodness San Francisco, January 29–31; Washington DC, February 12–14 $750
Power does not mean domination, selfishness or insensitivity. The shape it takes is fully determined by the level of personal cultivation (level of development) of the person who employs it. Interestingly enough, we must have power to cultivate ourselves; so it’s probably best to attend to both elements simultaneously – becoming powerful while the same time strengthening and deepening the roots of our goodness. That’s exactly what we will do at our upcoming Coaching Reunion Weekend.
Book Study Group Teleclass, beginning January 1 $375
The Group gives you chance to read three books each quarter and then discuss the books with your peers, James Flaherty, and the author of the book on monthly teleconferences. This winter, we’ll begin by reading Grace Schireson’s just published Zen Women: Beyond Tea Ladies, Iron Maidens, and Macho Masters. In February, we’ll read Joan C. King’s The Code of Authentic Living: Cellular Wisdom, and we’ll finish the quarter off with Mick Quinn’s The Uncommon Path of Awakening Authentic Joy. A truly wonderful opportunity to participate in the Integral Coaching community and stay up to date on pertinent reading! We invite you to join us as we learn, connect, and gain insight. (Two quarters of participation in the Book Study Group is required for recertification.)
To enroll in any class, call us at 415.221.4618 or 800.332.4618.
Keep Up the Good Work
We can’t wait to launch the new website, and you’ll hear all about it as soon as we do… If you have any questions about these programs or about your recertification status, call Maryellen at 800.332.3618 or email her: [email protected]. Meanwhile, get yourself recertified, get your coach profile up, and keep up that great coaching!
Warmly,
Devin & Stacy
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