Module 7 Exception Questions HO...Human Connections Changing Lives Address: PO Box 8281, Glenmore...

Human Connections

Changing Lives

Address: PO Box 8281, Glenmore Park NSW 2745 Website: © 2013 www.humanconnections.com.au Email: [email protected]

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NAME:

Human Connections

Changing Lives


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Exceptions: The Difference That Makes a Difference Regardless of the magnitude of the problems, there are situations or times when the problem does not happen

or is less severe. These are called EXCEPTIONS to the problem. Solutions can be unearthed by examining

the differences between times when the problem has occurred and times when it has not. Clients often simply

need to do more of what is already working, until the problem no longer exists.

1. What is different about the times when… (You are getting along, there are dry beds, he goes to school,

etc.)? When are there times when you would expect the problem to happen but it doesn’t? Tell me

about the times when the problem doesn’t happen or doesn’t worry you. Can you give me an

example? Tell me what happens then.

• If the client cannot report an exception, express surprise.

• Suggest some possibilities that might account for things going smoothly.

• Exceptions should be couched positively, i.e. ‘getting along’ rather than ‘when you aren’t

fighting’.

• When clients insist there are never times when the problem does not happen, ask When is it

less severe, less frequent, less intense, or shorter in duration?

• Suggest more absurd ideas to demonstrate there are exceptions. Does he do what you tell

him to do when you ask him to have ice cream? Does it happen when you are sleeping?

• Use puzzled scepticism rather than crusading zeal. I’m still puzzled as to how you managed

to avoid, this time, becoming caught up in your usual angry response? It can’t have been

easy. Most people would have lost their temper in the first few seconds. Given what you have

told me about your situation, I’m surprised that things aren’t much worse. How have you kept

going?

2. Asking clients to take credit for what is working.

How do you get that to happen? How do you account for your ability to do this? Where did you get the idea to

do it differently then?

1. Client might respond, I didn’t do anything, they just stopped picking on me.

2. Counsellor / helper might respond, what would others say you are doing differently?

3. How does your day go differently when…(the exception happens)? What else do you do differently

when you get confident that you can manage the problem?

This enables the client to trace the positive impact a small or large exception can have on their lives. It helps

to amplify what is beneficial and highlights the interconnectedness between good things happening in one

area and those in other areas.

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EXCEPTIONS ELICITATIONS

With a goal statement: When does what you want happen most? With a problem statement: Tell me about times when the problem is not happening. Or when it is less severe. Contextual Differences You mentioned earlier that some times are better than others. What is it like during these times? Specifications Within the Client’s frame of reference: What do you do differently? How do you think differently? From outside the Client’s frame of reference: How do others perceive you as acting differently? If others think you are acting differently, how do they act differently? Pursuing the goal of continuing exceptions How will you keep this going? How do you predict that you will keep this going? How will others know that you are keeping this going?

Notes

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Looking for exceptions in our clients: seeing beyond the problem

When clients present to us engulfed in their problems, we can struggle to see past their problems and notice anything else. To some extent, this is what they want – if all we see is their problem it may increase the chance of us solving it. Even when we’ve been working with a client for a length of time, we may lose sight that there are many other facets to the person other than their problem. This simple exercise encourages you to see more than just that problem. And in answering these questions you might get an insight into possible solutions within your clients.

Exercise: Looking for exceptions in our clients

Think of three things you admire about a client you are working with despite the difficulties of the case

Think of five non-‐problem related things about your client

Think of five positive things you have done to help the client.

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Exercise: Miracle Question A step-‐by-‐step guide to asking and expanding on the Miracle Question

1 Preamble: explain to the client you’re going to ask them a bit of a strange question. I was hoping I could ask you a little bit of an unusual question?

2 Set the scene: using guided imagery, set the scene for the client, getting them comfortable, ready to sleep, ready for the miracle! Remember to use the client’s language and the information they have already given you.

3 The question: Suppose that tonight while you are asleep, a miracle happens, and all the problems that brought you here today disappeared/improved. As this miracle occurs while you are sleeping, you do not immediately know that it has happened. When you wake up, what will be the first small sign that you will notice that will tell you that the miracle has happened?

4 Client’s response: Make a note of: a.) Changes in feelings

b.) Changes in thoughts

c.) What the client will be doing differently

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Exercise: Miracle Question A step-‐by-‐step guide to asking and expanding on the Miracle Question

6 Who will notice that this miracle has happened? Ask specific questions using information gathered from earlier in the session. For example:

What will your friends or parents notice that was different if this miracle happened?

7 What difference will all this make?

8 Is any of this happening already – maybe a tiny bit? (Exceptions)

9 What’s the first thing you could do to move closer to parts of this miracle happening? How could you influence your life to make this miracle come true? And then what?

5 What else?

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Scaling Questions Scaling questions can be used to assess the Client’s esteem, self confidence, investment in change,

willingness to work hard to bring about desired changes, prioritising of the problems to be solved, perceptions

of hopefulness, evaluation of progress and so on – things considered too abstract to concretise.

1. Start with identifying the area for scaling.

On a scale ranging from zero to ten where zero represents things at their worst and ten represents how things

will be when the problems are resolved, where would you place yourself today?

If zero represents ‘I don’t care’ and ten represents “I can really do this”, where would you place today?

2. What will be happening when they reach their goal on the scale?

What will be happening when you are at 10?

3. What steps do they need to take? What will be happening when you are on the way to 10? What would it take for you to move up a half a point

or even one point on the scale?

If, by the next session you managed to reach five, the halfway, mark, what are the new things that you are

going to tell me about?

4. What would others notice / say?

When you move form a 5 to a 6 what would others notice about you that they don’t notice now?

If your friends were here and I was to ask them, where would they put you on a scale now?

What would she / he say you needed to do, in order to move up one point on the scale?

5. How will others be different when they notice the differences?

When your mother notices these differences in you, what do you suppose she will do differently with you?

6. Past Successes

Let’s say that 10 means the best you can imagine feeling about yourself and 1 is the worst, what is the highest

you can imagine feeling about yourself? What were you doing differently at that time? What would it take for

you to make that happen again? When the figure improves one point, what will be going on in your life that is

not going on now? What is the first step you need to take to make it happen now?

7. Past failures

What is the lowest you ever felt? What did you do to get out of that?

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Scaling Scaling is a way to map progress, change and expectations.

Where are you now? What would it take to move up one point? (say 3 4) What will be happening when you are at 4? What else?

You can scale for motivation

You can scale for hope

You can scale for subjects e.g.,

How will you know you have moved up a point? What will be different?

0 5 10hopeless No problems

in class

0 5 10I am determined to do better

No motivation

0 5 10I am certain I can behave

I’ll never behavein class

0 5 10Maths is greatMaths is

hopeless

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Pathways of Constructing Solutions Establish the purpose of the interview. Assess motivation for change.

GOAL OR PROBLEM

ü What would you like to talk about?

ü How do you think our chat can be helpful to you?

ü How would you like things to be different?

ü How much would you like this to change?

Zero is not at all and ten is very much! ü What would happen if nothing

changes?

Hypothetical Solutions Miracle Question

Use your imagination…

Suppose that tonight, as you slept, there

was a miracle, and what you are speaking to me about has improved / became much

better?

ü What would you be doing differently?

Criteria For Well Defined Goals

ü In the positive ü In a process form

ü In the here and now ü As specific as possible ü In the client’s control

ü In the client’s language

Exceptions

ü How is this happening now? ü When doesn’t this happen?

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Being more solution focused helps us to really look into how change happened and why. By doing that we can try to come up with an answer to the question, ‘How does change happen?’ And the majority of the time the answer will be unique – the way I try to make change happen will be different from the next person. Neither of us is wrong. No one is better than the other.

Summary of tools for change in Solution Focused Therapy Stage of Change

Tools in SFT Examples of change focused questions

Preparation Search for client resources. Preferred future – the Miracle Question. Goal setting

What is it that you could use to help make this change? When this change has been made, what is it that you see as being different in your life?

Action Behavioural experiments. Exceptions. Reframing.

How do you think things would be different if you tried relaxing every day instead of just once a week? Are there times when you’ve felt some of these changes have occurred already?

Maintenance Compliments. Relational questions. Scaling.

How could you maintain this change? Who else has noticed that a change has started to happen? That sounds like a great change – how did you manage to do that? If you are currently at an eight on your scale of where you want to be, what would being a nine look like?

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ACTION PLAN

What would you need to do in the next few days to ensure you apply some of these skills?

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE

ABOUT HUMAN CONNECTIONS

Human Connections is an Australian business based in Sydney, committed to connecting people in schools, families and the workplace. With qualifications and university degrees in both education and counselling Rocky brings great experience both as a teacher, Year Coordinator, therapist and life coach.

Rocky has successfully conducted presentations to thousands of clients. In particular, he has focused on the transition into senior school. His focus on emotion and stress management, motivation and peak performance brings to clients the latest techniques used by successful corporate and sporting people around the world. Clients will participate and experience techniques in energy psychology, Neuro-Linguistic programming, self-hypnosis and meditation.

What we do: Go to www.humanconnections.com.au to find out more.

1. Peak Performance Student Sessions: These student sessions are mostly targeted to Year 7 (Big Fish into Little Fish Workshop) 10, 11 and 12 students. The focus is on motivation, goals and emotion management techniques. The information pack has further details. However, the sessions are between 90 minutes and a whole day workshop. In addition, we hold study skills days with Prue Salter from ELES where the group is split in half and each spends half a day with a presenter.

2. Parent Evenings: The parent evenings were born from the overwhelming feedback by

students that a major part of their pressure was from their parents. The session runs for 60 minutes and is titled, “Helping your child through senior school and the HSC.”

3. Counselling: Rocky Biasi from Human Connections is a clinical Member of the Counsellors

and Psychotherapists Association of NSW and runs a private practice. In addition, Rocky offers counselling to teachers and clients in a variety of schools.

4. Professional Development and Mentoring: Human Connections conducts a range of

professional development workshops, including “The Accidental Counsellor”, “Teaching Toward Success - Helping Clients Reach their Academic Potential” and “Conscious Classroom Management.

Please note: all materials in this handout are protected by copyright. If you wish to use any of this material with clients/parents you need to acknowledge the source as follows: Source: www.humanconnections.com.au

As director of Human Connections, Rocky Biasi is a classroom management and interpersonal skills specialist with a practical approach to behaviour management.

With over 15 years’ experience as a counselor, teacher and Year Coordinator to every year group from Yr 7 – 12, Rocky has a wealth of experience both practical and theoretical that can help teachers and schools work toward becoming more effective and efficient in their roles.

His extensive training and research from the field of Peak Performance Psychology equips him to consult with teachers and clients about how to move from where they are to where they want to be.

Module 7 Exception Questions HO...Human Connections Changing Lives Address: PO Box 8281, Glenmore...

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