Men Don't Pee Straight - by Mr. Rick Dean
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And Lots Of Other Stuff You’ve Probably Realized About Us A Workbook For Women A Better Bathroom Books Release Men Don’t Pee Straight Mr. Rick Dean
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Chock full of stuff about men that you’ve always known but never wished to fully grasp and always hoped would change, Men Don’t Pee Straight confirms your worst fear – those male stereotypes are real, they are accurate, and they are here to stay.
Transcript of Men Don't Pee Straight - by Mr. Rick Dean
And Lots Of Other Stuff You’ve Probably Realized About Us A Workbook For Women
A Better Bathroom Books Release
hock full of stuff about men that you’ve always known but never wished to fully grasp and always …. hoped would change, Men Don’t Pee
Straight confirms your worst fear – those male stereotypes are real, they are accurate, and they are here to stay.
Blunt and comedic, these cartoon illustrated pages soften the sad reality …
A bit about the author: While carefully blundering through one relationship after another, Rick Dean has achieved an astonishing level of understanding and experience with how not to maintain a relationship. He enjoys sharing that level of acumen (or at least what he would like to believe is acumen) with cartoon illustrated literature such as Men Don’t Pee Straight.
Rick spends the balance of his time flying his small aircraft on humanitarian flights for organizations such as AngelFlight.
for many mothers, girlfriends, and wives who have been hoping for change. The best anyone can do is simply grimace, shrug, and then perhaps smile.
From man caves and driving thru fragile egos and toilet seats, this poignant yet tactless book will assist with that smile.
Men Don’t Pee Straight Mr. Rick Dean
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And Lots Of Other Stuff You’ve Probably Realized About Us A Workbook For Women
So you can write it down and keep track although, since you never forget anything,
there's probably no need to write it down. But it still might be useful when
explaining stuff to us that really bugs you. (And we're really glad to help in any way possible)
Rick Dean
Cartoon illustrations courtesy of Ron Leishman. Copyright © 2013 by Rick Dean, Islamorada, Florida, USA. All rights reserved. ISBN-13: 978-1490460550
Available for purchase at various retail outlets1.
Disclaimers: To the best of Rick Dean’s knowledge the Bureau of Better Bathroom
Books is purely fictional as are any references he may make to that bureau. Any claims that this is the best bathroom book in the universe were not actually validated in most solar systems including ours.
1Probably not appearing soon at a theater near you.
Caution: Refrigerate After Opening
About This Book
Over the years, I’ve been told that I have certain male traits that are a bit annoying at times. Try as I might, I had difficulty managing an adequate level of self-awareness with respect to these traits (or so I was told…). So I started writing them down… and adding multiple choices to make it easier for the most common traits to be tracked. And so it went. Fortunately (for my fragile male ego’s sake), I found I was not alone. The list grew as I started including traits common to my friends. I realized the “rolling of the eyes” was a common reaction among many spouses and girlfriends. The “List”, as my friends came to know it, also became helpful for spouses and girlfriends as some started using it as a healthy alternative to eye-rolling. Then Ron Leishman came along with his cartoons and the list took on a whole new level. Yes, it is exaggerated (or is it?), and yes, some of you who have non-stereotypical partners may think this is simply not funny. Allow me to assure you that you are mistaken. It is most certainly funny… in fact it borders on hilarious. At any rate, now that I’ve most certainly convinced you of the hilarity that follows, I do hope you enjoy Men Don’t Pee Straight. It is the result of many years of research, trials, and errors.
Rick Dean [email protected]
Men Don't Relate Very Well (IBM Figured It Out)
In 1970, Edgar Frank "Ted" Codd, a British Engineer working
for IBM, had an incredible break thru. Instead of storing
data in a single sequential list, he started storing data in
many interrelated records of lists.
This is how women think. It is not how we think.
We handle one thing at a time from a single [and very short]
list. We rarely get past the first couple items on the list.
Primarily, these are:
Food. Sex. Sleep.
Men Don’t Pee Straight
~ 4 ~
Date: ____/____/_____
He was single minded for:
food
sex
sleep
other ____________
Date: ____/____/_____
He was single minded for:
eating something
drinking something
sleeping w/something
other ____________
~ 5 ~
Date: ____/____/_____
He was single minded for:
sleep
food
sleeping with food
other ____________
Date: ____/____/_____
He was single minded in:
avoiding chores
avoiding my mother
avoiding me
other ____________
A Woman’s Mind A Man’s Mind Rover’s Mind
Men Don’t Relate Very well
~ 6 ~
A list of other verbs a tool can do that make us very happy:
Maul. Pulverize. Saw. Decimate.
You can never go wrong by constantly expressing
admiration for our power tools.
This deep love extends past power tools into heavy
machinery of any kind... and dynamite. If it can drill, cut,
destroy, dig, push, crush, burn, flatten, screw, hammer,
weld, or twist, then men sincerely and deeply respect and
love it.
Men Love Power Tools (They’re Really Loud And Really Cool)
Men Don’t Pee Straight
~ 7 ~
Date: ____/____/_____
He loves his tools:
a lot
more than me
more than anything
other ____________
Date: ____/____/_____
He sat and stared at his tools:
for an afternoon
happily
instead of doing chores
other ____________
Date: ____/____/_____
He happily drilled for:
2 hours
8 hours
2 days
other ____________
Date: ____/____/_____
He expressed love for his:
drill
power screw driver
band saw
other ____________
Men Love Power Tools
Men Love Beer (But Will Pretend To Understand Wine)
Beer is simple and makes everything more manly. Wine, on
the other hand, is more complex, can take years to age, and
needs to breathe.
Beer is already asphyxiated. We like that about beer.
Other drinks we like:
Beer in a red solo cup. Beer in a can. Beer in a bottle. Beer in a glass. Red Bull.
Men Don’t Pee Straight
~ 8 ~
~ 9 ~
Date: ____/____/_____
He had a beer instead of:
hugging me
helping with laundry
going to therapy
other ____________
Date: ____/____/_____
He had a beer instead of:
wine
cuddling
washing dishes
other ____________
Date: ____/____/_____
His man cave has:
6 cases of beer in the fridge
a keg of beer
beer on tap
other ____________
Date: ____/____/_____
At dinner, instead of wine he:
had beer in a red solo cup
had beer in a bottle
had beer in a can
other ____________
Men Love Beer
Men Need A Cave (For The Tools, beer, And Stories)
The concept of man-cave has been around since... well... the
caveman days. And, as is very clear, they are the caveman
days… not the cave woman days... or the days previously
known as the cave woman days... or the days of the
woman's movement for the liberation of caves.
We will disappear for long periods of time into our cave. To do really manly stuff.
Really manly stuff only we can truly comprehend.
Stuff we do in our caves:
Tell stories. Use our power tools. Drink beer. Watch TV. Sit on the couch, watch TV, tell stories and drink beer.
Men Don’t Pee Straight
~ 10 ~
~ 11 ~
Date: ____/____/_____
He let me in his cave:
once
never
never ever
other ____________
Date: ____/____/_____
He disappeared into his cave:
all day
all weekend
all month
other ____________
Date: ____/____/_____
In his cave, he:
watched TV
drank beer
told really fictional stories
other ____________
Date: ____/____/_____
In his cave he has:
power tools
a car
a couch
other ____________
Men Need A Cave
