Live Report: The Ark Cruise (/live/live-report-the-ark-

cruise)

Clash sets sail in the Mediterranean...

Setting sail for its debut dose of Mediterranean madness, 4,000 party-ready

Europeans and 90 of the biggest names in dance music board the Royal Caribbean

for a four-day excursion away from reality.

Leaving an unusually sunny London behind for a disappointingly rainy, gloomy

looking Barcelona, it seems like the UK and European weather has swapped around

when we land.

After getting our room cards and wristbands, myself and the other journalists are

urged to get together for a group photo (the first of many onboard the Freedom of

the Seas) as if we’re on a family holiday.

Stepping onboard our home for the weekend, we’re greeted by a troupe of nautical-

themed performers: it makes the ‘maiden voyage’ more of a story, a bit like

Tomorrowland.

With massive names in the dance world like Ministry of Sound, Elrow, and Deep

House Amsterdam onboard, indoor and outdoor stages, and an impressive genre-

spanning line-up, The Ark Cruise is the perfect festival-holiday combination.

Add to that at least a dozen non-music-related activities and it’s clear that sleeping

isn’t really an option. With music running from until the early hours, there’s always

something to be seen or explored. The top deck alone, overlooking the

Mediterranean Sea, boasts a surf simulator, mini-golf course, rock climbing wall and

full-size basketball court.

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CLASHMUSIC / LIVE (/LIVE-0) / 18 · 09 · 2017 29

The Ark Cruise (Credit: Leyla Hesna)

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It’s also possible to treat The Ark as a relaxing retreat - thanks to midday yoga

sessions, a gigantic shopping mall, sauna, multiple hot tubs (some overlooking the

sea) and swimming pools. You can even get married onboard, at the Skylight

wedding chapel!

Logistically, there are multiple benefits of holding a festival on an all-inclusive cruise

ship: the endless amount of varying cuisines available at different restaurants, extra

friendly staff who want to make sure everyone’s having a great time all of the time

(it’s what they do every week, after all), clean toilets in the cabin rooms and, perhaps

most appealingly, a comfy bed…

Thursday night belongs to arguably the wildest party hosts in the world, Elrow, who

transform the top deck into a tech-house-filled vibrant world as part of their

Sambodromo do Brasil theme. From the early evening through to 2am, the stage is

packed with party-ready cruise-goers amongst the colourful foliage, trippy hanging

flowers, parrots and a giant chicken. Take into account that this is all happening in

the middle of the Mediterranean Sea, and it’s a pretty surreal feeling.

It wouldn’t be an Elrow party without a stream of stilt performers – giraffes,

chickens, shuffling cavemen and men carrying fake bowls of fruit on their head –

making their way into the crowd battling the harsh winds, ensuring everything

becomes weirder and wilder.

This all happens whilst a woman who looks like she could be model dives straight

into the hot tub, whilst wearing sunglasses and a ‘Rose’ All Day’ swimsuit’ and a man

in his 50s dressed in a skimpy kaleidoscopic eye-popping bathing suit joins in

seconds later.

Sonically, the sound is impressively clear and punchy, with speakers spread around

the open air top deck. Starting with Elrow resident Toni Varga’s pumping tech-house,

by 9pm the oval dancefloor in-between two precariously-placed swimming pools is

rammed (thankfully, there are lifeguards surveying the area 24/7). Hot Creations

favourite Richy Ahmed capitalises on the atmosphere with chunky house and

techno selections like Cirez D’s ‘Off On’ and Mella Dee’s ‘Take Off’.

The Deep, a spacious theatre transformed into a feel-good club, is another of

CLASH’s favourite stages. With seats on the upper level surrounding the makeshift

dancefloor, sets by house favourites Roger Sanchez and Claptone can be enjoyed

whilst sat down, or upfront next to the near-deafening speakers. The bass makes

your body shake. Jellyfish and balloons hang from the ceiling as Dave Lambert’s

strobe-heavy vocal house groovers create an energetic, upbeat atmosphere.

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On deck five is the more intimate Reef stage - a hard to find, carpeted room with

mermaid performers welcoming guests. Once inside, starry spotlights and shell-

covered fish nets hang, creating a sort of underwater experience, soundtracked by

techno veterans Sven Vath and Chris Leibing. When Cocoon boss Sven drops Patrice

Baumel’s massive ‘Glutes’ and the room goes almost pitch black, it’s a real moment.

Twelve hours later, back on the top deck, there’s a completely different vibe as Girls

Love DJs opt for more commercial house while hundreds of bikini-clad twenty-

somethings and chest-bearing guys take in the blazing sun relaxing on sunbeds.

Finding our own space on possibly the highest point of the ship, the Lagoon stage, it’s

the perfect way to spend a Friday afternoon.

Friday night belongs to Henrik Schwarz, who delivers an hour of acid-tinged, vocal-

led techno and house inside The Reef. With pink and blue strobes lighting up the

crowd overhead, selections like ‘Not Also You’ and his ridiculously infectious edit of

Emmanuel Jal’s ‘Kuar’ fit the atmosphere perfectly.

Stephan Bodzin follows follows in a similar vein, offering stomping yet melodic

techno, whilst towering over the DJ decks. After a hardware-driven live set from

KiNK – for which a smile never leaves the Bulgarian DJ and producer’s face – things

get a lot harder thanks to techno heavyweights Matador and Chris Liebing, taking

those left standing through to 8am.

Expectedly, the first Ark Cruise is not without its teething problems: the strong wind

means the Lagoon stage - which was set to host sunrise sessions from Axel Boman

and Robag - is shut down before even opening. Instead, it’s combined with The Reef.

Consequently, due to rescheduled set times and changed locations, Peggy Gou is left

playing to just a handful of people (though her selections were worthy of a packed

room). Later, Gerd Janson - who’s obscure, funky house selections would usually

attract hundreds, if not thousands – is left with an intimate crowd of just 20…

Weirdly, one of the highlights of CLASH’s weekend ends up being an Irish pub where

a Welsh performer gets everyone singing along to guitar-led classics by Oasis, Ed

Sheeran and Kings Of Leon every night. Creating a real community spirit, with

Australian, Belgian, Dutch and English people putting their worries aside, it’s no

wonder the guitarist has such a big smile on his face throughout. It’s cheesy, but fun

and unifying all the same: exactly what’s needed on a festival cruise.

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Words: Ben Jolley

Join us on Vero (https://getvero.app.link/R6I0B0Qj6B), as we get under the skin of

global cultural happenings. Follow Clash Magazine

(https://getvero.app.link/R6I0B0Qj6B) as we skip merrily between clubs, concerts,

interviews and photo shoots. Get backstage sneak peeks and a true view into our world

as the fun and games unfold.

Buy Clash Magazine (http://clashmagazine.tictail.com/)

: The Ark Cruise, live review

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