Listening to LearnListening to Learn

[NAME}Troop Guide

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Listening to LearnListening to LearnProvide ground rules:

•Note taking is encouraged-Objectives given out

•Additional Handouts at end of presentation

•Ask questions when you have them

1A

The most important leadership skill is Communication. The most important communication skill is Listening.

Have you ever been in a situation where people weren’t listening?Or you thought they were, but they misunderstood? Or perhaps you misunderstood? Or perhaps you understood what they said, but you didn’t fully appreciate the importance to them?

Do you know how to listen effectively? Effective listening is key to many of the other leadership skills, so it is the first one taught in Wood Badge.

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Learning ObjectivesLearning Objectives Become aware of how we listen.Explore good listening as a

communication skill.Practice the skills of active and

empathetic listening.Examine the relationship between

listening skills and the receiving and giving of feedback.

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Learning ObjectivesLearning Objectives Become aware of how we listen.Explore good listening as a

communication skill.Practice the skills of active and

empathetic listening.Examine the relationship between

listening skills and the receiving and giving of feedback.

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Role PlayRole Play

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Let’s talk about a recent trip or vacation.

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Role Play: Instructions: group into pairs, one speaker/one listener. Speaker talks to listener for 1-2 minutes about a recent trip or vacation. Listener is given behavior card to follow. Behaviors are: Interrupt the speaker; give advice before speaker is done; give blank look; be bored.

Discussion: Put answers on flip chart

Ask speakers: What did you just experience?

How did the reactions of the listeners affect you?

Ask the listeners: How did the speakers respond to your behavior?

What is Listening?

Why is listening such an important part of learning?

Listening is an essential part of communication, yet we take it for granted. We don’t teach it in our schools. There are courses on writing and in public speaking, but seldom does a course focus on the skill of listening.

This Wood Badge session is designed to change that. By making ourselves aware of the importance of listening and the ways in which we do it, all of us can more effectively use listening as a tool for learning and for leadership.

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Why is listening a Why is listening a key skill of key skill of leadership?leadership?

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4A

Solicit responses and put on flip chart.

Why is listening a Why is listening a key skill of key skill of leadership?leadership?

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Listening is a primary means for connecting with other people.

Listening provides the means to make decisions and solve problems.

Why is Listening a Key Skill of Leadership?

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• Listening provides the means to make decisions and solve problems

Listening is the glue that holds a team together. It is the doorway through which ideas pass. It is the window in which solutions appear.

5A

• Listening is a primary means for connecting with other people.

Sharing ideas and experiences with one another creates a pool of familiarity among us. From that grows trust, understanding, an awareness of strengths and skills – the building blocks of friendships and teamwork.

Listening can be powerful when young people are involved. For many of Scouting age, it is unusual to have adults truly pay attention to them. Listening to them with care and understanding can be very meaningful for young people and also for the adults.

Why is Listening a Key Skill of Leadership?

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““Seek first to understandSeek first to understandthen be understood”then be understood”

Stephen Covey, Stephen Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly The Seven Habits of Highly Effective PeopleEffective People

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““Seek first to understandSeek first to understandthen be understood”then be understood”

Stephen CoveyStephen Covey

Stephen R. Covey is chairman and founder of Covey Leadership Center.

He is author of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”, with over 12 million copies sold in 32 languages.

Known internationally as an author, lecturer, teacher and leadership mentor.

Trained thousands of leaders in business, industry, education and government in the principles of management and leadership development.

There are two types of effective listening active and empathetic.

What do you think active listening means? Board them.

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Two Parts of Effective ListeningTwo Parts of Effective Listening

Active Listening Reflects back Rephrases No value judgments Strives to hear the message Looks for the main thought or idea

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Two Parts of Effective Listening Two Parts of Effective Listening Active ListeningActive Listening

Reflects back what a person is saying to confirm comprehension “What I understand you to be saying is this…”

By rephrasing the information and bouncing it back to the speaker, the listener confirms that the message has been correctly received.

Listeners doing this are not making value judgments. They are simply making sure they are hearing what the

speakers have to say and they are letting the speakers know that their messages are getting through.

A good listener looks for the main thought or idea. We don’t all think the same way – some will first state the big picture, others will start with the details. A skilled listener can extract the message regardless of the style of the speaker.

Q: Now we know what Active Listening is…What is Empathetic Listening? Put answers on flip chart

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Two Parts of Effective ListeningTwo Parts of Effective Listening

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Empathetic Listening Sincere attempt to understand Pay attention to body language, tone of

voice, emotional sense Imagine things from the speaker’s point

of view

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Two Parts of Effective Listening Two Parts of Effective Listening Empathetic ListeningEmpathetic Listening

Sincere attempt on the part of a listener to understand in depth what a speaker is saying.

Empathetic listeners pay attention to more than just the words they hear. They also take care to notice a speaker’s body language, tone of voice, and emotional sense and consider them part of the message package the speaker is sending.

Requires listeners to:– Put themselves in the speaker’s place– Imagine things from the speaker’s point of view– Try to understand how the speaker feels

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Exercise in Effective Exercise in Effective ListeningListening• Simply say “I got it”

• Respond by rephrasing the message.

• Rephrase the message, and also share any deeper understanding of the speaker’s feelings.

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Exercise in Effective ListeningExercise in Effective Listening• Participants form pairs – one speaker, one listener

• For several minutes, the speakers will talk about something they enjoy (hobby, sport, or family activity)

• Listeners will try out different listening styles:

• Pay close attention and acknowledge a speaker’s message simply by saying, “I got it.” Offer no further feedback or judgment.

• Pay close attention and respond by rephrasing the message.

• Rephrase the message, and also share any deeper understanding of the speakers’ feelings. Listeners should take into consideration the speakers’ body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, and other spoken and silent signals that will help enhance understanding.

• Listeners and speakers trade roles and repeat the exercise. Now ask Which style was the most effective?

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Effective Listening:

Active and

Empathetic10NE7-388-11-2

Effective Listening:

Active and

Empathetic10ANE7-388-11-2

Monitoring Monitoring Our Our

Listening Listening LevelLevel

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11A

Monitoring our Listening LevelMonitoring our Listening LevelHow do you respond –

A key to effective listening is being aware of our current situation, energy level and interest.

• If we are upset, it may affect how we listen.• Being drowsy will impact our attention span.

• What if you are chilly, hot, or late for another appointment?

• When you are hearing something you don’t want to hear?• When a speaker is angry?• When you are tired or hungry?

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Monitoring Monitoring Our Our

Listening Listening LevelLevel

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12A

Monitoring our Listening LevelMonitoring our Listening LevelWhat are some things you can do to help you adjust to better grasp the message of a speaker?

•Focus more on what is being said.

•Call time out to put on sweater, get something to eat, take care of something distracting you, or let your emotions cool down.

Then you can get back together under conditions more conductive to good listening.

Can we control every listening situation?

Often we are in situations that make communication difficult.

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Are powerful tools for:

• calming adversarial situations

• finding solutions to problems.

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Good Listening SkillsGood Listening Skills

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13A

Good Listening SkillsGood Listening Skills

Are powerful tools for:

• calming adversarial situations

• finding solutions to problems.

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Role PlayRole Play

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Listening in Adversarial Situations

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Ask for Volunteer - You are to play the role of a scout who is very angry about the way others in his unit are treating him.

• So, what seems to be the problem? (Encourage the scout to keep talking)• I See. I hear you saying…..? (Offer no judgment or feedback)• Is there anything else?• Now we’ve heard what you don’t want (give some examples), Now tell me

what you do want……… (focus on positive aspects rather than negative ones)

Lead discussion – ask…..

What did you observe? How did the scout react to the leader listening? How did the leader show the scout that he was listening?

Would you say that speakers respond to how others are listening to them?….Acknowledge but don’t immediately judge their complaints….If there is no enabling by the listener, complaints will seem smaller and ultimately more manageable.

By taking a negative and flipping it around to a positive, a listener can also structure a more productive framework for finding solutions. (I hear what you don’t want, now tell me what you do want)

A conversation cast in a positive light naturally involves more empathy and support. Body language of listeners and speakers becomes more open, and chances for resolution are greatly enhanced.

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Listeners should always

strive to create a

positive present

as opposed to a

negative past.

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Listeners should always

strive to create a

positive present

as opposed to a

negative past.

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Giving & Giving & Receiving Receiving FeedbackFeedback

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Giving & Receiving FeedbackGiving & Receiving Feedback

Receiving feedback can sometimes be difficult. However, by using effective listening skills, a feedback situation may be turned into a positive experience.

ASK –

Have you ever had someone give you advice about something? How did it feel to be receiving feedback?

Have you ever been in a position to tell people how they can do something better? Or how they might make a positive change in their behavior? How did it feel to be offering feedback?

From time to time, all of us find ourselves giving and receiving feedback. It is a basic part of team development, of leadership, and of friendships.

For feedback to be helpful, both parties must use the skills of effective listening. Show slide on Tips on Giving/Receiving Feedback.

Also in handout form……

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Giving and Receiving FeedbackGiving and Receiving Feedback

Ask questions to build rapport. Use open-ended questions.

– Who? Why? How? Listen to their message. Be aware of your body language. Be aware of their body language.

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Giving and Receiving FeedbackGiving and Receiving Feedback

Ask questions to build rapport. Use open-ended questions.

– Who? Why? How? Listen to their message. Be aware of your body language. Be aware of their body language.

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Tips on Giving FeedbackTips on Giving Feedback Be helpful. Is recipient open to feedback? Deal only with changeable behaviors. Deal with specifics, not generalities. Describe the behavior; DO NOT evaluate

it. Describe the impact to you. Accept your responsibility. Check understanding

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Tips on Giving FeedbackTips on Giving Feedback Consider your motives. Feedback should always be

helpful; otherwise there is no reason to offer it. Find out if the other people involved are open to

receiving feedback. Listen carefully, then rephrase what they are saying to be sure you understand them.

Deal only with behavior that can be changed. Deal with specifics, not generalities. Describe the behavior; do not evaluate it. Let the other person know the impact the behavior has

on you. Use an “I” statement to accept responsibility for your

own perceptions and emotions. To make sure the recipients of feedback have understood

your message in the way you intended it, ask them to rephrase what they heard you say.

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Tips on Giving FeedbackTips on Giving Feedback

You can give caring feedback without a good

technique, but the slickest technique in the

world will not hide a lack of caring.

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Tips on Giving FeedbackTips on Giving Feedback

You can give caring feedback without a good

technique, but the slickest technique in the

world will not hide a lack of caring.

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Tips on Receiving FeedbackTips on Receiving Feedback

Seek out feedback.

Listen carefully.

Listen actively.

Listen empathetically.

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Tips on Receiving FeedbackTips on Receiving Feedback Seek out feedback. It will nearly always provide you

with information that will in some way help you improve your performance.

Listen carefully. Receiving feedback requires a heightened awareness of yourself and the person offering the feedback.

Listen actively. Restate the feedback in your own words so that the speaker knows that the message you are receiving is the same as the one the speaker intended to send. Ask clarifying questions.

Listen empathetically. Put feedback in its proper context by observing the speaker’s body language, tone of voice, and emotions. Consider the speaker’s reasons for offering feedback.

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Tips on Receiving FeedbackTips on Receiving Feedback

Try not to become angry or defensive.

Remember

– You are not a “bad” person– People still like and respect you

Retain perspective and context.

Do not discount feedback based upon the source.

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Tips on Receiving FeedbackTips on Receiving Feedback Notice how you are feeling when someone is offering

you feedback. Becoming angry or defensive can cloud your ability to listen effectively.

Having another point out your improvement areas does not make you a “bad” person.

It does not mean the person will no longer like or respect you because of your “imperfections.”

You should always put the feedback in its proper perspective and context. Constructive feedback should not be weighed disproportionately.

Do not automatically discount the feedback based upon the source.

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Consider feedback to be a gift.

It truly is.

Tips on Receiving FeedbackTips on Receiving Feedback

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Consider feedback to be a gift.

It truly is.

Tips on Receiving FeedbackTips on Receiving Feedback

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Effective Listening is a skill that each of us can learn and can constantly improve upon.

Listening plays a vital role in forming relationships, developing teams, and finding solutions.

The best listening is both active and empathetic.

Listening can be a tool in turning a negative situation into a positive one.

Listening well is an important part of both receiving and giving feedback.

Summary

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Effective Listening is a skill that each of us can learn and can constantly improve upon.

Listening plays a vital role in forming relationships, developing teams, and finding solutions.

The best listening is both active and empathetic.

Listening can be a tool in turning a negative situation into a positive one.

Listening well is an important part of both receiving and giving feedback.

Summary

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Become aware of how we listen. Explore good listening as a

communication skill. Practice the skills of active and

empathetic listening. Examine the relationship between

listening skills and the receiving and giving of feedback.

Learning Objectives Learning Objectives

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Become aware of how we listen. Explore good listening as a

communication skill. Practice the skills of active and

empathetic listening. Examine the relationship between

listening skills and the receiving and giving of feedback.

Learning Objectives Learning Objectives

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Thank You !Thank You !

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