It’s Not About Willpower: Make It a Habit!

ARDSLEY WELLNESS FAIRPresented by: Dr. Caren Baruch-Feldman

www.drbaruchfeldman.com

A Little Bit About Me

Before After

Goals for Today1. Review the latest research in habit

building and willpower (based on 4 books).

2. Help you to develop your own positive, new habits.

3. Teach you the secrets of how to maintain these new habits by being more mindful and less impulsive.

Four Books Serve as Inspiration

The BAD News

1. Our brains are lazy. 2. Glucose which releases dopamine hijacks the brain. 3.Stress makes us more susceptible to fall into bad

habits. 4. Willpower is a limited resource. 5. Glucose/sugar refuels willpower (ugh).6. We tend to be short-term as opposed to long-term

hedonists.

GOOD News1. You can build those willpower muscles.2. Since willpower is limited – need to make into

a habit so willpower is not being used. 3. Pick gateway habits (write it down,

meditation, and exercise). These types of habits build resistance muscles.

4. Develop beliefs that will inspire you, focusing on long term goals as opposed to the immediate gratification.

What the Research Tells Us In Terms of Changing A Habit

• Change one habit at a time. • Wait 10 minutes.• Pre-commit. Makes it difficult to reverse your

preferences. • Practice meditation (APPS = Take a Break;

Mindfulness Meditation)• Get social support and make it public.

What You Can Do To Change a Habit Cont…

• Be proactive. • Know your triggers. Don’t think you’ll outsmart

old habits. Instead try to avoid them.• Make it easy to be good and hard to be bad.• Give yourself credit. • Takes at least 3 weeks, sometimes even longer

to change a habit. • Change your outlook/thinking. Develop a new

belief.

Changing a Habit is Not Enough: Need to Change the Belief

• Stand firm. No wavering.• Remind yourself of the

whole story, not just the beginning.

• Stay away from- “what the heck phenomena”.

• Stay away from thinking your are doing “good”.

• “Your future self, is no better than your current self.”

• Seek to be consistent.

Beliefs

• What are your sabotaging beliefs?

• What beliefs inspire you to meet your long- term goals?

• Stand firm.• Remind yourself of the whole

story, not just the beginning.• Stay away from - “what the

heck phenomena”.• Stay away from - thinking

your are doing “good”. • “Your future self, is no better

than your current self.” • I will avoid, rather than think

I have the willpower to overcome.

Response Card: Advantage Card• A response card is a tool

that helps you change your mindset and overcome sabotaging thoughts.

• Read the card everyday and when you are struggling with a craving, temptation, or sabotaging thought.

• By reading everyday you make this into a habit.

• Make your own Advantage Card.

• My Advantage Card

• I’ll look better.• I’ll be able to wear a smaller size.• I’ll be in better health. • I’ll feel better physically. • I’ll feel more in control.

Let’s Put Our Ideas Into Practice: “Change that Habit Form”

BAD HABIT1. Write down one bad habit

that you would like to work on.

2. What is the cue, routine, and reward for this bad habit?

3. What is the sabotaging belief?

NEW, POSITIVE HABIT1. Write down one new

habit that you would like to work on.

2. What Is the cue, routine, and reward for the new habit?

3. What is the new, rational belief?

Example of Bad Habit/Good HabitBAD HABIT1. Bad Habit to Change? Getting

frustrated with my husband when he gets annoyed about small things.

2. What Is the Cue, Routine, and Reward for this Old Habit?Cue = Husband gets annoyed over small things. Routine = I get frustrated that he is annoyed and show it on my face. Reward = Get it off my chest and feel superior.

3. Sabotaging Belief? I am right and he is being ridiculous.

NEW, POSITIVE HABITNew Habit? Staying calm when my

husband gets annoyed about small things.

2. What Is the Cue, Routine, and Reward for the New Habit? Cue = Husband gets annoyed over a small thing. Routine = Sit with the feeling. Don’t try to be controlling and know it all. Reward = Better relationship with my husband.

3. New, Rational belief? My relationship with my husband is more important than being right. Thinking about the whole story, not just the beginning.

Example of Bad Habit/Good HabitBAD HABIT1. Bad habit to change? Eating

cookies after 9pm.2. What Is the cue, routine, and

reward of this old habit?Cue = feeling entitled/craving. Routine = go into the kitchen for just 1 cookie, but eat many more. Reward = dopamine rush and pleasure from taste of cookie.

3. What is your sabotaging thought(s)? I am entitled. I have been so good. The cookies are so GOOD!!!

NEW, POSITIVE HABIT1. What is the new habit ? Staying

out of the kitchen after 9 pm.2. What is the cue, routine, and

reward for the new habit? Cue = feeling entitled/cravingRoutine = go into bedroom and drink decaf coffee. Reward = continue to fit into my size 4 pants.

3. What is your new belief? “Nothing taste as good as thin feels”. I need to remember the whole story. Stand firm.

Response Card: Advantage CardsAdvantage Card for Watching

My Weight

• I’ll look better.• I’ll be able to wear a smaller

size.• I’ll be in better health. • I’ll feel better physically. • I’ll feel more in control.

Advantage Card for Staying Calm with My Husband

• I’ll have a better relationship with my

husband. • Will be a good role model

for my children.

What Strategies Will I Choose to Support My New Habit?

1. Gateway Habits (exercise and write it down)? ___2. Stand Firm? ___3. Meditate? ___4. Seek Social Support and/or Make It Public? ___5. Give Myself Credit? ___6. Change My Beliefs? ___7. Use an Advantage Card? ___8. Make It Easy to Follow My New Habit and Hard to Follow My

Old One? ___9. All of the Above? ___

Summary

• Willpower is a limited resource so make it a habit.• Be proactive, mindful, and avoid triggers.• Give yourself credit. Don’t put yourself down. • Develop beliefs that will inspire you. • Be mindful and reflective, focusing on the long term

goals as opposed to the immediate rewards.