Intimate Relationships and Communication

Chapter 4

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Developing Intimate Relationships

Successful Relationships require:– Positive Self-concept and Self-esteem

• developed in infancy and childhood

• gender roles

• attachment

• adult styles of loving

• less than ideal childhood can still have a successful relationship

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Developing Intimate Relationships

Successful Relationships require:– Friendships

• based on companionship, respect, acceptance, help, trust, loyalty and reciprocity

• may be longer lasting and more stable

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Love, Sex, and Commitment

One of the most basic and profound human emotions.

These 3 are linked ideals in intimate relationship.

Characteristics of love, sex and commitment.

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Sternberg’s Classifications of Love

Based on degrees of intimacy, passion and commitment:– Liking– Infatuation– Romantic– Fatuous– Empty– Companionate– Consummate

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The Pleasure and Pain of Love

Recognize the human emotions– Two components:

1. Physiological arousal

2. Emotional explanation

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The Transformation of Love

All relationships change over time. High levels of passion. Growth of intimacy. Reduction of romance and or passion to the

transformation of deep love.

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Stresses on a Intimate Partnership

Unequal or Premature commitment Unrealistic Expectations Competitiveness Balance of Time together and apart Jealousy

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Successful Relationships

Realistic expectations Mutual trust Open communication Effective ways to resolve conflict Agreement on religious/ethical values Equal roles Balance of individual and joint interests

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Ending a Relationship

Reasons why? Guidelines of a breakup

– Fair chance– Be fair– Be tactful– Time for resolving your anger and pain– The value of the experience

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Communication

Nonverbal Ability to interpret nonverbal messages Self-disclosure Listening Feedback is a constructive response Gender differences in communication

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Conflict and Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution skills are vital for maintaining intimate relationships.

1. Clarify the issue.2. Find out what each person wants.3. Identify various alternatives.4. Decide how to negotiate.5. Solidify the agreements.6. Review and negotiate.

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Pairing and Singlehood

Choosing a Partner.– Attraction.– Similarities.– Communication.– Acceptance.

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Dating

Different cultures have different rituals for finding a mate.

American Culture.– Getting to know each other.– Traditional male-female dating pattern.– Dating of young people.

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Cohabitation

Factors of acceptance Rarely continues indefinitely Advantages Liabilities

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Partnership

Gay and Lesbian– Sexual orientation– Homosexual relationships in relation to

heterosexual relationships– Traditional gender roles– Societal attitudes

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Singlehood

Diverse group Factors that contribute to a growing number Advantages Disadvantages Enjoyment depends upon:

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Marriage

Benefits of Marriage Issues of marriage Role of Commitment

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Divorce

High rates.. Why?– Process of Divorce.

• Physical separation.

• Emotional separation.

– Greatest stress producing event next to the death of a spouse.

– Recovery from divorce.– Remarriage.

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Family Life

Becoming a Parent Family life cycle Preparation for

parenthood– Own stability and readiness

to be a parent

– Physical health

– Teenage parenting

– Over the age of 35

– Nutritional habits

– Genetics

– Financial

– Considered educational and career plans

– Emotionally ready

– Social support

– Attitudes and aptitudes

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Preconception Care

Preexisting medical condition

Current use of medications and drugs

Use of tobacco and/or alcohol

Past problems with pregnancy

Disease risks and immunization history

Dietary habits Family history of

genetic diseases or multiple births

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Birth of First Child Stressful transition Return to traditional gender roles Each stage of the Family Life Cycle

– New parents:• worry about choices and mistakes• no set rules• most important is to promote satisfaction for

all family members.

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Birth of First Child

Later stages: balance between giving freedom and setting limits

Marital satisfaction tends to decline when children are in school

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Building Blocks of Parenting

Modeling Trust Respect Love and Discipline Honesty Positive Statements Time, Attention, Concern

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Single-parent Families

Differences to a traditional family life cycle.

Difficulties experienced as a single parent. Single Fatherhood. Children from single-parent families.

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Stepfamilies or Blended Families

3 out of 4 women and 4 out of 5 men will remarry. Should not be expected to duplicate the emotions

and relationships of an intact family. Healthy stepfamilies are less cohesive and more

adaptable than healthy intact families. Allow for more individual differences.

More of a history they have the more of a family unit is built.

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Qualities of Successful Families

Commitment Appreciation Communication Time together Spiritual wellness Coping with stress and crisis

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