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InterpersonalInterpersonal

ManagingManaging ConflictConflict ManagingManaging ConflictConflict

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ConflictConflict

Conflict exists when individuals who depend on each other express different views, interests, or goals and perceive their views as incompatible or oppositional.

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Conflict isConflict is

• Natural

• Inevitable

• Potentially constructive

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Types of ConflictTypes of Conflict• Pseudo – apparent, not real, a conflict waiting

to happen• Fact – concerns message accuracy• Value - deep-seated beliefs about what is

good or bad, worthwhile or worthless, desirable or undesirable, moral or immoral

• Policy – what should be the plan, course of action, or behavior

• Ego – “winning” or “losing” is central to maintaining self-image

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Types of ConflictTypes of Conflict

• Pseudo

• Fact

• Value

• Policy

• Ego

Conflicts become

complicatedwhenthey

escalateto involvevalues and

egos.

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Styles of Conflict Styles of Conflict ManagementManagement

• Withdrawal – people physically or psychologically remove themselves from the conflict

• Accommodating – people attempt to satisfy others’ needs while neglecting their own

• Forcing – people attempt to satisfy their own needs without concern for the other or harm done to the relationship

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Styles of Conflict Styles of Conflict Management Management (continued)(continued)

• Compromising – people attempt to resolve

conflict by providing some satisfaction for

both parties

• Collaborating – people try to fully address the

needs and issues of each party and arrive at

a solution that is mutually satisfying

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Conflict StylesConflict Styles

High concern for self

Highconcernfor other

Accommodating Collaborating

Compromising

Withdrawing Forcing

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Collaborative Conflict Collaborative Conflict ManagementManagement

• Define the problem.

• Analyze the problem.

• Develop criteria for judging solutions.

• Generate solution alternatives.

• Select the solution that best meets the criteria identified.

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Approaches to ConflictApproaches to Conflict

Win/Lose One party gets satisfaction

Lose/Win The other party gets satisfaction

Lose/Lose Neither party gets satisfaction

Win/Win Both parties feel satisfied

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Initiating Conflict Using Initiating Conflict Using Communication SkillsCommunication Skills

1. Recognize and state ownership of the problem.2. Describe the basis of the potential conflict in

terms of behavior, consequences, and feelings.3. Avoid evaluating the other person’s motives.4. Be sure the other person understands your

problem.5. Think of exactly what you will say before you

confront the other person.6. Phrase your request in a way that focuses on

common ground.

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Responding to Conflict Using Responding to Conflict Using Communication SkillsCommunication Skills

1. Put up mental shields against overly aggressive attacks, rather than becoming defensive or counterattacking.

2. Respond with genuine interest and concern.

3. Paraphrase your understanding of the problem.

4. Seek common ground.

5. Ask the initiator to suggest alternatives.

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Constructive Constructive CommunicationCommunication

Unproductive Unproductive

CommunicationCommunicationValidation of each other Disconfirmation of each other

Sensitive listening Poor listening

Dual Perspective Preoccupation with self Recognize other’s

concerns

Cross-complaining

Hostile mind readingSeek Clarification

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Constructive Constructive CommunicationCommunication

Unproductive Unproductive

CommunicationCommunication

Focus on specific issues Everything is thrown in

Compromises and contracts Counterproposals

Useful metacommunication Excessive

metacommunication

Summarizing the

concerns for both

partners

Self-summarizing

(continued)(continued)

Infrequent interruptions Frequent interruptions

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MediatorMediator

An uninvolved third party who serves as a neutral and impartial guide, structuring an interaction that enables the conflicting parties to find a mutually acceptable solution to their problems.

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Mediating Conflict Using Mediating Conflict Using Communication SkillsCommunication Skills

1. The people need to agree to work with you.

2. Help the people identify the real conflict.

3. Maintain your neutrality.

4. Keep the discussion focused on the issues.

5. Work to ensure equal air time.

6. Focus the discussion on solutions not blame.

7. Make sure both parties fully understand and support the agreed-upon solution.

8. Establish an action plan and follow-up.

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Learn from Conflict Learn from Conflict FailuresFailures

Analyzing your behavior will put you in a better position to act more successfully in the next conflict.

Since conflict is inevitable, you can count on using this knowledge again.

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How We Manage How We Manage Conflict Affects:Conflict Affects:

Our friendships

Our romantic relationships

Our world of work

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