In Case of Gun-Toting Student
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HANDGUNS ON COLLEGE CAMPUSES: HOW WE CAN MAKE IT WORK? What professor wants to wait till she hears a gun shot in her classroom to figure out how to survive an attack by a crazed student? In anticipation that the Texas Legislature may legalize handguns on college campus, study these 9 steps.
1 Set the Tone: Bring a gun and display it on the first day of class; let students know
you’re packing heat
2 Encourage students to make it a habit to bring their guns for each and every class
meeting
3 Suggest that students keep guns out
of sight but easily accessible
4 Discretely place your A students at the
back of the classroom; statistics show that they make quicker decisions than D or F students; they will have better sight-‐lines if positioned at the back of the room
5 For extra protection, suggest that students wear flak jackets; these will be helpful
should cross fire occur
6 Put your cell phone on your desk pre-‐dialed to 911; if shooting breaks out you will not be able to both dial, duck,
and shoot at the same time
7 If you have an 8:00 AM class, provide free shots of instant energy; statistics show that sleep deprived students lose motor skills and
cognitive abilities
8 Inform students, particularly freshmen, they should never bring a toy gun into
class for a prank; doing so could cut short their academic careers
9 Under no circumstances, should you hand back graded tests during class;
consider giving higher grades