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The SpoTlighT – page 1

The™Spotlight

Bi-Monthly Paper Take Me Home! Sept/Oct 12FREEHUMOR HELPS YOU COPE WITH LIFE !

Clean Jokes • Puzzles • Insight760-917-0815 * www.4spotl ight.net *

Guard Dog


Did Ya Hear This?

Plunkett

Consumers Be Aware• CA state law requires anyone who contracts to do construction or work of improvement be licensed. Please verify the person is licensed!

(Contractor’s State License Board: 1-800-321-2752 or www.cslb.ca.gov)• For health solutions, consult your physician. Health ads and articles are for informational purposes only.

• Financial ads and articles are for informational purposes only. Gobitas, and The Spotlight reserve the right to not accept an ad. We accept no responsibility for errors in copy or in advertisements beyond the cost of the actual space occupied by the error, or for the comments or claims of our advertisers. All disputes to be settled in Small Claims Court in Vista, CA.

Plunkett 2 Kid Wisdom 3 Mulva & Silly Sally 6 Puzzles 7 Grandpa’s Wisdom 10 Prof. Smugly 11 Cuddles 14 Golf 15 Hearing Advice 16S

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Spotlight

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Murphy's Other 15 Laws1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.5. Change is inevitable. Except from a vending ma-chine.6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.8. The 50-50-99 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 99% probability you'll get it wrong.9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them.10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it, but for the other foot.11. The things that come to those who wait may be the things left behind by those that got there first.12. Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.14. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.15. When you go to court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

-----------------------☺☺☺----------------------Interview with a Retiree

Q: What do retirees call a long lunch?A: Normal.Q: What is the best way to describe retirement?A: The never ending coffee break.Q: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?A: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.Q: What do you do all week?A: Monday through Friday, NOTHING. Saturday and Sunday, I rest.

-----------------------☺☺☺----------------------


Kid WisdomThey Say the Funniest Things!

Make Someone Laugh & You Will Both Be Happy!

My son said something so cute a few mornings ago. He wanted to know how much a flight to the moon would cost. I replied, billions. Trying to sound very grown up, he said, "Now that's just unreasonable." The look on his face was just priceless.

-----------------------☺☺☺---------------------- My daughter came home from school one day complaining of stomach pain. I told her she may have picked up a stomach bug. When her father came home later that day I heard her tell him she had a "tummy ant." Close enough.

-----------------------☺☺☺---------------------- Our 3 year old grandson was visiting us one day when he came out of the bathroom and asked, "Grandma, why do you have a carpet on your toilet seat?"

-----------------------☺☺☺---------------------- A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't emp-ty."

-----------------------☺☺☺---------------------- My daughter was affected quite a bit by the passing of Steve Irwin. Shortly after his death she said, "I'm sad that the Crocodile Hunter died. But I'm not mad at the stingray. It's not his fault that he doesn't have technology so he can't watch TV and know who the Crocodile Hunter is."

-----------------------☺☺☺----------------------

You Know You're a Stay at Home Mom When ... ◦ You would rather stay in your jammies than make more laundry. ◦ You're asked by someone you meet "What do you do?" And you're answer is, "Everything!" ◦ When you crave adult conversation more than food. ◦ When your kitchen chairs are in the living room, the couch cushions are on the kitchen floor, and you're the only person in the house wearing pants. ◦ The kids are napping and you're up watching chil-dren's television by yourself. ◦ You go out for Mommies Night Out with your best friend, and you both find yourselves browsing through the toy aisles and leaving with something for the kids! ◦ You wake up in the morning and you start counting down to "nap time". ◦ Dressing up for you means matching your t-shirt to your pajama bottoms. ◦ You start to treat your husband like one of the kids. "Pick up your shoes ... Put that in the sink ... Stop bothering the children." ◦ You realize the true value of the drive-through window. ◦ You don't carry a purse anymore because every-thing you need fits in the diaper bag. ◦ Your house will never be clean again, you are ex-hausted, and your husband thinks you have it easy! ◦ You stop carrying pictures of your kids in your purse because they're always with you. ◦ You read an article on housecleaning tips and con-sider it "me" time. ◦ When you don't even know what day of the week it is anymore or the date. But you go to sleep knowing your kids are getting the best love and care possible, something that only their mum can do.

-----------------------☺☺☺----------------------

One day I was driving my 3-year-old son and new-born son, Brody, to the Doctor's for a check-up. My 3-year-old said, "Mom, you need to have another baby." I asked him why and he said, "Because Brody is MY baby."

-----------------------☺☺☺---------------------- I overheard my preschooler telling our newborn, "You're a cute baby but you've GOT to stop crying!"

-----------------------☺☺☺----------------------

When my son was a toddler, he would ask for "Peter Bread and Thomas," otherwise known as pita bread and hummus.

-----------------------☺☺☺----------------------


AVOID GOING BROKE!!! In California only 7% of seniors have long term care insurance. The high cost of premi-ums along with the fact that over 60% cannot qualify due to health reasons, means that you could go broke very quickly. Your life savings can easily be wiped out by nursing home costs of $85,000 to $100,000 per year. There are legal strategies that can prevent this from happening to you or your spouse.

YOUR LIVING TRUST WILL NOT WORKFOR THIS PURPOSE.

Call Marilyn at her office or attend a seminar to learn how to protect your family.

LEGAL MEDI-CAL STRATEGIES BY ELDER LAW ATTORNEY MARILYN SHEA.

President of National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys for Southern California 2009-2010.

Attorney 30+ years.Same location 13 years.

UPCOMING SEMINARS Come learn about many

Legal Strategies.Seating is Limited.

CALL FOR EXACT LOCATIONS & RESERVATIONS

(or medi-cal appointment)ESTATE PRESERVATION GROUP

760-721-0600www.medi-calattorney.com

Legal professionals financial planners and insurance agents will be charged $1,000 prior to admittance and must be on

the confirmed RSVP list prior to the event.

Concerned Parent? Concerned Grandparent?

A child with special needs should be getting:

• Psychological testing• Interventions• Services such as specialized instruction, speech/language therapy or occupational therapy• Academic progress monitoring

As a parent/grandparent, you should expect:• Quality education for your child• Programs tailored to meet your child’s needs• Frequent progress updates by your child’s teacher(s)

With deep budget cuts in education, your child may not receive the services from school he/she so greatly deserves.

Unless they have an Advocate.

Call:Dr. Joseph Todd Jones,

Special Ed AdvocateLicensed Educational Psychologist

Serving the State of California

Joseph Todd Jones, PsyD

Special Education Advocate andLicensed Educational Psychologist

Phone: (760) 809-3116E-Mail: [email protected]

Web: www.toddjones.org


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A Sassy LadyMulva Silly

SallyHumor for Women

◦ I was meant to be loved, not understood! ◦ If woman's work is never done; why start? ◦ Intuition: that strange instinct that tells a woman she is right, whether she is or not. ◦ My disposition is subject to change without notice. ◦ The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public. ◦ Things I need to do today: Find 'THE LIST'!

----------------------♥♥♥----------------------I Wish I Was a Bear

If you're a bear, you get to hibernate.You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat your-self stupid. I could deal with that, too. If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. Your husband expects you to growl when you wake up. He expects you to have hairy legs and excess body fat. I wish I was a bear.

----------------------♥♥♥----------------------

Curtains Silly Sally goes into a computer store and asks the clerk, "Where do you keep the curtains for comput-ers?" The clerk answers with a puzzled face, "Cur-tains for computers? You don't need curtains for computers." Sally shakes her head as she answers "Hello!? My computer has Windows!"

----------------------------------------------- What did Silly Sally say when she opened up a box of Cherios? "Oh look, little donut seeds."

-----------------------------------------------Sleeping Pills

An exhausted looking Silly Sally dragged herself in to the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep." "I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medica-tions. "Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over." "Great," Sally answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot." A few weeks later Sally returned, looking worse than ever. "Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!" "I don't understand how that could be", said the doc-tor, shaking his head. "Those are the strongest pills on the market!" "That may be true," answered Sally wearily, "but I'm still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it's hard getting him to swallow the pill!"

----------------------------------------------- Silly Sally got a job as a flight attendant. The airline captain was helping her prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, he showed Sally the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed Sally was missing. He called her hotel to ask what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said, "I can't get out of the room!" "Why not?" He asked. She replied, "There are only three doors in here, one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

The SpoTlighT – page 7 Solutions p. 15

DownAcross

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There is only one rule: Fill in the grid so that every row, column & small grid contains all digits 1-6 only once.

# 3 # 4

# 2

5 44 2

625 1

3

# 1

25 6

4 3 55

4 62

3 61

24 2

5 1 6

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25 1

64 3

1 Parsonage6 Royal treasury10 Storm14 Thoughts15 Hormone16 Chopped17 Myth18 Prefix for half19 After eight20 No charge21 Federal government (abr.)22 Shallow channel24 Booted26 Movie theater27 Cook in liquid30 Part of the "KKK"31 White32 Positive electrode33 Flightless bird36 Live-in babysitter37 Fox hole38 Horizontal lines of a graph40 Genetic code41 Confuse43 Stupid44 Rampage45 Enmity46 Wet49 Carpets50 Deepest within51 Price sticker52 Reverberate56 Knots57 Sight organs59 Anesthetic60 Fringy61 Glean62 Dickens' "__ of Two Cities" (2 wds.)63 Alcoholic beverage64 Back talk65 What is agreed upon

1 Upset2 Jewish calendar month3 Northeast by east4 Male store clerk5 Compass point6 Bleached7 Chilled8 Short-term memory9 Group of 100010 Scope11 Saying12 City13 Paradise21 Pro23 Adding on25 Yards for hens (2 wds.)26 Genetic identical27 Beach finding28 Asian country29 Asian starling30 Was in a position of prayer32 Append (2 wds.)33 Test34 List of meals35 Wields39 Liqour type42 Weight loss attempters45 Fall mo.46 Ridiculing remark47 End48 Medicated49 Files50 Object51 What Celestial Seasonings makes53 Blacken54 Steering mechanism55 Mined metals58 Yes59 Nosh

FRENCH PRESSAMERICANO LATTEMOCHACAPPUCCINOROAST

BEANSCREMADECAFFINATEDDRIP BREWINGESPRESSOMACCHIATO

RISTRETTOFILTERFOAMGRINDERHOUSE BLENDINSTANT COFFEE

Real Newspaper Headline:Man Opts for Jail Over New Year with Relatives.

-------☺☺☺------

New Health Warning: When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure. When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure. When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems. When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems. Apparently, ice is really bad for you. Warn all your friends. ☺


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#1


Grandpa’s Wisdom

Flattery The Greek word for flattery is kolakia. Kolakia is defined as, "...words which flattery uses, not sim-ply as an effort to give pleasure, but with motives of self-interest (Vine's Dictionary). Insincere compliments that are given out of self-interest and a desire for self-aggrandizement are to be avoided. However, we should seek opportu-nities to say complimentary things to people out of sincerity of heart and purpose.Aesop Fable: A CROW having stolen a bit of meat, perched in a tree and held it in her beak. A Fox, seeing this, longed to possess the meat himself, and by a wily stratagem succeeded. "How handsome is the Crow," he exclaimed, in the beauty of her shape and in the fairness of her complexion! Oh, if her voice were only equal to her beauty, she would deservedly be considered the Queen of Birds!" This he said deceitfully; but the Crow, anxious to refute the reflection cast upon her voice, set up a loud caw and dropped the flesh. The Fox quickly picked it up, and thus addressed the Crow: "My good Crow, your voice is right enough, but your wit is wanting." (Moral: If you believe the flattery, you might lose your grip on what you have)FLATTERY IS LIKE:…cologne water, to be smelt of, but not swallowed.…counterfeit money, which, but for vanity, would have no circulation.…a lie about you, told in such a way that you’d like to believe it.…chewing gum---enjoy it but don’t swallow it.… telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself”.…friendship in show, but not in fruit...praise insincerely given for an interested purpose…a kind of bad money, to which our vanity gives us currency.…swallowing greedily with one gulp the lie that flatters us, while we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.…sweet food for those who can swallow it.…soft soap, which is 90 per cent lye.An egotist never knows when he is being flattered.

Flattery: Phony express.Flattery: To compliment excessively and often insincerely, especially in order to win favor.Flattery although insincere in most cases con-tains some measure of truth, otherwise it may prove ineffective. Ever had someone try to butter you up (or down) with flattery? Often times the one doing the flattering choos-es his words carefully in order to seduce his victim. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every Conversation Is a Hearing Test!

How did you do today?


Professor SmuglyHelpful Hints

Keep Smiling!It Improves Your Looks!

TRAVEL: Airlines:Alaska Airlines: 10% off (65+)American Airlines: various discounts for 65 and up (call before booking for discount)Continental Airlines: no initiation fee for Conti-nental Presidents Club & special fares for select destinationsSouthwest Airlines: various discounts for ages 65 and up (call before booking for discount)United Airlines: various discounts for ages 65 and up (call before booking for discount)U.S. Airways: various discounts for ages 65 and up (call before booking for discount)

GROCERY:Albertson's: 10% off first Wed. of month (55+)American Discount Stores: 10% off Monday (50+)Compare Foods Supermarket: 10% off Wed.(60+)DeCicco Family Markets: 5% off Wed.(60+)Food Lion: 6% off every Monday (60+)Fry's Supermarket: free Fry's VIP Club Member-ship & 10% off every Monday (55+)Great Valu Food Store: 5% off Tuesday (60+)Gristedes Supermarket: 10% off Tuesday (60+)Harris Teeter: 5% off Tuesday (60+)Hy-Vee: 5% off one day a week (date varies)Kroger: 10% off (date varies by location) Morton Williams Supermarket: 5% off Tues. (60+)The Plant Shed: 10% off every Tuesday (50+)Publix: 5% off every Wednesday (55+)Rogers Marketplace: 5% off Thursday (60+)Uncle Guiseppe's Marketplace: 5% off (62+)

CELL PHONE DISCOUNTS:AT&T: Special Senior Nation 200 Plan $29.99/mo. (65+)Jitterbug: $10/month cell phone service (50+)Verizon Wireless: Nationwide 65 Plus Plan $29.99/mo. (65+).

MISCELLANEOUS:Great Clips: $3 off hair cuts (60+)Super Cuts: $2 off haircuts (60+)

NOW, go out there and claim your discounts - - - and Remember --- YOU must ASK for your

discount --- no ask, no discount.

SENIOR DISCOUNTS Keep this list & Send to your senior friends. YOU must ASK for your discount!

RESTAURANTS:Applebee's: 15% off with Golden Apple Card (60+)Arby's: 10% off (55+)Ben & Jerry's: 10% off (60+)Bennigan's: discount varies by location (60+)Bob's Big Boy: discount varies by location (60+)Boston Market: 10% off (65+)Burger King: 10% off (60+)Chick-Fil-A: 10% off or free small drink or coffee (55+)Chili's: 10% off (55+)CiCi's Pizza: 10% off (60+)Denny's: 10% off, 20% off for AARP members (55+)Dunkin' Donuts: 10% off or free coffee (55+)Einstein's Bagels: 10% off baker's dozen of bagels (60+)Fuddrucker's: 10% off any senior platter (55+)Gatti's Pizza: 10% off (60+)Golden Corral: 10% off (60+)Hardee's: $0.33 beverages everyday (65+)IHOP: 10% off (55+)Jack in the Box: up to 20% off (55+)KFC: free small drink with any meal (55+)Krispy Kreme: 10% off (50+) Long John Silver's: various discounts at locations (55+)McDonald's: discounts on coffee everyday (55+)Mrs. Fields: 10% off at participating locations (60+)Shoney's: 10% off Sonic: 10% off or free beverage (60+)Steak 'n Shake: 10% off every Mon. & Tues.(50+)Subway: 10% off (60+)Sweet Tomatoes: 10% off (62+)Taco Bell: 5% off; free beverages (65+)TCBY: 10% off (55+)Tea Room Cafe: 10% off (50+)Village Inn: 10% off (60+)Waffle House: 10% off every Monday (60+)Wendy's: 10% off (55+)White Castle: 10% off (62+)

TRAVEL: Rail: Amtrak: 15% off (62+) Bus: Greyhound: 5% off (62+)Trailways Transportation System: various dis-counts for ages 50+


Quality Hearing Aids are a “Sound Investment” in life

with excellent returns! They can improve the quality of life by reducing stress with

Employers, Workmates, Customers, Family, Friends, Everyone!

Our office staff: Walter Gobitas with Lee & Jenny DeVorse.

(se habla espanol)

INVESTMENTSStock Market = CRASHReal Estate = Down 40%

Banks = Low or NO interest on your money.The BEST INVESTMENT is in YOURSELF!

Improving your vision & hearing can help you get a job. Or keep a job when layoffs are coming. Even a drivers license requires good vision & hearing.

Pleasant Communication is important in life. If you have trouble hearing, relationships are at risk. You don’t want a reputation of being grumpy & hard to get along with.

emedy Hearing AidsIn business since 1992

2420 Vista Way, Suite 112, Oceanside, CA 92054

The Best Hearing Aid Investment is found at:

Factory Direct Prices & Service

760-754-8151


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How the Poor Live One day, a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, “How was the trip?” “It was great, Dad.” “Did you see how poor people live?” The father asked. “Oh yeah,” said the son. “So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?” Asked the father. The son answered, “I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden, and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden, and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard, and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on, and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them.” The boy’s father was speechless. Then his son added, “Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are.”

-----------------------☼☼☼---------------------Learn from Mistakes

Thomas Edison tried two thousand different materi-als in search of a filament for the light bulb. When none worked satisfactorily, his assistant complained, “All our work is in vain. We have learned nothing.” Edison replied very confidently, “Oh, we have come a long way and we have learned a lot. We know that there are two thousand elements which we cannot use to make a good light bulb.”

-----------------------☼☼☼--------------------- Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself, and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. -- Kal Menninger

IT'S SO HOT.....The birds have to use potholders to pull the worms

out of the ground......The best parking place is determined by shade

instead of distance.....Hot water comes from both taps......You can make sun tea instantly.

.....You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

.....You actually burn your hand opening the car door......You break into a sweat the instant you step outside

at 5:30 A.M......You realize that asphalt has a liquid stage.

-----------------☺☺☺---------------


4 3 2 5 6 15 6 1 4 2 31 4 6 3 5 22 5 3 6 1 43 2 5 1 4 66 1 4 2 3 5

2 5 6 1 3 44 3 1 5 6 25 6 2 4 1 31 4 3 6 2 56 2 4 3 5 13 1 5 2 4 6

#3 #4

6 5 4 2 3 11 3 2 5 6 43 4 6 1 5 25 2 1 3 4 62 6 3 4 1 54 1 5 6 2 3

1 3 4 6 5 22 5 6 1 4 33 1 5 4 2 66 4 2 5 3 14 6 3 2 1 55 2 1 3 6 4

Sudoku Solutions #1 #2

Golf

WO

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You're waiting to play golf!!I thought it was a special sale!

Too much teasing again I see!

I put your hole-in-one golf ball trophy next to your bronzed baby shoes & your

spelling bee award.


Without hearing aids Everyone knows

YOU have a Hearing Problem!

Who knows more about hearing aids than

the Factory?Who can give you more? We REPAIR all brands

(760) 754–8151By appointment 8 am–5 pm Mon - Sat

Oceanviw Plaza - 2420 Vista Way #112, Oceanside, 92054

www.4HearingAids.com Can You See It?

CALL for a FREE HEARING TEST and Listening DemonstrationIt will make a difference in both of your lives.

Hi, my name is Walter Gobitas (Go-bite-us). I wear hearing aids. I understand your concerns and frustrations. Please accept my invitation for you and a friend to come and listen through different types of hearing aids in different sound envi-ronments. You decide which technology works best for you. Then, Lee & Jenny DeVorse (se habla espanol) & I will Custom Craft my Remedy Hearing Aids to fit your acoustic and psychologi-cal needs. Audiologists & Dispensers with a hearing aid problem call the Factory for help. - Now You Can!

The fact is - No one knows what they haven’t heard! They’re not convinced of not hearing well & no one really wants to wear hearing aids.

Advice for Friends & Family:• Don’t Nag - Calmly Discuss. Communication is important to you & you want both to feel comfortable.• Don’t Ignore the Problem. Don’t make an issue of it every day, but hearing loss doesn’t go away.• Don’t Compensate. If you talk louder than normal or put up with loud TV, then you’re helping them to pretend there isn’t a problem. Yes, sometimes you have to speak up to be understood. But it is important to let them know that you’re talking louder than normal. - - We’re here for Family Counseling

As Hearing Aid Manufacturers we can give you every Financial & Service Advantage.

Do You Know Patricia Martin?

Jeffe

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El C

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DIGITAL HEARING AIDS – FACTORY DIRECT

emedy Hearing AidsIn business since 1992

Why Pay Retail?

“I cannot find the words to thank you for giving me back my hearing, and making a product that is, in my view, second to none. You may know that we in England receive free Medical care including hearing aids etc, but com-pared against your REMEDY DIGITAL BTE, I must tell you that we have nothing near this quality at the very reasonable price that you charge, I would not hesitate to recommend you to any visit-ing Brits that I encounter. My sincere thanks for making everything easily understandable. Thank you again for giving me back my hearing.” Patricia Martin - England

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