How to Speak Professionally & Project a Positive Corporate Image Day 2 “What you say …”
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Transcript of How to Speak Professionally & Project a Positive Corporate Image Day 2 “What you say …”
How to How to Speak Speak
ProfessionallProfessionallyy
& Project a Positive & Project a Positive Corporate ImageCorporate Image
Day 2Day 2““WhatWhat you say …” you say …”
Identifying Communication Identifying Communication BarriersBarriers
Language ProficiencyLanguage Proficiency a..c..y..xabcxyz
Assumptions we makeAssumptions we make
Cultural divideCultural divideHave you taken your
lunch?
Nice shirt – You paid how
much?
Specialist / Non-specialist divideSpecialist / Non-specialist divide∑∩∂∞≠Ǎθ ??
?
Identifying Communication Identifying Communication BarriersBarriers
Personality Factors Personality Factors ABCXYZZXX!!abcxyz
Authoritative mistaken as AggressivePersistent mistaken as ArgumentativeConfident mistaken as Arrogant
Quiet mistaken as Ignorant
Assertive mistaken as Intrusive
Establishing PersonalityEstablishing Personality
How are you perceived … How are you perceived …
When you talk too little ...When you talk too little ...No opinion of your ownNo opinion of your ownYes-man / Yes-womanYes-man / Yes-woman
Establishing PersonalityEstablishing Personality
How are you perceived … How are you perceived …
When you talk too much …When you talk too much …OpinionatedOpinionatedHyper-critical & NegativeHyper-critical & Negative
Establishing PersonalityEstablishing Personality How are you perceived … How are you perceived …
When you don’t use the When you don’t use the ““Magic WordsMagic Words” …” …
For AppreciationFor Appreciation ““Thank youThank you”, “”, “PleasePlease” …” …
For RecognitionFor Recognition ““Good ideaGood idea”, “”, “That’s usefulThat’s useful”, ”, ““Good questionsGood questions”, “”, “ExcellentExcellent” …” …
Making the Making the RightRight
ChoicesChoices
We all need to communicate effectively.
“It doesn’t really matter, so long as you get the message across”
RightRight Choices Choices Effective Communication Effective Communication
INACCURATEINACCURATE
IRRESPONSIBLEIRRESPONSIBLEDANGEROUSDANGEROUS
There are two issues: There are two issues: the motor-bike is parked in the wrong the motor-bike is parked in the wrong
place.place.it needs to be re-parked in the correct it needs to be re-parked in the correct
place.place.1.1. ““Is that your motor-bike?”Is that your motor-bike?”2.2. ““Who has parked that motor-bike right in front of the Who has parked that motor-bike right in front of the
entrance?”entrance?”3.3. There is an area round the side specially for motor-bikes.”There is an area round the side specially for motor-bikes.”4.4. What a stupid place to leave a motor-bike.”What a stupid place to leave a motor-bike.”5.5. ““I hope you don’t mind, but could you please park your I hope you don’t mind, but could you please park your
motor-bike round the corner?”motor-bike round the corner?”6.6. ““We need to keep the entrance free at all times.”We need to keep the entrance free at all times.”7.7. ““Whose motor-bike is that?”Whose motor-bike is that?”8.8. ““Wow, what a fancy motor-bike! But sorry, it’s got to be Wow, what a fancy motor-bike! But sorry, it’s got to be
moved from there.”moved from there.”9.9. ““Could that motor-bike please be parked at the side of the Could that motor-bike please be parked at the side of the
building?”building?”10.10. “ “Will you please remove your motor-bike from there?” Will you please remove your motor-bike from there?”
The manager wants the downliner to understand that habitually The manager wants the downliner to understand that habitually arriving late is not acceptable and that, in future the downliner arriving late is not acceptable and that, in future the downliner
has to be on time.has to be on time.1.1. ““Can you please not be late for tomorrow’s meeting?”Can you please not be late for tomorrow’s meeting?”2.2. ““Can you please be on time for tomorrow’s meeting?”Can you please be on time for tomorrow’s meeting?”3.3. ““Tomorrow’s meeting will start at 9 a.m. sharp.”Tomorrow’s meeting will start at 9 a.m. sharp.”4.4. ““I am tired of your lack of punctuality. I will be angry I am tired of your lack of punctuality. I will be angry
if you are a moment later than 9 a.m. tomorrow.”if you are a moment later than 9 a.m. tomorrow.”5.5. ““Could you please try to make it on time to the Could you please try to make it on time to the
meeting tomorrow?”meeting tomorrow?”6.6. ““It is important for the effectiveness of the meeting It is important for the effectiveness of the meeting
and for me personally that you come on time to the and for me personally that you come on time to the meeting.”meeting.”
7.7. ““All members must observe punctuality.”All members must observe punctuality.”8.8. ““Do you realise that by coming late to the meetings Do you realise that by coming late to the meetings
you are wasting other people’s time and making you are wasting other people’s time and making everybody irritated with you?”everybody irritated with you?”
9.9. ““What in the world is wrong with you? Can’t you get What in the world is wrong with you? Can’t you get out of bed in the morning?”out of bed in the morning?”
10.10.““See you at 9 tomorrow. Don’t be late!”See you at 9 tomorrow. Don’t be late!”
One party to the contract is questioning the other One party to the contract is questioning the other party’s interpretation of a clause in the contract:party’s interpretation of a clause in the contract:
1.1. ““No, you’re wrong.”No, you’re wrong.”2.2. ““I don’t believe I noticed that clause in the contract.”I don’t believe I noticed that clause in the contract.”3.3. ““It’s very clear that you have totally misunderstood It’s very clear that you have totally misunderstood
the contract.”the contract.”4.4. ““Show me where it says that!”Show me where it says that!”5.5. ““Somehow, that appears to have escaped my notice.”Somehow, that appears to have escaped my notice.”6.6. ““You are obviously deliberately misinterpreting the You are obviously deliberately misinterpreting the
contract for your own gain.”contract for your own gain.”7.7. ““Can we have a look at the contract and work out Can we have a look at the contract and work out
what it really means.”what it really means.”8.8. ““You’re not being fair.”You’re not being fair.”9.9. ““Please be fair to me!”Please be fair to me!”10.10. ““Absolute rubbish! Go and read the contract again.”Absolute rubbish! Go and read the contract again.”
Control of TransmittingControl of TransmittingControl of ReceivingControl of Receiving
The The TransmittedTransmitted
MessageMessage
The The ReceivedReceived MessageMessage
Intentionally +Intentionally +
Unintentionally -Unintentionally -
Intentionally -Intentionally -
Intentionally +Intentionally +
Intentionally -Intentionally -
““You’re doing a great job. You’re doing a great job. Keep it up!”Keep it up!”
She’s wants to She’s wants to motivate me. motivate me. How nice of How nice of
her!her!
She’s being She’s being patronizing patronizing
and and condescendincondescendin
g.g.
I know I’m I know I’m doing a good doing a good
job – but I job – but I don’t need her don’t need her
to tell me.to tell me.Hmmmph! She Hmmmph! She says that to says that to everyone.everyone.How sweet of How sweet of her to notice.her to notice.
I’m glad I’m glad somebody somebody
notices all the notices all the tireless tireless
sacrifices I sacrifices I make.make.
’’
How positive are you?How positive are you?
We are often faced with difficult We are often faced with difficult situations where we have choices situations where we have choices before us as to our reactions. before us as to our reactions.
CalibrateCalibrate
CalibrateCalibrate
They say:They say:
I want to complain.I want to complain.You reply:You reply:
We always welcome We always welcome feedback from our feedback from our customers.customers.
CalibrateCalibrate
They say:They say:
I demand a complete I demand a complete refund.refund.
You reply:You reply:
We will look into your We will look into your request.request.
CalibrateCalibrate
They say:They say:
I am really frustrated about I am really frustrated about your useless service.your useless service.
You reply:You reply:
Can you please explain to Can you please explain to me what has happened?me what has happened?
CalibrateCalibrate
1.1. Doesn’t anybody have a brain Doesn’t anybody have a brain in your company?in your company?
2.2. I want an answer and I want it I want an answer and I want it NOW!!!NOW!!!
3.3. Why do you have to behave so Why do you have to behave so arrogantly?arrogantly?
4.4. That price is crazy! Do you That price is crazy! Do you really think your produ\cts are really think your produ\cts are worth so much?worth so much?
Assertive CommunicationAssertive Communication
PassivePassive
AggressiveAggressive
AssertiveAssertive
PassivityPassivity Fails to express thoughts, feelings, beliefs, Fails to express thoughts, feelings, beliefs,
needsneeds Expresses thoughts and feelings in an indirect Expresses thoughts and feelings in an indirect
way: “I wish I knew someone who could teach way: “I wish I knew someone who could teach me how to change a wheel.” Indirect me how to change a wheel.” Indirect expression can be easily misunderstood - expression can be easily misunderstood - denies or restricts your rights because you do denies or restricts your rights because you do not communicate them,not communicate them,
Feels uncomfortable as a result of being Feels uncomfortable as a result of being unable to express feelings – guilty, anxious, unable to express feelings – guilty, anxious, depresseddepressed
Can suffer from headaches and other physical Can suffer from headaches and other physical symptomssymptoms
After a while may blow up After a while may blow up
AggressivenessAggressiveness
Shows little or no consideration for Shows little or no consideration for feelings and rights of othersfeelings and rights of others
Can be over-direct – verbal assaults, Can be over-direct – verbal assaults, threats, name calling, humiliation, threats, name calling, humiliation, hostile remarkshostile remarks
Can be indirect – gossip, gestures, Can be indirect – gossip, gestures, throws things, yells, sarcasm throws things, yells, sarcasm
AssertivenessAssertiveness
Communicates directly one’s needs, wants, Communicates directly one’s needs, wants, desires, and options without punishing, desires, and options without punishing, threatening or putting down the other threatening or putting down the other personperson
Respects self and othersRespects self and others Stands up for personal rightsStands up for personal rights Does not involve excessive fear and Does not involve excessive fear and
anxietyanxiety Stands up for own rights but without Stands up for own rights but without
violating other’s rightsviolating other’s rights
Is the speaker being Is the speaker being Assertive, Passive or Aggressive? Assertive, Passive or Aggressive?
Situation OneSituation One: Meeting member : Meeting member comes fifteen minutes late, looking comes fifteen minutes late, looking harassed and embarrassed.harassed and embarrassed.
CHAIRMAN: CHAIRMAN: So nice of you to So nice of you to consider joining us!consider joining us!
AggressiveAggressive
Is the speaker being Is the speaker being Assertive, Passive or Aggressive? Assertive, Passive or Aggressive?
Situation TwoSituation Two: Customer returns : Customer returns garment to shop.garment to shop.
CUSTOMER: CUSTOMER: This shirt, which I This shirt, which I bought yesterday, has a small hole in bought yesterday, has a small hole in the back and is missing two buttons. the back and is missing two buttons. Please would you give me a Please would you give me a replacement?replacement? AssertiveAssertive
Is the speaker being Is the speaker being Assertive, Passive or Aggressive? Assertive, Passive or Aggressive?
Situation ThreeSituation Three: Salesman stops a : Salesman stops a passer-by in the shopping mall.passer-by in the shopping mall.
SALESMAN: SALESMAN: Your hair’s got a lot of Your hair’s got a lot of split ends. Buy this shampoo. It’s split ends. Buy this shampoo. It’s very good. Today, two for the price very good. Today, two for the price of one …of one …
AggressiveAggressive
Is the speaker being Is the speaker being Assertive, Passive or Aggressive? Assertive, Passive or Aggressive?
Situation FourSituation Four: Jack’s mother-in-law : Jack’s mother-in-law is having a birthday party this is having a birthday party this evening. The family is expecting him evening. The family is expecting him to attend. His bossy boss tells Jack he to attend. His bossy boss tells Jack he has to work late to prepare a proposal has to work late to prepare a proposal for a big client tomorrow.for a big client tomorrow.
JACK: JACK: O.K.O.K. PassivePassive
Is the speaker being Is the speaker being Assertive, Passive or Aggressive? Assertive, Passive or Aggressive?
Situation FiveSituation Five: Manager has to : Manager has to reprimand his/her downliner.reprimand his/her downliner.
MANAGER: MANAGER: You know, the MD has You know, the MD has been noticing that you’ve been been noticing that you’ve been arriving late to workarriving late to work … …
PassivePassive
Is the speaker being Is the speaker being Assertive, Passive or Aggressive? Assertive, Passive or Aggressive?
Situation SixSituation Six: Supplier is having : Supplier is having difficulties with a client who always difficulties with a client who always places orders late.places orders late.
SUPPLIER: SUPPLIER: We are keen to process We are keen to process your deliveries punctually, so we your deliveries punctually, so we would appreciate receiving your would appreciate receiving your orders by the tenth of each monthorders by the tenth of each month..
AssertiveAssertive
Is the speaker being Is the speaker being Assertive, Passive or Aggressive? Assertive, Passive or Aggressive?
Situation SevenSituation Seven: Bank Clerk is : Bank Clerk is explaining why a customer’s request explaining why a customer’s request cannot be granted.cannot be granted.
BANK CLERK: BANK CLERK: It’s Bank Negara It’s Bank Negara Regulations. There’s nothing we can Regulations. There’s nothing we can dodo..
AggressiveAggressive
Is the speaker being Is the speaker being Assertive, Passive or Aggressive? Assertive, Passive or Aggressive?
Situation EightSituation Eight: Insurance agent : Insurance agent speaking to potential customer.speaking to potential customer.
INSURANCE AGENT: INSURANCE AGENT: Actually, Actually, there are some good insurance there are some good insurance schemes. Maybe you want to tryschemes. Maybe you want to try … …
PassivePassive
Is the speaker being Is the speaker being Assertive, Passive or Aggressive? Assertive, Passive or Aggressive?
Situation NineSituation Nine: Presenter handling : Presenter handling questions from audience.questions from audience.
PRESENTER: PRESENTER: That’s an interesting That’s an interesting point. However, it’s not within our point. However, it’s not within our scope today, so can we discuss it scope today, so can we discuss it over lunch?over lunch? AssertiveAssertive
Is the speaker being Is the speaker being Assertive, Passive or Aggressive? Assertive, Passive or Aggressive?
Situation TenSituation Ten: A is on the way home : A is on the way home from from pasar malampasar malam and meets B. and meets B.
B: B: How come you want to buy How come you want to buy rotten fruit? You got cheated!rotten fruit? You got cheated!
AggressiveAggressive
Assertiveness in Difficult Assertiveness in Difficult SituationsSituations
Broken RecordBroken Record Keep repeating your point, using a low Keep repeating your point, using a low
level, pleasant voice. Don't get pulled level, pleasant voice. Don't get pulled into arguing or trying to explain into arguing or trying to explain yourself or being manipulated. yourself or being manipulated.
Assertiveness in Difficult Assertiveness in Difficult SituationsSituations
FoggingFogging You agree with some of the fact, but You agree with some of the fact, but
retain the right to choose your retain the right to choose your behaviour.behaviour.
Assertiveness in Difficult Assertiveness in Difficult SituationsSituations
Content to Process ShiftContent to Process Shift stop talking about the problem and stop talking about the problem and
bring up, instead, how the other person bring up, instead, how the other person is behaving RIGHT NOW is behaving RIGHT NOW
Assertiveness in Difficult Assertiveness in Difficult SituationsSituations
DefusingDefusing Letting someone cool down before Letting someone cool down before
discussing an issue.discussing an issue.
Break for Break for LunchLunch
Mastering Small TalkMastering Small Talk
In a restaurant, In a restaurant, don’tdon’t say … say …
Having lunch, is it?
In the lift at 8:30am, In the lift at 8:30am, don’tdon’t say … say …
Going to work …?
In the supermarket, In the supermarket, don’tdon’t say … say …
Oh, you buy so much!
Mastering Small TalkMastering Small Talk
Meeting Someone You KnowMeeting Someone You Know
“Remember me??”
Refresh their memory by reintroducing yourself
Mastering Small TalkMastering Small Talk
Meeting Someone NewMeeting Someone New
Be the first to say “Hello”
Take time to introduce yourselfStudy the background of the person whom you’re going to meet
Experience & Story Experience & Story TellingTelling
Blind Deer SyndromeBlind Deer Syndrome
Always keep with you at least 3 of your Always keep with you at least 3 of your experiences or stories!!!experiences or stories!!!
Experience & Story Experience & Story TellingTelling
Everybody likes Everybody likes football … football … Really?Really?
Test the water before jumping straight into the deeper end
Style of Speech - Filler Style of Speech - Filler WordsWords
Filler Words Comments
BasicallyGenerallyActuallyYou see
Wait a minuteHang on
At the end of the day
NowLook
Listen
Come on
Give you a pause but meaningless.Give you a pause but meaningless.
Make others stop and listen, Make others stop and listen,
but can be aggressivebut can be aggressive
Is overused.Is overused.
Seize attention. Can be Seize attention. Can be condescending if used condescending if used repeatedlyrepeatedly
Can be aggressive.Can be aggressive.
Disagreeing & Declining Disagreeing & Declining
Good news first!Good news first!
“With respect, …”
“No offence, but …”
Wrapping up a piece of Wrapping up a piece of communication communication
Point the way ahead!Point the way ahead!
Thank Thank You!You!
You are giving a sales You are giving a sales presentation on your new presentation on your new
product:product:
Super-Clean Soap Super-Clean Soap PowderPowder
Your Production Department Staff are Your Production Department Staff are not performing well. not performing well. In the last year, each member has had In the last year, each member has had on average 10 days sick leave. on average 10 days sick leave. Every day, several members come late Every day, several members come late to work, delaying the start-up of to work, delaying the start-up of production. production. People have been ignoring the smoking People have been ignoring the smoking ban.ban.Because of their slowness, several Because of their slowness, several orders have been finished late.orders have been finished late.You are the Production Manager and You are the Production Manager and you have called your 72 members of you have called your 72 members of staff (operators and supervisors) staff (operators and supervisors) together to have a few words with them together to have a few words with them ……
All the best in yourAll the best in yourCommunication Communication Skills!Skills!
You have fantastic ideas for You have fantastic ideas for improvements to the factory improvements to the factory
(which you consider to be (which you consider to be shabby, old-fashioned, shabby, old-fashioned,
depressing and run-down.)depressing and run-down.)Present to the board your Present to the board your
recommendations with your recommendations with your budget request for RM1,500,000.budget request for RM1,500,000.
Do you know …Do you know …1.1. What is the capital city of Ecuador?What is the capital city of Ecuador?2.2. What is the world’s most recent republic?What is the world’s most recent republic?3.3. Who was the Prime Minister of Japan in 2005?Who was the Prime Minister of Japan in 2005?4.4. Which animal is referred to as equine?Which animal is referred to as equine?5.5. Which planet has recently lost its status as a Which planet has recently lost its status as a
planet?planet?6.6. Which direction is Israel from Lebanon (N,S,E or Which direction is Israel from Lebanon (N,S,E or
W?)W?)7.7. In which year did the Korean War end?In which year did the Korean War end?8.8. Who was the mayor of New York during 9/11?Who was the mayor of New York during 9/11?9.9. Which capital city was recently reported to be the Which capital city was recently reported to be the
world’s most expensive?world’s most expensive?10.10. What is the political ideology of the main political What is the political ideology of the main political
party in Nepal?party in Nepal?
Do you know …Do you know …11.11. What do the letters “BBC” stand for?What do the letters “BBC” stand for?12.12. What are the four most recent members of What are the four most recent members of
ASEAN?ASEAN?13.13. What is the capital city of the Republic of China?What is the capital city of the Republic of China?14.14. Which pharmaceutical company produces Which pharmaceutical company produces
Aspirin?Aspirin?15.15. Who is the longest-reigning living monarch?Who is the longest-reigning living monarch?16.16. Who invented / discovered Penicillin?Who invented / discovered Penicillin?17.17. What is the chemical symbol for silver?What is the chemical symbol for silver?18.18. What kind of substance is magma?What kind of substance is magma?19.19. Which is the only land-locked ASEAN country?Which is the only land-locked ASEAN country?20.20. What is (roughly) the current population of What is (roughly) the current population of
Malaysia?Malaysia?
Do you know …Do you know …1.1. What is the capital city of Ecuador?What is the capital city of Ecuador?
QuitoQuito
2.2. What is the world’s most recent republic?What is the world’s most recent republic? NepalNepal
3.3. Who was the Prime Minister of Japan in Who was the Prime Minister of Japan in 2005?2005?
Shinzo AbeShinzo Abe
4.4. Which animal is referred to as equine?Which animal is referred to as equine? horsehorse
5.5. Which planet has recently lost its status as Which planet has recently lost its status as a planet?a planet?
PlutoPluto
Do you know …Do you know …6.6. Which direction is Israel from Lebanon Which direction is Israel from Lebanon
(N,S,E or W?)(N,S,E or W?) SouthSouth
7.7. In which year did the Korean War end?In which year did the Korean War end? 19531953
8.8. Who was the mayor of New York during 9/11?Who was the mayor of New York during 9/11? Rudy GuilianiRudy Guiliani
9.9. Which capital city was recently reported to Which capital city was recently reported to be the world’s most expensive?be the world’s most expensive?
MoscowMoscow
10.10. What is the political ideology of the main What is the political ideology of the main political party in Nepal?political party in Nepal?
MaoistMaoist
Do you know …Do you know …11.11. What do the letters “BBC” stand for?What do the letters “BBC” stand for?
British Broadcasting CorporationBritish Broadcasting Corporation
12.12. What are the four most recent members of What are the four most recent members of ASEAN?ASEAN?
Myanmar, Laos, Cambodia and VietnamMyanmar, Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam
13.13. What is the capital city of the Republic of What is the capital city of the Republic of ChinaChina??
TaipeiTaipei
14.14. Which pharmaceutical company produces Which pharmaceutical company produces Aspirin?Aspirin?
BayerBayer
15.15. Who is the longest-reigning living monarch?Who is the longest-reigning living monarch? King Bhumipol of ThailandKing Bhumipol of Thailand
Do you know …Do you know …16.16. Who invented / discovered Penicillin?Who invented / discovered Penicillin?
Alexander FlemingAlexander Fleming
17.17. What is the chemical symbol for silver?What is the chemical symbol for silver? AgAg
18.18. What kind of substance is magma?What kind of substance is magma? Volcanic rockVolcanic rock
19.19. Which is the only land-locked ASEAN country?Which is the only land-locked ASEAN country? LaosLaos
20.20. What is (roughly) the current population of What is (roughly) the current population of Malaysia?Malaysia?
26 million26 million