Bad client speak: A translation of the things freelance clients say
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Transcript of Bad client speak: A translation of the things freelance clients say
![Page 1: Bad client speak: A translation of the things freelance clients say](https://reader033.fdocuments.us/reader033/viewer/2022060110/555e2f29d8b42a6a4c8b5864/html5/thumbnails/1.jpg)
what
By a bunch of freelance copywriters
![Page 2: Bad client speak: A translation of the things freelance clients say](https://reader033.fdocuments.us/reader033/viewer/2022060110/555e2f29d8b42a6a4c8b5864/html5/thumbnails/2.jpg)
I have an urgent job...!
Translation:
I am shit at timelines and keeping to them
![Page 3: Bad client speak: A translation of the things freelance clients say](https://reader033.fdocuments.us/reader033/viewer/2022060110/555e2f29d8b42a6a4c8b5864/html5/thumbnails/3.jpg)
Tell me about what you do
Translation:
I haven't read your website
![Page 4: Bad client speak: A translation of the things freelance clients say](https://reader033.fdocuments.us/reader033/viewer/2022060110/555e2f29d8b42a6a4c8b5864/html5/thumbnails/4.jpg)
There's great reward for the right person
Translation:
I don't have budget to pay you
![Page 5: Bad client speak: A translation of the things freelance clients say](https://reader033.fdocuments.us/reader033/viewer/2022060110/555e2f29d8b42a6a4c8b5864/html5/thumbnails/5.jpg)
I like to get to know who I am working with
Translation: I haven't quite worked out what I am doing and want to use you as a sounding board
![Page 6: Bad client speak: A translation of the things freelance clients say](https://reader033.fdocuments.us/reader033/viewer/2022060110/555e2f29d8b42a6a4c8b5864/html5/thumbnails/6.jpg)
This thing is going to be bigger than Facebook. We want you to take the journey with us and reap the rewards
Translation: I may never pay or credit you, unless you lawyer-up
BIGGER THAN
![Page 7: Bad client speak: A translation of the things freelance clients say](https://reader033.fdocuments.us/reader033/viewer/2022060110/555e2f29d8b42a6a4c8b5864/html5/thumbnails/7.jpg)
I've been flat out/in the office on my own/the dog's got a cold
Translation: I haven't been arsed to read your proposal/your first draft, or put in the starting deposit
![Page 8: Bad client speak: A translation of the things freelance clients say](https://reader033.fdocuments.us/reader033/viewer/2022060110/555e2f29d8b42a6a4c8b5864/html5/thumbnails/8.jpg)
It won't need rewriting, just a bit of editing
Translation: It's utterly appalling and should be deleted and never spoken of again.
![Page 9: Bad client speak: A translation of the things freelance clients say](https://reader033.fdocuments.us/reader033/viewer/2022060110/555e2f29d8b42a6a4c8b5864/html5/thumbnails/9.jpg)
Please call me to discuss
Translation: I don't really have a clue yet what I'm doing so I'd like to talk rather than write so I can stay vague.
![Page 10: Bad client speak: A translation of the things freelance clients say](https://reader033.fdocuments.us/reader033/viewer/2022060110/555e2f29d8b42a6a4c8b5864/html5/thumbnails/10.jpg)
I want you to write copy like my competitor. But not as my competitor, as me.
Translation: I am really not sure why I am in business or why you should choose me over the other guy.
![Page 11: Bad client speak: A translation of the things freelance clients say](https://reader033.fdocuments.us/reader033/viewer/2022060110/555e2f29d8b42a6a4c8b5864/html5/thumbnails/11.jpg)
I have done a rough draft to get you started
Translation: I have cut + pasted my top competitor's content into a Word doc for you
![Page 12: Bad client speak: A translation of the things freelance clients say](https://reader033.fdocuments.us/reader033/viewer/2022060110/555e2f29d8b42a6a4c8b5864/html5/thumbnails/12.jpg)
Would you mind taking a quick look at this
Translation: Would you please work on my project for free?
![Page 13: Bad client speak: A translation of the things freelance clients say](https://reader033.fdocuments.us/reader033/viewer/2022060110/555e2f29d8b42a6a4c8b5864/html5/thumbnails/13.jpg)
We don't have any competitors
Translation: I'm too lazy to have done any market research.
![Page 14: Bad client speak: A translation of the things freelance clients say](https://reader033.fdocuments.us/reader033/viewer/2022060110/555e2f29d8b42a6a4c8b5864/html5/thumbnails/14.jpg)
None of my marketing seems to be working
Translation: I've tried nothing and I'm out of ideas
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Can we meet to discuss the project?
Translation: I'm going to pick your expensive brains for the price of a coffee and then do all the work myself to save money
![Page 16: Bad client speak: A translation of the things freelance clients say](https://reader033.fdocuments.us/reader033/viewer/2022060110/555e2f29d8b42a6a4c8b5864/html5/thumbnails/16.jpg)
Can we do this over the phone?
Translation: I don’t want to put it in writing so I can quibble about specifications later.
![Page 17: Bad client speak: A translation of the things freelance clients say](https://reader033.fdocuments.us/reader033/viewer/2022060110/555e2f29d8b42a6a4c8b5864/html5/thumbnails/17.jpg)
I have an idea for a website and...
Translation: I want to be in business for myself, I just haven’t thought of the business yet
![Page 18: Bad client speak: A translation of the things freelance clients say](https://reader033.fdocuments.us/reader033/viewer/2022060110/555e2f29d8b42a6a4c8b5864/html5/thumbnails/18.jpg)
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