How to Be a Role Model for Girls
Transcript of How to Be a Role Model for Girls
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#LeanInTogetherHOW TO BE A ROLE MODEL FOR GIRLSGet the complete tips at leanin.org/tips/role-model
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Together we can encourage the next generation of female leaders.
Girls often look to the women in their lives for cues about how to think and act. When we speak confidently, take risks, and own our accomplishments, we set positive examples for girls to follow. There are countless opportunities every day to help girls gain the confidence and skills they need to lean in and take the lead.
Special thanks to Rachel Simmons and the team at Girls Leadership for their expert insights on empowering girls.
TIPS FOR WOMEN:HOW TO BE A ROLE MODEL FOR GIRLS
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Boys often get moreairtime in class than
girls—they are more likely to call out answers and
less likely to be interrupted.1
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1SITUATION
Girls can undermine themselves when they speak. Many girls use phrases like “kind of” and “sort of” to weaken their statements. Some introduce opinions with disclaimers or use upspeak so their statements sound like questions. These verbal crutches hinder a girl’s ability to share her ideas clearly and confidently—a habit that often carries over into adulthood.
Speak with confidence so girls hear what it sounds like. Avoid hedging your opinions with disclaimers or apologies. If you observe a girl falling into these same habits, explain how it undermines the point she’s trying to make. Remind her it’s not just what you say that matters, it’s how you say it, too.
SOLUTION
1 COACH GIRLS TO SPEAK CONFIDENTLY
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Girls are often taught to suppress their feelings in order to get along with
others.2
#LeanInTogether | LeanIn.Org/Together 22 TEACH TO GIRLS TO NAVIGATE CONFLICT
SITUATION
Girls are often taught to suppress their feelings in order to get along with others.3 As a result, they do not learn to speak openly
and manage conflict. Fast-forward to adulthood: too often
women avoid giving each other honest input to avoid being seen
as unkind or fall into the trap of personalizing constructive input we receive.
Model honest, direct communication for the girls in your life.
Encourage girls to speak their mind and avoid social shortcuts like
texting and social media. Explain that conflict is an inevitable part
of relationships—it’s the way we handle it that matters.
SOLUTION
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Between elementary school and high school, girls’ self-
esteem drops 3.5 timesmore than boys’.4
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SITUATION
SOLUTION 33 ENCOURAGE GIRLS TO OWN THEIR SUCCESS
Girls are often underestimated by others—and underestimate
themselves—which erodes their confidence. When girls are complimented on their achievements, they also tend to deflect praise
or minimize their accomplishments,5 yet internalizing success is an
important part of building self-confidence.
Model owning your accomplishments for the girls in your life. When
girls see that it is okay to own their success, they will feel more
comfortable doing it themselves. Moreover, look for opportunities to celebrate girls’ success and acknowledge their strengths, and push
back if they fall into the trap of sidestepping praise.
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Women often wait to apply for a job until they
meet 100 percent of hiring criteria, while men apply when they meet
just 60 percent.6
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SOLUTION 44 INSPIRE GIRLS TO GO FOR IT
SITUATION
Because girls often struggle with confidence and fear making
mistakes, they are less likely to take risks. Some girls don’t speak up in class unless they’re 100 percent sure they have the right answer,
while others shy away from trying new subjects or activities. This
same reluctance also holds women back. Compared to our male
counterparts, we can be less likely to take on high-profile projects or lobby for more senior positions.
Model taking healthy risks and talk about the times you’ve stepped out of your comfort zone. When you hear girls say they’re “not ready”
or “can’t do it,” gently push back. Make sure girls know that being
brave is rarely about dramatic moments: it’s a skill acquired, little by
little, over time.
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When girls participate in extracurricular activities, they gain leadership skills
that stay with them for life.7
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SOLUTION 55 CELEBRATE FEMALE LEADERSHIP
We expect girls to be kind and communal, so when they speak their mind or take the lead, they often face pushback. As a result,
girls often worry they’ll make people mad or be laughed at if they
assume a leadership position.8 It’s no wonder that by middle
school, girls are less interested in leading than boys—a trend that continues into adulthood.9
If you hear a girl being criticized for asserting herself or referred to
as “bossy” or “aggressive,” step in and explain she should be
applauded, not chided, for her leadership skills. Finally, make sure
girls understand the benefits of being a leader, like having a voice and making things happen.
SITUATION
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Women accomplish amazing things when we encourage and support each other. Celebrate the women who #LeanInTogether with you.
Learn more at leanin.org/together
LET’S #LEANINTOGETHER
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ENDNOTES
1 Myra Sadker and David M. Sadker, Failing at Fairness: How America’s Schools Cheat Girls (New York: Scribner, 1994); AAUW, How Schools Shortchange Girls (1992).
2 Girls, Inc., The Supergirl Dilemma: Girls Grapple with the Mounting Pressure of Expectations (2006). http://www.girlsinc-monroe.org/styles/girlsinc/defiles/TheSupergirl Dilemma--Summary Findings--low res.pdf.
3 Ibid.
4 AAUW, Shortchanging Girls, Shortchanging America (1991).
5 Girls Inc., The Supergirl Dilemma 6 Georges Desvaux, Sandrine Devillard-Hoellinger, and Mary C. Meaney, “A Business Case for Women,” The McKinsey
Quarterly, September 2008, http://www.womenscolleges.org/files/pdfs/BusinessCaseforWomen.pdf
7 Girl Scout Research Institute, Change It Up: What Girls Say About Redefining Leadership (2008). http://www.girlscouts.org/content/dam/girlscouts-gsusa/forms-and-documents/about-girl-scouts/research/change_it_up_executive_summary_english.pdf
8 Ibid.
9 Deborah Marlino and Fiona Wilson, Teen Girls on Business: Are They Being Empowered?, The Committee of 200, Simmons College School of Management (April 2003), http://www.simmons.edu/som/docs/centers/TGOB_report_full.pdf; Jennifer L. Lawless and Richard L. Fox, Men Rule: The Continued Under-Representation of Women in U.S. Politics, Women & Politics Institute, American University School of Public Affairs (January 2012), http://www.american.edu/spa/wpi/upload/2012-Men-Rule-Report-final-web.pdf; LeanIn.Org and McKinsey & Company, Women in the Workplace (2015). http://womenintheworkplace.com.