Holding On and Letting Go

What to Expect the First Year at the University of Oregon

DIVISION OF STUDENT L IFE

Welcome and Introductions

Acknowledge your role and your experience

Describe what to expect and how to prepare for your student’s transition to college

Discuss strategies for handling some of the challenges that may lie ahead

Purpose of this session is to:

Where are you from?

Oregon

Washington

California

Other US state

Other country

How large is your city or town?

More than 1 million

500,000 – 999,999

200,000 – 499,999

100,000 – 199,999

50,000 – 99,999

25,000 – 49,999

Less than 25,000

Counting your current student, how many have you sent to college?

One/only

Two

Three

Four or more

When this student goes to college will you be an “empty nester?”

College is about learning and about development – your student’s and yours

The challenges of student life are part of the learning process

We care deeply about your student and will work with you on their behalf

Our role is to create a developmental bridge

 

 

Philosophy and Approach of UO Student Life

UO Parents Expectations, Concerns & Fears

How often do you expect to communicate with your student?

More than once a day

Once a day

Two to three times a week

Once a week

Once a month

Less than once a month

How concerned are you about your student’s academics?

Extremely

Very

Moderately

Slightly

Not at all

How concerned are you about the safety of your student?

Extremely

Very

Moderately

Slightly

Not at all

Ten Biggest Off-To-College Fears for Parents

Overall safety for my student

Losing communication

Developing a new relationship

My student using poor judgment

The dangers of drugs and alcohol

Ten Biggest Off-To-College Fears for Parents

My student’s (in)ability to handle newfound freedom

My (in)ability to let go

Dealing with an empty nest

My changed role as a parent

My changed relationship with my partner/spouse at home

Today’s “Millennial” College Student

Respectful of adults; attached to parents and family

Positive social habits: focused on teamwork, achievement, modesty and good conduct

Environmentally conscious

Crave community

Expect affluence

Better educated; many parents have more education

More ethnically diverse; more multicultural identities

Millennials: Demographic Portrait and Characteristics

Majority are female

From smaller families with older parents

More protected and scheduled as student

Special, sheltered, confident, team-oriented, achieving, pressured, conventional, globally concerned

Cyber literate and media savvy – cell phones, Instagram, Snapchat, Vine, Twitter, are their tools of choice; Facebook is less so

 

 

Millennials: Demographic Portrait and Characteristics

What Will This New Partnership Between You And The UO Look Like?

New Communities & Partnerships

Learning to live in a new community is a challenge

For some students, this is the largest or most diverse community they have experienced; for others, it is the smallest and least diverse

Students thrive when they make connections, get involved, use resources, and connect with faculty, staff and each other

 

 

 

Recognize some lifetime friendships form and others are outgrown

Know that it may take time for your student to feel comfortable and homesickness can be part of the transition process

Understand that feelings of anonymity, isolation, and loss of identity can be part of the transition

Encourage your student to visit with faculty, work on campus, visit a student organization, or try a new activity

Concerns How To Help

Concerns How To Help

New Communities & Partnerships

Campus safety

Learning about how to navigate the new opportunities for decision making

Preventing crimes of opportunity

Role of substances in criminal activity and assaults

We have high expectations for:

Respectfulness and civilityEngagement and participationAcademic development

Encourage your student to take an active role in campus safety

Intervention is critical: DucksSaySomething

Encourage your students to be their best and to be respectful of others

Help them develop their ability to say when they are uncomfortable

Encourage your student to welcome the difference that they will experience, and to learn from our diversity on campus

Familiarize yourself with university policies and procedures

Become familiar with campus resources and encourage your student to utilize them

Remember that university life is different from high school

Maintain perspective, encourage realism and accountability

Help your student to develop independence: banking, laundry, making and keeping medical appointments

How You Can Help

Beginning New Partnerships

This Summer, the first year, and when they visit home

Enjoy them!

Engage in conversation about some of these topics and begin practicing new behaviors: talk with them about consent, how to say no to drugs or alcohol, etc.

Give them permission to go. Reinforce that it is time for them to take this next step (for first generation students this may be a particularly important message)

Give them a sense of being able to return – and not having to come home with only success stories to tell

Check out resources: SexPositive app, safe.uoregon.edu

This Summer

When they call/text/Facebook you:

Listen first, don’t provide all the answers. Rather, ask questions that allow them to come up with the answers/solutions themselves

There will be “highs” and “lows”. If you experience a “low” in your telephone conversation – call back the next day – chances are that things have improved!

Practice the 24-hour rule

Resist the urge to “fix” things. Ask yourself how you can teach them to be more independent and learn to problem solve

Disappointment is a part of life – for them and for you. Learning to work through this is an important developmental task

This Year

Give them time to “settle in” and breathe

Affirm the changes you observe in their appearance and their sense of self. Listen to them about their experience

Renegotiate the boundaries – mealtimes, cars, money, new friends staying over, letting you know if they are going to be away all night, etc.

When They First Visit Home

Partnering With The UO: Your Resources

Division of Student Life

Stay Informed & Involved

The UO creates opportunities for parents and family members to stay involved, informed, and connected including family weekends and regional family activities through our Parent and Family Programs.

Proactive web resources

One-on-one support and connections to the University via phone, email, and Facebook

The Parent and Family Association (PFA) was created as a way for parents and families to be constructively involved with the student experience

Office of the Dean of Students

General referral source for students and parents. Be sure to visit our website: uodos.uoregon.edu

24-hours per day, seven days per week a staff member is available for serious student emergency coverage. A staff member can be paged by UOPD, 541-346-2919

164 Oregon Hall ~ 541-346-3216 uodos@uoregon.edu