Happiness is Not Something Ready Made

7/31/2019 Happiness is Not Something Ready Made

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Happiness is not something readymade. It comes from your own actions.~Dalai Lama

Some days I wake up with rocket fuel in my veins, ready to take the day by storm. Happiness

comes totally natural. But on others it can feel like I have lead weights strapped to my shoes.

Have you ever been there?

We all have.

Happiness is a practice. Its on us to learn it.

While some days are easier to find a smile than others, happiness is a daily choice. Its a

mindset we can nurture and train. That doesnt mean its there every second, but when you

notice its missing often the tiniest shift can put you right back on top of the world.

Life will constantly test your ability to make a lemon martini out of the sourest of lemons. So

be ready. Heres your guide.

I know that some of the below sound pretty common sense. Unfortunately common sense is

not always common practice. This stuff works.

Beginners Guide to Creating Simple Daily Happiness

1. Start strong.

Do something first thing in the morning that will ensure your day is a success. This is the ace

in the hole. Its easy to roll out of bed and onto the couch for some TV or into email for therest of a meaningless day. You know this isnt the best way to wake up on top of the world.

You know how good it feels to make progress on the meaningful things in your life. So do

something about it. Have a simple plan the night before of what youll tackle first thing in the

morning. For me this is usually writing or getting active outside with a workout.

What is the one thing that would make today a success if you completed it? It may only take

10 minutes or maybe two or three hours. Know what it is and get straight to it when you

wake. Spending our time in a meaningful way has a special knack for making us feel

awesome. The rest of the day will be pure gravy.

2. Plan less and live slower.

Dont rush through tasks. One of the quickest creators of stress and killers of happiness is

rushing and believing you dont have enough time to smell the roses. There is always time.

And if you dont, the roses will eventually die.

Only plan to do 1-3 core things each day. Let the rest be a bonus. Plan twice as much time asyou think it will take and dont fill every second of your calendar with tasks.
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Humans are notorious for having ridiculous expectations of what we can get done in a day

and how quickly things take. Hence were left with a day full of stress and constant rushing.

Speed alone can cause immediate stress.

So try this: Drive slower, walk slower (dont run unless youre working out), work slower,

chew slower. You canslow down and still get things done.

3. Save time to be in awe.

If you always feel rushed, youll never feel you have time to enjoy the subtle, non-task-

related wonders of life. Do the above and youll create space to be amazed by the world.

Walk in the sand with bare feet, play with a dog, feed a duck, go on a walk with no

destination, catch a sunset, be in nature or just find a bench and watch the world happen

around you. You pick.

4. Get lost in a happiness flood.

Spend a few minutes thinking of all the bits of life that you are grateful for. The big and the

small. What are you proud of? Whats made you smile recently? Think of the things that

create an immediate smile.

Who are you thankful to have in your life? What people, experiences and things make life

rich? You can do this anywherewhile on your walk or a workout or while on the bus. Your

call. I love doing it while on my morning run.

When we are in an emotional state of pure gratitude, its impossible to feel negative emotions

like stress, anger, or unhappiness. The simpler the things you can find tofeel grateful for, the

more often youll find yourself inundated in it.

5. Know what makes you happy.

All of us have things that immediately change our state. That make us smile, get us inspired,

and simply make us happy. Maybe thats a special song, a movie, a YouTube video, a certain

workout, a book or time with a friend. Keep track of these.

Spend 10 minutes making a list in your journal and add to it anytime you notice a monster

smile on your face. For me this is writing, vigorous exercise and the Wold Cup 2010 themesong Wave Your Flag to name a few. Keep this list handy if youre ever feeling down.

6. Smile.

So simple yet so freakin powerful. This is as contagious as it gets. Do it everywhere. Be

known as the person whos always smilingespecially to those frowning. If someone is

frustrated on the road or at a grocery store, just smile ear to ear.

All it takes is a few people to reciprocate and it will spread exponentially. Plus all kinds of

studies have shown that the physical act of smiling fires off chemicals in the brain that create

happiness.
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7. Be around people who make you happy.

When youre in a funk, the last thing you often want to do is be around others. Resist that at

all cost. Life is about relationships and connections. Its those you love (or any random

person) who can change your mood in an instant.

Just be sure you choose carefully. Know who you enjoy being around, who brings you up,

and who encourages positivity. Anyone who doesnt fit this bill is not worth your time, ever.

It amazes me how many people continue to spend time aroundnegative peoplewho bring

them down. Lifes too short. Choose wisely.

8. Be selfless.

A nearly immediate route to happiness and fulfillment is to do something for someone else. It

can be as simple as opening a door or as big as getting someone their dream job. This is what

makes experiences rich. Do them daily.

Happiness not spent today does not equal more happiness tomorrow.

For some happiness comes easy. No thought or routine required. For others, simple reminders

and practices are all it takes. Happiness is a choice. It always will be.

Happiness only exists today. There is no waiting. If you arent happy today then you arent

happy.

Dont convince yourself that some sacrifice today is worth the hope of happiness in the

future. Its a fools game. You can have them both if you want.

You know the routine. I choose happiness. You?

TIPS FOR HAPPINESS IN DAILY LIFE

Daily life can be made happier. It is a matter of choice. It is our attitude that makes us feel

happy or unhappy. It is true, we meet all kinds of situations during the day, and some of

them may not be conductive to happiness. We can choose to keep thinking about the unhappy

events, and we can choose to refuse to think about them, and instead, relish the happy

moments. All of us constantly go through various situations and circumstances, but we do not

have to let them influence our reactions and feelings.

If we let outer events influence our moods, we become their slaves. We lose our freedom. We

let our happiness be determined by outer forces. On the other hand, we can free ourselves

from outer influences. We can choose to be happy, and we can do a lot to add happiness to

our lives.

What is happiness? It is a feeling of inner peace and satisfaction. It is usually experienced

when there are no worries, fears or obsessing thoughts, and this usually happens, when we do

something we love to do or when we get, win, gain or achieve something that we value. It

seems to be the outcome of positive events, but it actually comes from the inside, triggered by

outer events.
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For most people, happiness seems fleeting and temporary, because they allow external

circumstances to affect it. One of the best ways to keep it, is by gaining inner peace through

daily meditation. As the mind becomes more peaceful, it becomes easier to choose the

happiness habit.

Here are a few tips for increasing happiness in daily life:

1) Endeavor to change the way you look at things. Always look at the bright side. The mind

may drag you to think about negativity and difficulties. Don't let it. Look at the good and

positive side of every situation.

2) Think of solutions, not problems.

3) Listen to relaxing, uplifting music.

4) Watch funny comedies that make you laugh.

5) Each day, devote some time to reading a few pages of an inspiring book or article.

6) Watch your thoughts. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, start

thinking of pleasant things.

7) Always look at what you have done and not at what you haven't.

Sometimes you may begin the day with the desire to accomplish several objectives. At the

end of the day you might feel frustrated and unhappy, because you haven't been able to do all

of those things.

Look at what you have done, not at what you have not been able to do. You may have

accomplished a lot during the day, and yet you let yourself become frustrated, because of

some small things that you did not accomplish. You have spent all day successfully carrying

out many plans, and instead of feeling happy and satisfied, you look at what was not

accomplished and feel unhappy. It is unfair toward yourself.

8) Each day do something good for yourself. It can be something small, such buying a book,

eating something you love, watching you favorite program on TV, going to a movie, or just

having a stroll on the beach.

9) Each day do at least one act to make others happy. This can be a kind word, helping your

colleagues, stopping your car at the crossroad to let people cross, giving your seat in a bus to

someone else, or giving a small present to someone you love. The possibilities are infinite.

When you make someone happy, you become happy, and then people try to make you happy.

10) Always expect happiness.

11) Do not envy people who are happy. On the contrary, be happy for their happiness.

12) Associate with happy people, and try to learn from them to be happy. Remember,

happiness is contagious.


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13) Do your best to stay detached, when things do not proceed as intended and desired.

Detachment will help you stay calm and control your moods and reactions. Detachment is not

indifference. It is the acceptance of the good and the bad and staying balanced. Detachment

has much to do with inner peace, and inner peace is conductive to happiness.

14) Smile more often.

In the last few years the psychological study of happiness has experienced amazing growth.

Happiness, once a subject that barely got any attention from researchers, has become a topic

that makes the news over and over again and is the subject of many new and fascinating

personal growth books.

I believe that one of the most fascinating and important things to come out of all this new and

exciting research on happiness is the fact that our level of happiness is the result of three

different things:

50% of our happiness comes from ourgeneticsThis one is fairly self-explanatory.

Some of us are simply pre-programmed to be

happier than others.

10% of our happiness comes from ourcircumstancesOur circumstances are what Ilike to call our census info. Your age, how

much money you make, which country you live

in, your job, your neighborhood, your

education, whether youre religious or not, these

are your circumstances.

40% of our happiness comes from our intentional activitiesOur intentionalactivities are the things we do day to day. A tasty meal for dinner could be an

intentional activity, and so could a nice relaxing walk in the park.

These are the things that determine how happy (or how unhappy) we are.

Looking at that list though, the only thing that is easy to change is the intentional activities. It

is simply impossible to change our genetics, and changing our circumstances is difficult and

probably not worth the effort since it only accounts for 10% of our happiness.

Clearly, to change our happiness levels we need to focus not on the future but on what ishappening right now.

How to Squeeze More Happiness Out of Intentional

Activities

In an extremely interesting study (Is it possible to become happier? (And if so, how?)by

Sheldon, K. M., & Lyubomirsky, S) of how intentional activities can be tweaked for

maximum happiness levels, it was found that to achieve those maximum happiness levels

four things should be done:
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1. Be persistentIt was found that happiness, like all good things in life, is not easy toachieve. Happiness takes work. You should remember, however, that if you do

activities that fit well with your interests and your personality they will seem less like

work and more like play.

2. Know you can become happierThe researchers in this study found that if peopledo not want to become happier, do not believe it is possible, or are not willing toinvest the energy, then their happiness level is unlikely to change.

3. Be spontaneousIn psychology there is a phenomenon known as hedonicadaptation. It means that the amount of happiness you can extract from an activity

gradually diminishes. To forestall this, try not to make the activities you do

regularized. Instead, do them as you feel like it, and do it all at once; gorge on the

activities that make you happy, dont hold back!

4. Embrace varietyAnother essential way to fight hedonic adaptation is to make youractivities new and novel by changing things about them such as where, when, and

with who you do these activities. Be on the look out as well for other kinds of

variation you can add.

So if you want to get the most happiness out of the activities you do in your day to day life

apply these four rules to them and you will be well on your way. Keep in mind though thatthese are just rules to govern the activities that you do. Its up to you to find the day to day

activities that make you happy, and there are no shortcuts to do that, you simply have to try

them. The more things you go out and try, the more happiness-raising activities you will have

to apply these rules to.

Stu writes about how to use psychology for personal growth over atImproved Lives. He is the

author of posts such as112 Quick and Easy Personal Growth ExercisesandThe Experts

Speak Part 2: Favorite Personal Growth Techniques and Life-Hacks(which Donald was

featured in!).

6 Rules for Your Daily Happiness

What a bike ride!

Its a decision I make every morning when I wake up.Happiness is a choice; I

can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my bodythat no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Eachday is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, Ill focus on the new day and all the
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happy memories Ive stored away just for this time in my life. My age and

experience is like a bank account. You withdraw from what youve put in.

So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of

memories! Thank you for your part in filling my Memory Bank.

I am still depositing.

Remember the six simple rules to be happy:

1 Free your heart from hatred

2 Free your mind from worries

3 Live simply.

4 Give more than you take.

5 Expect less

6 Savor Your sunrise and sunset- Every Day

I received the above message in an email from a good friend yesterday and Iwanted to expand upon it and share it with you on my Blog today.

You see, my friend had to change his vocation a few years ago for health reasons.He had to leave a career that he is very good at and had immersed himself into

totally. He had been in his profession for over 20 years-almost his whole adult life.

It is his identity!

He had to choose how he was going to deal with the process of this change, andIm happy to tell you he has made the transition with grace and dignity.Hestayed true to himself, built onto the skills he already had, learned some new ones,and took a few bumps in the road of life along the way.

But along the way has been filled with Happiness- His

Choice.

He could have chosen to be filled with anger and resentment, he didnt want

to change careers- But he didnt -He chose to free his heart from anger and


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hatred and re-create himself. He wanted to get physically fit again- he usedto run 20-30 miles per week and loved competing in local races, but an ACL injury

would prevent him from running now- so he didnt moan and lament hiscircumstances- He bought a Bicycle! And created an opportunity to build a new

passion in his life- A CHOICE to create Happiness!

How do You Free your mind from Worry?Choose to live in the moment..NOW! Who does it serve to live in the past and re-create feelings of regret and

poor decisions? Lets make the conscious effort to understand and learn from our

past, and move into the present with that knowledge and experience. Our dailypositive self talk will defeat worry Every Time!

How do you Live Simply?Lets start by eating when you are hungry, and when

you are eating, turn off the TV, cellphone, laptop, etc. Remember your stomach isabout the size of your fist. and drink a glass of water before and after each mealyou eat.

Get sufficient rest- Again instead of watching TV before going to bed, turn it off

and read a book. As you read, be conscious of and how you are breathing. You will

be amazed at how the rest of your body relaxes when you slow down yourbreathing. I like to stretch my back, neck, shoulders, and hamstrings before I lay in

bed to read and rest.

Give More than you take. This is a way easy one.. Start each interaction withothers with a smile- it just might be the first smile they have received for the day !

Plus, its Free! Listen twice as much as you speak..People love to talk about

themselves, and by listening you can learn many things.

Expect less. Do you set yourself up for disappointment by expecting too muchfrom others? Understand people do things in their own time, space, and place at

their own pace. All I can do is set my expectations for myself,lead by example,and learn from how others do the same.

Savor your Sunrise and Sunset- Every Day!
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October sunrise

My alarm is set for 5:00 am every day.I do this for a few reasons-

I am a slave to mydaily habits- stretching, reading, writing my afformations, and Ilove to watch the sun rise! The sunrise is a New Beginning- Every Day !Just being part of the beauty of nature at that time of day revitalizes my soulto thegood that will be before me today! The birds singing, the transition from night to

day, the peace and quiet as my world awakens if very powerful ! Sunsets are

pretty Awesome as well, but every day I start with the rise of the Sun I

know I have set the tone for the rest of my day. I create the choice of

Happiness by doing simple things every day.Id like you to share

some things you do to create happiness in your day.you are welcome to postthem below or send me an email [email protected].

Savor Your Day!

How about living and spending one day in a different way from your other days? You can

create and enjoy a beautiful, satisfying and wonderful day. You can do so, by making small

changes in your daily life.

Your preparations have to start the night before.

Sit down on your bed before lying down to sleep, and tell yourself that tomorrow morning

you are going to wake one hour earlier than usual. Repeat some autosuggestions or

affirmations to make the mind accept this idea. Think for a while about the benefits you will

gain by waking and getting up earlier, and about the things you can do in this extra hour.

It is not enough just to wake up early. Often, after waking up, we do not get out of bed, but

stay for some more minutes, and then fall asleep again. You have to persuade and explain to

your mind that you have to get out of bed immediately after awakening. It is pleasant to

cuddle under the blankets, especially on a cold morning, but on this special day you need to

get out of bed immediately.
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Set your alarm clock to the appointed hour and enter your bed. While in bed, watch the

thoughts that pop up into your mind, but try to do so detachedly and without any tension. Just

watch them dispassionately, calmly, and in a relaxed manner, until you fall asleep.

When the alarm clock rings in the morning, get up immediately, with a smile on your face.

Don't give in to the desire to stay some more minutes in bed. Don't listen to your mind, whichwill probably persuade you to stay in bed a little longer, because it is too early. The feeling of

pleasure and power you gain by getting immediately is greater that the pleasure of staying in

bed.

Get up, wash, change your clothes and sit for

meditation for about twenty minutes, using any

meditation technique that you know. If you do not

know how to meditate, just sit down and visualize

some pleasurable and happy events from the past.

I am not going to describe how to handle each andevery action and situation during the day, as every

individual has a different life and schedule. However, I am going to give some general

examples and hints to help you design your own day.

Waking up earlier, gives you more time in the morning. So why not enjoy anourishing and tasty breakfast? Prepare something you love, something that you

usually do not have the time to prepare in the morning. You have got the time today.

Endeavor to be aware of what you are doing throughout the day. When you eat forexample, pay attention to your food, and don't read the newspaper or watch the

television at the same time. If you do so, you will enjoy your food much more. In the

same way try to focus your attention on your other activities. Concentrating on what

you are doing helps you do it better and more efficiently.

Remember to smile more often during the day. It is important that the smile is not aartificial, but that it comes from inside you. Smiling makes you and other people feel

happier.

Expect the best and do your best. Be patient and tolerant toward others. While driving your car, decide to be kind and tolerant toward the other drivers. Stop

at street crossings to let the pedestrians cross the street. Be courteous and considerate

on the road. This behavior will make you and the other drivers and pedestrians feel

good. As a consequence, they too will be kind to other drivers and pedestrians, at leastfor a little while.

A good morning with a smile has a great influence on everyone. Greet the people whowork with you, even if you have never done so before.

Coming to work with a strong intention to have a great day, and handling everythingin a positive and decisive manner, will have its influence upon the people whom you

come in contact with. This will help you to broadcast peace, good will and happiness.

Do your best to be nice and polite today, to your family, colleagues, friends, the sellerat the grocery or supermarket, to the bus or cab driver, to the delivery boy and to

anyone else you meet today. It is all a matter of inner attitude and choice. Exercise

your power to choose a polite and considerate attitude.

Make a decision that during this special day you are going to handle everything in acool and calm way. If you need to meet someone or do something that usually makes


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you feel nervous or irritated, have a talk with yourself beforehand. Tell yourself that

you are going to stay calm and relaxed, and that you are going to handle everything in

the best way. If you feel you need it, make several mental rehearsals. Visualize

yourself going through the situation in a very efficient way, and achieving a positive

outcome.

In this special day act unhurriedly. Do your best to stay relaxed. Remind yourselfoften that it is your beautiful, wonderful day. Invite into your mind thoughts and

feelings of happiness, satisfaction and competence. Imagine scenes and events from

your past experiences, when you felt good and happy. By concentrating on these

mental images you let the associated feelings and emotions well up again. Enjoy these

good feelings, and try to go on enjoying them, even after you stop thinking about

them.

When back home from work, what about a flower, a book, or some other small gift toyour spouse and children? Even a smile, a hug or a kiss will do. You have tried all day

to be kind to other people and stay positive. Do this at home too. Devote some quality

time to your family. You have been out the whole day; now enjoy being together with

them. Earning money to suppurt your family is not enough. They need to feel yourlove and attention too.

During this special day, make also some special effort to use your time moreefficiently. Do not watch too much TV, and shorten the time that you read the

newspaper. It is better to use this time to read something inspiring that will help you

improve your life, or devote a few minutes to meditation in the afternoon or evening.

Don't forget to devote some time for yourself. I have talked about meditation, but doalso something that you love, such as reading a book, writing, devoting some time to

your hobby, walking or any other physical exercises.

The above are suggestions to show you what you can do. You can adapt these hints to your

specific situation.

Try to live one wonderful day. Then enjoy another day like it. If you continue, this will

become a habit.

Remember that today is a special and wonderful day. It is different from the other days.

Happiness is Not Something Ready Made

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