Getting Unstuck: Trust Repair Strategies › assets › docs › Meetings › 17am › wendy...
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6/4/17 1 Getting Unstuck: Trust Repair Strategies 2017 Federation of Tax Administrator’s Conference Dr. Wendy Fraser, Fraser Consulting, LLC Trust matters because… Our entire system of daily living – the social order depends on trust – buying groceries, educating children, going to the doctor, paying taxes – almost all decisions involve trusting someone else. 2 Photo credit: Shutterfly Source: Rotter (1971) Photo credit: dor.wa.gov
Transcript of Getting Unstuck: Trust Repair Strategies › assets › docs › Meetings › 17am › wendy...
6/4/17
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GettingUnstuck:TrustRepairStrategies2017FederationofTaxAdministrator’sConference
Dr.WendyFraser,FraserConsulting,LLC!"#$%&'()*"(+&,-./.'()*"(&01#*2345#6+&77089:;<<9;9:<9&="33!"#$%'()*"(>=1?=)*4.#"4@5*54 &!!!"#$%&'(")*+
Trustmattersbecause…Ourentiresystemofdailyliving– thesocialorderdependsontrust– buyinggroceries,educatingchildren,goingtothedoctor,payingtaxes– almostalldecisionsinvolvetrustingsomeoneelse.
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Photocredit:Shutterfly
Source:Rotter(1971)
Photocredit:dor.wa.gov
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3Photocredit:Forbes.com
Purpose
Roles
CoreProcesses
Communication
InterpersonalDynamics
Dr.WendyFraser,2017
MostCommonTrustViolations
18%
61%
75%
89%
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Purpose
Roles
CoreProcesses
Communication
InterpersonalDynamics
Dr.WendyFraser,2017
MostCommonTrustViolations
18%
61%
75%
89%
36%
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Reflect
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• Whatjusthappened?
• WhyamIfeelingthisway?
• Whatbothersmethemostaboutthesituation?
• CanIseethesituationfromanotherangle?
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Peoplehaveatendencytotalkaboutwhatother’sdo.
But,weneedtolookatourselvesfirst.
Jones,2015
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Ifyourstuck…
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Bluma Zeigarnik,1921
TheZeigarnik Effectstatesthatpeoplerememberuncompletedorinterruptedtasksbetterthancompletedtasks
Whatdoesthismeanfortrust?
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Bluma Zeigarnik,1921
Wereplayinourmindsmomentswhenweexperiencedtrustviolations.
Ittakesenergy,time,anderodesourabilitytofocusonotherthings.
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Reflect
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• WhatdidIdotocontribute?
• Whatdidotherscontribute?
• Whatishappeninginthegroupororganizationthatisaffectingus?
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B = f (p,e)
KurtLewin,1936
BehaviorIsafunctionofthepeopleintheirenvironment
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Thequalityandproductivityofanyparticularsystemisdirectlyproportionaltothequalityoftheconnectednesswithinthatsystem.
Broom&Seashore,2013
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“WhatGoogleLearnedFromItsQuesttoBuildthePerfectTeam”ByCHARLESDUHIGGNewYorkTimes,February25,2016
Critical:PsychologicalSafety
Critical:UnderstandingandbeingabletoinfluenceteamnormsTwoBehaviorssurfaced:Turntakingandsocialsensitivity
Critical:Sharingabitaboutyourselfwitheachother
Important:Cleargoalsandacultureofdependability
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Understand
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Acknowledgeyourpartandapologizeasneeded.
Workongettingclearaboutwhathappened.
Giveeachpersonachancetosharetheirperspective.
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Wedancearoundaringandsuppose,whilethetruthsitsinthemiddleandknows.
RobertFrost
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CelesteHeadlee:10WaystoHaveaBetterConversation
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TEDtalkfilmedMay2015
KathrynSchultz“OnBeingWrong”
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TEDtalkfilmedMarch2011
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Trustingtoomuchinthefeelingofbeingonthecorrectsideofanything,canbeverydangerous.
Schultz,2011
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Whenwestopentertainingthepossibilitythatwecouldbewrong,wewindupdoingthingslike…torpedoingtheglobaleconomy.
Schultz,2011
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Repair
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RepairingtrusttakescourageAnd amindsetthathumanbeingscanevolveandchange…
Thequestionbecomes:WhodoIwanttobetoday?
Beintentional...Repairisachoice.Howdoesitservemetoholdontothepast?WhatdoIneedtomoveforward?
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Trainpeopleforunderstandingratherthanagreement.
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Johari Window
JosephLuft &HarringtonIngham(1955)
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Describeanimportantexperienceinyourliftandexplainhowthatexperienceaffectsyourvaluesandbehaviortoday.
2-3minutesperperson
Inpairs…
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Research:TheArtoftheApology(Lewicki,Polin,&Lount,2016)
1. Anexpressionofregretfortheoffense…“I’msorry”2. Anexplanationofwhytheoffenseoccurred3. Anacknowledgement ofresponsibilityforcausingtheoffense4. Adeclarationof“repentance”thattheviolatorwillnotrepeat
theoffense5. Anoffertorepairwhateverdamagemayhavebeencausedby
theoffense6. Arequestforforgivenessforhavingcommittedtheoffense
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DurableResolution
SatisfactionTriangle
SubstantiveSatisfaction
(RightStuff)
PsychologicalSatisfaction
(FeelsRight)
ProceduralSatisfaction
(RightSteps)
ForgiveMe©Fraser,2016
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DurableResolution
SatisfactionTriangle
SubstantiveSatisfaction
(RightStuff)
PsychologicalSatisfaction
(FeelsRight)
ProceduralSatisfaction
(RightSteps)DeclarationForgiveMe
©Fraser,2016
Evolve
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