FLACK #5

Pilot Issue 5 : January 2011

get involved with FLACK

Got an idea for an article?

Interested in learning some new skills?

Want to help with binding or distribution?

FLACK NEEDS YOU!

We’re at Wintercomfort every Monday from 10 – midday

and at 222 every Thursday 3 – 5pm

email: kirsten@!ackcambridge.org.uktext Kirsten on: 07962 685220

or drop by on a Wednesday 1 – 5pm :

The FLACK Base is is a friendly welcoming place with a reliable supply of good conversation, tea/coffee and biscuits. It’s marked on the map on the back cover – very near the Access Surgery , just ask for FLACK at Reception.

Why FLACK ?Well ... homeless people get a lot of !ack ! (aka random

criticism) ... and ‘to !ack’ means to publicise and promote and that’s what FLACK is all about ... providing a positive insight into who homeless people are, what they have to say and offer.

about the front cover

I was in Wintercomfort having a poor me day! As you do when you feel contaminated after drinking the night before. There were two ladies who were running an Art Therapy class and I asked them what it was about. I was pleasantly surprised with their answer, so I said “ok, I’ll have a go!”

When I started painting I didn’t really know what to expect. All that I did know was that it wasn’t going to be your average tree. As I got more into it I really started to enjoy myself and felt compelled to use more and more colours.

I started with the trunk and then began from underneath to create the part which is usually leafy and twiggy, but I didn’t want mine to be like that. I had more of a liquid lucid type idea going on, as though the tree top were moving around and breathing, the way clouds look on the weather on TV. I wanted to use the white of the paper instead of white paint, although I didn’t want those areas to be transparent.

When I had #nished, I asked one of the Art Therapists what she thought about it and to my surprise the #rst thing she said was “well it’s got no roots!”

I wasn’t disheartened by this, I thought it was an interesting observation.

Jade Rivers

Rest In Peace

Paul Longhurst 1949 - 2010

We were very sorry to hear of Paul’s death on Dec 21st. If anyone would like to share their memories of him, we will be dedicating a page in his honour in our February issue of FLACK.

Please contact: Kirsten on 0792 685220 or email kirsten@!ackcambridge.org.uk

Greetings !Close to a month into suburban life and to my quiet delight, the !at really is starting, not only to look but feel, like home (no thanks to the tight-arsed DWP, who I hate ).

I t ’ s n o t e x a c t l y domestic bliss but for now it is mine and most of the problems from last month's 'Slice of Life' are either sorted or close to it.

Problem 1. How to get my stuff to the !at .. It cost sixty quid to get my belongings from the hostel to the !at. Problem 2. Broken Boiler. It’s now warm and civilized (since the six repairs were eventually done), empty but civilized, plus my faithful little Curly dog makes this place feel cozy and safe. Problem 3. No Grant. The DWP are playing mind games with me - my appeal against their decision to offer me no money for basic living standards resulted in the offer of a loan instead. Not what I asked for and no way do I accept losing twenty quid, a Giro.Problem 4. My Detox ....

Having managed to stay clean for a whole month, to say I 've a lot of t ime on my hands is an understatement! I believe a person can fall out of time, simultaneously present and very far away. A minute can feel like an hour but blink and a week is gone. I #nd myself scanning my new environment over and over, trying my best to keep the faith and planning my next move. I am too messed up to work (apart from my

Flack contributions) so I spend a lot of time considering how to keep this ship a!oat, or whether I can at all. I've always seen life as a wonky game of monopoly – you may think you’re about to buy Pall Mall but somehow you’re going straight to jail. In other words it’s as confusing as it is unfair, but here's the thing; you're not alone. My favourite feeling is to be reminded of that fact. I don't care if you're down and out or heir to a throne, you can be vulnerable just like everyone else. With this knowledge, I connect to the world.

While my eyes move over the collection of little things on my front-room window sill (tea lights and appointment cards etc), they linger on a good-luck card from the girls who run the chemist's where I've routinely collected vital meds and, just as routinely, moaned for the past two years (the whole time I was at the hostel plus the transition into my own home). I knew they cared but I had no idea how genuine that care was. My lack of trust in everything means the slightest gesture of good-will is profound and quite overwhelming, the many chats with the lovely staff have been so valuable, lifting my mood just enough.

So, I see this card every day. It’s quickly become a familiar part of the landscape. But for some reason I read it again with new eyes. It reads: ”hope you and Curly will be very happy in your new home, L” (obligatory kiss). “Good luck in your new home. S” (obligatory kiss), Good luck!! XXX M . This last message was from the pharmacist who faithfully dispenses my meds but hardly ever says anything, only ever speaking in a professional capacity and only very occasionally. What struck me about this last message was that the most quiet member of the team had been listening all along. What I judged as indifference was quiet professionalism and quiet care. The best kind.

FLACK tip off # 4 ~ Needle Exchange at Rowlands Chemist, Histon Road

Slice of Life - Three kisses from my pharmacist

by Jude Evans

Did you know that Rowlands Chemist on Histon Rd next to the Post Office offers a needle exchange? I highly recommend this to everyone living at 222 and in the Histon Road area.

The staff team are really keen to help people stay safe and healthy. They are incredibly friendly and completely non-judgmental. Even though I’ve moved to the Arbury I’m going to stay with them - they’re that good! So it’s hardly surprising that Rowlands recently won a Chemist of the Year Award - well deserved! Congratulations to you all.Jude Evans

15 minute exposure of FLACK tea making facilities

Can you spot the ghostly !gure of Ian, posing?My beer can wobbled half way through the exposure, but I quite like the effect - note the sign is in reverse!

Our digital and beer can group photos - it was a !ve minute exposure.

Beer Can Photography

by Homeless Harry

The Flack Base has been playing host to beer can camera workshops. How in hell can you make a camera out of a beer can? You may well ask. It is a pinhole camera, which you may remember from physics classes from

school. You remove one end of the beer can, insert a piece of photographic paper into the can, opposite to a pinhole. The end is sealed and when the pinhole is uncovered, the photographic paper is exposed to the image it faces.

I have had some recent experience of pinhole phenomena. On a visit to Hampi in India I was shown around a temple where the image of another temple across the square is projected upside down onto a wall via a small window acting as an aperture. This, the priests claimed was the oldest camera in the world.

The time of the exposure varies depending on the amount of light and the size of the pinhole. We were explained the exact mathematical formula that one employs to work out the exposure time. Sorry, teacher that bit was too clever for me and anyway I was too caught up in the fun of taking the photograph and seeing whether it would come out alright. Suffice to say that in the car park on a dull day about 5 minutes seemed to work out quite well.

What would an onlooker have made of it all? The group were scattered along the corridors and in the car park, striking all manor of daft poses. Some of which showed great originality. This of course demonstrated to us that the science of photography is only half the story, it has to be married to the art of composition.

Then back to the Flack base which had been converted into a makeshift darkroom. Huddled in the dark with only an eerie red light to illuminate the proceedings. We were taught the process of developing our photographs. First into the developing !uid, then the stop bath, then into the #xer and then #nally into a water bath. Wow. What a buzz watching the photographs “come out” in the developing !uid.

Soul Assassin by S. Robin Ahmed

You kissed me, then you cursed mePhysically, mentally you oppressed me.

You made me your slaveHibernating in my own cave.

You broke my soul many o’ timesFor you I committed so many crimes.

Only for you I done it allStole and begged till I fall.

You made me cry, you made me screamYou’re a nightmare not a dream.

You shook me hard, made me rattleMany wars you won, but not the battle.

Then came the day you became weakI got hope though it was bleak.

Now I am free, now I feel braveYou’re the one I no longer crave.

King of drugs you wear the crownYou’re nowt but a dirty bag of brown.

Dedicated to all those with drug addiction. There is always a chance because there is always a choice.

image by ghettokid

The second workshop, now that we were seasoned beer can photographers, was centred around a more ambitious project. For this we have set up beer can cameras to remain in place for 3 months. Now that is a long exposure! Now obviously I can’t report the results of this to you at this time, but the general idea is that the photographic paper takes the image over this long period and “fogs”. Because the exposure is so long the camera captures the trails of the sun’s daily journeys across the sky. The photographic paper is scanned immediately into the computer as a brown image. This is then digitally inversed and appears on the screen as a blue image, similar to a negative being inversed to produce a photograph. So three months from now I will let you know how our photographs have turned out. We have placed cameras around the city including the Memorial Garden at 222 and Wintercomfort.

The method of long exposure, pin-hole photography has been pioneered by photographer, Justin Quinnell. This is one of his six month exposures of Clifton Suspension Bridge in Bristol.

I must also mention that Mark brought along a selection of books of photography which I personally found fascinating and have kindled a real interest in photography and its history. If you get the chance to attend one of Mark Woods-Nunn’s photography workshops, I can thoroughly recommend them. They are informative and bloody good fun.

I have been a professional portrait painter for over thirty years. In that time, I have painted people from all walks of life, from captains of industry to chairmen of councils and university dons, people who see themselves, and are seen by society, as successful. On rare occasions the mask falls and one glimpses behind the trappings of power and worldly wealth the sitter’s vulnerability and humanity. But that is the exception to the rule.

On other occasions, however, I have painted purely for my own pleasure “ordinary“, real people, none of whom will ever #gure in ‘Who’s Who’ but whose life and character I have found fascinating. Why should it only be the rich or famous who are worthy of recording for posterity?

Last year, I did this chalk drawing of Tony Hargreaves which I exhibited at the Cambridge Drawing Society Exhibition in the Guildhall. It was a subject far removed from the normal exhibition and I felt a certain nervousness as to how it would be received or even whether it would be accepted for exhibition at all. The public response was amazing and it was clear from the feedback I received that many people had been deeply moved by the subject.

Sadly Tony died, but I would like to continue working on the theme of ‘Homelessness’ with a view to producing an exhibition of drawings and paintings of people who have experienced it. A share of the proceeds will go to organizations which help them.

What can I bring to this project, apart from the ability to paint? Hopefully, a certain understanding .

In 1995 , following divorce, I moved to a different part of the country, and into rented accommodation. Suddenly I had lost my ident i t y, and my “respectability” . How fragile that proved to be. I found myself scrabbling around for work and at one point less than £100 away from being on the street.

I realise, of course, that my experience pales into insigni#cance compared to that of anyone who has actually been on the street but I will never forget the fear, the loneliness, the loss of friends, and the impending sense of worthlessness, as I tried desperately to cling on to some sense of dignity and self respect . I would hope that all of this will allow me to see and paint with a more compassionate eye.

I very much hope that people will wish to take part in this project and be willing to sit for me. My aim is to make the public aware of the problem and to show that the “homeless” are not different, they are not to be shunned or simply ignored.

Homelessness can happen to anyone .

If you would like to sit for John’s Homeless Portraits Project - Contact Kirsten at FLACK : 07962 685220, kirsten@!ackcambridge.org.uk

Meet John Glover - he wants to paint your portrait ...for a ground-breaking exhibition in aid of homelessness charities

Mrs McLeod

John Glover and his quick sketch of Punk Ian (Yardley)

mailto:[email protected]

mailto:[email protected]

object of the month # 5by Josie Camus (Fitzwilliam Museum)

Head of Hermes (downstairs Gallery 21)Boundaries! That is where interesting things start to happen… We human beings live on the boundary between earth and air, and we do like to be at the boundary between land and sea!

So this week’s object is an ancient Greek boundary marker. It is a two faced head, which would have stood on top of a square column. The original column would have had a penis carved half way down it (though the one in the museum is plain!) These markers would often be placed by the entrance to a house, or at crossroads, or country borders. They were related to Hermes, the Greek god of boundaries, travellers and also luck. Perhaps it is when we are at the cross roads that we need luck most?

The Roman equivalent of Hermes is Janus, the two faced god of doors, gates, beginnings, endings and time. His two faces look simultaneously back into the past and ahead to the future. So it is #tting that his namesake is the month of January, gateway to the year ahead.

Come and see Hermes with us on January 26th meet by side entrance at 2pm

For those who pray to Janus

A drunken rant, a silent rattleA voice lost in a crowd

A threat, a scream, a pleaA silence, a need unspoken

So listen, listen hardYou will hear the whisper

A desperate sound from a far off landAnd yet so close to homeIs it a chant, a call to armsa broadcast of the news

Be still, you'll hear it all aroundFor Janus, ancient Roman god

A prayer to that god of doorways.

Homeless Harry

Janus – Symbol, metaphor, emblem

The signi#cance to the homeless community is easily recognised. Who else lives in doorways? People wanting a doorway of their o w n , b o t h r e a l a n d m e t a p h o r i c a l . A n e w beginning, the end of an old lifestyle and the start of a new one.

And here at FLACK the metaphor holds good. Any publication looks in two directions simultaneously. One face looking to the readership and one face at the contributors who write the articles.

Many thanks to Andy Flack for his timely Janus face artwork for this month’s issue. You must be psychic!

WHAT’S ON@ wintercomfortfor the homelessalso welcoming people at risk of homelessness and those who have moved on into their own tenancies.

8.30 - 10: Street Outreach

8.30 - 10: Mental Health Drop-In with Laurence

10 - 3.30: Weaving & Sculpture with Roger and Susanna

10 - 12: meet up with FLACK

10.30 - 1: Squeaky Gate Music


10 - 3.30: Weaving & Sculpture with Roger and Susanna

1 - 2: Computers with Alison

1.30 - 3.30 : Sports with Ally

2 - 3: Shaw Trust Advice (by appt)


10.30 - 3.30: Willow Weaving with Roger

10 - 11: My Cambridge with Alison

11 - 2 : Film Club

1 - 2: Maths with Alison

10.30 - 3.30: Willow Weaving with Roger

10.30 - 2.30: Meet up with Cambridge Link-Up

Matchstick Crafts with Mark


9 - 11: Alcohol Drop-In with Malcolm

9 - 12 : Quiz and Board Games

12.30 - 2: Cooking with Wendy

2 - 3: Literacy with Alison

& every day..8.30 - 10 Showers, laundry and clothing store

Free cooked breakfast for rough sleepers or £1.75 + free sandwich lunch if taking part.

8.30 - 3.30 Internet access

& elsewhere see the map on back page for where these activities take place >

2 - 5pm : FLACK Workshop Make an appointment and we’ll help you contribute to the magazine . 07962 685220

Roots ‘n Shoots: 9.45 pick-up from Wintercomfort

9.30 - 10.30 RSPCA Open Sur-gery, Abbey Pool Carpark

12 - 1 Football Kelsey Kerridge

11 - 5 : Reworks Bike WkShop

Cyrenians Ceramics: 9.45 & 1.45 pick-up from Wintercomfort

1 - 5 : FLACK Drop-In

Roots ‘n Shoots: 9.45 pick-up from Wintercomfort

9.30 - 10.30 RSPCA Open Sur-gery, Abbey Pool Car Park

3 - 5 : FLACK @ 222

Cyrenian’s Women’s Pottery : 10am - midday

12.30 : Women’s Group @ 222

11 - 5 : Reworks Bike WkShop

9.30 - 10.30 RSPCA Open Sur-gery, Abbey Pool Car Park

sunday monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday

3 0 Tune into: Cambridge 105FM7pm - 8pm: Rarities

(rare and alternate versions of great songs)

3 1

details from YMCA new mural>

J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 1 F L A C A L E N D A R

1 HAPPY NEW YEAR !What’s your resolution?

2Blues Jam from 8.30Alma Pub , Russell Court FREE

3 4 53pm : Cambridge Link-Up Meeting @ 222 Self Build

6 79.30 -12 Carpentry @winter-

comfort

8 FLACK Film Club#1at FLACK Base 8pm

9Live Jazz, from 8.30 Cricketers

Melbourne Place FREE

1 0 1 1 1 2Cupcake Class 2 - 3.30

Art Group 12 - 3@ wintercomfort

1 3 1 49.30 -12 Carpentry @winter-

comfort

Street Voices 10.30 - 12.30Akeman Street

1 5 Mischief: Sculpture and draw-ings by Lucia NogueriaKettle’s Yard Gallery, Castle Hill

1 6 Spoken Word on: Cambridge 105FM

9 - 10 pm Headstand 10 - 11pm Evening Un-

der Lamplight11pm Bunbury Banter (play)

1 7 8 - 9 Medical Advice Drop In @ wintercomfort

1 88.30 - 11.30: St John’s Footcare @ Wintercomfort

1 9Cupcake Class 2 - 3.30

@ wintercomfort

2 0 2 1Street Voices 10.30 - 12.30Akeman Street

2 2 Tune into: Cambridge 105FM

7 - 8 Club Global8 - 9 Beatnik (funk,jazz)

9-11 Margaret Scratcher (B-Boy Funk


11am - 12: Silver Lining12 - 12.30: Our Gaff

(radio sitcom)

2 4 2 5 2 6 Fitzwilliam Museum side entrance 2pm

Cup Cake Class 2 - 3.30Art Group 12 - 3

@ wintercomfort

2 7 2 8Street Voices 10.30 - 12.30Akeman Street


11am -12 Bums on Seats(#lm reviews)

12 - 1 Flavour (food and drink)

Paranoid Play For TodayScriptwriter: Julian Raphael with additional material by Robin AhmedFLACK PRESENTS the 2nd Installment of Possibly Gay Trapped Miners of Argentuna (working title…)…previously on the show as we left Pablo Rojas-the arty one-commented “there shall be no excessive brutality. Because all of us, all of us, down to the 33rd, down to Kid A, are brothers! Admittedly there are an awful, stinking lot of us; we are a big macho family! We are like BoyZone multiplied by 7! Or the sons of a randy mad Sultan! (pause). We are like Band Of Brothers on Fox Network! We shall never allow one of our flock to be tram-pled, for then, I, Pablo will strike down upon thee with burning righteousness and furious anger those who try to poison and destroy my brothers. Then they will know my name is Pa-blo!” – (Rojas. Born 1958)

So now prepare a nice cuppa and a plate of biccies, plonk yourself in your favourite armchair and join us as we burrow back through the untrustworthy bedrock to the big hole in the ground containing our long lost friends at CAMP BEDROCK!!!

Jordie Voice:( It’s Day or Night 66 down the Big Brother Mine…it’s turning pear-shaped.)Manuel Gonzalez: I’m so bored! I’m so terribly mind-achingly bored I could crush a grape…that’s how bored I am brothers, if you can dig?Victor Zamora &Jimmy Sanchez: Eh? Ha ha! ‘ere Manni catch…(they toss something the size and shape of a grape.) CRUSH THAT BABY!(Manni catches the thing and squeezes.)Manuel: Argh! Argh! Argh! (sniffs his hand) ARGH? Oh my God! What is that?! Arrghh! (He runs off into a tunnel screaming)Victor and Jimmy: Aah! He fell for it! My God! (pause) Oy! Mario, Manni just ate one of your piles! Ha ha! That was funny!Carlos Mamani(the only Bolivian in the mine): (Sighing)Yeah. I guess that was about the most fun we gotto expect down here! How I miss my Amstrad computer…much more stimu-lating than listening to Mario tweezering off his bum grapes. And a hell of lot healthier! I’m gonna die down ‘ere with you foreign devils! What did I ever do to deserve this?Claudio Yanez: You triple-exed yo mumma no doubt! You Bolivian c ** t!(They fight, but half-heartedly)Omar Reygadas (Fills the after-fight Silence he is at the far end of a tunnel dancing weirdly, singing): “Beat me! Hate me. You’ll never break me! Will me. Thrill me!Skinhead! Deadhead! Everybody gone bad! Situation, aggravation! In the suite, on the news! Everybody dog food! Bang bang! Shot dead! Everyone: Shut up! etc.Omar: Everybody gone mad! All I wannaEveryone: Shut up you’re shite!Omar: say is that they don’t really care about us! Eeeehhheeee!!!” (Omar flings himself into the Jacko pose with one hand on his crotch and other in the air.)Edison Pena: Omar finks ‘e’s on MTV! Ha ha!Yonni Barrios: ‘E finks ‘e’s onna X-Factor! Wanka!Dario Segovia: He wants sponsoring by Pepsi next!Franklin Lobos: Yeah! Right on! You said it! Now please Omar, stop singing. I don’t know how you do it anyway down here, it’s 98% humidity, like a sauna with no tiles, like a whale’s belly.(pause). You remind me of David Bowie in LABYRINTH but an Aztec cum Spanish

Bowie with no sense of melody…O’ damnation I fear we ought to perish down here and you’re singing? What a curious beast is Man…Mario(excitedly): I’ve got another one!Esteban Rojas(no relation to Pablo): Not now, maybe later, eh?J. Henriquez: We are like our saviour Jesus Crisp! (J.H. has a speech impediment) Cheesy Crisp buried in the garden of Geffemany…yet on da turd day, aha! Da stone woz roll back an Marry his mummy an Marry his bird foun’ da tomb empty! Chesuz had risen! Risen in the flesh! Verily I tell thee my brummers, do not relinquish Hope! For we are but at the merciful hams of Gord!Alex Vega: You talk daft. Surely, it’s, “we are in the capable hands of God?”Jorge Galleguillos: Don’t shit a brick over it Martin Amis!Everyone: Oooooo! Hahaha! Good one!Manuel(returning from the tunnel) : I am gonna kill all of you!!!! Everyone!!!! And triple-ex yo mummaz!Richard Villarroel: Manuel! You’ve lost it! Remember Buddha! Remember this whole thing may be a Cosmic Hallucination. FOOL!Manuel (calming down, breathing noisily): Yeah! Coolio! Gangsters’ Paradise! Hip 2 da hop to da wheels of Steel! Jesus woz a rapper like Coolio’s da dapper! Da best a man can get!Carlos Barrios(gesturing like ‘2PAC’): Gillette! Shave that bit above the neck! (He quickly runs out of ideas, and stops…)Raul Bustos: Face! Cheeks! The head! Put it to bed! Picture the rest! The Pixies are the best! Surfer!Daniel Herrera: Rosa!Pablo Rojas: Pixies!Dario: I prefer mucho Nirvana.Daniel: Do you now? That is because you are still young.Osman Araya: Jesus died aged 33.Samuel Avalos: Kurt Cobain of Nirvana fame died aged 27. What’s your point!Carlos Bugueno: He’s pointing out the number of us miners trapped in the Big Brother Mine.Renan Avalos (no relation to Samuel): I dislike overly philosophical discussion and I am feel-ing a bit randy. I shall melt into a shadowy corner and indulge in some Quality Me Time.Pablo: Can I come with you?Renan: NO! (hesitates, thinks for second…) NO!Carlos: He is pointing out (points at Osman, then at everyone), the Number 33! It’s a magical number.Juan Aguilar: Why are there are no women down here?Pedro Cortez: Sshh! Interesting question. But not exactly relevant just here, he is getting to a good point me thinks.Carlos: I most certainly am mon Amigos! (he points emphatically at his forehead and keeps it there for as long as his speech) In my boyhood I attended Grammar School, I have read broadly and thereby formed an interest in the Freemasonic Brotherhood.Juan: Why isn’t it a Sisterhood?Pedro: Hush! ... cupcake of creation ...Carlos (continuing in the Subterranean twilight): The Star is the emblem of the Freemasons. This Star has 33 rays. And is a symbol prominently displayed on public monuments at the centre of cities around the world.Juan: What has that got to do with the price of fish?Carlos: We are now those rays!(dum dum dum dum…Eastenders theme tune kicks in.)THE END to be cont.....

FLACK food

Apple Dappy

4 Apples 280g Flour150g Butter100ml Double Cream280ml Water80g Brown Sugar2 tbsp Golden Syrup1 Lemon

Peel, core the apples and cut into cubes. To prevent the apples from browning squeeze half a lemon over the cubes and leave the lemon in as well.

Sift the !our in a bowl and place 100g butter, now rub the two together to make breadcrumbs.

Add the cream bit by bit and mix well so it makes a dough.

Place the dough on a !oured work top and roll into a rectangle shape.

Place the prepared apple cubes on the dough you have ready, now sprinkle some of the brown sugar on the apple.

Now roll the dough up like a swiss roll and place a on a baking tray.

Place the rest of the brown sugar, syrup, butter, and water in a pan.

Heat gently.

Once the mix has dissolved into a sauce use some of it to coat the dough and sprinkle a little more brown sugar on top.

Place the left over sauce place to one side for when your apple dappy is cooked.

Place your apple dappy in the oven at 180c/Gas 6 and cook for about 30 mins until golden brown.

Drizzle over the remainder sauce and serve.

Chef On The Move - Daniel Lopez

Ready Steady Ping

Yummy syrup dessert. 2 scones from ten of the Sainsbury’s 35p basics range.

3-4 dessert spoons of tinned custard, also in basics range.

1-2 dessert spoons of golden syrup. Heat in microwave until hot. Yummy.

Simon Flack

PRET LINGUINI (AFFORDABLE VERSION)

300 g any type of long pasta.Cray#sh and Salmon from the Pret sandwiches or salad boxes.1 tsp oil / large knob of butter1 medium onion1 tin of tomatoes2-3 cloves of garlic¼ tsp mustard1 tsp sugar¼ Pint of waterSqueeze of lemon juiceSalt & Pepper

Heat a large pan of slightly salted water until boiling, cook the pasta according to the directions on the packet – drain and set to one side.

In a large pan, add the oil and warm, add the chopped onions, garlic and mustard and fry gently for about 10 minutes until the onions are softened. Add the Pret #shy bits to the pan with the lemon juice and stir for about 5 mins, add the tomatoes and sugar and stir, add the water, stir thoroughly and leave to simmer for about 15minutes, then add the drained pasta and stir through until warm.

Serve with bread.

Emma Hyde

Thank you to all at Pret A Manger for their daily sharing of sandwiches etc with 222

Let me tell you about my accidental tour of the world’s red light districts. And when I say accidental I mean it. You couldn’t have planned it if you tried. I planned to visit my old friend Martin who was living in Koh Samui, a small island off the East coast of Thailand. I went to the travel agents and asked them to book me a !ight. My instructions to them were very simple. I don’t care who with, so long as the plane’s got wings.

Take off from Norwich airport and get a connecting !ight from Schiphol. Nice !ight from Norwich and arrived at Schiphol airport which is massive, it’s like a small city. All very confusing, but I have time for a cup of coffee, particularly nice as I shared a table with a very pretty KLM airhostess with whom I soon got chatting. In the course of our conversation she mentioned an hour between British summertime and Central European time. Panic. I grabbed the napkin with her phone number on it and ran like hell.

Too late. But I could catch the next !ight in 24 hours time. What to do? A cheap hotel. No problem, Amsterdam is only 5 minutes train ride. I found a hotel and checked in. As it was already evening, museums, art galleries and the like would be closed, I thought I’d check out the nightlife. A policeman directed me over a canal bridge and round the corner was the famous red light district. Now don’t get me wrong, I have no objection to that kind of thing on moral grounds, but this place was quite frankly a tacky tourist trap with nothing that Soho can’t do better. Knowing what I’m like if I have a drink or a smoke, I decide to avoid the famous coffee shops in case I end up doing something I might regret later. So back to the hotel for a mug of cocoa.

Next day I’m on the plane and on my way. My only worry is that my 24 hour delay means I have missed my connection at the next airport. Which is? You’ve guessed it. Bangkok. And it’s #reworks night in Thailand. I’ve never seen a #rework display from above before. At the airport I #nd I can get a !ight to the island, but I will have to wait in Bangkok for 24 hours. Well now that I am here I might as well have a look around and a beer or two. I get into a tuk tuk, a kind of 3 wheeled taxi and tell the driver I’m looking for some nightlife. Blimey, this place is like Disneyland for sex tourists. Lady boys, ping pong balls, you name it they’ve got it. All a bit too scary for me. I decide I better not drink or smoke anything here, I know what I’m like. So back to the hotel to see if they’ve got any cocoa.

Next day I’m on my !ight, just a short hop and I arrive at the only thatched airport I’ve ever seen. It’s tiny, just a collection of palm thatched framework buildings. I climb aboard a tuk tuk and say to the driver “English pub.” Five minutes later I am in a Thai bar run

by a retired lady from Kent. The barmaid produces a half bottle of Thai brandy. She then produces a large bottle of coca-cola and sternly tells me that I must not drink this stuff neat, it is just too strong and is famous for creeping up on tourists with disastrous consequences.

I take no notice and pour myself a good stiff drink. And very nice it is too. About half way down the glass I start to feel the effect and decide to pour in some coke. That’s better. I take my bottles outside and sit at the table where I can view the street life. The drink really kicks in and I’m feeling dizzy. I better take a walk. Trouble is my legs aren’t working very well. I head for the market stalls hoping I can get some food, eventually I get there. I go through the seeing double stage and am starting to feel really ill. I lean on a market stall and say “Hotel” to a Thai lady. She looks at me blankly. “Bed” “Sleep” The lady replies “Baht.” I cannot understand. “Baht.” Oh, Thai currency. I let her help herself. She helps me round her counter and guides me onto some rush matting below it. Asleep in no time.

I woke up feeling like death. This was no ordinary hangover. My tongue is too big for my mouth. A huge pair of pair of brown eyes peered into my face. She handed me a strange looking green drink. I gulped it down. Blimey, a miracle cure. I start to feel better immediately. I looked up to thank the young lady for the herbal drink and saw the most exquisite vision of loveliness. She was drop dead gorgeous. I showed her the name of my hotel and she nodded, her hands pressed together as if in prayer. Taking me by the hand she led me out into the street where she mounted a Honda moped and motioned me to get on. Life was starting to look good.

We parked outside the hotel and Miss brown eyes came in with me. The hotel clerk spoke perfect English and I was soon checked in. Brown eyes took me by the hand and led me upstairs and opened the bedroom door for me. I went in and dumped my rucksack on the !oor. Brown eyes proceeded to unpack my belongings and promptly disappeared with my dirty laundry. On her return (I was feeling a bit bold) I took brown eyes by the hand and took her to the hotel reception. Not only did I want advice on whether I should tip her, but I was also secretly hoping that I could ask her for a date.

I told the hotel clerk my predicament. They had a conversation in Thai. “ No sir you need not pay the young lady any money. “Sir may I ask where you met the young lady.” I explained that we met at the market. Another conversation in Thai ensured. “Sir, that is our red light district and you have already paid for the young lady for the whole week.”

An Innocent Abroad by Homeless Harry

Book Review

John Phelps is a local writer and former property journalist. ‘Agent From Hell’ is his debut novel - a mystery thriller. It may not be a masterpiece but it’s an easy read and thoroughly enjoyable. The chapters are concise so it’s great for people who are not avid readers. The story is based around a #ctional

town of Camford which we all, local to Cambridge, can relate to. It’s anything but boring and at times hard to put down as you achingly want to know what happens next.

Theo Salter, a mysterious estate agent, arrives in an East Anglian market town and becomes an instant local hero after he saves the life of a famous sportsman, protects a female estate agent from a thuggish rival, then shines in a cricket match. However, slowly his murky past catches up with him and his true colours begin to surface. Various undesirable characters from his past haunt him as do the police and a local journalist. Eventually it transpires that Theo Salter is not quite a knight in shining armour. Shady practices in property business, a past riddled with drugs, robbery and pimping start emerging. As things start to get out of control, Theo tries to !ee the law and tie up loose ends.

A great way to start the New Year and plunge into the world of reading. So, get yourself a copy – either from Heffers or from £3.69 online (amazon.co.uk).

Or like me borrow it from the FLACK office or your local library.

Robin Ahmed

Has England’s Homeless World Cup Captain vanished?

It's been a month of controversy surrounding the world of football, what with managers being sacked, players switching allegiance, or the massive #x over England's bid to host the World Cup, it's been tough for us footie fans.

It is with this in mind, I thought how nice it would be to have a look back at our successful homeless world cup campaign in Brazil this year, and what better way than, an interview with the captain, Musa Kamara who, as far as I know, is still living at the YMCA? I #rst met Musa when I awarded him Player of the Tommy McLafferty Tournament in May this year and have been looking forward to a proper footie chat ever since. Unfortunately, despite many e-mails and telephone calls to the YMCA, I have been unsuccessful in getting hold of anyone who can tell me me how to contact him.

Has Musa vanished and signed for one of the Milan C l u b s ? O r, i s i t s i m p l y t h e b re a k d ow n o f communication between staff and residents within the hostel sector? Let's face it the YMCA wouldn't be the worst culprits when it comes to failing to pass messages on.

Either way, I would still love a chat with Musa to #nd out about the highs and lows of his Homeless World Cup campaign, and of course to ask the most important question Arsenal or Chelsea?

So, YMCA staff, residents, I beg you, please, could you ask Musa to contact me at FLACK. Here's hoping.

Emma Hyde

The i - Newspaper review"It's a bitter cold morning when a dazed stag is forced to bag a larger beast". Hawk-eyed as ever our editorial group asked the leading question 'Are we gripped over Britain's newest well funded newspaper.? The i hit the autumn streets without charge for 7 days with future editions priced at a whooping discount of £0.20p when making a comparable choice against other well bred newspapers. It's certainly jam packed with glitz, but is it too tight for a satisfying read? We asked an individual on the Cambridge electoral register to test drive the thing and as expected he dutifully reported

back. “It's got some lively colour spreads but the advertisements in yellow look decidedly geared to empty your pockets.” Has the Cambridge fellow gone stir crazy? We asked for some more detail so the eagle eyed resident made another comment in strictest secrecy "There's a story about a Sheikh with taste meeting Her Majesty and another one about the hunter becoming hunted and page three has been replaced with a handsome advert about broadband not to be beaten on the price." Let's hope the reader's positivity isn't downbeat by a seemingly long wait for articles with genuine answers. Surely the money is better invested locally where it counts was the last bitter comment from the person wishing to remain anonymous.

What's your opinion - is this newspaper a bargain?

ACROSS1. ______ Home Exhibition (5)2. Rhymes with plot, get it down! (3)3. Just short of theatre but really hot (4)4. Bird “cheeps” Man has better words. (6)8. Meant to attract (singular) (7)11. Dirty washing winds up here eventually (7)14. Chinese Film Director John ___ (3)17. ‘___ and simple’. Lightning Seeds song (4)19. Yang’s drinking partner (3)20. Biro (3)21. Cubic centimetres (2)22. Coca Cola, still the _____ and best (8)23. Posh word for what is essentially a moose (3)26. Winslet, Moss and Bush (4)

compiled by CERSOBLEPTIKFLACK CROSSWORD # 5

DOWN2. Beatle. 1940 - 1980.4. Extra special kind of ovation (7)5. Some people ___ to live, other people live to ___ (3)6. A closed electric circuit (4)7. I feel the need, the need for ____ !(5)9. Adolescent evil - you can spot it a mile off !(3)10. A group referring to itself will call itself this (2)12. __ Who. (2)13. All you need, according to 2 Down. (4)15. _____DABBA DOO! (5)16. Flavour of Victoria Beckham's singing partners. (5)18. _______ Man - Elton John (6)24.1968 #lm, directed by LIndsay Anderson (2)25. New Jersey number plate code (2)

Did our last crossword make you cross?We are so sorry! (especially to you, James) we numbered a couple of clues wrongly.We promise we have triple checked this month’s crossword and here are the answers to December’s just in case you haven’t thrown it in the bin!

FLACK Cambridge #1

a door to nowhere

WHERE? WHY? HOW?

This is a new series exposing the unusual, the bizarre, the amusing and the downright weird things to be found on the streets of Cambridge.

All your answers will receive a FLACK Badge (Wow!) and let us know your ideas for future strange places.

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Useful Telephone NumbersAccess Surgery : 01223 358961 Addaction (Alcohol): 01223 723069Addaction (Drugs) : 01223 723020Addenbrookes Hospital : 01223 245151Cambridge Link-Up (Emma) : 07527 646045Camdoc (out-of-hours) : 01223 464242Centre 33 : 01223 316488Crisis Loan : 0800 1695198

DWP : 0845 6043719 FLACK (Office) : 01223 366532Jimmy’s Nightshelter : 01223 576085 Police: 0345 456 456 4 Willow Walk Hostel : 01223 519400Wintercomfort : 01223 518140 222 Victoria Rd Hostel : 01223 352718Boots Late Night Chemist: 01223 357487any others we should include? let us know ...

FLACK #5

Documents

Transcript of FLACK #5