Do It self Dicipline

Do it Your Self-Discipline!

Copyright http://www.builddiscipline.com 2013 All Rights Reserved. Page 2

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Nothing in this eBook is intended to replace common sense, legal, medical or other

professional advice, and is meant to inform the reader.

But most of all Have fun with the 'Do it Your Self-Discipline' eBook!

Copyright 2013 Seph Fontane Pennock. All rights reserved worldwide.



Contents

Foreword .................................................................................................................... 4

Technique Nr. 1: Routines and Rituals ...................................................................... 4

Technique Nr. 2: Using Cognitive Dissonance ......................................................... 8

Technique Nr. 3: Eliminating Distractions ..............................................................10

Technique Nr. 4: Using Peer Pressure .....................................................................12

Technique Nr. 5: Reward and Punishment ..............................................................15

Technique Nr. 6: Your Future Self ..........................................................................18

Technique Nr. 7: Visual Reminders.........................................................................21

Technique Nr. 8: Find your Weaknesses .................................................................25

Technique Nr. 9: Patience and Persistence ..............................................................28

Technique Nr. 10: Find Friendly Competition ........................................................32



Foreword

Hi there!

First of all, I'd like to

thank you for taking an

interest in my eBook.

It shows that you take

your own development

seriously and that you're

willing to learn more

about self-discipline. I

admire that greatly!

My name is Seph, I'm 23 years old and I'm from the Netherlands. For

the last four years, I've been specializing in self-development, with a

main focus on self-discipline. Since October 2011 I've started my own

self-development blog: BuildDiscipline.com.

Well, let's get started!

This eBook features the first 10 self-discipline techniques that I've

covered on my blog, put together into one nice printable eBook for you

to read. After reading the materials covered in this book, it will be all

up to you to go out and apply the things you've learned in your life.

I'd love to engage in conversation with you via the comments on my

blog, since I'd like my blog to be as interactive as possible.

In case you have any questions, recommendations, found spelling

mistakes, or need help with anything, just let me know!

Twitter: @Build_Disciplin

Facebook: Build Discipline

Email: [email protected]



Technique Nr. 1: Routines and Rituals

What is a ritual?

The one important thing you should know about building self-

discipline is that it takes willpower to do anything that is

not yet a routine or ritual.

Building self-discipline is therefore not only about finding

ways to make yourself do what

you are supposed to do, but about lowering the threshold to perform certain activities. For instance, brushing your teeth has become a

ritual for you. It doesnt take you a lot of effort nor willpower to perform this activity, lets say twice a day. The reason for this is obvious; you have been doing this your whole life, so you dont need to think about it anymore.

If you need to build another routine later

in your life, wearing your contact lenses

for example, or taking them out, you can easily create a new routine by coupling it

to your old routine (brushing your teeth).

Case Study: Mike is a boy of 16 years

old and likes to play the keyboard. No

matter how much he likes it, he cant get himself to practice regularly. He takes his

keyboard out of his closet at times and plays the same familiar plays a

couple of times which he enjoys. However, his music teacher has already acknowledged his ability to play these old plays and has given

him more difficult ones. During the keyboard lessons, Mike feels guilty

because he hasnt practiced these new plays enough. During the lesson, he tells himself over and over again that he will practice the

new plays this week. "I really will do it this week!" This week however,

like all the others before, he fails to practice.

How can we lower the threshold to practicing the new plays in this

example? Well, the first thing would be to install the keyboard in a

"The secret of your

future is hidden in your daily routine." -Mike Murdock



more accessible place, like the living room or in his own room. The

living room would probably be the best option because he would feel

the social control of his parents and will be more likely to want to impress them by playing well.

Anyway, to get the keyboard out of the closet would be an action

that demands self-discipline

already. In order to maximize the chance of success, we will

eliminate as many of these steps

as possible that require self-discipline. Therefore, the music

sheets will need to be right in

front of him as soon as Mike stands in front of the keyboard.

This will prevent Mike from playing

the old familiar plays he knows by heart and would remind him to

practice the new plays.

After doing this, it will be a good idea for Mike to couple (or replace)

playing the keyboard to an already existing routine. Mike always

watches TV in the morning right after his breakfast before he goes to school. In this case, it would be a good idea for Mike to start playing

the keyboard right after his breakfast and before going to school.

Doing this will help him replace an old and useless routine with a new routine which will help Mike to perform better and feel better about

himself.



To sum up:

Step 1: Define the new routine or ritual that you want.

Step 2: Lower the threshold to perform the new routine by having the

materials you need for this activity close to you, or at least in sight. (e.g. If you want to go running more often, simply try putting on your

running shoes in the morning)

Step 3: Couple or replace the new routine with an already existing

one.

These three simple steps will have an amazing impact on your

performance without the need to increase your self-discipline. You can

do the exact same thing for negative habits as well. In that case, its just a matter of increasing the threshold. Now we will get into more

useful techniques for boosting your self-discipline!

What are your experiences regarding this technique?

Join the conversation by clicking here!



Technique Nr. 2: Using Cognitive Dissonance

What we often do is to

deceive ourselves into believing what we are

doing is important so

that we can pursue what is fun, while

gaining a feeling of

relevance. This is a

form of cognitive

dissonance reduction

that goes on inside ours heads, that is

meant to create

consistency between our actions and our beliefs. There is a sense in which you can say that you are fooling yourself. However, if we

wouldn't not fool yourself dozens of times a day, we would most likely

go mad.

Our actions continuously conflict with our beliefs. The conflicting

beliefs and actions create feelings of discomfort, which is what it is meant by the term 'cognitive dissonance'.

Cognitive dissonance reduction is the elimination of a previously held belief, or ceasing to perform a certain action, to create consistency in

your own perception again.

Considering this piece of information, the following self-discipline

technique can be very valuable to you. Think of all the things that you

are doing in your daily life that do not

bring you any closer to the goals you

have.

These things can be very simple such as:

surfing the internet, watching television or

going for a coffee with friends. Even in your work place, you might find yourself

doing this by: chatting with colleagues, reading the news or checking

your email every 30 minutes.

"I will procrastinate

tomorrow"



How often are you telling yourself that these things are relevant, while

they are actually preventing you from doing the work you really need or want to do? Keep the score for just one day and youll be amazed to find the great amount of actions of which you tell yourself that are

relevant, while theyre actually not.

Self-Discipline Exercise: Ask yourself: Is it really necessary that I

perform this activity at this particular moment? Will doing so bring me any closer to reaching the goals that I have set?

If youre not working on any goal at that moment, any activity is justified. However, if you do have a certain goal for your day, or at work, ask yourself the questions mentioned above.

Please tell me about your experiences!




Technique Nr. 3: Eliminating Distractions

Eliminate all the things that

distract you from doing what you are supposed to be doing. Several

common types of distractions are

such as the TV (turn it off!), your cell phone, email, other social

media (Twitter, Facebook, etc.)

and going for a cup of coffee. The

same goes for smoking, in case

youre a smoker. Please note that this self-discipline technique is not about NOT doing certain

things but it is about not doing

them at particular times.

You cant get in a state of flow, as psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls it, with your cell phone ringing all the time, or emails popping up continuously. Ideally, what you want to do is to

have a couple of fixed moments each day during which you deal with

your email, text-messages and so on.

I mean isnt it ridiculous to be interrupted from your activity every time someone else wants to tell/ask you something, whether its important or unimportant? It is, right?

Thats why I have developed a simple rule to deal with all sorts of media that an individual has to deal with in the 21st

century. I eliminate distractions by

dealing with all email, cell phone and

social media activities on fixed moments

during the day.

This allows me to keep my focus on the

right activities, to experience flow in

performing these activities and to live more mindfully throughout the day, by

not being distracted every 5 minutes or so. Try this for just one day. If

it doesnt work for you; money back guaranteed!

"Concentrate all your

thoughts upon the work at hand. The

suns rays do not burn until brought to a

focus"

-Alexander Graham Bell



Another thing I do if I really want to get in the flow state is to just be

mindful or meditate for a couple of minutes. I find that even doing nothing and thinking about nothing for 5 minutes can completely free

my mind. It stops me from thinking about everything I need to do and

allows me to get in touch with the present moment. So what I am really trying to say is that the distractions do not solely come from

physical things or people in your environment. They can actually come

from yourself, out of your own head as well. Clear your mind from these distractions by meditating for a brief period before starting with

what needs to be done. It will allow you to keep your focus.

Also, try not to go for a cup of coffee or for a smoke every 30 minutes. You dont need this in order to perform, and besides, it is not healthy. Drink sufficient water instead. As soon as you manage to make a

routine out of eliminating distractions, you will start feeling more and more focused and get more work done in less time. As Lao Tzu said in

the Tao te Ching:

I'm excited to hear what you think about this technique.


If I have even just a little sense, I will walk on the main road and my only fear will be of straying from it. Keeping to the main road is easy, but people love to be side tracked. -Lao Tzu



Technique Nr. 4: Using Peer Pressure

To ensure that you

stick to your plans about the new habit

you want, try using

peer pressure to your advantage by making a

public commitment and

youll realise that theres no turning back! Yes, thats right. Post it on your Facebook page, tweet it to the world,

send all your contacts

an email, and tell your plans to everyone you speak in real life. You dont want other people to see how inconsistent or weak you aredo you? That is exactly why this technique works. This self-discipline

technique does not consist of the most positive sort of motivation, but it certainly belongs to the most effective ones.

An excellent example to illustrate this Technique would be those people who want to quit smoking. Now, Ive never been much of a smoker myself, but I do know lots of them and I have seen their

attempts at quitting smoking fail more times than I can recall. In fact, if I had a dollar for every time Ive witnessed a failed attempt at quitting smoking, Id probably be writing this from the sunny climes of the French Riviera. However, the few successful

attempts that Ive witnessed all included the element of 'public commitment',

which triggered group pressure or social

pressure in turn.

Thats right. All of those smokers told everyone around them about their plans

of becoming a non-smoker and thereby committing themselves into it publicly.

The only thing exceptional about successful people is

their ability to do the work.



Now, were not going to discuss how you can quit smoking here but were going to look at the force behind these commitments and why they work so well. The force behind this technique is peer pressure. We dont care that much about looking bad to ourselves but when it comes to other people, we want to make a good impression, be

consistent and NEVER ever fail. You dont have to fight these feelings of public pressure, its just human nature. Its an evolutionary thing. Simply try to make this human trait work to your advantage!

I found out that the folks from peer-pressure.com have designed a

system that allows you to achieve maximum results using this peer

pressure principle with the help of an iPhone app. There certainly is an app for everything these days.

You can also join an online forum of people who are working on creating the same habit as you. Whether its going for a jog every day, eating healthy, training your public speaking or quitting smoking;

there is a forum for this. Simply join an online or offline community and surround yourself with people who are struggling with the same

exact issues as you are. These people will mostly be very supportive,

give you all sorts of advice and provide the moral support that you need.

Obviously, the more you care about what other people think of you, the better this technique will work for you. Research has been done to

back this principle up and it has proven to have a significant effect on

women who wanted to lose weight. (U. Nyer & Dellande, 2009) This study shows that the public commitment principle is effective

especially when the commitment is long-term. People who care more

about the opinions of other people or even have genuine fear of social disapproval will benefit the most from this principle. Those who don't

really care about what others think of them, will unfortunately benefit

less from this principle.

What is often neglected, but in my opinion is one of the most

important steps in creating a new habit, or quitting a negative one is to identify and eliminate the situations in which you are most likely to

fall back into your old patterns of behaviour. This hasnt got much to do with publicly committing yourself but is simply of major importance for building that new habit you want. When are you most likely to light



that cigarette again? What are the moments when you just cant resist that big good ol burger? Think about these situations and try to avoid them as much as possible.

If you want to reduce your alcohol consumption, dont enter a bar! If you drive past a fast-food joint that you cant resist on your way back home, just take a detour! If some of your colleagues are going for a

smoke every hour, dont go with them. Socialize with other colleagues instead, or just continue working and dont allow yourself to get into a situation in which you know you will succumb into temptation.

To sum up:

Step 1: Make a public commitment about your new habit

Step 2: Allow yourself to experience the social pressure

Step 3: Join a community of people that are in the same spot as you, online or offline

Step 4: Identify and eliminate situations in which you are most likely to fall back into your old habits.

Your opinion matters as much as anybody else's. Join the conversation by clicking here!



Technique Nr. 5: Reward and Punishment

Feedback is very important in

life. Because the human self-

reflection capacity is generally very limited, we need feedback

from others all the time, in every area of our lives. We

need our boss or peers to tell us

which traits we need to change in our professional life. We need

our significant other to tell us

that we are either over-caring, or not caring enough.

If youve ever played a team sport, you have probably gotten lots of feedback from your team members as well, which is good. Feedback helps us see things that we could have never discovered by ourselves.

But the thing is here; if you are setting your own goals and no one

else is there to provide you with some useful feedback, how do we make sure that we dont fall into the traps that our lack of self-reflection causes?

This can be done by developing a system in which you get the most

objective and direct feedback out there. You get this feedback from

seeing whether youve achieved the goals that youve set for yourself. Let me illustrate this technique with an example. Lets say you want to go for a jog three times a week,

for at least 30 minutes per run. You can either write this down, or

enter it into your digital system or

whatever system you use to ensure you stay on track. For

instance, I always put a check-

mark behind my goals or activities when Ive fulfilled them and a cross if I didnt. By doing this, I can easily add up all the check-marks and tell whether Im on track at the end of the week.

"It matters not how strait the

gate,

How charged with

punishments the scroll.

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul."

-W.E. Henley



Pillars of this Self-Discipline Technique:

Research that has been done in the field of operant conditioning shows

us there are a couple of important elements when it comes to learning a new behaviour:

Step 1: We need positive reinforcement (i.e. rewards) for positive behaviours and bad behaviours must be punished.

Step 2: The sooner the feedback follows the activity, the more effective it is. Make the reward immediate!

So for your daily or weekly goals, make sure there is a reward or

punishment coupled to them. The reward doesnt have to be that exuberant and the punishment doesnt have to be too severe. Just make sure that they are appropriate and dont go against the goals youre trying to reach. For instance, if youve managed to stay clear from alcohol for a week, obviously, dont reward yourself with a beer. The same goes for dieting. Make sure the reward or punishment is not

directly food related because this might throw your diet off balance. Buy yourself a new pair of jeans instead of a chocolate fudge brownie.

In short:

Step 3: Make sure the reward (or punishment) is appropriate

Lets stick to the example of jogging three times a week. Youve set your weekly goals on Sunday evening. (This is what I usually do) Now if youve managed to go for a jog on Monday morning right away, youre off to a good start. As soon as you enter your room after the jog, make sure you put a check-mark behind your daily goal or weekly goal. This depends on how youve organized your goal setting system of course. Having this check-mark on the paper is a reinforcing activity

in and of itself. It is very rewarding and stimulating and some people dont even need a reward besides their own check-mark.

An example of a reward in this case can be that you allow yourself to watch your favourite show for an hour with some nice food and a can

of Coke. Other examples include: taking a nice hot bath, going out for

ice-cream with friends (without feelings of guilt!), going out for dinner with your spouse or doing exactly what you want to do for the rest of

the day. Remember, dont exaggerate!



If you decide that it is more useful in your scenario to punish yourself,

make sure youre not too hard on yourself. This might evoke negative feelings towards your goal, which can make you give up your goal altogether. As for me, rewards work better than punishments but it all

depends upon the situation.

To sum up:

The next time you achieve your goal (or sub-goal), have a check-mark

behind the goal, reward or punish yourself immediately and appropriately.

If you had to remember only one thing from this article, remember the

check-marks behind the goals that you wrote down. Its a really powerful stuff.

I'm excited to hear what you think! Join the conversation by clicking here!



Technique Nr. 6: Your Future Self

I once had a dream, about

a man. This man was no ordinary man; he was a

highly successful man. I

remembered everything about him. He had a green

shirt, he looked like he

was in an amazing

physical shape and was

well-groomed.

I still remember the food and drinks that were in his fridge, what his

house by the lakeside looked like and his driveway, everything. This

man invited me to walk down the street with him, which I did. He started telling me all kinds of things that he had learned throughout

his life. They were insights that had changed him forever and

important life experiences. It was so vivid.

Then, all of a sudden, I woke up. I didnt want to wake up though. I wanted to stay in this dream forever, learn from this amazing man and be a part of his compelling bigger than life lifestyle. Ive never felt like this before. It was too good. I had to wake up, as it always happens

when something is too good to be true. Whether its in a dream or in real life, you will eventually wake up. I was wondering all day long who

this man was and why I had gotten this vision. Why was he telling me

all these things? What was my unconscious trying to get me to understand? I finally got it at the end of the day: This man is the

future me, just waiting for me to become him.

Its been a while since Ive had this vivid, almost lucid, dream. My levels of motivation and inspiration havent been the same ever since. It feels like its completely clear for me what to do: I want to become this man. I want to become this caring, loving, compassionate, self-

employed, rich, well-groomed, strong, compelling man. With a green

shirt, mind you! There are NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) techniques out there that attempt to do exactly the same thing as this

dream has done for me. Some of them use (self-) hypnosis and others

focus more on visualization. I highly recommend that you give it a try



and see if you can make visualization for yourself that is as epic as

mine was for me. Perhaps, youve already experienced something like this before.

In case youre new to NLP, this product might be the best way to start and learn about NLP. There is one exercise that I clearly remember. It was an exercise from Christopher Howards NLP tapes, awesome stuff which I highly recommend. Ill describe the exercise as I remember it below and add my own advice based on my own experiences.

Step 1: Make sure you are not interrupted during this exercise. Turn

off everything that can make an unexpected sound and in case you are living with other people, tell them not to disturb you.

Step 2: First, lie down and relax. If you have any troubling thoughts that are clouding your mind, write them down first, so you can forget

about them during this exercise.

Step 3: Just lay still for a couple of minutes. Try not to move at all.

Step 4: Imagine youre on a beach. You can hear the sound of the waves washing ashore. You can play this video during the exercise.

Step 5: Start writing numbers in the sand and let them get washed away by the waves. You can start with the number 300, then 299, so

on and so forth. Obviously, you dont have to go all the way to 0, just count down until number 250.

Step 6: Then all of a sudden, you will find yourself at the top of a

staircase in a lighthouse. As you walk down this staircase, allow yourself to relax more and more with every step you take. Drift off.

Step 7: At the bottom of the staircase, there is a door that leads towards a bedroom with a really nice and comfortable bed with white

sheets. Lay down on this bed. Go to sleep.

Step 8: You are now in a dream, inside a daydream. (Inception!) In

this dream, imagine what you want your future self to look like. Try to

see everything, every tiny detail of your future life. What do you look like? What kind of clothes are you wearing? What does the house look



like that youre living in? This is your chance to design the life you want! Its like you are playing the computer game The Sims, but infinitely better. Visualize yourself. Visualize the people around you; your wife, kids and friends.

Step 9: Make your future self talk to you. Your future self is asking you: "At the end of your life, do you want to be defined by the things

that you could have been? Do you want to become me? You know

what it takes!"

Try this exercise for yourself! Turn on some meditation/ relaxation/

lounge music on a low volume. Make sure it is instrumental music, listening and trying to understand lyrics is a cognitive activity that you

will want to avoid during this exercise.

In case you have a hard time visualizing your ideal future, try visiting

a person that is a big inspiration to you. Or in case this person is

famous, watch an interview of this person or other video material. Read biographies. See what their lives are like! Most people already

have an idea about what they want their ideal future to look like. They

(day) dream about it all the time. But theres a big difference between dreaming and visualizing!

When you are fully conscious and

awake, make your

own Personal Mission Statement.

Why do you want to

become the future self you have

visualized? What is your biggest motivation for becoming him or her?

Use words that express the true underlying value of that which you want to achieve, and the person you will become!

What is your take on all this? Join the conversation by clicking here!

Your life will be what you create it as and no

one will stand in judgment of it, now or ever

-Rhonda Byrne



Technique Nr. 7: Visual Reminders

Do you remember the last time

you were extremely motivated

to take action? You felt like you could take on the whole world

out of a sudden and nothing could stop you. Whether it was

for your work, personal studies,

your body or whatever, what was the last time? Do you

remember what triggered this

peak in your motivation level?

In my life, motivational peaks

like these happen on a regular basis. They were mostly

triggered by movies, documentaries, books and more often than not:

Music!

Songs can be so extremely uplifting and inspiring, it's amazing. Yet, if

you were to hear the same words without the music, they wouldn't mean as much to you. Interesting self-help books are a common

source of short-term motivation as well. They can fuel your motivation

level immensely...for about a week. After this week, you might lose your motivation again and are back at where you started, except for

the fact that you have actually got some work done.

When motivation disappears, the need for

self-discipline appears again. You need to

discipline yourself to take action because there isn't any higher inspirational source

in your life guiding your every action.

That's why those who are intrinsically motivated or inspired to write a book for

example will hardly need any self-

discipline. They will get up in the morning and immediately get started with their

work.

"For the existentialist

it is clear, that to live,

is to live passionately"

-Sren Kierkegaard

Sren Kierkegaard -

Wikipedia, the free

encyclopedia



The question is how we can really trigger this mindset in ourselves.

How can we stay motivated for a longer period of time? Well, have you

ever wondered why the walls in the CEOs office are covered with great quotes? This is because it reminds you of the things that are really

important in life, your vision and your values. The following quote for

instance:

Now, this is an example of a quote that really gets people going. It

assures you that you can and will make a difference if you completely

commit yourself to a certain task with people around you.

I once saw a poster of Forrest Gump on the wall of a manager. This

means that this manager probably likes the idea of completely committing yourself to goals that might seem out of reach at first, but

by pushing through with an almost autistic persistence against all

odds, one is destined to reach the desired destination. Or he simply just liked the movie of course...

The self-discipline technique that you can take home from these examples is that you need to visually remind yourself of your vision,

goals and values, every day.

Make a mind map of the people/quotes etc. that motivates you the

most in your life. Perhaps, there is this one person in your life who you

really admire and who is a huge inspiration to you. If you were to

wake up in the morning and stare right in the face of this person (a

picture of your nightstand), would you still hit the snooze button and stay in bed for another 10 minutes? Or would you jump out of bed,

take a cold shower and start working on your most important tasks

right away?

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."

-Margaret Meade



The tiny changes in your environment can have a tremendous effect

on the choices you make during the course of the day. That is exactly

what it is all about! As they teach alcoholics during AA meetings: it is

not about not drinking ever again, it

is simply about not drinking today. Tell yourself in the morning: I'm not going to drink today. I mean, that is an achievable goal right? It is attainable. While not having a drink

for the rest of your life sounds

almost impossible, this goal is doable for most alcoholics.

These visual reminders will keep you focused today and you will excel

in whatever you do today. You will feel so motivated that you will work for 12 hours straight and look at your watch laughing, knowing that

you could easily continue for another 2 hours.

This strategy helps you visualize your goals every time you take a look

at that picture, or listen to that song. You will eventually find that it

becomes even more powerful, because your brain associates this input with the values that you hold highest in your life and triggers

immediate action.

This tactic can be used for all sorts of goals. Whether it is a physical

goal, a financial goal or simply work that you need to get done, you

can get it to work for you. So make sure this visual reminder is out there. Don't just carry around a small picture of your mentor in your

wallet. Make it available, or better yet, make it inescapable! Make sure

it's there when you wake up in the morning and make sure it is there, perfectly available during your work.

You can also choose to make a sort of motivational poster for yourself, on which you combine all your sources of inspiration. See what works

best for you. As soon as you find that the visual reminder has lost its

power, change it to a new one.

"Imagination is everything,

it is the preview of lifes

coming attractions"

-Einstein



To sum up:

Step 1: Install at least 1 visual reminder in your home, preferably in your bedroom

Step 2: Make sure you feel extremely motivated every time you look at this picture, change if this isn't the case. The relationship between

the material and your goals must be abundantly clear.

Step 3: Do it now or you are not going to do it otherwise. Just print

out that picture or the lyrics you love and the quote that always keeps

you going!

What is your visual trigger going to be?




Technique Nr. 8: Find your Weaknesses

We have already started

addressing this issue in

technique Nr. 4. I ended by saying, Identify and eliminate situations in which you are

most likely to fall back into your old habits. During the course of this strategy we are going to

look at the best ways of doing

this.

Lets start by defining what a weakness is. Id like to call a weakness a moment when you

want to do something, or want to abstain yourself from doing something and you give in to your urges and act in a way that

contrary to what you wanted.

So an example of a weakness can be to eat fast-food, while your goal

was to not eat fast-food for two months. This is an example of giving

in to your temptations by doing something. An example of giving in to your temptations by not doing something is watching TV instead of

going to the gym.

So according to this definition, there

are two kinds of weaknesses:

Weakness Type 1: Giving in to

your temptations by doing something

Weakness type 2: Giving in to your

temptations by neglecting to do

something

Depending upon the goal or challenge you have set for yourself (or maybe your GP has set for you), you have to find out which of these

two types of weaknesses is applicable in your situation.

"Our primary problem isnt that were weak; its that were blind"

-www.changeanything.com



Examples of Weakness Type 1:

-eating fast food

-smoking -drinking

-doing drugs

Examples of Weakness Type 2:

-not finishing your work of time

-not going to the gym -not being attentive to the persons around you

-not visiting your parents-in-law (Thank god mine are awesome)

Dealing with these Weakness Types

By not doing something seems easier than doing something in the

beginning. Doing something implies action; not doing something implies sitting down on your butt, right?

Wrong! As soon as it has come to the point of an addiction, or a habit, it is really hard to get rid of this. The problem isnt only that we are weak and blind, but that we are now controlled by forces that we cant even see! Our mind is playing dirty, dirty tricks on us to get its fix. From my own experience, I can confidently say that it is harder to get

rid of an existing habit, than to create a new one. Think about

examples from your own life. Now define your biggest weakness. (One that you would like to get rid of)

After finding our weakness type and defining our weakness, we have to look for the moments where were most likely to give in to our weakness. During these moments, you are at your weakest. In your

head, youre probably going to make things up and tell yourself that its alright to have that smoke this time. Because tomorrow, you are really going to start thisright? No. Moments like these are happening every day in your life, even though you might not be aware of it. In fact, most of these temptations are unconscious. Most of our

behaviour in unconscious (scientists estimate 95%), so are our

temptations.

What is really important is to become aware of these urges. When do

they strike? Try making a little note every time you discover one of



these temptations. Is it in the morning? When you are under stress? Is

it only when you are alone? Discover the patterns.

So we know by now what weakness type we are dealing with. We have

defined the weakness and we know when to give in to our weakness

and are most likely to occur. Lets find out what the last step is. Be prepared when the temptations strike! These temptations are like

Steven Kings Langoliers, slowly, but most definitely consuming the whole world. Make sure you keep moving forward, and dont become a part of, or long for, the past. The Langoliers love consuming the past.

So what is the exact thing that you will do when they come? For smokers (or weakness type 1s) , this might involve grabbing something else they can fidget with and hold in their hands, or even

put in their mouth. For example, a smoker can grab a toothpick every time he feels the Langoliers coming. He then puts it in his mouth,

takes it out of his mouth and puts it in an ashtray.

For a type 2 weakness, you can prepare yourself by thinking of an

automatic response as soon as you hear the gnawing sound of the

Langoliers. By automatic response to my Im-so-not-going-for-a-run-today weakness is to instantly, as fast as I can, put on my running

outfit. Then, I know for sure that I will go for a run. Whether it is at

that exact moment or 30 minutes later, it is bound to happen.

To sum up:

Step 1: Find your weakness type

Step 2: Define your weakness

Step 3: Identify the moments when the urges are most likely to occur

Step 4: Prepare for these moments by having an automatic response

to them

What's your biggest weakness?




Technique Nr. 9: Patience and Persistence

Wake up! If you have a

40k credit card debt, you will not be able to repay it

all in a matter of weeks or

months. If you are 20 pounds overweight, you

will not be as slim as that

woman on the cover of

Vogue magazine within a

year. Tell-sell programs,

magazines and other media present us with the

idea that there is a quick-fix to our every problem. Get-Rich-Quick

schemes or Lose-Weight-Quick schemes are weapons of the modern marketers propaganda. This all reminds us once again that:

We need to realize that which we hate

to hear: people who are successful in

any area are not there merely because of their talent but because of their

uncommon dedication to their goals. A

dedication so profound, that it will make the average-TV-watching Joe

want to throw up. There are still

people who like to think that these performers are there at the top, because they were born with a special talent. Well, thats an easy thing to say. With one sentence, it completely wipes away all the

thousands of hours a person may have invested to get there.

I get it; it is comfortable to think of it this way. It is yet another form

of cognitive dissonance reduction, a way of letting everything make sense in his own head, so he doesnt have to worry about it.

"There are no shortcuts

to any place worth going."

-Beverly Sills



Long-term Goals

However, the stone cold truth makes way more sense. To lose weight,

you have to commit yourself to a diet that is based upon your long-term goals and short-term persistence. As said before, you only have

to be a vegetarian today, if you want to be one for the rest of your life.

Just make it through the day, worry about the next day tomorrow.

Dont expect to see results after 6 days but just be proud that youre six days in already and know that the results will come. Weight loss serves as a perfect example for this. Heres a question for people on a diet: Do you want to lose weight temporarily, or is there a certain ideal

weight for you that youd like to have for long-term? In case you want to lose weight temporarily, sure, go on a diet. If you want to achieve

your target weight and hold it for the rest of your life, you will have to

change your patterns, habits and rituals.

Doing so requires patience and persistence but aside from the fact that

you will achieve the lasting results you want, it will strengthen your personality as well. Disciplining yourself is counter natural, for we are

pleasure-seeking creatures. And time and time again:

Patience For me, patience doesnt come natural, at all. Ive always been the person that instantly goes to the back of the book to look up the

answers. Cheatplanet.com was probably the website I visited most as a kid. I just didnt have any patience. Now, I find it hard to tell anyone how to get more patient. For me, it just came with time. The older I

got, the more patient I became.

Besides looking up cheats on the internet for the games I was playing,

I have always loved statistics. As soon as I had the chance to look up

"Our best intentions can be hurt by the human need for instant

gratification or relief from boredom"

-Susan van Kirk



statistics of my performance in game, I would. Having played

MMORPGs (Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games) and FPSs (First Person Shooters), I was obsessed with terms like kill/death ratios, hit%, experience points, the whole horror show.

Perhaps, this was one of the reasons that I was very impatient as a kid. I was so used to instantly look up walk-through's or cheats on the

internet to do better at the games I was playing. Yet in real life, there

are no answers at the back of the book. My parents or teachers couldnt give me the answers that I was looking for eitherwhat was I to do? So I grabbed my controller and was back online.

Now, what has all of this got to do with being patient, or what is the take-away that we can extract from this story? The take-away is as

follows: Create cheats and stats in your life! Cheats and Stats

A cheat can be anything youve heard or read about, tried out in your own life with success multiple times and would like to keep on doing. For me, a cheat is to not argue with people any longer. Why? This is because it almost never makes any sense. Think about it. One person

is completely convinced of his point of view, another person is completely convinced of another point of view. They both try to impose

their point of view upon each other while the tension rises and the

discussion becomes more and more absurd. (Note that there are exceptions here)

I read about this tactic at first, tried it out in my own life and found that it works great. It was because I have to stay conscious about not

getting involved into an argument, I wrote it down as a cheat. (Some people call it a 'life hack')

The same thing goes for statistics. Just create your own statistics by

tracking your progress. Whatever goals you are working on, write down the steps you need to take to get there, divide those into smaller

steps and make a note whenever you have achieved or completed one

of these steps. Make the steps so small that you can make a note of your achievement every day. It will be extremely motivating.



Are you patient? Are you persistent? Join the conversation by clicking here!

"Nothing better fuels high quality work and productivity, or

makes us feel more satisfied than deeply immersing ourselves in

a task. But really focusing requires resisting the instant

gratification of other distraction, and that takes effort."

Tony Schwartz



Technique Nr. 10: Find Friendly Competition

Have you ever noticed

how much easier it is to stick to your goals if you

have a partner with

similar goals? Whether it comes to going to the

gym, losing weight or

maybe you remember

doing homework with a

friend, it is easier when

youre in it together.

Why is it easier to stick

to your goals with a buddy? You will be more likely to stick to your goals if they are shared

with another person because you have to answer to them as well as to

yourself. Because of the commitment you made, you cant just say I dont feel like doing this today, because the other person is there waiting for you, and youre not going to stand him up. Furthermore, you dont want to be seen as a weak person, especially if your buddy does have enough willpower or self-discipline to do whatever you

agreed on doing.

A buddy of mine and I had a routine where we would go for runs on

every Tuesday afternoon. We did this for

almost a year, with maybe a couple of weeks of vacation in between. To not

break the routine, we promised each

other that we would still go for a run

(separately) on Tuesday afternoon while

we were both on vacation.

This routine is one of the most effective

shared routines that Ive had in my life because: -Excuses were not allowed

-We didnt break the routine (not even for vacation)

"Death isnt sad: The

sad thing is most

people dont live at

all"

-From the movie 'Peaceful

Warrior'



-We rewarded ourselves afterwards with a home-made milkshake

-We pushed each other to continue

-The time and place were always the same

Competitive Creatures

Do you see all the elements that are involved? It is the element of rewarding ourselves after a good run. No

excuses or exceptions. No ambiguity

about the time or place, so neither one of us could make a mistake and not

show up. Perhaps, the most important

thing about creating friendly competition is that you somehow want to be better

than the other person. There is a

competitive element to it, if not consciously then subconsciously. We are

competitive creatures, so use this to

your advantage and create a routine with a person who is at your level of

performance, or ideally a little bit better.

You will improve or learn the most if your friendly competitor is a little bit better. He or she will challenge you to come up with new ways to

win, be faster or stronger.

As a result of this, your level of performance will not stagnate, but you

will keep on growing.

It is of course important to set your own goals and not be dependent

upon the goals of your friendly competition. The other person might

just be less ambitious than you are, maybe overly ambitious, or maybe he or she simply learns faster. It might well be that this person

has a different metabolism, which causes the physical results you both

have to differ, even though youre doing the same thing.

So keep in mind that you are using your competitive nature to get the

best out of yourself, not to actually be better than the other person. Therefore, it might be a very good idea to set personal goals before

using this self-discipline technique to challenge yourself.

"Depression comes

from inaction. People

often ask me: 'I'm

depressed, what

should I do?'

I tell them:

Well anything!"

-Wayne Dyer



It goes without saying that even though you have this competition

going, you will always be there to support one another. It is not about

reaching the finish line first, its about making sure that you both reach the finish line. If you have run faster than you ever have and

improved your personal record by 5 minutes, and your buddy wasnt able to reach the finish line at all, you have failed.

I have personally found bigger groups (2+) to not work as well as just

having one training buddy. In a bigger group, it is much easier to say; Hey guys, Im sitting this one out, have fun today. However, you cant do stuff like that in a one on one situation.

Compete with Yourself

What you can try however is by competing against yourself. I remember a game on the Nintendo 64 that I used to play as a kid,

Diddy Kong Racing. Aside from the fact that this game is simply the

most epic racing game ever made, it allowed you to race against your past-self, your ghost. If you have ever been playing games like these,

you would probably have come across similar functions. The take-

away here is that you can do the same thing in real life. Keep track of your previous performances and try to outdo your past-self.

Coaching Friendship The friendly competition that my buddy Joris and I started out with

has evolved into a sort of coaching friendship. We always call each

other to ask how the other is doing with his homework. To us, homework means studies, sports, movies, books, courses and

everything else that makes you grow as a person. In case one of us

isnt able to talk for 30 minutes straight about all of the new stuff we have experienced or been watching and reading about, the other one

knows that something is wrong. During this conversation, it literally

rains new recommendations of books to read, movies to watch, new sports to try out, subjects to get into, everything. This is extremely

motivating and informative for the both of us.

If you have the chance to create a coaching friendship like this one

with a friend, or maybe even your significant other, do it. It is one of

the most valuable and fun relationships youll ever have in your life.



Do you also have a friendly competitor?


There is a profound difference between pleasure and satisfaction.

Pleasure is cheap. A cheeseburger and a couple of martinis will do

the trick. But pleasure doesnt last very long. Satisfaction requires

a more significant investment of effort often to the point of

discomfort. The payoff, however, is deeper and more enduring."

-Tony Schwartz



"Thanks for finishing my eBook!

I hope to hear from you soon.

All the best!

Cheers,

Seph"

Do It self Dicipline

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