Dealing with Difficult People in the Workplace

Presented by: BCC Career Services

Objectives…

At the end of this workshop you should…

Understand how difficult employees can cause conflict

Be able to identify at least 6 types of difficult people

Know 5 things to do when dealing with difficult people

Overview

1. Difficult people and conflict

2. 11 types of difficult people

3. Additional Helpful Hints

Difficult People and Conflict

Can be anyone – even YOU!Difficult because it works for

themDealing with them can cause

conflict

Difficult People and Conflict (cont)

Conflict can result in a charged work environment

Difficult behavior causes stress in others

Conflict can reduce an organizations effectiveness

The Bulldozer

Know it all

Often use threats, sarcasm, & intimidation

Dealing with Dozers

Prepare yourselfAsk questionsFocus on solutionDo not confront them

Bullies

Loud and hostileAbusiveOverwhelm you

Battling Bullies

Let them run down

Get their attention

State your point non-aggressively

Don’t allow interruptions

Ask them to leave

Fire Hose

Dampen enthusiasm

Everything will fail

Negative statements

Constantly complaining

Drain the Fire Hose

Don’t be dragged down

Don’t argue

Listen – then ask for alternatives

Don’t agree or apologize

Switch to problem solving

Take action on your own

Stallers/ Wafflers

Reluctant to turn down requests

Want to be liked

Afraid or unable to manage

Paralyzed by tough decisions

Sideline the Stallers

Surface hidden concerns

Help them resolve the problem

You make the decision – with caution

Support decisions

Keep control of situation

Silent Types

Silent/unresponsive

Answer with a grunt

Turn away from people

Pretend nothing happened

Open the Silent Ones

Meet with them individually

Give them time to open up

Ask open-ended questions

Wait for a response

If no comments – comment on what’s

happening

Indecisive

Super helpful – but…

Postpone decisions

Hint and beat around the bush

Resolve Indecision

Address fears with “what if” questions

Help resolve problems when issues surface

Help examine facts

Watch for anger or withdrawal

Sniper

Exclude key people

Withhold information

Use hidden attacks, innuendos, digs, non-playful teasing

Wreck havoc and you don’t see them

Unload the Sniper

Surface the attack

Provide peaceful alternative

Bring resistance into the open

Seek group confirmation or denial of snipers criticism

Use coaching/counseling if assigned tasks not done

Why Always Me

Gain attention - “its always me”

Try to gain control and make their changes

Nothing is Always

Dig for specifics Identify true concernPoint out where not true

Control Freak

Get into everyone’s business

Undermine and insult abilities

Lack confidence & trust

Insufferable – render subordinates ineffective

Reduce Controllers

Build trust

Take small steps toward more authority

Keep focused on solution

Speak from your own view-point

Don’t let yourself be verbally abused

Super-Agreeables

Very personable

Don’t act the way they say they will

Supportive but don’t deliver

Dealing with Super-Agreeable

Show them you like them

Prevent unrealistic commitments

Make honesty non-threatening

Point out inconsistencies in behavior

Work for a mutual benefit

Listen carefully to jokes

It’s Not Up To Me

Always point to higher authority

Invokes other powers

Let’s Ask the Authority

Tell them you will both speak to the higher authority

Helpful Hints

Don’t escalate

Focus on what a person is trying to say

Avoid being purposefully hurtful

Model behavior you want

Focus on solutions

Maintain eye contact

More Helpful Hints

Blame the process, not the person

Be specific

Avoid always and never

Avoid name calling

Encourage listening

Confront in private – praise in public

Use your communication skills!

Resources

14 Workplace Personalities and How to Handle Them – iVillage

Online Newsletter, Dealing with Difficult People, March 1999, http://www.itstime.com/print/mar99p.htm

Techniques for Dealing with Difficult People, Ag Decision Maker, John Baker, Iowa State University, Iowa Extension, October 1999

Dealing with Difficult People, http://www.bethanyhome.org/dealing_with_difficult_people.htm

Dealing with Difficult People/Situations: Role of the Extension Committee Member, University of Minnesota Extension Service

Dealing with Difficult Members, University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, http://www.uwec.edu/DC/AP/complexthoughts/Dealing_w_Difficult_ Mbrs.html

Games People Play, Presentation to BVHRMA, May 1, 2003, Jan Pfannstiel, SPHR

Welch, Ben D., Phd, Interpersonal Relations Skills, Presentation at TAMU and Dealing with Difficult People, presentation June 19, 1998