Dealing With “Difficult” People – A Guide to Conflict ... With “Difficult” People – A...
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Dealing With “Difficult” People – A Guide to Conflict Resolution
Presented by:Madonna Riley, PHRJuly 29, 2010
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Madonna RileySr. Corporate HR Specialist
• PHR Certified • Extensive experience in
management and administration of human resources functions, including recruitment, hiring and retention
• 2006 Asian Pacific-Islander American Outstanding Employee Award
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Session Objectives
At the end of this session you should be able to:
• Recognize the effects of conflict
• Identify causes of conflict
• Deal with “difficult” personalities
• Communicate effectively to avoid conflict
• Resolve and manage conflicts
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What Is Conflict?
Conflict – a disagreement; a dispute;
the clash of interests, ideas or
personalities
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What Is Conflict?
• Within groups or between individuals
• Personal or work-related
• Can be productive
• Can be resolved
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The Good News
Conflict Can Be Constructive
CustomerSatisfaction
DiversityHealthy
Competition
Innovation
Creativity
Conflict
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The Bad News
Conflict Can Be Destructive
Harassmentand
Violence
LowerMorale
CustomerDissatisfaction
WidespreadDissension
ReducedProductivity
DamagedRelationships
Conflict
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Common Causes of Conflict
• Poor communication• Different work styles• Incompatible personalities• Conflicting goals• Customer interactions
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Common Causes of Conflict
People have different:
• Needs
• Functions
• Perceptions
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Why Are “Difficult” People Difficult?
Start with yourself:
Could YOU be the problem?
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Recognizing “Difficult”Personalities
• The “Bulldozer” - Abusive, abrupt
• The “Exploder” – Outbursts filled with rage
• The “Complainer” – Finds fault with everything
• The “Clam” – Silent, “yes” or “no”, grunt
• The “Wet Blanket” – “It won’t work”
• The “Know-It-All” – Expert on all matters
• The “Staller” – Habitually indecisive
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Dealing With “Difficult”People
The “Bulldozer”
• Time to run down
• Don’t worry about being polite
• Forcefully; no apologies
• Don’t cut down
• Negotiation
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Dealing With “Difficult”People
The “Exploder”
• Gain self-control
• Neutral phrase
• Serious
• Private setting
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Dealing With “Difficult”People
The “Complainer”
• Listen
• Don’t argue or apologize
• State the facts
• Put in writing
• “How do you want the discussion to end?”
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Dealing With “Difficult”People
The “Clam”
• Open-ended questions
• Wait for response
• Extra time
• Comment on what is happening
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Dealing With “Difficult”People
The “Wet Blanket”
• Be alert
• Optimistic but realistic
• Don’t argue
• Don’t offer solutions
• Raise questions
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Dealing With “Difficult”People
The “Know-It-All”
• Be prepared
• Listen and paraphrase
• Don’t over-generalize
• Watch your responses
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Dealing With “Difficult”People
The “Staller”
• Be open
• Acknowledge past problem
• Give support
• Assign responsibility
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Effective Communication
Sending Clear Messages
• Think first
• Make “I” statements
• Avoid “you” statements
• Practice difficult messages
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Effective Communication
Sending Clear Messages
• Be honest
• Inform
• Be positive
• Avoid negative patterns
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Effective Communication
Hearing What Others Say
• Don’t interrupt
• Pay attention
• Be open
• Look for clues
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Effective Communication
Hearing What Others Say
• Show you’re listening
• Use your imagination
• Ask questions
• Restate
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Resolving Conflict
Five Basic Methods:
• Withdrawal
• Smoothing
• Forcing
• Compromise
• Collaboration
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Attitude Check
• Cool down
• Be assertive
• Focus on the issues
• Keep an open mind
• Look for common interests
• Resolve the conflict
• Let go of the past
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Resolving Conflict
Process:
• Cease fire
• Respect
• Identify
• Discuss
• Agree
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Resolving Conflict
Conflicts With Customers
• Identify problems
• Focus on solutions
• Clarify
• Get help
• Check for satisfaction
• Follow up
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Managing Recurring Conflicts
Find underlying causes and break the cycle.
• Take the lead
• Speak to each individual
• Bring everyone together
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Mediating Conflicts
• There to help
• Affecting work
• Ask how conflict can be ended
• Win-win solution
• Commitment
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Questions?
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Thank You!
G&A Partners is a Houston-based HR and administrative services company that manages human resources, benefits,
payroll, accounting and risk management for growing businesses. G&A maintains offices in Houston, Dallas, San
Antonio, Austin, College Station, Corpus Christi, Arizona and Utah. For more information about the company, visit
www.gnapartners.com or call 713.784.1181.