CROWD SURFINGAt an arena show, the punters have no choice but to lug crowd

surfers over their heads and will happily save them from over-

zealous bouncers – if only to get a quick grope. The same

though doesn’t go for a Sunday afternoon acoustic show in a

quiet pub. In this case, and you can’t overcome the urge to

surf then you should probably do a risk assessment of how

many friends you have and how sober the crowd are.

SEE YA IN THE PIT!There is absolutely nothing wrong with starting a pit at a show,

however just because the first band have opened with their

heaviest song to a room full of adoring 14 years olds doesn’t

mean you have to wade in and start wind milling the shit out of

them for the whole set! Basic sociology should of taught you to

play well with others by now. So, always pick a brother or sister

up when they hit the deck and pick a fair target for your fists of

fury!

PRE-DRINKS Pre drinking at a mate’s house before a gig is

completely acceptable, yes you’ll probably miss the

first band and probably the first half of the second one

but you’ve saved about £15! You’re at your perfect

‘chatty drunk’ phase and you only wanted to see the

headliner anyway – so it’s all good, right?

Fast forward a few drinks later, the Jäger has got the

best of you and the whole crowd is taking bets on

which one of you and your buddies will be the first to

chunder.

THE HUMAN PYRAMIDThe human pyramid. Used as a gymnastic offering of

appreciation to only the best of bands. It not only looks

impressive but is lots of fun to be a part of. There are however

various safety concerns.

If you are going to dive-in as soon as you see the pyramid signal

then make sure you’ve got the bump to back it up, else you

might be in some serious pain! The same goes if you want to be

the Christmas fairy at the top – make sure you’re a scrappy doo

not a Beethoven!

There are some not so important social etiquette rules which only a gig nazi would

enforce on you; tall people must stand at the back, talking during a set is not prohibited,

heckling the artists is rude and telling the band how good they are after their set is

social suicide. This is all bull!

Tall people can stand where they like, telling your friends “this band rules!” or arguing

with your boyfriend about shoving all his shit in your bag is perfectly acceptable.

Heckling your friends band is harmless fun that should be encouraged and projectile

vomiting your appreciation of a bands set on the singers shoes is a god given right!

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