Conflict StrategiesChicagoQuest Core Mechanics

Essential Question

What is your strategy for dealing with conflict?

Engage

In what ways can conflict be positive or helpful?

Video Link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sP6OwyAzq_k

Have a Strategy

Often our responses during conflict are out of habit or reaction.

Insults, threats, getting physical are often reactions that are not thought out.

Games

In games, we have a strategy. A strategy is a plan of action designed to achieve a goal.

Having a strategy is a way to avoid just reacting.

When we react, we let others control us. When we have a strategy, we take control.

Scenarios

Using poplett, pages or keynote, develop a strategy for dealing with one of the following scenarios.

Trace through several possibilities - what if the other person responds by escalating the conflict? what if they de-escalate the conflict?

Ground Rules

Some ground rules for our scenario are:

Fighting is a lose-lose. It is likely to get you in trouble and or hurt. Always assume that fighting is a losing strategy.

Be clear on your goal. Are you trying to ‘win’ the conflict? To end it? What goals do you have for the given scenario?

scenario 1

There is a person in your class that is always bothering you - teasing you, nudging you, being disrespectful towards you in front of others. Today they have decided to insult how you walk. How do you respond?

Scenario 2

Your locker is right next to someone who can be a bit of a bully. At times you are afraid to even go near there when the bully is around. How can you address the situation so you don’t end up late for class?

Scenario 3

Someone you hardly know is always punching you in the arm as they walk by in the hallway. At first you thought it was an accident, and then just messing around, but now it is starting to feel like the person is just being deliberately mean. What is your strategy?

A-B-C-D

Remember these A-B-C-Ds for having a strategy in conflict resolution

A. Avoid potentially negative situations.

B. Be calm and collected

C. Communicate clearly and confidently.

D. Determine your goals.

A

Avoid potentially negative situations:

Don’t push into situations that are likely to create conflict, to escalate a current issue, or to cause other problems.

Be especially aware in chaotic areas - hallways, lunch room, recess, etc.

B

Be calm and collected.

As we discussed last week, be calm and collected.

Use strategies for calming - deep breaths, create additional space, count upwards, change your body position

C

Communicate clearly and confidently.

Use “I” messages, not “you” messages. You messages tend to escalate conflict - “you are always bothering me”, “you need to stop”, “you are a dummy”, etc.

I messages tend to deescalate conflict - “I am frustrated”, “I just want to get to my locker”, etc.

C

Communicate clearly and confidently (part 2)

Clarify as you go - make sure you understand what the other person is saying and repeat back your understanding to them “It sounds like you are really mad at me”

Use conversation starters, not enders. Avoid yes/no questions - ask the other person what they think, what ideas they have.

D

Determine your goals

It is important to act with purpose - otherwise you are simply reacting.

Ask yourself some simple questions - what do you hope to gain from this conflict? Is it necessary? What would you consider to be a good outcome?

Exit

Email your strategy to your Home Base teacher. Be prepared to discuss your strategies!