CONFLICT RESOLUTION for the lead worker
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Transcript of CONFLICT RESOLUTION for the lead worker
CONFLICT RESOLUTIONfor the lead worker
Paris BoehmDoug D. Whittle
Whittle Consulting Group, LLC
Conflict Resolution
Today’s objectives:
Review types & sources
of workplaceconflict
Examinedifferent ways
to address& resolveconflict
Applyconflict
resolutionmodels &
approachesthrough practice
At the endof the day…
To betterknow & understandyourself and others
in order to improve youryour skills in managing
& resolving conflict
• There is no silver bullet
• One size does not fit all
• Managing your behaviors and
reactions…both a skill and an art
• Practice makes perfect
Truths
• You can not control others
• You can control yourself
• You accept responsibility for your actions,
reactions, decisions, and emotions
• You share responsibility for the success
of your team
You must agree…
Power?Authority?
Whenyou
thinkyou are
powerful,you are.
Whenothersthinkyou arepowerful,you are.
8. Lead & Make It Happen
7. Find Solutions
6. “Own It”
5. Acknowledge Reality
4. Wait & Hope
3. “I can’t” - Excuses
2. Blame Others
1. Unaware / Unconscious
powerless
POWERFUL
?Do you take risks
What’s the risk of acting?– What do you risk if you address the conflict?
What’s the risk of NOT acting?– What do you risk if you DON’T address the conflict?
If you do or if you don’t…either way, it’s risky business
If you always dowhat you’ve always done,
you will always getwhat you’ve always got.
Fire
Aim
Ready
Fire
Aim
Ready
When
conflictgets out of hand…
Speak when you are angry…
and you will make
the best speech
you will
ever regret.
Ambrose Bierce
ModelsTools&
NoYES DesiredState
CurrentState
CurrentState
DesiredState
NoYES DesiredState
ORGANIZATIONAL CULTURE
Time involved(Short) (Long)
GROUP BEHAVIOR
INDIVIDUAL BEHAVIORS
Diff
icul
ty(L
ow)
(Hig
h)
INDIVIDUAL ATTITUDES
KNOWLEDGE
Benefitsof managing conflict
• Better motivated staff• Staff energies directed toward work, not
emotions• More positive image of organization, team• Improved teamwork• Better personal development of individuals
2
Benefitsof managing conflict
• More, better ideas• Increased creativity & innovation• Increased self-respect• Increased synergy
2
Drawbacksof ignoring conflict
• Lower morale• Climate of mistrust, suspicion, hostility created• Escalation & spread of conflict to others• Dissipation of staff energy• Misdirection of staff energy• Reduced productivity• Misperception that inaction is the easiest option—the
problem will ultimately be harder to solve
2
5waysto deal withconflict
Accommodation
Avoidance Competition
Compromise
Collaboration
2
Avoidance•Withdraw•Deny
2
Accommodation•Minimizes, suppresses differences•Maintains surface harmony•Can result in feelings of powerlessness, frustration
2
Competition
•Focuses on defeating other side
2
Compromise•Each party gives up something•Trade-offs•Multiple options, solutions•Use to build consensus 2
Collaboration
•Experience, expertise, perceptions of both parties recognized & valued•Alternatives discussed openly•Decisions made in broader context: What’s best for team, department, company 2
Conflict Management ProcessRecognize that a conflict exists
Monitor the climate Examine, summarize the situation
Plan your approach Address the issue
Involve & engage the stakeholders Identify a forward path
Appraise, don’t dwell
1.2.
3.4.
5.6.
7.8. 3
Conflict Management process
Recognize that a conflict exists1.
3
•Overt vs. covert•Visible vs. hidden•Obvious vs. subtle
TripTRIGGERmy
3
Conflict management process
Monitor the climate2.
•Keep eyes open•Don’t ignore•Early warning system
3
To monitor conflict…• Know yourself
• Know others
• Adapt and Connect
• Do unto others as THEY would be done unto
questioningdeliberate
precise
formal
strong-willedcompetitivedemandingdetermined
caringpatientsharing
encouraging
dynamicsociable
persuasiveenthusiastic
Who areYOU?
questioningdeliberate
precise
formal
strong-willedcompetitivedemandingdetermined
caringpatientsharing
encouraging
dynamicsociable
persuasiveenthusiastic
Who isHE/SHE?
Conflict management process
Examine, summarize the situation3.
•WHAT is the actual issue?•WHAT is the root cause?•WHAT are potential and actual impacts?•Avoid snap judgments.•Be empathetic
3
CONFLICT = STRESS
Demonstrated Behaviors
questioningdeliberatecautiousprecise
formal
strong-willedcompetitivedemandingdeterminedpurposeful
caringpatientsharingrelaxedencouraging
sociabledynamic
persuasiveenthusiastic
demonstrative
…on a bad day
suspiciousindecisivereservedstuffycold
overbearingaggressivecontrollingintolerant
driving
blanddocilereliantstubbornplodding
hastyfrantic
excitableindiscreet
flamboyant
Stress Causepoor quality, time wasted, lack of structure
time out, fast action, place in controlStress Remedy
First Response
impatient
aggressive
irritable
demanding
Flipped Out
withdrawn
helpless
offended
misunderstood
Stress Causerejection, restricted flexibility, no fun
save face, outside the box, distractionStress Remedy
First Response
hasty
scream
indiscretion
throw things
Flipped Out
ice cold
mission to kill
no emotion
detached
Stress Causevalue violation, interruptions, unfair treatment
sincerity, personal contact, trust restorationStress Remedy
First Response
self doubt
hurt feelings
rumination
stubborn
Flipped Out
very critical
vicious
destructive
nasty
Stress Causelack of focus, indecisiveness, out of control
information, build a path forward, analysisStress Remedy
First Response
withdraw
split hairs
hesitate
go quietly
Flipped Out
lose control
cry
get loud
get emotional
Conflict management process
Plan your approach4.
3
•Build climate of open exchange•Avoid taking sides•Identify preferred outcome(s)•Build your BATNA•Build your strategy
Daniele Vare, Italian diplomat
Diplomacyis the art
of letting someone else
haveyour way.
Best
Alternative
To a
Negotiated
Agreement
4
LiveWith
ContentWith
AspireTo
BATNA
Conflict management process
Address the issue5.
4
•Maintain control•Consider a time out•Take time to consider all points of view•Listen & hear
critical elements of
communications
Talking PointsTiming
Channels
2-3Talking Points
SettingLevel of formality
PreparationProcess time
Decision & commitment
Timing
Oral: In personOral: Distance
ElectronicPrint
Grapevine
Channels
Peopledon’t resist change…
…they resistbeing changed
Edgar Schein
RESISTANCE
I don’tgetit!
Idon’tlikeit!
Idon’tlikeyou!
Reasons for
BarriersOthers
See
Barriers to agreement
Not their ideaFear of losing faceToo much too fast
Unmet interest
4
RESISTANCE
Helping others through
• Involve the other side– Ask for and build on their
ideas
• Ask for constructive criticism– How might we...?
• Offer choices and alternatives
Not my Idea!
4
RESISTANCE
Helping others through• Walk in their shoes
– Would I agree to this if I were them?
– Why? Why not?
• Review basic human needs– Look for intangible motivations
that drive their behavior
• Look for low cost, high benefit trades
• If-then bargains
Unmet interests
4
RESISTANCE
Helping others through• Help them back away
without backing down
• Show how circumstances
have changed
• Ask for third-party
recommendation
• Provide testimonials
• Share credit
• Give them the limelight
Fear oflosing face
4
RESISTANCE
Helping others through• Go slow to go fast• Pilot project• Don’t ask for final
commitment until
the end• Don’t rush to the
finish• Caution: avoid
verbal contracts
Too much,too fast
4
Denial
Resistance Exploration
Commitment
Anger Checking Out
QUITand
LEAVE
QUITand
STAY
QUIT!
Two ways to
Conflict management process
Involve and engage stakeholders6.
4
•Recognize all parties’ alternatives•Emphasize communication•Work to improve relationships•Be nondiscriminatory and compatible with organization’s preferred practices•Generate a lasting commitment to the solution
! It’s all about
stakeholders
• Anyone with a vested interest in the outcome of your mission & initiatives
• Interest groups to whom your organization is accountable
You have more than one!
STAKEHOLDERS
Identifying the needs
Who’s who?
What doI need
from them?
Whatdo they
need fromme?
Whoare my
key stakeholders?
Wheredo they
currentlystand?
Mapping your stakeholders
Who’s who?
Whodo they
influence?
Whoinfluences
them?
CCoachoachinging
Unlockinga person’s potential
to maximize their own performance
COACHINGHelping people to learn
rather than teaching them
Coaching focuseson future
possibilitiesnot
past mistakes
COACHING
Principles of
A skillful coachrarely providesor prescribes
solutions
It may be harder to giveup instructing
than it isto learnto coach
Perhaps the hardest thing a coach has to
learn is to
SHUT UP!
Questions for effective coaching
RG
OW
OALS
EALITY
PTIONS
ILL
What do you want?
What is happening now?
What could you do?
What will you do?
7
Conflict management process
Identify a forward path7.
4
•Examine options•Explore compromise•Identify acceptable path forward•Obtain commitment from all parties•ARCI
IC
RA ccountable
esponsible
onsult
nform
Conflict management process
Appraise, don’t dwell8.
4
•Post-mortem•Lessons learned•Continuous improvement
Conflict management process
Appraisal questions to ask8.
4
•What did you gain or lose for now?•What will you gain or lose in the future?•What did the other person gain or lose?•What will the other person gain or lose in the future?•How do you feel about this outcome?•What would you do differently the next time?
Conduct autopsies,without blame.
Good to Great p77
Stop
Continue
Start8
Withwhom
do I need tobuild strong
relationships?
With whom do I need to
minimizeassociation?
PARTNERSHIPS
RELATIONSHIPS
Office Politics for the Utterly Confused (Salmon & Salmon)
Saying thanksis one of the simplest
ways tobuild relationships
wordswisdom
of
C.W. Metcalf
Know when
uncomfortable becomes unbearable
Don’t burn bridges
(even when you are tempted)
Save energy for
the battles that count
Take yourself lightlyand your job seriously
Understand that you are notthe center of the universe
Overcome terminal professionalism
Expect the best
Find absurdity in adversity
Do something for the fun of it
Paris Boehm, Associate
HITTLE CONSULTIN
G GROUP
www.Whittl
eConsultin
gGroup.com
THANK YOU!!!