CONFLICT RESOLUTION Basic Aid - Singapore Institute of ......Conflict Resolution Basic Skills •...
Transcript of CONFLICT RESOLUTION Basic Aid - Singapore Institute of ......Conflict Resolution Basic Skills •...
CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Basic Aid
Contents
• Understanding Conflict
• The Effects of Conflict
• First Steps to Managing Conflict
• Time to Reflect
• Conflict Resolution Basic Skills
• Negotiation Tips
• Getting Help
Understanding Conflict
• Conflict is often described as a serious disagreement or argument, whether internally, within ourselves, or between two or more persons.
• It could be characterised by differing opinions, values, expectations and motivations, interests, opposing needs and wants.
• While we may not be able to avoid and prevent conflict all the time, how we manage conflict is just as important.
The Effects of Conflict
• Conflict creates negative tension, which can result in strained relationships, causing stress, anxiety and even frustration and anger.
• Conflict could drain a person’s energy when it is prolonged with no resolution or peaceful closure to the situation or matter at hand.
• When this happens, it could affect a person’s ability to perform at school or at work.
First Steps to Managing Conflict
• Keep calm. Take a deep breath and remember that you are able to be calm and think about your own appropriate response to the matter.
• Discuss one issue at a time.
• Remain focused on the facts of the matter and consider how things can be resolved in a positive manner.
• Do not use any degrading or abusive language. Express your feelings with positive words and take responsibility for them.
• Take turns to talk and listen. You may learn something from each other.
First Steps to Managing Conflict
Other tips include:
• Practise non-judgement. Accept and respect that individual opinions differ.
• Do not force a person to agree with you and/or do as you say.
• Attempt to come to a compromise or an understanding.
• If you are too upset or angry, it may be wiser to walk away to cool down and reflect before returning to resolve the situation.
Time to Reflect
• Take some time out to reflect on what has happened and the nature of the conflict.
• Map out the conflict. Write down the sequence of events, and, if any, the measures taken then to help the situation.
• Review these actions – what worked and what did not work.
• Ask yourself if this disagreement really matters to your relationship and decide to move forward or not.
• Consider the possible outcomes which you would like.
Time to Reflect
• Journal ways in which you think could resolve the conflict in a peaceful and positive manner.
• Share your thoughts and ideas with a trusted friend, lecturer, mentor or counsellor.
• Seek assistance, where a neutral facilitator/mediator (for example, a student counsellor or a lecturer) could help in bringing together those involved to resolve the conflict.
Time to Reflect
Some questions to reflect and consider:
• “What is the underlying reason for my anger or disturbance over the matter/person at hand?”
• “How did I react/respond to the situation/person? Was it helpful or more destructive?”
• “How did I communicate – passively, aggressively or assertively?”
• “What could I have done differently? Knowing this, how can I move forward to resolve the matter?”
Conflict Resolution Basic Skills
• Take steps to learn how to manage your emotions.
• When there is a conflict, focus on the problem, not the person.
• Use reflective listening – listen to understand, to get a clear picture and not to retort back.
• Practise empathy – our ability to understand what another person is experiencing from within this person's point of view.
• Be clear and use ‘I’ statements. For example, “I get upset when you keep cutting me off in a meeting. Shall we take turns to speak so all our views are shared and heard?”
• Communicate your thoughts and feelings in an appropriate, assertive manner. No blaming. (For more information on communication, download Positive Communication Basic Aid.)
• Know when to take a time-out if things get too heated. The goal is to come together on common ground with collaborative individuals.
• Set another time and place to meet again to discuss the situation or matter at hand.
• Think positively and creatively – the conflict does not always have to be a problem, you could turn it into opportunities and possibilities.
Conflict Resolution Basic Skills
Conflict Resolution Basic Skills
• Brainstorm together and negotiate to find a win-win solution or a compromise.
• Recognise each person’s needs and differences and be open to adapting to the situation for collective, positive outcomes.
• Explore best and worst options, and/or outcomes, to find a suitable, acceptable way forward.
Tips for Positive Negotiation
• Prepare and plan what you would like to discuss if there was a time set to meet again.
• Find a suitable location and consider seating arrangements, for example, sitting in a circle together which creates a sense of inclusiveness.
• Focus on the needs to be resolved, future positive outcomes and emphasise common ground.
• Lay down the ground rules for positive, appropriate behaviours.
• Call out any negative behaviour – address the behaviour, not the person.
Tips for Positive Negotiation
• Be positive and creative in coming up with alternative ideas and options.
• Be clear about goals and agreements.
• Remember to respond, not react. It helps to adopt an objective and supportive approach.
• Allocate time for breaks if the meeting or discussion takes some time. This allows everyone time to refresh and collect themselves.
Getting Help
• Speak to a trusted person, who you think is mature and level-headed, for guidance and advice.
• This person could be a student leader, mentor, programmedirector, lecturer, staff or a student counsellor.
• You could make an appointment to see a student counsellor. This is free and confidential. Email: [email protected].
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