What it means to be a Karl Culp(and why I should be accepted

into Collins)

By Karl CulpStarring Karl Culp

Produced by Karl CulpKarl Culp

Entirely too small of a font to use

I will be starting my presentation with this slide

• The next slide has an acrostic poem describing me as I saw best fit– Prepare for the ride of your life

• interesting fact– My full name is Karl Clifford Culp

» So my initials are KCC

• But if you changed the middle “C” to an “F”

• I’d be

• KFC

• Karl

• Fried

• Culp

K harismatic (did you even notice I used a “K” and not a “C”? It’s because I’m so charismatic; and my name is Karl)

A rtsy

R eally really good looking

L ikes pugs, a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot

C ares for many things (like people and music!)

U ndulating (you think of a better “u” adjective)

L icentious (just kidding)

P robably won’t do really stupid things

Things I can do good• Doodles on notes, DOODLES EVERYWHERE

• Procrasti– sorry, I didn’t feel like finishing that

• Play the euphonium (the most underrated brass instrument)

• Do well academically (Dat 3.5 GPA)

• Eat

• Eat

• Works well and has fun with others!

SORRYIn hindsight, most of the those things aren’t list-worthy

But that doesn’t make me any less of an alright guy

Here is a graph to prove that I know what I’m talking about

0

0.5

1#

of

Kar

l Cu

lps

in C

olli

ns

Arbitrary Units of Happiness

Amount of Karl Culps

In conclusion: The amount of myselves admitted into Collins directly correlates directly to the direct amount of happiness that Collins LLC members and myself

directly receive. One Karl = Lots of direct happiness for all!

Basically what I’m trying to say is

So what am I doing in college?

I want to either pursue something in a field of biology or fine arts

My perceived disparity in majors will cause that^ gratuitous picture of myself for probably all of

my freshman year

Why exactly does Karl want to join Collins?

• Joining Collins means I can be with friends and meat meet new people with similar interests and prospects for the future

• Harry Potter

• I might be able to pick up on fashion and stop looking like a hobo– Did you know I only wear T-Shirts and gym shorts

• I’m serious– I don’t even have flannel

» Or a scooter

• I heard people ride scooters here

This is a badly formatted page meant to hurt your

eyes

•I’m really sorry for

•T h i s

Isn’t that the^ worst kerning> ever? v

So what can(‘t) Karl do for you???

• I can make you laugh– No really, I can– Laughing improves lifespan

• I’m not sure if this is true, but I’ve heard it before– You’re probably in good health as it is, so why does it matter?

• I can listen– I am good at listening

• I’m like a therapy dog– You can even pet me

» People say my hair is soft• I won’t even mind if you pet me

• Well maybe a bit• But that’s okay, because I'm understanding like that

• I can’t cook very well– But I can try

• But I am a liability in a kitchen, so

• I can do the dinosaur– Get on the floor

The EndComing soon:

Karl Culp 2: The Revenge of the Karls

Just Kidding, this is the endmy only friend

the end

• I hope you take some of this with a grain of salt

– But not if you’re on a low sodium diet• Zing

• Thanks for taking the time to consider me for the Collins LLC