CHAPTER 9: BUILD TRUST AS YOU COMMUNICATE

PART 1: LISTENING SKILLS

Dr. M. Davis-Brantley

What is Communication?

Communication is the transfer of information among individuals Speaking Writing Reading Listening

We learn to engage in these most of these behaviors from others (parent, teacher, friends)

Don’t receive formal instruction on how to listen

Listening vs. Hearing

Remember: Sensation vs. Perception Which is Sensation? Which is Perception? Listening is active and something we

choose to do It is a proactive behavior

Effective Communication—Listening Skills

True listening is more than just being quiet while someone else is talking

Research states that listening requires that you have at least one of the following intentions in mind

1. To understand someone2. To enjoy someone3. To learn something4. To give help or solace

Steven Covey talks about the intention to understand another human being and the value of accomplishing this first before communicating your own needs or message

Pseudolistening

What does pseudo mean?   Why do we pseudolisten?

Don’t feel like it Don’t want to hear what the other person is

saying Never learned how to listen

How do we pseudolisten? Nodding our heads “Mm-hmm”

When you pseudolisten your intention is not to listen but is to meet some other need such as: See page 237

Blocks to Effective Listening

1. Judging2. Mind Reading3. Stereotyping4. Interrupting5. Comparing6. Advising7. Rehearsing8. Stage-Hogging9. Filtering

10. Dueling11. Derailing12. Daydreaming13. Placating14. Hidden Agendas15. Overreacting

The Building Blocks of Effective Listening:

1. Active Listening Active listening is a process of

giving the speaker nonjudgmental responses as a way of checking the accuracy of what you have heard of whether you fully understand the message of the speaker

Ways to Actively listen1. Paraphrasing2. Clarifying3. Feedback that is immediate, honest,

and supportive

The Building Blocks of Effective Listening:

2. Empathic Listening Putting yourself in the shoes of others Listening to the meanings of the words, not just

to the words

3. Listening with Openness Particularly when someone says something you

don’t agree with Adopting an accepting attitude

Group Presentation: Listening with Awareness and Understanding Nonverbal

Behavior