Burger King PocketBike Racer 2: 50 Haikus

7/28/2019 Burger King PocketBike Racer 2: 50 Haikus

1/18

BY CHRISTIAN PATTERSON


2/18

"Didn't think about

this one all that much at all

and it really shows."

- Rod Naquin

@christianizcool

Christianizcool.tumblr.com

These poems are numbered. I cut many of the haikus and kept their

original numbers. That is why the numbering skips around.


3/18

#1

This coffee makes my

body vibrate. First in my

chest, then goes outward

#2

Wonder Woman was

crafted from clay (Impressive) -

but Gumby was too

#4

Every time I feel

this sleepy, I think, I have

never felt like this.


4/18

#6

Schopenhauer is

a cool name because it is

four syllables long

#9The bar at Dennys

Breakfast at 2pm. in

between mustached men

#10

Someone left a news-

paper in the bathroom stall.

Nice, but I have phone


5/18

#14

The WiFi in this

coffee shop isnt working,

maybe my laptop

#17Ned Flanders started

out as a great character,

now hes self-parody

#19

Pizza Hut kind of

sounds like Matzo Ball but not

really, Idk


6/18

#20

Are Motorhead shirts

the new Joy Division or

the Ramones t-shirt?

#22Ned Flanders is like

a nice Homer, and yet his

wife still passed away

#23

Why do they have Street

Sharks on Netflix Instant, but

not Dino Saucers?


7/18

#24

Contemporary

art is the quintessential

Nanny nanny boo

#25Boo! said the spooky

ghost, Bwaa-a-a said Hank Hill

to his son Bobby

#26

Hi, said the barman

Bye-bye said the barwoman

She bought drinks and left


8/18

#30

Hobo harassing

tourists in Rite Aid, he

tells them they should suck

#31the devils fat d***.

Hes kicked out, but wont leave, call

the cops, I dare you,

#32

he said. Every

cop in town knows me. -- I be-

lieve that, owner said.

#35

Cherry blossoms fall

like a Japanese postcard

in muddy gutters


9/18

#36

I want to go to

a beach with you and stay in

a kitschy motel

#37I want to eat lots

of saltwater taffy with

you on the beaches.

#38

I want to play games

at an arcade that hasnt

changed since the 80s


10/18

#39

I want to play on

bumper boats with you and then

kiss you afterwards

#40I want to sleep in

then get brunch at a crummy

diner at 2pm

#41

I want to wait til

its dark, then stroll the beach

halfway to Gearhart


11/18

#42

Tom Petty, Big Dog

playing pool, eating Taco

Bell, my high school friends

#43I dont know why I

think a lot bout how Flanders

is left-handed too


12/18

#45

Hell is when you think

you have made someone upset

but dont know for sure

#46Hells the feel I get

when Id do anything to

make them all happy

#47

Supermans the last

son of Krypton. Im not the

last of anything


13/18

#54

We could all use a

little more meaning, we could

use a little life

#55We could use more love

but in this society,

we really need reason.

#56

But what good is rea-

son, when were rotting corpses

in the cold, wet dirt?


14/18

#57

But what good is love

by that logic? Well for one

thing, love feels divine.

#59What is a story? Life

is made up of infinity

with no conclusion

#60

Retrospect on life

forms a narrative you had

not noticed before


15/18

#62

Swag is so twenty

ten, but swag can never go

away, here for life

#65Dogs dont deserve to

die. Humans can die but dogs

dont deserve to die.

#66

Jughead & Moose are

weird names but we forget too

Veronica is


16/18

#68

Remember when Mike

Scott said googi googi? What

is googi googi?

#71A list of FroYo

restaurant names I would use:

FroYo Mania

#72

FroYo Yolo, Fro-

zen Gogurt, FroYo Yo-yo

MumFroYo and Sons


17/18

#73

why did Ned Flanders

wife have to die? Flanders is

left handed. Rod Todd

#75Remember when George

said, he was be-boppin and

scattinall over?


18/18

#76

I love being from

the West Coast the crest at the

edge of all Western

#77civilization.

A society built on

a sprawling strip of

#78

concrete. A world built

in or post- modernity,

leeching off the old

#79

world, but forging a

new hyperreality.

The new world, the fake

#80

world. The world that can

crash into the ocean. The

world that we have built to -

#81

the broken gold hingewe built at the edge and now

all have to cling to.

Burger King PocketBike Racer 2: 50 Haikus

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