Slide 1

BugsDraw the body of the bug.Draw the head of the bug.Draw the legs of the bug.Draw the wings of the bug.Draw the eyes of the bug.Draw the antennas on the bug.Draw a tail with a stinger on the bug.Draw a second method of defense for the bug (the first method what the stinger.)Decorate the back of the bug.

1Now give yourself a number grade on how well you think you did (1 really bad, 10 freaking awesome)Now trade papers with someone else. Give a grade to your partners bug picture.Exchange pictures againTake a point off for everything that doesnt match this BUG.2

3How Well Do You Listen?

Like Him?4FYI ON COMMUNICATION*Americans gain 90% of their information from listening*We can think 4-times faster than we can listen100-150 words spoken vs. 250-500 words heard*More than 75% of what we hear is heard incorrectly. We forget 75% of the 25% that we heard correctly within a matter of weeks.*We spend at least 80% of our day listeningConsidering these statistics, people would do well to improve their listening skills.

How well do you listen?

ROAD TRIP Just close your eyes and LISTEN.Imagine that you are in the drivers seat of your car. You pull out of the school parking lot and go..

6The main purpose of active / reflective listening is to clarify what was said.

Listening attentively without interrupting and then restating what was heard.

The listener mirrors back the thoughts and/or feelings the speaker is experiencing.Are you saying You seem If the listener is wrong then the speaker can restate it in a different way.Active/Reflective Listening Is

Group listen activity7I Need a volunteer.Hot N- Cold

Pin the tail on the donkey8Active Listening SkillsGetting Around Listening BlocksStop talking and listen. Let them finish before you begin.Do not finish their sentencesAsk Open Ended questionsClosed: Are you feeling bad today? Open: How are you feeling today?Be in an appropriate environment to talk. Remove all distractions.Wait to offer advice until they ask for it.Use appropriate eye contact.7 blinks in 10 seconds = listening

9Active Listening Skills (cont.)Look like you are interested.Be honest and sincerePay attention to their facial expressions and tone of voice.Watch for clues - It is not so much what they say as how they say it!Dont stand or sit too close. This is a violation of personal space and makes the person uncomfortable.If standing, face the person and let your arms rest at your side. This translates as openness.10What would you say?If sitting, Dont cross arms or legs or lean back. These show lack of interest.Touch your face with your hand from time to time. This translates as thoughtful and contemplative.Nod if you understand or ask for clarification.

Now you try it with your table partner.Boyfriend/Girlfriend to Partner: Im so tired of you always choosing the activities that we do on dates. You never even ask me what I want to do, you just always expect me to like whatever you choose. I like being with you, but I also would like a say in what we do when we go out.Active Listening Response:12The Wright Family StorySit in a circle, Indian style.Each person takes one piece of candy.You will pass it to the person to your right or left any time you hear the word right or left in the story.13What Affects Our Ability to Listen?Sounds & NoisesLack of interestAttitudeLack of ConcentrationPersonal bias towards the subjectThinking about something else mind wanderingYour moodHow you feelThe time of the dayThe temperatureThe speakerYour mental set

14More Listening BlocksI must defend my position.Im looking for an entrance into the conversation.I dont have time to listen to you.I already know what you have to say.

I know what you should do.

GHOTI15PracticePair up one speaker, one listener

Interview partner for 2 min.

Interviewers job is to encourage their partner to share information and feelings by using non-verbal signals and active listening skills.161st InterviewInterviewer needs to find out where person was born, favorite subject in school, have they ever cheated on a test, and feelings about premarital sex.

Switch roles.

2nd InterviewerNew interviewer needs to find out how many siblings they have, hobby, have they ever stolen anything, and philosophy of kissing.

17Partners discuss and evaluate the interview and the observed listening skills.Were you distracted while listening?Did you feel heard by your partner?How did you feel in each role?Do you feel like you know your partner better after this activity?

Was there anything you noticed during this activity that made you feel your partner was or wasnt listening to you?18You lazy bum! Where is the math book I let you borrow?19YOU MessagesDescribing someone else's behavior:Creates barriersPuts others downProvokes anger, hurt, embarrassmentIf you dont ------, Then I will-------

20I MessagesLets others know how you feelExpresses feelings without making people feel defensiveOpens up communicationBuilds trust and respectFocus on the action not the personRemoves criticism and blame

21I Message FormulaWhen I____________ (see, hear, know, dont)Describes the behavior

I feel________________Happy, sad, angry, doubtful, embarrassed, worriedDescribes the feeling experienced because of the behavior

Because ________________Describes the effect it has on you

The tone of voice affects the I-message

22You lazy bum! Where is the math book I let you borrow?23Practice a Couple MoreYou always ignore me when you are around other friends.You never listen to me so why should I even help you?Keep your scummy hands off of my stuff!You are such a lazy bum. You are either on the phone, watching TV, or gone. Start helping or find another place to live.Youd better turn down that music. I cant hear myself think.24Move to an area that is easy to move inHOKEY POKEY

Hokey pokey25