Beating Panic Attacks:One Man’s Story about Overcoming Anxiety

By James Weaver

Copyright 2013 James Weaver

Smashwords Edition

This publication is designed to provide accurate information regarding the subject matter covered. It is offered with the understanding that the author and publisher are not engaged in rendering medical or psychological service. This book is not intended to be a substitute for therapy or professional advice.

Introduction

This is a book that I never thought that I would write. It is about a topic that I find very interesting, but it is a very private subject for me. If you have experienced problems with panic attacks, or other forms of anxiety, you probably understand what I mean about it being a private subject. It is not something that you generally want to share with other people. It was embarrassing to me to admit that I had a problem with panic attacks. No one likes to admit to having, or having had at one point, any problem. This is especially the case when the problem has a mental basis. So due to these reasons, I haven’t shared this aspect of my history with very many people—until recently.

As you may or may not know, I have written several other eBooks, mostly about the law of attraction (see the end of this book for information). Not long ago, I came to the realization that I had learned a great deal about the law of attraction from my experience with panic attacks. I mentioned this in passing to a woman I was coaching and the subject resonated with her. It made me realize that many other people could share in the knowledge I had gained through my experience with panic attacks. So, I ended up writing From Chaos to Clarity: What Panic Attacks Taught Me about the Law of Attraction.

That book briefly discussed my story about panic attacks, but it was focused on the lessons I learned from my experience and how they relate to the law of attraction. When I was done writing the book I knew that I needed to write a book about how I overcame my panic attack problem.

Despite my reservations about openly sharing my story, I strongly feel that this is a book that I needed to write. You have to give to receive, and this book is a gift to anyone who may be experiencing problems with panic attacks, or who have loved ones who are struggling with this problem. I know that there is someone out there who will be helped by this short book. I hope that you are this person. I hope hundreds or thousands of people are helped by my story, but if only one person finds this book useful, I have achieved my goal in writing it.

I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, doctor, therapist, or counselor. I am not rendering medical or mental health advice. I am simply a person who experienced a sudden and unexplainable problem with panic attacks, and who was able to overcome this problem. I have lived through this experience and feel that I have a story to tell which may potentially help other people. It is in this spirit of sharing that I write this book, and I hope that you find something of value in my story.

This book will begin with a brief description of a panic attack. This information is provided so that everyone may know what a panic attack is and what symptoms it can entail. Following this section, I share my story of the panic attacks I experienced in the past. I will then talk about how I was able to beat my panic attack problem. I will also provide some additional resources about panic attacks for anyone interested in learning more.

General Information on Panic Attacks

This short overview of panic attacks is quoted (with a few additions and deletions) from the Mayo Clinic. Original information can be found at this URL: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/panic-attacks/DS00338 (as of 10/1/2013).

A panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear that triggers severe physical reactions when there is no real danger or apparent cause. Panic attacks can be very frightening. When panic attacks occur, you might think you're losing control, having a heart attack or even dying.

Many people have just one or two panic attacks in their lifetimes, and the problem goes away, perhaps when a stressful situation ends but if you've had recurrent, unexpected panic attacks and spent long periods of time in constant fear of another attack, you may have a condition called panic disorder.

Panic attacks were once dismissed as nerves or stress, but they're now recognized as a real medical condition. Although panic attacks can significantly affect your quality of life, treatment can be very effective.

Panic attacks typically begin suddenly and without warning. They can strike at almost any time — when you're driving the car, at the mall, sound asleep or in the middle of a business meeting. Panic attacks have many variations, but symptoms usually peak within 10 minutes. You may feel fatigued and worn out after a panic attack subsides.

Panic attacks typically include a few or many of these symptoms:

Sense of impending doom or danger

Fear of loss of control or death

Rapid heart rate

Sweating

Trembling

Shortness of breath

Hyperventilation

De-realization (feelings of unreality)

Depersonalization (being detached from oneself)

Chills

Hot flashes

Nausea

Abdominal cramping

Chest pain

Headache

Dizziness

Faintness

Tightness in your throat

Trouble swallowing

Dry mouth

One of the worst things about panic attacks is the intense fear that you'll have another one. You may fear having a panic attack so much that you avoid situations where they may occur. You may even feel unable to leave your home (agoraphobia) because no place feels safe.

Now that you have an idea of what a panic attacks entails, I will share my experiences with them.

My Experience with Panic Attacks

A few years back I had trouble with panic attacks. They came on unexpectedly, and for no apparent reason. Nothing in my life situation had changed, but for some reason I was suffering sudden and intense episodes of panic.

The first one occurred on New Year’s Eve. My family was away visiting other family members and I was home alone in a very rural setting. I had a car problem and had no way of leaving home. I had a stuffy nose, and a head cold. It felt hard to breathe. It felt as though my throat was closing up and I was breathing through a straw. As the day went on I was having more and more intense worrying and strange feelings. I was sure that I had pneumonia and that I wasn’t getting enough oxygen in my blood stream. My extremities felt numb. I felt a sense of unreality, dry mouth, light-headedness, and had a pervasive thought that something bad was going to happen. I had to go outside and walk around a few times to try to calm down. My worry was continuing to grow and I kept having recurring negative thoughts and images about what was happening to me.

This started in the morning, and lasted all day long. It was a horrible day, but I made it until night.

I was able to go asleep, but I woke up at 1 AM in a panic. I was covered in sweat. I found it very hard to breathe. I was dizzy, light-headed, had dry mouth and my heart was beating out of my chest. I had a sense of impending doom. I was very concerned that I was going to die. I knew that I was not getting enough blood to my brain and my extremities and I was very concerned about permanent damage. I knew that while I was sleeping, I wasn’t get enough oxygen to my body and that I waited too long to get help.

I was freaking out. I was very scared and I didn’t know what to do. I was alone, isolated and had no way of getting help. I felt stupid calling 911, and the thought of doing that made me feel more uneasy. It just wasn’t an option for me.

After about an hour in this state I decided to call my mother. She lived three hours away from me, but she was several hours closer than my wife. I told her what was happening and that I was too scared to go back to sleep because I was afraid that I wouldn’t wake up again.

She was able to come and get me. We went to an emergency clinic at about 6 AM on New Year’s Day. I told the check-in person that I was sick and was scared that I had pneumonia, and I described my symptoms. I was brought a finger oxygen tester and I wore this in the waiting room. It was clear before they ever took me back that my oxygen levels were fine.

The doctor confirmed this when she examined me. I had an upper respiratory infection. I described the middle-of-the-night incident and she decided to give me an EKG. This also came back fine.

The doctor told me that all of the senses I was feeling were signs of a panic attack. She said that my adrenaline levels were extremely high and that I should stop using caffeine immediately. I was also told that my blood pressure was higher than it should be, and that I should follow up with my primary physician.

While I was glad that I didn’t have pneumonia or any other serious condition, I wish that I had a physical cause. It would have been a lot easier to hear that I had a physical problem than it was to hear that I had a mental one. I felt crazy and embarrassed. I worried that the doctor and the staff were judging me and thinking that I was some crazy person just trying to get drugs. It was embarrassing to tell my family that I was okay physically, and that it was a panic attack. I told myself that the panic attack was caused by the high blood pressure and caffeine. There was no way that I had a problem with panic attacks.

I immediately stopped drinking anything with caffeine in it. I had been taking caffeine pills in the morning, and I stopped this as well. However, I was worried that I had messed up my adrenaline system with so much caffeine over the years. I figured that it would take months or years to get back to normal. I had lesser panic attacks almost every day, although I didn’t recognize them as panic attacks. I thought that the feelings were side effects from the damage caffeine had done to my body, or the high blood pressure the caffeine had caused. Some days were better than others, but I didn’t feel right.

About two weeks after my first panic attack, I decided to check my blood pressure while in a store. I figured that the high blood pressure at the emergency clinic was due to the excessive caffeine, and that it would be normal again. Well, it wasn’t. My blood pressure was high, and it scared me. It gave me something new to worry about.

I came to associate the feeling of anxiety leading up to panic attacks as spikes in blood pressure. I still thought that it may have been from the caffeine, but I became more worried about the blood pressure. High blood pressure can lead to stroke or heart attack, and I didn’t want that to happen. I didn’t immediately go to the doctor, however. Instead, I researched ways to reduce blood pressure through diet and exercise.

A few weeks after the blood pressure check, I began to feel bad at work. I felt hot and easily aggravated. I had the pre-panic attack feelings of unreality, dizziness, impending trouble, difficulty breathing, etc. I even had trouble thinking. I would try to think of a word to use, and I was unable to think of the word. Speech felt difficult.

An employee of mine told me that her sister experienced similar conditions before she had a stroke. This worried me immensely. I immediately went to the local grocery store to check my blood pressure. It was through the roof!! It was WAY higher than it had ever been. I freaked out!

I decided that I needed to leave, and that I needed to go get help. I drove an hour to my hometown to my last primary physician. (Yes, I realize that driving in such a state is a BAD idea, however, I didn’t know what else to do.) My mother used to work for this physician, and she got me in the see him late in the day and on very short notice. He checked my blood pressure about six times during the visit and he asked me

questions about how I was feeling. He told me that I was having panic attacks. He said that while I was in his office that my blood pressure had dropped to normal. He felt that the test made me nervous and that this is why it was registering as high. He set up some tests to make sure that there was no physical issue which could be causing the anxiety. He also gave me a prescription for Xanax to be taken as needed.

When I went to get the prescription filled, I found out that my cousin worked at the pharmacy and that the pharmacist was someone I knew from high school. It was very embarrassing to get the prescription filled. It was also embarrassing to tell my family what the doctor had said.

I did the required tests the next day, and the test results came back fine. My only problem was anxiety. I had no other excuses. I had nothing else to worry about. I officially suffered from panic attacks, and I had to face this fact.

The problem was that I had come to fear the panic attacks. They would happen without warning, day or night. I was very concerned about appearing crazy or freaking out in public. I began to get scared to go too far from home, just in case something happened and I couldn’t make it back.

I only took the Xanax when things got to the point that they were really bad, and I never took more than half a pill. I didn’t want to get addicted to the pills, and I didn’t like how they made me feel. Nevertheless, I carried the pills with me everywhere I went. They were a parachute in case things got too scary to handle.

Over the next three months I continued to have panic attacks, and to be afraid of them. Almost every night I felt panicky before bed. I would take a quarter of a pill depending on how bad I felt. I tried my best not take any pills, but the fear of waking up with a panic attack was extremely frightening.

I did have several more full blown panic attacks over these three months. On two occasions I woke up having a panic attack, and took half a pill. On one occasion I was going out to eat with my wife, kids and my parents, and I had to leave and drive home because I felt like I was going to have a panic attack in a public place.

Apart from the large “full-blown” panic attacks, I experienced a general heightened sense of anxiety, smaller panic attacks, and distorted thinking. For example, I remember trying to distract myself during a pre-panic episode (felt like a panic attack could happen at any moment) by watching television. I was watching a science show and the narrator made the comment that we are on a small rock in the middle of nowhere spinning through space. This immediately became my reality and it was overwhelming. I felt like I was about to spin off of this desolate earth into the vast emptiness of cold, uncaring space, to die silently and in terror. I literally felt this way, and viewed the world this way until I was able to get myself out of that sort of thinking.

I began to feel as if I was perpetually having a bad LSD trip. Any negative thought could lead to a bad situation. Any negative or stressful situation could lead to a panic attack. I began to shut down and withdraw from normal life. I never made it to the point of agoraphobia, but I was beginning to approach this. I knew that I had to defeat this problem. Life was too short to waste on feeling bad, and being scared.

I made a decision to overcome the panic attacks.

How I Defeated Panic

I had only told a few people about my panic attacks. These people generally told me that I needed to see a therapist. I, however, felt that I could handle the issue on my own. I knew that if I could defeat this problem, that I would be a much stronger person.

I have always been somewhat of a socially adverse person. Looking back now, I can see a long history of anxiety in my past. I see now that I had social anxiety for most of my life. This was cured for the most part when I got a job that required me to interact with people, go into their homes and to tell them what to do, but I still have social anxiety tendencies.

I am telling you this to explain why I felt the need to do this on my own. My prior social anxiety issues had shaped me into a person that doesn’t like to reach out to others. I don’t go to the doctor unless it’s an emergency. I don’t call people for help unless I have no other option. I am somewhat of a loner, and I pride myself on doing things my way. This is not necessarily a good trait, but it is honestly where I was coming from. This informed my decision to not seek treatment more than any other issue. However, I was also concerned about how much money it would cost (if I am to be honest).

Since I had made the decision to do this on my own, I began to read as much as I could about anxiety and panic attacks. I started by reading about panic attacks online. I went to bookstore one day during lunch and looked at all of the books in the anxiety section. There were several about panic attacks. I decided to buy Panic Attacks Workbook: A Guided Program for Beating the Panic Trick, by David Carbonell.

This book helped me more than anything else I read. I learned several things from this book that helped me greatly in my endeavor to overcome panic attacks.

The first truth that I uncovered in this process of learning about panic attacks was that I was going to be okay. There was nothing to fear with panic attacks. Yes, they are uncomfortable to experience, but they will not kill you and you won’t go crazy, or anything else you fear. I had placed myself in that cage of fear, but this knowledge set me free.

If you are reading this book and you are battling panic attacks, please understand that you are going to be okay. Panic attacks are scary, but that is all they are. They are not going to harm you. This one realization helped me more than anything else to lessen the fear that I had about panic attacks.

A second, and related truth is that panic attacks are only uncomfortable. Once I truly understood and accepted that panic attacks wouldn’t hurt me, I came to view the panic attack as an uncomfortable feeling. This further helped to de-claw the panic attacks.

Just the change in language itself is important. How we talk about things helps to shape how we experience and see them. By shifting my language and viewpoint from

one of terror to one of uncomfortable feelings, I provided instant relief and motivation for myself to be strong during the panic attack.

Another lesson I learned from panic attacks is about being tricked. Dr. David Carbonell in his Panic Attacks Workbook: A Guided Program for Beating the Panic Trick refers to the “panic trick.” Dr. Carbonell writes in the introduction to this book:

“Why do I call it a trick? Not just because it fools you into thinking that you’re in immediate danger of a personal catastrophe, like death, insanity, or terrible humiliation. Not only because it intimidates you into giving up so many ordinary activities you used to enjoy and take for granted. Those are terrible tricks that can rob your life of joy and meaning but bad as they are, they’re not the worst part of panic. The worst part of the panic trick is that it brainwashes you into acting and thinking in precisely the ways that makes the problem worse rather than better. It tricks you into using all your personal strengths and intelligence in ways that produce a more chronic and difficult problem, rather than the recovery you seek. It uses your desire to feel “safe” to trick you into staying stuck.” (Emphasis added)

WOW! Dr. Carbonell nailed it. This passage is so powerful to me because it encapsulates how panic attacks work. It shows you how fighting against the panic attack only makes it worse. It is a trick!

So, how do you avoid playing into this trick?

You do it by doing nothing. Just breathe and “float” through the experience. I will discuss breathing a little bit, but right now I want to talk about floating.

Floating is a state of just letting go. You are feeling the discomfort of the panic attack symptoms, but you aren’t doing anything to try to stop them. You accept the discomfort for what it is, and you wait for it to end. You already know that you are going to be okay. You also should have already learned that the panic will eventually end. The great thing is that when you accept the panic attack as discomfort and you know that it won’t hurt you, the panic attacks are much shorter in duration.

After I learned to float through the panic attack, my fear of them began to lessen. I started to see panic attacks for what they truly are: tricks and discomfort.

Reading and learning was key in the process. As I learned more about panic attacks and how they work, my fear gradual began to erode away. I owe much of my success to Dr. Carbonell’s book. I completed the exercises in the book, and learned more about myself and panic attacks. I highly recommend this book.

Breathing was another technique that I learned that had an immediate and lasting impact. Many of the symptoms experienced during panic attacks are a result of shallow, rapid breathing. Learning to breathe from my diaphragm in a slow pattern helped to lessen the symptoms of my panic attacks in a minute or two.

So how should you breathe? Your stomach should move up and down when you breathe, not your chest. You should breathe in through your nose for a count of five, hold your breath for a count of five, and breathe out through your mouth slowly for a

count of five. Different authors and programs give different counts, but the basic pattern is the same. You should breathe slowly in through the nose, hold your breath, and breathe out slowly through the mouth. This is a common theme in basically everything I have come across.

Breathing: The Master Key to Self Healing (The Self Healing Series) by Dr. Andrew Weil was one audio program that helped me with breathing. He has breathing exercises in this program to help relieve stress related problems. He also has breathing exercises for other purposes that I found useful.

Another program (it’s expensive) that I recommend is Lucinda Bassett’s Attacking Anxiety and Depression program. This program discusses breathing, and has guided relaxation meditation that I found very helpful. This program is great because it includes interviews with lots of people who have experienced panic attacks. I found it very useful to hear other people’s stories. It made me feel not so alone. It also gave me the motivation to continue working on my problem.

As my understanding about panic attacks grew my fear decreased. My studies had de-mystified panic attacks, and this gave them less power over me. As my fear decreased, I began to have fewer and fewer panic attacks. As my breathing techniques and “floating” technique improved, I was able to put an end to panic attacks quickly, often before they even started.

After a couple of months I was having no full-blown panic attacks and only slight anxious feelings. I still had my medicine, but I only used it once after I started trying to beat my panic attacks. The occasion I used it on was my grandfather’s funeral. I still, however carried it everywhere I went. I started to see the medicine as a crutch.

I came realize that part of the reason that I felt better was that I had the medicine—my parachute. The first time that I was away from home and realized that I didn’t have my medicine, my anxiety level increased. I started thinking “what if” thoughts. What if I have a panic attack? What if I embarrass myself?

However, I soon realized that it had been months and I had not had a panic attack. Even when I did have panic symptoms now, I was able to control it easily by breathing and not fighting against it. What did I have to worry about? Why did I even need the medicine?

This line of thinking helped me get through the day. This was my first taste of exposure therapy. Exposure therapy is a technique in behavior therapy intended to treat anxiety issues. It involves exposing a patient to the feared object or context, in order to overcome their anxiety.

My exposure therapy session entailed being several hours away from the safety of my medicine. I passed the test, and came to realize that I didn’t need the medicine. Within a month or so I had the realization that I had not had my medicine with me for several straight days. I hadn’t even thought about it. This was a major break-through for me. It was at this point that I truly felt free of my panic-related issues.

In a Nutshell…

I was able to overcome my panic attacks by:

1) Having medicine as a parachute to help me out of any bad situation.

2) Learning about panic attacks. Learning about them de-mystified them, and taught me that they wouldn’t hurt me, that they were only discomfort, and that they were tricking me into responding in ways that only made the problem worse.

3) Learning to let go and float through the experience.

4) Learning to breathe correctly at the first sign of any anxiety symptoms.

5) Doing small tests of exposure therapy to the point that I no longer feared the situations I used to fear, and was able to drop the medicine crutch.

Conclusion

I was able to beat panic attacks, and I am a much better and stronger person for having gone through this experience. I know that what one person can do, another can also do. I know that you can beat panic attacks as well.

Your way to being anxiety-free may be different than mine. My path worked for me. Perhaps there would have been quicker paths. Your path may include therapy or medication management. The important thing is that you make a decision to make a change.

The clichés are all true: You only live once. Life is short. Carpe diem. You only have one shot at this existence that you are in. The years add up quickly, and then you are out of time. Don’t waste your life worrying. Don’t let anxiety steal years from your life. Don’t let panic attacks keep you from fulfilling your potential.

Do something about it. Do anything. Just start, and don’t give up.

I wish you success on your journey.

James Weaver

(Oct. 2013)

Additional Anxiety Resources

Panic Attacks Workbook: A Guided Program for Beating the Panic Trick, by David Carbonell. This book, more than anything else helped me to lose my fear of panic attacks.

Panic Attacks: The New, Drug-Free Anxiety Therapy That Can Change Your Life, by David Burns. This is another great book on how to overcome panic attacks.

http://www.stresscenter.com Homepage of the Midwest Center for Anxiety and Depression. This organization produces Lucinda Bassett’s Attacking Anxiety and Depression program. I have used this product, and it is very effective.

http://www.lindenmethod.com Homepage of the Linden Method. This is a popular method for overcoming anxiety. I have not personally had any experience with this program, but I have heard good things about it.

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A special message from James: If you enjoyed the book, please leave positive feedback. But more importantly, please let me know. You can email me at james@attractionebooks.com. I would love to hear from you, and I will answer any questions you may have. I look forward to your email.

Twitter: JamesWWeaver