BC Parent Holiday Issue

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Engaging thedaydreamer

Evil Elf

WINTERActivity Guide

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bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2014 3

Holiday Issue 2014Volume 23, Number 9

Mail Address: Sasamat RPO 72086 Vancouver, BC V6R 4P2

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Contributors: Tiffany Doer, Christa Meinyk Hines,Malia Jacobsen, Lara Krupicka, Judy M Miller, Pam Molnar, Dr. Beth TaylorBC Parent is published 8 times per year. The Publisher reserves the right to omit advertisingwhich is judged to be in poor taste or which doesnot conform to the concept of this publication. Canadian Publications Mail Registration No.251836

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BC Parent Newsmagazine

4 Making Room for Nothing

6 Parenting a Special Needs Child

8 Evil Elf

18 Engaging the Daydreamer

20 Fertility and PolycysticOvary Syndrome (PCOS)

22 Gift Ideas for Tweens and Teens

10 Parenting a Perfectionist

12 Help Kids Give with Joy

13 Winter Activity Guide

4 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2014

M ost parents have times where they feel like they have to bein multiple places at one time to manage their children’scalendars. But what happens when the imagined need

becomes real?Like a typical mom’s, Hillary Homzie’s schedule for her family

was a house of cards, a careful stacking of one activity on the other.Then one day it came toppling down. A change in plans with a car-pool partner, when all three of her kids had somewhere to be, lefther scrambling. “I remember dropping off one kid at a swim partyand not even being able to have the time to arrange how my fifth-grader got home,” she explains. She herself had to get to a doctor’sappointment where she was diagnosed withmultiple ailments, brought on by stress. It wasthen she realized something had to change.

Homzie’s story may sound extreme, but it’smore normal than many realize. According toa research study conducted at the Uni versity ofMichigan, children experienced a major increasein time spent in structured sports (doubled)between 1981 and 1997. And those numbers continue to rise. Addin a variety of other extracurricular activities available, and you havea recipe for collapse.

Scale Back for BalanceThe solution for the craziness? Scale back. Start by searching forways to leave empty slots on your calendar. Then continue untilyou’ve reached an equilibrium that satisfies your family.

This may sound like a risky proposition. After all, we’re encour-aged to provide our kids with opportunities to learn and grow. Dr.Wendy Grolnick, Professor of Psychology at Clark University andauthor of Pressured Parents, Stressed-out Kids, says “parents feel a lotof pressure to have their children get involved in a lot of activities.

There’s the ramped-up competition. The feeling that they have tobe in sports before they’re five to get in college.”

But can there be too much? Dr. Grolnick notes, “After schoolactivities are wonderful. Research shows kids gain an advantage—they do better in school. Really it’s about finding a balance.”

Anastasia Gavalas, a mother of five, realized this early on beforeher children reached kindergarten. She determined to choose balancefrom the get go. Gavalas says she asked herself, “How can I structuremy life so it supports what I believe in my heart?” The answer camein a move from a busy Long Island suburb to the laid-back lifestyle ofThe Hamptons. “I recognized that the competitiveness is not what

life is all about. Parents are so fear-based. Wethink if we don’t give our kids every experiencethey will miss out or fall behind.”

Homzie’s solution to her crazy schedule wasto limit her children’s activities. “I just decidedthat each kid could only do two activities.That’s it. So even if they loved something theyhad to drop it. I had my kids rank their activi-

ties.” Her middle child’s schedule was reduced the most, from sixdifferent activities, most of them two and three times weekly, totwo activities. Instead, he found ways to enjoy things like tennis ina casual setting, rather than competitively.

Talk it OutHow can you go about freeing up time in your child’s life? Dr.Grolnick advocates talking it out. “I recommend sitting downtogether with your kids (depending on their age) and picking theactivity they love the most. Negotiate how many times a week.”

Take the time to listen and understand why your children wantto do the things they do. See if they can find the enjoyment of somescheduled activities through a more unstructured means. Offer to

Making Room

Take the time to listen and understand why yourchildren want to do the

things they do.


join them. Homzie’s former tennis-playing son now finds time onthe court with his dad or a friend.

According to Dr. Grolnick, the amount of sustainable activitywill vary by child and family. It’s not about a set number of activi-ties, rather, it’s about that issue of balance. “Some families are in abunch of activities and are thriving,” she explains.

And as Gavalas learned, a balanced life is an intentional life.Evaluate your priorities. Probe to find your children’s priorities. Thenorganize your calendar around those. “Taking stock and evaluatingafter a season is better than signing up wildly. At that point, parentscan realistically talk about what the kids can manage,” says Gavalas.

Enjoy the DowntimeThe results are priceless. Homzie noticed the change in her highlyactive middle son. “Now he’s seeing the light and is talking aboutthe need to have downtime. He’s no longer asking me if he can dofencing or whatever sport is next on his list.”

Gavalas’s family is also enjoying the quieter lifestyle. Her eldestdaughter volunteers at a horse farm. Her second daughter attends adance class twice a week. And her sons play two sports each. Theyhave more time for playing and being outside.

Which can be unusual these days. According to the University ofMichigan study, children’s time spent in unstructured outdooractivities, such as walking, hiking or camping, fell by 50% over theperiod of the study. Regaining this freedom is priceless.

Homzie agrees. “Our life is still busy, but there are afternoons when,as a family, we can go for an adventure walk to the top of the smallmountain where we live. And the children can actually jump on ourtrampoline and swing on the swings—in their own backyard!”

Where many people see a slower schedule as a loss of opportuni-ty, Dr. Grolnick notes that it can actually open doorways to oppor-tunity. “Kids will find their passion if they have the space,” says Dr.

for Nothing by Lara Krupicka

Grolnick. “If they’re too scheduled they don’t have the space to findwhat will hook them. If you have to push them to do things theydon’t feel good about, it’s counterproductive. If you give them spacethey will gravitate toward something.”

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Fine” is a relative term. Any parent of a child with specials needswill tell you that. “Fine” is a day that is fairly calm, withoutoutbursts, temper tantrums, and sensory drama.

“Fine” is when a parent’s well of patience and emotion are notdepleted within hours of waking, a day when she is not on the vergeof tears, has no more to cry, or tiptoes on the edge of losing it.

I know this because I am the parent of a child with special needs.Countless times I was judged and questioned about my parent-

ing decisions, by those who know or do not know my child or me.Their responses ranged from a non-verbal scoff or stare of disbeliefto a verbal comment like, “Is she okay?”

And I replied with embarrassment, anger, a need to protect mychild, and a desire to draw into myself and disappear, “She’s fine.”

She was, but only I knew that. I spent innumerable dedicatedhours, days, weeks, and years with my daughter and her occupa-tional therapist (OT) while we unlocked the spectrum disorder that

cocooned my girl and shut her away from herself, her family, therest of the world, and me.

It used to be that my daughter regularly threw herself on thehardest surface available without warning in order to receive senso-ry input for her disconnected vestibular system. She lay therescreaming and crying at the top of her lungs as she cycled throughher process into a calm state. She got up afterwards and acted as ifnothing unusual had happened; she flooded during the meltdownhad no memory of what had occurred. Sometimes the cycle lasted15 minutes, but more often than not it was far longer.

I learned to wait patiently and calmly, and to keep a large bufferof time between errands, commitments, and attending to my otherkids. I learned that there was nothing I could do to reach mydaughter until she came out on the other end.

The painful input made my daughter “fine,” until the next time.Somehow she never bruised from hurling herself onto the pave-

Parenting a child with

special needs?

Educate yourself about yourchild’s special needs.Knowledge provides under-standing. I found that the moreI learned about my child’s spe-cial needs the more confidentI felt about how to help hercope, handle situations, andadvocate for her. I was a moreeffective caregiver.

Consider therapy for yourself.You need to be as healthy asyou can for your child. Youcan feel a whole range ofemotions—anger, fear, and

uncertainty among them. Youremotions are normal.

Get support.Develop or join a network ofparents who have childrenwith special needs. Or ask yourchild’s occupational therapistor physician for ideas or con-tacts. Many parents of chil-dren with special needs sharethat they feel isolated.

Ask for help.Tell your spouse/partner/signifi-cant other and friends howyou feel.You are the primary

caregiver, and parenting achild with special needs isemotionally and physicallytaxing. Others probably don’thave any idea how you arefeeling. Tell them how theycan help you, like watchingyour child so that you havetime to replenish yourself oroffering a listening ear.

Cry.Stress hormones, found intears, negatively affect everysystem and organ in thehuman body. Crying provides

health by eliminating harmfulstress hormones. Haven’t youfound that you feel relief aftera good cry?

Give yourself personal time.Walk, write in a journal, or par-ticipate in an activity youenjoy. Every day.

Take care of you.Make sure you are eating foodthat is healthy, drinking plentyof water, exercising, and get-ting plenty of sleep.

What You Can Do for Yourself

By Judy M. Miller

You have specialneeds, too!


ment. But I did, again and again-deep raw pain and a throbbingchasm of apprehension that did not begin to dissipate until Carolcame into our lives.

Carol was my daughter’s OT and she helped my daughter rein-tegrate her sensory system over a period of six years. My daughter’ssensory processing system was completely out of sync, exhibitingdifficulties with the tactile (touch), vestibular (movement), and pro -prioceptive (positioning) senses and responding with a combinationof hyper- and hyposensitivity. These sensory difficulties affect ed herspeech, hearing and sight as well.

In her infinite wisdom, Carol sat me down one day and gave mea stern talking-to. She pointed out that as my daughter’s systembecame healthier she became manipulative. And although that wasa good sign, a milestone, it was time for me to expect more, to stopenabling my daughter’s behaviour.

Carol went on to say that as the parent of a child with specialneeds I had special needs too. I needed to look out for and take careof myself. The veneer of my brave face cracked with that simplestatement. Tears coursed down my cheeks and the old-as-timemama-guilt loosened its hold on me.

In that moment I realized my mother-love had pushed me to thebackground. I rarely thought of my needs or myself. I was emotion-ally spent.

I thought back to how often I felt isolated. My emotionalexhaustion took a toll on my health and on my relationships withother family members and close friends. I had let parenting a childwith special needs consume me, and it had been easy because I hadso much love invested in her.

Today I hold Carol’s sage advice within the invisible pocket ofmy heart and take heed when I need to. I search for compassion,not pity, understanding, and support, in the form of comfort and alistening ear. And my daughter? She has become even healthierbecause I have chosen to take care of my needs.

Judy M. Miller works with pre- and adoptive parents, equipping them with new techniques andinformation and encouraging and empowering adoptive families through difficult times. She is aCertified Gotten Educator and the author of the internationally known parent guide, What to expectFrom Your Adopted Tween, and a workbook for adopted adults, Writing to Heal Adoption Grief:Making Connections & Moving Forward.

Sensory Processing Disorder, previously known as Sensory Integration DysfunctionProper sensory integration involves the neurological process-ing of information that is received by an individual’s bodyand the environment. The sensory processing disorder (SPD) isa spectrum disorder, meaning that it has a wide range anddistribution of symptoms. SPD occurs when the brain cannotmodulate the reciprocal process of intake/organization/output flow of the sensory information that it is receiving andtherefore, the body’s activity level.

SPD Resources and Support:SPD Foundation, http://spdfoundation.net/about-sensory-

processing-disorder.htmlThe Out-of-Sync Child, Carol Kranowitz (my “bible”)The Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun, Revised Edition: Activities for

Kids with Sensory Processing Disorder, Carol KranowitzThe Sensory Child Gets Organized: Proven Systems for Rigid,

Anxious, or Distracted Kids, Carolyn DalglieshSensational Journeys: 48 Personal Stories of Sensory

Processing Disorder, edited by Hartley Steiner

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elf is naughty,” my son said. “His elf drew mustaches on the familypicture this morning. They found him with a marker in his hand!”

“Yeah!” said my middle child, picking up the story. “AndIsabelle’s elf threw toilet paper all over the bathroom!”

“Well, those elves are obviously not setting a good example,” Ihuffed. “The book says he watches over you and reports to Santa.Period.”

I adamantly refuse to invent any elf hi jinks! I thought.Each night, I waited until the kids were asleep, then I moved the

elf to a new spot. I put him by the bookshelf to remind them toread, and in each child’s bedroom in turn so that they would stay inbed. Unfortun ately, I also repeated the bathroom sink, once againfreaking my oldest out. It was exhausting.

By the fifteenth, Christmas Chaos was in full swing and theinevitable happened. I forgot to move the elf. That morning, as Iclutched my coffee cup in one hand while pouring cereal with theother, I heard, “Hey, the elf is in the same spot as yesterday!”

Crap! “Maybe he was tired?” I ventured.My middle child pointed a finger at the youngest. “You touched

him, didn’t you!” she accused. “Mommy!” she yelled. “He made theelf lose his magic!”

“What?” I asked, befuddled and barely awake. “What do youmean?”

“Mommy,” she said with exaggerated patience. “The book saysif a kid touches the elf he loses his magic.” A lone tear ran down herchubby little cheek. “CHRISTMAS IS RUINED!”

The oldest jumped in. “Are you sure you didn’t touch him?” sheasked the middle child. At this point, both of the younger kids werecrying, all three were fighting, and we hadn’t even had breakfast yet.

“I know!” I exclaimed. “Maybe the elf forgot to reset his watchto Seattle time. He’s still on North Pole time!”

H e seemed rather innocuous when we received him. A littleguy in a red suit sat in a festive green gift box, ac companiedby a picture book. I read aloud from the book about our Elf

on the Shelf as I cuddled with the kids in our big, comfy chair. I’msure we looked just like the ideal family in the picture from aChristmas card.

I held the little elf with the strangely boneless body, gazing intohis hard plastic face. According to the book, the elf would watchover my kiddos and remind them to be good throughout themonth of Dec ember. At night he would fly back to the North Poleand report the children’s behaviour to Santa Claus. Then, in themorning when the little ones awoke, he would be in a differentplace in the house. He might be in the bathroom to make sure thatthey brush their teeth, for example. Or perhaps he would double asthe dining room table’s centerpiece, making note of who ate theirveggies. This passive bribery seemed like a good idea at the time.Anything to get through the Christmas season. But I had no ideawhat horrors the next days would bring.

On December first, the children happily greeted the little elf ashe sat on the top of the TV. I’d placed him there the night before toremind them of their screen-time limits—a major point of con-tention between parent and children. To my amazement, that after-noon, they obediently turned off the TV when I asked—the firsttime. All was well. That night I moved the elf to the kids’ bathroomand left him perched on the sink. My oldest was a little creeped out.Was he watching her go potty? But the younger ones brushed theirteeth with extra care. On the third day, I felt especially clever whenI tied the elf ’s floppy red legs in a bow and hung him upside downfrom the coat rack, to remind the kids to hang their jackets insteadof leaving them puddled on the floor. I was feeling pretty proud ofmyself. That is, until my youngest came home from school.

“Our elf is boring!” he exclaimed. Confused, I asked why. “Johnnie’s

Evil ElfBy Tiffany Doer


“But he’s not wearing a watch,” my youngest sniffed.“I meant his internal clock!” I said, desperately. “I’ll bet when

you get home from school he will have moved.”I managed to calm everyone down, and when the kids arrived

home that afternoon, the elf had indeed moved to a different view-ing area. Crisis averted. Or so I thought.

“Janie’s elf baked her cookies!” my daughter reported onSaturday morning.

“Yeah,” my son added. “And Joseph’s elf wrote him a note!”“Sophie’s elf used garland as a zip line!” my oldest chimed in.What the heck? I thought. That wasn’t in the book.That night, I researched Elf on the Shelf ideas in the Internet. My

mouth fell open as I perused Pinterest. I scrolled through picturesof elves wearing tiny little homemade clothes, creating ediblebracelets made with cereal, having marshmallow snowball fightswith Barbie, and decorating everything from the house to the tree.My anger grew.

I held the elf in my fist, the cheap fabric on his body alreadypilling. Whose idea was this? Like I didn’t have enough on my platewith the decorating, shopping, wrapping and other items on myever-expanding Christmas To-Do list! Now I was supposed to notonly remember to move the stupid elf each night, but also set up lit-tle elf tableaus.

Oh, I’ll do something creative with our elf, I fumed. Like put himthrough the paper shredder. Or perhaps he could bungee jump with acandy cane and a licorice stick into the burning flames of the fireplace!

That night, instead of sugar plums dancing through my head, I

dreamed of evil elves stomping on my Christmas dreams.A few nights later, my youngest walked in and saw the elf lying

face down on the rug. I’d tossed him there after realizing I’d run outof ideas. And besides—I swear he was mocking me.

“Elf hurt?” my son asked, his lower lip quivering.“No, baby,” I soothed. “The elf is just taking a break!” Then I

patted my baby’s head, gave him a drink and sent him to bed. I wasstarting to empathize with the Grinch. Only instead of my heartgrowing three sizes, it was shrinking.

I started marking the days of the calendar with big, red “Xs.”The kids thought I was marking the days until Christmas, but I wasreally counting down until I could get rid of the little red bastard.My husband accused me of getting “obsessed.” He was right.

We made it through December twenty-fifth with the elf doingnothing more exciting than sitting around, much to my children’sdisappointment. Immediately after Christmas, I wrapped thedemon elf in the crumpled wrapping paper and disposed of his bodyin the bottom of the trash can. It had to be done. I didn’t know whatI would tell the kids, but I had eleven months to think about it. Atleast for the time being, the elf was dispatched and all was well.

On January sixth, a package arrived. My youngest recognized hisname on the packing label, and tore into the box before I had achance to look it over. I opened the card he had tossed aside, andread it as he ripped open the box.

“I saw this cute little guy, and I just couldn’t resist!” read the notefrom my aunt. “I’ll bet your kids will have so much fun with… ”

“Mommy!” he exclaimed. “It’s another Elf on the Shelf!”

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mistakes are our friends. We learn fromthem.”

Kelly Arabie, a mom of two, works topass this attitude along to her kids. “Thefaith journey I’ve been on has taught methat life is very much a process and that I’mnot going to be perfect as long as I’m living.It’s a gift I can give my children to be able toshare that with them.”

Occasionally point out a mistake youmade to your child. Talk about the out-come—that it didn’t derail life and that itdoesn’t reflect poorly on you. Explain whatyou’ll do to correct the mistake or what youplan to do differently the next time. Letyour child see you learn from your mistake.

This goes for owning up to imperfectparenting too. Allowing your child to letyou off the hook for a mistake made towardhim helps him develop a tolerance andcompassion toward others’ blunders. It canalso help him understand that others willwant to show the same compassion for hiserrors. Ultimately he’ll learn to be compas-sionate toward himself.

Focus on the Process Not the OutcomePerfectionists tend to be most concernedabout the end product. Oftentimes a perfec-tionist will redo work over and over in anattempt to achieve a flawless result. But theymiss the enjoyment of learning along the way.

Kathryn Johnson’s son, Alex, is a hard-working student who takes this approach.“I see him striving to do his best,” she says.“But it borders on constant dissatisfaction.He always thinks, ‘I can do better.’”

Unfortunately, these children don’talways gain much for their efforts: a YorkUniversity study of elementary and middle-school students found that perfectionistsdidn’t score any better than their peers.

But don’t tell a perfectionist that. Theircompetitive nature will only push themharder toward the goal of doing better thanothers. Of course, as Dr. Grolnick pointsout, our outcome-based academic cultureisn’t helping them any either.

“There’s more competition than everbefore. There’s more stress on grades andstandardized test scores. It is a setup for kidsfocusing on outcomes.”

Parents can help by encouraging the childto recognize his growth and what he haslearned from an assignment or task. Insteadof asking ‘what grade did you get’ ask ‘what

C lothes having to match. Toys arrang -ed in neat rows. Outbursts over notbeing able to get a task right the first

time. These behaviours can indicate to par-ents that they may have a perfectionist ontheir hands, for better or worse. Perfect -ionists have high standards. Perfectionistscan be driven to achieve. But they can alsoget tied up in knots over their expectationsof themselves. And as psychologist Made -line Levine suggests in her book Teach YourChildren Well, performance-oriented chil-dren, “are so afraid of failing that they chal-lenge themselves far less, take fewer risks,and therefore limit opportunities for growth.”

How can parents recognize a perfection-ist tendency in their child? And whatactions can they take to help their child do

their best without getting hung up on“best” never being good enough? A fewexperts and moms offer their advice:

Model Making MistakesThe truth is, as adults we can also strugglewith setting our standards too high for our-selves, and our children. We may not han-dle our own failure well, unwittinglycom municating a negative attitude towardmistakes. Instead we can help our childrenby admitting our own behaviour needs anadjustment.

“You don’t want to stress that childrenshouldn’t make mistakes in the first place,”says Dr. Wendy Grolnick, psychologist andauthor of Pressured Parents, Stressed-OutKids. “You want to have the attitude that

Parenting a PerfectionistBy Lara Krupicka


“A lot of it was encouraging him to stopworking on something,” she says. “We hadto help him realize that at some point he’dwreck his work in trying to fix it.”

Letting go has been central in his adjust-ments. And learning to pick a stopping point.Otherwise, as she puts it, “where does it end?”

Try setting a deadline for completing atask. Use a timer during homework.

Parents may also find their child lettingnatural deadlines speed up their work—pro crastination can be common amongperfectionists. For a procrastinator, chunkpro jects into smaller pieces and set mini-deadlines for achieving each of those chunks.

Perfectionists also need to learn to livewith their own limits. This means acknowl-edging that the ideal in their head may notbe possible in this world. A good phrase toteach a perfectionist to say to himself is:“This is the best I can do for now,” promot-ing the idea that improvement is alwayspossible.

Validate the Child for Who He IsParents can inadvertently communicate thatthey value accomplishment and results, what

did you learn about today,’ or ‘what stoodout from the unit you just completed.’

“I would like to see learning as a lifetimeprocess and help my children to see that aswell,” says Arabie.

Which makes it important for parents totalk about what they’re learning too.Children appreciate seeing that mom anddad, who they might think know it all, arestill acquiring knowledge and skills. Andthey’re still enjoying the act of learning itself.

A focus on outcomes also plays out in anaversion to challenges. Perfectionists willstick with tasks they’re sure to completewell, instead of delving into new territory.It’s up to parents to notice this behaviourand assist their child in combating it.

Dr. Levine notes, “The best way we canhelp our children welcome challenges is toencourage them to work just outside theircomfort zone, stand by to lend a hand whenneeded, and model enthusiasm for chal-lenging tasks.”

Live with LimitsJohnson found it helped her son when sheset limits for completing tasks.

Grolnick calls “contingent parental regard”by giving more attention when a child per-forms well, and less when they don’t. It’seasy to slip into when we want to praise achild for work well done. But it can workagainst us when the child associates thepraise with being valued for what they do.

Let your child know your love is uncon-ditional. Be vocal about it.

Grolnick says parents should tell theirkids, “You’re no less loved if you don’t dosomething perfectly.”

Arabie echoes this in how she talks withher children. She’ll tell them, “I love you forwho you are and not what you do.”

It may take being specific, such as tellingyour child that it’s okay that they struggle ina certain area or that a B or C grade is just fine.

As you implement any or all of thesestrategies remember: parenting any child,perfectionist or not, is an imperfect jobdone by imperfect people. Which makeseach of us practically perfect for doing it.

Lara Krupicka is a freelance writer, mom to three girls andsometimes perfectionist herself.

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giving gifts to others, says parent educatorand mom of five Vicki Hoefle, author ofDuct Tape Parenting. With a still-under-construction sense of empathy, young chil-dren simply don’t yet understand the joy ofgiving, because they can’t conceptualizeothers’ feelings.

Adults can help tots learn to enjoy givinggifts as much as they enjoy receiving them,though. “If young children watch impor-tant adults in their lives give gifts with joy,over time they will begin to model thisbehaviour,” says Hoefle. And don’t repri-mand a young child who tries to help youopen a gift from him. Including the child inthe gift-opening experiencing allows him toexperience the joy of giving with an impor-tant adult in his life. Eventually, he’ll beginto understand the sincere joy of giving ameaningful gift to someone he cares about.

Elementary years 6–12: Give and takeAs school-age kids become more aware ofand interested in material possessions, par-ents can take steps to prevent an avalanche

P arenthood gives the term “generosity”a whole new meaning, especiallyaround the holidays. As parents, we

enjoy giving to our children (even when itinvolves building a three-level dollhousewith a working elevator at 12:47 a.m. onDecember 25). But our children may notalways receive gifts with grace, or give witha generous spirit. Here’s an age-by-age guideto raising kids who give from the heart.

Preschool years 2–5: Gift wrapDon’t expect toddlers and preschoolers toenjoy the annual ritual of shopping for and

of “I want!” from burying the entire season.When kids start dreaming up their ownmost-wanted gift list, promote a balancedsense of give-and-take by asking kids towrite down what they plan to give to others,enlisting siblings in “secret” missions touncover a brother or sister’s toy wishes, andasking kids to help plan a homemade holi-day gift to give to neighbors and teachers.

As school friendships blossom, holidaygifting can stir up hurt feelings—who hasn’texperienced the embarrassment of a one-sided gift exchange? If a child gives a gift toa friend but doesn’t receive one in return,embrace the teachable moment, says Greens -boro, North Carolina parent coach AuriaChamberlain, LCSW. “Begin with an opendialogue with the child, and acknowledgefeelings of being upset. Help your childremember the joy she gets from the friend-ship, and remind her that a present isn’tgiven with an expectation of getting oneback.”

Teen years 13–18: Giving spiritTeens can and should take responsibility forplanning and buying gifts with their ownmoney, says Hoefle. In fact, doing so is cen-tral to becoming mature, thoughtful givers.Paying for the gifts teens give others, micro-managing what they buy, or simply writingtheir name on a present they had no part inpicking out undermines their investment—and enjoyment—in the holiday season.

Volunteering with teens is a fun, mean-ingful way to shift the holiday spotlight offgifts and onto helping others. A teen canhelm an “adopt a family” project at home,school, or church, or help bake cookies orsort clothes and toys to donate to a localshelter. Teens can plan a day to prepare holi-day cards and care packages for overseasmilitary or less-fortunate members of theirlocal community, says Chaimberlain. “Giv -ing to charity weaves a deeper meaning intothe holidays, and helps kids appreciate allthey’ve been given, whether the gifts are bigor small.”

Enjoy the Present: Help Kids Give withJoy

Malia Jacobson is a nationally published journalist andmom of three. Her latest book is Sleep Tight, Every Night:Helping Toddlers and Preschoolers Sleep Well Without Tears,Tricks, or Tirades.

By Malia Jacobson

If young children watch important adults in theirlives give gifts with joy,

over time they will beginto model this behaviour.


winteractivityguide

Anna Wyman School of Dance Arts604/926-6535, West Van

The Arts Connection604/241-0141, Richmondwww.theartsconnection.ca

Arts Umbrella604/681-5268www.artsumbrella.com

AUUC School of Dance604/254-3436danceschool@auucvancouver.cawww.auucvancouver.caExperience for yourself the joy andartistry of Ukrainian dance! Quality &creative instruction in Folk-Stage,Ballet & Contemporary Dance. 85 years of arts programs reflecting amodern multicultural experience. Ages 3 to adult.

Dance Co604/736-3394, [email protected] Co provides unparalleled dancetraining for all ages and levels.Providing technique and performancewhile developing confidence and cre-ativity. Programs start throughout theyear, for more information visit ourwebsite.

Dance Expressions604/574-2277, Surreywww.dancexp.com

Douglas Ballet Academy604/420-0204, Vancouverwww.douglasballet.homestead. com

Academy of International DanceArts604/327-9313www.academyofinternationaldancearts.com

Gabriela’s Movement Studio604/[email protected]

Goh Ballet Academy604/[email protected] institute of provincialchampions in the Junior, Intermediate& Senior levels as well as InternationalGold Medal Award Recipients. Well balanced curriculum, RADexaminations & extensive performance opportunities.

hz Ballet Classique604/299-9698, Burnabywww.balletclassique.com

Just for Kicks School of Dance604/596-4161, Surrey

North Shore Academy of Dance604/987-3814

Northwest Academy of Performing Arts604/306-7390www.NAPAdance.com

Pacific Dance Arts604/738-8575www.pacificdancearts.ca

Place des Arts Centre & MusicSchool604/664-1636, Coquitlamwww.placedesarts.caPlace des Arts provides a warm, friendly learning environment whereexperienced, caring teachers offerinstruction in the visual, performingand literary arts for all ages and abili-ties. Ongoing lessons in music anddance run Sep to Jun, as do our youth(13–17 years) pre-professional Theatre

and Musical Theatre Companies; session classes in music, dance, theatre,visual art and creative writing run fall,winter and spring.

Port Moody School of Dance604/936-0966www.portmoodydance.com

Surrey Dance Centre604/599-9961www.surreydancecentre.com

The Landing Dance Centre604/325-8653www.thelandingdance.com

Tri-City Dance Centre604/523-6868, Coquitlamwww.tricitydance.com

Unhinge Dance778/[email protected]

Vancouver Tap Dance Society604/253-0293www.vantapdance.bc.ca

Vancouver Academy of Dance604/231-8293www.vancouverdance.comVancouver Academy of Dance offerssummer dance camps in ballet,jazz/lyrical, tap, hip hop, acrobatics,ballroom and Chinese Dance at theirmain location in Richmond.

Westside Dance Centre Ltd604/736-1000www.westsidedance.caWe offer great classes in Tap, Jazz,Ballet and Hip hop for kids as youngas 3 years old, right up to adults.

musicAllegro Music School Inc.604/327-7765, Vancouver

Arbutus Music Academy604/736-8767www.arbutusmusicacademy.com

danceA-Star Performing & Fine Arts Studio604/266-3053, Vancouverwww.astarstudio.com

Al Mozaico Flamenco Dance Academy604/671-9182, Vancouverwww.mozaicoflamenco.com


winter activity guide

The Arts Connection604/241-0141, Richmondwww.theartsconnection.ca

BC Conservatory of Music604/299-2984, Burnabywww.bcmusic.ca

BC Registered Music Teachers Assoc.604/733-5531www.bcrmta.bc.caVisit our website to find a qualifiedregistered music teacher. Be assured ofknowledgeable, competent and qualified instruction.

Campos Music604/325-0480

Carillon Music604/591-1161www.carillonmusic.com

Colourstrings Music Studio604/730-5418, Vancouverwww.colourstringsvan.com

Delta Community Music School604/946-1280, Delta

Dominanta Music School604/767-0949, Burnabywww.dominanta.ca

Jean Lyons School of Music604/734-4019www.jeanlyonsmusic.com

Jumpstart Music & Movement604/777-7179www.jumpstartmusicandmovement.com

Langley Community Music School604/534-2848www.langleymusic.com

Long & McQuade Music EducationCentreswww. long-mcquade.com

Music for Young Children800/828-4334www.myc.com

Music Teachers on the Go778/882-7603info@musicteachersonthego.comwww.musicteachersonthego.com

North Shore Music Academy604/925-3403, North Van

Noteworthy Music604/270-3620, Richmond

Oakridge Music Studio604/321-1551www.omusicstudios.com

Pacific Academy for Music604/944-0336, Port Coquitlamwww.musicinstructor.net

Pacific Piano Studio604/329-7290

Place des Arts Art Centre & Music School604/664-1636www.placedesarts.caPlace des Arts provides a warm, friendly learning environment whereexperienced, caring teachers offerinstruction in the visual, performingand literary arts for all ages and abili-ties. Ongoing lessons in music anddance run Sep. to June, as do ouryouth (13–17 years) pre-professionalTheatre and Musical TheatreCompanies; session classes in music,dance, theatre, visual art and creativewriting run fall, winter and spring.

Prussin Music604/736-3036www.prussinmusic.comPrussin Music has been serving familiessince 1985. We offer instrument sales,

rentals, repairs & lessons. Our teachersare enthusiastic and active in Vancou -ver’s musical community. We have les-sons for all levels and all ages includingsummer camps and Suzuki classes.

Richmond Community Music School604/272-5227, Richmondwww.richmondmusicschool.ca

School of Music and Dance604/951-3725, Surrey

Shadbolt Centre for the Arts604/291-6864, Burnaby

Staccato Music Studios604/421-3753www.staccatostudios.com

Steveston Music Centre604/271-3545, Steveston

Tom Lee Music604/685-8471, Vancouverwww.tomleemusic.caAt Tom Lee Music Learning Centre,you can enjoy excellent music educa-tion in a fun community atmos-phere. Students of all ages cometogether for a positive music makingexperience at our 7 key and satellitelocations in Vancouver, plus 2 onVancouver Island. To register, pleasecall 604.688.8929. Email: [email protected]

20years

email: [email protected] 604.736.3394154-4255 Arbutus St, Vancouver

Classical Ballet Contemporary Lyrical Jazz Broadway Hip Hop Acro Tap

Dance Co provides unparalleled dance training programs for all ages and levels.

Professional Half-Day Program Auditions January 18th, 2015

recreational/competitive/professional

Visit us at danceco.com to check out our new programs and spring break camps or to

enquire about our year round intake options!

Eastside/Westside, Richmond, Surrey,Coquitlam, Langley, Victoria

Surrey Art Gallery604/501-5566

Vancouver Film School604/685-5808

Vancouver Youth Theatre604/877-0678; www.vyt.ca

In-Studio Art Classes/Marta Roberson Smyth604/254-0961www.martademaria.comMentoring children from six to sixteenwith personalised instruction in smallgroups.

JCC Performing Arts School604/257-5111, Vancouver

Performing & Fine Arts Studio604/266-3053, N. Vancouver

Place des Arts604/664-1636www.placedesarts.ca

Rainbow Art School Ltd.604/[email protected]

Shadbolt Centre for the Arts604/291-6864, Burnaby

StageCoach Theatre Arts Schools1-877-787-8243www.stagecoachschools.ca Sing, Dance, Act! For 4–18 yr olds.The world’s largest part-time theatreschool network, with weekend schoolsacross the Lower Mainland. We offerclasses in Singing, Dancing and Dramaevery weekend alongside the schoolterm as well as week long summercamps. Building confidence in youngpeople since 1988! Come join the fun!Schools are located in Vancouver

Western Conservatory of Music604/530-0317, White Rock

performing & visual artsThe Arts Connection604/241-0141, Richmondwww.theartsconnection.ca

Arts Umbrella604/681-5268www.artsumbrella.com For more than 35 years, Arts Umbrellahas proudly provided high quality edu-cation in visual, media and performingarts to children and youth throughoutMetro Vancouver. Classes available forages 2–19. Join our community whereart comes alive!

Artspace Children’s Arts Centrewww.artspaceforchildren.com

Carousel Theatre for Young People604/669-3410 www.carouseltheatre.ca

CircusWest604/252-3679www.circuswest.com

E.J.S. School of Fine Arts604/596-4883

Gateway Theatre604/247-4975www.gatewaytheatre.com

Vancouver Academy of Music604/734-2301www.vam.bc.ca Kodaly and Orff musicianship classes.Suzuki violin, viola, piano, cello, andflute. Piano group class (ages 4–9).Ballet (ages 31/2–18). RCM music his-tory and theory. Private instruction inpiano, classical guitar, band andorchestral instruments.

Vancouver Children’s Choir604/682-3838www.vancouverchildrenschoir.caLove to sing? Vancouver Children’sChoir auditioning now! Girls 8–16,Boys 8–12. Call for an appointment.

VSO School of Music604/915-9300www.vsoschoolofmusic.ca The VSO School of Music offers:Joyful music learning and playing forall ages and abilities; Early years pro-grams starting from 3 months old;Private lessons in classical, jazz andworld music; Ensembles, masterclassesand performance opportunities;Exclusive association with theVancouver Symphony Orchestra; and flexible payment options.

The Violin ABC’s778/896-5729www.violin-abc.com



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specialtyBricks 4 Kidz778/822-5672www.bricks4kidz.com/vancouver Bricks 4 Kidz® provides programs thatinspire kids to learn about architecture,engineering and design concepts whilehaving fun building with LEGO®

bricks. Now offering After SchoolEnrichment Classes, Camps andBirthday Parties. Ages 5–12.

Christianne’s Lyceum of Literatureand Art604/733-1356www.christiannehayward.comThe Lyceum encourages young peopleto see themselves as readers, writersand artists as they engage with abstractideas and reflect on their own place insociety. Programs include: bookclubs,writers’ workshops, literature and artclasses and holiday and summer camps.

The Dizzy Whisk – Cooking Classesfor Kids778/998-3530 www.dizzywhisk.com

Kimiko’s Japanese Kitchen604/727-5331www.kimikoskitchen.com

MENDMEND is a 10-week family-based education program designed to help

children ages 7–13 who are above ahealthy weight and their families getfitter, healthier and happier. It is a freeprogram starting in September. Pleasevisit www.bchealthykids.ca for a loca-tion near you.

Sewing with Frances604/433-1030www.francessewingschool.com

Vancouver Aquarium604/659-FISH www.vanaqua.org

sportsAquaventures Swim Centre604/736-SWIMwww.aquaventuresswim.comAward-winning program in tropicalwarm water.

Atlantis Programs 604/874-6464, Vancouverwww.atlantisprograms.com

Club Aviva604/526-4464, Coquitlamwww.clubaviva.citysoup.ca

Dynamo Swim Club778/866-6604www.dynamoswimclub.net

The Edge Climbing Centre604/984-9080www.edgeclimbing.com

Jump! Gymnastics604/568-9690www.jumpgymnastics.ca

Kids in Motion604/970-7945www.kids-inmotion.ca

Langley Gymnastics Foundation604/532-1022www.langleygymnastics.org

The Little Gym of Langley604/539-2543www.thelittlegym.com

Marina’s Swim School604/818-4650www.marinaswimschool.com

North Shore Equestrian Centre604/988-5131www.wecreateriders.com

Quantum Gymnastics Centre604/465-9293, Maple Ridgewww.quantumgym.com

RBL Basketball604/269-0221 or 604/253-5295www.RBLBasketball.caInstructional programs, leagues, holi-day camps for boys and girls fromKindergarten to Grade 10.

Richmond Gymnastics Association604/278-3614www.richmondgymnastics.com

Richmond Olympic Oval778/296-1400wwwrichmondoval.caVisit our website for details about ourprograms.

Sportball604/688-3157www.sportball.ca Sportball is a non-competitive sportsprogram for children 16 months to 12years. Children are introduced to eightpopular sports: soccer, hockey, football,basketball, baseball, volleyball, tennisand golf. Sportball offers weekly pro-grams, outdoor soccer, camps duringschool holidays, and birthday parties.Come try a free trial class! See ourwebsite for a location near you.

UBC Gymnastics604/822-0207

Vancouver Phoenix Gymnastics604/737-7693www.phoenixgymnastics.com

White Rock Gymnastics604/542-0386www.whiterockgymnastics.com

Visit www.bcparent.caRead our new blogs… catch

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Le français au CSF, c’est bien plus qu’une langue !

Inscrivez votre enfant dans une des écoles publiques du CSF ! Depuis sa création en 1995, le Conseil scolaire francophone de la Colombie-Britannique offre des programmes et des services éducatifs valorisant le plein épanouissement et l’identité culturelle des apprenantes et apprenants francophones de la province. Le conseil compte aujourd’hui plus de 4 700 élèves, 37 écoles publiques et dessert plus d’une centaine de communautés réparties dans l’ensemble de la province.

▪ programme d’enseignement public de la maternelle à la 12e année;▪ services à la petite enfance;▪ service de transport scolaire;▪ programme d’anglais de qualité;

▪ haut niveau de réussite scolaire; ▪ portables pour tous;▪ programmes de musique, théâtre.

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The ability to learn languages is highest between birth and age 6. Our French-English preschool program maximizes a child’s natural curiosity and ability to learn a second language during this important window of opportunity.

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CELEBRATING OVER 50 YEARS OF EXCELLENCE

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hen my son’s second grade teacher told methat he often appeared to “check out” duringthe school day, I was concerned. But I wasn’t

entirely surprised that my imaginative child woulddrift off to his dream world, an infinitely more color-ful place than a math facts worksheet. Nonetheless,his daydreaming needed to be addressed.

While many dreamers are creative and bright chil-dren, they may have trouble getting work done dur-ing the school day, struggle with paying attention tothe teacher and forget to turn in homework. Worse,they can easily get pegged as slackers.

“The tendency to daydream—though it may beone symptom of Attention Deficit Disorder—doesnot automatically equal a problem with paying atten-tion when necessary or completing tasks,” writesAmy Fries, author of Daydreams at Work: Wake UpYour Creative Powers. “A child who enjoys daydream-ing could well be a budding scientist, writer, artist orvisionary entrepreneur.”

Because daydreams play an important role in a

child’s social-emotional development and creativity,you wouldn’t want to quash a child’s imagination.Rather, the goal is to help him channel the behaviourto more appropriate times of the day.

Daydreaming isn’t uncommon. A study conductedby Harvard psychologists found that we tend to day-dream about 47 percent of the time. Some of oursociety’s most innovative change makers, artists andinventors like Thomas Edison, Mark Twain andAlbert Einstein were famous daydreamers.

While the future may be bright for dreamers, it isnecessary to find ways to help children engage inorder to learn and enjoy success in a structured aca-demic environment.

“The daydreamer is usually fascinated by some-thing that’s been said and is off in that world,” saysDr. Gay Lynn Pendleton Smith, assistant dean of theUniversity of Phoenix College of Education.

The secret to reaching a dreamer, she says, is toteach him how to engage outside of his imagination.

Our children areconnected to ahandheldtechnology devicethat gives themone-on-oneattention and thenwe put them in aclassroom and askthem to dosomething verydifferent.

by Christa Melnyk Hines


“That’s really hard in today’s fast-pacedworld. Our children are connected to ahandheld technology device that gives themone-on-one attention and then we putthem in a classroom and ask them to focuson something and do something theyhaven’t done before. And that’s to engagewith a whole group of people and to focuson one individual,” Smith says.

How can you re-engage your daydream-er? Here are a few tips:Ensure quiet observation time. Consider ifyour child is getting enough time to playquietly on his own. Kids given regular quiettime are more likely to exhibit time man-agement and problem solving abilities.Time alone also fosters creativity, self-confi-dence and independence. Plus, solitudegives kids the opportunity to drive theirown play without having to compromise orgo along with what the group demands.Seek physical and creative outlets. “Out -side activities will satisfy some of that dreammode so that when they get in the class-room they can engage and start to think,”Smith says. Activities like swimming,karate, art, theater or playing an instrument

can nurture concentration skills and pro-vide avenues for self-expression. Encourage note-taking. Talk to your child’steacher about having him take notes orwrite down basic words or pictures describ-ing what the teacher says. Older childrencan also write down thoughts that come upon an idea pad. That way they won’t losethe thought, but can continue to focus onthe teacher or task at hand.Discuss seating arrangements. Talk to theteacher about seating your child toward thefront of the classroom or just off to the side.By being in the middle of the action, herthoughts may be less likely to wander.Ask questions. Encourage your child tothink of questions she can ask the teacherduring instructional time. Also look foropportunities to connect with and listen toyour child one-on-one, whether driving inthe car or while engaged in a creativeprocess like cooking or baking. Knowingthat you are interested in her thoughts mayhelp her feel less inclined to drift off.

If your child continues to struggle withfocus and paying attention, consult withyour pediatrician.

Signs of inattentiveness disorder, which ison the ADHD spectrum: Does your chlld—• Get distracted easily, miss details,

forget things, and frequently switchfrom one activity to another?

• Have difficulty focusing on onething?

• Become bored with a task after onlya few minutes, unless they are doingsomething enjoyable?

• Have difficulty focusing attention onorganizing and completing a task orlearning something new?

• Have trouble completing or turningin homework assignments, often los-ing things (e.g., pencils, toys, assign-ments) needed to complete tasks oractivities?

• Not seem to listen when spoken to?• Daydream, become easily con-

fused, and move slowly?• Have difficulty processing informa-

tion as quickly and accurately asothers?

• Struggle to follow instructions?Source: National Institute of Mental Health

Freelance journalist Christa Melnyk Hines and her husbandare the parents of two boys. Christa’s latest book is Happy,Healthy & Hyperconnected: Raise a Thoughtful Communi -cator in a Digital World.

Belonging“It is like when everyone is yourbest friend for real.” – Ben, age 4

Alderwood House is a nature based,early education program in Richmond,

for children 12 months – 5 years.Rooted in reggio-inspired philosophy, ourgoal is to foster social emotional learning.

Opening new location in PortCoquitlam, January, 2014!

www.alderwoodhouse.com


As a result, the ovaries fill with cysts or cre-ate immature follicles that are unable togenerate eggs. This causes infertility as eggsare not released/ovulated regularly. Alongwith infertility, women with PCOS alsohave a host of other health concerns, in -cluding increased risk of:• High cholesterol• Heart disease • Sleep apnea• Diabetes• Depression and anxiety• Endometrial (uterine) cancer

What are the symptoms of PCOS?The hormonal imbalance and especiallythe excess of male hormones that character-ize PCOS produce a range of symptoms,including: • Irregular or absent periods • Acne• Excessive body hair growth (hirsutism)• High body mass index (BMI) • Belly fat• Depression and anxiety • Hair loss (head)• Pre-diabetic signs• High insulin levels • Infertility

T he American PCOS Foundation callspolycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)the “Silent Killer.” Despite the fact

that PCOS affects 8%–12% of women inNorth America, up to 50% of women withPCOS go undiagnosed according to thePCOS Foundation. This has serious healthimplications for women as PCOS is a lead-ing cause of infertility and is associated witha number of other health problems, includ-ing diabetes, heart disease, and endrome -trial cancer. Some of the women that I see in my fertility practice have no idea theyhave PCOS until they discover they can’tget pregnant.

What is PCOS?PCOS is a condition in which women havehigh levels of male hormones (androgens).These hormones play a role in blocking therelease of the egg from the follicle and in theoverproduction of the female hormoneestrogen.

In a normal menstrual cycle, a numberof follicles begin to grow. The biggest or“dominant” follicle ruptures and releasesthe egg. In women with PCOS, however,the high levels of androgens halt the normalhormonal process and the egg’s development.

Insulin seems to be a key factor inPCOS. Many women with PCOS haveincreased insulin resistance. High levels ofinsulin in the blood lead to the ovaries pro-ducing too much androgen. As well, excessinsulin leads to excess glucose in the bloodand sets the conditions for pre-diabetes,weight gain, and diabesity (diabetes causedby overweight or obesity).

How does insulin affect infertility?Insulin is a hormone that regulates thechange of sugar, starches, and other foodinto energy for the body’s use or for storage.Excess insulin causes a rise in male hor-mones, which can lead to acne, excessivehair growth, weight gain, and ovulationproblems.

As well, insulin blocks the liver fromproducing sex hormone binding globulin—a hormone that restricts which cells areaffected by testosterone. As a result, highinsulin levels increase the amount of malehormones circulating in the blood and alsoamplify the effects of these hormones on allthe cells. In turn, high levels of insulin stim-ulate the ovaries to overproduce androgens.Excess androgens cause the follicles todevelop too quickly and then to shut downprematurely before they produce an egg.

To further complicate matters, insulininsensitivity contributes to weight gain,especially in the belly area, and makes itharder to lose the weight. If that wasn’t badenough, this excess fat sets up a negativefeedback system where high blood levels ofthe fat-derived hormone leptin inhibit theproduction of female fertility hormones.

How is PCOS diagnosed?PCOS can be difficult to diagnose becausethere is no one single diagnostic test and thesigns and symptoms vary from patient topatient. Typically tests include:• Hormone testing• Transvaginal sonogram (to examine the

ovaries)

Exercise is the healthiest andcheapest way to improveyour fertility and decreasepregnancy related risks.

Fertility and PolycysticOvary Syndrome (PCOS)

By Dr. Beth Taylor


sugar into the bloodstream. The rise inblood sugar results in higher insulin pro-duction which, over time, contributes toweight gain and increased diabetes risk.

I don’t suggest that my patients go on ano-carb diet, as this has health problems ofits own. Instead I recommend a “slow carb”diet. Slow carbs are a group of carbohydratesthat take time to break down and be digest-ed. This means that you don’t get spikes inyour blood sugar after eating them. Slowcarbs include beans, peas, lentils, wholegrains, and most vegetables. Eating slowcarbs help to minimize insulin resistance,regulate blood sugar, aid in weight loss, reg-ulate hormones, and prevent diabetes.

Following a low GI slow-carb diet canimprove fertility, lower insulin levels, andimprove other metabolic markers in womenwith PCOS. The glycemic index ranges are:Low GI = less than 55Medium GI = 56–69High GI = over 70

Exercise Exercise has been shown to be extremelyeffective in increasing insulin sensitively.And it doesn’t need to be super strenuous.Just moving your body for 30 minutes a dayso that you break a little sweat is enough tohelp reset your insulin sensitivity. So, if youare overweight and have PCOS, get on yourbike, go for a walk/run, or hit the pool for aswim. You don’t need to do all three in oneday (though there is a nice finisher’s medalif you do!) but you should move and loseweight. It’s the healthiest and cheapest wayto improve your fertility and decrease therisks of pregnancy.

Clinically, if you have two out of three ofthe following symptoms, you will most like-ly be diagnosed with PCOS:• Irregular, few, or absent menstrual periods.• Androgen excess—clinical or biochemical

(excessive body hair, acne, loss of headhair, increased testosterone in the blood)

• Polycystic ovaries—the ovaries of womenwith PCOS usually have a distinctive ap -pearance on ultrasound.

Treatment Options There is no magic bullet for treating PCOSand often a combination of treatment strate-gies is required. The first approach to treat-ing PCOS should be changes in lifestyle,including a low glycemic index (GI) diet tohelp control insulin levels, regular exercise,and weight loss if you have a BMI over 25.

The good news I convey to my over-weight patients with PCOS is that they donot need to lose huge amounts of weight toconceive; they do not need to return to a“normal weight” (typically defined by aBMI of 18–25 kg/m2). One study showedthat 40% of women with PCOS with aBMI of 34 who lost just 5% of their bodyweight got pregnant naturally.1

Weight loss through exercise and diethas been proven to be effective in restoringovulatory cycles and achieving pregnancyfor many of my patients.

What is a low glycemic index? The glycemic index (GI) is a measurementthat ranks carbohydrates based on theirability to raise blood sugar after eating.

Foods with a high GI (all refined carbo-hydrates, such as flour) break down quicklyduring digestion, causing a quick spike of

Exercise is good for you for a whole lotof reasons: • Burns calories• Builds muscle, which in turn increases

insulin sensitivity (reduces insulin resist-ance)

• Reduces insulin levels in the blood• Makes weight loss easier as less glucose is

converted to fat• Reduces cortisol and visceral fat (abdomi-

nal fat)• Reduces stress and promotes deep relax-

ation

Medication In addition to diet and exercise, you mightalso be given one of several drugs to stimulateegg production, such as Clomid, Letro zole,or one of the gonadotropins. Alternatively,you might be given Metformin, a diabetesdrug, and/or the supplement myo-inositolto help lower your insulin levels and regu-larize your cycle.

A final note: if you are overweight andtrying to conceive, you should take 5mg offolic acid while trying to get pregnant as wellas during pregnancy. Non-obese women needto take just 0.4mg to 1.0mg of folic aciddaily. Folic acid can reduce the risk of neu-ral tube defects in the fetus.

1. Moran LJ, Noakes M, Clifton PM, Tomlinson L, NormanRJ. “Dietary composition in restoring reproductive and meta-bolicphysiology in overweight women with polycysticovarysyndrome.” J Clin Endocrinol Metab 2003;88:812-819.

Dr. Beth Taylor is co-director of Olive Fertility Centre andClinical Associate Professor at UBC. Dr. Taylor coordinates theUBC Obstetric & Gynecology residency program “ReproductiveEndocrinology & Infertility” rotation. She is an active staff mem-ber at BC Women’s Hospital and Vancouver General Hospital andperforms surgery at both of these centres.

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M ost of us can relate to the frustra-tions of a teenager who receives agift that doesn’t fit their style.

When I was fourteen, my aunt bought me adictionary for Christmas. I am sure I didmy best to look happy and act thankful, butit was not the gift I was hoping for. In fact,the next day, the dictionary was shoved inthe bottom drawer of my desk where itremained untouched for a long time.

With the holidays approaching, it istime to think about what to get the tweensand teens in our life. Don’t be fooled intobelieving that every teenager appreciates thesame thing. Like us, they all have their owntaste. Although it is hard to compete withthe electronics on their wish lists, you canfind something within your budget to makethem happy.

end and roll up inside an empty tissue box.Stick the end of the money roll out the topso money can continuously pull out.4. Magazines. There are magazines for everyinterest, hobby and age group. Wheth eryour teen is an avid reader or just appreci-ates the pull out posters, magazines are theperfect gift. For the tech savvy teen, consid-er giving them a digital subscription thatthey can view on an e-reader. Wrap the cur-rent issue of the magazine as your gift andplace a little card inside letting them knowabout their subscription. Your gift will beenjoyed all year long.5. A Gift for Two. As much as teens like to bewith their friends, they value spending timewith family members, too. Give them thegift of your time and do something togeth-er. Buy two tickets to a play, concert orsporting event and take your teen with you.Try a spa day or a museum tour. Why notmake a day of it by eating dinner out? Printout the brochure from the play, a team logoor museum map to place in a box with anitinerary of your day together. 6. Five-dollar gift cards. If you are still notsure what to get your tween or teen, it’s timeto fall back on the gift cards. Why not pur-chase several $5 gift cards so your teen canenjoy your gift on a few occasions? Five dol-lars is enough for a latte, a mall pretzel, anice cream, a sub sandwich or a few items atthe dollar store.

This holiday season, deliver the cool giftyour tween or teen will use and appreciate.With a little creativity and a little informa-tion about your teen, you are guaranteed topick something that won’t sit in a drawerwith the tags still on it. Adults may say it isthe thought that counts, but when you are ateen, it is the gift.

Pam Molnar is a freelance writer and mother of two teens anda tween. These gift suggestions have been approved by the teenswho share her home (and everything else she has).

1. Entertainment. It is not a surprise thattweens and teens like to do things with theirfriends. Encourage interaction with friendsbeyond social networking and video gamesand buy them a gift of entertainment. Teenslove going to the movies, bowling or to alocal pizza restaurant. More active teensmay enjoy gifts to go rock climbing or playlaser tag. 2. Memory Keepers. A teen’s life is meas-ured in events—choir practices, footballgames, dances at school or youth group out-ings. Why not let them preserve the memo-ries of those events by giving them journals,photo albums or frames? A digital frameallows your teen to run a slideshow of theirphotos and relive those good times everyday. A simple scrapbook may be welcomedby a craftier teen to store ticket stubs andconcert programs.3. Cash. You will always get a positiveresponse—and maybe even a smile—whenyou give the gift of cash. Many teens wantto save for a big purchase and money is atthe top of their lists. Instead of handingover a card with a check inside, be more cre-ative. Blow up balloons and insert rolled up$1 bills. Make a money tree from a branch,place it in a pot and decorate with money asif it is growing. Tape cash together end to

6Cool Gift Ideas for

By Pam Molnar

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BC Parent Holiday Issue

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