BAD IRISH JOKES (1/12) During the water shortage, Dublin swimming pools closed lanes 5 and 6. Heard...

BAD IRISH JOKES (1/12)BAD IRISH JOKES (1/12)During the water shortage, Dublin

swimming pools closed lanes 5 and 6.Heard about four paddies in a circle,

smoking? Police thought they'd found a dope ring.

Heard about the Irish firing squad? Formed a circle.

Sign on Irish parachute? Opens on impact.

During the water shortage, Dublin swimming pools closed lanes 5 and 6.Heard about four paddies in a circle,

smoking? Police thought they'd found a dope ring.

Heard about the Irish firing squad? Formed a circle.

Sign on Irish parachute? Opens on impact.

BAD IRISH JOKES (2/12) BAD IRISH JOKES (2/12)

How do you grow your own dope? Plant a field of Paddys.

Can you really grow rice in a Paddy field?How do you make a one armed Irishman fall

out of a tree? Wave to him.How many Irishmen does it take to change a

light bulb? Five; One to hold the light bulb and four to

drink until the room starts spinning.

How do you grow your own dope? Plant a field of Paddys.

Can you really grow rice in a Paddy field?How do you make a one armed Irishman fall

out of a tree? Wave to him.How many Irishmen does it take to change a

light bulb? Five; One to hold the light bulb and four to

drink until the room starts spinning.


Mick asked the barman for a glass of orange, the barman says "still orange?"

Mick says "oh yes, I haven't changed my mind."

Mick goes into a shop and asks "what colour are your Union Jacks?"

Paddy says "Red, white and blue", Mick says "I'll take a blue one please"

Mick asked the barman for a glass of orange, the barman says "still orange?"

Mick says "oh yes, I haven't changed my mind."

Mick goes into a shop and asks "what colour are your Union Jacks?"

Paddy says "Red, white and blue", Mick says "I'll take a blue one please"


Paddy and Murphy in the jungle, Murphy throws a brick at a lion, hits it on the back

of the head,

Murphy says "run for your life Paddy" Paddy says "not me, you threw the brick

Paddy killed himself jumping off the 14th floor after a mate told him he flew

Wellingtons during the war.

Paddy and Murphy in the jungle, Murphy throws a brick at a lion, hits it on the back

of the head,

Murphy says "run for your life Paddy" Paddy says "not me, you threw the brick

Paddy killed himself jumping off the 14th floor after a mate told him he flew

Wellingtons during the war.


Paddy says "Seamus, have you been sleeping with my daughter?",

Seamus says "bejausus no, I never slept a wink!"

Paddy says, "lend me a fiver Murphy", Murphy says "I've only got 4 quid",

Paddy says "that's all right, you can owe me a quid!"

Paddy says "Seamus, have you been sleeping with my daughter?",

Seamus says "bejausus no, I never slept a wink!"

Paddy says, "lend me a fiver Murphy", Murphy says "I've only got 4 quid",

Paddy says "that's all right, you can owe me a quid!"


They've invented a new tea bag in Ireland, it’s waterproof.

Traffic warden says, "you can't park your car there",

Paddy says "I can - the sign says 'fine for parking'"

What do you call 3 Irishmen in a huddle? A thicket.

They've invented a new tea bag in Ireland, it’s waterproof.

Traffic warden says, "you can't park your car there",

Paddy says "I can - the sign says 'fine for parking'"

What do you call 3 Irishmen in a huddle? A thicket.


What do you call a pregnant Irishwoman? A dope carrier.

What do you call an Irishman on a bike? A dope peddler.

What do you call an Irishman with 10 'A' levels? A liar!

What do you call an Irishman with a Rolls Royce? A thief!

What do you call a pregnant Irishwoman? A dope carrier.

What do you call an Irishman on a bike? A dope peddler.

What do you call an Irishman with 10 'A' levels? A liar!

What do you call an Irishman with a Rolls Royce? A thief!


Where does an Irish family go on holiday? A different bar.

Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland? They couldn't find three wise men.

Riley said to Delaney, "How long has Murphy been dead?"

Delaney said, "Well, if he'd lived until Saturday, he would have been dead six

weeks

Where does an Irish family go on holiday? A different bar.

Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland? They couldn't find three wise men.

Riley said to Delaney, "How long has Murphy been dead?"

Delaney said, "Well, if he'd lived until Saturday, he would have been dead six

weeks


What are the best ten years of an Irishman's life? Third grade.

How do you sink an Irish submarine? Knock on the hatch.

Concerning bagpipes: The Irish invented them and gave them to

the Scots as a joke, and the Scots haven't seen the joke yet.

What are the best ten years of an Irishman's life? Third grade.

How do you sink an Irish submarine? Knock on the hatch.

Concerning bagpipes: The Irish invented them and gave them to

the Scots as a joke, and the Scots haven't seen the joke yet.


Irish people love Muslims. They have taken a lot of heat off us.

Before, we were "the terrorists" but now, we're "the Riverdance people

Two guys came knocking at my door once and said:

"We want to talk to you about Jesus." I said: "Oh, no, what's he done now?"

Irish people love Muslims. They have taken a lot of heat off us.

Before, we were "the terrorists" but now, we're "the Riverdance people

Two guys came knocking at my door once and said:

"We want to talk to you about Jesus." I said: "Oh, no, what's he done now?"


Paddy asked for a return ticket, Bloke says "Where to?" Paddy says " Back here,

pillock!"

Paddy says "My mother in law's an ungrateful bitch, I bought her a chair for

Christmas, and she still hasn't plugged it in".

Paddy asked for a return ticket, Bloke says "Where to?" Paddy says " Back here,

pillock!"

Paddy says "My mother in law's an ungrateful bitch, I bought her a chair for

Christmas, and she still hasn't plugged it in".


Murphy was arrested at the greyhound track, police caught him trying to drug the

hare.

Paddy was asked what was Ghandi's first name, replied "Goosey, Goosey“

Murphy was arrested at the greyhound track, police caught him trying to drug the

hare.

Paddy was asked what was Ghandi's first name, replied "Goosey, Goosey“

BAD IRISH JOKES (1/12) During the water shortage, Dublin swimming pools closed lanes 5 and 6. Heard...

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