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Academic Literacies 2

Lecture Week 10

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Lecture outline

Feedback on drafts

Revision

Editing and proofreading Sentence structure

Word choice/language use

Conciseness

Clarity Editing and proofreading a reference list

Tutorial

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Portfolio Stage 3 (Week 12)

Following the peer-review sessions (Weeks7 and 9), you will be expected to take onboard the feedback from your peer and

the feedback from your tutor whenredrafting the assignment. This redraft willcomprise Stage 3 of the portfolio.

A copy of the redraft of both assignments

should be e-mailed to your tutor beforeclass in Week 12.

3

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Feedback on draftsIntroductions No context given No clear organising principle (thesis statement,

research question) No indication of the organisation Overstating your aimStructure Poor paragraphing

Poor sentence structure Pronoun reference unclear Poor signposting Short paragraphs ...

Referencing

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Examples

³I chose to study this because « I decidedthat I would analyse and describe « I amstudying « I felt it was important for me

to understand « ³

³I chose this statement because I wasvery intrigued by « I have been fascinatedby « I believe that « I thoroughly lookforward to researching and investigatingthis theory further for the purpose of thisproject.´ 

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Examples

³For this assignment I must write acritique of an argument written in the IrishTimes.´ 

³This paper and I will «´ 

³I will undergo an analysis «´ 

³« which I feel is an important feature of 

«´  ³« I will see if I can see if these theories

«´ 

³ « we look at « ³

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Examples

Anarchy like Machiavellianism usuallyconjures up unflattering images such asthe hooded individual holding explosives

ready to destroy the foundations of society, however there is also thepoliticised and secure version of anarchy,anarchism first conceived in the

awakening of the French Revolution andcarried on by numerous academics andadvocates of anarchy into its modernrepresentation.

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Examples

³Although the tool which was used soeffectively to spread these views rapidlywas the printing press.´ 

³There are frequent references to thearchitecture, and the social functions of the house.´ 

³The Backing for the Warrant is evident in

the fifth paragraph.´  ³As Behn is the narrator we only see

Oroonoko through her eyes and throughher eyes we as the reader learn that the

main character is a true great hero.´ 

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Examples

³I believe this is the most affective way forher«´ 

³« language and gender and how it effects

our society´  ³Its difficult to deduce whether or not « ´ 

³³Many researchers «´ ³Many scientistsbelieve´ 

³This issue«´ 

³Alpha Behns shot novel «´ 

³Some would describe media violence as a

µdrug¶. (Murray, J.P. (2008) µMedia Violence¶)´ 

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The writing process

Drafting

RevisionEditing and

proofreading

Pre-writing

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Revision

What is the thesis?

Who is the audience?

Have you fulfilled the assignment¶srequirements?

Have you written the paper according tothe required conventions?

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Revision

Revising the structure

Introduction

A clear logical structure

Your arguments / evidence

Conclusion

Revising the research methodology/designand methods

Revising the content

Accuracy

Style

Use of words

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Revising the structure

Introduction

Have you stared what you are doingand why?

Have you outlined the structure? Have you mapped the plan?

Does the introduction engage thereader¶s interest?

Does the essay introduce issues that itdoes not develop?

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Revising the structure

A clear logical structure

Did you lead the reader clearly through thepaper?

Did you follow the map outlined in theintroduction?

Did you give directions to the reader?(check coherence, topic sentences and

transition signals)

Have you delivered on all your promises?

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Revising the structure

Your arguments / evidence

Is each argument developed sufficiently?

Do you give enough evidence to support

your argument? Do you use the appropriate language to

reflect the evidence?

Is the content of each paragraph relevant?

Does irrelevant information get in the way? Is their anything that might damage your

credibility?

Conclusion

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Revising the

research methodology/design

Is the methodology appropriate?

Are the following clear and appropriate?

Sampling strategy

Data collection

Data analysis

Are the findings presented clearly?

Are the findings supported by sufficientdata?

How important are the findings?

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Revising the content

Accuracy

Facts: Is the content accurate?

Quotations: Is it clear which ideas aremine / those of others?

Are all sources and referencesacknowledged?

Is everything in thebibliography/reference list?

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Revising the content

Style / use of words Are there words, phrases, sentences or

paragraphs that are unnecessary? Will the reader get lost in long sentences? Are there any obscure / ambiguous

words? Is the appropriate voice used? Are there unnecessary modifiers?

Final read Does it flow smoothly / read well? Is it interesting? Is the pace / rhythm appropriate? Does it look neat and professional?

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Editing and proofreading

This is the careful editing of each line andeach graphic to ensure that the material isexpressed in simple, clear correct English

Checking errors in spelling, punctuation,grammar, format, sentence structure

Proofreading is not editing in the broadersense ± it is an effort to achieve

correctness in the elements mentionedabove

Correctness is the most importantcriterion of excellence

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Editing a reference list

Check that in-text dates and pagenumbers match reference list

Only enter names in reference list that

you have mentioned in your text ± it¶snot a bibliography

Make sure that if a name is mentionedin the document that is in included in

the reference list Do a separate edit of your reference

list, checking everything matches,everything is included and it is

consistent